Yes, I've taken all the brief, non-special Calvin at Camp's and put them into one big story. Like I've said countless times before, I don't own Calvin and Hobbes, Mario, Ed, Edd 'n Eddy, Foxtrot, or Peanuts. Here's the episode that started it all!
Also, some notes on the camp. It's not in the woods or anything. It's actually a daycamp located on a university campus.
It was early morning. Calvin's mom was driving him and his tiger friend Hobbes to a day camp. Calvin was complaining, as usual. "But I don't wanna go to camp!"
"Susie's mom says that camp is a good idea!" Calvin's mom told him.
"What does she know?" Calvin whispered to himself. Soon he and Hobbes were walking around the camp building. There was nothing really wrong, but Calvin certainly didn't want to be there, so he acted as stubborn as possible.
A loudmouthed kid other than Calvin stood on a table. His name was Eddy. "Step right up! Come and see Eddy's Ed-a-phone!"
Calvin got in line with some other kids to a curtained-off area of the room. "What's this?" he asked a boy named Jimmy.
"Ed, Edd, and Eddy are three con artists who are always trying to rip us off of our money, using scams," he explained. "This is one of them!"
"So fork over your quarters and come on over!" continued Eddy.
"This sounds interesting," said Hobbes. Calvin and Hobbes paid and sat down. The three Eds stood in front of the kids.
"Ladies and gentlemen," announced Eddy, "I will now play 'Lady of Spain' with my amazing Ed-a-phone!"
"If you can't remember the tune of 'It's a Small World,' what makes you think you know 'Lady of Spain?'" asked Edd. "And what, pray tell, is an Ed-a-phone?"
Eddy held up a large mallet. "This!"
"Me first, Eddy!" called Ed. Eddy hit Ed and Edd in various parts of their body causing them to sing out "OW!" to the tune of "Lady of Spain." Reaching of the climax of the song, Eddy rose the Ed-a-phone very high. ("Oh my"---Edd) Hebrought it down hard on the Eds' feet. They sang out "AAAHHH!" for a finale.
"That was IT! I want my money back!" said Calvin. Eddy jumped off the stage and ran away with his jar of quarters he'd collected. "Hey, life is full of disappointments, kid! I can't wait to count this!"
"My apologies!" called Edd.
"I hate this place," Calvin sighed. He saw Charlie Brown. "I wonder who that blockhead is."
"That's Charlie Brown," said a boy standing next to him. "Of all the Charlie Browns, he's the Charlie Brown-iest." A dog danced by. "That's his dog. He's kind of crazy. I'm Linus."
"You seem like the only sane person we've met."
"I see. That's a nice tiger. I always carry around this blanket. You'd probably like Jason and Marcus. They're around here, somewhere..."
Linus left. Calvin walked away, only to bump into Moe. "I'm here, too, Twinkie." Moe punched Calvin. What a wonderful camp...he painfully got up and noticed Susie.
"There's the reason why we're here! Susie!"
"Let me guess," said Hobbes. "You want revenge."
"Good idea," said Calvin. "We'll get revenge!"
Jason immediately raced over. "Did someone say 'revenge?'"
"I did."
"I'm Jason. Nice tiger."
"Call me Hobbes."
"Linus told me about you two," said Calvin, noticing Jason's friend. "I take it that you're Marcus."
"Sure am."
"Linus is a good kid, though a bit on the wimpy side," said Jason.
"You should talk..." Calvin said under his breath.
Marcus popped in. "If you want revenge, we'll give you revenge, with a little weapon that we like to call...'Quincy.'"
Calvin stared at the little lizard that was being held up. "A chameleon?"
"He's an iguana!" snapped Jason, yanking Quincy away. "Learn some more about lizards, kid!"
"We'll see..." said Hobbes, unsure whether to trust these guys or not.
Jason calmly walked away. "Call me if you change your mind..." he said with a large grin.
Calvin turned back to Hobbes. "How else can we get revenge on Susie?"
"I've got it!" Hobbes whispered something to Calvin. "I like it! Let's go..."
Calvin spied Susie sitting across the room. He dashed over and grabbed Susie's stuffed rabbit, Mr. Bun. "HEY! Give Mr. Bun back!"
"No way!" Calvin ran to Jason and handed him Mr. Bun. "Can you cement this thing in less than an hour?"
"I don't do Mafia. I will, however play keep-away!"
"Then, do that!" ordered Calvin. "Don't let Susie get it!" The minute Jason left, Susie ran over. "Gimme back Mr. Bun! NOW!"
Calvin calmly leaned against the wall. "If you play your cards right, you'll get Mr. Bun. Now, stay here! Hobbes and I have to plan."
Calvin walked into the nearby supply closet with Hobbes. He saw Kevin, who was looking at the balls stored inside. "Soccer balls...check. Kickballs...check. Eddy...WHAT!"Kevin pulled Eddy out of the ball pile."What are YOU doing in here?"
Edd peeked out. "Hiding from the Kanker sisters, naturally."
"They're always trying to get us," said Eddy.
"If I was a log, I'd be the happiest log EVER!" This, of course, was Ed.
"Does one of the sisters have orange curly hair?" asked Calvin.
"Yes..." Edd said nervously, thinking about Lee Kanker.
"And does one have blue hair?" asked Calvin.
"Yeah..." said Eddy, thinking about Marie Kanker.
"And does one have huge buck teeth?"
"Log, log, log," said Ed.
"I think I just saw them in that corner," said Calvin, pointing a few feet over. But the corner was empty. "That's weird...where'd they go?"
Suddenly, the Kankers popped up with the Eds. The Eds screamed and ran away. The Kankers chased them. "KANKERS!"
"Who are you?" Kevin asked Calvin.
"I'm Calvin," Calvin said, holding up his stuffed tiger. "This is Hobbes. I assume that you're friends with those three."
"No way! I don't hang out with DORKS!"
"Well, I'm not friends with those nuts either," Calvin said stubbornly.
"I'm assistant counselor. Any enemy of dork, dork, and dorky is a friend of mine."
Kevin walked out, as Susie came in. "Calvin?"
"Oh! Susie! We've made our plans."
"We have?" whispered Hobbes.
"YES! WE HAVE, FLEABRAIN!" Calvin yelled at Hobbes. To Susie, he was just yelling at a toy.
"Stop yelling at your stuffed tiger, and tell me! I want Mr. Bun!"
"You'll get him!" growled Calvin. He turned around and said in a dramatic voice, "In time!"
"Well, what do I do, 'in time?'"
"Hold on a sec..." Calvin put on an army hat, boots, and sunglasses. He put the same stuff on Hobbes, who looked very cute in them. "Meet Generals Calvin and Hobbes! Now, let's get down to business! Jog around this building for me."
"Okay, I ran around the whole building," said Susie, a few minutes later.
Calvin calmly reclined on a bench. "I never told you to jog only one lap. Do a few more for me."
"How many is 'a few?'"
Calvin smiled evilly. "As many as I want."
It started to rain. "Oh, COME ON!" complained Susie
"Keep going."
Susie ran a few laps. The Eds followed her, running from the Kankers.
Calvin's next form of torture was a game inside. "Now, we'll play Don't Catch."
"How do I do that?" asked a wet Susie.
"I throw the ball at you and you don't catch it."
A little later, Susie stumbled into the main room. It wasn't fair. Calvin was being such a jerk, and there was nothing she could do about it! Thunder crashed outside. "I hate this! No matter how many things I do, Calvin won't give me Mr. Bun!"
Susie looked up to see Jason, Quincy and Marcus (dressed as pirates) propping Plank up, so he is over the trash can. On the end of Plank, tied up, sat Mr. Bun.
"Alright, rabbit..." said the pirate Marcus.
"...we're gonna make you walk the Plank!" finished the pirate Jason.
"Stop!" cried Susie. She made a dramatic jump, grabbing Mr. Bun right before he hit the trashcan's dirty contents. After smacking Jason and Marcus a few times, she angrily stomped away. At least Mr. Bun was okay.
"Darn," said Jason. "The life of a pirate is full of disappointments."
Johnny ran over and grabbed Plank. "There you are, Plank!"
"Uh...Johnny?" Jason said awkwardly. Johnny was happily rubbing Plank against his face. "What?"
"You shouldn't rub him against your face," advised Marcus. "You'll get splinters that way."
"Oh, that's Planks's way of telling me he loves me."
Susie was sitting with Mr. Bun when she realized something. "Hey! Since I have Mr. Bun back, Calvin can't boss me around anymore!"
Calvin and Hobbes were walking down the hall. They saw Kevin and Rolf. "Hey, Calvin! Check this out!"
The Eds were sitting tied up and the Kankers were getting ready to kiss them.
"What's going on?" asked Calvin.
"This happens every other day!" explained Kevin. "The girl dorks catch the boy dorks and make out with them! And we get to watch!"
"In Rolf's village, this was know as the mating of the village idiots," said the foreign boy in an odd accent.
"The Eds don't look like they're having a lot of fun," observed Calvin.
"They're not! That's why it's fun for us!"
Calvin looked a little sad. "So no one helps them?" He could remember lots of times where no one would help him escape from Moe.
"We're not going up against the Kankers!" said Kevin. "Besides, no one likes the Eds, so it doesn't matter."
Calvin turned to Hobbes. "I never thought that I'd feel bad for the Eds..."
"If you feel bad for someone, you should help them," said Hobbes.
"You mean I should help THEM!"
"Yep."
"Oh boy..."
Calvin threw on his costume and dashed over to the Kankers in the form of General Calvin. "LADIES! HALT!"
"Who's that guy?" asked May.
"I don't know, but he's got a uniform," said Lee.
"Drop and give me twenty!" ordered Calvin.
"Twenty what?" asked Marie.
There was a long pause. "Uh...RUN!"Calvin grabbed the Eds and ran away with them and Hobbes.
"Did the spiky-haired one just save the Ed Boys?" stared Rolf.
"What a dork," said Kevin.
Calvin and the Eds had made it outside, where the rain had stopped.
"You're saving us?" cried Eddy, unable to believe it. "Thanks!"
Calvin started to untie the Eds. "Hey, I've had to deal with bullies before."
"There's just one problem with that," Edd said, scanning the area for the evil sisters. "The Kankers aren't bullies. They're much more complex than that."
"How so?" asked Hobbes.
"Well, they don't give up easily, I'll leave it at that." Just as Edd finished this sentence, the Kankers roared down the road in a red convertible.
"They stole a CAR!" yelled Hobbes.
"Can they drive me to the desert of the salamander people?" smiled Ed.
"What do we do now?" freaked out Calvin.
"KEEP RUNNING!" screamed Hobbes. They dove into a bush. The Kankers passed them.
Edd peeked out. "That bought us some time, but not much."
"This calls for an emergency meeting of GROSS," announced Calvin, putting on his newspaper hat.
"Like my basement?" asked Ed.
"No," corrected Hobbes. "Get Rid Of Slimy girlS."
"First we must sing our meeting song," said Calvin.
Attention! all rise! This meeting of GROSS
Is now called to order by the great grandiose
Dictator for life, the ruler supreme
The fearless the brave, the held-high-in-esteem...
"How much longer is this song?" interrupted Hobbes.
"Hey, we haven't even gotten to my verse yet!" said Hobbes. "Don't rush these things!"
The Kankers drove over and pulled the Eds out from the bushes."Need a lift, boys?"
"HOBBES!" yelled Calvin. "Emergency water balloons! NOW!" Calvin grabbed two water balloons and threw them at the Kankers, missing them entirely.
Edd stared. "Was that supposed to have a purpose?"
"Not really. KEEP RUNNING!"
They ran away AGAIN. Jason and Marcus, meanwhile, were setting up a rocket launch. "It's a wonderful day for a rocket launch:
"I'll scope out the area," said Marcus, looking around. "Bad news. The Kankers are in the way of where the rocket's gonna land."
"So?"
"They're chasing Calvin, Hobbes, Ed, Edd, and Eddy."
Jason put on his own army helmet. "I believe that this has just turned into a rescue mission. Get the explosives."
"There's no time! We need to call in a professional!"
Snoopy roared across the sky on his doghouse. "Here's the WWI Flying Ace out to save some soldiers on the front! They won't die on my watch! Release the bombs!"
The Kankers were chasing down the kids, as bombs dropped and exploded all around them. "This doesn't make any sense!" cried Edd.
"So?" yelled Calvin. "Keep running!"
The Kankers were hit by a bomb and fell. "YES!" cheered Eddy. "He hit the Kankers!"
"Oh dear..." moaned Edd, "they won't be down for long! Keep running!" The Eds ran off, leaving Calvin. "Wow," he said. "I thought the Eds were freaks, but they're not so bad."
"Poor guys," remarked Hobbes. "In constant fear of the Kankers!"
Calvin jumped up. "Let's do something about it! No! Even better!"
"What?"
"Susie will do something about it!"
Susie was playing with Mr. Bun when Generals Calvin and Hobbes approached. She quickly hid her toy.
"SUSIE!" barked Calvin.
"What?"
"It is our orders that you dispose of the Kanker sisters!"
There was a pause. "Why?"
Calvin held up a crude drawing of a rabbit. "Because Mr. Bun's life depends on it! Don't forget that I still have him!"
Susie smiled, knowing he hadn't figured out that she had gotten her toy back. "Okay, 'General' Calvin, I'll do it! You just rest here..." She quickly left and returned a few seconds later. "Done!"
Calvin glared at her suspiciously. "That was fast. I want to see the bodies."
"Follow me." They walked into a closet where the Kankers were waiting. "Girls!" called Susie. "Here's the kid who helped the Eds get away!"
"What do you think we should do them, girls?" smiled Lee.
"Let's go wild!" cried Marie.
Calvin backed away. "Wha---! Susie, you're rabbit is gonna die!" Susie calmly held up Mr. Bun."Huh?" gasped Calvin. "How did you---you can't..." Susie shut the door and strolled away.
"I guess I deserve this...I think," said Calvin in the darkness.
"Cheer up!" smiled Hobbes. "At least we'll never be bored!"
Screams were heard as the Kankers attacked.
Uh...as far as first episodes can go, this one wasn't the best. However, it managed to capture the spirits of Foxtrot, the Eds, and of course, Calvin and Hobbes, so it's fine. However, this is a good time to introduce...
THE ORIGIN OF CALVIN AT CAMP!
I'd say I first came up with the series in 2002. I was about 12-13 then, and I just made a list of about fifteen episodes. Each one had a brief description. I figured I could go back and write them later. However, the fifteen episodes were all I could think of. Youknow why? They only had Calvin and Hobbes, no extra characters. Naturally, I was too uncreative to rely on a series supported by Calvin, Hobbes, Susie, Moe, random kids, and a few counselors. That's why everyone else was thrown in. More behind the scenes bits will follow in more chapters.
