Well, hello there :). Thank you for clicking on the little blue title and giving this story another hit. This is my first Invader Zim fic and certainly not to be the last. After reading this, if you like it, I hope you stick around for the rest of my IZ goodies ^_^.

Disclaimer: I do not make claim to anything of Invader Zim. It belongs to the god of insanity, imagination, and good dark themes Jhonen Vasquez, and...Viacom/Nickelodeon.

Enjoy~


"And that, miserable children," Ms. Bitters finally concluded, "is why the sun is destined to implode and suck the planet into a violent explosion that will devastate all life on Earth." Some of the kids stared horrified at her, others were doing something else, and the rest were just sleeping.

So Dib was the only one who noticed Zim trying to hold back an evil laugh. He couldn't really tell if the green-skinned alien was laughing at something Ms. Bitters said or if he was coming up with a diabolical scheme. Naturally Dib's mind jumped to the most logical conclusion.

"You're planning something, aren't you, Zim?" he yelled across the room as he jumped onto the top of his desk. Zim didn't seem to hear, though. Dib narrowed his eyes. "Heyyy, Zzimm, Earth to Zim!"

Zim took notice of 'earth' and turned to see why the human worm was making a comparison like that. Dib didn't see any more of Zim after that because his vision suddenly became obstructed by Ms. Bitters. She had ghosted over to his desk and was now towering ominously over him. The room had gone dark, and Dib began to tremble and sweat nervously.

"Dib," she began, "as punishment for never ceasing to speak and always making such naïve and obnoxious remarks about Zim being an alien, which I know you are thinking, you will be -" The last bell rang and the room returned to its normal lighting. Ms. Bitters was quiet for a second. "Well, it seems you have escaped your dire ending today, Dib. Get out of my class." She slithered back to her desk.

Dib sighed in great relief. That was a close one, he thought. He turned back to where Zim was supposed to be, but found the alien had already left.

"Oh, no! I have to catch him!" he screeched as he ran out of the room. Ms. Bitters growled.

~o~

Meanwhile, Zim was marching down the sidewalk and had given in to his mad laughter. Dib had been right in his conclusion after all. "Finally, I have created the most ingenious plan for dominating this filthy dust ball!" the Irken yelled down the street. "It's so fool-proof not even the Dib-monkey can stop me! Muhahahahaha!"

He had been plotting such a plan all day, and strangely he had Ms. Bitters to thank for it. Not that he ever would, of course.

"Hahaha, I, the great Irken Invader Zim has at last –" He let out a barely audible yelp when, out of the blue, he felt like something shot through his brain and his PAK wiring sparked. For a split second he was in unbearable pain, but then his head was just swimming. He thought he was going to fall over so he stabilized himself by placing a hand on a fence he was near.

Glancing around quickly, he saw that whatever that just was wasn't an attack from Dib. "Hah, must be my excitement, hehe."

After a moment or two of resting, he continued on to his base very eager to tell his leaders the good news.

~o~

Dib ran out of Skool and down the sidewalk, intent on catching Zim. He knew the alien was planning something and he just had to stop him. Besides, he got new alien sleepcuffs that he still couldn't wait to try out.

He finally saw Zim marching slowly to his base. "Hey, Zim!" he called. "What do you think you're doing?"

Zim turned around looking a bit angry. "What's it look like, insect? I'm going home."

"Why, so you can make an evil plan to dominate Earth? Is that it?"

Zim grinned, "Of course not. I already have a plan." And with that he burst into tyrannical laughter.

Dib gasped, "It's worse than I thought!" He pulled the new cuffs out of his pocket and brandished them menacingly. "Too bad I can't let you win, Zim!"

Zim realized what it was Dib was holding and nervously blurted, "Filthy human, I thought you lost those my first day of school."

"Isn't it pretty obvious? I bought new ones, duhhh," Dib smirked. He then lunged for Zim, who screamed and dodged. Then the chase began.

Zim dashed into the road and across the street causing a car to swerve and crash into a fence. "Crazy kids!" the driver yelled.

Dib followed hot on Zim's heels. "You can't escape, Zim!"

"You cannot catch Zim!" the Irken yelled back. He jumped around a corner and ran through a hedge, getting leaves in his wig and splinters in his hands as he shoved his way through. When he got out he found he was in someone's yard. He saw an open street with no Dib in sight, so he ran across the yard and straight…through a sprinkler. He screamed as he flung himself on the ground and rolled around on the grass.

Dib didn't see where Zim went, but he did hear the screaming and quickly found Zim desperately trying to shake off the burning water. "I've got you now, Zim!" the boy shouted.

"Why do you always give away your position, Dib-worm? You would fail as any kind of a soldier!" Zim shouted back as he got up and continued to make a run for it.

"Hah, thanks for the tip! I'll be more careful next time!"

"You liiiee!" Zim ran across the street again and Dib tried to follow, but he was blocked from crossing because a big truck almost flattened him.

When the truck passed, Zim had disappeared. "I'll cut him off at his house," he thought out loud and then made his way to Zim's base.

~o~

Zim had activated his PAK legs and climbed to the roof tops, and was now trying to get to his base without the chance of Dib being able to follow him easily. "Of all the most annoying things to get in my way! That horrible human leech baby!" He complained like so practically the entire way to his base. When he reached it he jumped off the roof he was on into the yard and marched to the door.

"Zim!"

Zim spun around and saw Dib with an insane grin running towards his base holding those blasted cuffs outstretched. "Gir," Zim yelled, "there's an intruder!"

A little green dog saying, "Yes, sir!" suddenly flew through the glass of the left window. Zim charged inside and slammed the door shut behind him, leaving Gir and the garden gnomes to take care of Dib.

Dib stopped. He wasn't worried about the crazy robot, who had started dancing and paying no mind to anyone around him, but he was afraid of the gnomes and didn't want to lose his cuffs again. Besides, Zim had already gotten away.

"You've escaped this time, Zim, but you're plan won't work! Not as long as I, Dib, paranormal investigator and sole protector of Earth, am here and strong!" And with that said, he retreated to his home.

Zim, who had pressed himself against the door in case Dib tried to come in, sighed in relief and walked into the living room. "Now that that's taken care of, I can tell the Tallests the good news." He brushed the leaves out of his wig, not caring enough to take off his disguise.

Gir came back inside and followed Zim to the underground part of the base. "Gir, repair that window when we are done here," he ordered as he put his hands behind his back.

"Okie-dokie!" Gir replied happily. Upon reaching the base floor, Zim walked over to the computer and contacted his superiors. The screen was fuzzy and blurred for a second or two then the faces of Tallest Red and Tallest Purple came into focus.

"Greetings, my Tallests," Zim began formally. Normally the Irken leaders would smirk, blanch, or cough up whatever snack they had been eating whenever Zim called, but this time their expressions were cold and staring. Zim, of course, failed to notice this.

"The mission on Earth goes well, for I have now created the most ingenious plan for conquest." He began pulling the splinters out of his hands as he continued. "The plan – ouch – is really quite simple. It's based on what would happen to a planet – ow – if its sun imploded. If that were to happen, of course, all life on this miserable excuse for a rock would be destroyed and pointless for conquering – ouch. So instead, I will take my ship and find a much, much smaller star, tow it nearby with a tractor beam, and cause a reaction within the – gahouch – star to make it implode on itself and shut down all electricity and put cities into shambles leaving the filthy humans with absolutely no means of protection. After that, I wouldn't even need the fleet to conquer – ow – the doomed dirt children. Hehe, what do you think of my brilliant plan?"

The Tallests hardly made a reaction the entire time Zim spoke. "My Tallest?"

"We're tired of this, Zim," Red finally spoke up.

"Uh?" Zim inquired.

"Yeah, simply tired," Purple chimed in.

"You have always been a failure to your mission," Red continued. The way he said 'mission' confused Zim.

"I'm afraid I don't understand, my Tallests."

The Tallests stared at him as if trying to figure out why Zim was so dense; however, they both knew him well enough to know that he wouldn't be able to get the idea on his own. "You're mission isn't real, Zim! We just sent you to Earth because we hoped you'd die or at least leave us alone," Red stated. Not believing what he was hearing, Zim's eyes widened.

"But you couldn't even do that!" Purple said. "So we've decided to just kill you ourselves."

Zim's non-existent brows furrowed. "What do you mean, my Tallests?"

"We've infected you with the Virus!" informed Red angrily. The little Irken's eyes widened even more so in shock. "Surely you've felt the effects already?" He remembered the pain he felt when he was leaving school and he suddenly realized he had a pounding headache.

"My Tallests…"

"We're not your Tallests!" Purple yelled.

"You're a failure, Zim. You're a defect," Red sneered. Zim recoiled from the computer in horror.

"No, you're lying! Lies! All lies!" Zim shouted. "You have to be lying…"

"It's unfortunate that we couldn't bring you to Irk for a proper trial, but considering who you are, that would be a pretty bad idea. Goodbye, Zim. Have fun dying," Red said with Purple nodding pointedly. And with that the Irken leaders blinked off the screen and were gone.

Zim had never felt more shocked, angry, hurt, betrayed, and confused in his entire life. He looked down at his hands that were slightly bloody with his purple Irken blood from the splinters and felt wretched tears come to his Irken eyes. But he wasn't truly Irken anymore. "Everything I've worked for…everything I've suffered for…it was all a…lie?"


Well, I hope it'll come out okay. Anonymous reviews, critiques, and flames welcome and very appreciated.