Fair warning, I'm posting this chapter after staying up all night. It's my fault for wanting to stay up all night to finish playing another Mod of Doki Doki Literature Club. I should hopefully be taking a nap after I post this. But um...
Warning: Do not read this and expect to feel good.
Chapter Twenty-Seven: Meltdown
Naofumi wasn't feeling well.
After the attack on their village, and after they'd cremated the dead, he and the other Heroes had to portal their parties to the castle along with the remaining survivors.
Naofumi learned during that time that the familiars were the likely reason why there hadn't been many monsters seen outside the village in recent days. The forest was normally home to many different monsters. And the familiars had used them as breeding grounds to produce many, many more of themselves. With the risk of more hatching and attacking again while the Heroes were gone, it was prudent to get everyone else to safety.
Only a couple of hours after their village had been attacked, the Heroes left and traveled in different directions, going out to hunt more of the Spirit Tortoise's familiars that were attacking the other villages and towns around Melromarc. Filo was pulling her carriage as fast as she could as she traveled north, with Naofumi holding the reins.
Through that night, they came across several villages in the process of being attacked by more of the bat-like familiars along with a new, stronger yeti-type breed that was harder to put down. The knights and townspeople of each town were desperately trying to fend them off.
Naofumi found that, much like with the first attack, they ignored the buildings and targeted the weakest people. Old men. Children. Low leveled adults.
Naofumi had to defend against many different attacks. He had to block heat beams, grab bats, block large fists, and summon skills to trap the familiars. More than a few times, he forced their attention on him via Hate Reaction.
If he'd only been able to use that skill back at the village...
As the sun rose, Naofumi finally portaled back to the Capital. He first checked on those who'd survived the previous night, but he was silent during it. It was like he was just going through the motions.
Jerry was fine. The Apothecarian and Witch were both ok. Many of the kids, though scarred once again, were doing well. Even Keel was doing his best to sound upbeat despite their bleak situation and the fact that he remained bedridden for a few days because of his injuries. Granny also remained unharmed and was spending most of her time entertaining the young ones.
But Naofumi hardly registered what any of them had said. It was like he was making a checkmark on some mental list by visiting with them. In fact, he couldn't even recall what Granny had been doing to entertain the kids. Did it mean that it wasn't important or something? Were the kids actually doing okay?
He'd been doing so well at noticing what was happening around him lately too. He wanted to make sure that everyone important was included... yet he couldn't recall...
He was now approaching the Queen's war room, where he'd been tasked with meeting up with Her Majesty as well as the other heroes. Yet he couldn't think, he couldn't even feel.
What would happen if he felt something? Would the world stop again? Would everything go wrong a second time? A third time?...
A pair of knights pushed open the double doors in front of him and he entered the large conference room.
The other Heroes were already there, talking with the Queen and some of her Knight Captains. The Shield Hero briefly noticed King Trash sitting in a nearby chair. Everyone stopped speaking when they saw Naofumi enter.
"Sir Naofumi, how are things in the north?" Mirellia asked tersely after a short pause.
…
Naofumi slowly took a seat next to Motoyasu. "I… we killed most of the familiars attacking the towns there." He finally managed to say. "But more of them are likely to show up soon."
Mirellia nodded her head. "Then let us make this quick. Sir Ren, Itsuki, Motoyasu, as you've shown to know what we're facing, can you please fill me and my Captains in on the kind of threat we're dealing with here?"
Motoyasu still looked dead inside. Ren gulped nervously and shuffled in his seat. In the end, it was Itsuki who had to explain what the presence of the familiars meant. And with each word leaving his lips the atmosphere in the room grew only more tense and grim.
"Are you certain that these monsters come from the Legendary Guardian Beast?" Mirellia eventually asked.
"Yes, we're certain that it's where they're coming from, Your Majesty," Motoyasu spoke out before Itsuki could reply. His voice was low and his fists were clenched tightly.
"Hmmm... Tell me more about these familiars then." Mirellia folded her fan, setting it on the table.
"They attack areas where large groups of people live," Ren spoke up. "They also don't attack those who are stronger than them. At least, not until the weaker people are killed first."
"Do you know why they do that?" Mirellia pressed further.
Itsuki, Ren, and Motoyasu shared a look. "I don't believe we ever learned that detail in our worlds, I'm sorry, Your Majesty," Motoyasu stated honestly.
That was just how the creatures had worked in their games.
"Our best guess is that it's because they're parasitic. They need a host in order to produce more of themselves. It'd make sense to target a weaker person first, but how they know which ones are weak..." Itsuki shook his head. He couldn't think of a reason how they knew, only that they had some ability that allowed them to know. "Their heat beams are also dangerous, but what you really need to watch out for is them landing on you. That's when they'll lay their eggs. If you don't treat the resulting wound, the victim will die as more of these familiars burst out from their body."
"I… I saw that happen to some of my own men." One of the Knight Captains at the table looked like Naofumi. He was staring vacantly at the table in front of him, still in shock at what he'd witnessed. "It was terrible. I'd never imagined that such monsters could ever exist."
"And it's not just people. These familiars will attack monsters too. Wild or tamed." Itsuki continued. "If they're not dealt with quickly, we could be looking at not only a loss of monsters to level with but an innumerous horde of these familiars ravaging the land and destroying towns just like… like the horde that attacked our village." He stated glumly.
Mirellia frowned. "This paints an even grimmer picture than I could have possibly imagined." It also lined up with what little knowledge she could recall about the legendary Spirit Tortoise from legends.
"It's not entirely hopeless, however," Ren spoke up again. "As long as we gather the people into secure shelters and are smart about attacking the familiars, they should be easy to deal with." It'd be much easier to attack them with large-scale crowd control skills without worrying about people getting caught in the cross-fire. That had been their main issue last night in trying to fight the invading horde.
"And the Spirit Tortoise itself?" Mirellia finally asked the most pressing question.
"The Familiars were sent out in our games as a sign that the Tortoise could be awakened. Could being the keyword here. As long as we don't destroy a certain statue at the shrine of the Spirit Tortoise, the Guardian Beast shouldn't wake up." Itsuki answered with some relief in his voice.
"Yeah, if we just get rid of its familiars, the beast itself won't wake." Ren agreed. The two remembered the Spirit Tortoise being equivalent to a raid boss in their games. However, unlike the Wave raid bosses, it was optional to wake the Beast up. You could just as well let it sleep after dealing with the familiars that it would send out. Most players would only wake it up when they needed the unique and valuable materials that it dropped.
However, this wasn't like their games. The Guardian Beast was massive. If they woke it up, entire countries would get destroyed before they could stop it.
"I agree. It'd be far better to deal with its minions and leave the beast itself be for now." Itsuki nodded.
"Very well. If we don't need to worry about it, then-" Mirellia began to speak when the Spear Hero suddenly stood up in his seat.
"Are you guys seriously saying that we should just leave it alone?" Motoyasu slammed a fist into the table in front of him.
...
The Bow Hero sighed. "We already discussed this beforehand, Motoyasu. Even you agreed that you had to destroy a certain statue in order to wake up the Spirit Tortoise."
"Yeah, it might not be the same statue, but the fact that we all agreed it required destroying a statue to break the seal on the Tortoise means it might-" Ren started to say.
"But what if our gaming knowledge is wrong?!" Motoyasu cut Ren off. "What if, while we're out dealing with its minions, the Spirit Tortoise wakes up and goes on a rampage anyway?!"
The two younger Heroes went silent, staring at the Spear Hero as he continued. "Yeah, I could be wrong and maybe the statues do need to be destroyed first. But what if I'm right?! We're talking about tens of thousands, possibly hundreds of thousands of people that'd die before we could even reach them!"
"But if you're wrong and we let the familiars go unchecked, then they will die regardless," Itsuki argued back. "We have to deal with the immediate threat before it becomes too large for us to handle!"
"Plus, why should we even consider what you think? You won't even share your strengthening methods with us." Ren said, anger in his tone.
"Because it isn't supposed to be that easy to get stronger!" Motoyasu argued back. "That wasn't how it worked in my game! Besides, you guys are already strong enough to solo wave bosses by yourselves! What difference would it make?!"
"Didn't you just tell us that the Spirit Tortoise awakening might not be like in our games?!" Itsuki slammed his fist into the table. "Why can't this be the same thing?!"
"I just want to make sure that it doesn't wake up so lots of people won't die!" Motoyasu stood up, glaring at Itsuki.
"And we want to keep even more people from dying to the familiars! If we had your methods, it'd be far easier to protect everyone!" Ren stood up at the same time as Itsuki. Both Heroes glared at the Spear Hero. "Or have you forgotten about all the people who died in our village because you're too weak?!"
Scowls were visible on all three of their faces. Naofumi merely watched, numb to what was going on.
"ENOUGH!" Mirellia slammed her fan on the table, grabbing their attention. "We are wasting our time with this pointless bickering. I called you all here to gather knowledge on what we're dealing with, NOT to start a fight while my people are dying!"
…
Looks of sorrow and guilt washed over the faces of the Three Heroes. They sat back down as Mirellia asked them more questions on the Spirit Tortoise and its familiars as well as strategies for how they could safely handle them.
Some they answered, others they just shook their head in confusion, not really having an answer. Mirellia at the least expanded on Ren's idea by having the citizens move into a heavily fortified area. The discussion also included having traps and other things prepared to help the knights against the familiars.
Naofumi just continued to sit there. It was like a part of him was listening to the conversation, but another part of him was out fighting those familiars. And yet a third part, one he didn't want to acknowledge, was back at their village.
On his knees on a stone platform, staring in horror as he allowed carnage around him to happen without doing a single thing about it.
…
"Sir Naofumi."
Naofumi looked across the table at Mirellia. Her fan was down, revealing her worried face. "I plan on marching my army towards Siltvelt to make contact with our allies there and to provide whatever assistance they need, before marching towards the country of the Spirit Tortoise while you and the other Heroes deal with the familiars here. There is also a Wave happening in Melromarc soon.
"I need to ask. Should I send the Heroes ahead to check on the Guardian Beast, or should I keep you focused on dealing with its familiars and the coming Wave so I can focus on reaching out and helping our allies?"
"Your Majesty, with all due respect," Motoyasu interjected. "An army would be too slow. By the time you'd get there, it could be too late."
"But unless one of us is around, you'd need an army to safely deal with the familiars." Itsuki countered Motoyasu's point, making him grimace. "Plus, with a large force, Mirellia would be able to drag a lot of the familiars in and deal with them on her way to Siltvelt and then the Spirit Tortoise. That'd be one large part of the country that we wouldn't have to worry about."
"But an army might not be strong enough to go up against the Spirit Tortoise by itself," Motoyasu muttered. "When it wakes up..."
"If it wakes up." Ren corrected.
"..." Motoyasu looked down at the table, his fists clenching at his sides. "Naofumi, please." He pleaded.
…
Naofumi was silent for a moment. He wished it was because he was thinking over how to answer. But he couldn't bring himself to think. Thinking would only… only…
"I… I just want to protect whoever I can right now." Naofumi finally muttered. "If it saves the lives of more people for us to remain here, then let's do that."
Ren and Itsuki nodded in agreement. Motoyasu hung his head in defeat. "It's decided then. Captains, begin gathering your men. We will begin our march by first light tomorrow."
"Yes, Your Majesty." The various men got up, saluting their Queen before running off to fulfill her orders.
"Naofumi, please!" Motoyasu started begging. "You have to agree with me! If we don't go ahead, a lot of people will die!"
"... and if we don't stay behind… a lot of people will die too," Naofumi replied blandly.
The Shield Hero gave Motoyasu a tired look. "The others already said it. If you actually believed us and shared your methods, last night wouldn't have happened. The three of you could have been more than enough to protect everyone while I was… indisposed."
Motoyasu's fists clenched so tightly, his knuckles turned white. "That isn't what matters right now! We have to protect those people-"
"I doubt it." Naofumi suddenly spoke. "You don't actually care about protecting 'people', don't you? Why else would you keep your methods to yourself?
"A simp like you? You only want to protect the ladies so they'll feel they owe you something. It's no wonder all our knights died that night. Maybe if they'd been females, you would have actually been more helpful..."
The Shield Hero realized then that something was rising in him, that he was starting to feel. So he quickly forced it back down.
But the damage had already been done.
Motoyasu looked hurt. Flecks of tears could be seen in the corners of his bright orange eyes. "You… you really think that I'm only saying this to try and save some random girl I've never met?"
... Naofumi didn't answer him, only looking off to the side.
"I failed them last night, you know? I cared about Tommy, about Mack, about everyone there. I failed all of those men... they died, protecting our people! And you think I didn't care about them?!" Motoyasu gripped tightly onto his spear, before glaring at the other Heroes.
"Screw you all! You didn't know them as I did!"
Without another word, Motoyasu turned around and stormed out of the room.
"Should one of us try to…" Ren started to ask but trailed off.
Itsuki shook his head. "He'll get over it. Right now, we have other people that need us."
The Sword Hero eventually nodded. "Right. Let's go then. We'll see you later, Naofumi."
The Shield Hero didn't respond, and the other two Heroes left. Outside, bright flashes of light could be seen briefly, signaling the use of the legendary weapons to teleport away.
"Sir Naofumi," Mirellia spoke out. It was just the two of them left now. Well, the two of them and Trash. But the man had been sitting in his seat, oddly silent the whole time.
In a way, both of them were in a similar state of mind right now. Only, Naofumi could still talk. Unlike the King, who simply stared blankly into space.
"What is it?" Naofumi asked quietly.
Mirellia opened her mouth as if to say something. Then she closed it again, thinking some more.
"I just wanted to say that… I am willing to house the people of your village in my castle for as long as necessary… and that the Sword and Bow Heroes have informed me about what happened to you last night. Can you… can you still fight?"
That felt like a loaded question. Mirellia was staring him in the eye as if checking to make sure if he was lying or not.
…
"Does it matter, Your Majesty?" Naofumi muttered tiredly. His head hung low. "Those monsters attacked us in the middle of our celebration, while everyone was completely off guard… and I didn't do a single thing. A single, damn thing."
"I didn't make a move to defend anyone. I just sat there, and I cried. I couldn't do anything because… because I..."
The numbness began to fade again. He thought he'd feel sadness, grief, loss… but no.
What he felt was a large, ugly, pitted, vein of anger. At the world or at himself, he didn't know. But it was there. It was throbbing painfully, yearning to be let out. A bit of that hatred reached Naofumi's eyes. "But I can't sit back and do nothing now!"
He couldn't get angry. Fitoria had told him to keep his anger in check. He'd seen what happened when Itsuki lost control. He'd wanted to be a better friend to others. He wanted to be something Raphtalia could be proud of. But he couldn't stay stuck here! That'd only make things worse, and...
Trash stirred in his seat, looking at the Shield Hero. He said nothing, but the sympathetic look in his eyes only infuriated Naofumi even more. Memories of Trash writing him off on the first day came to mind alongside memories of the Sacred Duel, of the Trial, of dealing with all the crap that the King sent after him!
The older man's head fell to look at the table again, and Naofumi strained in his seat. It was like he was trying to put a lid over a boiling volcano. A volcano that was about to blow. Trash didn't even do anything to him and the Shield Hero felt like he was about to lose it!
This was bad. This was really, really bad.
"Your Majesty, I must go," Naofumi said, trying to keep his voice as level as possible.
"... Yes, likewise, I must make sure that my husband is ready for this journey as well." Mirellia saw where Naofumi's gaze had traveled. She realized keeping the Shield Hero in the castle might not be a very good idea right now.
Naofumi quickly stood up. "Sir Naofumi." He stopped in the doorway as Mirellia spoke one last time.
"Please, don't push yourself too hard." She said with all the care in the world.
He didn't respond as he turned around and ran out.
He didn't know how long he ran for, or when he had used his Portal Shield. All he knew was that one moment, he'd been running along the streets of the Capital, pushing past the early hubbub of the morning, and then the next, he was running through some random village up north.
His party was gathered around Filo's wagon in the town square. Unlike him, they'd taken this moment to rest up. Now, they were getting ready to get moving again.
'What, no! I need to go somewhere else! I can't be near them now!' Naofumi tried activating his Portal skill again but was harshly reminded that he had to wait for an hour before he could use the skill again thanks to its cooldown timer.
"Naofumi, you're back! Did things go well with the Queen?!" Raphtalia called from next to Filo.
Naofumi, panicking to himself, wordlessly turned around and began to run down a side street away from them. "Naofumi!? Naofumi!" Raphtalia called after him.
He kept running, refusing to listen to their voices.
That vein of anger was growing larger and larger in his mind. He could feel it wanting to be released.
This was bad. He simply couldn't push it down anymore. He thought it'd be another panic attack that he'd have next, but this, this was so much worse!
He needed to get away from everyone! He needed to find a place to vent! NOW!
"Naofumi!"
At hearing the shout behind him, he used Zweite Aura on himself and kept running. Zigzagging his way around to try and lose Raphtalia.
At this point, he was running down the road outside the village. He just had to get away. Maybe find some hole in the ground where he could hide from everyone and vent out his frustrations.
But how could he vent? He couldn't damage anything! Balloons simply wouldn't cut it. He had to scream. He had to do something to release these deep, pitted emotions inside him, or else-
"Naofumi!" Raphtalia suddenly grabbed him by the wrist, stopping him. How had she caught up?! He'd used Zweite Aura on himself, hadn't he?!
"Why are you running?! What's going on!?" Raphtalia asked him worriedly.
"N-No! G-Get away from me," Naofumi said, fear in his tone. He realized then that he hadn't cast the spell on himself at all. How could he when he was so focused on pushing everything down?
"Get away? No! I can't do that! Naofumi, tell me what's going on with you right now! Is it happening again? You need to tell me!" Raphtalia demanded.
"I-It's nothing." Naofumi clenched his teeth tight. His vision was swimming. It was becoming increasingly hard to focus. Not only could he not portal away right now, but his fatigue was starting to catch up to him. He'd spent all of last night fighting various monsters and healing people before the parasite familiars could kill them from the inside. "Please, get away from me, before-"
He'd failed to save all of them from the monsters. He'd watched those waiting to be healed die as familiars sprouted from their bodies. A skill he'd used to protect closeby party members had meant a skill that wasn't protecting another innocent from danger.
"Naofumi, stop telling me to leave! I only want to help you! I'm worried about you! We all are! So please tell me what's going on so we can help you get past this!" Raphtalia demanded with all her heart.
His inaction at the village. The anger he held towards the others, towards himself, and-
"Naofumi-"
"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT THE &^%$ UP!"
…
Raphtalia was stunned. Naofumi couldn't keep the anger back any longer. His face twisted into a grimace of unparalleled rage.
It was too late. One of the reasons why he'd failed to save others. One of the reasons why he was so angry…
There were many, so many of them compounded on top of each other. And unfortunately, Raphtalia was about to receive the brunt of the blow if she didn't get out of his way, right now.
"If you want to help me, then piss off! I don't want you getting involved every time I'm going through something! I can handle it myself! Just let me vent and I'll come right back!" Naofumi yelled. He tried to turn around to storm off, but Raphtalia ran around and cut him off.
She breathed in deeply to try and calm herself. "Naofumi, please, I'm just worried. We all are." She repeated more calmly, trying to placate him. "Please, talk to me. I want to help you."
She tried to grab his hand, but he forcibly smacked it away in disgust.
"I already told you, I don't want your help! I can handle this on my own! Why won't you just listen to me?!" He snarled. He again tried to get around her, but she moved in his way again.
"Naofumi." She was still trying to stay calm, but her incredible patience was beginning to run low. She'd been up fighting all night too. She hadn't had time to properly grieve for those who'd died back home. She hadn't had time to even process the weight of the mistake she'd made when she left those two kids to die. "Please stop being stubborn and-"
"Stubborn, me, stubborn?!" Naofumi threw his head back and laughed. "Oh, that's rich, coming from you!"
"Wh-what?!" Raphtalia looked shocked.
It was too late to run away now. And since she refused to get a clue, Naofumi decided to let her have it.
"Who's the one that's always complaining about me being a bad role model for Filo, huh?! Who's the one that's always henpecking at the littlest details of my life!? Who's the one that always calls me out on my rude thoughts, even though I never have any intention of ever acting on them!" As Naofumi continued to speak, more and more anger started to bubble up and rise from the darkest depths of his soul.
He'd tried. He'd tried so hard to just ignore it all because he loved this girl. He wanted her to be happy. He wanted everyone around him to be happy.
But he was too angry to care about something as simple as love right now. He was too angry to care about what others thought. Not when all of them were acting so.
Damn.
Selfish!
"I'm just trying to help you become a proper Hero!" Raphtalia countered. "How can you be the great Shield Hero if you're always thinking bad things about others, or acting disrespectful around important people, or being unthankful for what you have, or-"
"How does any of that matter?! And since when have you become the authority on how heroes should act? While I'm at it, who was it that stayed by my side last night, huh?! Who protected me while people around her &^%$ING DIED!" Naofumi could hardly think straight anymore with the red haze of anger blanketing his mind. He wanted to be acknowledged for once in his life!
But that didn't make what he said any less true and his girlfriend reeled back as if struck.
"I… I didn't mean to. I was torn between wanting to protect you and-"
"And how was that more important than preventing other people from dying?!" Naofumi cut her off.
"I was just trying to protect you since you couldn't fight!" Raphtalia shouted with tears in the corners of her eyes.
"Protect me…? PROTECT ME!? Are you serious right now?! My defense is so god damn high that I could have gone to sleep while being swarmed by those things and I would have woken up fully rested afterward! Have you forgotten that?!" Naofumi roared, making Raphtalia freeze up again.
"Gods, this isn't even the first time you've stood in harm's way or done something stupid to try and protect me damn it!" Naofumi continued. "First, there was that time you walked right into my blazing inferno at the Capital to kiss me and hopefully bring me out of the Cursed Series! Then there was that time when you took that blast from Balamus at the castle when I could have tanked it! And now, this! I didn't think about it much before, but now, I feel like you've completely forgotten about what's important in a fight! Has our relationship really had that much of an influence on you?! Have you forgotten what's really important!?"
Raphtalia stood stock still.
They could argue about the little things. But ever since Ren had pointed it out last night, she'd had those thoughts terrorizing her from the back of her mind. Why, why had she hesitated to save those children? She'd promised her parents not to let anyone else die. Yet, she'd just stood by Naofumi, refusing to leave his side. And even after their deaths, she'd gone back to fighting like she was on autopilot.
Was there actually something wrong with her?
"So please! Humor me and tell me again how are those things you said earlier relevant to my duties as a Hero?!"
Raphtalia was brought back to the present. "W-w-well, if you can't respect others, how will they ever be able to respect you!?" Raphtalia angrily countered, poking him in the chest.
"I don't care about their respect! And even if I did, they're the ones that summoned me to save them! They should be giving me respect for that alone but instead, everyone treated me like ^%$#! And despite that, I'm still trying to save their damn &^!es! Why can't you give me a little more credit!?"
Their arguing went back and forth. Naofumi hadn't realized it, but Filo and the rest of his party had also followed him. However, they'd stopped when they saw the couple in the middle of their very heated argument.
"What's… what's going on with mommy and daddy?" Filo asked fearfully.
"Lord Shield… Miss Raphtalia…" Dou-Lon looked stunned.
Eclair was silent. She had no idea what to say. She'd never even imagined Naofumi and Raphtalia fighting each other. They'd gotten along so well ever since she joined the party.
"You know what, screw all that! The fact of the matter is, you spend too much time worrying about me in battle!" Naofumi bellowed. "These stupid familiars can't even scratch me! Yet you keep on prioritizing me over the people they've KILLED!"
"But I'm supposed to be your sword!" Raphtalia defended herself. "I'm supposed to stay close so that-"
"What use is it for me to have a sword if she's always stuck in her sheath?!" Naofumi screamed.
"... Alright, I'm sorry for caring about your well-being!" Raphtalia crossed her arms.
"What kind of apology is that?! You don't get it, do you?! I don't NEED you to protect me!" Naofumi screamed. "I don't need ANYONE to protect me! I am the last person that needs protection because of THIS STUPID SHIELD! I HAVE NO OTHER PURPOSE BESIDES TANKING HITS FOR OTHERS THANKS TO THIS DAMN THING!"
"I… I just want to make sure you're happy-" Raphtalia tried to respond. She didn't look angry anymore. The weight of yesterday was weighing down on her even more now. No matter what excuse she tried to come up with, she couldn't excuse what she'd done in the slightest.
How could she have forgotten her promise to her parents? How could she have let those kids die? She'd vowed to make sure that no one, kid or otherwise, would go through the trials she'd been forced to go through. How could she have allowed such a thing to happen? The old her would have jumped to help in a heartbeat. So why… why had she not done that?
Had she really begun to prioritize Naofumi that much? Did her love for him blind her to the other important things in her life?
"DO I LOOK HAPPY TO YOU?!" Naofumi screamed. "TELL ME, IS THIS A HAPPY FACE?!"
"... No." She bowed her head. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She said genuinely. "I didn't think-"
"THAT'S THE PROBLEM! YOU NEVER THINK! NOT WHEN YOU JUMP IN THE WAY OF ATTACKS! NOT WHEN YOU STAY BY MY SIDE WHEN OTHERS NEED HELP! YOU'VE ONLY THOUGHT ABOUT YOURSELF AND WHAT YOU WANTED!" Naofumi tried to push Raphtalia back, but his low attack stat prevented that. She still took a step back regardless at the aggressive move while Naofumi glared at his Shield.
"That's not true!" Raphtalia yelled back. "I know I've made mistakes, but I've only been trying to help you! I swear that I only wanted to help-"
"HELP?! YOU REALLY WANT TO HELP ME!? ALL THAT HENPECKING YOU DO TO ME ON A DAILY BASIS! ALL THOSE TIMES YOU POKE AT ME FOR HAVING ONE RUDE THOUGHT ABOUT SOMEBODY ELSE?! THAT'S YOU TRYING TO HELP!?"
"IF I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER, I THINK YOU CARE MORE ABOUT YOUR OWN DAMN HAPPINESS THAN MINE! YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT ME MAINTAINING A PERFECT IMAGE 'OF WHAT A HERO SHOULD BE!
YOU ONLY CARE IF I ACT THE PART OF YOUR IDEAL HUSBAND!"
…
…
Raphtalia sniffled. Her shoulders shook, and she hung her head low in shame. "I'm so sorry…"
It wasn't just him that she directed her apology to. It was an apology to her parents. To Rifana. To everyone, she'd let down.
Naofumi was right. She hadn't been thinking at all. If she'd only dragged him to the Church. If she'd put him where he'd be safe, she could have saved those children. She could have saved everyone else that was in danger. And not… not...
That should have satisfied Naofumi. He'd had several real apologies in a row. He should have been satisfied with the first apology. But anger still festered in him like a black bubbling ocean of hate. He scowled. "Until you actually mean it, until you can focus on actually attacking and not worrying about me, don't you dare try to talk back to me again." Naofumi spat out.
Raphtalia began to sob uncontrollably at that. Her tail laid low against the ground under the weight of her own mistakes.
…
He finally became aware of their small audience. He glared at Dou-Lon, Eclair, and Filo.
"D-Daddy-" Filo started to say.
"Get to the wagon. We're going." Naofumi ordered.
"B-But Daddy-" Filo tried to say again.
"Don't you start talking back to me too you KFC reject! Get to the wagon now, or I'll never feed you again!" Naofumi bellowed.
Filo actually jumped back in terror at his tone of voice. She didn't know what a Kayefsee was but she understood what being a reject meant. From what Fitoria had told her, getting exiled from your flock usually meant death in the wilderness in complete, soul-crushing solitude. "Daddy!" She started to shake in terror at the glare Naofumi directed at her.
Eclair scowled as she stepped in front of the scared little girl. "I can understand you being angry, Sir Naofumi. You have plenty of reason to be, but DON'T you dare take it out on Miss Filo! She has done nothing to warrant your wrath!"
Naofumi scowled. "That's rich, is the disgraced knight without a house or land to her name going to lecture me on how a proper hero should act too?"
Eclair clenched up as Naofumi smirked maliciously. "Tell me something, Eclair. Are you confident that your skills will be enough to fight against monsters down the road? All that hard work and training to become the best swordsman in the country and you couldn't even handle a few bats on your own?" He snarked at the rose-haired knight. "Maybe you should have considered the Hero's crest after all. At least then your skills might have been more than just for show then."
Eclair didn't say anything in response. She simply walked up to Raphtalia, grabbing the sobbing girl by the shoulders before leading her and Filo away from Naofumi. Only then did she give him a glare over the shoulder before working on consoling the two crying girls.
Dou-Lon opened his mouth to say something, closed it, opened it again, then finally, he sighed. "I told you keeping this bottled up would hurt others, Lord Shield."
"Shut up. I'm not your God and you are not my friend." Naofumi snarled. "If you can't understand that, then go back to Siltvelt with the rest of your fellow zealots. Call me by that title again and I'll kick you out myself. Is that clear?"
…
The Hakuko nodded stiffly and faced away from him. But Naofumi could still see a single tear of grief run down his face as the man began to walk away after everyone else.
The Shield Hero clenched his fists. Part of him felt heartbroken for what he'd done. He'd hurt Raphtalia, he'd hurt innocent Filo, and he'd lashed out at Eclair and Dou-Lon even though both cared deeply for him.
However, he was too angry and too stubborn to want to apologize right now.
And deep down, he knew he'd meant what he'd said.
He'd tried so hard. But damn it, he couldn't ignore it any longer. He couldn't just push this anger inside him down and let everyone else walk all over him anymore.
They had to understand. Weeks of trying to not let his anger get to him. All his effort to try to not get angry at all… Last night was the straw that broke the camel's back. He understood now. He couldn't be what he was before.
He wasn't some rug they could just walk over whenever they pleased.
No. People had died because of his leisurely attitude. He hadn't been strong enough because he'd allowed himself to be coddled by everyone else for too long. Their help had only made him useless and weak.
It was time to go back to the basics and do things his way again.
Author's Notes:
You know, this chapter was originally going to be twice as long. But I figured this would be a good stopping point. I'm not much of a fan of Angryfumi. And well, if you can't tell... he's going to be angry for a while. As to who he'll lash out against, well...
It's not going to be pretty in any way, shape, or form.
Till Next Time
Allen
