This whole thing started as a joke, and then spiraled into something way more serious than intended. Apparently asking people like Rina-Calavera and Xan what would happen if Lloyd demanded vegetables instead of candy that fateful day in Jumanikai Village was a mistake. Anyway, please enjoy this oneshot set in our newfound No Secrets au!


"Gimme all your vegetables!" the small boy demanded, brandishing a stick he'd found in a nearby forest. After several minutes' worth of staring at him, the shopkeeper shrugged, and said, "Well, okay."

She began gathering an assortment of fruits and veggies from her shelves and putting them into a large box. Lloyd watched her with a face that could be most accurately compared to a goldfish.

"What?" He demanded. All his classes at Darkley's had made it sound as though people always fought back during a robbery. He had several weeks of real-life experience to prove it! People didn't take kindly to being stolen from. And… He was pretty sure he wasn't scary enough to have terrified the shopkeeper into submission on his first try. Not when his clothes hung off him like a scarecrow and his hair looked like an upside-down bird's nest. Yeah, he was well aware of how pathetic he looked right now.

"You said you wanted vegetables, kid." The shopkeeper told him evenly. She continued her packing.

"Well-well yeah," he began, "but I didn't expect you to just give them to me. I'm Lloyd Garmadon, son of the dark lord. People are supposed to cower in fear when I'm around!"

She just looked at him. The mention of his father didn't seem to have much of an effect on her.

"Sorry, kid, but if I see someone who looks like they've been hit by a bus and starved half to death, I'm giving them food – no questions asked."

"But..." Lloyd started to protest. He couldn't understand why this was so different from all the other times he'd had to resort to thievery to feed himself. The last time he'd tried it, he'd been chased from the premises with a broom. He hadn't eaten that day, and there were still a few bruises that hadn't fully healed.

"You're really not in a position to refuse it, are you?" the shopkeeper asked, giving him a pointed look. Lloyd couldn't help but flinch at her analysis.

"I… guess not." He admitted, trying to look nonchalant.

"Would you rather I call the cops on you?"

Been there, done that.

"…. No…"

"You said your name was Lloyd Garmadon, right? I had no idea Lord Garmadon had a son." Continued the shopkeeper, thoughtfully. Uh oh. If she questioned things too deeply, she might start feeling sorry for him.

"I-I guess I'm his best kept secret?" Lloyd tried. She didn't look impressed.

"Where did you come from, Lloyd? How long have you been on your own?"

Crap. No one had asked him that before. People usually found a way to get rid of him before they noticed anything off about the situation. He backed away from the woman and quickly said, "Um… what makes you think I'm on my own? I'm not on my own."

She rolled her eyes.

"Oh, please. It's plain as day that something is very wrong, here. No responsible adult would allow a child your age to-"

"Look, lady," Lloyd cut in, trying to sound brave, "not all adults are responsible, and not all adults care about kids like me."

He'd learned that the hard way. The shopkeeper gave a harumph.

"Well, that's pretty stupid, if you ask me. You got anywhere to stay tonight?"

It was beginning to look like there was nothing he could do to keep this weird old lady from prying into his life. With few other choices, and no desire to sleep outside again, he relented and shook his head.

"You might as well begin making yourself useful, then." The shopkeeper declared, handing him a broom. Lloyd's brain short-circuited. What did she want from him?

"Oh, you didn't think I was going to let you stay for free, did you?" she explained, seeing his look of confusion.

"Oh."

He set about sweeping the shop, surprised, but grateful. Not long after he started, a small girl burst into the shop.

"Miss Mystake, are you alright?" she demanded, "Mamma said she heard a commotion…"

The shopkeeper patted the girl's head.

"All is well, Harumi. I was just… interviewing my new assistant." She told her, winking at Lloyd. Somehow, he didn't think he had any choice but to accept his newfound employment. It felt nice to be wanted.