A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews! After this chapter there will be one more (longer) chapter, and then an epilogue! Can't believe it's almost finished. I hope you like this chapter, because I feel like they are starting to shift a little. Elena's cold exterior starts to thaw out a little in this chapter! They won't resolve a lot this chapter, but don't worry it's coming in the next one.
Enjoy!
I had just been in LA for my last photoshoot until the baby's due date. Elena still had three and a half weeks, but it still made me anxious she'd go early. I was distracted all weekend checking my phone every five minutes and I hardly slept a wink. I kept imaging Elena calling me to tell me she was in labor, and I'd be on the other side of the country completely helpless.
I was thankful when I flew home Sunday evening and Elena assured me there were no signs of labor all weekend.
On my way home from the airport, I stopped by her place to check on her. I was happy to see her large protruding belly still intact, although she seemed very uncomfortable. She grumbled to me about how miserable she was and couldn't wait for her body back. I didn't stay long, needing to go home and catch up on all the sleep I didn't get while I was gone.
I fell asleep around nine o'clock but woke up to my phone blaring. When I looked at the time it was just past one thirty in the morning and my heart sped up when Elena's panicked voice told me her water broke on the other end.
I practically ran out the door, only changing my clothes and putting on shoes before I left. I didn't bother even combing through my hair or brushing my teeth. Even though all the baby books prepared me not to panic during this time, I still panicked. I got to Elena's in a record breaking seven minutes and she was already waiting outside for me, with her hospital bag in hand.
I helped her into the car as I bombarded her with questions about her contractions. Thank goodness she was in the safe zone of them being five to six minutes apart.
The hospital was fifteen minutes away and Elena was oddly calm. When she'd experience a contraction, she'd grip the side door, get really quiet for a minute and squeeze her eyes shut, as she focused on breathing. Seeing her be so calm, made me feel calm.
Once we got the hospital and went through triage, they admitted Elena. After the nurses had checked her dilation for the second time, that's when things started getting crazy. Elena was no longer calm. She was starting to shed tears through the pain and curse and yell. It made me feel so helpless, especially now that the contractions were more like one to two minutes apart. It was hard watching her experience excruciating pain every few minutes for hours on end.
I tried my best to offer her anything I could. She would just shake her head or push me away. I could tell she was in a zone, barely acknowledging I was there. I knew she wasn't doing that to make me feel bad, but rather so she could stay focused and get through this painful labor she was experiencing.
An ear-piercing yelp escaped Elena's lips that made me jump up in surprise. I immediately came to her side and held her hand as she squeezed mine, crushing all the bones together. I was surprised by her strength, and as much as it hurt, I didn't dare complain.
I eventually convinced her to let me rub her back, since she was experiencing a lot of the pain in her lower back. I read a lot of pressure points, and sometimes it helped to alleviate the pain.
She scooted forward on the bed, and I climbed up behind her, so she was sitting between my legs. When she felt a contraction coming, I dug my thumbs into her lower back and rubbed the spot until the contraction was done. "Does that make it feel better?" I asked. I noticed she didn't cuss and yell as much, even though her body still shook like a leaf.
"A little," she nodded exhausted.
"You can lay back," I guided her, so she laid against my chest. The one or two minutes of pain free she got between the contractions, she collapsed in exhaustion.
"Do you want me to keep doing it?" I said against her ear.
She simply nodded, "please."
"Anything I can do to help," I listened to the monitors that played quietly in the background. I was thankful to not feel entirely useless. I absentmindedly played with the hospital wristband on her wrist. It read Elena Salvatore. And I know she married my brother and she never got rid of his last name, but I couldn't help but feel a smile tug in the corner of my lips. Elena and I had agreed to have our daughter carry the Salvatore name, but just the thought that Elena also did made me happy. I hoped she would always remain a Salvatore.
Elena sat forward and I knew that meant she was experiencing another contraction so without having to ask I pushed on that same spot. She lightly whimpered her way through the contraction as her body shook before collapsing back on my chest.
"I can't do it anymore," her voice broke as she shook her head. I watched the tears escape her eyes and my heart broke for her.
"Do you want an epidural?" I asked for the hundredth time. She had stubbornly told me no the last ninety-nine times I asked.
She was quiet, as she contemplated my question.
With another contraction coming she lunged forward, and I did my best to help her through it. "I want one. I want one! Now!" She yelled through the pain.
After she collapsed down on me, I reached for the call button and the nurse asked what we needed. "She wants the epidural," I said into the speaker.
"I'll put in an order right away," she replied. "The anesthesiologist will probably be in thirty to forty minutes." The nurse hung up and Elena started sobbing immediately.
"I can't do it," she cried. "I can't take this any longer."
"Yes, you can," I encouraged, rubbing soothing circles on the top of her hand.
"What do you know?!" She yelled at me, with a voice that only sounded like Satan. And with that she lunged forward, and I pushed into her back with my thumbs.
After she made through another one, she laid on me again. "I'm sorry," she whispered, as tears still ran down her cheeks.
I tried my best to wipe them away as she let all her weight sink into me. "It's ok. I don't know what you're going through right now, but I wish I could take the pain away."
"It sucks," she said quietly. "I don't know how women do this a second time."
"Well, I don't think you need to think about that right now," I chuckled.
She whimpered and I knew that meant she could feel another one coming on. "You did this to me!" That same devilish voice came out of her, as she slammed her fist down on to my thigh so hard, I was sure I'd have a bruise there within the hour.
I helped her forward as she made it through another contraction.
"Damon," she whimpered against my chest after the contraction dwindled away. "I'm done, I can't do this anymore."
"The anesthesiologist will be here soon," I reminded her.
"I can't," she shook her head vigorously.
"You can," I pressed my lips to the top of her head. "You're a strong woman. I know you can."
"It hurts," she sounded exhausted.
"I know it does," I put my hand over her belly. "Do it for her. Our daughter."
The next twenty minutes went by as we played this game of Elena wanting to tap out, even though she couldn't, and I encouraged her through every contraction. She'd yell at me, and I'd take it. She'd remind me that I was the one who put her through this pain. And every time she'd come back down from the pain she'd apologize.
"I don't want any more kids," she collapsed against me after another contraction. "Don't let me have anymore."
I couldn't help but chuckle. "What am I supposed to do? Follow you around and make sure you don't have sex ever again?"
"If that's what it takes," she said only half joking.
"I will gladly make sure every man stays clear away from my baby mama," I teased.
She giggled for the first time all night, "I hate when you call me that. It sounds very…. TRASHY!" She yelled as she lunged forward.
After thirty seconds or so she was laying back on me, and I was enjoying the closeness, even if it was at the expense of her pain. "I would like it if you called me baby daddy," I teased in her ear. "Or just daddy."
"Ew," she smacked my leg, but I could still see a hint of a smile. "Even when I look like a farm animal in labor you still manage to hit on me."
"Good morning!" A balding middle-aged man walked in with a white coat. "I'm Dr. Hanson, and I'll be administering your epidural."
Elena looked like she had just seen Leonardo DiCaprio walk in. I knew it had nothing to do with his looks but rather his ability to numb her from the waist down. She took the epidural like a champ and the only thing negative, was I could no longer sit behind her and snuggle her up. Instead, I settled for the side of the bed.
Three hours later and Elena was pushing. She pushed for 45 minutes before welcoming our beautiful daughter into the world.
She had lots of dark black hair, and a tiny little body. It was too hard to identify who she looked like. Elena and I both shed tears as we stared in awe at her. She only cried for a minute until she was nice and warm in Elena's arms. She kept her eyes open for about fifteen minutes as we ogled and talked to her. She seemed so calm and so at peace, until she drifted off to sleep within seconds.
"I think I know which name she looks like," Elena looked at me, as she gently rubbed circles on our daughters back. "Lilly," she looked down at her and smiled. After my mother.
I hoped that's what she was going to say, because that's what I thought she looked like.
Elena nodded and smiled, "Lilly Salvatore."
"I love it," I smiled back. "I love her."
"Me too," she agreed. "It was worth all the pain."
"See maybe that's why people have more," I pointed out.
Elena snorted, "Not me. At least not for a long time."
I rested my arm on the pillow above her head, as my head hovered close to hers. "Thank you for this," My eyes darted to our daughter. "Thanks for letting me be a part of this whole experience."
"Thanks for proving yourself to me," she smiled.
I looked back at Elena, and I wanted to kiss her so badly. She was so close, and we were riding a pure high with adding a new person to the world. But I knew this wasn't the time or the place. And the fact that Elena probably didn't want anything to do with me.
"What do you say we take our first family picture together?" I dug out my phone.
"Oh Damon," she shook her head in protest. "I'm all sweaty, and exhausted looking."
"You look beautiful," I disagreed.
"I promise you I don't," she argued.
"Elena," I looked at her. "If you didn't just push a baby out of your vagina, I would seriously consider"-
She smacked my arm with her free hand. "You're disgusting!"
I chuckled as I brought my phone up and snapped a picture of us. "See?" I flashed her the picture. "You're still sexy. Even when you have a hospital gown on and a sweaty forehead."
She grimaced as she self-consciously wiped her forehead.
"You did good mama," I leaned down to kiss the top of her head.
"So, did you," she smiled. "Daddy."
Life was a complete blur. I finally understood what parents were talking about when they mentioned getting no sleep and life feeling chaotic. I couldn't tell you what happened in those first few weeks we brought her home, because it felt like we had been living in an alternate universe. A universe where sleep doesn't exist, my body smelling like milk vomit, and baby poop.
Elena was a superhero. She was the one breast feeding every two to three hours and dealing with Lilly being stubborn.
The first three weeks I stayed at Elena's on the couch and got up with her every time. But Elena insisted I go back home and actually get sleep since I was back at work. My boss was not happy with me when I dropped an expensive bottle of liquor shattering it into a million pieces. And he really wasn't happy when it happened two more times that same day.
It sucked, not getting to be with my daughter every night. I felt like I was missing out on so much. So, after many conversations with Elena about it, she agreed to let me have Lilly on Sunday evenings and then I'd bring her back to Elena Monday night. Elena struggled with that the first couple weeks, being away from her for an entire night, and day. But after she realized how much uninterrupted sleep she got, she almost looked forward to it.
I had to admit I was terrified not having her there the first couple times being by myself, but I adjusted quickly. Lilly wasn't super thrilled about bottle feeding, but after realizing there was no other choice she finally surrendered.
I enjoyed my one-on-one time with her. She didn't do a whole lot only being 10 weeks old, but she was my little snuggle buddy. My favorite thing was just to have her lay on my chest, while I rocked her right after finishing a bottle. She'd fall asleep within seconds, and I would just enjoy the closeness. I would get lost in thought, thinking about what our future would look like. A lot of the time I'd picture going to her field trips when she was in elementary school. I'd picture going to her choir concerts in middle school and trying not to cringe at the sound of pre-pubescent children sing off key. Being in the audience when she gets handed a diploma. Walking her down the aisle, as I hand her off to someone, she loves… I'd get so lost in thought.
I'd imagine Elena and I sharing these moments. She'd show up with Leila's stepdad, and some kids she'd share with her new guy. I'd show up alone… always. Elena and I would always be cordial, and we'd even share a smile as we'd look at each other. A smile of pure pride for our daughter and all of her accomplishments.
Sometimes I'd fantasize that we were one big happy family. Elena and I would be married, with a couple more children added to our already perfect family. But that's all it was… a fantasy.
"I think she's getting hungry," my dad looked down at Lilly in his arms. She was starting to fidget and get upset.
I walked into my kitchen and warmed up a bottle in the bottle warmer. "You want to feed her?" I asked as I walked back into the living room.
"I'll give it a try," my dad took the bottle from me.
My dad was very much like me in the sense that it took a lot for us to show emotion, but I knew that she had him wrapped around her finger. The guy was at my house every Monday now. I didn't mind the company, but he was still my dad. He liked to remind me of my mistakes and point out my flaws.
"When do you go out to LA next?" My dad asked.
"New York this time," I corrected. "Next weekend."
My dad just nodded his head. "Are you happy? With your career I mean?"
"Do I like working at a night club as a bartender? No. Not really," I admitted. "Am I disappointed I'm not doing photography more? Sure. Sometimes."
"Do you wish it could be different?" He asked looking down at Lilly, who was now happy to be eating.
"I guess," I shrugged. "But I can't make the job opportunities come here… and I would never leave again. So, I'll have to settle for having it halfway."
"Will this be your first time leaving her?" My dad asked.
I didn't like his choice of words. Leaving her, made me feel like I was abandoning her. "Yeah, I haven't traveled since she's been born. And I'm sure it'll suck. Hopefully it'll get easier each time."
My dad just remained quiet as he looked down at her. "What are you thinking about?"
He was quiet for a long moment, before quietly replying. "Just thinking about Stefan."
My heart broke at the thought. Now that I was a dad, I couldn't imagine the pain my dad felt. You aren't supposed to outlive your children. It's tragic. I too thought a lot about Stefan since she was born. I still remember when my mom and dad brought him home from the hospital. I remember being excited about having a brother. I never thought this many years later, I'd be an only child.
"Do you think she looks like him?" I asked. I wondered what made him think about him. "Is that what made you think about him?"
"I always think about him," my dad sighed. "When you become a parent your whole world changes. The center of your universe changes, and you no longer worry about yourself."
"I get that now," I blew out a breath. "It's scary."
"It's the best thing in the world though," my dad looked up at me. "When your children make you proud."
I swallowed feeling insecure. I was nothing to be proud of. I made a lot of mistakes, and I still couldn't seem to keep two feet on the ground.
My dad handed me Lilly back, so I could burp her. I gently patted her back as I walked her upstairs so I could lay her down for a nap, before Elena got here to pick her up.
"She looks like you," my dad answered my earlier question as I walked back down the stairs empty handed. "Lilly."
"I know, it's so annoying," I heard Elena come into the living room. I didn't even hear her come through the front door.
Giuseppe chuckled, as Elena explained. "I mean she is so cute, but I was the one who suffered for nine months. Don't you think I deserve a little resemblance? Like a nose or even a foot?"
"She is beautiful," Giuseppe smiled. "And she definitely gets that from you."
"Oh thanks," Elena rolled her eyes playfully.
"Well, I was just about to head out," Giuseppe gave Elena a quick hug, and nodded to me before letting himself out.
"Bye Giuseppe," Elena waved as we watched him leave.
"I wasn't expecting you so early," I turned to Elena. "I just laid her down."
"I was just running errands and figured, I'd just come here," she shrugged.
"Should I wake her up?"
"No," Elena's eyes widened. "You know better than to wake a sleeping baby."
I chuckled, "You hungry? I was just about to make dinner."
"Starving," she heaved as she followed me into the kitchen. She jumped up on to my counter as I rummaged through the fridge trying to find something to make.
"How was she for you today?" She asked.
"Much better than last week," I pulled out some ingredients for tacos. "I actually got a stretch of sleep last night. She slept for five hours. Without waking up."
Elena's jaw dropped open, "that is so not fair."
I chuckled, "Are you going to help me? Or are you just going to be a mooch?"
She hopped off the counter, fishing out a knife before washing the tomatoes. "So…" she pulled out the cutting board as I started cooking up the meat. "I was talking to my mom."
"Hmm… What'd she say about me now?" Elena's mom was not a fan of me. I couldn't blame her. I wasn't exactly prince charming like my brother was.
"Nothing," Elena looked at me like she was scolding me. "I was talking to her about your cousin Clare's wedding, and she is going to take Lilly for the night."
"Really?" I was shocked. "I thought you were unable to let her out of your sight for a whole night?"
"I've gotten used to you taking her once a week, so I think I can handle it," she looked down at the tomatoes she was focused on cutting. "So, I think we should book a hotel before they are all gone."
"A hotel?" I smirked. "Trying to get in my pants now are we Elena?"
"Separate hotel rooms," she giggled.
"Sure," I playfully hip checked her. "Nice save."
"I'm serious," she giggled. "I meant separate hotel rooms."
"I will book them tomorrow," I stirred the hamburger in the frying pan. "But don't let that stop you from sneaking into my room if you get lonely."
She grabbed the onion from the plastic bag and started chopping it. "I'm sure you'll find a very pretty lady to bring back to your room," she cleared her throat.
"Ew," I grimaced. "You do realize I'm Italian right? We have big families. That means most of the guests at the wedding will be some relative of mine."
"Since when has that stopped you?" She kept chopping the onions.
I looked over at her with a disgusted face. "Ok I know that I was a bit of a man whore back in the day, but when did I ever sleep with a family member?"
"Me," she finally looked over her shoulder at me. "You slept with me. Sister-in-law, remember?"
"Is that how you view yourself? As my sister-in-law?" The word made me want to gag. She was much more than that to me.
"Technically I am," she said matter-o-factly.
I couldn't help but judge her poor cutting skills. "Have you never cut an onion before?"
She looked back at her hacked-up onion with a frown, "this is always how I cut them."
I turned off the stove and moved behind her, putting my hands over hers. I flipped the onion over, turned it a quarter of a turn and sliced quickly and evenly. "This is how you cut an onion," I chuckled lightly in her ear.
I loosened my hold on her hands and let her finish, on her own. My hands settled on her hips, "We both know I was never just your brother-in-law," I whispered in her ear.
She stilled for just a moment before her shaky hands went back to work. I turned to the stove and went back to adding seasonings, "she looks like you too, you know?"
"Huh?" She turned to me.
"Lilly," I clarified. "You seem bothered when everyone mentions she looks like me. She looks like you too."
Elena cracked a smile, "it doesn't bother me. And I think you must be blind, because she looks like a female version of you."
"I see you in her," I looked at her.
"it's ok… really it is," she still smiled. "I mean despite you being a complete moron and a jackass, you're still a beautiful human."
"I take that as a compliment," I teased. "Even though you insulted me."
Elena giggled, "As long as she has your beauty and my brains, I think we will be just fine."
"Let's hope she has your brain," I snorted as I turned off the stove. "If she is as beautiful as you, I'm screwed."
Elena looked over her shoulder at me, her face flushed, and I just about died. She knows I love when she blushes. "No, no," I shook my head as I approached her. "You know it drives me crazy when you blush," my hand came to brush her flushed cheek.
She shied away from me, turning away from me. I heard a faint giggle escaped her lips before she started walking away from me.
"Elena Salvatore!" I shouted. "Get your ass back here, you have lettuce to chop."
She turned around and her teeth innocently chewed on her lower lip. I wasn't even sure she was aware what she was doing. But between her flushed cheeks, and her massive tits teasing me from the dip of her tank top. I had breastfeeding to thank for the excellent view I was now getting to see almost every day. I was about to tackle her. I had to remind myself I wasn't an animal. I could just mount her anytime I thought about her in that way.
I watched as the mischief in her eyes grew, and she took off running. I chased her like a boy in second grade, chasing his crush on the playground. "Elena!" I scolded her as trapped herself between the staircase and the living room, with no other escape.
I watched her contemplate for half a second, which one would be the better option. I caught her by the waist as she tried to head up the stairs. She giggled as she fell on the carpeted stairs, twisting so that she was face up. I hovered above her. My knee resting on the stair, between her knees. "Elena," I whispered. "You're going to wake up our child." I smiled down at her.
She clamped her mouth shut, as she silently giggled, "I'm sorry."
"Don't you know better than to wake a sleeping baby?" I mimicked her from earlier.
"You're right," She whispered. "I don't know what I was thinking."
How I wish we were laying on my staircase for other reasons. Preferably naked and me buried deep inside her. I scooped her up throwing her over my shoulder. I carried her back to the kitchen and set her on top of the counter. My hands were resting on her thighs as we both laughed. Our eyes met and for a moment we both automatically leaned in. At the same time, we paused realizing we were very close, I took a step back and she turned her head to the side.
"Don't look at me like that," she said as she hopped off the counter and turned to resume chopping the vegetables.
"Like what?" I pretended to play dumb.
"Like you want to see me naked," she said nonchalantly.
I snorted, at her brazenness. "If I wanted to see you naked, I could just go through my phone," I joked.
"Damon!" She scoffed, smacking me in the chest. "You still have those on your phone?"
"Of course, I do," I grabbed the cheese out of the fridge. "That's my right as the ex-boyfriend."
"Fine," her high-pitched voice sounded not fine at all, she turned away from me as she set the table. "Just remember I also have pictures of your…" she turned to me to look me up and down. "Dick pics that you sent me. I could blast them all over the internet."
"Please do, sweetheart," I remained unbothered. "I'm proud of my penis. Feel free to show the world."
Elena clamped her mouth shut as she swiveled around furious that I could be so unaffected. Her hair nearly smacked me in the face as she whipped around, marching back to the cupboards to retrieve a couple of glasses. She set the glasses down on the table with a loud smack, letting me know she was not happy.
"Lena," I grabbed her elbow to turn her towards me. "I would never show those pictures to anyone or put them out into the world. If you want me to delete them I will."
She sighed, as she decided to trust that I was telling her the truth, "I'm starving," she changed the subject.
I smirked, knowing she didn't want me to delete them… maybe there was hope after all.
A/N: What'd you think? Please leave a review and I will see you next week :)
