Chapter 14

Elena

This was the longest night of my life. The uncertainty, the fear and the nagging thoughts kept me up. Scared to close my eyes, I just laid there, staring at the ceiling, re-evaluating all the life choices that brought me here.

When you're high off adrenaline and when the cards are laid out on the table, the first thing that pops into your mind is the force that secretly drove all the decisions that you've ever made. Suddenly, you have the answer to all your questions. And just like that, you know what you want out of life or more crucially, what you don't want.

Hearing the words hospital and Damon in the one sentence blurred my vision. I didn't want to break down in front of Caroline, but then again, I suspected that she knew more than she let on when it came to Damon and I. Tears were spilling down my cheeks, my hands turned clammy and I had one foot out the door, determined to get to Damon right away. Then, the reality of the situation grew brutally apparent.

I was stuck in Baltimore, without a car, and with no knowledge of which hospital he was at. I had no choice but to wait until the morning. We were supposed to leave for New York at eight, which meant that we'd get there before mid-day. Maybe that was for the best, that way I'd have some time to get my emotions under control, right? Fooling myself was a game that I played way too often. I guess that I liked being oblivious to what was going on around me.

Using the time to think of what I'd do and say once I got there would have been a good start, but the more I tried to concentrate on the task, the less sense it made. All I wanted to know was that Damon was okay. I needed to see his face, hear his voice, and then I'd be gone.

I'd move on with my life, and let Damon move on with his - but I needed him to be okay, otherwise nothing else mattered.

That left one last thing, which involved swallowing my pride. It would also inevitably lead to an uncomfortable conversation with Caroline, but that was a price that I was willing to pay. She was the only means to find out which hospital Damon was at.

I could deal with the backlash later, but as of now it didn't matter what my best friend thought of me. She could call me a homewrecker, immoral or delusional; there was a whole sea of labels to choose from, neither one of which I could contest.

And I was fine with that.

That was how I ended up at the hospital, about to enter the elevator. The receptionist was a sucker for my tears, accepting the mediocre lie that I was Damon's sister. Without pressing any further questions, she told me which room he was in, and I was off on my way before she could finish the sentence. My fingers impatiently drummed against the side of my leg as the elevator shot up. Every second dragged painfully slow.

Jeremy dropped me off here on our way back. He didn't pry too much, and I didn't divulge any information either, making it abundantly clear that I had something important to do. The puffy red eyes and dark circles might have given me away, but even if Jeremy saw any reasons not to believe me, he did his best not to give them away. For that, I was grateful.

Finally, I heard a loud ping and the doors slid open. I stepped into the corridor, eyes glancing all around trying to figure out which direction to take. I was instantly reminded of the fact that I hated being in hospitals. There was something about the smell and the overall feeling of sadness that they brought on.

I took the first left which led me down a narrow hall, and then I noticed a silver plaque on the wall, which confirmed that I was in the right place. I was approaching rooms 200-210 and going off the information that they gave me at the front desk, Damon was in room 207.

My chest tightened with each step as the familiar state of anxiousness officially returned. For some reason, the awareness of what I was about to witness had just crept in and my initial reaction was to panic. How the hell was I going to handle this? But there was no time to think it through. This wasn't about me, so I had to focus.

I stopped right in front of room 207, too scared to look inside but simultaneously itching to parade right in. Slowly, I lifted my gaze and peered in through the glass to be met with the worst sight imaginable. Damon was laying on the hospital bed unconscious, hooked up to a bunch of machines and an IV. He looked pale and fragile and had visible bruises on his face.

I stumbled backwards with a gasp, covering my mouth to keep the noise to a minimum. I couldn't even begin to describe the agony that shot through my body. I knew that he had been in a car accident, but I didn't know how it happened or the extent of his injuries.

Only a few days before I was safe and happy in his arms, even if I wouldn't admit it at the time. It was easier to scream about how much I hated him for breaking my heart, and how much of a mistake we were making getting involved again, than to fess up to what I actually felt for him.

What if there would never be another conversation again? He asked me to stay, to rethink my life, and I told him that I loved Enzo. Would those words go on to haunt me for the rest of my life?

There was also one thing that I overlooked, and that was Damon's wife sitting right by his side, holding his hand. Being the selfish, egoistic idiot that I was, I didn't even consider the heartbreak and turmoil that she must have been going through.

The roams of what Andie would think seeing me here of all people had slipped my mind, until now. I couldn't let her see me, not when I had no explanation to offer, other than the one that screamed 'your husband is the love of my life'. Yes, the use of the present tense was deliberate. I've had plenty of time to dissect my feelings, and I was done with the pretences.

But regardless of how much I wanted to be the one by Damon's side, I didn't have that right. I couldn't do this with Andie being there..

So, I turned and darted out of there like a startled deer, tasting the saltiness on my dry lips and hurriedly wiping away the continuous flood of tears on my way out. Not looking or caring for where I was going, I bumped into someone, nearly knocking them over.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry." I blurted out in between the sniffles and glanced up to see a middle-aged woman staring back at me.

"Elena?" She squinted at me, not caring much for the collision. "What are you doing here?"

"Mrs Salvatore." I breathed out when the realisation hit me. "Uh, I was just… checking. Checking if Damon.. if he was okay?"

I wasn't paying attention to what she said, I was just flat out caught off guard by seeing Damon's mum and feeling an overwhelming need to explain myself.

"Elena, calm down." She nodded with understanding and spoke very softly, seemingly to stop me from spiralling. "Damon is okay, he was in a car accident, but the doctors said that he'll be fine."

I burst into tears as the tension left my body. "Oh, thank God…"

"Did you go inside to see him?" Lily asked but then must have figured that she wouldn't get too much out of me in this state. "Come on, let's go. We'll grab a coffee from the cafeteria, and talk for a bit, okay?" She squeezed my shoulder and walked us towards the elevators.

There wasn't enough energy left in me to protest. In a way, Lily was the closest thing to Damon that I had, and I'd take what I could get. Once we got down to the cafeteria, she sat me down at a table whilst she went to grab us something to drink. I think I heard her ask if I wanted a coffee or tea, but I just nodded absentmindedly.

Damon was going to be fine… Those were the only words that carried any meaning, and that was all that I could think about right now.

"Here you go." Lily was back at the table, handing me a cup. "I wasn't sure what you wanted, so I got you a flat white, hope that's okay?"

Damon's mum was just as sweet and caring as I had remembered, but given the odd circumstances that we were in, it was almost surprising.

"I shouldn't be here, I'm sorry." My voice was barely above a whisper. "But I couldn't stay away, I had to see him.."

"It's okay, sweetie." She gave me a comforting, barely there smile. "There's no need to apologise for the fact that you care about my son. I was terrified when I got the phone call last night, we got down here as fast as we could. He was in surgery when we arrived, and for hours we had no idea what was going on."

There was a strain in Lily's voice as she rehashed the events from last night.

"What happened?" I swallowed nervously.

"A vehicle from the oncoming traffic swerved into Damon's car, the driver lost control, and that's all that we know so far." She teared up. "When I first got the call, I thought that it was something with his heart. I'm always telling him to take things easy, and he never listens, so I convinced myself that this was an episode of some kind." She pulled out a tissue from her purse and held it against her cheek.

"Something with his heart?" I echoed, struggling to keep up.

Lily gave me a questioning look. "Damon has an inherited heart condition, we found out after Giuseppe was taken to the hospital back in Italy and we had the boys go through some medical checks. You didn't know?"

Outside of the conversation that Damon and I had recently, I didn't know all that much. He mentioned that the heart disease could be genetic, but he also said that he was fine, so was that another lie?

"I didn't know about it back then." I confessed, shaking my head. "He told me recently, but I didn't realise that it was this serious."

"He doesn't like to talk about it, given how Giuseppe passed away.." She sighed sadly. "But it's not something that he can ignore. He has to be on medication for the rest of his life and needs to be under the constant care of a doctor to make sure that his heart is in a good shape. That way if something is up, it will give them the chance to act fast."

I hated hearing how much suffering Damon was put through, and how unfair life had been to him. Losing his dad, learning that he had the same heart condition that took Giuseppe away from them, and then living with that fear, not knowing what to expect from each doctor's appointment. That was just a small fraction of his life, how much more was I unaware of?

"I didn't know." I said quietly. "But he will be okay, right?" I asked in search of comfort, diverting back to the accident.

"They said that it was a stroke of luck." Lily confirmed with relief. "They were able to stop the internal bleeding, but it will take some time for him to recover from the surgery. He broke an arm and some ribs, but he'll recover."

Up until now I didn't understand why Lily was being so open with me. I was a mere stranger, a blast from the past. But that was probably what made it okay for her to let the guard down; she saw me as someone that she could be honest with. There was no need to shield me from the pain, I would take whatever there was to take. Whereas when it came to Andie, she had to be strong. There was no need to add to the stress that his wife was going through.

"Thank you for telling me this, you have no idea how much I needed to hear this."

I was almost certain that she did know; all it took was one look to know right away that I was reaching the breaking point. I couldn't even try to hide it.

Lily's faint smile reached her eyes, and she spoke up after a minute. "Damon's important to you, isn't he?"

"Yeah, he is.." I nibbled on the lower lip. "But I know that he's married, and I promise I'm not here to cause any issues."

"And you?" Lily countered. "Damon said that you were engaged."

The fact that Damon spoke with his mother about me was a bit of a newsflash, adding to the already growing pile of questions and things that I did not apprehend.

"It's complicated." I responded quietly. "If you don't mind, could you please not tell Andie that I was here? I don't want her to think that something is going on between Damon and I."

"Is there?" Lily didn't beat around the bush.

I couldn't decipher whether she was angry or simply curious, but since Andie was her daughter-in law, I assumed that it was more likely the first option.

"No." My lips were pressed into a thin line. "Damon is happily married, and I'm well aware of that."

"I'm not accusing you or my son of anything, but it's hard to forget how much you meant to Damon. I've never seen him act that way around anyone else." She observed. "I guess I can't help but think that perhaps seeing you again awoke something inside of him that."

"Nothing happened between Damon and I. We talked and that was it." I cleared my throat and stood up, ready to leave. "I think it's time for me to go. Thank you, Mrs Salvatore. For everything."

"Should I tell him that you visited?"

"It's probably best that he doesn't know." I decided with a shake of the head. "And I'm sorry to hear about Giuseppe, I can't imagine what you had to go through."

We exchanged one last gaze during which I saw the effect that my words had on Lily. Years later the mention of her late husband still brought tears to her eyes.

"Thank you, Elena."


Fleeting the scene had become something of a ritual, a go to response when things got too real. Hearing Lily talk about Damon's feelings for me and wondering whether we relapsed into what we once had was too much to handle.

It wasn't about me not wanting to admit to the kiss or regretting that it happened, that wasn't the case anymore. Since realising the extent of my feelings, I no longer hated myself for giving into the weakness. The relapse was inevitable. But I did hate myself for hurting Andie, albeit she didn't know about it.

I took a cab home from the hospital, not knowing where else to go. I knew that Enzo would be waiting for me to get back, and that we would have to have the talk.

Nothing had changed since the last time that we spoke; things were still off between us, and I'd made up my mind.

"Where have you been?" He asked when I walked through the front door.

He must have heard me fumbling with the keys before I managed to get inside.

"You know where I've been." I sighed tiredly and slid off my trainers as I leaned against the wall.

"I'm talking about this afternoon. Jeremy came to drop off your bags, and he was awfully secretive about where you went."

"Did it ever cross your mind that I didn't tell him where I was going?" I looked at him with a straight face, catching a glimpse of shock flash across his.

I wasn't normally like this, I always cared too much about what other people would think of me, so I kept my composure. Not today though.

"What's gotten into you?" Enzo fired back, following me into the room.

"I don't know where you spent last weekend, or the past two days. But I guess this only works one way?"

I put my phone on the table and unzipped my hoodie, stripping it off me. I could feel him watching me from the corner of my eye, trying to anticipate my next move, but not even I knew what I was going to do or say.

"I have clients all over the country, it's always been a part of my job and you've never had an issue with it before."

It was a classic Enzo move to shift the blame on me, how had I let him get away with that for so long?

"Maybe because you used to take me along with you, remember what that was like?"

He sighed, visibly annoyed with me. "Is this what you wanted to talk to me about? And here I thought this was about something important."

I flinched at the acidity in his voice and the dismissiveness of my feelings. Funny how things like that always seemed to get to me, even when there was nothing out of the ordinary about them.

"The wedding is off."

"What?" Enzo snapped back; eyes creased in the corners. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I don't want to get married to you." I shook my head, feeling the lump in my throat grow. "This isn't working anymore, I'm not happy."

"What the fuck are you talking about? We just put down the deposit for the venue, the invitations have been sent out. And all of a sudden you're not happy?"

"No, not all of a sudden." I corrected him with anger seething inside of me. "You just always blew me off whenever I brought it up."

"Is this about you not getting enough attention? Do you think that stomping your foot is going to help?" He scrutinised me with one, hard look, which made me regret not doing this sooner.

I'd never seen this side of Enzo before. He felt like a completely different person, one that I was afraid of for some reason.

"We're not going to talk with you acting like this." I reached for my phone and wanted to leave, but Enzo stopped me by grabbing my wrist and pulling me against his chest.

"Oh no, you started this, and we're going to finish it."

"Let go of me." I yanked my hand away from his grasp, stepping back. "We're not doing anything until you calm down."

"Alright, I'm sorry." He blew out a small sigh. "Let's not decide anything right now, we both need to take a step back and just think it through. This is our wedding we're talking about, our future together… I still want that, don't you?"

"I don't know what I want anymore." My eyes welled up with tears at the internal conflict.

A part of me wanted to scream yes, but at the same time I also wanted to get the hell out of this apartment, relationship and never come back.

"Do you still love me?"

I nodded my head because that was a no-brainer.

But it wasn't my love for Enzo that was the problem.

"Good, see? We can make this work, Lena." His expression softened. "I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Please tell me that you want that too."

"No, it's not like that. You can't just say those things and expect me to agree." I scoffed. "You just screamed at me for telling you the truth about how I felt, how is that okay?"

"What the hell did you expect me to do, Elena?" He raised his voice again. "Should I be happy that you want to call off our wedding? Did you want me to start jumping up and down at the news?"

"I wanted you to listen! I wanted us to talk about it like adults. But I guess that's just not an option."

"So, talk away, I'm listening." He said coldly, sitting down on the edge of the coffee table, hands folded in his lap. "Tell me how awful I've been and how bad you've had it putting up with me all this time. I'm all ears."

My jaw went slack at his demeanour. "Why are you acting this way?"

"Because clearly you've made up your mind and made me out to be the bad guy." His lips drew back in a snarl. "Never mind the times that we were happy and good together, right?"

"No, that's not what I said." I tried to stand my ground, but this felt like a losing battle to begin with. "I'm not trying to put the blame on you, I get that I am also responsible for this relationship. But the truth is that we haven't been happy in a long time… for whatever reason."

He slammed his fist on the table, causing me to recoil. "Dammit Elena!"

The irritation crackled within me. I didn't handle screaming and arguments all that well, they had a way of keeping me on high alert and my instincts told me to retrieve.

"I think we're done here. I'll sleep somewhere else." I jumped to my feet and headed towards our bedroom, wanting to grab a few of my things.

There was a slim chance of me ever returning to this apartment, but it was impossible to pack up my entire life in five minutes, and I wasn't planning on staying here any longer than that.

"Yeah, where?" Enzo's voice accompanied me on my way. "Is there someone else that you've been fucking, is that why you're so eager to leave?"

I grabbed a suitcase from underneath the bed and threw in whatever I could get my hands on, determined to ignore Enzo and his rude remarks. We'd never been in a fight like this, and I've never seen him so abrasive, which made me question how well I knew the man that I almost married.

"I asked you a question." He stood in the doorway, watching as I packed.

"Which I'm not going to answer, it's not like you're going to listen to what I actually have to say."

"The fact that you're not trying to dispute it tells me I'm right."

I paused what I was doing and turned to look at him with a sigh. "There's no one else. Can you say the same for yourself?"

His brows snapped together. "Are you implying that I've been cheating on you?"

"Oh, my bad. The late nights at work, weekends away, secretive texting. None of those things suggest that you could be having an affair."

"Well, now you're just getting creative." He commented with amusement. "Are you leaving because you've convinced yourself that I have someone on the side?"

"No, I'm leaving because you can't handle having a normal conversation." I zipped up the bag and placed it on the floor. "But if you're going to be pointing the finger then you should probably take a good look at yourself first."

Enzo brimmed with hostility as his eyes bore into me. He didn't try to stop me from leaving, and I didn't look back to check what he was doing. Our words were laced with venom, and it hurt more than I cared to admit seeing us like this.

Where did it all go wrong? I suppose that no longer mattered.

I sat in my car for a fair share of time, alternating between crying my eyes out and staring into the distance with a blank expression. This weekend started with my life in Baltimore being stuffed into cardboard boxes, and it wrapped up with life as I knew it in New York coming to an end.

I stripped off the security blanket, all on my own accord, not even remotely preparing myself for the cold world outside. How would I put the pieces back together? How would I make it on my own?

For the second time in my life, I felt completely lost.

So, I drove down to Bonnie's, the only place that I knew that would still welcome me with open arms. They never judged me, no matter what, and I needed a safe space for the night. Somewhere that I could switch off, and cry into the pillow some more. But come tomorrow morning, I'd have to figure out what my next step was going to be.


Damon

"Honey, I'm home!" Andie called from downstairs. "Where are you?"

"Upstairs." I tried to sit up but failed miserably.

I've practically been bed-bound for the past five days. I was reminded of the broken bones and bruises whenever I tried to do anything remotely simple. Sitting up, laying down, walking down the stairs. That was all a fucking nightmare.

Needless to say, I had to take medical leave until at least some of my injuries healed up and I could make it through the day without wincing at every move. Luckily, they released me from the hospital after only two days and ever since then I've been staying at home, sleeping the days away. I never knew that physical injuries came with such endless fatigue, but that could have been the medication knocking me out.

"How are you feeling?" Andie came over to hand me some painkillers and a bottle of water. "Or should I take the grimace on your face for an answer?" Her mouth curved into a smile.

"I'm glad that my pain is keeping you amused." I rolled my eyes and washed the pills down my throat. "Did you finish early today?"

These last couple of days blended into one since there was no way for me to distinguish one from the other, so I was more alert to what was going around the house. Like what time Andie left for work and when she came back, or what time the postman would reach us. Yeah, it was as dreadful as it sounded, and I was in a desperate need of a hobby.

"You know I hate to see you like this." She pecked me on the lips and sat down next to me on the bed. "We had the shoot but had to wrap up early. And, on a completely unrelated note, I overheard something big today.."

"Did you overhear it or were you eavesdropping?"

"Hey, what are you implying, Mr?" She gaped at me with a flicker in her eyes.

"Alright, spill the beans already. What did you find out?" I asked, only mildly interested.

Gossiping wasn't the exact hobby that I had in my mind, but it was better than nothing.

"Elena and Enzo called it quits."

My mouth set in a hard line and the colour drained from my face. To say that I was shocked was like saying nothing at all.

"See, I told you that it was a big one."

She had no idea.

"What happened?"

I doubted that Andie knew much more, but I had to know the full extent of it.

"You do realise that I wasn't in on the conversation?" Andie pointed out with a chuckle. "I don't know, they seemed good together. But I guess he must have been the one to end it, otherwise Elena wouldn't have been crying her eyes out."

That didn't seem likely, why would he want to leave Elena? Granted I had no idea what went on in their relationship, I just couldn't imagine how someone could leave her. Last time that I saw them together at the barbeque his hands were all over her body, which quickly turned into an image that made me want to puke. I couldn't help it; I was still jealous when it came to Elena.

So much has happened between us since; the restaurant, the bar, the kiss, and that morning when she stormed out of my house after I nearly confessed. Those dreadful words that haunted me ever since when she declared that she loved Enzo. I was aware of it but hearing her say it was something else entirely.

We haven't seen each other since; I haven't heard from her either. I had the accident two days later, so my mind was occupied with something else for the first time since she re-entered my life. The night of the accident, I was driving around aimlessly. I was alone, with nothing to do and nothing to distract me from thinking about her. That kiss changed everything for me.

It was then that I realised what a piece of crap I was because I actually regretted that we didn't take things further, when all along I should have been regretting that the kiss even happened. Andie wasn't even a fleeting thought on my mind that night. As it turned out, even sober I wasn't thinking straight, not when it came to Elena.

"That's too bad." I muttered out when I remembered that we were in the middle of a conversation. "I hope that she'll be okay."

Yeah, that wasn't going to cut it. I needed to see her.

"Yeah, me too. I think that she's taking some time off from work for now." Andie slowly got up. "Do you need help getting down the stairs? We're having takeaway for dinner."

"I'll be fine, just give me a couple of minutes."

"Okay, handsome." She winked at me and then left the bedroom, leaving me alone to digest the newly learnt information.

I had no idea what to do with it, but one thing I knew for sure; I couldn't leave it like that.


A/N: Welcome back! I hope that you've all had a great weekend :) I've been working on this update relentlessly all week long, and here it is (finally). So, Elena's life is in shambles, Damon is being a bit of a jackass to his wife, and Enzo.. not such a nice guy after all, huh? Please let me know your thoughts! I hope that you enjoyed it! I'm very excited for the next few chapters, I'm having so much fun coming up with new concepts.

PS. Damon told Andie about Elena in Chapter 3, so way at the start (I saw this mentioned in one review) - I realise that some of the bits and bobs of the story might have slipped away due to the infrequent updates at the start, so apologies! But now I've been sticking to one update per week or so, and I promise you this will always be the case :)

Thank you all for your support, the reviews are amazing and I'm so happy with the overall response to this story - considering it wasn't very popular to start with.

Love you all and see you soon! Kaya xx