"I… This…" He stared down at his saber. He'd never felt as lost as he did at that moment, and that was saying something. "Rey?" It sounded almost like a plea.
He looked up at her. She smiled softly, stepping around the laser beam and closer to him. He again almost dropped his saber as her hand covered his.
"Ben," she said, reaching up to cup his cheek with her other hand. "You really didn't see this coming, did you? You're balanced, Ben. Of course you are. Look what you've been doing the past two years."
"But-"
"Ben," she interrupted him. "It's the Now that counts, right? You chose not to crack your crystal and so rejected the Dark, yet you can't say you're without it. Like I'm not without it. If not because of your past, then because you don't have any lofty ideal of 'the greater good' and 'pure of mind and soul'." She gave a small shudder at her own words. "We both know that there's no such thing as purity. If the Force is balance, then why pick a side?
"You've denounced the Dark yet do not ignore its existence. You've turned to the Light, yet realised that its beauty only exists because of its counterpart. How can you not be balanced? You've learned when to bend the rules and when to be ruthless. Look at what happened when Andrea came. You didn't let things slide, neither did you ruthlessly enforce the rules.
"Of course you're balanced, Ben. Of course."
Kylo extinguished his saber and wrapped his arms around Rey, burying his head in her hair. He took a shuddering breath and hid his face even more as he realised he was crying. His grip around her was too tight, he knew, but he needed something to anchor him and she didn't complain.
"I'm not… I can't be…"
"The crystal doesn't lie," came Rey's slightly muffled answer. "You've come such a long way."
Kylo didn't know how long they stood there while he tried to pull himself together again. Purple. He hadn't even contemplated the option. He couldn't see how he was even worthy of it, despite Rey's assurances. The things he'd done…
But maybe exactly because he'd done them and recognised them for what they were? He didn't explain them away as a necessity to maintain the order, or some greater good, for that matter. He didn't consider those things something that could be excused because he thought of them as a regrettable but unavoidable means to an end. Every decision he made carried with it the responsibility over many lives. Lives that were important and not collateral damage. That's what he used to think, but no more.
"Purple," he muttered.
Rey laughed. "Yes, purple," she repeated. "We match now."
He pulled out of their hug to clip his saber to his belt and cup her face with both hands. "It's all because of you."
"Nonsense," Rey protested even though she immediately started blushing. "You are the one who changed, Ben, not me."
"But I wouldn't have been able to do it without you," he insisted.
"Or Phasma, or Ember," Rey countered. "And Derek, and Hux even."
Kylo shook his head at her. "It was never them I thought about when I had to make a decision I was uncertain of," he said. "That was always you."
"Ben," Rey now whined, covering her face with her hands. "Don't be such a sap."
Kylo chuckled and pulled her back into a hug. "I mean it though," he said after a moment. "You changed my life."
"So did you," Rey answered. "Even if it was by trying to blast apart my little corner of Jakku."
He laughed, the last of the tension due to the surprise and following emotional turmoil flowing out of him. "Well, it got your attention."
"It sure did."
"What time is it?"
"I don't know," Rey answered, stepping back. "Flock?" As the little droid obediently told them the hour, Rey hummed. "There's still some time before dinner. Do you want to test out this new saber of yours?"
Kylo nodded. "The weight distribution is different," he said. "We're not sparring with our sabers until I have it fully under control."
Rey mock-pouted. "And here I was, hoping to see what would happen when two purple sabers clash."
"Pretty sparks," Flock helpfully offered.
Rey huffed a laugh, not looking away from Kylo. "Pretty sparks indeed," she said.
He pulled her in for a short kiss before they left the shop. Phasma merely glanced at the saber on Kylo's belt but didn't comment.
The next morning, everybody assembled in Kylo's office for their regular meeting. He was nervous, wondering about how the others would respond when he told them about his new saber. He wasn't even entirely sure about how to start the explanation.
"Your saber changed," Ember said as soon as the door closed behind them all.
Kylo chuckled. Of course Ember would immediately notice something had changed. At least it made things easier for him.
"Yes," he said, unclipping his saber from his belt and holding it out for all to see. "Rey figured that, given that we're starting a new Force order that's neither Jedi nor Sith, I might want a saber unrelated to both as well. She asked Derek to find a kyber crystal and he did."
He smiled at Rey, who grinned back. "I agreed," he said. "After some thinking, I realised she was right, although I didn't want to start from scratch. This is my old saber rebuilt with a new crystal inside."
"That's what you did yesterday," Hux commented.
"Indeed," Kylo agreed. "Yesterday morning I connected with the new crystal and in the afternoon I rebuilt my saber."
He gazed at his saber, losing himself in thought. Rey stepped up.
"Do any of you know the meaning of the saber's colours?" she asked.
"Sir told me some of it when he met you to make your saber," Phasma answered. "Yours means you are balanced with the Force, does it not?"
"Indeed," Rey answered, unclipping her own saber and motioning everybody to step back before she ignited it. "Dark and Light are balanced within me," she said. "I know both and deny neither."
"And yours, sir?" Phasma asked, undoubtedly having been dying to know since the evening before.
Rey nudged him slightly with his elbow and Kylo sighed, bracing himself and activating his saber.
"Purple," Ember muttered.
"You became balanced?" Hux said in a voice heavy with disbelief.
"Apparently," Kylo answered.
"Congratulations, sir," Phasma said.
Kylo looked up at her, hearing the emotion in her voice even though she was still wearing her helmet.
"Thank you, Phasma," he earnestly answered.
"It would be neat if you could make a staff out of those," Derek absentmindedly commented.
Both Kylo and Rey looked at him, then down at their sabers, then at each other.
"It wouldn't be effective," Rey said. "Our grips have a different width and the balance would be off."
Kylo hummed in agreement.
"It would be quite the symbol though," Hux offered. "Union between your two sabers."
"Will the new Force users get sabers?" Ember questioned.
Kylo shook his head. "No. Kyber crystals are too difficult to find after the mines got destroyed. Trying to find a good one for each incoming Force user would be unsustainable, even if we eventually discount those not wanting to become fighters."
"You're the last two Force users to ever have sabers then," Phasma said.
"It would be symbolic indeed if those last two sabers, both of balanced Force users, could form a single weapon," Derek mused.
"Do you think it's possible?" Kylo asked Rey.
She knew more about improvising with what she had than he, after all. He worked from schemes and set components.
Rey turned her saber off and looked at the back of the handle. "Probably," she answered. "With a simple click-in-place system and magnets to hold it there. It's not like it has to be resilient through battle. It's going to shift the weight though, or make the saber heavier in general if we counter with an equal weight at the front. And I don't know if or how the magnets would influence the crystals."
"We have to cancel the magnets or put them far away enough from the crystals."
"Or create a stronger locking system so that the magnets aren't needed."
"But that would add weight."
"If it's the same weight as the magnet, a locking system is better."
"Do you have any ideas or are you going to pull schematics from the database?"
"I'll ask Karina. No doubt she-"
A cough from Phasma pulled them back into the room. Rey turned bright red as Kylo coughed away his embarrassment.
"Right," he said. "We're going to look into that possibility," he let them know. "It would be purely symbolic though, not a staff functional for combat."
"No, that indeed wouldn't work," Phasma commented. "As you said, the different grips mean you wouldn't be able to comfortably use it, same with the balance not being centered."
"This new order of yours," Hux said, changing topics. "Does it have a name?"
Kylo blinked at him, then looked down at Rey. She seemed equally caught off-guard by the question.
"We haven't exactly thought about that yet," Kylo admitted. "Anybody have any ideas?"
"You're asking us for ideas on how to name your order?" Ember asked, incredulous.
"Why not," Rey countered with a shrug. "It's only a name."
"One the entire galaxy will know," Ember exclaimed.
"It better be a good one then," Kylo said.
Phasma huffed a laugh.
"We're doing this now?" Hux asked, sounding equally as incredulous as Ember.
"Now is as good a time as any," Kylo agreed. "So, ideas?"
They all fell silent, staring at Kylo and Rey with perplexed gazes.
"Force Alliance?" Derek carefully ventured.
"They're not exactly allying themselves with anybody, are they?" Ember countered. "Unless you count the Resistance."
"Which we don't," Rey curtly said.
"We are allying ourselves with the Force though," Kylo said.
There was a moment of silence, then both Kylo and Rey shook their heads.
"It's not exactly right," Rey said, apologetic.
"A Union then?" Phasma asked. "The Force Union?"
"That's…" Kylo started.
"A bit too generic," Rey finished.
"United Force System," Kylo said.
Rey slapped his chest. "We're not a system, Ben. At least I hope not. We're supposed to be more humane than that."
"That does sound like something very rigid," Ember agreed with Rey.
"Force Regime would have the same issue, wouldn't it?" Rey said.
The group nodded.
"Galactic Force Confederation," Derek offered.
"Too political," Phasma said.
"It also implies we would exist of multiple groups," Kylo muttered, thinking hard himself but coming up with no ideas.
"Force Alliance of Trust and Equanimity," Hux solemnly said.
The entire group turned to look at him with various looks of incomprehension. Kylo was about to comment that was quite pompous and a mouthful when, much to his surprise, Hux rolled his eyes.
"FATE," Hux said.
"Oooh!" Rey exclaimed. "Oooh, I didn't notice that. I like it." She turned towards Kylo. "I like that it spells FATE."
Kylo smiled at her. "It was fate that bonded us, that's for sure," he said. "Snoke's attempt at claiming the honour for himself be damned."
"It's trust in each other that got you to this point," Phasma said.
"And trust in you all as well," Rey added to that.
"Equanimity is what you strive for in the future," Derek said.
"While we are allied with the Force," Kylo said.
"The Force Alliance of Trust and Equanimity," Ember muttered. "Also known as FATE."
Kylo felt a sense of certainty well up in his chest. It felt right. He looked at Rey and saw the same emotions reflected on her face. She nodded at him with a wide smile.
"The Force Alliance of Trust and Equanimity," he repeated. "We have a name."
A moment of solemn silence fell over them until Rey suddenly giggled. They all looked at her.
"Fantastically Awesome and Totally Epic," she said, bursting into giggles again.
Kylo chuckled, then full-on laughed. Soon, the others joined in. It was with a light heart and renewed determination that they moved on to other topics.
xXxXxXx
AN: Every single name that's proposed for the new order, including the one that's decided upon and the one Rey jokingly says at the end, are fully credited to my beta Sirenbanshee. She came up with all of them and I stand amazed.
