A/N: Jeez... Feels as if fics are being rarely updated right now... This a normal thing?...
Eh, whateva'.
Progress on making a cover and an avatar picture?... Fuckin'... Not zero, I'd say 20%, but as I also said before, my drawing skills are garbage... So zero.
My mind on thoughts right now?... Fuckin' zero.
I got nothing to really aim for right now, so I'm genuinely just thinking up on the spot about it.
So... I might lose interest and write in such a way where the character dies of and *BAM*!... End of story.
But then I would have to undo it later if I finally get ideas... hmmm...
Best option would be a rewrite at that point. Could try to fix my past mistakes then...
Eh, We'll see...
Enjoy the chapter!...
Recon, luck, talk and bulls*!
Not crazy.
Not crazy.
Not crazy.
Most certainly not crazy. I'm not insane, you are insane, Mr. Gertrude!
Will you stop calling yourself a "crude wooden plank with a face" already? It's getting on my nerves!
No! I am sane, Mr. Gertrude! I most certainly am! This is normal, Mr. Gertrude! Completely and utterly normal!
No! You can not have my hat! This is my hat, Mr. Gertrude!
"Continue telling the story"? What fucking story? I'm not insane, Mr. Gertrude! I am completely fine and dandy! Nothing wrong here!
Not insane, Gertrude.
Gertrude! Don't be so mean, you lazy-eyed billock!
No, I won't burn the British stuff! It helps me be reminded of home!
Story? What story? There's no story! None! Nothing! Nada! Mitte midagi! Pole-!
...
...
fine. I'll continue telling the story... But you will stop insulting me, Mr. Gertrude!
"I hope My beard isn't that messy..." I say, touching the grown out beard i have, feeling the ruffness and the twigs sticking out of it.
"Hygiene wasn't THAT high on my priority list..." I mumble, thinking about my priority of survival.
"Hold on. Why am I following the advice of a note? It could actually be dangerous, for all I know." I ask myself, rubbing my chin in thought.
"Also, how come have I not been attacked yet?... This is strange... I've been living in that forest for so long, yet I've not been attacked or attempted to be killed..." I mutter, as I finally stand still and think about the situation.
"Better not head for the village still... I need to do recon on the place, scout it out from the surroundings." I continue thinking out loud, "Entering a potentially hostile village could mean the death of me, if I don't have a proper weapon."
Finally, after reconsidering my choices, I decided to not go into the unknown, possibly hostile village.
...
Yes, I chickened out! But my logic makes sense, so don't judge me!
Finally, I reached the lake yet again and began walking beside the shore, getting arround the lake.
I look around more, feeling like something is off...
Oh, shit nuggets. The ice flinger is there! And they fucking saw me!...
Though, I don't see her friend anywhere right now...
Oh, the ice flinger is saying something...
Can't understand a thing though, so I jist tilt my head in confusion...
And apparently that was a bad move, as she got upset...
I see her move upwards toward the sky and...
"Oh, fuck me sideways, why don't ya?" I ask, realizing how FUCKED I'm gonna be, if I don't start hauling ass. Why? Well... She's summoning basically magic icicles and about to launch them at me.
Fuck, Fuck, Fuck! What do I do, what do I do?!... Oh, I know! Distract!
I quickly roll to the side and out of the way of the attack, then got back up to look at her...
At which point, I began hearing music.
(music: "Beloved Tomboyish Girl" from "Touhou: Embodiment of Scarlet Devil" OST)
...
"The fuck?" I ask, looking around. "Why is there music?..."
No, genuinely. I am hearing fucking music play in the background. Where the fuck is it coming from?!
It sounds too fucking up-beat! Am I genuinely losing my mind-?
"Woah!" I yell as I dodge a projectile that was launched at me.
I look at her, the expression on her is... boastful. Like they are the best...
Oh, I bloody hate that! You know what? Fuck this! I'm fucking running!
So that's what I did. I begin running and dodging in circles. My heart, beating like an old steam engine. My lungs, chugging air in and out.
Thing was, she was flying behind me, chasing after me. I kept running and dodging, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to outrun her at this rate.
So, I did the next "sensible" thing... I made drugs before hand, so...
While running, I move my backpack to my frontside in order to search through it.
I moved stuff about for a while, at the same time I was running.
Oup! Got hit almost!
I look behind and... "Jeesus christ! Overkill much?!" I yell, seeing LOADS OF THOSE FUCKING ORBS! Holy hell!
Hold on, am I in a world where reality is a bullet hell?! Fuck me! That's a load of bollocks!
And- "Jee-ee-eesus! Nearly had me there!" I yell, as I felt a projectile graze my body.
Nope. Nope. Nope. Fuck this. Where's the drug?! My legs are fucking hurting and I can't keep running like this! I'll be fucking killed at this rate! By the damn Ice-flinger, no less!
I keep searching through my backpack, but I still couldn't find it.
"Fuck, where's the drug? Where's the homemade drug?!" I yell in fear while still running away from the ice-flinger.
As I was about to collapse from exhaustion, I found the drug!
"Yes! Found it!" a yell came from my lips, "I found the drug!"
I placed it on my tongue and swallowed it whole...
...
(fade in song: "Glucose Getaway" from "Sugary Spire" (Fan-game of Pizza Tower) OST.)
I feel my heart jumping, pumping faster and stronger. My body became completely numb suddenly. My pupils went wide and...
I bolted!
It was like... My heart was a steam engine before, now it's a fucking jet engine. I feel myself running a LOT FUCKING FASTER.
I see my feet kicking up dust from how fast I was running, the trees are zooming by, as I kept running alongside the lake.
My head feels as if it's a damn supercomputer. In the sense that it's proccesing thoughts real fucking quickly-!
"Oh shit!" I yell, as I roll under what appeared to be a large clock, then quickly got back up and continue running.
"It seems my eyes are decieving me from reality and imagination!" I yell to myself, as I continue running, kicking up more dust as I run.
Oh, I managed to run all the way to the other side of the lake! The village is right over there, but I decided to head in another direction instead and- "Woah! That was a fucking gun!" I yelled.
Everything is becoming trippy now. I can't tell reality from imaginary! Holy shit! I'm moving fast as fuck! Oh, there's a road there! I'll follow that!
(go to 1:30 on the music.)
Oh, fuck me! I feel incredible amount of chest pain right now! Not to mention like my eyes feel they are about to fucking explode! Is my organs shutting down?!
I continue running on the pathway, away from the village. My legs, are really being a dick and- "Woah!" I jump, as I seem to have noticed a massive hole in the ground. But i keep running.
The illusions have become more tense, as the world became more colorful and wavey. I kept running on the road though, I don't know where it leads, but I fucking hope it takes me somewhere!
"That's a big hand!" I yell, rolling under what seemed to be a massive fist.
I soon after got back up and continue running.
I'm most certain that I have overdosed myself by accident, but fuck me I needed to escape, alright?! I seem to have entered a more forested are by following the path.
Oh! I see lots of stairs infront of me! Holy fucking SHIT!
(skip to 2:44 of the song.)
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, my heart hurts! My everything hurts! I'm running up these infinite damn stairs! My lungs hurt! My soul fucking hurts! Fuck, fuck, shit, ASS, FUCK! MY HEART! MY HEART FUCKING- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-!
*THUD* (music stops)
...
...
Well... This is something... I passed out...
I'm greeted by darkness yet again. Yep... God ol' pal, the void...
...
Fuck's sake, what the fuck is wrong with me? Why did I think that taking that drug was a GOOD idea?...
...
Damn, now I wish I had a drink... Mayne I could-! Wait, no... I'm not conscious... shit...
...
I could sing? Like no one can hear my thoughts or anything...
...
Doesn't this mean I am technically dreaming?... Couldn't I just...
*POP*
Oh! It worked! A bottle of sparkling apple cider!... Well...
Might aswell sing... No one here to hear my thoughts.
I take a sip in the void from the sparkling apple cider... And by sip, I mean couple of gulps.
(U/A/N: I have forgotten to add the song name. "The First Step (2020 remastered)" by "Will Wood".)
"You could say I'm plastered,"
" 'Cause I hit a wall."
I walk around im the void, hearing instruments weirdly play.
"I lost count after 21"
"In the college crawl."
I imagine myself a bar stool and sit down on it. I continue singing, as the setting of the void changes into bar. (But it's the weird way of dping a setting, by having the void still stare at me, as some walls are missing.)
"Well, I been a boozin' bastard."
"They are calling me Edward Forty-hands, I can't touch anyone."
There are random faces from my life in the bar. Most I don't know, few I remember, but they seem to be drinking as well.
"With an enemy like me, who would need a friend?"
"Nevermind, I'm drunk."
There's a stage over there. Guess this should be considered more as a pub? or a bar?... Never understood the difference, and never will.
Some of the people began singing in a chorus (Is it chorus? You know, the "Aaaaah."? In like, churches and shit?) for this part.
"Well, we had enough power since the black out started,"
"For an EKG for the broken hearted."
I pick up a bottle of half-empty cider.
"I try to see the glass as half full,"
"But I'd probably drink that too!"
I take a swig.
"Glass half full,"
"I'd probably just drink that too!"
The chorus stopped, as the instruments continue and I keep singing.
"Well, I'm the reason they call it an "Irish Goodbye", "
"And I hope I don't choke on my vomit tonight."
I then quickly sing out, standing up and pointing at a bottle.
"Well,I-Bet-That-The-Bottle-Of-Brandy's-So-Bitter'd"
"Be-Better-Than-Bitin'-The-Bullet-And-Betterin'-myself."
"Sorry if I slur."
I pick up the bottle and take another swig.
"Take my anxiety and sobriety,"
"I'll kill two birds with one stoner~!"
"So if you see me please, take my keys."
"I don't wanna be an organ donor~!"
I recognize some of the faces as the faces I met in this land.
"Well, we had enough power since the black out started,"
"For an EKG for the broken hearted."
I take a swig.
"I try to see the glass as half full,"
"But I'd probably drink that too!"
"Glass half full,"
"I'd probably drink that too!"
The so-called audience sing again in harmony.
"Well, I'm going to go down and I'm taking you with me~eh!"
"I'm bringing the water to the horse."
"So bring me the dog that bit me~e!"
"So I can clone it and have a little more, haha."
Instrumental solo plays, as I take a long swig from the bottle.
"Well, we've had enough power since the blackout started,"
"For an EKG for the broken hearted!
"I try to see the glass as half full,"
"Even when I'm empty, half full."
"I try to see the glass as half full,"
"But I'd probably just..."
I throw away the bottle in anger, as I yell out a long "AAAAAH!", While a voice that souns exactly like me continues singing.
"Glass half full."
"I'd probably just drink that too."
I take another bottle and take a swig.
"I'd probably just drink that too!"
Soon, the song ended and quickly the bar theme disappeared back into the void, along with the familiar faces.
...
...
Suddenly, I feel as if my unconcious body has been picked up.
I don't know what's happening, as I can only see the darkness. But good to know I can still feel stuff...
...
And I was placed down... I feel hands on my chest, pressing down in a rhythm-.
Oooh... My heart stopped... Now I know why I feel hands on my chest...
I was wondering why I felt more and more dizzy...
I feel a tug, as if I am being woken up kind of tug... It's weird... I feel my body not being dragged, yet...
Oh, some light! Fucking finally! I still-!
I wake up with a startle, holding onto my chest. I feel the after effects of the drug still. Everything is pain...
I look around and notice I'm in a room. I look to my right and...
"Oh, hey Reimu." I greeted, seeing the person right next to me. It seems they restarted my heart... I'm not an expert on first aid. Hell I've been doing stuff instinctly.
She sits back and sighs in relief. She the got this stern look suddenly and asked "Why were you passed out at the entrance of my shrine?" She asks, a bit threateningly might I add...
"Well... I was running away." I simply said.
"From who?"
"Can't remember."
"Why did your heart stop?"
"It did?"
"Well, of cour-! I had to restart your heart!" She yells at me angrily.
...
"I remember nothing about this." I reply shrugging.
"Why are your eyes red?"
"They are?"
"Yes! They are blood red!"
"Really?"
"Yes! Really!"
"Well, I am feeling immense amount of pain right now..."
"How are you not screaming if that's the case?"
"I'm keeping my thoughts occupied. And since you just reminded me of my pain..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Are you-?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA-!" I scream in utter pain!
After the long screaming, My pain finally calmed down. It isn't flaring up so much anymore.
I hear her whisper "Never knew someone could think of so many ways to insult something..."
Ignoring her saying that, I ask her "You got tea? because quite frankly, last time I had tea, It was when I was at home, enjoying the nice summer weather on my porch."
She nods and says "Yes. I was actually planning to make some tea."
"Oh, splendid! For a moment, I thought people only had coffee and NEVER have any tea!" I say, delighted by the fact that she has tea.
"People rarely have tea where you are from?" she asks with curiosity, as her head tilts to the side.
"Yeah... All the people I know drink mainly coffee. They usually never have tea... Personally, I prefer plain tea. No sugar, or milk or anything like that. Just a cup of regular tea." I tell her, doing motions with my right hand.
"Huh... Alright." She replies, "I'll make some tea. don't go anywhere." She adds, the final part being more threatening, yet caring tone.
"Alright. I'll stay here." I say, sitting down...
...
I ge up and look around... It's a pretty plain room to be honest. There's the door there, then another.
...
Shit. I feel depressed about my cats again...
...
Fucking... Why was I taken away?... Why was I taken from home?... I had a good fucking life... I had a job, a house, food on the plate and all!... Yet I got whisked away into this shit hole... I don't habe proper clothes... I'm a mess... My beard has branches sticking out of it, for fuck sake... Same with my hair... i'm completely fucking ragged-.
"Tea's ready." I hear her say, as she walks towards the table-looking-thing and sits down, placing her legs under the cover...
She gestures for me to take a seat, but I decline respectfully "I would, but... I'm afraid I'd take too much room. I'd prefer standing up, if you don't mind?"
"Sit down, Dave." She says, not caring what I have to say.
I sigh out a "Sure" and sit down, placing my legs under the table thing... Only for my legs to stick out the other side.
She looks at me... Then at my legs... then back at me. "Huh... you are tall..." She mutters.
"Told you so. Not to offend you or anything, but I'll be honest about the fact that you'd be considered the size of a 14 year-old kid, from where I am from." I say, picking up a cup of tea.
"I would have been offended, but considering your giant size, it's hard not to." She replies, shrugging as she continues to drink the tea.
I nod a d sip the tea... "This is actually really good tea, Reimu. Never had anything this good before." I say, because the tea actually is pretty damn good.
"Thank you, Dave." She says, taking a sip. Her eyes then become stern again as she asks a simple question: "How long?"
"Eh?" I ask, not knowing what she meant.
"How long have you been surviving in the wilderness? Do you even have clean clothes to put on? Or even food stockpiled for winter?" She asks sternly with a piercing look.
I begin sweating, as I spit-out some words "U-u-u-um... Three months? Ma-maybe four?"
"what?" she asks, with a threatening done... Still caring, but also threatening.
I gulp, "A-and U-umm... I-i have n-no other clothes t-to use..."
"what?" she asks again, her voice becoming actually scary.
"A-and I-I... might not have food stockpiled? Eh-heh. heh..." I nervously spit out, scared from what she might to.
"And you haven't told anyone, because?..." she asks, REALLY threateningly now.
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"You never gave me directions." I simply stated.
She blanked for a hot while. You could almost hear the record scratching sound that is typically used in a cartoon.
"Uhh... Reimu?..." I ask, staring at her expresionless face...
"..."
"..."
"But why didn't you go to the Human Village to get help?" She asks again.
"I'm partially blind. Near-sighted." I quickly reply.
"Wait, what?" She asks, not believing what I just said.
"Yeah... I'm partially blind. Everything gets pretty blurry past six meters or so... I forgot that I broke my glasses at a certain point... Or lost them while running away." I said, shrugging.
She sighs and says something in... Japanese, was it? Maybe?
She takes a deep breath and was a bout to say somethinf, until I interrupted her by asking "By the way, wouldn't it be almost impossible for me to get clothing that fit me?"
"I know someonewho knows someone who can make clothes." she quickly answers my question.
"Huh... We should drink our tea and enjoy the silence." I says, to which she agrees.
...
*sip*
...
...
A few minutes later...
*sip*
...
...
*BANG!*
I heard the slide door thing slide open quickly and hear a voice speaking in Japanese.
I turn my head and see... "Hey Marisa."
She looks at me then asks Reimu something in Japanese. To which I ask "What did she just say?"
"She basically asked me when did I start sheltering hoboes." She says, taking a sip.
I look back at Marisa and threaten "If you call me a hobo again, I will stuff that broom so far up yer arse, you'd have a concussion similar to drinkin' wood alcohol."
She quickly nods, sweating in fear and spitting out "Noted, ze."
Reimu looks at me curiously, an eyebrow raised.
I look at Reimu and simply say "When I make promises, i don't back down from them"
"Remind me not to make promises with you then." She says, taking a sip.
...
"Eh, anyway. So-?" I begin asking, but get cut-off by Marisa.
"Why are you here, anyway -ze?" She asks me.
"I ran here."
"Why?"
"Because."
"..."
"..."
"Because... what -ze?"
"Don't remember."
Reimu cut in, saying something in Japanese to Marisa.
Marisa, in turn asks Reimu something.
Reimu seems to answer, the answer seems to have caused Marisa's eyes to widen.
Marisa turns her head to look at me and asks "Your heart stopped when you got here, -ze?" (I wonder why she speaks with such a weird mannerism?)
"Yes, but 'tis just a scratch." I say.
"Wha-? No it isn't! Your heart stopped!" She yelled back.
"No it didn't."
"Yes it did -ze! Reimu told me your heart stopped when you got here!"
"oh... No it didn't. It's working now."
"Yes! But I mean before -ze!"
"I was unconcious, so I have no clue what you are talking about."
"Wha? Eh? Bu-?... You need help." She says, giving up on continueing this discussion.
"Yes, but alcohol helps me. It helps to dull the pain." I say, taking another sip.
"..." Reimu and Marisa look at me at the sametime.
They both have the deadpan expression and say at the same time "You need help, Dave (-ze)."
I mutter "Now in stereo, apparently." But they seem to have ignored my small joke.
Marisa also sits down and takes a cup.
*sip*
...
...
*sip*
"Marisa, could you bring Dave to the village?" Reimu requests.
"Why -ze?" Marisa asks with a raised eyebrow.
"He hasn't been to the village, not even once." Reimu answers her question.
"You two are planning om dragging me to the Village?" I ask them both, "In this clothing?" I say, gesturing to my ragged clothes.
"..."
"..."
"Good point. Can't exactly have you look like a complete and utter ho- I mean, can't have you look like that." Reimu says, correcting herself from a mistake... Atleast she has decency on being a bit nice.
"Hey. You two are lucky that you have roofs over your head and propper food on your plate." I mutter, annoyed by being almost compared to a hobo.
"Then why didn't you head for the village, -ze?" Marisa asks me, curiousity in her eyes.
"Well, I'm not from around here. I thought the worst will happen." I say, explaining my reasoning.
"Like what?" Both Marisa and Reimu ask at the sametime.
I mutter "Stereo. Need Mystery Biscuits." before answering their question "Well, My thought process was that the village could have been extremely agressive to outsiders."
"Most outsiders try to get to any sort of civilization, Dave." Reimu tells me.
"Yeah? well most are idiots then. They should think about the worst possible. What they should do is focus on overall survival off of the land, then communications." I say, looking at her with narrowed eyes.
"Most outsiders have died because of that, Dave." Reimu says sternly.
"Because most people don't have the training for survival in the wilderness, or the thought process." I retort back to her, my eyes squinting at her.
We both had a staring contest at that point, before Marisa interrupting it by saying "Will you two stop it -ze?"
I only take a sip from my tea, as Reimu does the same. Both of us still having the staring contest.
"Hello?" Marisa says. Then she says something in Japanese. But me and Reimu still keep staring eachother in the eyes, trying to see through the soul.
Marisa then gets annoyed and says something in Japanese again, which causes Reimu to snap out of it and yell at her in Japanese.
I shrug and continue sipping the tea, until realizing I drank all of the tea from the cup.
"Well, I drank all the tea." I say, getting up and placing the cup on the table, "Seems like a good time for me to leave now. Toodles!" I say, quickly exiting the room.
"Hey!" both Marisa and Reimu yell.
"You aren't going anywhere, mister! We are getting you clothes, -ze!" Maris yells, coming out of the shrine.
But a bit late already, as I run outside and begin running down the stairs...
I didn't get far, mind you. I got picked up from my ragged shirt's collar by Marisa. She is flying on a broom... Huh...
"Nope. Nope. Nope. I don't do heights!" I yell, trying to get free.
"Quit being a baby, -ze! I'm bringing you to the human village!" She yells at me, still holding me up by my collar.
My eyes widen from that and I yell "No! NoNoNoNoNo!" and begin swinging about.
"H-hey! If you keep doing that, I might accidentally drop you, -ze!" She screams out, but I keep struggling.
Her grip finally loosens and I am free!... Until I realized I was above a big ass flight of stairs...
"Ohhh, this is gonna hurt." I mutter, before falling onto the stairs. And since it's basically impossible for me to land upright from a fall... I begin rolling quickly down the stairs.
All you could hear is cracks and splats from my body rolling down the stairs... I assume they are watching me with shock. If they don't fucking care... well... Fuck 'em. I'm not staying then. I'm going back home after my long fall down the stairs...
It takes a while for my rolling and constantly in pain body to get to the bottom of the stairs, Y'know.
Seirously. I'm honestly surprised that I haven't passed out yet...
Getting up was an... experience.
You know that weird feeling of braking a leg, but you are completely calm and can't feel pain at all?... Yeah, that's happening to me right now... Mighty convenient.
I slowly get up and yell "I'm okay! 'Tis just a scratch!"
"Your arms are bent the wrong way!" I hear one of their voices from the top of the stairs.
"No they're not!"
"Look!"
"Just a flesh wound!" I yelled back, giddy about the fact of me making a Monty Python reference.
"You're an idiot!"
"Anyway, Toodles!" I say, running off.
"Come back here, Dave!" I hear them yell, but I already ran pretty far.
I turn right and hid right behind a tree, climbed up and into the foliage... Well, there's still enough leaves to keep cover in.
I hear them get closer. They get close enough for me to hear them, but not enough to see me.
They keep yelling my name, expecting me to come out like I'm a lost dog. I hear then Marisa say something in Japanese, but of course I didn't understand a thing...
I think I'm still feeling the after effects of the drug... Either that or my pain receptors stopped working.
Anyway, sitting on the tree, I wait for the opportune time to sneak away...
...
...
Takes a while, doesn't it?...
...
...
Finally, after a long time of waiting, I climb down the tree and walk near the road. My thinking being that it'd be easier to sray hidden by following the road from a distance, rather than staying on the road and being able to be seen in plain sight.
Also, good news: My legs are relatively fine. I can still walk.
Bad news:... My arms are going the wrong way... No broken bones, thankfully. Just... twisted arm and hand... DISLOCATED! dislocated was the word I wanted to use...
I continue walking down the road, thinking of going back to base...
"Nah. Gonna continue exploring." I say to myself.
So, I took a sharp right and begin walking AWAY from the road...
...
I know that's usually a bad idea, but... don't care. Need to explore and get the lay of the land better... I wonder sometimes if I have the world's worst luck, or the world's best luck...
As I continue to walk, I notice some... fairies...
"Shit baskets, not those annoying bastards." I mutter to myself.
I see one of them ready to fire some projectiles, but I yell back "COULD YOU FUCK OFF?! I'M INJURED ENOUGH AS IS, YOU DAMN BABY WITH BUTTERFLY WINGS!"
...
Huh. That actually worked... Comes to show, insulting can help you. especially at pointing out the obvious...
As I continue walking, I try to predict my current whereabouts... There's a lot stuff here in this forest. 'Shrooms, berries, shit like that.
Well, I continue walking forward, my mind set on finding out mire about the land...
...
I really need tools... I can't keep working with a crude hammer on my base...
Hold on... I see something... Something reflecting light in the disrance, to my right... Well, noy that distant, but more nearby... I can even faguely see a shape.
Deciding to walk towards that instead, I find myself wondering what it could possibly be...
...
I reach near the place and... "Holy moly! Truck! A damn truck! Looks to be old... Wheel popped off the thing. The windscreen is shattered..."
I take a look under it's hood, "Engine's there. Not sure if it will run though... Ah, it probably will. This truck is soviet tech. Not efficient at all, but robust enough for even a village smith being capable of repairing it."
I walk towards the back, checking what it has...
"Oh, fuck YES! RATIONS AND FUEL! Fucking hell! What luck do I have!?... I bet the truck can't start." I say to myself, seeing the cargo it has.
I check it's gas tank, "Yep. still got fuel in it as well. All I need to do, is fix the wheel somehow and good to go..." Then I think a bit and add "Didn't these things have spare wheels somewhere?"
I check the back again, nit seeing any spare wheels...
I got into the back of the truck and begin searching it.
"Rations. Meds. Alcohol. Fuel. Old Soviet propaganda. Recent noardgames... Pornography... Oh! There IS a wheel! It was just REALLY in the back!" I say to myself.
I lift up the wheel from the back and walk outside of the truck.
I begin replacing the left front wheel. First, I took some tools from the back and placed it near the area where I was gonna work on the wheel.
I lift up the truck, and begin working on the wheel... Fuck, this is hard.
I unscrew the bolts on the broken wheel, taking it off the axle.
I placed the new wheel onto the axle and begin screwing it in.
After screwing it tight, I take away the tool that lifted the truck and placed the rest pf the tools where I got them.
I then finally enter the cab and turn the ignition...
Some noise, but the car failed to start. So, I try again... And again... And again...
Suddenly and finally, it starts up with a roar. I laugh at the ridicoulousness of this. "What the fuck is my damn luck?! I bet this thing will brake down as soon as I get back to base!"
then I realize something and mutter "Shit... This is a manual... And I never learned to drive a car..."
I shrug and say "Well, first times for everything.
I press lightly on the gas pedal and then take my foot off of it. I quickly press down on the clutch pedal and switch to first gear then undo my press to lightly press the gas.
The truck begins move forward, but I quickly realize something...
I am lost. As in, I don't know where to go *nervous chuckling*.
So, I keep driving forward at first gear, content with the speed of the truck... I just notice that the speedometer on the dashboard is broken. So I don't even know my speed... But I know my other stuff, like the engine rotations per minute. It's 2000.
Keeping focus, I carefully manouver the truck around the trees, trying to figure out where the fuck I am and how the fuck I get out of this damned forest.
Oh! This thing has radio! And a working player! Very nice!... Did these people have some music to put?... Well, this truck IS pretty well restored...
I search through the glove box and... "Yep. There are some tunes to listen to- Oh, these are downloaded from YouTube! Very nice!"
I place a disc into the player and hit play...
("Trust me, I'm am engineer" by "TheVilkaz" plays.)
...
"Fuck..." Is all I had to say...
"Guess I'm hearing this song for a while... I wonder what people think about the music..." I muse to myself while I keep slowly driving between trees.
After some time of driving and listening to some music (Some songs were actually pretty good, by the way. There were some russian songs, some western songs and shit like that.), I begin to notice something...
"Nature's fucked up in this forest apparently. Fucking... It was getting hard to breathe, had to grab a gas mask. I realized there were big shrooms n' shit and all sorts of weird plants. Like, shit, I saw a skeleton in a plant's gob, now that I think about it. Guess I know where the truck driver ended up.
Still, I've been driving for a while now. It's still hard to breathe and this forest is REALLY giving me the creeps. I think I accidentally made an incredibly ballsy move by entering this forest. Fucking... toxic as shit.
Atleast the engine's not having trouble. Keeps driving forward... Hey, maybe I have a bobble head somewhere and could re-enact "Meet The Sniper" video from TF2?... No... There's no bobble head... damn it.
Guess I'll keep driving... Like nothing else better to do... Maybe grab the chess board I found in the back? I did move it to the passanger seat."
I then finally notice a clearing up ahead, with a white, european style house in the clearing.
"Oh! Civili-fucking-zation! Wonder if they could point me where I need to go? This forest is giving me the creeps." I say, gas mask still on my face.
I drive towards the clearing and reach it.I stop the truck pretty close to the house and turn off the engine, then get out of the cab.
I notice that my arm and hand are still dislocated, so I did a bit of self-improvisation and just YANKED it back to place... It gave a satisfying pop.
"Windshield needs fixin'. Thankfully it isn't the driver's side that is broken, only the passenger side." I say to myself, noting the cab condition.
Closing the truck door, I go to the passanger side to get the chess board, the start walking towards the house. I then finally see a doll sitting on the middle of the stairs.
I look down at it and examine it... I got closer to it... Finally, I say "Sorry. Gotta move ya to the side for a sec. Need to check if someone's home." and gently picked up the doll and placed it to the side of the stairs... STEPS! They are steps not stairs... Silly me.
Walking up to the front door, I ready to knock on it, 'till I felt a tap on my shoulder.
Turning my head, I briefly saw the doll floating next to me, and I basically jumped in surprise yelling "Holy bananza of ice-cream sundays and an infinite supply of chocolate chips!"
I grab my chest and say "Don't do that! I already suffered my heart shutting down, I don't need to suffer it again!"
All the doll did was tilt it's head... I mutter "Rude prick" under my breath and get ready to knock on the door again.
*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*
Silence greeted me for a while, until the door was opened by a blonde lady in a blue dress holding a book.
"Greetings, miss. I appear to have gotten lost. I was hoping you would know the directions out of this forest? And no, I am not in a hurry." I tell the lady... (Fine lookin' lass, might I add... Still short though and I ain't becoming a womanizer when my survival is top prioririty... And overall, I like living alone.)
She simply nods and says "Yes. I can help you with that. There's a trodden path over there you could follow to get out of the forest."
"Ah. Over there?" I point towards what I thought was a path.
"No, over to the left."
"There?"
"Yes. Over there is the path out of the forest... Though, it is rarely used, so travel cautiously." She warns me.
"Will do. But first..." I say, then pull out the chess board I had on my back. "Would you like to play some chess?"
"Damn. Lost again." I mutter, now inside the lady- Alice, Alice's house. She told me her name and I told her my name.
Long story short, I was invited inside and was able to take the gas mask off, and she agreed on playing some chess.
"I can't really remember when I last time played chess, Mr. Brew" She says, as we both set up our pieces again.
"Same here. I learned to play a bit of chess, but as you can see I am not that good at chess." I say, nodding to her statement.
"I do wonder, why you are in such poor condition?" She ask, seemingly curious.
"I've been surviving out on my own for a couple of months now, truth be told. I haven't even visited the Village yet. My diet was mainly fish and water." I explain, as I make the first move in this new game of chess.
"I imagine it isn't easy." She states, to which I nod.
"Yep. Really hard. Often times I accidentally starve myself. Probably the most problamatic thing is that I have no way of preserving fish, so I can't really be prepared for winter." I add.
She nods as she moves a chess piece, "But why haven't you been to the Human Village then?"
I shrug and move a chess piece "Superstition mainly. And paranoia... I always thought that if I went there, I'd be killed on sight... or tortured. God knows how this land does it's things, I was just always incredibly cautious."
"While it seems illogical to some, you do have a pretty sound reasoning for not going to the village." She states, as she moves another piece.
"Yep. It's actually pretty understandable. People who live in this land knows the best, but people who just got whisked away here tend to get killed by stupid reasons, I assume." I move another chess piece.
"You are correct to assume that. You seem to have experience in it." She says, moving yet another chess piece.
I nod and move another piece. "Yep. On one of my regular walks to the lake to catch fish for dinner, I found a dead body. A woman, to be precise. I dragged the corpse to my home and burried the corpse. Of course, I made a cross to signify where they lay, and that was it."
She nods at my small experience and says "I am assuming that was the point where you realized how dangerous Gensokyo is?"
"Gensokyo? That's the name of this land? Huh... Now atleast I have some icredibly basic knowledge." I say, as she moves another chess piece.
"Indeed. I am guessing you haven't really met anyone." Another chess piece moved.
"Not exactly... I moved around a bit, stole basic neccesities from that red mansion by the lake-" "Scarlet Devil Mansion." "- And I was at a certain point found by Reimu and Marisa... Both were incredibly rude, mind you." I say, as the game of chess progresses more.
"Oh? So those two found you? Where do you live?" She asks me.
"Underground. The entrance is somewhere in between the mountain and the lake overthere, inside the forest."
"Hm. Is there anything else you would need, Mr. Brew?" She asks, as the game progresses even more. It seemed I was winning the game for a hot sec.
"Well, other than proper clothes for working and tools, I can't seem to recall anything else I would need." I state. "Also, you can call me by my first name, you know? Calling me Mr. Brew makes me feel too much like an aristrocat."
"I can make some clothing if you need-" "Really? I got nothing to pay you for. All I can offer is getting you some firewood." I interupt her by accident.
"Well... that would do fine, I will admit. It works for me." She says.
"Great. I actually have a design in mind. Basically, overalls for working with tools." I tell her.
She nods and says "Sure. I can make some for you. I'll also make you a new shirt and some gloves for you to work with."
The game of chess advances even more, as I say "That would be wonderful, Alice."
"As for the tools, I can really only give you my old ones, which are either dull or not really reliable anymore." she says, moving a piece.
"That would do wonderfully, Alice. Thank you." I say, as I move another piece.
"So, what's with the dolls? Sorry for my rudeness." I ask her, as she moves another piece.
"Oh, I'm a pupeteer. I control these dolls." She explains.
"Ah. I assume that you use magic in order to do so?"
The answer I got was a nod and a "Indeed".
I move another piece as she begins explaining more "To be more broad, I am a magician. I live in the forest in order not to be bothered so much by others."
"Ah. Understandable. Atleast now I know a good place to have a home, if I survive the coming winter." I say, as another piece is moved.
"Indeed. Though, this forest isn't really a good place to be at. Mainly because even breathing in this forest can be hazardous to health."
"Yeah, I noticed. Which was why I was wearing a gas mask. The truck doesn't have an air conditioner that recycles the inside air, and the passenger-side windshield is broken. So I had no choice but to put on a gas mask I found in the truck... I'm actually surprised that the truck was still able to run." I say.
She simply hums and nods, as I move another chess piece.
"I actually find it funny. As in, I find my luck to be funny." I say, to which she raises an eyebrow.
"It seems that my luck just saves my skin many times before. Like when I managed to find a fishing spot or when I found that truck in this forest. But sometimes, my luck loses and incompotence takes over." I say, as she moves another piece.
"How so?" She asks, as I move my piece hap-hazardly.
"Well, I quite recently actually lost my leg... Well, "recently". It was more like... A month ago or so, I haven't been keeping treack of time. I had an accident involving my leg and a cart full of iron ore and stone... Long story short, the brakes for my cart broke and I came tumbling down quickly. One bad move launched me out of my seat and well... A slab of ore landed on my leg." I explain, as she moved another chess piece.
"Check." She says. "It seems you weren't paying attention."
I chuckle and say "You got that right. Sometimes I feel like I pay too much attention and sometimesnot enough. And I'll be honest, I still ain't used to being all alone in Gensokyo. I sometimes have my insanity fits and just... Well, halucinate."
She nods and says "You should go and move into the village then-"
"Nah. I find it peaceful to live alone. I wouldn't want nosy people coming and doing things to my stuff." I shake my head, as another chess piece was moved and the game advances.
"Understandable. It's the same reasoning why I live in this forest." She says, nodding.
"Yeah. And I'll be honest, I always prefer having my stuff come with me. Like having moving home, you know?" I say, as the game progresses even more.
"Quite understandable. Each person has their way of living." She says, "Checkmate."
I look down and see... Yeah, my king can't go anywhere.
"Well, this was a splendid game. But I have to get going now." I say, getting up and packing up the boardgame.
"Indeed. Meanwhile we were playing, I had the dolls create the clothing for you. And had the tools fetched for you." She says, also getting up.
I chuckle and say "You're a lot better multi-tasker than me." As I place the gas mask over my head.
She only gives me a smile to that. and as she said, the clothes and clothing are being carried by her dolls.
"I'll show you where you can place that stuff." I say through the gas mask, as I exit the building.
She follows me towards the truck and I open up the back, saying "In here. There's already some stuff here that I found, but there's still room."
The dolls fly in to the back and place down the clothing and tools into now-mine truck... No, now-mine would have worked if I just now got it. Recently-mine? Yeah, that seems more logical.
Anyway-. She nods and says "Everything is in there now. I'll show you the way out."
"Thank you. I jist need to start up the truck." I say, getting into the cab.
I turn the ignition, as the engine tries to start... It fails.
So, I turn again... Fails again, so I did it the third time... Finally, the engine roars to life, which seems to have startled Alice.
I slowly turn the truck around, as I yell "Lead the way!"
She nods and begins walking, leading me and the truck to what is hopefully outside the forest.
After a some time driving, we managed to finally exit the forest.
"Just up ahead is the Human Village, Dave." She says.
I take off my gas mask and mutter "Was getting hard to breathe..." before asking her "Hey, what's with the house over there?"
"That? That's just a second-hand shop, Kourindou. It's run by Rinnosuke Morichika... If that's all your question, I'll be heading back to my home now." She says, as she begins walking away towards the forest.
I yell out "MANY THANKS!" and I then drive towards the store, stopping quite a bit away from the front.
I turn off the engine and get out of the truck, closing the door behind me. Then I begin walking towards the store.
I open the door to be greeted with... A lot of stuff. I spot a man who is... Almost the same height as me! Almost... Just a bit shorter than me, though.
"Hello, good sir. I assume you are the shop owner?" I ask him, to which he nods.
"Yes. I am. You seem to be an outsider, I am guessing?" He replies and asks back.
"Indeed sir. Though, sorry to disappoint, I have no money to give you." I say, to which he sighs and says "It's fine, don't worry."
I walk up towards the desk and say "I'm actually having trouble on gaining money. Never been to the village before you see, and I have literally no income... But! I can provide some services to pay for items."
"Like what?" He asks.
"Well... I can pay you with my services. I can go ahead and trade in some fire wood, or do a bit of maintenance to this building." I suggest to the man.
The man nods calmly and says "If that will do, then it's fine."
"Also, I'll be honest with you and say that I prefer to pay before taking an item." To which he nods and says "That's completely fine."
"Oh, I forgot to introduce myself. I am Dave Brew, an Outsider and a survivalist." I introduce myself.
"It's quite fine actually. I am Rinnosuke Morichika, the shop owner of Kourindou. And if you don't mind me asking, what was that noise happening outside my store?" He introduces and asks.
"Oh, that was just my truck that I drove here. I mainly came by to see what you have, do and what services you can provide." I explain.
"Well, I sell items that end up here, such as items from the Outside world and on the side I do a bit of tinkering and creating magic items." He explains... A lot of explaining, isn't it? Need to improve my vocabulary on this.
"Ah, good to know... Well, It was nice meeting you, but I got to get back home now. Have a good day, Rinnosuke!" I say, leaving the store.
He nods and says "Same to you, Mr. Brew." and begins doing his... stuff he was doing. (I don't know. I just added it because it made sense. It ain't anything bad.)
Exiting the store, I walk back towards the Soviet-era truck and turn on the engine.
It starts up and I begin driving around the village, towards the lake.
I was becoming more confident with driving, to the point of letting it move to second gear.
I switched on the player and drove on forwards, the speakers are playing a catchy russian tune.
Finally, reaching the lake, I begin driving around it to get to the part where I usually move in between my base and the lake.
I then switched to first gear (Still not THAT confident on overall driving, mind you. It took some time for me to switch gear.) and drove slowly in-between the trees, towards my base.
...
...
After some time driving and listening to music, I reach the site, only to be greeted by the sight of Marisa and Reimu being there...
Shit.
Marisa and Reimu seem to be in somesort of battle stance already, as I drove closer to the base. I stopped the truck nearby in such a way that the passenger side was towards the two, and I turned off the engine.
I opened the driver-side door, got out of the cab, closed the door and walked around the truck.
I sheepishly greeted them, saying "Hey... you two?... Were you just, uh... Waiting for me?"
That seemed to have been the wrong move, as they begin yelling at me. Honestly, it felt like they were trying to rip me a new one.
I basically zoned out at that point. I knew where this was going and I wasn't in the mood to listen an entire 10 minute rant.
I actually began counting thriugh the top of my head on what else could I possibly need for winter.
Some clothing? No, Alice gave me some.
Food? I got food. A truck of rations and other junk.
Firewood? I still need that. I have to cut some trees down and get some firewood.
Anything else?... Well... No. I just have to transfer the food into my base and expand my storage.
Finally, those two stopped ranting and look at me with scary eyes. You know, the "You fucked up" eyes?
"Well... You two mostly spoke in Japanese, so I hardly knew what you were saying. And I had quite the luck. This truck here, I found it in the forest and it's mi-." I begin explaining, 'till Reimu interrupted me.
"Do you have any idea on how stupid that stunt was?" she asks.
I shrug and say "Yes. Do you think my pain wasn't enough of an indicator?"
"Your arms were in an incorrect positions."
"Yeah, they were dislocated. That was it. I managed t relocate my arms, so all's good. Hold on-" I say, near the end I notice Marisa trying to take something from the truck.
I take Marisa's broom and whack her on the top-side of her head, yelling "I AM NOT IN THE FECKIN' MOOD TO HAVE ME FECKIN' STUFF STOLEN, YE-"
"-OFF!" I finish my insult combo.
THAT got her to back away fearfully. I guess looking big, and having an intimidating scottish accent and knowing monty python quotes and insults works. who knew? (I need to perfect my scottish accent.)
I give Marisa her broom back and say to Reimu "Anyway. The truck is full of rations, so I have enough food and water to last the winter. It has some few extra stuff, but nothing magical."
After a long silence, Reimu sighs and says "Fine. But you will go to the village."
"Yeah, yeah. now fuck off so I can sleep. I had trouble sleeping for a while now." I say, waving them both off.
They both nod and leave, by flying into the air and away... I wonder if I did the world a favour by scolding Marisa?... Probably not, I would have been blasted by that damn laser, but somehow I still live... I need to move my home. This place is becoming in-secure.
Like, genuinely. Having people just barge in and take my stuff is a serious problem. Best way to deal with it is to just... Move away or build something capable of lifting a house...
Nah, I'll do that tomorrow. I'll do everything tomorrow, like transfering the cargo to base, gathering firewood, expanding storage... Fuck. tomorrow's gonna be a busy fucking day, isn't it?
Already had a busy day before... Anyway.
I walk up to the bacm of the truck and lock the door. I then went to the cab and lock the doors on it as well.
Finally, the truck was securely locked, so I can head into my home...
Home sweet home...
I walk towards the secret hatch of my base, look around, then opened the hatch and went inside.
I climbed down the ladder and went to the center hub.
Laying down, I mutter "One day... I will be able to live comfortably..."
There, happy? Are you happy, Mr. Gertrude?
(U/A/N: This in-app manager, is utter SHIT-AIDS!)
You got your story, a big, big, BIG story.
Now you fuck off and don't come back, Mr. Gertrude!
You will realize that you fucking need me! But right now, you just fuck off!
And no! You still can't have my hat! This hat is mine, do you understand that!?
No! You are lying!
I will kill you for this blasphemy, Mr. Gertrude!
Gertrude. fuck. off!
A/N: This note was written on the same day as the beggining of the chapter was.
I plan on maybe creating another fic, one that has the mechanic of every chapter being a day? So like, chapter 1 would be Day 1, and chapter 2 would be Day 2 and so on.
More over, I'll create a seperate sheet where I will have a bit of info to back up from.
Basically, what I'm planning is to do a fanfic with the character, but they have a blueprint PDA that shows blueprints for buildings from games, like from Frostpunk, They are Billions, Dream Engines: Nomad Cities and so on.
I'd kinda also want to write a fanfic of an experienced sky-fairing captain from Sunless Skies, because I would think that would be... mighty interesting...
Now I want to see the Touhou cast react to the world of Fallen London now... I think it would be really entertaining, quite frankly. (I could almost imagine some of the characters reacting to the place, Irem... Or them reacting to the Dawn Machine. Or maybe the Avid Horizon? or the workworlds of London? Oh! How about the entire region of Albion! Oh, the possibilities...)...
Could someone possibly write that? Thank you!~...
(As soon as I find one where the touhou cast reacts to the Fallen London universe or interact with it, I will read the SHIT out of that.)
Also, quick heads up: I may just post the unfinished cover pic for this story, because I seirously am shit at drawing, and I'm losing motivation to continue drawing.
U/A/N:
Hello! Author here!
As you can see, this is my updated authors notes.
I wanted to say that right now I often experience writer's block, so my schedule for writing will be bollocks.
Also, I wanted to conglaturate myself for being able to push for almost 10k words! (Yay!)... Even though 2k of said words are just these author notes... I bet.
And I wanted to add the fact of my... performance? Basically, the more people who favourite and follow and such, the more... Scared? is it scared? well, the more scared I feel. Mainly from the fact that I might write something shoddy and disappoint (or god forbid, displease) people.
So I feel more pressure to write something and do better, but at the same time... Eh...
Other than that... I will improve the cover picture just a bit more and then post it up and make it be the cover of this story.
And yes, the picture WILL be dissapointing.
Also, I mainly use the touhou wiki to get my info, So I don't know some stuff. If I seriously missed out some bollocks or something like that, I will just delete the chapter and try to fix it by writing a new one. (Also, REALLY glad that the wiki has character personality described. And also that it has locations described as well. Like the fact that the Forest of Magic basically has toxic air for humans... Well, not actually toxic. It's hazardous, but anyway.)
Well... That covers just about everything...
Am I forgetting something?... No. not really...
I'll add an addition when I remember.
As always, I'm ddomster19 (But harks will do just fine), signing off!...
(Now to continue playing "The Long Drive" and try to accomplish my goal of having lots of fuel, mobile home and a mobile garage.)
