Briar wakes up early to the sound of raised voices though she cannot make out the words. She is warm for the first time in weeks, even though winter has hardly started but it has been the coldness that comes from waking in a too large smial with no one else to keep her company rather than the chill of the weather that has caused her discomfort. Her stomach grumbles briefly, again for the first time in a long time, and she starts to consider getting out of bed only to discard the idea entirely when an arm tightens about her waist and pulls her closer against the body behind her.
Kíli.
Having Kíli back in Bag End is far more soothing to her frayed soul than she wants to admit. Losing her mother had been hard, even though it has been coming for a long time, she has never been all that close to her family and losing Belladonna had simply isolated her further. Briar's Took relations are a little over a day's travel away, though it is faster by pony and a trip she has made a few times in the past, and although her Baggins relations are all found in the Hobbiton area she has always been a little bit too like her mother to get along with them well. Having Kíli around, especially as Nori has come with him, is the balm that she has so desperately needed to soothe that loneliness. He had made her mother's passing easier in the beginning, making sure that she ate and drank, fielding those relatives who tried to swoop in and impose upon her in her grief. But for all of that, for all his seeming love and care, Briar had found herself unable to truly grieve with him around. Their relationship, such as it is, is really still in the amorphous in between stage. They are courting, if secretly due to the awkward timing of his request, but no courtship Briar has heard of has included stolen kisses or nights sleeping beside one another.
Only sleeping, thank you, although there is perhaps a little bit of kissing and wandering hands. Not that Briar has to justify herself, of course, and the only person she has left who she is really concerned about judging the situation is Nori, who would probably shrug it off and tell the hobbit not to do anything that the dwarf would not. Which leaves an awful lot of mischief for Briar to get up to and her mind shudders away from the things that Nori has probably done in her time. It sometimes amazes her that they get along so well when they are so very different as people. That said, Briar is hardly normal for a hobbit and while she has friends among her people she sometimes finds that she is altogether too Tookish for them to fully understand her. She should have realised that when her heart found its match it would never have been a hobbit.
Briar snuggles a little closer still to Kíli, who lets out a soft snore and pulls her tighter against him. She could stay like this forever; warm, safe, protected. Loved? She believes so although Kíli has never explicitly said it. She hardly really knows what her own feelings are, jumbled up as they are in her grief and the fact that she only really sees him for a few months every couple of years. Yet those few months always seem to fly by in a haze of quiet joy and contentment, while the ones where they are apart seem to drag by with muted colours and little in the way of joy and excitement.
More voices drift through the heavy wooden barrier that is her bedroom door, reminding her that she has guests she should be tending to. It turns her mind to Kíli's other companions. Nori, of course, she knows well and she has enough familiarity with Fíli to have been happy to see him even though they have not seen each other for a little over six years. The blond has hardly changed, he has grown a little broader, his beard is a little fuller if still kept fairly shortly cropped. He is much of a tease as she remembers, greeting her with a flirty wink and a bow, and he is clearly enamoured of Hela. Hela is one that Briar is not so certain of. She has heard a lot about the dwarf lass and not all of it has necessarily been complimentary on Kíli's part. Now she wonders if the younger dwarf prince had simply been jealous of his brother's attention, or concerned that they were growing apart with Fíli's romance and Kíli's apprenticeship. Either way, she resolves to watch the silver-haired Hela during their stay. More for her own peace of mind than anything else.
It does not hurt to be wary of strangers.
That makes her thoughts turn to Dwalin. The large dwarf is almost exactly as Briar had imagined him when Nori had told her about him a few years before. He is intimidating at first glance, his voice gruff with the same deep and rolling lilt that Kíli's has when he is playing the role of Cadan, but there is a gentleness to the way that he behaves around his companions that is reassuring. Briar can admit, however, that had she come across him alone he would have made her incredibly nervous.
Eventually the rumble of her stomach intrudes once more to remind her that she has guests and a need to eat. She slips out of bed, having slept in a clean chemise rather than a heavy nightdress, and slips on her stays, a light shirt, skirt and bodice. Irritatingly, her clothes are still in shades of purple, black and grey, and they are not colours that are overly flattering on her but until the mourning year is over her wardrobe will consist of mourning colours. Idly she spends that time longing for the simple trousers and shirts that she had worn on the road, but for the moment she needs to keep the image of being everything prim and proper in a hobbit lass. She has enough to contend with having inherited so much from both of her parents. The last thing she needs is to give any of her family a reason to contest it all by appearing as flighty and difficult as her mother had once been. Which will mean lingering in the Shire for a time until she can come up with some sort of legitimate business to take her to Ered Luin. She is sure that if she mentions it to Nori her dwarf sister will be able to come up with something.
"Good night?" Nori smirks as Briar wanders into the kitchen, the bitter scent of freshly brewed coffee hitting her nose.
"Wouldn't you like to know?" The hobbit fires back cheerfully, though her cheeks flare.
Nori cackles gleefully, the sound of it increasing as Briar's stomach reminds her, once again, that it is waiting to be fed.
"Worked up an appetite too from the sound of things," the dwarf continues, already opening a paper wrapped package of bacon to put into the large cast iron pan that she has placed on the stove. "Good, you need a bit of meat back on you."
By the time that Briar and Nori have pulled together a decent breakfast, and Briar has made a note of everything that she will need to go to the market to buy, the others have emerged from their rooms. Kíli looks as tousled as ever, the simple braids he had been wearing the day before replaced with the more severe look that Briar associates with Cadan. Fíli stumps in a short time later, his expression set and slightly wary as he watches Hela slip in after him. There is a distance between the two of them which had not been there the night before and Briar wonders at it, though she suspects that they are the source of those raised voices earlier, and that her concern over Hela's awareness of Cadan's existence had triggered the argument.
Breakfast is a quiet affair, aside from Kíli none of the others appear to be morning people which suits Briar right down to the ground. She has never been much of a morning person either. While they are eating, however, the subject of the two carts laden with dwarf goods comes up.
"You'd probably be better taking it to Michel Delving," Briar says to Nori once she has looked over the basic inventory, "they're more accustomed to dealing with the dwarven traders than we are in Hobbiton. That said, old Mrs Braithwaite will probably happily take several of those bolts of wool cloth from you, and Mr Tatum will take the oilskin. Our own lasts well enough, but we know that the dwarf make lasts better. And they might take some of these barrels and things in the Green Dragon in Bywater. I'll take you around this morning and introduce you to a few people to see what you can sell. You'll be on your own in Michel Delving, though, I'm not as familiar with the merchants there."
"We'll work it out," Nori shrugs it off. "Just need to get the funds sorted to cover us storing the other three carts in Bree for the winter. Not looking to turn too much of a profit, really."
"It's a risk my father took every time he took to the road with a caravan," Hela tells her, a familiar catch in her voice at the mention of her parent. "We always know that the late season caravans can hit bad weather and be delayed in some village or another until spring. If not the weather there's always the risk of raiding parties delaying us and stealing our goods. He planned for things like this. As long as we can cover the expense of winter we should break even with what's in the other three carts."
Briar looks at the silver-haired dwarf for a long moment then nods. She recognises the tired eyes and carefully neutral expression well from having seen it on her own face all too often in the mirror of late, and again on Nori's when her dwarf sister had believed herself unobserved during their first year of travel together. She does not bother to tell Hela that she understands the risk of trade perfectly well, since much of her land is dedicated to producing those crops that can be sold across the Shire and further afield, it is not something that the dwarf would be aware of and not something that Briar likes to advertise either.
Ultimately, all five of the dwarves decide to come with her into Hobbiton and then on to Bywater. They are not all needed, but Briar suspects that none of them really want to separate. Besides, the more of them that there are, the easier it will be to unload those things that they want to sell. The advantages of having so many dwarves with her are not lost on Briar. Her trip takes less time than she had thought, the other hobbits are more nervous of the dwarves even though Kíli and Nori are familiar to them. Some of those who remember Kíli approach to talk with him briefly, cheerfully inviting him for a drink in the Dragon so that they can hear about his adventures. He accepts with Cadan's lilting brogue and open smile. It is not as bright as the ones that he directs at her when they are alone, or among those who know who Kíli really is, but light enough to be convincing. If not for his occasional fumbles when it has been just the two of them Briar would wonder whether he has been playing her for a fool.
In the end her friends do well out of their trip into the market. It is market day, a fact that had slipped Briar's mind as the days have since her mother's passing, and after a brief discussion Nori and Dwalin uncover one of the wagons and set up at one end. The weather is good for early winter, just brisk enough to keep the hobbits moving relatively quickly under their thicker woolen coats and cloaks, but not so cold to have them racing through their errands so that they can get home. Soon enough Nori and Dwalin have quite the crowd around them examining the bolts of fabric, sampling a small cask of ale that has been broached for the occasion and sniffing at jars of preserves.
Fíli and Kíli are roped in to help keep track of everything, and the presence of the friendly young Cadan who has shown so much interest in young Miss Briar-Rose Baggins seems to draw in larger crowds still. To his credit, Kíli shows just how well he has come to know the hobbits of the area by addressing those he has met before by name and asking the kind of leading questions that help him to make a sale. It lends some credence to the idea that they have planted about him being a bit of a travelling merchant trying to make his start in life and Briar slips away to leave them to their trading so that she can order what she needs to replenish her already partially decimated pantry.
"I'll help," she hears Hela say as the dwarrowdam, as Nori calls them, approaches from behind. "The least we can do is contribute."
"You're my guests," Briar objects, "I could never ask my guests to contribute for themselves."
"Mistress Baggins," the dwarf objects and Briar winces.
"If you promise never to call me that again," she says to Hela, "then I'll let you pay for some of the food."
"So long as you call me Hela in return, Briar, we have an agreement."
Briar beams up at her companion, and next to every single one of these dwarves she feels tiny and delicate. They tower over every hobbit around them, even Hela who is the shortest of the five, and it is odd to feel so small when Briar is accustomed to being considered tall for one of her people. While most hobbits meander about the market, basket over their arm as they greet friends and acquaintances, chat with stall owners and drift in and out of the more permanent shops, Briar moves about the place with quick efficiency, going only where she needs to and stopping for as short a time as possible. Every now and then someone or another will ask her how she is doing in her too big smial, they will throw pretty platitudes her way and offer to send their sons or brothers over to help her with any heavy lifting should she need it. Every time Briar will smile and shake her head with thanks, assure them that the Gamgees have been everything that she has needed in gardeners and handy hobbits who know the right people to put her in contact with if anything goes wrong that they cannot fix for themselves. She introduces Hela as a travelling friend of Cadan's who is courting his childhood best friend. That raises a few eyebrows, hobbits not been known for forming same sex relationships openly although everyone knows someone who has, and she wonders at it before remembering that dressed as the dwarf is in her trousers, tunic and coat, and with her beard neatly braided Hela must look as male as any other bearded stranger does even though Briar has learnt to notice the slightly more delicate build that is found in female dwarves.
"May I ask you something?" Hela says as they pause for a moment at a stall where the smell of roasting chestnuts has tempted them away from their shopping momentarily.
"You may," Briar agrees, "so long as you understand that I may refuse to answer."
"Naturally," Hela agrees, "I would have no business demanding any sort of answer from you, but I fear you are the only one who can answer my question honestly, even accounting for your own bias in the situation." Briar nods around a chestnut. "How long have you known Kí… Cadan?"
"Since the day before Nori took him on as her apprentice," Briar replies. "I take it they told you about that last night?"
"This morning," Hela glances away. "You might have heard the shouting.
"I did," Briar confirms, "but I confess I was far too happy and comfortable where I was to investigate. I trusted Nori to deal with it if it became a problem."
"You trust her a very great deal?"
"She's never given me reason not to," Briar shakes her head. "Nor has Cadan if you want to get into that. There are differences to who he is out here and who he is in the smial, but in essentials he's much as he ever has been. You're unhappy that they kept it from you?"
"I understand that it was on Thorin's orders," Hela admits, "but there are things that I said to him that I would never have dared to had I known!"
"I rather think that's the point," Briar points out. "My understanding is that he'll take over from Nori when she retires. He can hardly do what he needs to in order to keep his family safe if he makes a production about it all, you know."
"I do, but to ask him how it feels to be craftless!" Hela exclaims. "I feel like a complete fool."
"You'll forgive me if I'm blunt," Briar draws herself up a little, "but your pride does not come into this one bit. I can hardly imagine how difficult it is for those lads to keep up such an act when they're home, I'd imagine Fíli was relieved that a reason to tell you about Cadan had come up. I can tell you from experience that it is a heavy secret to carry, and one that I chose no less. I suspect, given Fíli's status, you have many such revelations in your future, and I'm sure more than one of those will serve to dent your pride a little bit more. I will not betray Kíli's confidences, it isn't my place, but I will tell you that there are those in his family who would prefer he have no craft at all and who frequently, and thoughtlessly, remind him of that. I'd also remind you that without his training, Fíli might already be dead. So before you judge the secrets, think of the benefits that have come from them."
"I meant no offence," Hela soothes. "Truly, I had considered some of your points before I spoke of it to you. When we are on the road it is easy to forget who, and what, Fíli truly is. To be reminded of it so starkly in this peaceful place upset me more than I wished to admit. I knew Cadan had used the name and disguise in the past, but to be honest I had failed to put any real thought into it beyond that. The fault is mine, and will serve to remind me to pay more attention in future. I am pleased to see that he has such a staunch defender, that fire will serve you well when you meet his mother."
"Or it'll get me locked up," Briar grins.
"Given the stories I've heard," Hela sighs, "I wouldn't put it past her. I'm still not entirely sure where I stand."
"Right now? In the mud," the hobbit looks down, "and my feet are starting to get chilled. Time to call it a day, I think, and I could use a cup of tea."
A.N: So I figured that, 80 chapters in, it was finally time for us to hear from Briar. That and Nori wasn't talking to me. Now that I've eaten through my buffer updates are moving to an as and when basis (although I'm still hoping for twice a week), especially as it's now the school holidays and the kids are off for six week. Fun times. But then, I find that I tend to get more done when the kids are off since I can't do a lot of the DIY stuff that I normally handle.
