Disclaimer: I do not own High School DxD, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Harry Potter, Naruto, Thundercats, He-Man and Rifts
Major AU: Do not expect this story to strictly follow canon for High School DxD.
Key: "Talking" 'Thought' [Sacred Gear] (Pailamancy or Telepathy) ~Communicator~ *Technique* {Magical Item}
Author Note: Sorry this took so long. It's a Slice of Life chapter before I start the next arc.
Interlude
As the spectral image of Grayfia Lucifuge fades from view, the ORC Clubroom visibly dims. There are only two people present. A tall dark haired American male who was the official Dark Prince of Kuoh Academy and the statuesque redhead woman who was one of the Great Onee-samas of the same school. Both of them looked absolutely shocked by what they heard.
"Fuck." Xander Hyoudou muttered in a monotone, but there was still an enormous amount of feeling behind that word. "Fucking fuckity fuck."
"How eloquent." Rias Gremory responded with only a touch of humor in her voice. "We can't tell the others this. It won't affect Akeno-chan or Koneko-chan much. Kiba-kun might be a little shocked, but it would destroy Asia-chan and Raynare-san I am sure."
"Not to mention Irina-chan and Xenovia-san." Xander shook his head ruefully before rubbing his face with both hands. "Before we spoke to Grayfia-san I had hoped he was wrong. I mean yeah he was a genius and the pieces all fit, but he could have been wrong."
"I still want to believe he was wrong, Xander-koi." Rias shook her head. The mental link she had with her fiancé made it easy to dissect the level of grief he was in. She was literally in the same place despite not being a follower in the slightest. Xander was not directly a follower, but he availed himself of the protections and blessings so much that he might as well have been. "It explains why the Angels never went back on the offensive. God was the driving force behind Heaven's war on Devils and Fallen Angels."
"So we don't tell the others that I used a touch of necromancy to interrogate Valper?" Xander posed the question and when Rias nodded he let out a long sigh. "Well… good. Though we should probably warn someone that the spell in Hellboy actually works."
"You got that spell out of a movie?" Rias was astounded and had trouble concealing that fact. "I thought you were using something Willow-san created."
"Nope. I am not Wiccan so her magic spells would be useless to me." Xander shrugged. "Hell, so far most of my magic is from imitating stuff I see in movies or anime. The only original things I've done are Dress Break and Clothing Repair."
"Don't remind me of the Dress Break." Rias face-palmed over the insanity that was her fiancé's existence. "There is a petition going around the Underworld to have it banned from Rating Games."
"Do they have some sick desire to see me actually have to hurt girls?" Xander shook his head in exasperation. "Barring a few very dedicated women, forced nudity is a painless method of eliminating their ability to fight."
"Is that the reasoning you are going to use in defense of your growing perversion?"
"Yes." Xander nodded. "Seems better than telling them I now have triple my original libido thanks to merging my split personas. And thank you for understanding my wandering eye."
"If I couldn't feel just how head over heels in love with me you are, I would be much more jealous." Rias admitted as she leaned in and kissed his cheek. "And I will say this: you do have good taste when your eye wanders. And as long as other parts of you don't wander without telling me, we'll be fine."
Unknown to the two lovers they had an eavesdropper who at this point started sneaking away. Xenovia Quarta managed to keep herself in check until she found a bathroom. It was there that she allowed herself to collapse into the fetal position and weep.
"I am ready to learn, Xander-sensei" Saji Genshirou bowed deeply to Xander. The pair of them were standing on the thick mats in the athletic building. It was well after normal school hours, but between the Student Council and the ORC they had enough backing to be allowed use of the facilities. Saji for his part was dressed in a white karate gi. "I know some Karate and Judo, so what are you going to teach me?"
"Well, I'm going to teach you how to fight." Xander smirked. "There are two ways to learn. Normally, I'd let you pick which method you'd prefer. However, Sona-kaichou made it very clear that she wants you brought up to acceptable standards as quickly as possible." His smile grew wider as he looked into Saji's eye. "She also told me that you're not allowed to ring out. So, I hope you're prepared for a lot of pain."
"P-pain?" Saji swallowed nervously. "What kind of pain?"
"Oh, extreme muscle fatigue, bruising, contusions, abrasions, lacerations, concussions, sprains, bruised ribs, and broken bones." Xander's grin was absolutely feral at this point. "Don't worry, Asia-chan is on standby so you won't be suffering long."
"What? Why would I be suffering all that?" Saji started backpedalling away from Xander.
"Well, because I'm going to teach you how to fight the same way I learned at first…" Xander smirked as he cracked his knuckles. "Nothing teaches a person faster than getting beaten like a redheaded stepchild in the Malfoy family."
"Wait… what?"
"Oh, it feels good to have {Excalibur Mimic} back." Irina Shidou gushed as she caused the Holy Sword in her hands to morph into a variety of shapes, including a replica of the {Slayer Scythe} just for kicks. "I am surprised that it was so easily repaired. The alchemist who retrieved the core took like thirty minutes to restore it."
"Yes, that was quite impressive." Xenovia Quarta tried to sound suitably impressed, but it was simply beyond her. It had only been a day since she had learned the awful truth and she was still coming to grips with what it meant for her. "I don't see why we could not return to Europe with the cores."
"The Churches have decided that we need to keep an eye on the Gremory and Sitri Peerages." Irina explained. "They are concerned that Kokabiel still wants to kill them and start another war."
"They could send some Inquisitors instead of leaving us here." Xenovia sighed heavily. "We aren't trained for long term missions like the Inquisition is."
"I'll bet they think my prior relationship with Xander-dono will make our job easier." Irina shrugged. She agreed with Xenovia. Exorcists were trained in hunting and extermination, not investigation and surveillance. "Plus we already know the Gremory Peerage and get along pretty well with them."
"There is that." Xenovia nodded. "Now we only have to find an apartment and jobs."
"Oh, I already got us jobs." Irina smiled widely. "Chik-Fil-A opened a store here in Kuoh, can you believe it?"
"I want to thank you for allowing Xander-san to train Saji-kun." Sona Sitri let her normal stern exterior relax a little as she sat down in her private sauna. She had invited Rias and Akeno to join her and Tsubaki for a nice relaxing steam. "I have managed to raise his physical conditioning to an acceptable level and everyone has been training him in how to fight, but hearing how easily Xander-san took him down was alarming."
"I think you might be a little hard on Saji-san." Rias sighed as she relaxed. While she would prefer to be sharing the sauna with Xander, there was such a thing as too much closeness. "My fiancé only has nine years of combat experience on him and that is discounting what perks the Private Harris gives him in that regard. Even if he were strictly human, most newly reincarnated Devils would likely lose a fight with him."
"Ufufufu, it wouldn't be a fight for most" Akeno Himejima covered her mouth as she laughed. "It would be like a lamb to the slaughter."
"That is my observation as well." Tsubaki Shinra nodded in agreement with her fellow Queen. "He more than compensates for the eight Pawn pieces used in his reincarnation. Once you fill out your roster your peerage will be a force to be reckoned with in the Rating Games."
"That is true. The Underworld has been buzzing about how you crushed Riser Phenex." Sona added in as she adjusted her glasses. "The death of Rudolphus-san and Freed Sellzun at Xander-san's hands and now the defeat of Excalibur and forty {Clay Martyrs} is just adding to your legend, Rias."
"I know." Rias let out a long suffering sigh. "I wanted to make a name for myself, but it seems my peerage and especially Xander-koi is making it for me. On one hand it's something separate from being the Gremory Heiress, but it's not my deeds that are being lauded."
"That isn't quite true, Rias." Akeno shook her head. "Those who know of Xander=kun's origins are quite certain that he wouldn't remain a member of just any peerage. You inspired him to trust you very quickly and gained his loyalty. The number of Devils that could have done the same number in the single digits and one of them is a Maou."
"I doubt I could do so." Sona agreed with Akeno's assessment. "Xander-san is cordial with me because I am your friend and ally. He seems a little ill at ease around me."
"That's because you come off as super strict." Rias shrugged as she clarified Xander's slight discomfort around Sona. "He isn't sure how you'll react to his type of humor and doesn't want to ruin our relationship by offending you. Not to mention he sometimes has issues with authority."
"I see." Sona nodded. "Well, he wouldn't be the most eccentric person I deal with on a regular basis. Please inform him that I already know of his sense of humor and while it is not my cup of tea, so to speak, I am far from offended by it or him for that matter. I would also like to play chess against him some day."
"No you don't." Rias shook her head. "While you'll beat him, he makes one of the most frustrating opponents I have ever played. He doesn't fall for feints or traps. He breaks apart most long term strategies. You end up having to beat him through sheer force. I haven't had a game yet that didn't end with him reduced to one King and my side reduced to three pieces at best. Once I had to beat him with just a King and Queen, it took forever."
"How's my favorite platinum blonde?" Xander asked as took a seat next to Koneko in the bleachers.
Class J3A was having Physical Education and the Sensei had decided to have a game of American Football, complete with pads. Several of the smaller students were in the bleachers just watching, chief among them was the School Mascot.
"Bored." Koneko Tojou replied in her usual monotone. "Rather be working out than watch these losers."
"Let me guess, Sensei won't let you use the weight room without supervision." Xander shook his head ruefully. "Probably doesn't know you could lift the entire room if you wanted."
"She's a tool." Koneko grunted out. "Won't let us in the batting cages either. Told us to either watch or entertain ourselves here."
"And… none of the others know martial arts so you can't even spar." Xander sighed as he looked at the group and saw most of them were the nerds and geeks. Aside from Koneko he'd bet that PhyEd was the only exercise they got. "Tell you what, how about we put on a show for everyone. Light contact MMA spar and make it flashy."
"That would be super rad." Koneko let a ghost of a smile graced her lips as she stood up. "Going to change?"
Xander looked down and noticed he was in his class uniform while Koneko was in the athletic uniform. Doing some quick mental calculations he realized even a light contact spar would ruin his shirt at the very least. "Yeah, just give me a minute in the supply room."
"Finally figured out the clothing transformation spell?" Koneko smirked.
"No, it still fails spectacularly." Xander shuddered as he remembered his last attempt to use the same spell all the others could use to transform their clothes in combat. He still wasn't sure how he ended up in the stripper construction worker costume, but the girls of the ORC refused to let him live it down. "I modified *Dress Break* so it removes clothes and folds them neatly if the person isn't hostile."
"Tch, you are becoming a pervert, Senpai." Koneko shook her head in mild exasperation at Xander.
"Almost everyone is a pervert, Koneko-chan." Xander shrugged as he started towards the equipment shed. "It's just a matter of what degree and how open they are about it."
"You're pretty close with Xander-kun, aren't you?" Kiba Yuuto was seated across from Raynare as the pair of them were attempting to understand their geometry homework. The pair of them knew they could go to Xander for help, but they really wanted to put in the effort before they resorted to that. "You two talk almost as much as he does with Buchou."
"Yeah. I joked about being his Nee-san, but it's become a reality." Raynare Hyoudou smirked. She was still getting used to her new last name after Goro and Miki insisted on adopting her, but she wouldn't change that or how close she was with either them or Xander she had become. 'Now if only my boyfriend could join us.' "What do you want to know?"
"Well, why isn't Xander attempting to go home? I mean I've been watching the show some more and it just seems odd that he isn't trying to return to his world." Kiba voiced his confusion. He didn't want to confront Xander with it as then it would sound hostile. "At the very least he should be trying to become human again if I understand his personality correctly."
"Well, to the second question, you don't. Xander doesn't have anything against not being human. He just doesn't want to be a monster that preys on others. Even the fish-man thing was more about the fact he thought they ate people." Raynare explained. "Being a Devil in the service of Gremory is not even a blip on his radar for that. You might be sinners, but you aren't evil by any means. Hell, in Buffyverse you guys would be better than most of the White Hats they have there."
"Alright, I can see that." Kiba allowed as he thought of things. What he'd seen in the show confirmed that the forces of good in the Buffyverse were not so benevolent. "And him not trying to return home?"
"Oh that's a combination of the fact that he knows he's a carbon copy of Xander in the Buffyverse, the Many Worlds hypothesis, the Seer-Author hypothesis, and the fact that his Girls and Brother are here." Raynare ticked off a finger for each reason. "The *Night of Masks* creates a copy of a person, it doesn't transport the original. So, basically the original Xander is still in his home dimension. He might have a few dreams where he sees stuff that is happening here, but otherwise he's just taking care of business back in the Buffyverse."
"Alright, I think I understand that. Xander doesn't feel pressure to return to his home because one is already there taking care of everything." Kiba nodded in understanding. "And I understand the Xander's Girls and Brother thing. That's pretty obvious, but the other two…"
"In some interpretations of String Theory, there are an infinite number of worlds out there created by nearly every random happenstance. If the worlds are very, very closely related they merge. Like if in this world you had ramen for lunch and in the next one over you had yakisoba, more than likely the two worlds would merge. Now, in this the more closely related two realities are, the easier it would be to move between them. The inverse is just as true."
"Wait… how does that relate to the Underworld and Heaven? Aren't those different worlds?" Kiba's brow furrowed as he considered the fact he had travelled between worlds pretty often. "We go to the Underworld almost yearly. I mean we skipped this year because of everything, but normally we spend Summer break at the Gremory Palace."
"The Underworld, Tartarus, Heaven, Asgard, Olympus and all of those realms are intrinsically linked with Earth." Raynare explained. "All together they make this World, so to speak. So travel between them is relatively easy compared to moving to other Worlds."
"This is beginning to give me a headache." Kiba chuckled as he rubbed his temples. "And what's with the Seer Author hypothesis?"
"Well, that has to do with the idea that some Seers can see the events that occur in extremely distant worlds. Most of them ignore it as odd flights of imagination, but some of them record what they see." Raynare shrugged. "Xander-kun is pretty sure the different Buffyverses are very far away and even then he'd have to locate the specific one which would be like finding a needle in a haystack the size of Jupiter. But really, those are all excuses."
"Excuses?"
"Yes, excuses." Raynare nodded her head. "My otouto is hopelessly in love with Rias-sama. He fell hard and fast. And she isn't the only one he's romantically interested in, he's just not aware of it. So even if he could go to the Buffyverse, he'd pass on it."
"I told you we'd get in trouble." Koneko groused as she took a seat outside the Student Council office. The petite girl was a little flushed and still slightly panting from her work out. "Xander-baka."
"I'm not the one who tossed someone through the bleachers, Koneko-chan." Xander rebutted as he picked a few splinters out of his hair. "You're a pretty sore loser."
"Nougies are against the rules in light contact." Koneko shot back in her usual monotone, but it was clear she was less than pleased. "So it's your fault."
"You never called no nougies." Xander shot back in all seriousness. "And I only did that after you supplexed me. How is that legal in light contact?"
"Hyoudou-san, why am I not surprised that you are here for destruction of property?" Sona Sitri sighed as pushed up her glasses. "You don't even have the excuse of catching a pervert this time. With your record this is a week's suspension at the very least and possibly expulsion given you were in a fight with an underclassman."
"Kaicho, Xander-kun is not at fault. He was sparring with me and I went overboard." Koneko spoke up before Xander could speak up in his defense.
"This is not your first offense either, Toujou-san you have a long record of destroying school property when you catch perverts." Sona replied evenly. "Unlike Xander-kun, this will not be the first time you'd be punished for it. It would be expulsion."
"I'm her senpai and the one that initiated the spar," Xander spoke up. "I then proceeded to rile her up beyond reason. So the fault is ultimately mine, not hers. I could have stopped her throw, but I let it succeed. So, if there is to be a punishment, it should be mine."
"I see… Well, instead of suspension or expulsion, you will be tasked with building a new set of bleachers. Toujou-san and others will be assigned as your assistants as punishment for their misdeeds." Sona said after a pause as she contemplated things. "I expect that you will inform the Student Council of any supplies that you need to complete your task."
"Question, what quality of materials and workmanship would you require?" Xander wasn't the least bit put out by the idea of a construction project. "The original bleachers were pretty shoddy if my body could wreck a small section."
"Tradition demands wooden bleachers and the school's reputation will rest on the appearance and durability, am I understood?" Sona replied evenly.
"Yeah, I got you Kaicho." Xander nodded. "Can I recruit volunteers that haven't gotten in trouble?"
"Yes, and Saji-kun will be amongst those volunteering." Sona replied with a slight smile coming to her lips. "He hasn't broken a school rule, but he's caused some issue on his last attempt at securing a contract and he needs to learn some humility."
"I heard you got into a little trouble today, Xander-koi." Rias Gremory's tone was teasing as she queried her fiancé as they bathed together. Even though she slept with Xander every night, she still reveled in their shared bathing. "Whatever did those poor bleachers do to you?"
"Other than being ugly and uncomfortable… nothing." Xander chuckled softly."Koneko-chan was bored during PhysEd, so I sparred with her. It got a little out of hand."
"And now it is cutting into our private time for the next few weeks." Rias tried to frown as she said that, but Xander was expertly massaging her back and it felt far too heavenly to express any anger properly. "How am I supposed to function without the proper amount of loving?"
"It won't take me that long, Rias-hime." Xander leaned in and kissed the side of her neck. "And it won't start for a few days as the School has to have it professionally demo'd before I can build the replacements. I already have Mil-tan and her crew coming to help with the heavy lifting. I was hoping you, Akeno, and Asia would agree to make refreshments. I can knock out the basic structure over a weekend then a few hours a day putting the finishing touches on them. Sensei already said any time I spend on it will count towards my Shop class."
"Well, I suppose if you take time off your contracts it won't cut too badly into our private time." Rias relented after a few moments of thought. "And speaking of private time, Asia-chan asked me for permission to go on a date with you. I agreed."
"Okay, you're not trying to get rid of me, I can tell that much." Xander's brow furrowed as he tried to puzzle out what Rias was doing. "Is this part of that polygamy thing?"
"In a way." Rias giggled as she could sense Xander's confusion. The Gremory heiress was aware that Xander was raised with the ideal of monogamy. She was also quite aware that something left behind from Issei was slowly influencing him away from that. Honestly she was quite happy with that as she had faith that Xander would become a High Class Devil within a decade if not sooner. There would be many women trying to insinuate themselves into his good graces as well as attempt to have his children. Rias knew she needed back-up to help protect Xander from the worst gold-diggers and seed snatchers. "Asia-chan is rather devoted to you, Xander-koi and it's not hard to understand why. She wants to see what a date with you would be like before she tries to throw her hat into the ring for being anything more than a close friend."
"Well, at least she's asking your permission, Akeno-chan keeps hinting that she wants to be the piece on the side." Xander rolled his eyes a little at some of the innuendo that had been tossed his way. It wasn't nearly as bad as Faith or Anya, but it was still pretty obvious even for him. "What's up with that?"
"Akeno-chan doesn't have much faith in the idea of getting a happily ever after." Rias sighed as she explained her best friend's actions without revealing too much. Kiba might have revealed his tragic past to Xander, but Akeno and Koneko didn't feel comfortable doing so yet. Their reasons were shockingly similar; they didn't want Xander hunting down their family. Rias was not going to be the one to break that trust. "She'll come around eventually, or she'll just be your faithful little mistress."
"You know most women would be discouraging their fiancé from dating or taking a mistress." Xander chuckled in clear amusement. "But not mine, she's actively encouraging it."
"Well, only with girls that I trust." Rias clarified the point. "You know there are countless men who would kill to be in your position."
"Oh, I am well aware." Xander nodded. "I get daily hate mail from about a third of the guys in Kuoh."
As Asia Argento walked along with Xander, she reflected on her day and had to admit she had the time of her life. Xander had asked her out on an actual date before she had gathered enough courage to ask him herself. They had gone shopping in the morning, both of them trying on a few outfits the other had chosen. Then there was lunch at Ichiran's where they spent time talking about his old friends. Xander had taken her to a matinee showing of Kingdom of Heaven, which they both enjoyed for different reasons. After that they'd gone to the Arcade where they played racing games and Dance Dance Revolution. Despite her somewhat clumsy nature most of the time, Asia was a savant at that game. Then they'd tried their hand at Guitar Hero where Xander showed impressive skill. Then came a lovely dinner in an Italian Restaurant where Asia would admit she matched Xander for how much she ate even before the Tiramisu they had for dessert. All day, the former nun felt like she was the center of Xander's world.
"Yen for your thoughts?" Xander spoke up as he noticed Asia get a slightly far off look in her eyes. While he wasn't as hyper-aware of Asia like he was Rias, Xander was far from oblivious. It helped that Asia was unbearably cute when she was having her wool-gathering moments.
"Oh, I was thinking how lucky I am to have you in my life, Xander-kun." Asia had taken a moment to shake herself out of the day dream. The petite blonde smiled at the much taller man. "I literally stumbled into you and everything started coming out better. I have friends, a family, and Xanrai. I get to go to school and I like what I do on my summonings. Everything is just wonderful and I feel blessed beyond measure. It's all thanks to you."
"Well, I'm only responsible for some of that." Xander blushed a bit at the praise. "You attracted all those friends yourself by being the sweet girl you are. You've become one the most popular girls in the school. And your clients love you. I have nothing to do with either one of those." Reaching to take her hand in his, Xander smiled as he continued on. "My parents love you almost as much as I do, so it's no brainer they'd treat you like family."
"You love me?" Asia nearly tripped over her own feet as she heard that. "Do you mean like a sister?"
"The only member of the ORC I see as a sister is Raynare-nee." Xander admitted with a slight shrug. "I'll admit I tried to put you in that zone, but it just didn't work that way. And no, you are not friend-zoned either." He paused for a moment as he once again wrestled with his upbringing clashing with his wants. "I'm beginning to see that I have been attracted to you romantically. It's been kinda hard on me as I was raised to be monogamous and I already paid the price for being young and stupid once. So, I have to work against a lot of ingrained behaviors to start dating you while I am with Rias-hime."
"Oh, I understand, Xander-kun." Asia nodded. "I was raised to think I would be celibate. Only recently have I even thought of having a husband at all. Though, I don't mind sharing with Rias-nee at all. In fact I think it would help me push past some of my inhibitions."
"Well, don't feel you have to do the things Rias-hime and I are doing just because you want to be with me." Xander spoke up. "You should be comfortable in our relationship. And honestly I love who you are, changing to be like Rias would be robbing both of us of something."
"So be myself? Oh, that's a relief." Asia let out a long sigh of relief. "I can do kissing, cuddling, and sleeping in the same bed, but I don't think I am ready for…" Even as she was about to say it, Asia blushed nearly scarlet and felt a little woozy. "…sex."
"Well, you might want to hold off on sleeping in the same bed until you can be naked in front of me." Xander chuckled. "Rias-hime has this bad habit of stripping my clothes off as we sleep. Akeno-chan has confirmed she does it to her, too."
"Oh my! Naked with you and Rias-nee?" Asia stopped in place as she imagined just that. Her blush was spreading from her cheeks to cover a good deal of her neck. "I…I can do it. I am not going to fall further behind."
"I hurt all over." Saji groaned after a failed attempt to lift himself off the mat that cushioned his fall. With one eye swelling shut and a fat lip his face was the least battered part of his body. His bruises had bruises and his left arm was a throbbing mass of pain. "I give up." A moment later the pain was fading as a green glow encompassed his body. Asia was busily using [Twilight Healing] to reverse the damage of the beating he'd received."Please tell me that was your full power. You know… without the Boosts."
"I would, but I don't want to lie to you, Saji-san." Xander shook his head as he grabbed a bottle of Gatorade and took a long swig. The larger man was lightly sweating from the fight, and a little mussed, but not nearly to the point Saji was. "I would say I was about equal to a young Master Vamp. That's roughly ten times human strength, speed and endurance. After I absorbed Primal and the {Evil Pieces} it's about half my normal full power before boosts. I've also been fighting fair instead of full out to win. I have to say I am impressed though. Two weeks and you're already better than most purely human fighters in your weight class. I think we finally found your base level to start from."
With that proclamation Saji began whimpering. For the last two weeks he'd been taking a severe beating over and over again for an hour every day. The longest he lasted before being pummeled into submission was five minutes. Usually it was just two minutes and then a few minutes of healing from Asia while Xander described what he did wrong and then Saji was set back to his feat for another beating. It wasn't as if he was letting his sensei beat him. No, Saji was fighting to kill or at least maim the man, but he'd never done more than dislocate Xander's shoulder. That hadn't granted him any great victory as the resulting beating left Saji unconscious for three hours.
"You mean you've been toying with me this whole time?" Saji was angry enough that it slipped past his normal deferential manner. "Why are you training me if you aren't going to take it seriously?"
"I am taking it seriously. Of course I am toying with you. That's how I learned at first. I survived most of those vamps because they were toying with me." Xander replied with more than a bit of edge to his voice. He looked to Asia for a moment and saw she had her headphones on and the music blasting so she could ignore the taunts Xander used as part of training. She was just too sensitive for the mental conditioning Xander was trying to instill in Saji. "Now that I have you to the point where you'd survive me getting a little serious, that's what I am going to do. I will be fighting at my current strength and skill for a while until you can beat me reliably. Then I will start using more tricks and different tactics to make it more like a true fight. By the time I'm done with you, they'll make Chuck Norris jokes about you."
"Chuck Norris jokes?" Saji was finally well enough to climb to his feet.
"American action movie star." Xander expounded. "The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain. Chuck Norris's computer does not have an ESC key. There is no escape from Chuck Norris. The Boogeyman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris. A King Cobra once bit Chuck Norris. After five agonizing days the snake died. Chuck Norris has a Grizzly Bear rug in his bedroom. It isn't dead, it's just afraid to move. You know, those jokes..."
"Ohhhhh… I thought those were Xander jokes." Saji scratched the back of his neck. Seeing Xander's puzzled expression he continued. "Yeah, I've heard all those jokes the last time I was in the Underworld." Saji shrugged. "The one that made Kaicho laugh was: Death once had a near Xander experience?"
"Great!" Xander mutter sarcastically. "Part of why I do so well is that people underestimate me. If the jokes continue people won't be doing that anymore."
Akeno Himejima was making her way to the stadium with a picnic basket. The sun had set an hour prior and now the area was lit with huge banks of lights. Looking around for her quarry she finally found Xander putting some finishing touches on the last of the seating. The resulting view made her pause a moment and blush. No matter how many times she saw shirtless Xander it always ignited a few fantasies.
"Ufufufufu, there you are Xander-kun! When you didn't return to the clubroom for dinner, I was worried that you were overworking yourself." Akeno called out as she approached her young man. "Never fear, I brought a picnic we can share. I even have a thermos of hot cocoa."
"Hey there Akeno-chan." Xander replied back as he finished the last touch of hand sanding the seat impressions in the Bolivian Cherry. His original plans had called for just Oak, but the Board had insisted on a much more exotic wood. Given the much harder wood, Xander had decided to add some basic comfort contours to the seats. With the last swipe of the sandpaper, Xander stood up and wiped the sweat from his brow. "You are a life-saver, I am starving and I could really use a cocoa."
"Ara ara, you look so very sweaty." Akeno purred out as her gaze raked along Xander's bare chest. She knew she wasn't the only girl in Kuoh who had been ogling Xander while he worked. To be fair Kiba, Saji, and even Matsuda had attracted admirers, just not as many. It was easily chalked up to the fact that Xander with a tool-belt was what his ex-girlfriend described as salty-goodness. Akeno definitely agreed with Cordelia Chase on that assessment. "I will have to bathe you after dinner."
"Yeah, well, manual labor will do that." Xander grinned. He didn't touch the bathing comment yet as he wasn't stupid enough to commit to a bath with any girl unless Rias allowed it. It wasn't that he was whipped, but it really was one the few things she seemed to show jealousy about. They had once gone to a public onsen and when one of the girls approached Xander after witnesses him wash his fiancé's hair, Rias had nearly killed the woman. "So what's for dinner?"
Akeno pouted just a bit when Xander did not rise to the bait, but the quickly set that aside. 'Ah well, the quickest way to a man's heart is always through his stomach. All I have to do is feed him well, and the rest will come along.' With her usual Nadeshiko Yamato façade, she produces the picnic basket. "Since I knew you'd be extra hungry there is Gyudon with salted egg, seared tuna steaks, asparagus, umeboshi onigiri and for dessert I made chocolate sponge cakes filled with coffee flavored buttercream."
"You realize with the way you cook, I will soon become a blimp." Xander chuckled as he led Akeno to a point on the bleachers that wasn't littered with saw dust. "Not that I am complaining at all."
"Ufufufu, I think I can help you burn off all the calories in various pleasurable ways." Akeno raised the bar on her flirtations by properly framing her breasts as she leaned towards Xander. "After all, I am more than a little jealous that Rias has experienced you and I have not."
Xander would have rolled his eyes at Akeno's overly flirtatious nature if he wasn't aware it was her way of masking her insecurities. He wasn't aware of what happened to her as a child, but he was quite aware that she was just as broken as Faith was. Instead of going the free-loving badass route the slayer had gone, Akeno chose to become the perfect Japanese beauty. "And I waited until I was engaged to Rias-hime before we consummated our love. You wouldn't happen to be proposing would you?"
"Don't you think it would be more exciting to have me as your mistress rather than another fiancé?" Even as she was speaking, Akeno was unpacking the dinner with grace and precision that was unnatural. "It would add just a hint of the forbidden to make everything more intense."
As Akeno was unpacking the food, Xander was plating up their dinners using the dishes Akeno had brought. Technically he should have let Akeno serve him, but Xander enjoyed bucking some traditions. Of course his mind was whirling a mile a second as he examined Akeno's words and actions. If he was right Akeno was actually afraid of commitment even as she craved it desperately. The desire to be a Mistress instead fulfilled her need to be connected, but at the same time gave her a bit of distance.
"It probably would, but I can't help but think you would make a great wife to someone deserving." Xander smiled as he saw Akeno's eyes widen as words sunk in enough for her to imagine it. From the blush on her cheeks Xander would say it had not been unpleasant. "And I would be a real heel if I allowed you to settle for anything less."
Akeno jerked back as if stung. Her eyes hardened and lips curled in anger for a moment as she took Xander's words as a rejection. Just as quickly as he anger had flared it cooled when the meaning of his words struck her like a hammer. Her gaze softened and a true smile bloomed. "Very well, Xander-kun. I hope you know what you are asking for."
"So do I, Akeno-chan. So do I."
