Toomes is looking at a drawing of the Avengers. He says things won't ever be the same and says that there's aliens and big green guys tearing down buildings.
Bruce cringed.
Toomes says he used to draw cowboys and Indians when he was a kid.
Mason corrects him and says they're Native Americans.
Toomes says the drawing isn't bad.
Mason says the kid has a future.
"It is a pretty good drawing." Clint agreed.
The wreck Stark tower and various other buildings is shown.
"This is right after New York then?" Steve asked.
Toomes and his workers are working with Chitauri remains. A man tries to cut through it, Toomes says he can't saw through it because the alien bastards are tough so he needs to use the stuff they use.
"Makes sense." Peter said.
Another man walks in, late. Toomes says he's glad he could join them.
Everyone snickered.
The worker says his alarm didn't go off.
Toomes tells him to go stak the armor plating like he asked. He says this is a huge deal for them.
"I suspect not for long." Vision said.
A woman walks in and says all post battle cleanup operations are under her jurisdiction. A new team of workers walk in. The woman thanks Toomes for his teams service and says they'll take it from there.
"And now he's out of a job." Scott said. "Poor guy."
A worker asks who they are.
A worker responds by saying they're qualified personnel.
"Oof." Shuri said.
Toomes says he has a city contract to salvage the remains.
The woman says all salvage operations are under her jurisdiction. She asks them to turn over all exotic materials or they'll be prosecuted.
"Well, they're not gonna turn them over." Ned said.
Someone slips a piece of Chitauri remains into his pocket.
"Oh no." Clint sighed.
"That's not good." Thor said.
Toomes tells her that he bought trucks and brought in a whole crew for the job. He says they have family. He tells her that he's all in on it and he could lose his house.
"Damn, that's gotta suck for him." Rocket said.
The woman says there's nothing she can do.
A worker tells Toomes not to overextend himself next time.
"Way to kick a man when he's down." Natasha said.
Toomes asks what he said and says that the man was right and he did overextend himself. He punches the worker in the face.
"I wasn't expecting him to do that." Quill said.
"Well, he's desperate and angry and he just lost his job. I'd be surprised if he didn't lash out." Hope said.
The workers pull out guns.
"I think the guns were a little unnecessary." Hope said. "All he did was punch one guy."
The woman tells them to lower them. She tells Toomes that he can take his grievances to her superiors.
Toomes asks who her superiors are.
"I have a few ideas." Maria said.
Later, Toomes watches the news. A reporter says that the joint venture between Stark Industries and The Department of Damage Control will oversee the collection of alien and other exotic materials.
"Ideas confirmed." Maria said.
Shultz makes a comment about the assholes who made the mess are now being paid to clean it up.
Mason says it's all rigged.
The reporter says that experts are estimating that there are over 1,500 tons of exotic material scattered throughout the tri-state area.
"That's a lot." Scott said.
"No shit." Hope said.
A man pulls up with a truck of Chitauri materials and says that they still have another load and asks if they were supposed to turn it in.
"Yes!"
Mason says it's too bad and they could've made some cool stuff from the alien junk.
Toomes says they should keep it because the world is changing and it's time they change too.
"No. Bad idea." Peter said.
'4 years later' appears on the screen. Toomes' workers are in a factory working with the Chitauri tech. One of them tests a gun.
"Oh my, that is one powerful weapon." Quill said.
Toomes flies in and drops crates of Chitauri tech down. He lands and takes his wingsuit off. He says business is good.
"Those are some nice ass wings." Sam said.
'A film by Peter Parker' appears on the screen. Peter narrates and says Queen, New York is a rough burrough but it's home.
"That's right." May said, laughing a little.
Happy asks him who he's talking to.
Peter says he isn't talking to anyone and he's just making a video of the trip.
"Why?" MJ asked.
"I don't know, felt like it, I guess." Peter said.
Happy tells Peter that he can't show it to anyone.
Peter says he knows.
Happy asks why he's narrating in a different voice.
Peter says it's fun.
"I agree." Scott said.
Peter asks Happy why they call him Happy. Happy lifts the wall on the center console.
"Why do people call you Happy?" Natasha asked.
"Tony just started calling me that, I don't know why." Happy said.
Peter and Happy get out of the car. Happy says he isn't carrying Peter's bags then walks toward a plane.
Peter asks if he should go to the bathroom before.
Happy says there's a bathroom on the plane.
"Have you ever been on a plane before?" Rhodey asked.
They get onto the plane. Peter says it's cool that there's no pilot, then sits down across from Happy.
Happy asks if that's where he's gonna sit and if this is his first time on a private plane.
Peter says he's never been on any plane.
"We don't really travel much." Peter said.
The plane starts, Happy moves seats. Peter asks if the plane should be making that noise. Later, Peter startles a sleeping Happy.
Everyone laughed, except Happy.
"Peter, don't antagonize the poor man." May said.
Peter and Happy arrive at an airport. Peter gets footage of various tourist attractions. Peter says no one has told him why he's in Berlin or what he's doing.
"They didn't tell you?" May asked. "Of course." She muttered.
Peter says it was something about Captain America going crazy.
"Crazy?" Steve asked.
Happy shows Peter his room. Peter asks if they're neighbors. Happy says they aren't roommates and tells him to suit up. Later, Peter is in his old suit psyching himself up in the mirror.
"Gotta give yourself a pep talk sometimes." Shuri said.
Happy enters and asks Peter what the hell he's wearing.
Peter says it's his suit.
Happy asks where the case is.
Happy directs Peter to a door. Peter says he thought that was a closet and asks if it's still his room. He finds the case with a note that reads 'A minor upgrade.'
"Way more than 'minor'." Peter said.
Peter opens the case and a new suit is revealed. Happy tells him to put it on.
Peter says it's the coolest thing he's ever seen.
"It is pretty sweet." Ned agreed.
Happy tells him to get going.
Peter says he doesn't understand and asks if the suit is for him.
Happy leaves. Peter zooms his camera in on the suits' eyes. He says this is the greatest day of his life.
"You seem very excited." Mantis said.
Later, Peter is at the Leipzig airport. He sees Captain America, Iron Man, Black Widow then asks who the new guy is.
"Hi, I'm the 'new guy.'" T'Challa said.
Tony calls for Peter by calling him 'underoos.' Peter swoops in, takes Steve's shield and greets them.
Later, Peter is running. He says the craziest thing just happened and he just had a fight with Captain America and he stole his shield and threw it at him.
"Why are you recording in the middle of a fight?" Sam asked.
Scott gets huge and grabs Rhodey. Peter notes that Scott is big now and says he has to go be fore swinging away. Scott throws Rhodey.
"Please don't throw me anymore." Rhodey told Scott.
Later, Peter is in his hotel room. He says that was the most amazing thing. He says Tony was like 'Hey Underoos' and he flipped in and stole Steve's shield and was like 'what's up everybody'. Happy knocks on the door. Peter backflips to the door and opens it.
"Nice form, solid 10." Ned said. Peter rolled his eyes.
Happy tells him that they have thin walls.
Everyone started laughing.
Peter is in the car with Tony. Tony sees the camera and asks if he's doing a video diary.
"Yeah, Good Luck Charlie style." Peter said.
"I miss that show." Ned said.
Tony says he'd do the same thing.
Happy says he told Peter not to and says he'll wipe the chip.
Tony says they should make an alibi video for May. Peter gets into frame. Tony asks May how she's doing and asks if she's wearing something skimpy.
"Really?" May and Pepper said simultaneously. May's tone was disgusted, Pepper's was more incredulous.
"Please don't hit on my aunt." Peter said. "It's a little weird."
Tony laughs before saying that was inappropriate.
"You think!?"
Tony tries again and greets May, saying that he wanted to tell her that Peter did an incredible job at the Stark Internship retreat. He says everyone was impressed. Happy honks the horn and yells at a driver.
"Road rage." Pepper said.
Tony says Happy is hoping to get bumped up to asset management. He says he was forehead of security and before that he was a driver.
"Forehead of security? Really?" Happy asked, unamused.
Happy says that was a private conversation and he doesn't like Tony joking about it. He says it was hard to talk about.
"Poor Happy."
Happy pulls up to Peter's apartment and says they've arrived.
Tony asks if he can give them a minute.
Happy asks if Tony wants him to leave the car.
Tony tells him to get the case from the trunk.
Peter lowers the camera and asks if he can keep the suit.
"You can keep it? Nice." Shuri said.
Tony tells him yes and says they were just talking about it. He tells Peter that Happy's his point guy on this and tells Peter not to stress him out or do anything stupid.
'Little late for that' Peter thought.
Tony says he's seen Happy's cardiogram. Tony tells Peter not to do anything he would do and not to do anything he wouldn't do.
"That makes no sense." Natasha said.
Tony says there's a little gray area and that's where Peter operates.
"What is this 'gray area'? Things that you may or may not do?" Coulson asked.
Peter asks if this means he's an Avenger. Tony says no.
Happy knocks on the window and Tony tells him to take the case to the 7th floor.
Peter says he can take that and Happy doesn't have to. Happy thanks him and walks off.
"You sounded so relieved." Rhodey said, snickering.
Peter asks when the next 'retreat' is.
Tony asks if he means next mission and says they'll call him.
Peter asks if he has his number.
"I don't think that's what he meant." Strange said.
Tony says he meant someone will call him.
Tony reaches around him to get the door, Peter mistakes it for a hug. Tony says it's not a hug and he's just getting the door for him and says they aren't there yet.
"Awkward." Sam said.
"Dude seriously, pointing out when thigs are awkward make them more awkward." Scott said.
"I know, I just think it's funny." Sam said.
Peter gets out of the car and walks into the building with his bag and case in hand. He says they'll call him.
'Might've gotten a little ahead of myself.' Peter thought.
'Two months later.' appears on the screen. Peter is on a bus. He scrolls through the countless messages he sent to Happy.
"That's a lot of messages." Clint commented.
"Yeah." Peter sighed.
Peter gets off the bus and walks the rest of the way to school, narrowly avoiding Flash's car. Flash greets him by calling him Penis Parker.
May glared at Flash.
"Asshole." MJ muttered, referring to Flash.
Betty and Jason are giving morning announcements. Jason tells the students not to forget about their homecoming tickets, then asks Betty if she has a date for homecoming.
Betty thanks him and says she already has a date.
"Poor kid." Quill said.
A kid is flying a drone, Peter walks to his locker. The principal tells the drone kid to go to his office.
Peter puts his coat in his locker. Ned comes up behind him and puts a lego Palpatine on his shoulder. He says to join him and together they can build his lego death star.
"You have a lego death star?" Scott asked. "Sweet, I have a millenium falcon."
Peter turns around and asks how many pieces it is. Ned says there's 3,803.
"Whoa."
Ned asks if he wants to build it tonight.
Peter says he can't because he has the Stark Internship.
"Liar." Ned playfully whispered.
Ned says Peter always has that internship.
Peter says hopefully it'll lead to a real job with him soon.
Ned says that would be sweet and Tony would be all 'Good job on those spreadsheets Peter, here's a gold coin'. He says he doesn't know how jobs work.
Peter says that's exactly how they work.
"Pretty much." Rhodey said.
Ned says he can knock out the bones of the death star at his place and he'll come to Peter's after. He says the difficult part is the base of it and they can get the top done in 2 hours. Peter isn't listening because he's too busy looking at Liz.
"Who's the girl?" Natasha asked.
"Uh, her name is Liz, she was my homecoming date actually." Peter said. "Until that went south." He added quietly.
Peter is in class. The teacher asks how to calculate the linear acceleration between points A and B.
She calls on Flash who says it's the product of the sin of the angle and gravity divided by mass.
The teacher says he's wrong then asks Peter if he's still with them. Peter closes his laptop which was playing a Spider-Man video.
"Watching videos of yourself in class, Parker?" MJ joked.
Peter looks at the board and answers the question by saying that mass cancels out so it's just gravity times sin.
The teacher tells him he's right and tells Flash that being the fastest isn't always best if you're wrong.
"Ironic since his name is Flash." Tony said.
Flash turns to Peter and mouths the words 'you're dead.'
"Wow, okay. This kid must really hate you." Rocket said.
Peter is in Chemistry class. The teacher says they'll be talking about the the Danish physicist Niels Bohr then says that there's nothing Bohr-ing about his discoveries regarding quantum theory.
"Nice pun, you got there." Bruce said.
Peter makes web fluid in a beaker that's in a drawer.
"You make that at school?" Shuri asked.
Peter and Ned are at lunch. Peter watches Liz hang a banner. He asks Ned if she got a new top.
Ned says they've seen the top before just not with the skirt she's wearing.
Peter says they should stop staring before it gets creepy.
"Might be a little late for that." Pepper said.
MJ says it's too late and calls them losers.
Ned asks why she sits with them.
MJ says she doesn't have friends.
"Fair point, I used to do the same thing." Hope said.
At academic decathlon practice, Liz asks what the heaviest naturally occurring element is.
Charles buzzes in and says Hydrogen is the lightest before realizing that that wasn't the question.
"No it was not." Strange said.
Abraham buzzes in and says it's uranium.
Liz says that is correct and tells everyone to open their books to page 10.
Peter is talking with Mr. Harrington. Mr. Harrington says it's nationals and asks if he can take the weekend off.
"Not nationals."
Peter says he can't go to Washington because if Tony needs him he needs to make sure he's there.
Flash tells Peter that he's never been in the same room as Tony Stark.
"How would you know?" Peter asked.
Cindy asks what's happening.
Sally says Peter isn't going to Washington.
"You still went though." Ned said.
Abraham asks why not.
Liz asks if Peter's leaving right before nationals.
MJ says Peter already quit marching band and robotics lab then says she isn't obsessed with him she's just very observant.
"A good trait to have." Peggy said.
Liz tells Flash that he's in for Peter.
Flash says he has to check his calendar first because he has a hot date with Black Widow coming up.
"Oh really?" Natasha asked. "In your dreams maybe."
Abraham rings his bell and says that is false.
Everyone laughed.
Mr. Harrington says not to use the bell for comedic purposes.
"Why not?" Ned asked.
The bell rings and Peter rushes out of the building and jumps over the gate.
"Nice."
Peter walks into the bodega and greets Mr. Delmar. He grabs some gummy worms and orders a number 5 with pickles asks if he can smush it down flat.
Mr. Delmar asks how May is.
Peter says she's alright.
Mr. Delmar, in Spanish, tells the chef that May is a very hot Italian woman.
"Please don't hit on my aunt." Peter said.
Peter, in Spanish, asks Mr. Delmar how his daughter is.
"Nice one." Rhodey said.
Mr. Delmar says his order is 10$.
Peter says it's 5$.
Mr. Delmar says it's 10$ for his comment.
Peter says he's joking and hands Mr. Delmar 5$.
Everyone giggled.
Peter walks over to Murph and pets him. Mr. Delmar asks how school is. Peter says it's boring and he has better things to do. Mr. Delmar tells him to stay in school or else Peter will end up like him.
"Listen to him Peter." May said.
Peter says it's great.
Mr. Delmar says he has the best sandwiches in Queens.
"True." Ned said.
Peter runs into an alleyway and gets changed, then webs his backpack to a wall.
"Maybe you should do that in a place that's less... outside." Bucky said.
Peter jumps from rooftop to rooftop before spotting a man on a bike.
"That looks fun." Mantis said.
He brings a web down and asks if the man can hold it for a second then sticks the web to him and takes the bike before asking who it belongs to. He leaves a note that says 'Is this your bike, if not don't steal it.'
Everyone snorted at the note.
Peter sits on a moving train and checks his phone.
Later he's on a building. A man on the street asks if he's the Spider guy from Youtube.
Peter says he's Spider-Man.
The man tells him to do a flip. Peter backflips.
"Nice."
Peter gives an old woman directions and walks on a tight-rope made from webs.
Peter sees someone trying to get into his car and stops him and tells him that he shouldn't steal cars.
The man says it's his car.
"Oh..." Ned said.
"My bad." Peter laughed, awkwardly.
Margerie looks out the window and says to shut the car alarm off.
The man tells her to tell Peter that it's his car.
More residents of the area start yelling. Gary (Stan Lee.) says not to make him come down there.
Margerie asks Gary how he's doing. Gary asks how she is and how her mother is.
"There he is." Strange said.
"I think it's just a set thing that he's going to appear in each of these films we're being forced to watch." Gamora said.
Peter swings by a construction site and falls on his face.
Everyone winced in sympathy.
"That had to hurt." Steve said.
Peter says he's okay.
"Of course you are." Ned said. "Somehow."
Peter is on a fire escape recording a voicemail for Happy. He says he stopped a grand theft bicycle but he couldn't find the owner so he left a note. He says he helped a lost Dominican lady and she bought him a churro.
"That was nice of her." May said.
Peter says he feels like he could be doing more and he's curious when the next real mission is. He tells Happy to call him back.
He hangs up and asks himself why he told Happy about the churro. He accidentally ejects a web cartridge and stands on the side of the railing to save it.
"Nice catch."
Peter sees some men about to rob a bank and makes a comment about it being something good.
"How is that good?" Ned asked.
One of the men slices into an ATM with a chitauri tech weapon. He says the high-tech stuff makes it too easy. Another man uses a different weapon to take the face of the ATM off.
"The high-tech stuff really does make it easy." Rocket said.
A man says they can hit 5 more places in the night. Peter walks into the bank and greets them before asking if they forgot their PIN number. They all turn around. Peter calls them the Avengers because they're wearing Avenger masks.
"Well, we're done for now." Tony joked.
Peter webs a mans hand and makes him punch 2 robbers. He punches 'Thor' and 'Hulk' and says it's good to finally meet them. He kicks 'Thor' into a wall and says he thought he'd be more handsome in person.
"You are by the way." Peter told Thor.
'Iron Man' tries to punch Peter but he keeps dodging. Peter asks why he's robbing a bank if he's a billionaire.
"I wanna know why they're wearing Avenger masks." Scott said.
'Captain America' traps Peter in an electromagnetic field then shoves him into a wall. 'Captain America' uses the weapon again and slams Peter around. Peter says he's starting to think they're not the Avengers.
"No shit." Clint said.
Peter webs a tray and uses it to hit 'Captain America.'
At the Bodega, Mr. Delmar calls 911. When asked what the emergency is, he says Spider-Man is fighting the Avengers in a bank on 21st street.
"Well... sort of." Ned said.
Peter says it's a school night so they should wrap it up. 'Iron Man' tries to get him with the weapon. Peter webs him to the wall and asks hoe jerks like them get tech like that.
"That guy that stole Chitauri remains." Rocket said.
'Hulk' powers up a weapon and it slices through the Bodega across the street.
"Holy shit!"
Peter runs into the Bodega and saves Mr. Delmar and Murph.
"Thank god they're okay." Ned said.
Peter sees that the robbers are gone.
"Damn." Clint said.
At Avengers tower, Dummy is moving vases. Happy tells him to put it down because it's worth more than them.
"Yeah, he most likely won't listen." Tony said.
He answers his phone. Peter, on the other end, says that there were people robbing an ATM with high-tech weapons. Happy tells him to take a breath and says he doesn't have time for ATM robberies or the notes he leaves behind. He says he has moving day to worry about.
"Moving day?"
Happy says everything needs to be out by next week.
Peter asks who's moving.
Happy asks if he watches the news.
"What teenager do you know that watches the news?" Peter asked.
Happy says Tony sold Avengers Tower and they're relocating to a facility upstate where hopefully the cell service is worse.
"Didn't that already happen?" Scott asked. "Because I just broke into that facility not too long ago."
"I guess we were using both..." Tony suggested.
Peter asks what if Tony needs him or if something big goes down then asks if he can talk to Tony.
Happy tells him to stay away from anything dangerous because he's responsible for making sure Peter's responsible.
Peter says he is responsible. He notices that his backpack is gone.
"Yes, missing backpack just screams responsible." MJ said.
Happy says that doesn't sound very responsible.
Peter says he'll call Happy back.
Happy tells him to feel free not to.
"No need to be rude about it, Happy." Rhodey said.
Peter scales a building and crawls in to his bedroom window. He quietly closes the door and drops from the ceiling. He turns around to see Ned sitting on his bed, Ned drops the lego death star.
Everyone started laughing.
"I can't believe I didn't see you sitting on my bed." Peter said.
May asks what that was.
Peter says it was nothing.
Ned realizes that Peter is Spider-Man from Youtube.
Peter takes the suit off and says he isn't.
"Well, there's no use in lying now." Natasha said.
Ned says Peter was on the ceiling.
Peter asks what Ned is doing in his room.
Ned says May let him in because Peter said they would finish the death star.
"You did say that." Valkyrie said.
Peter says Ned can't just bust into his room.
May opens the door and says the Turkey Meatloaf recipe was a disaster.
"I can only imagine what was going through your head at the sight of the two of them." Clint said to May.
May says they should go to dinner and asks Ned if he wants Thai.
Peter says Ned can't go because he has a thing.
May says okay and tells Peter to put some clothes on.
"Probably a good idea." MJ said.
Peter puts on a shirt. Ned asks if May doesn't know.
Peter says nobody knows.
"Well, there goes that secret." Peter said.
Peter says Tony knows because he made the suit and that's it.
Ned says Tony made it and asks if he's an Avenger.
Peter says he basically is.
"Well..."
Peter tells Ned that he can't tell anybody and it has to be a secret.
Ned asks why. Peter says Ned knows what May is like and if she found out people are trying to kill him every night she won't let him do it anymore.
"Which is understandable, considering you just said people try to kill you." Strange said.
Ned says he'll level with Peter and says he can't keep it a secret because it's the greatest thing that ever happened to him.
Peter says May can't know and he can't do that to her after everything that happened to her.
May sighed and put her arm around her nephew's shoulders. "I know you meant well, I just wish you would've told me sooner." She said.
"I know. I'm sorry." Peter said
Ned says he swears he won't tell anyone.
Peter thanks him and says he can't believe this is happening.
Ned asks if he can try the suit on. Peter says no.
Ned asks if it works by magnets and asks how Peter shoots the strings.
"Webs, Ned." Peter said.
Peter says he'll tell him tomorrow.
Ned asks how Peter does this and the Stark internship.
Peter says this is the Stark internship and pushes Ned out the door.
"I can't believe that's how he found out." MJ said.
May and Peter are at a Thai restaurant. May asks what's that matter with him and says she thought he loved larb. She asks if it's too larby or not larby enough. She asks how many times she has to say 'larb' before Peter talks to her. She tells Peter she larbs him.
Everyone laughed. Why was the word 'larb' so funny.
"That word has no business being that funny." Scott said.
Peter says he's just stressed and interested because of the internship.
May says she isn't a fan of Tony Stark. She says Peter's distracted all the time and Tony got him in his head.
"To be entirely fair, I think I did some of that myself too." Peter said. "Wasn't all him."
The news is playing on the TV. A reporter says Delmar's sandwiches was destroyed.
May asks Peter what Tony has him doing and says he needs to use his instincts.
The reporter says the ATM robbery was thwarted by Queens' own crime stopper Spider-Man. A photo of Spider-Man at a porta potty is shown.
Peter cringed at the picture.
"That is a... very unfortunate photo." Pepper said.
The reporter says a powerful blast was set off as Spider-Man attempted to foil the heist and it sliced through the bodega across the street and miraculously no one was harmed.
"Wow, talk about good luck." Quill said.
May turns to Peter and tells him to run the other way if he spots something like that happening. Peter agrees.
"Oh the irony." May said.
May says that was 6 blocks from them.
Peter tells her he needs a new backpack.
May says that's 5.
"You lost five backpacks?" MJ asked.
"You ought to be more careful with your possessions." Ned said in a high pitched voice.
A waiter places some sticky rice pudding on their table.
May says they didn't order it.
The waiter says it's on the house and leaves.
Peter says he thinks the waiter larbs may.
