Chapter 107: Wednesday, July 31, 2002
"The worst part of holding a memory is not the pain of it. It's the loneliness of it. Memories are meant to be shared."
-Lois Lowry
"Hermione."
Hermione rolled over, batting her hands at the source of the sound that dared to disturb the first bit of decent sleep she had gotten in weeks.
"Hermione…"
"Unghh."
"Hermione, wake up, love."
Slowly, she blinked her heavy eyes open. Instantly, she was met with the mossy green stare she had missed the last several mornings. Remus was pressed against her, pushing her hair from her face and pressing light kisses to the apples of her cheeks.
"I don't want to," Hermione whined, pulling the pillow out from beneath her head to cover her face, not before gently smacking Remus with it.
"It's Harry's birthday," Remus chuckled. "And I have yet to spend a proper birthday with him. I thought we could sneak into Hogsmeade and find him a gift."
"You want to sneak into Hogsmeade and shop for Harry," Hermione repeated, her voice scratchy from sleep.
"Well, yes." Remus answered, "But, I think you should know that everyone else has left early this morning..."
Hermione scrunched her face up under the pillow, her interest piqued. "Where've they gone?"
"Blaise and Harry have gone to the safehouse Blaise's mum is in for breakfast. I'm not sure where everyone else has gone—Luna mentioned something about plimpies being in season and dragged Ron and Neville out. I think Seamus and George are out planning something for later."
Hermione let out a muffled hum, still refusing to pull her head out from under the pillow. One of Remus' hands snaked under the pillow to cup her cheek. She snuggled deeper into the mattress, turning her face to press a light kiss to the inside of his wrist.
"And, well I thought…it's...well, It's been a while since we've had any privacy or spent any time together, hasn't it?"
With that, He shifted forward and Hermione felt the hard outline of his length against her outside of her thigh. Slowly, a smile spread across her face as she pulled her head out from beneath the pillow.
"Are you suggesting we make the most out of our very limited private time?" Hermione asked, feeling heat creep onto her cheeks.
"I am suggesting we utilize this very rare alone time, yes." Remus confirmed, rocking against her again.
Hermione turned on her side to face him, moving closer to press her torso against his. She brought her leg up, slinging it over his hip and pressed a kiss against the underside of his chin.
"I suppose," she whispered, her lips brushing against the stubble. "If you're insisting that we make the most of—"
"I am, fuck, yes," Remus breathed, his hand running up her spine. "I am absolutely insisting."
His chin angled down, allowing his lips to slant over hers in a languid kiss. Hermione sighed against his lips, breathing him in as he flicked his tongue against her bottom lip before delving into her mouth. His tongue roamed against the ridges of her teeth before she pulled away, her face pinched. Remus let out a disgruntled sound of objection.
"I haven't brushed my teeth yet," she explained.
Remus chuckled, "I honestly could not give a shit less," he pressed a kiss against her jaw. "You've kissed me after a full moon, and I know that isn't particularly pleasant."
"It'll take only a minute," Hermione said.
"If you move from this bed, I will follow you into the loo."
Hermione laughed and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips, "Okay, compromise then."
She twisted over, feeling around on the small table next to the bed for her wand and muttering a quick freshening charm and a contraception charm for good measure.
"Presumptuous," Remus teased.
"Oh, I'm sorry—did you not want to take care of this?" Hermione answered, shoving her hand between them to palm his erection through his pyjama bottoms.
Remus took in a sharp breath and his lips made home on the bit of delicate skin beneath her ear before he whispered, "I certainly would like to take care of that."
"Well, then," Hermione wriggled her hips, letting out a quiet moan as his teeth scraped against her neck. "I suggest you allow me my presumptions."
Remus let out a low growl against her skin, his hands snaking around to land on her backside, squeezing the rounded muscle and pulling her closer to him. He gripped the waistband of her pyjama shorts and tugged at them, cursing under his breath when they bunched up and refused to pull down.
"Take these bloody things off," Remus breathed.
"I'll have to move," Hermione teased, pulling her leg from its place on his hip and shoving the shorts and her knickers down her thighs, kicking them off the end of bed. Remus followed, roughly shoving his own pyjamas off before pulling her back against him, his mouth instantly attached to hers.
It was pure bliss, kissing Remus. It seemed to be the only time Hermione could shut her brain off and lose focus on something other than the hellscape they had found themselves in for a while. And, admittedly, she hadn't done it nearly enough since he had appeared back in her life. As their lips moved together, she realized with a bit of guilt that she had severely neglected her own physical needs as well as Remus'. With the ambushes, research, Justin...there just didn't seem to be time to find a bit of privacy.
Of course, they had had the occasional shower fumble and a bit of foreplay beneath the duvet at night, but she couldn't remember the last time she had just let herself be lost in the feel of him kissing her.
"Fuck, I've missed kissing you," Remus whispered against her lips, as if reading her mind.
"Mmm," Hermione hummed in agreement, flicking her tongue against his and sinking further into his embrace.
Remus wrapped his arms tightly around her, holding her in place against the lean muscle of his chest. One hand pressed to the dip of her lower back and one sank into the curls on the nape of her neck, his fingers scraping lightly against her skin. She could feel his cock twitch against her inner thigh as he rocked his hips forward slightly, the tip of him brushing gently against her core.
The hand splayed across Hermione's lower back began to travel south, over her bum and pushing her thigh up a few inches to rest on the curve of his waist. He swept the back of his knuckles lightly over her folds, a low rumble emitting from his throat as pulled back, dislodging his tongue from its comfortable pace inside her mouth.
Just as she made to complain—protest the idea of his mouth being anywhere but attached to her lips—he attacked her jaw with a scrape of his teeth, dragging his tongue over the bite and sucking a kiss into the side of her throat. His hand left its place behind her to surge between them, the tips of his fingers pressing against her clit.
"Oh," Hermione moaned, wrapping her arms around his neck, holding his head to the juncture of her throat and collar bone as he continued to lavish the skin with nipping kisses.
She could feel the heat between her thighs aching with need for more than the taunting, fluttering touch Remus was insistent upon. She loosened her arms from around his neck to sink a hand between their bodies, covering Remus' hand with her own and pressing down. Remus let out a soft chuckle that turned to a low groan as she rolled her hips against their hands.
She guided his hand, pressing firm against her clit in small circular swipes. Finally, he moved lower, allowing her to keep the rhythm against the sensitive nub as he pushed a finger into her entrance, crooking it up to stroke her from within.
Hermione let out a moan as Remus pumped his finger, her own hand stilling against her as she arched her back. Just as her breathing began to hitch, the coil sitting low in her belly tightening from Remus' ministrations, he removed his hand from her. She nearly cried from the loss of contact, opening her mouth to ask what was wrong before feeling the head of his cock swipe through her folds a few times as he lined himself up and pushed forward.
Slowly, he sank into her, with a low groan and a squeeze of the back of her neck from the hand she had pinned beneath her. She could feel her chest grow warm with magic, the tether between them seeming to strengthen every time they connected primally. The mark on the back of her neck tingling beneath his grip. Distantly, she wondered if the strengthened magic meant anything, if their cores could survive something heinous that were they not joined, they otherwise wouldn't have.
Just as her mind began to latch onto the theory, it was blown far away by a sharp thrust as Remus rocked hard into her. Hermione's head fell back as he moved his hand from where they were joined between them to grip her hip, his fingers digging into the skin. They moved slowly, languorous. Rocking their hips together as they clung to one another and whispered sighs of praise.
"More," she breathed, needing more than what the torturously slow pace was providing. "Remus, please!"
"Turn—turn over," Remus grit out, planting a wet kiss against the corner of her mouth.
He pulled out of her, guiding her onto her stomach and covering her back with his body, pushing her knees apart with his before sinking back into her. She moaned, his hands gripping her hips and pulled her halfway onto her knees, her chest still pressed to the thin mattress, her head pillowed in the crook of her folded arms.
Remus began to pick up the pace, pumping into her from behind as her hands twisted into the sheets, her fingers clenching and unclenching in the fabric. With every thrust into her, every slap of skin, she cried out.
"Fuck, Remus. God, yes!" Hermione nearly shouted, pushing up onto her hands to meet his thrusts.
"Jesus—fuck! Christ, Hermione," Remus growled, doubling down his efforts and pounding harder into her.
Just as the band inside her began to snap, she heard a second clapping of skin and a loud laugh. Her eyes blew wide open as she twisted around to see Draco and Ginny standing in the doorway, Ginny stifling a laugh with her hand and Draco smirking as he applauded.
"Well done! You're both quite vocal aren't you? Although, I can say without a doubt that Lupin's arse this early in the morning was not something I needed to make myself privy to," Draco said, laughter shaking his shoulders.
"This early in the morning?" Ginny asked, laughter shaking her voice. "Does that mean if it wasn't morning you would be privy to seeing Remus' arse?"
"Get out!" Hermione and Remus both shouted.
Remus folded himself over Hermione, flattening her against the bed while he grabbed a pillow and whipped it behind him.
"Lupin's got form," Draco shrugged, sniggering into his hand as the pillow missed him and hit the door frame. "Not my fault."
"For Merlin's sake, get out!" Hermione shrieked, desperately attempting to cover them both with the blanket that was pinned beneath her.
Hermione buried her reddened face in her arms as loud laughter echoed from down the hall, Draco's voice carrying to say "Colloportus exists for a reason, Granger!"
Remus pulled himself from behind her and flopped down next to her on the bed, his chest still rapidly rising and falling as he worked the blanket over them.
"Well, bit of a mood kill, that."
"Bit," Hermione parroted, with a sarcastic tone. She rolled over onto her back and covered her face with her hands. "Oh God, Remus, I'm so embarrassed!" She peeked out from behind her fingers to see Remus staring at her, his weight propped up on his elbow and his head in his hand.
"Yeah, definitely not the best thing that could have happened just now," he agreed, his cheeks turning red. "I suppose it could have been worse, though."
"Could have been…" Hermione dropped her hands from her face and sat up, looking down at him in disbelief. "Who are you, and what have you done with Remus Lupin?"
Remus laughed and collapsed backward, reaching out to pull her down onto his chest. "It could have been Harry."
"Honestly, I'd be okay if it was Harry. We lived together in a tent for months and we've lived together since. It wouldn't be the first time he's seen me naked."
Remus arched an eyebrow, an amused glint in his eye. "We might revisit that later," he chuckled. "Okay then...it could have been Molly."
"Oh God," Hermione breathed out, eyes wide. "Okay, you're right. Molly would have been much, much worse."
He barked out a laugh as she reached for her wand again, this time casting a locking and silencing charm before straddling his hips and leaning in to brush her lips against his.
"Where were we?"
Remus pulled his oven mitts off, tossing them onto the counter and smiled down at the perfect treacle tart as wafts of sweet smelling steam filled the air. Harry had been adamant that he wasn't Malfoy and absolutely did not want a fuss made about his birthday, but Remus had an itch to bake and he had it on good authority that treacle tart was Harry's favourite.
"Thought I smelled something lovely," Harry's voice carried in from the doorway.
"It's just a treacle tart," Remus waved him off, with a small smile. "Least I could do."
"I know exactly what that is," Harry beamed. "And, really, you didn't need to do anything. I'm not much of a birthday person, if I'm being honest."
Remus hummed in acknowledgment, nodding as he pulled his apron off and began to tidy the counter. "Me either."
"Well that isn't true!"
"Isn't it?"
"Not at all," Harry said, stepping further into the kitchen to help with the clean up. "You made Malfoy that fancy french cake—"
"Dacquoise."
"Right," Harry nodded. "And Hermione told me you set up lovely birthdays for her and everyone else while she was with you. So, you obviously like birthdays."
Remus stopped scrubbing the bowl in his hands and looked over his shoulder at Harry before shrugging and dipping the dish back into the soapy water, "Okay. I just...don't care much for mine, then."
"Which," Harry began, taking the dripping bowl from Remus' hands and drying it with a tea cloth before setting it to the side. "Is absolutely ridiculous. You're aware of that, aren't you?"
"Why's it ridiculous? You don't like your birthday."
"True. But, I didn't have great birthdays for a long time, did I? And then, when I finally got out of that house in time to properly celebrate a birthday—my seventeenth, actually—it was gate crashed by the Minister for Magic and he was trying to recruit me to lie to the people."
Remus dunked another, smaller, bowl into the water and took a sidelong glance at Harry. "What do you mean you didn't have good birthdays before that?"
"Well, I lived with the Dursley's, didn't I? Not sure if you ever had the pleasure of meeting my mum's sister and her husband—"
Remus wrinkled up his nose in disgust. "I had."
Harry laughed, "Then you see why it wasn't a very pleasant experience. I got a pair of old socks and a coat hanger just before I went to Hogwarts...I think that was the only birthday gift I can remember getting from them."
Remus frowned, his hands stilling beneath the warm suds again. "They did what?"
Harry shrugged, holding his hand out, waiting for the bowl. "It doesn't matter."
"No," Remus shook his head, abandoning the task altogether to turn and face Harry. "No, it does matter." He felt anger begin to bubble up inside his chest, spilling out in the form of heat across his neck and creeping up to the tips of his ears. He grit his teeth and shook his head. "It does matter, Harry."
"I don't see why. At least, not anymore. Maybe when I was a kid, it mattered. But, now? Well, I have all of you, now. All the love I could ever want is right here in this Shack. I don't need a decade worth of birthdays I barely remember to enjoy myself."
"That's not the point," Remus insisted. "You shouldn't have had to deal with that! I should have—"
"And you shouldn't have been bitten by a werewolf as a child, but here we are," Harry retorted.
"It's not the same! That wasn't my fault and—"
"And me having to grow up with Vernon, Petunia, and Dudley was?" Harry stared at him, unblinking, with brows raised into his hairline.
"I could have done something."
Harry snorted and Remus took a step back, feeling rather affronted. "Remus, mate, no offence, but I'm fairly certain there's nothing you could have done. I've heard what happened that night more times than I care to admit and everything I've been told—from Hermione, from Hagrid, Dumbledore, Sirius...even you...there's nothing you could have done." Harry shrugged and stepped closer to the sink, pulling the stopper out and watching the water drain down.
"I could have been there for you," Remus whispered. "Why wasn't I there for you?"
Harry pushed out a slow, deep breath. "Honestly? I don't know. I think I asked, once, maybe? I don't know, I might have thought of asking and never did...but, out of all the people I could possibly blame for how things turned out…" Harry looked up from the dying bubbles that rested against the porcelain of the sink, meeting Remus' gaze. "You have never been one of them."
Remus felt his eyes sting and blinked rapidly a few times, clearing his throat before speaking. "I was there the day you were born, did you know?"
Harry shook his head, waiting for Remus to continue.
Remus gave a weak smile and cleared his throat, "Lily—your mum—she went into labour at an Order meeting. Thought she had slept wrong and her back was aching. When her water broke, she thought she pissed herself—"
At that, Harry let out a loud laugh and leaned against the counter. Remus chuckled and shook his head fondly.
"God, James...he was a right mess, absolutely manic. He and Sirius carried her to the Floo… Hermione and I apparated to St. Mungo's shortly after. It took a few hours and Lily actually threw James out of the delivery room."
"She banished him?" Harry chuckled, "What for?"
"We weren't allowed in, but knowing James I'm sure he was trying to help but in a very annoying way."
Harry laughed again, "Go on then, what else happened that day?"
"Did you know that your dad and Sirius were convinced you were going to be a girl?"
"A girl? Why on earth...I mean, I do prefer blokes but, given how bad I am at divination, I'm not sure they would have predicted that in-utero. I didn't even really know until me and Hermione decided to just give it a go to say we had done it and—"
"You and Hermione...wait. You're the bloke she had her first with?" Remus' eyebrows shot up and he started to laugh, "Oh my God, I'm an idiot. She told Sirius her first time was with her best friend in a tent and left it at that and I never...that's why you've seen her naked."
Harry looked at Remus, his brows pulled together as his mouth opened and shut a few times, trying to figure out what to say. "Yes—I mean, I've lived with her a few years now so, I've seen her nude a fair handful of times but...does this have something to do with Malfoy and Ginny walking in on you two this morning? He said you've got form and—not to make things weird— but, because you're my friend and I think you deserve to know, you're rather fit. So, good on you, mate."
Remus groaned as he brought a hand up to scrub at his face, feeling absolutely embarrassed. "How did we get here? Why are we revisiting a fucking mortifying moment from this morning?"
Harry doubled over with laughter, swiping a finger under his glasses to remove the tear that had spilled out. "Sorry, sorry. Go on! You were talking about the day I was born."
Remus huffed and shook his head, "Right. Yeah. So, your dad was convinced you were a girl."
"What would they have named me? Do you know?"
He nodded, "James wanted to call you Euphemia—after his mum," Harry crinkled up his nose at that. "But, Lily said she knew you were a boy. She called it 'women's intuition' or something. However, she had said she thought the name Ashley sounded nice."
"Ashley Potter? That doesn't even sound right."
"That's exactly what James said!" Remus laughed, "Lily chose Harry though, after James' Granddad—your great granddad."
"Much more fitting, if I do say so myself," Harry nodded in approval.
"Yes, I should think so."
Harry leaned a hip against the counter, "So, mum went into labour, dad was thrown out of the room and then what?"
"Well, it was just a lot of waiting around with James' knees bouncing a million miles a minute. We took bets on whether or not you were a girl. Sirius lost, obviously. Had to do my washing for a week and gave me ten galleons," Remus smiled as Harry laughed again.
"You were gorgeous though, truly." Remus swallowed thickly, "All that hair and eyes that took up your whole face. I had never held a baby before but…" he trailed off, shifting his weight from foot to foot.
"Is it weird, talking about it to me?" Harry asked.
Remus nodded, "A bit, yeah. I thought our dynamic would be much different. Uncle Moony and all that. And now, well, we're the same age and it's...it's fucking bizarre. Wrappin' my head around it, I mean."
"I imagine it is. I mean, it's strange for me too, but in a different way," Harry admitted.
"How so?"
"I first knew you as my Professor, you know? And then I learned you had known my mum and dad, although it wasn't until much later you admitted how close you had actually been with them. I just thought you were schoolmates, didn't realize you had been proper friends with them. Like...like me, Ron, and Hermione are."
Remus let loose a slow breath, "The first time Hermione held you, she apologized, did she tell you that?"
Harry shook his head, "No. She hasn't talked much about anything that happened while she was gone, aside from Order stuff and you."
Remus hummed, shoving his hands into his pockets. "She kissed your forehead, right where your scar is actually, and apologized. I don't think she knew I heard her and to be honest, it didn't really make sense to me at the time. But, I think I understand it now."
Harry swallowed, his head bobbing a few times as a sad, knowing smile tugged at his lips. "You've got that in common, you and Hermione. Always apologizing for things that aren't your fault."
"I won't say I should have done something again—"
"Good," Harry interrupted. "Because it's getting rather tired."
Remus snorted, "I won't say I should have… But, I wish I could have been there."
Harry reached out, giving Remus' bicep a squeeze in acknowledgement before taking a step back and clapping his hands together. "Now that we've got that out of the way, you plan on dishing out that treacle tart or…?"
Remus let out a watery laugh, nodding his head as he pulled a knife to dish up the tart.
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a/n: Hey everyone, thanks for reading! also, thank you SO MUCH for all the birthday wishes! I had a lovely day, and I appreciate you guys so dang much! 3
I hope you enjoyed this lighter chapter! I had a lot of fun writing it haha
xo
mimi
