Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by J.K. Rowling.

Just a Little Toast

By:

Embrathiel

Once again Harry Potter was both a hero to those he really couldn't give a care for, and a villain to those he did. Though it had really only been about twelve hours or so, Harry felt as if it had been days since Ron's disgust was hurled at him in their dormitory. Why was it that the people who were supposed to know him the best thought the worst of him? Did that mean that he was really a terrible person and he just hadn't realized it yet?

Well yeah that was entirely possible, but some part of Harry told him that down that line of thinking were a lot more concerning questions that would lead to more in-depth viewing into his psyche.

He reached out and pushed open the Portrait, leaving behind one mess for what he was sure was going to be an even bigger one.

Hermione was there. Instead of finding misery he stepped from the common room into the hall to see one of his best friends standing there with a smile and a teetering tower of toast on a napkin. One of, well, if Ron kept acting the way he was, it wasn't likely that she would be the third friend, she'd probably be his only friend.

"Hi Harry, fancy a walk?" she asked without preempt.

He beamed at her.

Falling in beside her, Harry was content at first to nibble on the piece of buttery bread she handed him in silence. That was at least until he got it through his thick skull that while yes, they could walk in companionable silence, they could also talk like normal human beings. He didn't always have to keep his mouth shut.

Eying the morsel in his hand, he asked quietly, "How did you know?"

Hermione huffed out a breath through her nose. "Harry, anyone who knows you would have recognized how upset you were last night. I didn't think you'd want to eat breakfast in the Great Hall."

"Yeah, but how did you know it'd just be me?"

Her answer was a few moments in coming but Harry waited patiently, watching her facial expressions out of the corner of his eye. The poor thing was struggling with her answer quite clearly. Rather than let her suffer, Harry touched her arm and stopped, turning to face her in the hall.

"Look, there's a reason you're here and there's a reason I'm here. Let's just admit that so no one has to feel bad about it okay? I appreciate you being here at all, so I'd rather take it for what it is and let us have this conversation. I'd rather know what you're thinking than see you stress yourself out about it."

Hermione blinked and fixed him with a curious look, her head tilting slightly to the side.

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just that you're not normally one to want to talk about these things. Usually you just need to let it out and you're good."

He smiled grimly. "Yeah well, normally it's not extremely clear that one of my best friends may not even be that. You clearly are, so maybe I need to start addressing things differently from now on."

She blinked again and one of her hands reached up and delicately brushed aside the fringe of hair that was currently hiding his scar. Hermione tapped his scar and said, "Wow it seems so real."

"What are you on about?"

"Oh, nothing, it's just amazing how well you pulled off looking like Harry. I mean, thinking differently? I don't think I've ever heard him put those words together."

This time his smile was more sincere. Even when picking on him, she made him feel better about himself. Taking her arm in his, this time, Harry got them moving again.

"Oh come off it, we all know I'm a secret genius."

She snorted before squeezing his arm gently and sighing. "Well to be honest? Ron has always been a bit jealous of you, even when he wasn't showing it very much. I don't want to speak poorly of him, but if I'm being truthful, he's jealous of you and mean to me. Last night he said he felt you'd gotten in because of how famous you are and that it was my fault for helping you do whatever he thought it was you did. That's all I'm going to say about that, but basically I didn't think talking to him was going to help any, so, here you are. And besides, you wouldn't want to tolerate being treated like that anyway."

She was right, on many accounts, Harry realized as they made their way out of the castle and towards the lake. When he did think about it, Ron really was hardly ever kind to Hermione for an extended period, and she certainly didn't deserve that. Not to mention Ron's difficulties with Harry's wealth and fame, both of which Harry didn't want either. He also knew though that it had been hard for her to say those things, so he returned her gesture by tucking her arm closer to his side.

"Thank you for telling me Hermione. Kind of like what Dumbledore said about Neville at the end of first year. It is one thing to tell your enemies how you feel about them, but it's even harder to share difficult things with your friends. I know you're not trying to turn me against him or anything, so don't worry about that. But I'm not going to keep forgiving him for how he's been treating both of us. You're right and you don't deserve that."

Her voice sounded relieved. "Thank you Harry."

"No. Thank you Hermione, this means loads. I was trying to prepare myself for the whole school hating me. At least you don't."

She turned her head towards him as they continued walking down the sloping lawns. "How bad was it?"

He sighed. "Well it didn't help that I still hadn't gotten the Gryffindor banner off me when I entered the dorm. Ron was…" This was harder for him to put into words than he would have thought; emotions really weren't his thing.

"He was my first friend."

She halted their progress and took her arm from his to draw her wand. With a quick spell she enlarged the napkin so the toast could sit safely on the ground and turned, wrapping her arms around him. This time she didn't crush his ribs, she held him and her cheek pressed against his own.

"He was your first friend, and when it came time for it to matter…"

"Yeah."

This hug was different, and Harry wasn't about to complain. Hermione was growing into a young woman, and aside from the body parts he was starting to pay actual attention to for the first time, she was holding him differently. Not like a friend he wouldn't see in a while, or like someone who had just done something stupid, risking his life. She was embracing him, bringing them closer in a way that made his heart respond. This… This was friendship. This was what friendship should be like. Support.

That realization was almost too much to handle for him. He who had never been allowed to feel comfort from those who raised him. He who had never really understood what it was supposed to be like when people communicated properly with one another.

She pulled back but he held her at arm's length, not entirely sure he wanted to let her go yet. Her quizzical look was almost enough to make him smile. If there was anything that made Hermione look cute, it was when she couldn't solve a problem right away.

"I'm sorry. I should have realized how amazing you are sooner. I mean, I knew you were great, but I don't think I had anything to compare it to really."

She ducked her head a little, a bashful smile twisting her lips. "Oh, thanks, but uh, I'm not all that great."

"Really? So you're not the friend who risked making me mad at her just to try and protect me from a broom? Sorry about that by the way, I was being stupid. And you're not the friend who tolerates me being thick and not really trying all that hard with school. And you're not the friend that somehow always gets me even when I don't?"

Her eyes rose to meet his, and Harry saw tears forming. "Alright, but that doesn't make me great or anything."

"I think it does. I think Hermione, that out of all the people I know, you are the only one I can really truly count on. I grew up with the Dursleys so that may not mean all that much to you, but believe me, I couldn't ask for a better friend. How are you not a Hufflepuff?"

A small laugh broke through the tears that were coming harder now. "Because I'm thick enough to chase after you when you go off, nearly getting yourself killed."

"Well, you know what it all means to me?"

"What?"

"Love. I know you can love family and friends and the person you marry, so I know anyone can feel it for different people, but I don't think I've ever felt it before Hermione. I'll be honest that I don't know where to place you in that since it's kind of new to me, but I think that's what this is. I looked in the mirror of Erised in first year and this is how I felt when I saw my family for the first time. I didn't want to stop looking at it. Well, I don't want to stop being around you. I'm not going to do anything more stupid to lose you as a friend Hermione. And if I do, tell me so I can fix it alright?"

He supposed that the blubbering and weepy mess of a girl that flung herself into his arms for that was probably the positive version of a girl crying; so he added it to his mental list of things he was learning today and just held her. He was so confused, but he felt like he was flying, so that was alright.

She was rather incoherent at the moment so Harry gently guided them down to sit on the grass where they were.

"Can I tell you something and not have you hate me for it?" Though her face was buried in his shoulder he was able to make out her words well enough.

"Hate you? Bloody hell Hermione, I couldn't hate you. That would be like you swearing off reading for the next week or so."

Her head popped up, eyes meeting his. How had he not realized how pretty she was before. "That's a strange comparison. Why a week?"

"I don't think I could hate you for much longer than that. I'd figure out I was being a berk by then."

"You and I need to talk more when Ronald isn't around." She covered her mouth with a hand. "Oh I didn't mean it like that."

"That's alright, it is true though isn't it. But forget him for now. What did you want to tell me?"

Her hand fell away and Hermione was looking anywhere but him.

Then the words came out in an avalanche.

"Well I've… I've had feelings for you since first year and I don't want you to think I've been acting like I have just because of that because I haven't. And I really love having you as a friend but I kind of like you and it just never comes up right and I don't think you feel that way. I wouldn't want to lose you as a friend and I can't help it so I kind of pretend it's not there and just keep my mouth shut but I don't want to hide that from you, I mean that's what friends do right? They share these things?"

She still wasn't looking at him and wow that was a lot. He had to admit to himself that he wasn't sure how he felt about Hermione. But no, he didn't want to lose her as a friend either. But wouldn't a best friend be the kind of person you really liked anyway? And then the words came to him from a distant memory and he let himself smile as he said them back to her.

"Friendship and bravery, and love. That was what you were going to say wasn't it?"

Those eyes returned to his and Hermione gave a quick nod.

"Okay, I'll tell you what. I'm not good at these things, and I'm a stupid fourteen-year-old boy. But you told me after to "just be careful". You meant against Snape at the time, but I'll try to be careful with you too. I don't want to lose you either, but I think you're right, and yeah there's a tournament looming over my head, but this might be a bit more scary than that. I'm up for giving it a try if you are. I refuse to ignore your feelings Hermione, so let's at least try and see if it would work before we decide what to do about it okay?"

Her lips parted in a silent "oh" and she seemed stunned. Nope, he had no clue what this would be like, but Gryffindors charge ahead, right? If he was going to make an ass of himself, he might as well do it properly.

Before he could change his mind, Harry leaned forward and kissed her. Yeah it was more of him trying to figure out how your lips were supposed to go, and Hermione seemed to have the same problem after realizing what was happening. It wasn't amazing or anything, but he didn't feel embarrassed, he felt comfortable and like he was shooting upwards on his broom to catch the snitch.

He grinned sheepishly and pulled back. Hermione's cheeks were flushed but she made words come out either way.

"So you liked the gift of toast then?"

Harry laughed, he couldn't help it. He felt amazing and confused and totally terrified about all the stuff happening to him; but he had Hermione with him now, and it didn't seem like she would be going away any time soon.

"Yeah, I liked the toast. Just a little."

The End

*Updated 30th December, 2020