Elsa startled awake, the cool night's breeze trickling in through a partially open window. She heard ringing in her ears fade with a melodic hum, the sound uncanny and sending shivers over her skin. She moved to pull her blanket back over her thin frame, but a weight prevented her from doing so with ease, and she saw Anna in the moonlight, twisted up in the covers and her snoring visage bringing both joy and apprehension to Elsa's similar-featured face.
Elsa arose from bed, taking hold of her mother's burgundy shawl, a relic recently discovered when performing a thorough cleanse of the late king and queen's room; a project years in the making yet too sore to indulge in until weeks prior. It brought Elsa comfort in the face of anxiety, and although she thought she had tackled the worst of her fears quite some time ago in the form of not only her sexuality, but her romantic feelings for the same young woman who was called her sister, Elsa's night terrors were becoming more and more frequent, this very occasion not foreign to her anymore.
It was strange for, with the Nattmara's horrid existence quelled, and Elsa's acknowledgment of her own contained fears in relation to ruling Arendelle dealt with, the queen thought for certain she would finally feel perfect tranquility with her life and sleep. How many more trials would she be forced to overcome?
Firstly, Queen Elsa had to come to terms with her powers.
Then, her feelings for Anna.
Thirdly, Devil had antagonised her into near-self destruction.
After that, Elsa was forced to choose between Anna and Arendelle.
Peace was found following such traumatic events, thankfully, but only a couple of years passed before a blight and seemingly mythological being in the form of Nattmara threatened all of Arendelle anew, leaving it up to Elsa and Anna to go on yet another adventure to save their home and everyone in it.
Was it too much to ask for some normality following such a chain of fantastical events?
Elsa stepped onto her patio, knowing she didn't necessarily have to be overly quiet but doing so anyway. She hugged her mother's shawl tighter around her body, staring into the clear night sky and seeing the stars flicker about, reminding her of just how small she really was when considering the true scope of the world around her. It brought her perspective, really, and that helped.
Still, the night before had proven somewhat complicated, and Elsa supposed she was thankful Anna was still willing to share a bed with her after what had occurred.
A discomfort shot through Elsa at the thought, but she shook it away, hating the notion and ashamed with how she had treated the girl she had, against all permissible odds, fallen in love with.
Yes. Queen Elsa of Arendelle loved Princess Anna of Arendelle. It was the best kept secret in the kingdom, and perhaps the world. However, due to the nature of their relationship, and the obvious moral complexities involved, the sisters were forced to keep their love completely and utterly hidden from anyone save themselves in the privacy of their shared bedchamber. So muffled was their affection, rumours began circulating that it was but a farce to begin with. A grand ruse to evade potential suitors and marriage, never mind talks of an heir.
This, of course, seemed ludicrous to Elsa, for no matter how much time passed, how could any forget the events surrounding Elsa discovering her love for Anna? They both had proclaimed it loudly for all of Arendelle. Devil had made sure of that. Unsurprisingly, Arendelle as a whole had rejected the truth lay before it, and just when Elsa and Anna had committed to starting new lives together elsewhere, the people had decided to tentatively tolerate what the sisters had under a number of commitments both Elsa and Anna hadn't failed to follow through with.
Yet, it couldn't be denied that Arendelle almost as a whole was progressively beginning to treat Elsa and Anna as always, as if the crazed relationship had never existed to begin with.
It was strange, but Elsa assumed it was for the better. She held on to this belief firmly until last night when, for almost the sixth evening in a row, Anna kissed her goodnight and a white-hot pain shot through Elsa's chest, causing her to verbally grunt in agony, breaking away from a dreadfully confused Anna.
The sisters, after a brief moment of reconciliation, had drifted to sleep in eventuality, but as Elsa stood before Arendelle in the night, her mother's shawl flapping in the light breeze, she wondered for the millionth time what her parents would think of her. Of the love she had given herself up for. Of the love she had exposed Anna to, changing the sweet, innocent princess of Arendelle's life forever.
No answer came from the night enveloping Arendelle. There was no point in thinking of judgement that would ever come to pass either, yet Elsa wanted it. Even if her parents hated her for what her emotions had led her to, she felt like a liar for hiding it from them. Had they known? Could they have ever guessed Elsa would harbour such unnatural, twisted feelings? Elsa had not a clue until she honestly began to consider what romantic love could be for her. The "Suitor Games", as Anna so affectionately called the process of selecting a potential husband from ten bachelors across the kingdoms, made Elsa think about love in more than a familial way. Even she could never have guessed she hardly saw a difference between the love one should have for their sibling and the love reserved for a partner in life.
Always an outsider. Ever the anomaly. And now, Anna had been dragged down with her.
Elsa remained on the patio for another hour or so, gripping the cool stone carved into majesty and looking from star to star, as if they might have the answers.
Ringing returned to Elsa's brain, but it was a strange form of irritation, almost a melody hiding within the way her head groaned. Was it her body's way of telling her to return to bed? The queen of Arendelle could hardly rule a kingdom if she was nodding off during the many meetings awaiting her. Always waiting…
The expectations never ended, and if not for Anna, Elsa was certain she would have lost her sanity performing such a role for those around her. The Nattmara revealed just how large of a burden being queen weighed on Elsa, and although she had tucked that wicked side of herself away in the form of a tiny ice crystal, it was beginning to manifest in a different way.
Elsa sighed. Perhaps she was being melodramatic out of boredom. But that concerned her as well. She should be happy. She had fought so hard for this moment in her life, when she needn't hold anything back, yet now she felt a new kind of itch, and it terrified her to acknowledge that this strange discomfort in her bones meant what she suspected it might.
'I am happy.' Elsa muttered softly, but the ringing in her mind only sang louder, her hands tightening around the patio and frost forming where the queen touched.
Elsa turned away from the darkness, feeling it affecting her fragile mood, and returned to her and Anna's room, looking upon the girl she knew, without a doubt, she loved. That wasn't the problem. Not even close. Yet…
'Mum…mm…' Anna grunted, sucking in a quick inhale of air and turning again, twisting herself even more hopelessly within the covers.
There was no purpose in dwelling on such matters further. The late night had a way of torturing Elsa's heart and mind. She knew this. The absolute best thing she could do was return to sleep.
Elsa placed her mother's shawl back upon her vanity table's chair and crawled into bed with her sister, mercilessly pulling at the blankets until she could be under them with Anna, wrapping her hands around her wonderful sister's slender frame and holding her tight, a warmth instantly filling her soul. She would focus on that same warmth, ignoring the ringing in her mind returning and the imaginary static building between their bodies.
It wasn't real. It couldn't be real.
