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I led the way until we reached the exit. I got the feeling this was the second time Yukinoshita, who was going home as well, couldn't get out after attempting to leave me behind. It was more than enough of the giant labyrinth of old ‐ but only to her.

On the way, there was a game corner aimed at families and couples.

Medal games, crane games, co‐op shooting games, racing games that took place inside vehicles that hid your face from the outside world ‐ and not to mention the photo booths. It was the essential kit for anyone to have a giggle and a good time with. In other words, nothing to do with me.

Just as I was briskly wading my way through all of this, Yukinoshita stopped in her tracks.

"What's up?" I asked. "So you want to play a game now?"

"I have no interest in games." Said the girl whose eyes were fixed on the crane game. Oh wait, now that I looked closely, that wasn't what she was focusing on. When I followed Yukinoshita's gaze, it seemed she was only staring at one particular crane game.

Inside that machine, there was a certain stuffed toy I recognised by sight. Brooding eyes that seemed to peer into the darkness of this world, claws that could cut through beast and bamboo alike, sharp fangs that gleamed eerily in the dark. Naturally, it was Pan‐san the panda. If you saw how much of an impact he made, you'd understand why I attached 'san' to his name.

"…you wanna give it a shot?"

"Spare me. I don't particularly want to play games."

"Just after the toy then. Well you ought to play if you want it. Though I don't reckon you'd get it."

"My my, quite the confrontational statement, hm? Are you looking down on me by any chance?" I must have struck a nerve, because a chilly wave started to exude from Yukinoshita.

"Not really. Those crane games are rigged against the customer. Plus it's hard if you're not used to it-that kind of thing. I mean Komachi did it over and over again and she didn't get the thing she wanted once."

The sight of someone persisting in pouring almost all the coins in their piggybank into a machine could only be described as pitiable. But far from sinking Yukinoshita's competitive attitude, Komachi's example caused Yukinoshita to sink a thousand yen note into the money‐exchanging machine.

"In that case, I only need to get used to it," she said as the hundred‐yen coins piled up beside the insert slot, ready to be spent in one big go.

She inserted a hundred‐yen coin. That caused the machine to make a really idiotic 'fueee!' noise. As if trying to ascertain something, Yukinoshita stared fixatedly at the machine, unmoving.

No words were spoken. Her expression was in deadly earnest, matched only by her force of will.

This chick… could it be…?

She had no idea how to operate the machine…?

"The right button moves it left and right, and the left button is forwards and back. It only moves while you're holding the button. As soon as you release your finger it stops."

"I‐I see… thank you."

Blushing bright red, Yukinoshita started the game. First, she made the crane shift to the right… hm, well, not bad going. Then, she moved it inwards. Hmm, that was a quite a good position, in my opinion.

Then, with a 'fueee!' the crane grabbed hold of the stuffed toy. W‐what was with this crane? It made such a cute cry…

"…I got it." I heard an extremely soft voice. When I whipped my gaze over to Yukinoshita, her hands were clenched tightly and she was trembling weakly.

But Crane‐chan let out another 'fueee!' and let the stuffed toy slip and fall, before returning to its fixed position without uttering so much as a peep.

A failure.

"Hey, it was hard for us at first, you know?" I said, trying to comfort her.

Yukinoshita was glaring at the crane with every fibre of her being.

"…excuse me, didn't you pick it up perfectly just now? How can I get you to drop the toy over there?" Yukinoshita pressed Crane‐chan for an answer the way she normally did with me. She was being so intense I just stood by the sidelines and watched.

"W‐well, see here. You put it in the position where it's a bit easier to get now. Seems the trick is to move it little by little."

At least, that was the advice written on the display.

"I see… what you lack in brute force you make up for in numbers." Her face dawning with comprehension, she inserted another hundred‐yen coin.

Fueee…

"…bah, not again."

Fueeeeeee, fueeeeeee. "

Oh, good grief…"

Fueee…

"Tch!"

It was Yukinoshita's reaction just from hearing the voice. All I could hear after that was the sound of Yukinoshita abusing the machine.

You could say Yukinoshita's expression was calm and collected, but her hand was punching coins into the machine furiously. So she was still at it, huh…

No matter how much she kept at it, her efforts seemed futile.

"…you really suck."

"Hmph… if you're criticising me, does that mean you have the skills?" Yukinoshita said as she scowled at me.

"A little. It's all about leveraging your advantage. Plus Komachi used to pester me into doing it all the time. Thanks to her, I've gotten pretty damn good at it. Whenever Komachi begs me into doing stuff…"

"I see how it is…"

Really, just when did I start handling everything at Komachi's beck and call…? My pride and dignity as an older brother was reduced to zero.

"I'll give it a shot. I can obtain it for you no sweat," I said, to which Yukinoshita reluctantly cleared the way for me, her eyes brimming with deep suspicion. "Now then, I'll show you my dirty tricks."

Then, ever so slowly, I raised my hands as high as they could go. I held them straight like ninepins. Yukinoshita looked at my hands, eyes full of expectation that something was going to start. Not yet… not yet… the most important thing was the timing. Then I caught sight of a sudden movement out of the corner of my eye. Now!

"Er, uh, excuse me. I really want this…"

"Yes, this Pan‐san the panda, you say? I'll get to it right way."

Fueee… Crane‐chan cried, as something dropped with a plop.

"Okay, here you go," said the arcade corner lady with a cordial smile as she handed me Pan‐san.

It was the oft‐used 'get something in exchange' service of recent times.

"Oh, thanks," I uttered my gratitude.

The lady returned the favour with a magnanimous smile that covered every inch of her face, before going back where she came from.

Meanwhile, Yukinoshita was right next to me, looking at me with a sourer expression than usual.

"W‐what…?"

"Nothing… I was merely wondering if it was embarrassing for you to live."

"Look here, Yukinoshita. Life is our greatest gift. Isn't it more embarrassing to think that's embarrassing? That's why those assholes who look at me and laugh 'Ewww! How embarrassing!' are the ones who have no value in living."

"You tainted your good lines with unnecessary hatred…" Yukinoshita sighed tersely as she flicked a loose strand of hair in disgust. "My goodness… just as I thought you were taking things seriously for once, you go and pull that…"

"I didn't say I'd play it for you. I only said I'd obtainit for you. Here, take it." I shoved Pan‐san into Yukinoshita's hands.

But Yukinoshita pushed it back at me. "You're the one who obtained it. Even if you did use means I refuse to acknowledge, I ought to acknowledge your achievement."

Yukinoshita proceeded to go through all the formalities, even though the whole thing was so ultimately trivial. You could say she was serious, or maybe stubborn. Actually, no, she just had a stick up her arse. But I wasn't the kind of person who would be defeated by someone's obstinacy.

"Nah, I don't need it, you see. And plus, you used your own money. You're the one who paid compensation. Which means you've got the obligation to take it," I said.

At that, Yukinoshita's resistance weakened and the stuffed toy fell snugly into her arms. "…I‐I see."

Yukinoshita's gaze fell to the stuffed toy she clutched in her own arms. Then, she peered at me sideways.

Silence.

"I won't give it back to you, you know."

"I said I don't need it."

Like anyone would want such an evil‐looking toy. Besides, I wouldn't ask for it back when she was holding it like it was so important to her. So she had her cute side too. And here I thought she was more cold‐blooded. At that point, I realised I was looking at her with a smile on my face.

Slightly embarrassedly, Yukinoshita turned her face away, her cheeks somewhat red. "…it doesn't suit you. That sort of thing fits Yuigahama‐san or Totsuka‐kun's image more."

"The former I can take it or leave it, but I can agree with you on the latter."

The best match for Totsuka with a stuffed toy would be bread rolls and milk.

"Anyway, I'm honestly surprised you're a fan of stuffed toys," I blurted out, but Yukinoshita wasn't particularly fussed. She just stroked Pan‐san leisurely.

"…I have no real interest in other toys, but I do like this Pan‐san the Panda."

Yukinoshita kept on fiddling with the toy's arms. Each time she did that, Pan‐san's claws made a sinister scratching noise. If I paid no heed to the sound, it seemed exceedingly cute as a composition.

"Although I've been collecting soft toys and goods for a long time, I could only get them through prizes rather than through ordinary channels, so I've been at a loss. I considered net auctions, but I couldn't quite make up my mind since I worry about how the items being displayed at auctions are being preserved or whether the photos that are posted are manufactured..."

H‐her reasons weren't cute at all…

Inadvertently, I sighed. "A‐anyway, you really do like that Pan‐san."

Having been exposed to her pointless animal mania, my words shot out of my mouth unheeded.

Unbeknownst to herself, Yukinoshita had a faraway look in her eyes after hearing what I said. "…indeed. I received one when I was young."

"A stuffed toy?"

"No, the original manuscript of the story."

"Huh? Um, what do you mean by story?" I asked, taken aback.

But this turned out to be a mistake. The next moment, Yukinoshita started talking on and on, as if she had fallen into a trance. "Pan‐san the Panda. The original title was Hello, Mister Panda. Before they changed the title it was Panda's Garden. It's said that the American biologist Rand McIntosh started writing it for his son, who wasn't quite able to adapt to his new environment when the whole family crossed China for McIntosh's research on pandas."

"…there we go, it's Yukipedia all over again."

Although I was kind of half‐making fun of her, Yukinoshita went on talking completely blithely.

"Although the chibi‐fied Dizney edition emphasises the characters more, the original story was excellent. It excelled at combining western and eastern metaphor and telling a single focused narrative. One can feel the overriding message of love for his son at every level."

"Huh, was it that kind of story? I thought for sure it was only a story about a panda that said, 'I want to eat bamboo grass all day,' and then when he did eat bamboo grass, he got drunk on it and did drunken boxing."

"…indeed, that scene is emphasised in the Dizney version, so I cannot say anything to you there, but that part played a minor role in the original story. You'll see if you read it for yourself. The translation is also quite superb, but I really do recommend you read the original manuscript," Yukinoshita gushed openly.

Ahh, I could remember doing something like this. You get like that when you talk about something you like. Back when I was in middle school, I went on and on for thirty minutes about a mathematicians I liked to these guys I thought I got along with.

Around that time they said to me, 'You don't usually talk much, Hikigaya, but the only time you don't shut up is when it's about math. That's kinda… you know,' and I wanted to die on the inside.

Still, being able to talk about what you like as much as you like was a good thing, in my opinion. Even if, say, it wasn't something mainstream or the general public wouldn't accept it. It was a good thing, not thinking about whether others would accept what you like or whether you could get along with people who didn't really like you.

But, having said that, I was in a bind if she was asking me to read the original manuscript.

"I just had a thought. You were able to read English since you were little, huh."

"Not in the least. But it was because I couldn't read English that I constantly referred to the dictionary as I read it. It was entertaining like solving a puzzle." Yukinoshita's eyes were gentle, as if she was reminiscing fondly over her distant past. Then after a moment she murmured, in a voice as low as a whisper, "It was a birthday present. I might have sentimental attachment to it because of that." She hesitated. "Th‐that's why, um…" Yukinoshita buried her head against the toy embarrassedly, hiding her expression as her gaze turned on me. "That's why… when you gave this to me‐"

"Huuuuh? Yukino‐chan? Oh, it really is you, Yukino‐chan!" A blithely cheerful voice cut Yukinoshita off mid‐sentence. When I caught sight of the owner of that somehow familiar, recognisable voice, I was speechless.

Glossy black hair and smooth, translucent white skin ‐ not to mention the composed and elegant facial features. With her rare, ravishing good looks that oozed with girlishness, her amiable smile was the icing on top of an already extravagant cake.

Right before my eyes stood a beauty of unbelievable proportions.

She had probably been hanging out with her friends, because she clapped her hands in apology and said, "Sorry, I'll catch up to you guys," to the numerous men and women hustling and bustling behind her.

A sense of déjà vu assailed me. But more than that ‐ more than anything ‐ I was tormented by the feeling of distinct unease.

"Nee‐san…"

I swung around upon hearing Yukinoshita's voice. Her defenseless expression from before was gone now, replaced by a look of horror. She squeezed her stuffed toy tightly against her chest, her shoulders stiffening.

"Huh? That's your sister? What?" My eyes flitted between Yukinoshita and the woman in front of me, comparing the two. If I could put a number on the woman's age, I'd say she was around twenty. Her soft clothes, which had fluttering lace attached to the ends, were based around a white theme, and her arms and legs emphasised the beauty of her skin.

She was blinding to look at, but weirdly, her entire body gave off a look of refinement. She really did resemble Yukinoshita. If Yukinoshita was a solid beauty, the woman before me was a liquid one, overflowing with charm.

"What are you doing here? Oooooh! A date, right?! It has to be a date! Teehee!"

"…"

The older Yukinoshita teased the younger Yukinoshita, nudging her incessantly with her elbow. But Yukinoshita kept a stony face and merely seemed irritated. I see now.

They looked alike, but their personalities seemed worlds apart. When I got my bearings and looked really closely, there were a number of differences between them.

Exhibit A) breasts. Unlike the modest Yukinoshita, the sister had a mighty fine pair. Her well‐shaped breasts, matched with a slender body, were a sight for sore eyes.

"Hey hey, Yukino‐chan, is that your boyfriend? Are you going out with him?"

"…absolutely not. We're schoolmates."

"Now now! No need to be shy!"

Yukinoshita said nothing. Whoa, if looks could kill… even though anyone would piss their pants in fear if they were on the receiving end of Yukinoshita's glare, her sister grinned and took it in stride.

"I'm Yukino‐chan's sister Haruno," she said to me. "Play nice with Yukino‐chan, okay?"

"I'm Hikigaya." She introduced herself by name so I introduced myself back.

So, somehow it looked like the sister's name was Yukinoshita Haruno. Right, got it. "Hikigaya…" Haruno‐san paused only a moment to think, quickly sizing me up from head to toe. "I see…" In that instant, a chill went down my spine, enough to make me shiver.

As if struck by temporary paralysis, I was rooted to the spot.

But then she sang, "I'll call you Hikigaya‐kun, then. Great, nice to meet you."

Haruno‐san defused the tension with a broad grin. What was that just now…? Was it, you know, because I was nervous being looked at by a beautiful woman? She might physically resemble Yukinoshita, but the impression she gave off was completely different. Unlike Yukinoshita and her overpowering cool‐girl image, the sister's expressions were forever changing. Who knew that smiles had so many different variations?

Although their parts were the same, I was struck by how differently they used them.

I understood now why they were so different, and yet still some kind of unsatisfied feeling of being out of place rolled down my spine once again. The true cause of my discomfort was probably not in their differences. When I turned my suspicious gaze on Haruno‐san, she met my eyes only fleetingly before instantly shifting her attention to Yukinoshita.

"Oh, hey. Isn't that Pan‐san the panda?" she said in a sprightly tone as she reached out for stuffed toy. "I like this! How nice, it's so soft. I'm jealous, Yukino‐chan."

"Don't touch it." Yukinoshita's voice was so strong it made your ears ring. It wasn't like she raised her voice or anything. It was just that her refusal rang out so loud and clear it hurt to listen. Haruno‐san must have felt the same way, because her unchanging smile from before froze on her face.

She said nothing for a moment. "Wh‐whoa, that gave me a fright," she said finally. "S‐sorry, Yukino‐chan, I‐I get it now. I was a bit thick not to realise it was a present from your boyfriend."

"Um, I'm not her boyfriend," I said.

"Teehee, you're playing coy. Big sis won't forgive you if you make Yukino‐chan cry."

With a 'hmph!' Haruno‐san lifted her index finger to rebuke me, before poking my cheek incessantly until it hurt. Argh, ouch, watch it, don't get so close! (She smelled nice.)

With her communication powers, she could wield power over me even though we were strangers. Haruno‐san, who was pressing against me from this close position, was the owner of a terrifying power.

"Nee‐san, that's enough. If you have nothing to do here, then we'll just get going now," Yukinoshita said, but Haruno‐san paid her no heed and went on pestering me.

"Go on, you can tell me! How long have you two been dating?"

"Wai‐! Seriously, please stop it!" She went on with her finger poking attack stubbornly, and before I knew it, Haruno‐san was pressed up against me.

I panicked a little. Somebody besides my family getting so close to me made my skin crawl a little. I disentagled myself and slipped away from Haruno-san. I held my hands placating out in front of me. "Please don't do that. We're not dating, we're just schoolmates."

"…Nee‐san, cut that out this instant."

It was a low voice, one that threatened to shake the earth. As Yukinoshita flicked her hair, not bothering to conceal her fury, her eyes pierced Haruno‐san with a disdainful glare.

"Oh… sorry, Yukino‐chan. I might've gotten a bit carried away," Haruno‐san said unapologetically, laughing weakly. It looked like a blockhead older sister and a highly strung younger sister sort of arrangement. Then Haruno‐san started whispering in my ear. (Like I said, not so close!) "Sorry, ya know? Yukino‐chan's a sensitive girl… so you'd better watch out for her, Hikigaya‐kun."

This time, I was assailed by a definite feeling of unease. I started involuntarily. As if taken aback by my reaction, Haruno‐san tilted her head to the right and closed her eyes with a whimper.

In that instant, the only thing a guy standing nearby could think of was how cute her mannerisms were.

"Did I do something to make you hate me? If I did, sorry," Haruno‐san apologised, poking out her pink tongue. I didn't like this. I preferred Yukinoshita's cold shoulder to Haruno-san's warm temperament. It was welcome, even expected that people would treat me like dirt and not remember my name. So when the opposite happened I was a little shocked and put on my toes. I didn't like how the situation smelled. I had a paranoid schizophrenic nose at that.

"It's nothing. You surprised me. That's all."

As for Haruno‐san, her patent grinning smile was returning to her face. "Aha," she sang. "You're hilarious, Hikigaya‐kun!" I had no idea what was so funny, but Haruno‐san was laughing uproariously as she thumped my back. (Like I said, not so close!) "Oh, that reminds me. Hikigaya‐kun. Wanna go out for tea with me if you're free? I have to make sure you're good enough to be Yukino‐chan's boyfriend." Haruno‐ san threw out her chest and winked lightly in my direction.

"…how presumptuous. I said he was merely my schoolmate." A harsh and severe voice like a North Pole blizzard cut in. It was the sound of a deeply felt reaction, one that was caused by Haruno‐san's joking tone and everything else about her. Yukinoshita had unleashed the ultimate rejection.

But Haruno‐san brushed it aside this time with a cheeky smile. "I mean, it's the first time I've seen you go out with someone, Yukino‐chan. Isn't it natural I'd think he was your boyfriend? I was happy for you." Haruno‐san let out a strange laugh that sounded like a snicker. "You're a teenager, so you may as well have fun! Oh, but you better not be screwing, y'know?" Jokingly, Haruno‐san put her left hand on her hip and leaned over, her right index finger held up in warning. As she held that posture, she put her head close to Yukinoshita's ears and whispered something softly. "After all, Mother's still mad over you living alone."

The instant the word 'Mother' came out, Yukinoshita's entire body stiffened.

A subdued silence descended over the area. As if by some illusion, the sound had grown quieter like an ebbing tide even in the game corner, a place that should have been full of ruckus.

In the span of that moment, Yukinoshita hugged her stuffed toy as if to make sure it was there. "…it really has nothing to do with you, Nee‐san," Yukinoshita uttered as if she was talking to the ground, not looking her sister in the eyes.

Where was the Yukinoshita Yukino who never wavered and stood tall ‐ the Yukinoshita who was never cowed by anyone or looked at the ground. It was a scene that shook me mildly. She was the kind of person who would allow herself to feel down when she was alone, but I'd never seen her knees shake when she talked to another person.

Haruno‐san chuckled out of the corner of her mouth. "Yeah, you're right. It has nothing to do with me," she said, pulling back abruptly as if jumping away. "As long as you've put thought into it, it's fine, Yukino‐chan. I was trying to help, but I was butting in. Sorry about that." As a sheepish smile came over her face, Haruno‐san laughed and turned to me. "Hikigaya‐kun. I'll say this to you again: let's go out for tea when you become Yukino‐chan's boyfriend. Okay, see you later!"

Eventually, a blindingly brilliant smile came over Haruno's face and she did a little wave in front of her chest to say bye‐bye. And with that, she skipped off into the distance.

Struck by how overwhelming her radiance was, I couldn't turn my eyes away. In the end, I watched her until she was completely out of sight.

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"Your sister sure is something."

"Everyone says that when they meet her. She's smart and talented. She's a martial artist and a fantastic student. Not to mention she's beautiful."

"Yeah but I mean… so are you though. Right?"

"...huh?"

"I was talking about her facade. She wears a suit of power armor. Getting close to me and touching me after just having met me."

"Did it really make you uncomfortable?"

"Yes. I don't like being touched out of nowhere by people I don't trust," I answered.

"Because of your hallucinations?"

"Not so much. Maybe. I don't think so though. I think I was always like this even before my psychosis settled in on me."

"How would you feel if I touched you?" She asked. Something indecipherable in her tone.

"Well it would certainly be out of nowhere but I trust you. I don't think I like your sister."

"You don't."

"Nobody acts that way without something to hide. Me? I'm an open book. No secrets really. I don't welcome people into my arms with good reason. Neither do you."

"Really? You don't like her?"

"Don't think so. I have a bit of a paranoid nose. Paranoid schizophrenic sort of nose. I don't like the way she smelled and acted. I think nobody has any business talking to me like that. Other people's disgust is expected. Welcomed, even. I guess I'm surprised when I meet anything other than that."

"To think my sister would be caught by such rotten reasoning."

"Well is it really that rotten?"

"Quite so."

"Well what can you do?"

"Not be so rotten. Though I suppose it's a good thing in this case."

"You're praising me?"

"I am. Not many people pick apart my sister so easily. Not many people saw what you saw."

With nothing to do we had started walking to the exit. I led the way because Yukinoshita really was bad at directions.

"It was in how she touched me. I doubt I would have noticed if she hadn't gone for that. It set my teeth on edge."

"You really didn't like being touched by a beautiful young woman?"

"I really really didn't." Yukinoshita might have been less than impressed, but it wasn't like that was the only reason I thought the way I did. "While we're at it, your faces might look similar, but when you smile you look completely different."

I knew what a real smile looked like. Not a flirtatious smile, nor a smile for tricking people or for diverting their attention ‐ a real, honest‐to‐god smile. When I said that, Yukinoshita picked up her walking pace, leaving me several steps behind.

"Hmph… an idiotic reason." Then she looked back at me over her shoulder at me. I saw her usual cold, unchanging expression. "…let's go home," she said softly.

I nodded.

I had nothing to ask Yukinoshita, and Yukinoshita didn't act as if she had anything to say to me either. Perhaps it was a time when we should have asked questions and spoken to each other. But, instead of stepping on each other's toes, we chose to embrace the sense of distance that was all too familiar to us now. And because of that, we spent the time without any human warmth, as fellow people sitting next to each other on the train.

When she arrived at the station we were getting off at, Yukinoshita stood up from her seat ahead of me. I followed suit.

Once we got past the ticket barrier, Yukinoshita instantly stopped in her tracks.

"I'm going this way," she said, pointing to the south exit.

"Oh. See you," I responded, facing the north exit. As my back was turned to her, I heard a small voice.

"Today was fun. See you later."

My first impulse was to doubt my own ears. I spun around hastily, but Yukinoshita was already walking off. She showed no sign of looking back at me.

In the end, I watched Yukinoshita until she was completely out of sight.

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-WG