Note: Idea borrowed (totally stolen) from "Please stop eating the hell butterflies" by Mistress Nika

Rating: Playfully testing the limits of what "Rated T" means.

Disclaimer: Absolute crack. Dark humor is imminent.

Pairing: nothing serious, unless it gets really, really, funny.


Upper command wants to congratulate the commander for finally achieving the greatest fleet in the world's history! all ships currently available in the Azur Lane program now fall under his jurisdiction.

In response to this achievement, a team of professionals have been dispatched to report any surprising or unusual means of operation within his grand fleet. After all, we could all learn from such an obviously talented and intelligent admiral!

The report was received a week later with the conclusion.

"How in the hell did this guy ever receive a rank?!"

Suffice to say, it was a miracle the ships haven't killed each other, yet.

To combat the ineffective operations within the fleet, the commander has been ordered to reprimand his ships for any obstructive behavior. The first step in doing so is the writing of a missive, calling out every ship girl who partakes in these indecencies.

These missives will be made once a week, for everyone shipgirl within the naval base to see.

Now that everyone's behavior became known to the entire fleet, anarchy appropriately ensued.