Lucas owns Star Wars, I just like to play here…

Leia Organa was awake. Must be about 0300 hours, she mused as she got up. She straightened out the top of her desk and made her way to the door. She flipped off the light and stepped out into the dark corridor. Since the destruction of Alderaan three years ago, her sleeping patterns were not consistent and could be mostly attributed to the fact that she avoided sleep as much as possible, getting by on much less than she should have. For sleeping brought dreams and that was something she was determined to avoid since she had no control over them. She managed to convince most people that she was simply a night person; that she was fine. She wasn't fine and she knew it, a few others as well, and she had her suspicions that the High Council harbored doubts regarding her mental health. But there was no sense in anyone, especially herself, to focus on anything else but the eventual destruction of the Empire. Then she would be fine. Even the destruction of Vader himself would be a good start.

Vader. She immediately tried to push the thought of him out of her head. At times, this wasn't an easy task. She couldn't help but get caught up in the thoughts that revenge can bring to one's mind. It was a path, once traveled, to easily find again. Could she make him suffer in the same way she had? Was she capable of the same viciousness that had been infected on her? She was doing her best not to consciously dwell on the events that occurred during her captivity on the Death Star. The images came back vividly enough when she wasn't awake. He did this to me, what can I do to him? How do you inflect pain on a being that lives in a machine?

After a moment she again tried to earnestly push the idea out of her mind. She must remain true to the values her father wanted her to live by; the ones he lived by. Revenge was not one of them. She struggled inside to remember that restoring the Republic was for the good of all, not something to be done out of her own desire for revenge. As for her hatred toward the Empire and Vader, that was something not so easily cast aside and sometimes it got the best of her. It sometimes caused her lash out at others, because they didn't seem dedicated enough, didn't seem to understand just how important this was, what they were really fighting for. She knew this wasn't really the case; everyone was here because they wanted to be and were free to go at anytime. Including...then she realized that someone in particular was the victim of her fury more often than anyone else.

She passed by the hanger bay and despite her best efforts turned her head slightly and looked across the expanse to notice that Han was outside the Falcon working on some component at a tool bench. It's always something, isn't it? She caught herself smiling as she stopped to discretely watch from afar.

She watched as he bent over the tool bench intently trying to make something fit that looked as if it didn't go together at all. Is that what we've been doing all this time? Trying to make something fit that doesn't go together? Yet, even as she said this to herself she didn't want to believe it. There was something stirring that was buried deep inside her somewhere that very much wanted to try, but the more she wanted it, the more she did nothing. Even as his attempts became more obvious, she wondered how much longer they would continue before they stopped. Not much longer she feared. Then what would he do? Leave?

Just then, Han looked up and saw her across the bay leaning against the archway. He was sure she was watching him. He gave her a wink that she couldn't miss, even from across the bay, and turned his attention back to what he was doing.

This abruptly jarred Leia from her daydreaming. Actually, she correctly herself, it's not really daydreaming when it's the middle of the night. Quickly, she turned away and continued down the hall.

A few minutes later, when he finished what he was doing, Han looked up once more and was disappointed to see Leia was gone. But he had an idea where she went.

Han began cleaning up his mess after his latest project, a modification really. He knew it must be pretty late. The Princess wandering around the base was a good indicator. She didn't make many appearances anymore outside of her office during the day. He shook his head wistfully and cleaned himself up a bit.

Three years, more or less. He thought by now that he had more than enough to pay back Jabba, even with the inflated interest that he was sure had at least tripled by now. In addition, safely tucked away in a secret compartment in his cabin was every credit the Alliance gave him for the Death Star rescue of Leia. He couldn't bring himself to touch it, especially when a moralistic Wookie stood in the way every time he reached for it. Of course, Chewie was just reminding him of what he already felt. It felt like blood money, in a twisted sort of way. He couldn't quite explain it to himself, after all, he didn't destroy Alderaan; but he knew that it just felt wrong. Despite having nothing to do with the fate of Alderaan, the money seemed so tainted. He just didn't feel right being rewarded when the whole incident was the source of so much pain and loss for Leia. So, he and Chewie decided that it might be alright to hang around, helping a little to maintain security, base operations (these well intentioned do-gooders sometimes had no idea what they were doing), and run supplies to make a little money guilt free. He even occasionally pitched in when the X-Wing Squadrons ran training maneuvers, but that was for fun, not money. Kiest! Even when he did make money, it wasn't what he would get on the outside, and that was more his fault than anyone elses. For some insane reason he never demanded what he should, even though he suspected the Alliance would pay more than they did.

What the hell am I still doing here? He had all sorts of pre-prepared excuses that he used whenever anyone brought this very question up. And no one brought it up more than Leia. That woman had to question everything. Relentlessly. He knew why he was here and he felt she also knew exactly why, in spite of her naïve act. But he'd be damned if he was going to admit it to her (or anyone else), at least not without some real encouragement. Han admitted to himself, quite some time ago, that his feelings for Leia ran deep. He was a grown man; he had no reason to lie to himself about such a thing. Everyone else was always a different story.

Adequately cleaned up, he wasted no time as he headed across the hanger bay and proceeded straight down the hall that he was sure Leia took just a few minutes ago. As soon as he stepped outside he spotted her across the sparsely vegetated field; her small form perched up on a large rock. He noticed how the faint glow of the setting moon cast a faint aura around her. Her attention was cast upward and his was on her. He continued on.

When he reached her, he just stood there a minute watching. Then he spoke, "Did you find it?"

"No," she whispered. "Not yet."

He cautiously sat next her, and when she didn't flinch he pressed into her lightly from behind and raised his arm up to the side of her head and pointed overhead to a bright star that wasn't really a star, or even a planet anymore, it was more like a ghost-light now. It was Alderaan.

She took a deep breath and he felt her slight shudder. She relaxed back into him and just stared up at that ghostly-light. Han leaned gently back a little and hoped she'd move with him. She did. He place a hand flat on the rock and used his arm for support while he moved his right arm, the one he pointed to Alderaan with, and draped it across Leia hoping she wouldn't pull away.

The rebels had just moved to this base on Navarrea a few weeks ago and until the perimeter sensors were fully in place a couple of days ago no one was allowed outside, especially at night. Han knew as soon as she could, Leia would be outside spending countless hours stargazing instead of sleeping; looking for Alderaan. She did this everywhere the rebels set up a base. He helped her find Alderaan that first time at Yavin IV. After the medal ceremony, after the following celebration settled down he followed her outside. He recalled that it was the first time they had been alone for more than just a couple of minutes. While his initial intention when he followed her out was not as honorable as he'd care to admit, he was taken aback by the way she stood alone with her eyes fixated on the night sky. A sky that was devoid of the Death Star that he, a wookie, a farmboy and princess should not have survived and shinning with the light of a planet that wasn't really there anymore. He felt terrible back then as he realized that his timing was completely inappropriate. So Han just moved closer to offer silent support as he stopped near her. They stood together and silently watched the sky until Leia simply backed away and turned her back toward him in tears. He just stood behind her, supporting her weight and let her take all the time she needed. While the rest of the rebels were celebrating and congratulating the farmboy-turned-hero, he looked after a princess. By the time morning came she was about to pass out and he escorted her back to the quarters she'd been assigned. Her new home. Not a word was spoken about that night. Leia never really even acknowledged his presence and support until she stopped him as he was leaving, reaching up to kiss him on the cheek. He always made it a point since then to check his charts when they moved. When she passed by the hanger bay he had a hunch this is where she would wind up.

The night was beautiful. He never really tired of sky gazing either, although his reasons were different from Leia's. Ever since he was a kid, it was about what is out there, where he could go and how fast he could get there. It was about finding the life he wanted, not grieving for one lost.

He suddenly found his self saying, "I used to fall asleep outside all the time when I was a kid."

That was all he said and Leia wanted to know more. He rarely- no, he never made comments about his childhood and this was the first time Leia remembered him doing so. At least to her. She waited for more, but that was all he said. Why did you sleep outside Han? Because you wanted to? Or did you have to? Then it occurred to her that she was getting far too comfortable sitting like this and she sat up.

"Is something wrong with the Falcon? You seemed to be having a little trouble back there."

Well, that was nice while it lasted. He wished she would've been still a little longer…"Naw, it's alright. Just a little tweaking. I had an idea how to soup up the accelerator compensator. I got together again. I didn't mean to work so late."

"Oh. Good."

"Listen, Princess. We better back head back inside. If people catch us together this late, they might get the wrong idea." He just couldn't resist adding, "They might think you're taking advantage of me."

"You're right. We can't have that now, can we?" She slid off the rock and reached over to grab Han's outstretched hand to pull him off the rock. "Let's go."

When they reached base doors Han stopped her and looked directly into her eyes. "Just for the record, I wouldn't be offended at the idea of you taking advantage of me." The door slid open and he gestured for her to move first through the entry.

She stepped through and made sure he noticed her rolling her eyes. She looked over her shoulder and said, "Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I just don't like you?"

"Never."

"Goodnight, Han" She hurried down the hall so Han wouldn't notice the smile that she couldn't hold back anymore.

"Sweet dreams, your Highness." He wasn't even sure she heard as she was already turning into an intersecting corridor. His gaze lingered for a while down the emplty hall before he shook his head to attention and headed back to the Falcon for some sleep. He had meeting with General Rieekan in a few hours.