.-.

Playground

Chapter 16: The Price is Right

A few minutes later, they were settled on a pale yellow sofa far more comfortable than the one in the hotel room, sparkling crystal glasses of whiskey in hand, Tony's barely coating the bottom, Loki's nearly reaching the top. The bottle stood on the low table in front of them, ready to be pressed into service again if called upon.

"Does this seem weird to you at all?" Tony asked after they'd sat in silence for a moment.

"You'll have to be more specific. I can imagine many things at the moment that one might consider weird."

"This," Tony said, sticking his hand out between them and waving it in a circle, palm down. "Us. Sitting here hanging out, even reminiscing about old times. Given what some of those old times entailed."

"Yes."

"Ah, good. I thought it might be just me."

"And no."

"Hm?"

Explaining would perhaps be difficult – Loki was still reflecting on it himself even as he considered how he might respond to Tony, but he decided to make the attempt. "Asgard is much smaller than your world. Much more interconnected, at the personal level. And our lives are much longer. If you held a grudge and refused to let bygones be bygones, as you put it, with every man you got into a brawl with, every woman you ended a relationship with or who ended a relationship with you, every person who gave you cause for any offense over hundreds and thousands of years, you'd be left with few people to hang out with. Or buy and sell wares and services to and from. If you extended that grudge to the person's family and closest friends…you might be left with none."

"Okay. That's the no, then. You have to let go of things and move on, because your society would eventually be ripped apart at the seams if you didn't. I'm going to go out on a limb here and take a stab at the yes. You hold onto the grudges anyway."

Loki stared, briefly, before schooling away his reaction. He could hardly deny it. His mother had counseled him against it, many times. He'd learned to pretend that all was well, that he no longer held onto some affront. But they were always still there, itching just below the surface. His only alliances were those of convenience. Trust ranged from fragile and fleeting to non-existent, and that only worsened once he learned about Jotunheim. Yet here he sat, having a friendly drink with Tony Stark.

"I came to hold certain…resentments," he finally said.

Tony, to Loki's relief, offered a mere nod in place of a joke. "Me, too. I've gotten better about letting them go. It's not healthy, holding on to all that. A lot of it's Pepper's influence. She's seen me at my worst. At my shallowest. We're talking ankle-deep swimming pool here, be prepared for broken bones if you try to jump in. She had a lot to let go of from everything I put her through. The Munchkin helps, too. When I look at her, the past just doesn't seem to matter all that much."

Loki gave his own nod. Neither Jane nor Ollie had swept away his troubles; in fact, they had both introduced new ones, including one perhaps more vexing than anything else prior. But they had changed him, especially Ollie, made many of those old troubles fade from significance. Shifted his priorities, certainly. His outlook, to some extent. It was solely because of Ollie that he sat where he did, with whom he did, in his hand the drink he'd never actually expected to get, back when he'd first generated a smile and asked for it.

"My child wants me to purchase LEGOS because of you," Loki said after sipping at his drink.

"Yeah?"

"I rather wish he hadn't been exposed to those things. I don't want to make his mother call for the amputation of her foot."

"Far be it from me to spoil a marriage."

"Your invention? Or purchased from a store?"

"Kind of both. Morgan's are mostly store-bought, but I did a little tweaking, incorporated some nanotechnology. She's already pretty good at building things, getting better at designing them. I wanted her to have more flexibility with the pieces. I do a lot of that. Try to give her more to work with, you know? It's just play, but she's learning from it. She likes it, too. She gets this look on her face…."

Tony's expression of pride and love was a familiar one. Loki kept his silence and waited.

"I've started teaching her about different forms of energy. Kinetic and potential, thermal and electrical and so on, that kind of thing. Just the basic principles for now. You know she finds rubber bands fascinating? I was thinking I'd take her out to Barton's place in the country and—."

"Mm. You want Morgan to learn about the energy involved in the release of an arrow from a bow?"

"Um…yeah. That's what I was thinking. I think she'd love it."

"I know about his home. His family. I'm surprised that you do. But I understand if you don't wish to speak of it." When he'd come to aid in the effort to stop Thanos, he caught a glimpse of Barton in a corridor once, the closest he'd come to an encounter with the archer. Someone had clearly been working hard to ensure the two were never in the same room together.

"He'd probably rather I not. Things happened. You know, as they do. His bygones are his own to deal with. The family cat's out of the bag, though."

"I see. You should stop introducing my son to toys I can't buy for him. He's going to want shoes with flashing lights like Morgan's now, too."

"Pffft, you can buy shoes like that anywhere. Not my doing, and no tweaking required. Though now I'm going to have to think about that. But you, you should stop telling my daughter you have horses. Your kid wants toys and shoes? Mine wants to go to Asgard for riding lessons. Besides, I thought you couldn't afford toys."

"Thank you ever so much for reminding me of that. I have an idea. I'll arrange riding lessons for Morgan. As it turns out, riding lessons on Asgard are very expensive, and must be paid for in stacks of United States dollars." Loki paused and threw up a hand in a precise, firm halt. "I almost forgot. Transportation. Round-trip travel via bifrost is even more expensive than riding lessons. Dollars stacked to the ceiling," he said, stretching his arm up high and holding his palm down to mark the top of the stack before letting it drop back to his side.

"Incredible. Stop the presses, he has a sense of humor. Unless you were serious, in which case, let me think about it. Hard to top riding lessons on Asgard for a birthday present. Is barely-five too young for that?"

Loki gave a small shrug, uncertain whether Tony was joking. Loki had been joking. Even if such a thing was possible – and perhaps it was, in fact – he was a prince. He did not charge money for arranging riding lessons, much less sell tickets for the bifrost. "I think it may be a little young. I've given Ollie some instruction when he's been riding with me, but he's had no formal lessons yet. I'm not sure he has the patience for it at this point. Perhaps Morgan is different."

"Maybe just one lesson, then. With you."

"With me? Apparently I didn't sufficiently restrain myself when I threw you from that gazebo. You should have your head examined by a doctor."

"Why not with you? I mean, are you kidding? A bone fide ince-pray? Other than that one very specific hang-up, which you're getting better with, you seem good with kids. I'd be okay with you taking her for a ride. I've only ridden a few times myself, and that was decades ago. I wouldn't feel safe enough to have her with me. Plenty of places where we live upstate have horses, we don't even have to go to Asgard."

"I would not take your child or mine or anyone else's on a horse I was unfamiliar with."

"Okay. Asgard it is, then."

The glass went down; this had gone on long enough. "I have to confess something. I'm usually quite good at reading people, but I can't always tell if you're being serious or not. If you truly want to go to Asgard and have me give Morgan a bit of introductory riding instruction, we can probably find a time to do that. But payment is out of the question."

Tony laughed. "So your initial offer wasn't serious? How's this? If you're serious, then I'm serious. I don't always know myself if I'm serious – that's probably what's gumming up your serious-ometer reading. But if we're both getting serious, then I'm also serious about payment. That's how it works. Somebody gives your kid lessons in something, you pay for it."

"You intend to pay Clint Barton for Morgan's archery lessons, then?"

"Uhhh, okay, you got me there. No. But—"

"Tony, I understand that you may see this as more of a business arrangement, but I do not work. No one pays me for doing things."

"No? You're hurting for cash on Earth but you get paid on Asgard, right? Oh! You don't have an actual job but you're on the taxpayer dole anyway, is that it? Paid out of the royal coffers for existing?"

Tony sat back and smiled while Loki stared in silence. This time he was fairly certain he'd just been insulted. Except that smile was still there. A friendly insult, then. In any event, he did have a job of sorts, and he was paid, but the two were unconnected.

"Don't feel bad. I started out the same way. You were handed a royal bank account for having 'Odin' in your last name, I was handed a hefty trust fund for having the last name Stark. I didn't even have any pesky siblings cutting into my share. Thing is, though, the usual way people make money here on Earth is in fact by being paid for doing things. Even me. I invented and built stuff, I marketed it, I sold it. I inherited a multi-million-dollar company and turned it into a multi-billion-dollar company. Easier to accomplish the latter when somebody hands you the former, of course."

"All right. If you insist, then I will charge you the cost of two lunches at McDonalds for one riding lesson for Morgan."

"A riding lesson with Prince Loki Odinson of Asgard? You need to work on your marketing skills and pricing scheme. But actually…would you be interested in getting on a payroll somewhere for real? Bringing home some green bacon? Because I kind of told Pepper I'd find a way to make flying carbon-neutral. I've already done some work in green energy, but this needs a different spin. Instead of making little changes to improve fuel efficiency, what about entirely rethinking the combustion engine? I really was hoping you could tell me about the bifrost. At least to spark some new ideas."

"You want me to teach your daughter to ride, and you want me to work for you? Is that what you're saying? I can confidently answer one of Fury's questions now – you have indeed lost your mind."

"Okay, Mr. Drama Queen, what's so crazy about it? We have a history, sure. But you fixed my kid's ankle and maybe saved her from turning right around and breaking it yesterday afternoon, and that's worth something in my book. I'm not saying I can wipe the memory banks clean on what happened during your first little visit to Earth. Like I said, forgetting's hard. But you came around to the right side later, and I get that you were a little…let's go with 'deranged,' that first time. I mean, I always thought you were, and now I know, and I more or less know why. I've done some things I'm not proud of, in the past. Nothing quite like trying to conquer an entire planet – bonus points for scale there, Prancer – but I've had some impressively big screw-ups. And I know you must have trust issues after Mom and Dad ripped the rug out from under you, but where did you turn when you thought Jane was in danger?"

Loki shot Tony a sardonic look. If Tony decided to repeatedly remind him of that, he would have to intervene and bring it to a swift and permanent halt. He'd had no time to dwell on his quick decisions, but asking Tony Stark for assistance had cut into his pride. "It wasn't as though I had a plethora of other options. And I would have called for our Gatekeeper, but my son was here, and I had to find out if you were involved."

"I was only your second choice? Okay, so it's a little muddier than I thought, but still that was quite the leap."

"It's called desperation."

"Hey, will you work with me here? Look at us now. A couple of family men, fathers of almost-kindergarteners, sharing a morning whiskey. Everything that happened in your first little jaunt on Earth? I vote for putting it behind us. The past is no place to hang your hat. Or your pointy safety helmet. Oh! My bad, I forgot. Ceremonial helmet."

"You keep saying 'first.' It was hardly my first visit, only my first in your lifetime. We have perhaps developed something of an understanding. I…I'm appreciative of that. But I don't think you understand what I'm telling you. I have no interest in working for you. It isn't even particularly personal. I am not an employee." A ludicrous idea. It was so far outside his experience he couldn't even quite conjure it in his imagination. A 'job,' in the sense Tony would use the word, was something other people did, not him and not his family. Even Jane getting one of them rankled a little, but they had agreed, as their relationship grew serious, to respect each other's individual pursuits and boundaries. As different as they were, as complex as their circumstances were, it was the only viable approach. "Besides, Jane knows more about the physical nature of the bifrost than I do at this point."

"Really?"

Loki frowned at Tony's naked interest. "She would have no interest in working for you, either. The reasons for her interest in the bifrost are not the same as yours."

"Yeah," Tony said after a moment. "I guess not. Maybe she'd be willing to give me a rundown, though. But hey, try this wicked little leather and metal get-up on for size. I've never been an employee, either. Clocking in, nine-to-five, performance reviews…I think I'm allergic. Don't work for me. Consult."

"Consult."

"Yep. Consult."

"That is…. What is that?" Loki asked when he gave up grasping for what exactly Tony might mean by the term. "Consulting" was one word for what he did for Thor. But Thor was both his brother and his king, and he did it for the good of Asgard and out of respect for Thor. Out of love for Thor, even. If pressed – if pressed hard – Loki would bend his knee for Thor. Not for anyone else, no matter if the weight of nine realms pressed down upon him. Except for Jane of course, after researching Midgardian traditions for proposing marriage.

"Consulting? It's this sweet deal where you basically do whatever you want most of the time. Follow your own schedule, pursue your own passions, as long as you're also available to answer questions and explore projects for the person, or people, you're consulting for. Within reasonable hours, of course. It doesn't have to be a forty-hour nine-to-five week, and you don't have to be on-call twenty-four seven. You just…you know. Consult. I used to do it for Fury. When I felt like it. I guess I'd hope you'd feel like it a little more regularly than I did."

Loki's eyes narrowed at the mention of Fury. "And if my passions include identifying and implementing a more successful means of bringing your world to heel? My heel, to be more specific?"

"Are you going to make me literally roll my eyes? Jane would kick you to the curb so fast you wouldn't have time to pull your boots on over those heels."

Loki made a show of considering it, then gave a small shrug and picked his drink up again. "You're probably right."

"Besides, what are you going to do all day, anyway? Sit around at home watching the nature channel all day?"

"Ollie will keep me busy."

"Ollie will be in school in a few months."

Loki took a strategic sip of his drink. He'd been trying not to dwell on this problem, and it was a problem. For Jane, for Ollie, he would move to Midgard and stay home – what else was there for him to do here? – learn to cook and clean, take up gardening, perhaps. But what would he do, once those tasks were complete? Sitting still and staring at the television all day, by himself, was unthinkable. How long would it be before the sheer boredom led to a poor decision that created trouble for Jane and Ollie? And he had years of this ahead of him.

"What can I say to tempt you further? What are you looking for?" Tony asked, his tone now almost earnest, entirely lacking any sense of a jest. He may have been half-serious at most when he first mentioned it, but somewhere along the way the man had decided he really wanted Loki to do this consulting for him. A jest in its own way.

"You haven't tempted me at all."

"Sure I have."

"You have not."

"Right. You're happy to be Loki of Midgard, burdened with glorious House Hunters marathons. There's always the afternoon soaps. The morning game shows." Tony broke into laughter.

"What?"

"I was just imagining you on The Price is Right. You would be the worst contestant ever. I should see if I can get you on, that would actually be hilarious. I would buy that show just to put you on it."

"You are so tiresome."

"You know you love it."

"You said you're retired. Why are you so insistent that I work for you when you don't even work for yourself?"

"I said 'more or less retired,' o ye of selective memory, and I said I tinker. And my kid's starting school in a few months, too. I've got a bunch of projects in mind for when the Munchkin's otherwise occupied most of the day. Besides, consult, remember?"

"What do you imagine I would consult on?" There was no harm in asking, if for no other reason than to learn what preposterous ideas Tony's fanciful delusions had supplied him with.

"Where to begin? What is magic and how does it interact with physics and biology and chemistry? What are its physical manifestations? How can we measure it and track it? Are we capable of producing it ourselves, or of replicating it through some technological means? What kinds of energy sources does Asgard use? What about water? They say Earth's next major wars will be fought over water. How does Asgard manage its water supply? The environment is a big one, all aspects of it. Resource management, pollution. There's the bifrost, obviously. So many questions about that, so many potential applications to all sorts of things. Other forms of interstellar travel. I know you have them, even if you usually stick with the bridge. There's a whole host of obstacles there that we haven't overcome yet that you must have figured—"

"Enough. I see now. I should consult and solve all of Earth's problems. Morning game shows sound more intriguing."

"Morning game shows don't pay you, unless you go on one and win, and if that depends on you knowing the price of a new washing machine or a can of green beans, you'll be lucky to go home with a T-shirt for a consolation prize. Know what does pay, and pay well? Consulting for me."

"No."

"It wouldn't be all theory. We'd build things. Test things. It'd be fun. And what about magic? That's not about solving all of Earth's problems."

"No. It's about solving me. Studying me. How to track me, how to counter me, how to contain me. The answer is no."

"Doesn't have to be. Nobody's forcing you to disclose anything you don't want to. But you just gave me another idea. Studying you. Maybe we should do that. You could—. Hey!"

"Clearly you've had more than enough," Loki said, Tony's glass in his hand. In the next second it vanished. "Feel free to study that all you like," he added, following it up with a wolfish grin.

"You didn't let me finish. Aren't there some things about yourself that you would like to figure out? Things that might help you help Ollie? What if we could figure out how Jotun biology works? What Jotun—"

"You really should stop. Immediately." The smile remained; the humor in it did not.

"Okay okay, let me put it in terms I bet you'll like better. What if your people go to war against Jotunheim again? You don't know anything about them. You—"

"We know enough to have defeated them. And that was when they had the Ice Casket and before I turned the bifrost on them. If they were foolish enough to attack us now, we would utterly destroy them."

"Um, okay. Right. But war is unpredictable, you know that. What if Asgard had been weakened by something else first? What if Jotunheim picked up a powerful new ally? Wouldn't you want to better understand them? How they regulate their temperature, and their freezing touch? And specifically how they make those ice weapons? What if that knowledge would help you defeat them? And what about Ollie?"

Annoyance shifted immediately into anger and the instinct to strike. That Tony had taken care of Ollie overnight, had fed him breakfast and played with him in the morning, stayed a clenching hand. "What about him?" he asked, voice rumbling with intentionally implicit threat. "He has nothing to do with them."

"Biologically he does. What if something happened to him, like he got stuck in Jotun phase somehow? When he changes it's a conscious decision, right? What if he was sick or injured and lost consciousness while blue? Wouldn't you want to know how his body works? How to treat him? Even basic first aid stuff. What does the heartbeat sound like? What should his temperature be? What internal organs does he have? Is it really not as obvious to you as it is to me that knowing this stuff would be a Good Thing, capital-g, capital-t? If he needed medical treatment in Jotun form, wouldn't you want to be able to base that on something other than total guesswork?"

Loki was standing before he realized he had any intent to do so. He had nowhere to go, nothing to do, but a painting hung on the wall, something full of colorful shapes abstract enough that he could stare at it as though he cared a whit about its composition. Not that Tony would for half a second believe it. He didn't want to think about this. Unfortunately, not thinking about it was no longer the equivalent of banishing it from existence. And Tony was right, yet again. He did need to learn about Ollie's physiology when in Jotun form. Had his son not already experienced a moment of frustration, a moment when he meant to revert to Aesir and, for a few seconds, could not? At least it looked like that's what had happened. And how much effort had he invested into understanding Midgardian physiology, when he and Jane decided to truly commit to one another, for life? Being Jotun was not inherently bad, he reminded himself. Therefore Jotun physiology, Jotun biology, was also not inherently bad.

Pills did not come more bitter.

He and Ollie could explore this, on their own. They did not need Tony, or Tony's job, or Tony's consulting. They had already done so, a little. But how far could they go like that, simply examining their own and each other's bodies? What would that tell him about his son's heart or lungs or kidneys? Yet what was he supposed to do instead, submit Ollie for intrusive tests, as though his child was a lab specimen? How would he explain to Ollie why he didn't already have this information, why he didn't know the first thing about how a Jotun's body functioned, and neither did anyone else?

No. Better that his own body was examined, abhorrent as the idea was. Tony already knew. He could, probably, trust the man with such a process. After working himself up to it. After first figuring out how to make the shift that Ollie so readily did.

And there was still another problem. What did Tony expect to get out of this? This consulting was supposed to benefit Tony. If he was to be paid, then he was meant to provide service of some sort. Only one possibility presented itself.

"You hope to identify weaknesses in me?" he asked, turning abruptly in hopes of catching an honest reaction. "Vulnerabilities?"

"Not exactly where I was going with that, no. You're wondering what's in it for me? You're an alien. You're two aliens all rolled up into one. You know the extent of xenobiology research on Earth? Okay, I was going to say 'zero,' but I wouldn't be surprised if SHIELD's managed to get in a little on the side here and there. And HYDRA…probably best not to think about that one too much. SHIELD pushed the boundaries of ethics and HYDRA said 'hold my beer.' One of these days I'll catch you up on them. Anyway, the human body is a mechanical marvel. No machine comes close. What we learn about how complex physiological processes happen can inform all kinds of scientific breakthroughs. So who knows what we could learn from studying non-human physiological processes, too. But I've got to be honest, I'm also just massively curious because, you know: aliens. Little green men and all that jazz."

Loki waited for a moment to be certain Tony had finished and not just paused for breath, then took a deep breath of his own. "If I may summarize, stripping away all the unnecessary blather, you're saying you believe that by studying me, you may gain knowledge which is transferrable to other endeavors."

"Don't forget the dying of curiosity part. Just thought it was important to be honest about it. And something tells me that if we do this, then once you can see at least a little past the prejudice, you're going to be plenty curious yourself."

Loki scoffed at that, but it wasn't worth arguing over. Besides, another potential benefit of this idea had begun taking shape. "Do you think you would be able to identify what causes the temperature drop, and the ice formation?"

"Maybe. We'd probably need to map out the basics of the physiology first. Then we'd identify everything that changes when he makes ice and tease apart correlation and causation."

"Not Ollie," Loki said with a single shake of his head. "You will not study Ollie. Only me."

"Okay…then you'll have to learn how to do that stuff, too. If I can't observe it happening, and if you don't have something really obvious, like say an extra internal organ conveniently labeled 'Ice Maker,' in English mind you, then I don't see any way of identifying how the ice cube function works."

"If I must learn, then I will learn." He couldn't believe the words coming out of his own mouth. He couldn't believe that he meant them. He couldn't believe that none of this had ever occurred to him before. But then, until yesterday, he'd convinced himself that he would be able to ignore this shadow of Jotunheim that existed in his son, that he could simply forbid it from appearing and it would fade away into nothing more than a bad memory, to be forgotten over the centuries. "I will learn, so that I can teach Ollie. I'll make sure he never accidentally injures anyone."

"Worthy goal. Might not be easy. You're starting from nothing."

"I am a stranger to neither persistence nor hard work."

"Really? That's good. Because I thought your speed was more fancy speeches and glow sticks."

"You continually inspire me to wonder why anyone tolerates you. Why any woman, particularly one as sober-minded as Ms. Potts, would consent to marry you."

"First off, those are glass walls you're chucking stones through, buddy, and second, if you ever figure it out, fill me in."

"This isn't consulting," Loki said, returning to the sofa now that he was calmer. "It isn't a job. It's you assisting me with a personal matter, potentially receiving some benefit from it yourself. If anyone should be paid in this scenario, it's you."

"You take 'stubborn' to new heights. Anybody ever tell you that?"

"All the time."

"Okay. If I can't tempt you with scientific discovery…how about some occasional excitement?"

Loki scrutinized Tony for clues to his meaning for a moment before responding. "What kind of excitement?"

"Ha! See, look at that, that look on your face. I knew I could tempt you."

"That look is not temptation. It's suspicion."

"Anybody ever told you you're paranoid, too?"

"A few times. Usually shortly before I saved that person's life."

"There we go! That's exactly what I'm talking about."

"Then you'll have to explain, because I haven't heard you talk about anything at all."

"You know why consulting came to mind? Like I said, I used to consult for SHIELD. You know the first major thing I ever consulted for them on? You, right after you showed up in New Mexico and made off with the Tesseract."

It took a few seconds for Tony's point to click. "I consult for you, as you consulted for SHIELD, and if I'm lucky, some…how did you put it? Some teensy bit delusional alien shows up offering a solution to one of Earth's many – many – problems, and then I will earn my pay and what's more, enjoy myself, by assisting you in defeating this misguided alien?"

"Precisely. How does that sound?"

Insulting. In so many ways, none that Loki cared to examine deeply.

Exploitative. He had no desire to be a relic resting on anyone's shelf waiting to be put to use.

Intriguing.

There was that moment this morning. Wandering, even prowling Manhattan's streets, itching for a fight, a means of bleeding off some of the ever-increasing pressure. That would've been a fight on his terms, though. To serve as a beast unleashed and unmuzzled at another's direction would be intolerable.

And yet…he would be calling this realm home, at least for the next several years. This was Jane's home. It would be Ollie's home, perhaps as much as Asgard. Direction did not matter. Direction could be ignored. Information mattered. Tony would have the information, and if Loki worked with him, Tony would share that information. And Loki would act as he saw fit, and woe unto anyone who dared attack or even threaten this realm. Not the realm his wife and son called home.

Tony was watching him closely, an annoyingly self-satisfied smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth. The man clearly thought he'd won this argument of sorts. Insufferable smug churl. Lucky for him, Loki wasn't the extremely sore loser he used to be. Though perhaps a bit of mischief might be in order. Later.

"I do miss the occasional adventure. My fool brother used to drag me along on them regularly, and all too often mired us in some sort of trouble that he would try to punch his way out of, even when outwitting those who stood against us was the wiser approach. Now that he's king, he rarely has the time, and…now that I'm father to a young child, I find myself less inclined toward taking risks than I once was. I speak only of seeking out unnecessary risk, of course. If a threat presents itself…I will eliminate it. With relish."

"There's the can-do attitude I've been looking for. And ditto. I try a little harder not to accidentally break my own neck these days."

"If I were to agree to this…I would require training facilities. I should keep my reflexes quick and my aim true."

"I have training facilities. Well, I have testing facilities, but I can trick 'em out however you want."

"I told Jane I would do the cooking and cleaning. But I don't want to do the cooking and cleaning."

"See? Problem solved. With two salaries…let's try that again. With your salary, you can hire somebody to help with that. If Jane's going to be working for a research institute or a university, she's probably not going to be making that much. But consulting for Stark Industries pays well."

"How well?"

Tony laughed. "When you come around, you come around all the way, don't you? I bet you never did anything halfway in your entire life. How much do you want? Just out of curiosity."

Loki reached for a figure and grasped at nothing. Random numbers flashed through his mind: the cost of a Happy Meal, an ice cream cone, the hotel rooms they'd stayed in, the room service meals in those hotel rooms. Not nearly enough data to translate into a desired salary. And contemplating it brought back the sense of discomfort over having a job.

"I will have to consult my consultant."

"You do that. And in the meantime, I'll talk it over with the CFO and put together an offer. It'll be generous, in recognition of the unique expertise and experience you bring to the table, with all the flexibility you could want as the father of a young tyke and as a spoiled prince who's never had to do his own laundry or boil his own water. Oh! And every day is casual Friday. Suit and tie not required."

"I rather like suits and ties," Loki said, ignoring Tony's ridiculous exaggerations. He did know how to boil water, after all.

"Suits and ties not required but totally acceptable. Even capes and safety helmets are on the approved attire list."

"What a relief. However, we have a not insignificant problem." That he'd only thought of it when mentioning his "consultant" was a testament to how overwhelming these last two days had been.

"Lay it on me. I specialize in problem-solving."

Interesting. He'd never thought of it quite like that, but, Loki supposed, so did he. "We're speaking as though we both live here. But I don't know where my family and I will end up. Jane prefers the United States because she would rather Ollie grow up in the country she did – and since you raised the citizenship issue, I prefer that now, too – but even that much hasn't been certain. And I think her first choice would be California, where she spent most of her life. We'll still have some time before the school year begins, but we'll want to use that time to get Ollie settled and comfortable wherever it is that we move to. In practical terms…I don't see how this could work. Although I would still appreciate your assistance in understanding the, ah, the relevant biology, as we discussed. If you are willing."

"No 'if's,' willing is an understatement. More like Morgan-watching-her-shoes-get-sliced-open enthusiastic. Except that was such an inappropriate metaphor. Simile? Anyway, didn't mean to bring up slicing things open. Nothing's getting sliced open. Unless you want it to. I mean no, nothing's getting sliced open. Sorry. Seriously, I didn't mean to suggest you'd be a lab experiment."

"I would be a lab experiment, but a voluntary one. No offense taken. And I doubt you have a knife sharp enough to slice me open."

"You should stop, because that sounded a lot like a challenge. Back to the problem. There's always commuting, but granted, California to New York is more of a hurdle than upstate to Manhattan. Video conferencing, but that's no substitute for in-person, hands-on. Can't test knives over a screen, now, can you? Here's the solution: Ask Jane to focus on something in the New York area."

"I can't do that," Loki said after the initial burst of surprise passed. "I understand that this country has many schools of higher learning, but only a minority of those conduct significant astrophysics research. And Jane has been outside of formal Midgardian academia for years now…and she's married to me. Few of these institutions will have appropriate positions available, and fewer still will be willing to consider her for them, despite her unique experiences and her unfettered brilliance. I can't ask her to limit herself to only New York. Especially not when her meetings here turned out to be with SHIELD, or whatever it is you said they're called now, and not a potential employer."

"How do you know they're not a potential employer?"

"Because Jane will not be working for any version of SHIELD," Loki snapped, though he hadn't realized until Tony mentioned it that Nick Fury might want to employ an astrophysicist anyway. "And because that's not why Jane sought them out." Surely she hadn't also wanted to work for them.

"Regardless, I don't think asking her to prioritize something in the New York area is unreasonable. Doesn't have to be right here in Manhattan. Pennsylvania's good, even over toward Boston could probably work. There are a lot of good universities in the region. And remember, the number one reason she wanted you to move back to good ol' Earth was for Ollie, and this benefits Ollie, too. And you know what? You agreed to move to another planet for her, against your own preferences, when she wasn't exactly being entirely honest about why she wanted you to do that. She can accommodate you by sticking to one region of it. Simple compromise."

Tony made it sound so reasonable. It was reasonable. He had left all of this entirely in Jane's hands, with zero input from him. Of course, that was due at least as much to him not wanting to move here at all as it was to any magnanimity in allowing Jane complete control of the decision-making. He had never wanted to interfere, much less make demands, in the spheres of her life that were solely hers, but this did affect them both. Should they not both have some say in where they moved?

"You're going to get me in trouble with my wife," Loki said, imagining the conversation to come.

"Do me a favor and when you bring this up, don't pull the old 'Tony said,' 'kay?"

Tony had spoken without looking up, fingers flying over his phone.

"What are you doing?"

"Just…here. FRIDAY, throw up a map of all the decent physics departments doing astronomy research in…let's say a 200-mile radius of Manhattan or the Watertown airport, excluding Canada. Easy commute when you have access to private jets. Upstate would be easier, actually. More space, more privacy."

The map that appeared over the coffee table was sprinkled with red dots – dozens of them, to Loki's surprise. Perhaps it wouldn't be as limiting as he had assumed. Meanwhile, Tony was still intently working away at his phone.

"I ask you again, what are you doing?"

"Nothing. Geez, let a guy check the stock market, huh? So how's Jane doing, otherwise? Must've been a big adjustment, moving to Asgard. Marrying an alien."

"There were many adjustments. But she's fine."

"Now it's your turn to make the adjustments," Tony said, finally putting the phone back in his pocket. "Thinking of bringing any more Loki or Jane Juniors into the world?"

"No."

"That was fast. Why so resolute? I don't mean to pry. Except okay, I totally mean to pry. For what it's worth, Pepper and I are signing on for dealing with Only Child Syndrome, too. We're getting older, the risks start increasing. We talked about adopting, but we decided we were happy with our own daily episode of Three's Company."

"What risks do you face? If it isn't inappropriate to ask. Aging isn't an issue for having children on Asgard."

"Obviously. What are you, 10,000 now?"

"Barely past 1,000, thank you."

"Just out of diapers, huh? Here, you hit your forties and the risk goes up for miscarriage, high blood pressure, gestational diabetes, chromosomal abnormalities, lots of things. Even in your thirties the risk is already going up. We could manage all that, but Pepper was already dealing with complications with Morgan. We decided the risk was more than we wanted to take on. Of course, the internet says only children are also at greater risk of becoming serial killers. But we figured we were okay with that risk. Seriously, before you trust anything you read on the internet, run it past Jane, okay? Not saying you're gullible, just, you didn't grow up getting e-mails from Nigerian princes offering to make you rich if you just send them five K first."

"I'll take it under advisement," Loki said dryly. He had been on the internet, and had already figured out that much of it was nonsense. "Our situation is…." Except it wasn't as different as he'd been about to say. The causes were different, the results essentially the same. "It happened once when Jane was pregnant."

"It? What—. No. It?"

Loki nodded. "We were asleep. Jane woke up with a sharp pain, and seconds later she lost consciousness. Then she stopped breathing. When I got her to the healers her heart had stopped, all of her internal organs were shutting down. I have never been more afraid in my life. More…powerless. Useless. She was dying before my eyes. And she was not even seven months along. Our infants do not thrive when born so early. Everything I held dear…."

Loki paused to swallow and clear his throat.

"Jane talked me into it. I didn't think we should try to have a child. Jotunheim wasn't even my primary concern. We weren't sure if the changes in Jane were stable, and any child would require careful attention to genetic make-up, too. Aesir pregnancy lasts a little longer than yours, and Jane is so small. We had agreed that we could be happy without children. But she changed her mind."

He glanced to the left, having kept his eyes forward until now, and found Tony neither recoiling at the raw emotion in his words and voice nor gushing with signs of pity. It calmed him. "I don't regret it. How could I? Ollie is…I never imagined love could be like that, and I can't imagine my life without him. But I can't risk that again."

"What happened?" Tony asked after a few seconds later. "He changed back before it was too late?"

Loki shook his head. "Our head healer warmed him, by hand. She had to open Jane up. Breach the placenta. It was a brutish form of healing, by Asgardian standards. But it worked. It made him change. In the meantime they were keeping her alive through artificial means, and they were able to repair the damage done. We don't know why it happened, but the covers had come off the bed and the night had turned cold and Jane wasn't wearing much, we could only speculate that perhaps she had grown cold and the baby instinctively changed to feel warmer. Eir was skeptical…but we needed a reason. If we didn't know what had caused it, then how could we prevent it from reoccurring? We made sure that Jane and especially her belly stayed warm for the rest of her pregnancy. We made sure healers were always near, constantly monitoring Jane…. It was a difficult time."

"Not one you're in a hurry to repeat, got it."

"No."

"That's fine, that's good. There are a lot of advantages to being an only child. And look at me, I'm an only child and I turned out okay."

Loki fixed a dubious appraising look on Tony. "You aren't a serial killer, at least."

"See? It's all good. Oh, hey, I meant to mention, have you done any thinking about Saturday school?"

"No. I thought your schools are in session only Monday through Friday."

"They are. But some families that want their kids to learn about their cultural roots send the kids to an extracurricular program. Like Chinese families sending their kids to Chinese School. Jewish families doing Hebrew School. Sundays for that one. Maybe you could do Asgard School."

"Asgard School," Loki echoed as he considered it. "It would hardly compensate for everything he'll miss, but it would be better than nothing. However, your realm suffers from a distinct lack of Asgardian teachers."

Tony shrugged. "He's got you, doesn't he? Talk to the teachers on Asgard and come up with a plan. How hard can supplemental activities for a kindergartener be? And how about this? Call it Asgard-slash-Magic-School and Morgan and I'll both attend, too."

Loki let his eyes drift closed and his head fall back against the sofa. This again. He laughed.

"Saturday and one weekday evening, maybe. Or half-day kindergarten, what about that? Half-day kindergarten, then something that's more tailored to what our kids need. We see how that goes and figure it out from there. I really think you can make this work. Lots of world leaders send their kids abroad for education, where the school isn't focusing on their home country's history and literature. The son of a South American president went to my boarding school. Guy's a bigwig in his country's congress now. If you add on a month or two spent on Asgard in the summer, some kind of summer school, summer camp combo…not that I'm trying to dictate your life to you or anything. Just thinking aloud."

"I'm relieved, since it certainly sounded like you were trying to dictate my life to me." And sign up for magic school classes that he had not offered to teach. "But what is all this talk of 'we'? Even if I agree to consult, and I remind you I have not, how do you expect…?" Tony was speaking as though they were to be neighbors, not 200 miles away from each other, and Loki was suspicious. Yes, Tony liked the sound of his own voice, was prone to ramble about things that meant nothing to Loki, and did not take as much care with what escaped from his mouth as Loki did, but the man did not misspeak, not like that.

He had no time to finish his question, though, no time to get an answer to it, for footsteps were approaching on the stairs.

"Daddy, Ollie turned blue again!"


Notes

I finished this story a couple weeks ago (today being July 10/11, 2021), and it was allllmost done for weeks before that, but I hit another snag with a kind of family emergency situation that was eating up every single spare minute and leaving my totally exhausted. Things are smoother there now, but let me just quote my late paternal grandmother, a stereotypical saint of a never a bad word (literally) to say about anyone or anything, give you the shirt off the back kind of grandmother: "Getting old is hell." She was not wrong! Anyway, it's just a question of final edits and partitioning a 50-page Word doc into chapters at this point (and getting back to you on reviews!), so here's this chapter. Tony and Loki, sigh. This story has become so self-indulgent. Whatever. It's fanfic, that's the point, in a sense. :-) I hope you enjoyed it, and, there are two more chapters left.