Chapter 8: Jealous Thoughts

The next two weeks pass overly easily enough, though Sirius is still acting out of the sort. It is something that the entire Potter household has noticed but none have yet brought it up in hopes that time alone would indulge them in the strange boy's mind.

A few nights Cressida would find herself staying up later beyond usual, contemplating the notion of returning to her home. Contemplating may be an overstatement. Overthinking would fit better. She overthought everything that had happened. What would her father do? She is not his prized daughter, but still his by kin nevertheless and that puts some sort of claim over her head that he feels the need to take. But what could he do? She is across the country in a home full of of-age wizards and he doesn't even know where she could have potentially gone. The only address that they had ever been given would have been on the letters James sent her mother but she doubts that they were kept.

But what if her mother gets ill? What if she needs to be taken care of and her father wouldn't do it? What if her father is finally taken away and put in jail, leaving her mother penniless and alone. And if they moved, Cressida would have no idea where they decide to go and lose all ability to contact them. She doesn't even know how somebody could track their family down with no other connections but a name.

A name that she's prepared to give up sooner rather than later.

"Believe it or not," James murmurs to her, sliding a mug of tea towards her over the kitchen bench, "this is better than he was before."

Cressida takes the drink with a slow exhale, subtly glimpsing over her shoulder where she could see Sirius' head poking over the top of a lounge in the family room. There's no one big thing that a stranger could notice if they were asked to observe her friend's actions, but they could see it. He leaves his door open every night. His right hand gliding over his wand pocket to make sure that it is there, if not already in his hand. And no matter if they were with each other before or not, he always comes into her room at night, telling her that he loves her and to have a good night. It's like he's constantly on edge about something, but nobody can figure out what.

"I'm worried that he's driving himself crazy," Cressida murmurs, turning back to face James who has his elbows braced on the counter opposite her. "Do you think I should talk to him about it?"

James moves his shoulders up and down, his lips pressing inwards. "Might be an idea. It clearly has something to do with you." His words stop unnaturally short, and Cressida notes the soft shift in his expression. "Do you think he's not gay?"

"What?" Of course he's gay, he told them so himself. "Yes, he definitely likes men."

James quickly shakes his head, fixing his words. "No, I mean, we know he's into men but maybe he's also into women. You know, both?"

Cressida understands what he's trying to say, but fails to see any relevance to where their conversation had been going, or where he's trying to lead it to. For the sake of wanting to understand him more, she says, "Maybe. But, he's never really shown interest in girls."

"He's never shown interest in any men either," James points out, tilting his head forward. Cressida tips her own head to the side, thinking over that observation. When Sirius had confessed to her, a lot began to make sense, but she hadn't thought about that side of things. He really hadn't shown interest in anybody. But maybe that's just because of the stigma, and he's become so used to hiding it that he still doesn't bring up that topic with them. James saunters around the counter while she's in thought until he stands next to her, the small of his back pressing against the counter whilst she sits on a stool. "Maybe it's because he does have feelings for someone but he's not telling us."

"Maybe," Cressida repeats softly. "I really don't know, James."

"I think I do." James' head is tilted down to point at her, but his eyes are sharp and narrowed, still lingering over Sirius' head. "I think…" His breath is heavy through his nose and his jaw twitches around. "I think he might have feelings for you."

Cressida chokes on her tea, the hot liquid hitting the side of her throat in a painful manner. The mug is quickly taken away from her and placed aside, a hand laying on her back while she coughs out the feeling. "James," she laughs quietly, "no. No."

The boy next to her, however, isn't laughing. "It would make sense," he mutters, a hand slowly rubbing her back while his eyes still linger on Sirius. "He's gotten overly protective. He's always around you now. Went berserk when you weren't here. Not to mention now he goes into your room every night to tell you that he loves you." Cressida shakes her head silently. She just couldn't believe that. "Come on," James sighs, now with a mocking laugh. "Sirius would have never said that before. And you're moving in with each other."

If Cressida could take anything from his ramblings, she would guess that James is jealous. Which is an odd thought, because James has never been jealous of Sirius in any way, shape, or form before. "I'm moving in with him because I need a home that I can call my own," she draws out with a firm tone. "He's gay, and he even said he didn't like women."

"He hesitated to say that," James adds. "'And girls sometimes' he said."

"Then he corrected himself and said only men," Cressida counters.

"Maybe to hide the fact that he had feelings for you."

"Or maybe because he was confused. Neither of us can begin to imagine how he must have been feeling. He probably said it, so he felt like he was sounding at least a little bit more normal but then remembered it was us he was talking to."

James grumbles under his breath, turning his head away to look out a small window to the right instead. Cressida smiles to herself, not enjoying the confusion when it comes to their mutual friend, but knowing that James is riled up about the thought of Sirius having feelings for her is at least a little entertaining.

"James," she calls. It takes a moment, but he turns his head back around. Cressida slides from the stool, picking up her mug. "Thank you for the tea." She leans forward, a hand lifting to his cheek and her lips pressing against the other. "I love it when you make it for me."

She leans back but keeps her hand on his cheek. He smiles to the ground, almost bashful. James Potter bashful? What a day to be alive. "I like making it for you," he says. "I'm glad you let me now."

"You make them too nice for me to resist." Her hand slides off his face to pinch an invisible block in the air. "Little bit more milk next time though."

Her teasing tone and expression are enough that he knows immediately that she is messing with him. He scoffs, knocking her hand out of the air. "I won't put any in next time."

Cressida plays on his threat. "No, you won't. You can't stand the thought of making tea taste horrible, and you know I like milk." He tries to hold a glare that tells her to believe him but he soon falls to her innocent grin and Cressida laughs, wrapping her hand under his arm to curve over his shoulder, the tips of her fingers facing herself and rests her cheek on the spot.

He sighs theatrically to give in to her, his arm lifting as much as it can to lay over the low of her back. "Do you want a movie night tonight? Father saw the contraption that Remus brings over and he went and bought one so now we don't have to wait for Moony."

"Sure," she smiles. "Did you buy any movies to go with it though?"

James breathes in sharply. "Oh boggart," he breathes through a mournful chuckle. "No. I think Remus might have left one or two here from last year, should we go have a look?"

Xx

They had found two films laying around the newly dubbed movie room. 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail' or 'Jaws'. Having already seen both, Cressida quickly tossed Monty Python aside, knowing the two pureblooded boys would be lost on its humour. Though Jaws isn't the best option either, sharks eating people is simple enough to understand.

As the beginning of the movie starts playing, Sirius takes his normal spot on the very left end of the lounge and as James makes them popcorn on the stove, Cressida quickly takes the time to write to Elias. She doesn't know where he is, but she is hoping that sending it to his home address would find him sooner or later. Just as she is signing off on her name, leant over on a nearby desk, she is suddenly lifted from the ground by a pair of arms snaked around her stomach.

The quill drops from her hand, the last 'a' of her name ending in a weird drop until the ink runs out. "Ah-hey!"

"Movie time," James announces loudly over her shoulder, hauling her towards the lounge. "You can finish the letter later."

The tips of her toes drag along the floor, her head flung back against his shoulder as laughter pours from her mouth. "I was finished!" she cries. "You only had to wait two more seconds."

"Then you'd miss two seconds of the movie," he counters with an all-knowing tone.

"I missing more than two seconds from your bickering," Sirius drawls, eyes trained on the screen.

Cressida smiles and rolls her eyes but she hates speaking through movies so she sympathises with him on that note. James lets her down on the couch then sits down between her and Sirius. Her eyes tighten, glancing between the pair as she realises that perhaps it wasn't about missing the movie that he brought her over for. Perhaps it was about where she decided to sit. It is rather ridiculous, and perhaps a little petty, but who is she to judge? So, with a big, fat smile on her face, Cressida melds into the lounge and rests her head on his shoulder.

As the movie plays on, she begins to remember how tense some of the scenes are. Her nose shrivels up, turning her head away so she wouldn't have her nerves build up so much. "Dumbasses," Sirius mutters every now and then.

She can feel the side of James' hand pressing against her, his pinkie stretching out ever so slightly to sit on her leg. Does she want to take it? Yes. But should she? How could anybody give her the answer except her future self? With all this debating going on in her head, she completely forgets that he has the ability to move as well.

While her mind was focused on something subtle, the boy next to her clearly thinks the opposite way. James falls deeper into his seat, leaning back against the cushioning more and though his hand lifts away from hers, it reaches out behind them to become a comfortable weight on her shoulders. It is a peacock display. But she can live with that. Cressida's knees pull inwards to her chest then fall to the side, pressing on top of his thigh. They stay like that for a while, completely comfortable with the presence of each other. But there could be more.

Eyeing off Sirius' very still body as the final, and the most intense scene plays, a deviant smirk caresses her cheeks. So slowly that she may as well be unnoticeable (Drax), Cressida leans over James, an arm snaking over him and along the couch. His arm drops from her shoulder, coming to rest instead on the belt around her jeans as her body looms over his.

Just as the music drums louder and louder, and Sirius' eyes are growing wide, Cressida's hand forms a claw and she snaps out to latch onto his arm.

His yelp is unmatchable. "Fuck you!" he shrieks, slapping her hand away as the final scene plays through. Cressida cackles, eyes taking the time to enjoy his reaction – which is a grumpy expression and incoherent mumbling – but her body is tuned into something else entirely. The feel of James' torso moving with his soft and airy chuckles and the tips of his fingers gliding underneath her shirt to tickle her skin. The slight adjustments he makes underneath her bring them closer together. Leaning back up, her back presses against his chest, arms coming to rest over his legs.

Cressida can live with this.