Okay, so, I still have the last chapters of Double Reflection that need editing and posting, but I fancied doing something a little different. This isn't going to have many chapters. I just wanted to get my creative juices flowing without worrying too much about plot or editing. In fact, I wasn't going to post this, but I thought maybe someone would enjoy it, so what the hell? I have a rough idea where it's going, but this is more to get me back into writing. So I don't pretend that it's going to be amazing, but it would be nice to know if at least one person enjoys it, I suppose, it would make it feel worthwhile.
I Don't Enjoy to Watch you Crumble
I brush my fingers against clammy skin on his arm, and breathe slowly to take in his scent. I want it etched into my nostrils. I don't want to forget this musty, sweet smell. He curls tightly into the purple silk blanket that surrounds us, and I move a stray blond lock that sticks to his cheek.
He really is beautiful. Mind, body and soul. I peer at him through the darkness, eyes adjusting enough to see his skin glow ever so slightly in the moonlight coming from the unclosed curtains.
My arm brings him closer to my chest as I pull our bodies together, and I dig my face into the crook of his neck. When my alarm rings, I pull back from his warmth. He stirs, eyes fluttering open, before blinking in consciousness. The tan in his skin doesn't exist within this light, the darkness does not permit it. The dips of his muscle are still there, and they flex as he stretches and rubs a hand over his face.
"Morning," I whisper, and he replies with an incoherent ramble under his breath. I hear my name, but nothing more. I kiss his ear, and an arm raises sluggishly to rub against my face.
"Morning," he eventually mumbles back.
I don't want to leave the comfort of our bed. I want to stay entwined against his body forever, but I slip out from the covers and busy myself with showering and changing for work. I change into my mission clothing, barely looking away from his form underneath the duvet. I want to remember everything. My bodyweight dips the mattress when I crawl onto the bed. "I'm leaving," I say into his ear.
"Hmm," he murmurs. "Stay safe."
I don't reply straight away. This is one mission I must take alone. There's a rat in the organisation, and for me to go covert undetected, I have to fake my death. It has to be believable, and so does Naruto's reaction.
He can't know the truth.
I'd dabbled with the idea of leaving a note, just so he would know I was safe, but there could be no slip ups. I had to be dead, to everyone apart for Kakashi.
"I love you," I whisper, but I don't think he hears me. His breaths already even out. I leave the apartment, closing the door, and my life with Naruto, behind me.
THREE YEARS EARLIER
I slammed the riffle against the metal table and pulled the blindfold from my face. Bright lights invaded my senses as the classroom came into focus, and I stood to signal the completion of my test. The clatter of metal hitting against metal floated around the room as other boys stand. I didn't move; I barely breathed as Mr. Kakashi inspected the weapons and ticked off names from a clipboard.
The silver haired man stopped in front of me to inspect the riffle. His one good eye examined the large gun. "Very good, Sasuke. A new record," he said, before turning to move on.
"Thank you, sir."
Konoha Corps. That's what they called us. A prestigious, undercover school for the new generation of agents. As first generation, we were the test subjects; the children of secret, offered up to train. Offered to the school so they could create a curriculum. Not many survived the harsh first year. They'd no idea how delicate a child's psyche could be. So many broke, ending up on the psych-ward, or worse, in a coffin. The training schedule eased by the second year, but it was too late, the damage had been done.
My father, head of the covert-mission department in Konoha corporation had enrolled me. My older brother had been the gem in his eyes, already entrusted missions from the age of thirteen. I supposed he'd wanted the same for me. And so this is where he'd dumped me, and this is where I'd grown up from the age of eleven. Day in, day out, we woke, trained and went to bed. That was our life, that's how we survived, and in five years nothing really happened to differ the situation.
I was first generation; the best student the school had. I was told I'd go places and that's what I believed. I had no reason to think otherwise, that was, until a new student appeared one day, throwing everything into the air.
I placed my shoulder bag into my locker, pulled out a couple books for Intel Extraction class and closed the cold, metal door. Gaara leaned against the lockers, books already clutched to his side. "Ready?" he asked. I nodded, and we made our way silently to last period. I supposed we were friends, he was the closest to one I had. "I've heard we have a new recruit." I doubted he'd heard that information. He spent most his free time undetected in Konoha corps' mainframe system. Never too great in combat, but was a hacking genius.
"A new recruit?" Odd, we'd had people leave the academy, but never enter, and so close to graduation.
"Hmm," he hummed, falling silent as we turned a corner and passed a group of younger generations laughing and joking. I wondered if they had any idea what the place had been like before their time. Now, the children were given respite. They were allowed to leave. They no longer undertook certain training until they'd been tested. The teachers were no longer allowed to torture a child under the age of sixteen. It had been written into the curriculum; it was now exclusively for graduation year students.
I watched two forth generation kids nudge each other before pointing at Gaara and myself. With so few of us left, it was abnormal to see a first generation recruit in the hallway, let alone two together. We were viewed as tough, cold. Stories and rumours floated around the academy. We'd been forced to kill one another, we had been genetically tested on, that's why we were so guarded, emotionless, or so they'd whisper.
"His father's an assassin, affiliated with the government, apparently."
"Apparently..." We walked momentarily in silence through the bright corridor. Metal covered the floors, the walls. They kept us contained. Gaara's grey uniform was ripped to his elbows, blood staining the frayed material. "Combat training not going so well?"
"That Kiba is an animal." He shrugged. "It's not like I'd be sent into the field, anyway."
"This recruit," I asked. "I'm assuming he has been trained if he's entering graduation year."
"I'd assume you assume correct. Perhaps we will find out." We entered the classroom, and Gaara's head nudge to the front row of desks. A blond tuft of hair poked out from the neck of a grey uniform. He sat still, facing the one-way glass mirror at the front of the room. Hands folded together, pen already clutched between his fingers. We placed ourselves at the back, and weren't the only ones watching the new boy. Every time a body entered, their pace slowed, eyes locking onto the blond. There was no noise, but the tension could be cut with a knife. I wondered if he sensed it - all the eyes piercing the back of his skull. If he did, he didn't let it show.
The lights dimmed when Mr. Baki entered, leaving tiny glows emanating from desk lamps perched at every table. The light reflected ever so slightly off the metal in the tables and walls. I flicked my book open, and waited for him to acknowledge the new member, but he didn't. Today was like every other day, we weren't going to get an introduction.
"Alright, boys. Please turn to page fifty-eight." His features held shadows in the classroom's dim light, but a halo-like glow appeared around him as he flicked a light-switch, illuminating the one-way glass. Gaara's pen creaked between his fingers. Backs straightened behind chairs. Kiba and Lee twitched, it was miniscule, but I noticed the tiny spasm. Baki always received this reaction when the one-way glass lit up to reveal a tiny, white room with two chairs and one wooden desk. His lips twisted into a tiny smirk, and I wondered if he found the response amusing. The only body that didn't flinch was that of the blond boy at the front. "We are going to conduct a practical exercise. We have spent this month learning how to remove yourself through meditation… and how to break someone's attempts to keep Intel contained."
He handed out sheets for note-taking. "Within the field, if you are captured, the enemy will not go easy because you are kids. They will want to know who you work for, and how much you know. And so, all you can hope for is rescue or an easy death." He moved back to the front of the classroom. "And trust me, if you reveal any Intel on this organisation, you'd wish you had chosen death. So we teach you how to keep your mouths shut until you are freed, or die. However, no one will get close to death today. We don't want any incidents like last time. This is a practical, not a test."
Incidents... I peeked sideways, noticing the already pale face beside me turn more translucent. Gaara had spent three weeks in the infirmary after the last 'incident'.
After my parents died, I had nothing but the academy. I couldn't let anything stop me passing that test. Gaara wouldn't be sent on field-missions, anyway, he wasn't built for it, and his smarts would've led him to an office job behind the scenes. So I figured he'd give the Intel easily. Thirty-six hours later, Baki called the test to an end. We both passed, but it took months for Gaara to come close to me again.
"You." Baki finally acknowledged the blond boy. "Have you learned any of this?"
"Probably not. I didn't learn from a curriculum. I've been shown the quickest ways to extract information, though." His voice was raspy, low. My ears prickled. It didn't hold the same lack-lustre tone the rest of ours' did, but still, it felt almost familiar.
Baki nodded. "Very well. Let's see what happens. Get up, you too Uchiha. I need to know what he can do, going against you should give me an indication of what I'm working with." He passed me an envelope and ushered us through a door that led to the small, white room.
His face held scars resembling whiskers, and his blond hair feathered his face ever so slightly. The speakers around the room crackled and Baki's voice filled my ears. We could no longer see the class, the mirror now only held our reflections, but they were there, watching our every move. "Sasuke, take a look inside the envelope. They are the words he is attempting to pull from you."
"I'm not quite sure what you want me to do?" The blond boy spoke again.
The speakers crackled. "You have free reign. You weren't here for training, so I just want to see your instincts."
I removed the card from the envelope and read the words, before screwing it up and throwing it over my shoulder. I took a seat at the desk and waited for the walls to open to reveal every tool this boy would want or need. Little shelves removed themselves, and I watched the boy walk over to examine the gifts he'd just been given.
"I'm Naruto, by the way," he said over his shoulder, and my eyes trailed over his body within the uniform. I wondered if it was tight, or if his muscles were just that big beneath the grey material. An assassins son? I wondered how efficiently he'd been trained. He turned, twisting a kunai between his fingers as a six barrelled revolver sat in his other hand. "And you must be Sasuke." He grinned at me then. The gesture held no malice. His cheeks tugged upward, and the blue in his eyes swam like an ocean on his face. "I hope we can be friends."
Friends? What an odd thing to say, especially at a moment like this.
"But that would depend," he continued. "On whether or not you're going to give me those words… because, I know Mr. Baki said there would be no deaths today, but he also said I have free reign, and so if you cooporate, there won't be any body bags needed."
I scoffed. I hadn't revealed Intel since first year. That practical had been to watch infiltration of the psyche. Baki lead the Intel extraction; at eleven, I'd had no hope.
"Oh, come on." His grin slipped into a small smile. "Don't be like that." The kunai swung around his finger by the loop on the end. "This place is pretty cool, you know. It sure beats following my dad around the world. I've been given a proper bed here." He let out a little laugh.
What an idiot. He walked behind me, and I watched his reflection in the one-way mirror. Breath ghosted over my neck when he spoke, sending pin pricks across my shoulders and down my arms. "I'm assuming we're not doing this the easy way, so let's just get started." He grabbed my wrist, placing it against the table. I grunted when the tip of the kunai embedded itself into my hand, through the skin and muscle between the thumb and index finger. I attempted to rip my limb back, but it held tight against the desk where the knife dug into the wood.
I winced, feeling my eyes and lips twitch against the pain, but I didn't make another noise.
"Don't worry." Naruto appeared again. "There'll be no lasting damage. I missed all vital veins, it's just to keep you still." He twisted the gun's barrel, letting six bullets fall and clink against the table. He picked one and showed it to me, before slotting it into a chamber with a little click and spin. "I don't want to kill you, Sasuke, but you're only going to have, at the very most, five chances to give me those words."
He wouldn't.
He couldn't just shoot me on his first day... but then again, I didn't know this boy, maybe he had no qualms in pulling that trigger and ending my life.
He relaxed into the chair opposite mine, gun hanging loosely in one hand as it sat inches from my brain. His head tilted, smile never leaving his face as his eyes scrunched.
He was trying to scare me. Showing force with the kunai meant I'd believe he would pull the trigger. I sniffed out a small laugh, as if I'd be stupid enough to-
Click.
He pulled the trigger and the empty barrel rotated to the next. I blinked. He'd actually pulled it.
"That's, at the very most, four more chances, I suppose, neh, Sasuke?"
My heartbeat echoed. What the fuck? He'd actually pulled the trigger. So did that mean he really didn't care whether he killed me or not? My eyes flicked to the one-way mirror. Baki wouldn't let this happen?
He poked the knife sticking my hand to the desk, and I winced.
"Why won't you speak to me? You haven't said a word the whole time we've been in here." The smile fell from his face, and he bit the corner of his thumb, chewing off a dead piece of skin. "That's all I want. Just a few words. Until after class, then we can be friends."
He really was an idiot. Maybe he was a sociopath… perhaps even a psychopath. We'd learned about those types. If he was one, perhaps he really would shoot me. His eyes still held no malice, but also no fear in shooting a stranger in the head.
"Just a few words, Sasuke… three, two, one."
I sucked in air, but didn't steal my eyes from the gun hanging close to my face. I couldn't show a sign of weakness. I held a passive look against my features, hoping he wouldn't see my resolve wavering. One glimpse of fear, and he'd know I'd break sooner or later. If he thought I wouldn't speak, maybe he'd give up before this went too far.
Click.
I couldn't control the flinch, or the bead of sweat threatening to fall from my hairline. My hand burned as blood rushed to the wound, pooling over the table, drenching my fingers in red.
"You must have great luck. I don't think I've gotten passed the third shot many times." He raised his eyebrows. "Let's see."
Click.
He grinned as my head flew sideways.
"Wow." His eyes held an almost child-like curiosity. "You really are lucky."
He was insane. Shit. Fuck. The bead of sweat fell and my fingers twitched against the red table. He was going to shoot me… but that would be against the whole point of the exercise. The point was to destroy someone's resolve, not just shoot them if they didn't tell you what you wanted to hear. That… that made no sense, because then they'd be dead, and you'd get no information. Maybe he didn't care.
"What did the card say?" he asked. The cold tip of the gun touched me, and my cheeks trembled as it swept across my lips, passed my chin until it sat against my heart. He watched the weapon as it moved across my skin. The intensity shinning within his eyes was immense. His blue orbs now held no sign of light-heartedness. He was readying himself.
All memory of anyone else behind the wall disappeared. A large ball of saliva slid my throat. I'd never live it down if I revealed what was on the card so easily. There was no mental torture, no physical pain apart for the knife in my hand. But if I didn't give him the words, I'd be dead.
Click.
His chuckles filled the room as if I'd just said something amusing. "Oh, my god. Sasuke, I really thought you were going to die that time."
One chance left. Shit. He was right, I was lucky to have gotten so far. What would be worse? Failing… or dying? I didn't fear death, but over a practical… it all felt so unnecessary. Father had wanted me to go out into the world, make a name for myself, just as my brother had. What would he say if he knew I'd died so stupidly?
"Sasuke." Naruto's lips twisted back into a smile. "Please don't let me kill you."
My teeth ground together. I'd never buckle to an idiot like him. My pride wouldn't allow it. I wasn't 'letting' him do anything. We were at a stalemate now. Who would bail first?
"Sasuke." My name came from his mouth in an almost sing-song tone. "I really do think this is your last chance. I've never gone passed the fifth shot before. There'd be no shame in telling me. People are either dead or spilling their guts by now, so I'm impressed."
My teeth creaked under the stress. Was he patronising me? I narrowed my eyes, but they widened again when the gun flew back to my skull.
He sighed. "Hmm, that's disappointing. I'm sorry, really, I am."
His tanned finger moved against the trigger.
"Wait." Fuck. The word appeared before my brain kicked into gear. This was an exercise, for fuck's sake, it wasn't worth my life. If this was a real situation, I'd take the bullet. But I refused to die like this.
"Wait?" His grin widened and the gun lowered to the table. "Is there something you want to tell me?"
My lips moved, letting out a murmur.
"What was that?" he leaned closer.
He had definitely cheated… this wasn't the point of the practical.
"I said," louder than necessary, through gritted teeth. "You win."
He blinked. "I win?"
"It's what the card said, moron."
"Ahh." He stood and turned toward the one-way glass, but twisted halfway to raise the gun back to my face. I flinched when he pulled the trigger twice, before removing a bullet from his sleeve. He threw it against the table, and I watched it bounce. "Thank you, Sasuke."
I hated him instantly. His grin, that care-free attitude that radiated from his very core. He hadn't lied. He did expect a friendship, and attempted as soon as the class ended. He followed when I told him to get lost. He always did. I found it incredibly irritating, but Gaara, he found the boy amusing, and it wasn't long before I'd see the two chatting. Naruto gave Gaara tips during circuit training and it wasn't long before Gaara was showing him how to infiltrate firewalls that even NASA couldn't protect against.
"Hey, Sasuke, look," he said once while we sat in Computer tech. Gaara hadn't arrived yet, and I'd already finished my programming for the term. I still had to tweak here and there, but since Naruto hadn't been at the academy very long, he had a lot of coursework to catch up on. "Does this look right?" I twisted my head to view his screen. "Every time I attempt to block the virus, this happens." He clicked a few buttons, and the monitor freaked out. Thousands of tiny numbers and symbols flew across the screen, before the whole thing went blue and cut out. "Ugh," he groaned. "I just don't get it."
"Figure it out yourself," I mumbled, leaning back on my chair. I wasn't helping, in fact, I never even said he could occupy the seat beside me, but that's where he'd plonked himself after the bell for second period rang.
"Gaara would help me," he murmured, resetting the computer to try again.
"I'm not Gaara."
"Hmm, I've noticed." His arms folded across his chest, and I watched from the corner of my eye as his gaze moved to my face. "You're not still sore about that, are you?"
I felt my eyes narrow at my own monitor. I assumed 'that' was him holding an empty gun to my head, letting me think he was some kind of psychopath who was going to kill me. Yes, I was completely still sore about 'that'. I'd re-entered the classroom that day, only to see amusement in my peers' eyes. He'd caught me off guard. I'd failed the exercise. And there was nothing I could've done about it. "No," I said, letting the muscles around my cheekbones soften. I didn't want him to catch onto the fact I was still highly pissed about 'that'.
His chair wheeled closer and his features shifted inches from mine. "You're lying, but that's okay, I heard it took Gaara months to forgive you, so I'll wait."
My shoulders dipped a few centimetres. "He told you about that?"
"Hmm," he hummed. "He said something about you being a hypocrite for being pissed at me, especially after what you did to him." He leaned closer… so close I could feel his breath on me again. "I heard it was a lot worse."
I shoved him away. "That was different. It was a test, failing would've affected my grade at the end of graduation."
"I suppose a grade is worth ripping your friends teeth out, huh?"
My jaw tightened. If Gaara hadn't been so stubborn, it wouldn't have happened. Of course I didn't want to do that. I thought just the idea would scare him into telling me the Intel, especially after the first one slipped from his gum, almost choking him with hot, thick blood. But it didn't. Once I'd told him the plan I couldn't go back on my word. I would've failed instantly.
"Come on, just a little hint."
"Damare, Baka," I said, in one of many languages the school had taught us.
"Watashi mo Nihongo o hanasu koto ga dekimasu… teme."
"Tch. Urusai."
Was he… sulking? His arms folded across his chest, and he turned his face away. Sometimes I wondered how the hell his father had trained him, because he acted like no recruit I'd ever seen before. Not even the younger years acted as childishly as he did sometimes, and it really made me wonder what was wrong with him. He'd come here, acting like a real teenager, and shot to the top of most classes without even trying. It pissed me off to no end. And that smile, I'd never seen someone's face show exactly how they felt as much as Naruto's did… and that pissed me off even more.
That smile invaded his face again, making his whisker-like scars spread farther across his skin. "Gaara," he called when the redhead entered. "Help me, please. Sour-puss here won't." His thumb entered my personal-space as he shot it in my direction.
The redhead didn't say much, just shooed him from the monitor. His pale face lit up as the screen flickered with tiny boxes and lengthy streams of code. He explained what was wrong, and Naruto wrapped his arm around the thin shoulders. Gaara tensed. Physical contact was usually only displayed in combat, and it was evident by the bruises and cuts always littering his pale skin, that he wasn't the best at warding off attacks.
He let go, still grinning, and I saw amusement in those teal eyes. He definitely liked Naruto, Gaara wasn't one to just put up with someone. I stared at the blond-haired-wonder, but I supposed it was hard not to unless you held a grudge. He was so different from everyone else; in looks and demeanour. He was the only normalcy in this place, and that really wasn't anything to preach about, considering what the place was. "So, what're we doing tonight?"
"What do you mean?" Gaara asked, genuinely confused by the question.
"It's Friday. We don't have classes tomorrow, so we have to do something. You know, like get out of here."
"There is no getting out," I said, revelling slightly in the frown I had produced on his usually happy face.
"I haven't been outside since I got here."
"We can't. Not unless your parents come to take you for the weekend."
"What do you mean we can't? I've seen students leave."
"Our generation can't." I specified.
"But why?"
"I suppose it's an experiment." Gaara turned his own computer monitor on and plugged in a few devices he had been working on. "They won't know if it makes us better or worse soldiers until we leave, but they'll compare us to the rest of the generations."
"That's so shit." Naruto paused a moment, finger tapping lightly at a few keys. "So, you can't leave unless your parents come? What happens if they don't?"
"Then you don't leave," I said a little too quickly. I hadn't seen the sky for almost five years. Gaara rarely got to leave. I wondered if that's why we were so pale in comparison to Naruto. I'd always thought he was extremely tanned. But maybe… he was normal, and we were just overly white.
"So you're telling me you've spent almost five years here, training to be undercover agents, and you've never figured out how to get out?" He laughed. "That's the first thing I would've done. I'm not staying underground until we graduate. No way. I refuse."
"There is a way," Gaara said. "There's a couple corridors that the security systems don't reach. I noticed this a few years ago, but I'd never considered leaving."
"Which ones?"
"I don't think any good would come from telling you that. I don't think you realise what they'd do if they found out we'd disobeyed orders. It really isn't worth considering."
"You guys are no fun."
No, perhaps we weren't, but Naruto hadn't been around long enough to know how hard the academy could be. They were more lenient on the younger years, but first generation had learned not to disobey. There was no need for punishment any more, because no one put a foot out of line. Naruto's resolve was strong, I'd learned this during our many classes, but not even he would cope with Konoha punishment. I'd refused once, and only once. So had Gaara. We never refused again.
It would have been snowing outside, I was sure of it. The academy was quieter now. Many children had left for Christmas period. We got two weeks off a year, mainly because families complained about not spending the holidays with their children. Some remained behind. Either their parents were somewhere in the world working, or they had no parents to come pick them up any more. I'd said my goodbyes to Gaara that morning just before his brother arrived to collect him. It was brief, but I'd made the effort.
Just eight more months, and I could also leave, but Konoha Corps would still own me. I trailed my fingers along the Glock 22 sitting in its holder against the wall. This training wasn't cheap, and even though it had not been my decision to enrol, I would still be the one in hundreds of thousands of pounds of debt. And that debt would be paid off mission by mission. But I supposed someone had to do it.
I entered a small cubicle and placed the plastic glasses over my face and thick muffs over my ears. I tucked my black hair away and lifted the gun to head-height. I watched as a tiny hole appeared in the centre square of the target.
My eyes narrowed, focusing on the many targets that littered my view. Finger constantly tightening and releasing around the trigger. I supposed this time of year would've been harder if Father hadn't enrolled me. Maybe if I hadn't been here, I'd feel the pain of losing a family. Many of us had been diagnosed with secondary alexythemia before the first year ended. I still remembered sitting in that pure white room, watching as the nurses entered with clipboards.
I pulled the trigger a few more times, hitting the centre targets effortlessly.
A wall built up so high, even we couldn't get to our emotion any more. That's what she'd said, but I'd just nodded, not really caring, more focused on getting out the infirmary and back into class. All I'd had left was Father's dream for me to be the best. Following a brother who was continuously better. That's why I hated Naruto so much. He'd just entered the academy in our last year, full of laughter, smiles, emotions, and everything came so easily to him. At first I saw him as a rival, but it wasn't long before I could see he was leaving me behind as well. To him, I wouldn't have even been competition.
When a hand wrapped around my shoulder, I jumped and grabbed a large bicep before slamming a body into the cubicle wall. Gun pushing into blond hair as my finger twitched against the trigger, but I didn't relax when I realised who it was. I stood, fixated, as his hands flew up. His mouth opened and closed, but I couldn't hear him through the earmuffs. He paused, and looked at the red and black plastic around my head. His eyes gazed into mine, and he moved, ever so slowly, until he removed the cushioned noise blockers. "Hey," he said. "I was just saying that your shooting was impressive." He winced when the gun dug harder into his skull.
I didn't know why I was doing this. I couldn't even rationalise it myself. I guess, I just wanted to see the same look in his eyes that must've shown in mine that day. I wanted him to contemplate death. Perhaps think that there was a chance his life could end, and that decision would be mine. But that look never entered those blue orbs, and that pissed me off again.
"Come on, it's just me," he said, his fingers dug into my hand that wound around the front of his uniform. I wasn't stupid, I knew exactly who it was. "So, just put the gun down."
My eyes narrowed, but I didn't have the chance to pull the trigger even if I had really wanted to. He forced my hand into the air, gun pointing to the ceiling, as his body pushed forward, pinning me to the opposite cubicle wall. "What the hell is your problem?" he shouted. "I've been nothing but nice to you, and all you do is act like this."
"Nothing but nice? Is that what you call threatening to kill me over a stupid exercise."
"For fuck's sake, Sasuke. The gun wasn't even loaded." That made it worse. "You've said it wasn't a test, but it was to me. It was my first day, what do you think would've happened if I'd shown weakness?"
"If I hadn't failed you would've looked weak, and stupid for not having that gun loaded." I struggled against his grip, but he held me tight against the wall.
That playful look enter his eyes before the smile hit his face. "But I knew you'd tell me."
I growled and attempted to lift my knee against his groin, but he forced his body closer into mine to avoid the attack.
"Don't get me wrong, Sasuke. I know I wouldn't get away with it now, but you didn't know me then. For all you knew, I would've killed you, and I assumed no one was stupid enough to risk getting shot over an exercise. Just admit it, you can't stand the fact that someone bested you. That's what all this is about."
"No, shut the fuck up, idiot. You have no idea what you're talking about." Fuck him, and his stupid fucking strength. I wriggled again, but only managed to drop the gun. It clattered against the floor.
"I think I know exactly what I'm talking about. So come on, just admit it."
I gave up struggling. There was no point, he was stronger than me, the muscles underneath his uniform was double the size of my own. I supposed there were advantages to being out in the real world. "It's all I have… had, until you came along and took it away." His grip lightened momentarily, and I took that second to shove him away. "So I'm sorry if I don't want to be all friendly with you, but you took away the only thing I had left.
"I was going to graduate top of the class, I was going to be the best soldier this experiment had created." After the news of Mother and Father's death, it was the only thing keeping me going. I was going to make them proud, and this blond idiot took that away from me. "And then you come along, acting like you don't have a care in the world, and shoot to the top of almost every class without even suffering like we had. It's just… it's just..." I couldn't stop now I'd started, I needed someone to ram something into my mouth to get me to shut up, but that wasn't going to happen. "It's just not fair."
Silence enveloped us, and I sat on a table that a couple of riffles rested against. I ran a hand through my hair, before realising the shooting goggles were still on my face. I ripped them off and threw them across the floor. I hadn't felt this tired in years. I hadn't revealed this much emotion in years, and it had completely worn me out.
His feet padded across the floor, and the table creaked as he sat beside me. "It's okay to be upset," he said, placing his hands into his lap.
"I'm not upset."
He nodded. I wasn't looking at him, but I could sense the movement. "I'm sorry," he said. "I just thought you were annoyed that I'd bested you that time, I didn't think..." He shrugged. "Well, I dunno."
"Whatever," I mumbled. "What're you still doing here, anyway? I thought everyone left this morning."
"Hmm," he hummed. "I think this is the most you've ever said to me." I didn't inquire any further when he changed the subject, I just let it happen… let him think I hadn't noticed.
He followed me like a lost puppy after that. If I was in the library, he'd find me and pull out books to read. If I was in target practice, he would enter the cubicle beside. He never entered mine without me knowing of his presence again. I'd see the bullets flying before realising he had found me. It wasn't until the end of that first week that he came to my room for the first time. I had no idea what dorm he had been assigned to, so how he found me was beyond my knowledge. I wondered if Gaara's little hacking lessons were paying off. I'm sure he would've found that information in the system's mainframe. Or perhaps he'd just followed me one night? Either way, I didn't appreciate the intrusion.
"What do you want?" I asked when he knocked and entered.
"Your room looks just like mine," he said, observing the small single bed in one corner and desk covered in books in the other. Of course, no window, we were underground.
"What do you want?" I repeated, sitting up from my bed and closing the book on poisonous plants I'd been memorising. I peered at the clock ticking on the wall. Eight PM.
He shrugged and situated himself at the end of my bed. His grey shirt was half unbuttoned, revealing the top of a tanned chest. "I was bored. There isn't much to do in this place."
"There's plenty to do," I said, lifting the book I'd been engrossed with. I read a few words, before it disappeared from my hands. Naruto looked over the cover, before dropping it to the floor. I sighed. "What do you want from me?"
He shrugged again, but then I saw that childlike glimmer enter his eyes, and I knew it meant trouble. "I've been thinking about what Gaara said before. There's a couple of corridors that the security systems don't reach."
"That doesn't mean we could get out, though," I said, reading his mind.
He nodded. "Gaara said specifically that there was a way out, meaning the lapse in security must be somewhere where we can leave."
"There is no way, with only six months left, that I'm risking getting caught doing anything against the rules."
Naruto fanned a hand. "Rules-smules. If we got out, wouldn't they be more impressed? Plus, I doubt anyone's really paying that much attention right now. There's like, what, ten students in the whole building right now?"
"Even so..."
He moved closer; crawled across the bed until his face was inches from mine. I tilted my head away. "Come on, Sasuke, when was the last time you did anything fun?" He wouldn't be using the word 'fun' if they caught us.
I sighed. "Even if there was a way, I doubt we'd be able to find it. Gaara is a ten-times better hacker-"
"I already have."
"What?"
"Well." He scratched the back of his head. "I've been bored, so I sort of broke into Gaara's room and searched his computer. They were hidden pretty well, but he has blue prints of this whole place. Ways out. Ways in. The lot." He shrugged when my mouth opened, but I couldn't think of anything to say, apart for, what the hell? "I guess they're just in case he ever had to escape? He's smart, he obviously thought it was better safe than sorry."
"It's still a no."
"Please come with me, Sasuke. I'm going either way, so you might as well get some fresh air."
I shook my head. "I can't believe you hacked into Gaara's computer."
"Trust me, it wasn't easy."
I smiled then. The idea of the blond idiot getting through the redhead's protected files amused me. The tugging at my cheeks felt foreign, and Naruto must've mistaken the look for acceptance of his plan, because he grinned back at me. "This is going to be awesome." He stood and looked around the room. "Do you have a coat? Gloves, hat? It's going to be cold outside."
"I'm not coming with you."
"Don't be silly, of course you are." He tugged open the small wardrobe in the corner of the room. "Where's all your clothes?" he asked, flicking through a couple of grey shirts and trousers that hung beside one another.
"They are my clothes." He frowned, so I elaborated. "I haven't stepped foot outside for almost five years, what would I need warmer clothing for? The temperature in this place never changes, so I have no need for them."
"Oh," was all he could say. "Well, that's okay, just put a couple more layers on, I have some clothes you can borrow." And so he left, returning minutes later with a black coat, hat and gloves hanging loosely in his arms. His own blue coat clung to his body, and his hair was covered by an identical black hat. "Get changed," he said when I stared dumbly at the clothing.
I protested a little longer, but I reasoned in my mind that if he went alone, he'd most definitely get caught, and so when he left my room, I followed with a little grumble. I trailed him through the corridors, around hallways and down stair cases. I would never have admitted this to Naruto, but my heart did speed up a little at the prospect of leaving the academy. I wondered what it looked like outside. I remembered the entrance was in a middle of a secured field, but everything else was fuzzy inside my mind's eye.
When Naruto stopped walking, I skidded to a halt, almost crashing into his back as he threw an arm out to keep me stable. He placed a finger over his lips and pointed down a hallway I couldn't see. A door opened, and footsteps floated through the corridor toward us, before disappearing into another room. He grinned, and grabbed my wrist to speed up our pace.
What must we have looked like that night? Two teenage boys stalking the dark corridors, attempting to break free from a school that kept them locked away. In that moment, I forgot about a punishment. I didn't think about getting caught, I just focused on the idea of fresh air... feeling wind on my face. When we came to an old elevator shaft, he paused. "I think this is it," he said, attempting to wiggle his fingers between the gaps.
"This hasn't been used in years," I said. "It's broken."
"Hmm," he hummed. He managed to squeeze between the two metal doors. "Give me a hand."
I pulled one side as he pulled the other. Our heads stuck out into the dark abyss. I peered down, nothing. I tilted my head up, nothing there, either.
"Right," Naruto said, rubbing his hands together. "Now we climb."
"Climb?" I squinted into the darkness, and my eyes adjusted slightly. I could see the roof of the elevator below, and along the opposite wall, sat metal bars criss-crossing one another.
Naruto didn't answer. His knees bent, and before I had a chance to realise his plan, he'd jumped, hit the opposite wall and grabbed tightly to one of the bars. It creaked under his weight, but held. He placed a foot on the bar below and shimmied up the wall to give me room to grab hold.
"You're insane," I said.
"Yeah, probably," was his answer. "But I've gotten out of tougher places than this. I was thrown down a well in Russia once… now that was difficult to get out of." His knees bent and hands raised to grab higher bars when he climbed.
Looked easy enough, I supposed. So I followed suit. Climbed to the top of the shaft and held onto Naruto as he let go of the bars to push open the exit. It lifted easily, obviously where the elevator used to leave, and a gust of cold air hit my skin. Naruto climbed onto the grass above and lowered his hand for me to grab hold. I did, and he pulled me to my feet.
My gaze roamed the field. It was dark, it was cold, but it was beautiful. I breathed in, not caring that the frost in the air was stinging my lungs like little needles. I blinked a few times, not believing this was real.
"What're you thinking?" Naruto asked after a while.
I shrugged, mainly because I couldn't pin down one thought before it mixed with another. Childhood memories, my family, my training, they all mingled together, creating a heavy weight in my chest.
"Come on," he said, and before I could protest, he'd wound his fingers around mine. A part of me wanted him to let go. Men didn't hold hands; that was for children and lovers. But another part wanted to keep the warmth. So I allowed it, and followed him as we strolled across the field. He directed us as I lifted my face toward the sky. I didn't remember the stars being so large, but I supposed that may be because I'd come from a city. Or maybe I'd just never paid that much attention. I guessed it wasn't something you thought about when you could see them most nights.
We paused when entering a circle of trees around a lake. The moon hung within the water, waving ever so slightly as ripples danced across the surface. I dipped my finger into the cold liquid and sat against a rock.
"I can't believe we did this," I said mainly to myself when Naruto perched beside me, arms wrapped around himself to huddle some warmth into his body. I was freezing, also, but I didn't care. When was the last time I'd even shivered? I frowned when I remembered.
"You okay?" Naruto asked. "Your frowning."
"I'm just remembering something."
"Doesn't look like anything good by the look on your face."
I shook my head, feeling a little dizzy. "No... the reason I didn't want to come in the first place."
"Oh?"
"Hmm." This time I hummed.
"Do you mind me asking the reason?" I turned my gaze away from the lake and watched the moon now wave in a blue ocean on Naruto's face. His tan was no longer visible, and for a moment, I wondered how pale I must've looked.
"There's a reason Gaara is the only person who I consider a… friend. I suppose, we sort of… latched onto each other within our first year." I swallowed. "It was… difficult."
When I didn't continue, Naruto spoke. "You ripped out half his teeth, beat and humiliated him for thirty-six hours and he forgave you." He nodded. "I know there's some bond stronger between you than meets the eye. I know I act stupid, but I'm not."
I winced at the bluntness in his words, and scrunched my nose even farther when Gaara's screams echoed through my mind. "I didn't want to do those things." I gazed back at the lake, a cloud covered the moon, turning the water into a black hole. "If I failed that test… they make you retake it until you pass. Gaara knew that as well, which is why he didn't give up any information. I suppose… he'd rather it have been by my hand than someone else's. Believe it or not, but if I hadn't done it, it could've been a whole lot worse. They wouldn't have stopped us if they didn't believe it was going too far. Gaara could've suffered for days longer. Some did."
I looked at Naruto, who sat calmly, waiting for me to continue. "During our first week here, we were told we needed to know what it felt like to be shot. And so when they placed the gun into my hand and told me to shoot the 'redhead', I refused. They'd grabbed it from me and gave it to him, he also refused, so they used us as deterrents… subjects within training."
"What do you mean?" Naruto said, voice sounding oh so quiet against the sound of the ripples hitting the lake's edge.
"They don't do it to the younger generations any more, but once or twice a month we would have a special class. They technically called it Resolve Training, but it wasn't. Sort of like Intel Extraction, but one-hundred times worse. They would teach us how to omit enough torture not to kill and how to withstand it. And if you broke the rules, you would be the subject during those classes. By second year, no one put a foot out of line, and so your name would be picked randomly."
"Are you serious? So you and Gaara..."
I nodded. "For most the first year. They calmed it down a bit after losing half the student body within six months, but it still happens. They only permit it within graduation year's curriculum now."
"Our year?"
"Yeah, we don't always know when it's going to happen, but after Christmas is usually a safe bet."
He nodded. And I wondered if we thought the same. "It's going to be me, isn't it?"
I didn't say anything. I didn't have to. He was new, he'd have to take it at least once to graduate. He nodded again.
"Naruto, can I ask you something?"
"Sure?"
"You've obviously been trained in the field, so why you here, why now?"
He sighed. "That's a long story, Sasuke. And I'm not sure if it's the right time to go into all of that."
And so we didn't. I didn't pry further. I felt a little put-out after telling him so much, but if it wasn't the right time, then I respected that. I watched the moonlight dance on his skin a little longer. When he looked at me, I turned back toward the lake. We didn't speak much after that; just sat, taking in the sweet smell of frosted grass. I was disappointed when it was time to head back inside, but we couldn't stay out all night. A tiny part of me thought about running away. It technically wasn't a prison, but would they allow that? After one last look at the stars, I descended the elevator shaft.
R&R
Ugawa
xx
