a/n: I wrote another story about Sirius/hermione called 'Well Worth the Trouble' where Antonin was the villain and had a sort of stalkerish obsession with Hermione. She ends up with Sirius in that, however, some readers expressed an interest in the darker wizard. So here it is! My take on the Antonin/Hermione trope and I warn you it's going to be a lot of mischievous fun...and no offense is meant to actual Russian people, the burlap sack thing is NOT actually a Russian tradition. The traditions described in this story are from my imagination. I have no familiarity with Russian culture although I find it fascinating and find the accent hot. Note: parts of Antonin's dialogue are deliberately misspelled to emphasize his accent. Also warning, this Hermione Granger/Antonin Dolohov story has some humour in it because that's just my writing style, I always include humour but it is serious too.


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I'm the Bad Guy, Duh

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Song: Billie Eilish - Bad Guy
Pairing: Antonin Dolohov/Hermione Granger.

Antomione. Set around Deathly Hallows

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Hermione breathed in heavily as she squeezed herself onto the side of the wall, trying to stay as flat as possible so that she wouldn't be seen by the wizard on the other side. The wizard who had also stolen her wand, so that she couldn't apparate.

His footsteps paused as he approached the brick wall, behind which she hid.

"Are v'you there, my flightly ptitsa?"

Oh god, please Merlin, don't let him find me. Anyone but him, she prayed silently.

"V'you do not need to be afraid of me," the wizard spoke quietly and she wondered why he wasn't moving. He seemed to be standing perfectly still on the other side of the wall.

Shit. Shit. Shit. "He must know I'm here," Hermione thought in panic.

She looked around at the dark alley. Everywhere she turned there were fences and more walls, from the backs of buildings, but no doors or windows she could slip through or climb over to get away.

"Come out 'ov 'vur hiding," Antonin Dolohov said with his heavy Russian accent. "I won't hurt v'you."

Hermione Granger felt her heart beat wildly in her chest. She had to make a run for it; it was now or never.

Either she'd be caught by Dolohov or she'd make a mad dash down the alley and disappear into the nearest hiding spot she could find.

One, two, three. "Run!" Hermione told herself.

She set off at a mad pace down the cobbled stones of the alley. Her feet carrying her as fast as they dared.

A split second later she could hear Dolohov behind her and then he began hurling spells at her.

She dodged the first two spells, but then a well aimed Arresto Momentum hit her square on the back and her legs and feet stopped moving.

Antonin chuckled behind her as he levitated her backwards towards him.

"Caught v'you."

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a/n: Btw I am not sure why, but in other Antonin Dolohov stories I've browsed, they have him speaking perfect English without an accent. I don't know why, I guess it's a personal choice, but I prefer to write my Antonin with a thick accent and not being Westernized at all but still having some very wild and traditional ideas. The way I write Antonin is my own unique characterization. I refuse to write Antonin Dolohov as either western/modern or politically correct, nor as either a sappy good guy or a monster. While I try to keep my Hermione Granger her regular Western, politically correct feminist self. So it is a cultural clash.