AN :
Fist Fic so my Grammar is gonna be pretty yikes. Enjoy, i guess.
By the way, there will be OCs in this fic but none of them will be too plot relevant - only side characters and disposable enemies.
- Super duper mild lemon warning just to be safe - (Nothing bad but i'd rather be safe than banned) -
In the year 2138 AD there was a term: DMMO-RPG. That word was an acronym for "Dive Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game". These games were played by connecting a dedicated console to the brain via a neuronal nano-interface - an intracerebral nanocomputer network, created from the fusion of cyber- and nanotechnology. These were games that allowed one to enter a virtual world and experience it as though it were real life.
Among the myriad DMMO-RPGs that thronged the market, one of them stood head and shoulders above the others: Yggdrasil. This game had been painstakingly developed and released twelve years ago, in 2126. Compared to other DMMO-RPGs of the time, Yggdrasil's primary gimmick, containing nine distinct player worlds, was complete freedom for the player. Whether it was player classes (of which there was 2000+ and a player could take any amount they wished within their overall level cap) or avatar customization, YGGDRASIL was in a real of it's own compared to the many lesser DMMO-RPGS, leading to it's immense popularity and longevity. As such, in YGGDRASIL it was almost impossible to make identical characters by pure chance unless someone was deliberately trying to replicate a specific build. Even if such event occurred, the sheer amount of gear, spells, abilities and other such items that one player would accrue, it was entirely impossible for two player characters to be identical. To even further push for a uniquely tailored experience, a player could purchase and use a variety of creator tools to fully customize one's armor, weaponry, flavor text, appearance, and even NPCs.
A vast playing field awaited its players. Ripping the worlds and their respective denizens from Norse mythology, the worlds in YGGDRASIL were : Asgard, Alfheim, Vanaheim, Nidavellir, Midgard, Jotunheim, Niflheim, Helheim, and Muspelheim. Once YGGDRASIL stood at the apex of all DMMO-RPGs, dwarfing the second most popular by many times over- Still, all that was in the past now. YGGDRASIL was now a dying game, a relic from the past, player numbers dwindled and the once constant flow of new game content had long since ceased. YGGDRASIL'S decline was slow and arduous, however, in one last ditch attempt to revive the game and retain what little players remained, the YGGDRASIL Dev team released one final patch for the game : Ragnarök .
Swamps of Helheim, 6 months before YGGDRASIL'S fall
Plumes of putrid gas erupted from every corner of the swampland, fumes of noxious vapor linger in the air, ringing the surroundings with a distinct purple hue. The lilac miasma enclosed on all the surrounding swamplands, corrupting the very air of the swamp. The plant-life itself was being strangled by the mist, lavender worts peppered the rotting tree stumps, pulsing and contorting as they suffocated their hosts. The very life was being ripped from the trees as they drank from the stagnant pools of filth that littered the undulating floor of the bog. This is the swampland of Helheim, one of the higher level areas of Helheim and notorious for the numerous debilitating status effects that players and monsters were instantly afflicted upon entering the swamps. Players often referred to locations like the swamps - which denied any players who weren't specifically warded against status effects as "Dead Zones" due to how barely any players would ever venture into said zones, effectively making them "dead".
*BOOM*...*BOOM*...*BOOM* Shock-waves rippled through the static water, sending horrific swamp dwellers fleeing into the many orifices in the flooring of Helheim.
A large furry creature poked its draconic face out from a hole it burrowed into the decaying carcass of a tree. Pus seeped out from every orifice on the being's face, it's bloodshot eyes emitted a faint look of pain as the numerous parasites gnawed upon its furred body. Mangled fur clung to it's wiry frame, it's coat was laced with the purpled oozings of the swamp. Put simply, it looked like a rather poor attempt at making a hairy dragon. This was the master of the swamps, [Nurvureem] the Infested Black Dragon of Helheim.
When the Dragon heaved it's clumsy body out of the filth in order to gaze upon who disturbed it's rest, it was met with innumerable undead, hundreds of undead descending upon its den in a torrent of negative energy. Each undead creature, shambling towards the den, their march of death further polluting the swamps with their negative energy and the upheaval of swamp muck from the waters that their footsteps caused. The hordes' wheezing and groans blended with the thuds of their infernal, armored feet as they sent them crashing into the swamp water, creating a hellish cacophony.
Behind the army of death was what looked like a mountain of corpses was barely visible through the purple haze and the undead. Draconic bodies were piled on top of one another, concealing the floor with their decaying forms. Nurvureem beheld one of the bodies being cloaked in a swirling cloud of condensed negative energy. Armored spikes punctured the dead dragon's rotting flesh, expanding and writhing as an undead hand scraped away the flesh that held it within the corpse. Eventually, an [Eternal Death], in all it's grey armored glory, clawed its way out from the corpses, joining the rest of its kin in their march towards Nurvureem. More and more clouds descended on the corpses to continue the birthing of more shambling horrors, it was a farm of the undead. Upon the mass of draconic corpses was the specter of death himself. The figure was clad in a magnificent black academic robe, edged in violet and gold with an exposed chest, leaving only the brilliant white sheen of bone. Embedded within the chest cavity was an ominous red orb that gleaned wickedly in the moonlight. The collar of the robes seems excessively gaudy, but somehow it fits the overall design. However, the exposed head, like the chest of the creature, was bare with the radiant sheen of bone being that only distinguishing feature. Points of dark red light blazed within its large eye sockets, and behind that skull glowed a halo of black radiance. A small name tag floated above the specter's head, reading [Momonga Lv 100].
Before Nurvureem could fully awaken from his slumber it was hit by a wave of paralyzing dread.
"[Penetrate Magic - Aura of Despair 5]" A few seconds past and a stream of blackened wisps flared up from around the undead, snaking their way towards Nurvureem and started to envelope him. And then...nothing.
"...Eh? Really? That's like a 7% chance of not working! I knew I should have saved [TGOALID] for the higher level bosses instead of wasting it on those [Chaos bunnies]...Damn my rng sucks. God damn shitty Devs can't even make grinding easy for solo players, can they?." The specter of death seemed rather displeased with his current circumstances.
"Well, whatever, [Attack]" With that simple command, the horde of undead came crashing down upon Nurvureem, swords, knives and spears bore into Nurvureem's flesh, scraping claws tore his flesh asunder while magic of all tiers was bombarding him from all directions, death was inevitable. Trees were battered, muck sprayed everywhere in sight as the dragon desperately tried to fight off the invaders, Nurvureem was torn to shreds by the undead horde. Only a maimed mass of smoking flesh was left of Nurvureem...that and the massive amount of loot and data crystals that exploded out from his body.
"Fwwwwah, 34 more 'till Nazarick is in tip-top shape again...ugh….of course I got the lowest amount of gold in his drop table. Todays going to be a long day and it's my day off from work as well…. [Transport the body 30 metres backwards]! *sigh* " As the horde of undead were given a new command, they sprang back into life, pulling and heaving the dragon's corpse, transporting it to the pile 30 metres away but then...
"GRRRROAAAHHH" A mass of umbral scales burst from the swamp pools nearby. Unlike the previous dragon, this one was in pristine condition, it's shadowed scales slick with swamp residue, powerful robust limbs rippled with muscle as the dragon ripped itself away from the sticky pool that clung to it's scales. Purple veins of swamp water drizzled down the dragon's body in a lavender spider-web pattern, giving the underside of the drake's scales an ominous violet hue. White eyes, locked onto Momonga while a green tinge permeated the chest cavity of the dragon, charging it's [Acid Gush] ability. Leisurely, Momonga strolled towards his surprise visitor, despite his best efforts to look cool, each footstep in the bog let out a comically loud *sploosh* succeeded by an outburst of scum filled water.
"Bonus spawn! Damn, my rngs pretty good! Right then, may as well kill it. It is level 95 and it's a dragon that I can actually [Cripple] this time so the gold drops should be good. [Wrymslayer]."
The [Infested Black Dragon] immediately crumpled back into the bog's depths as the red orb within Momonga's chest buzzed and whirled, letting loose a red mist that overpowered the swampland's natural purple haze.
*ping* You have ONE unread message in your inbox
"Eh? A message, huh...and from the Devs no less! Wait...IS IT A [WORLD ITEM] DROP!?...Probably not...Well, may as well read it, it's not like I'm doing anything important anyway…"
TO : [ALL]
- We apologize for the late message, over in the east we've been hit by a pretty bad storm so the offices' internet connection has been rather unstable-
As some of you may have heard, we have been working on the final YGGDRASIL expansion: Ragnarök . It's been a long 12 years hasn't it? [The World Tree] is going to face an unimaginable foe at the end of these short 6 months we have left together. You're all going to die many times over in the encroaching cataclysm, you've all been preparing for this very day - a chance to defend the withering [World Tree] from disaster by leveling up and collecting the [World Items]. Despite this goal we set out for you at the launch of the game, you guys haven't even discovered 40% of the game's content...shameful. Because of you the [World Tree] is as good as dead. We did go overboard with hiding content behind gimmicks so it's understandable not everything has been found, but really, 40% in 12 years? Regardless of you guys' poor performance, it's truly been a great run, words cannot express the gratitude we at the YGGDRASIL Dev team feel towards our dedicated player-base, truly thank you for these 12 years (and your money).
So, in order to make sure our players can stand a chance against the new event monsters, we are launching the [Ragnarök - Prelude] event. This event will give everyone a chance to reach the new max level as well as find newer and stronger gear to combat the encroaching disaster, this period will only last for a few weeks so hurry up!
Anyway, you're all probably wondering what's in [Ragnarök] and [Ragnarök - Prelude]. Well simply put, everything. Kind of. You see, we still have a bunch of content that's either incomplete or was abandoned in favor of other projects, so, we've decided to unleash our archives upon the player base and let you experience everything that YGGDRASIL has to offer.
You're all dying to know some specifics so here is a list of only the major of changes we made to YGGDRASIL :
- The [CashShop] is holding a sale throughout the event period, check the store for more details
- The Level cap for both PC and NPCs has been increased by 100 levels (For Guild-NPCs you will have to manually level them up via grinding)
- Players can fully upgrade all currently equipped items to level 200 equivalents once as long as level 200 has been reached by the player
- Increased amount of possible Job Classes for players to taken in tandem with each other eg [Armored-knight] can be taken as well as [Cook] regardless of stat prerequisites
*This only applies to basic Job Classes, you still have to progress the basic Class prerequisites to unlock the advanced classes
- Classes deemed as 'Joke classes' by the community have been considerably buffed eg [Jester] and [Cook]
- New classes
- New spells
- New enemies
- New enchantments
- New Weapons, Armor, etc
- Completely replaced low-level mobs (level 1 - 30) with higher level grind fodder (level 40 - 50) with identical stats so low level players are given a chance to level up quickly
- Due to popular demand there will be officially sanctioned tournaments for limited [World] Classes and Races (Yes, you can finally become a [World Enemy] without being banned immediately), each Class and Race can only be attained a total 20 times however so be quick!
*Please be aware that the playable versions of [World Enemies] will not be as powerful as the NPC variants
- Due to popular demand, Heteromorph players are given the [Wolf in Sheep's clothing] ability regardless of level. Please note that this spell can only be used to assume a [Human] or [Elf] avatar unlike the [Lerker] exclusive variant
*Players will have to design their disguised appearance however
- Increased exp gain for all PCs that have passed level 100 (2.5x exp gain)
- Incomplete or unused [World Items] have been added to drop tables of all high level [World Enemies] and extremely few super-high-level boss monsters
- Re-balanced [World Items] due to the increased level cap
- Overhauled the lower tiers of magic to make them viable at higher levels of play
*Note that a tier 1 - 9 spell will never be stronger than a 10th tier spell, this is a simple buff to base damage and mana efficiency for lower tier spells
Well, those are the major changes at least, there's quite a bit of additional changes but it wouldn't be any fun if we told you everything, so go out and explore! So yeah, thank you so much and all that.
That's all for now folks, take care!
P.S We're truly sorry that Heteromorph players have had their YGGDRASIL experience ruined by being hunted by Humanoid players. So, as recompense, every Heteromorph will receive 10 levels worth of bonus exp that they are free to use in any way they see fit as well as the [Hunted] passive ability. You guys have been through a lot throughout YGGDRASIL'S life and we're sorry for the discrimination our Heteromorphic friends have suffered through these 12 years.
FROM : YGGDRASIL DEV TEAM
"Fwah, so that's what the update was for, HeroHero was right after-all, the Devs really hadn't abandoned us. But really though, the Dev's are just going to let us become [World Enemies] just for winning a single tourney? *sigh* The Devs must be getting desperate to retain players after all then. But hey, free exp and two new abilities are pretty good, they could have done something about the Heteromorph hunts a few years ago if they really cared so much about it…." Momonga muttered to himself, closing his near barren inbox, shifting his attention to the swamplands.
"Well, as great as grinding for new classes would be, I still gotta grind for Nazarick's upkeep costs. Maybe once I've got enough gold I'll try to level up...Who am I talking at this point?" And with that said, Momonga turned towards the [Infested Black Dragon] which was still writhing amongst the swamp's abyssal filth, courtesy of Momonga's dragon crippling [World Item].
"Let's continue then, shall we?" He readied his next spell.
Many painful hours and many corpses later, Nazarick conference room
The conference room of Nazarick, once the room where the concocting of the nefarious guild Ainz Ooal Gown's plans would take place, plans that would inevitably result in the mass murder of player avatars. Now, the room has been without purpose now that the room's masters has long since vanished, the room stagnates in a state of perpetual disuse. In the center of the gaudy room was a gigantic table carved of gleaming black stone sat in the center of the room, surrounded by forty one luxurious chairs. However, all but one of those seats were empty. Once, every single place had been filled, nowadays, all but one seat would remain vacant, being denied their very purpose.
"Uuuuuugh, finaaaally. It's paid off for now. We really went overboard with all the special effects...why did we do that anyway? Whatever, at least it's done for now. All that's left to do is use the bonus exp and I'll be done for the day!"
Momonga's avatar crumpled into its respective seat in the conference room, bringing up a multitude of menus.
"Well, let's see what I can do with these levels. Maybe I can take advantage of the bonus exp growth and completely reset my build? Ooooh I could minmax to be like Ulbert...Wait, I don't have [World Disaster] and like hell I'm going to hunt down any of the current holders. Nah, on second thought I'm too lazy even to solo grind for anything like that."
The menu fiddling continues.
"Oh? What's this?"
There in the class select menu was a myriad of differing options, ranging from physical builds like the [Fighter] lines, rogue builds for the well [Rogue] class line and even a couple joke classes such as [Cook].
"Eh? When the Devs said they made it so we can choose more classes I didn't think I'd get the option to choose any basic class I wanted. Damn, what do I go for if that's the case? Do I continue on as a [Necromancer] and refine my dream build like HeroHero would or do I become some sort of jack of all trades like Touch? Maybe I could forgo my current build and completely redistribute my levels as a melee fighter like Nishikienrai? Oh! If I choose a range demon build like Pero, then my solo grinding trips will take way less time!"
Too many options dammit! Why can't the Devs implement a "Suggested classes" option or something?!
In spite of YGGDRASIL standards, the sheer amount of player freedom was almost worrying Momonga, who knows what kinds of disgustingly OP builds players could concoct with their normal class restrictions being removed? What happens if some of the players from the invasion of Nazarick decided to bombard the guild base with their [World Enemy] abilities and spells? What'll happen if Momonga is the only one left to defend? How long will he have to grind to pay for the rebuilding fees? Will there even be a guild-base left to rebuild? What if they destroy the staff? What will he do if the guild is dissolved? How will he spend his free time if that's the case? Will he finally have to interact with real people? Will he finally get laid as a result? All these questions and more were swirling around in Momonga's brain and needless to say, they were very real concerns considering how salty some of the players from the invasion still are and the opportunistic play-style most top guilds employed. Even to this day a few stray players will attempt a siege on the guild base and if not, the YGGDRASIL forums will always have at least a few choice words for the members of AOG and Nazarick.
The swirling vortex of highly troublesome thoughts were interrupted by a system notification. A notification that snapped the Overlord back into reality.
*ping* [HeroHero] has logged in
"Eh?"
Before Momonga could even utter any more words, the chair next to him was engulfed in a sticky, writhing tar-like slime. The monster was HeroHero, an [Elder Black Ooze], the strongest playable slime type monster. In typical slime fashion, rather than sitting on the chair HeroHero was engulfing the chair within his body. His surface constantly oozes and pulsates, coating the chair in it's murky blackness, the only non-black parts of his horrific body were the twin orbs of emerald radiance contained with the 'head' of HeroHero.
Turning to his skeleton friend, HeroHero sent a *Waving emoji*
"Yooo Momonga, I told you the Devs were still working on the game! We even got some free stuff due to the virtual racism we faced, the Demihuman forums are throwing a shit-storm about the 'injustice' of only Heteromorph and not being given compensation. Even the guys in the [GreenSkinsOnlyClub] are salty!"
"Hero..Hero….? Y-you don't sound like...well like you're not tired at all. And I didn't expect to even see you until the last week or so of YGGDRASIL, what with your hours being increased at work again. You sure you're alright? You sounded like you were going to fall asleep mid-sentence last time you logged in." A worried Momonga hurriedly spewed his words out, shocked by his friend's surprise visit.
"Ah, nice to see you too Momonga." HeroHero fumbled for a bit then produced a small *Sad-face emoji*.
"Oh! Sorry, it's nice to see you too. But it's just that last time we spoke yo-" Momonga was cut off by his oozing friend.
"Yeah, well, about that. I come with great news : I'm unemployed!"
"Umu, I see- WHAT, y-you don't have a...uh...wait isn't being unemployed like a death sentence though? You sure you have time to play YGGDRASIL and not look for a job?" Even more worry seeped into Momonga's tone. Being unemployed in the current year is akin to suicide, as much as working for a black-hearted company sucks, it's still better than starving to death or living on the streets.
"Yeah, normally I'd be moping about looking for the next black-hearted company to work for but I hit the jackpot though, although it's not really the kind of jackpot you'd think of. I couldn't even believe it myself." For the first time in years, HeroHero's voice carried an enthusiastic energy to it, leaving Momonga stunned for a short while.
Whatever kind of jackpot he hit, it must have been massive to get the normally lazy and reserved HeroHero riled up.
"Well? What kind of jackpot is it then? Wait...did you literally hit the jackpot with the lottery or something?"
Despite the state of modern society and the general unforgiving conditions of the world, winning the lottery would still gross a life altering amount of money. In fact, winning the lottery was the only way someone who was a "natural born loser" could ever move up in society, even if the chances were rigged so severely that no one had won in the last 10 years.
"I just said you wouldn't think of it. It's even better than that." *Smiley-face emoji*
"Huh? Better?"
Better? What the hells better than winning the damn lottery? Has he snapped from being overworked and is now delusional or has he gone full Ulbert and started living in a fantasy world in his own head while pretending everything is hunky-dorey? I hope that's not that case, no one deserves to be like Ulbert...no one.
"Yeah, somehow. I can hardly believe my luck to be honest with you Momonga. So, in short, I sued the bastards over at my company due to my health plummeting as a result of my ever increasing work hours, along with the awful working conditions. It was beyond filthy in the offices, sleeping bags everywhere, litter on the floor, bugs, rats, smelly fat people, everything you can think of. Originally I was sure that my case was gonna go as most cases like mine usually go, with nothing happening. However, I got into contact with Touch who after hearing me out, pulled some strings on his end, that paired with Bellriver's expose of the company and the poor effort made to cover up his death, I actually won. The bastards actually got what they deserved, so the company was dissolved and from what I know most of the workers were compensated and such. Hell, the money I won was pretty poor considering the wealth of the company but I should be well off for the next few years if I'm careful. So now I have nothing to do in my free time other than sleep and game. I'm free! No longer do I have to run the rat race and slave away at my job, watching my body deteriorate as my employers keep adding more and more hours to my contract. I can finally sleep! Me and Peroroncino even started talking again as well!" HeroHero rattled off his current circumstances with an ever increasing amount of zeal in his voice, complete with random flailing of his stubby arms to emphasize his excitement.
"Th-that's..Holy shit HeroHero! That's amazing! Old man Touch is still alive? I thought Grandpa woulda retired by now or something." Exclaimed Momonga, letting loose a flurry of Smiley-face emojis just to reinforce his happiness.
"I've even managed to start falling asleep naturally at night due to the reduced stress but…. *yawn* my body is still a complete...m-mess. Heh, I used too much energy getting all excited, I think. And yeah, Touch is still around, he hasn't really been doing much at work so we've reconnected over these past few months, same with Peroroncino and a few others." The black ooze slumped back into his chair, in stark juxtaposition to his earlier mood, HeroHero's fatigue crept into his voice.
"Ah, if your body is still falling apart then...well you should probably go to bed then, I don't want your health decreasing anymore." Concern was rife in Momonga's tone, he's seen his friends be drained of their souls via work, he doesn't want to see HeroHero to have major health concerns now that he's free.
Globblets of HeroHero's body were flung into the air as he shook his head, staining the massive central table with his inky blackness.
"Nope not this time, Momonga. I'll just sleep in extra tomorrow instead, I want to get a heads start on getting my character leveled up in case anyone else comes back. Although, *yawn* maybe only a few hours of grinding tonight just to be safe. In front a HeroHero appeared a cascade of menus, completely sheathing his seated form in walls of text and images of chibi slimes wearing generic class-based equipment. "Well, let's see what classes I can get now."
The conversation lulled for a few seconds, silence descended upon the duo only to be interrupted by HeroHero letting out an "uwah" in astonishment.
"Uwah~, there's a lot of classes to choose from now. Hmmm." HeroHero's tentacle slithered up to where his chin should be, clearly in thought. "Hey Momonga, what should I go for? I was thinking of testing out how the Devs changed [Cook] to see if it's actually useful but I also want to try for some more slime racials….pick for me will you, too lazy to pick for myself." Overcome with the sheer amount of choice, the stubby slime appealed to his very much less cute skeletal friend for help in his trying times.
"Eh? I dunno man, choose whatever you want to, I'm not going to backseat game even if you want me to. Personally, I'm going to choose [Fighter] so I can unlock the [Dark Knight] class and then the [Reaper] line of classes. Then after that I'll take a bunch of [Summoner] and [Necromancer] classes to further buff myself and my summons. Hell, I might even try for [Dracolich] if it's one of the tournament exclusive races. If I do then nothing could stand against me and my hordes of undead! I will become the ultimate [Necromancer] in all of YGGDRASIL, no one can match my mastery over death!" Momonga thrust his fist in the air in an incredibly childlike display of fervor.
"Okay, calm down there, Ulbert. Guess I'll go for [Cook] considering how any gear I eat is flagged as a food item. I hope I get some sort of buff from consuming gear or even enemies and whatnot." HeroHero's tar-like surface was encompassed in a blinding blue light, followed by a small tooting of trumpet fanfare.
*ping* [HeroHero] has taken the [Cook] class
*ping* [HeroHero] has reached level [10] in the [Cook] class
"5 levels short of mastery. Right then, for now, our goal is to grind our classes and eventually reach max level, maybe win some tournaments in the process." HeroHero's pulsating body relinquished its grasp on the chair as he slowly bumbled towards Momonga, HeroHero didn't even match half of Momonga's seated height, he looked like a small child huddled next to their parental figure.
"Fine, fine, that goal is reasonable at least for now but we don't even have a grind spot decided yet. Are you planning on just aimlessly wandering around Helheim or what? We'd be easy targets for PKers you know?" The Overlord followed the lead of his slime friend, opening up his class change menu and choosing his desired class.
The threat of PKers was a very real concern. This is especially true as both Momonga and HeroHero (along with their guild-mates) are some of the most notorious players in all of YGGDRASIL, so much so that the entire guild of Ainz Ooal Gown was marked as either "kill on sight" or "run on sight" if you even slightly doubted your chances. This was only worsened after a certain Chuunibyou goat-man got drunk with his friends and completely destroyed Asgard and then nearly wiped out half of Múspellsheim, earning the entire guild the ire of the Asgard and Múspellsheim player-bases just by association.
*ping* [Momonga] has taken the [Fighter] class
*ping* [Momonga has mastered the [Fighter] class, unlocking the [Wrath] skill
"True but playing cautiously can only get us so far, we may as well explore for old times sake. Besides, It's better than just grinding for Nazarick's upkeep all the time. Oh yeah," HeroHero contorted his 'head' around, glancing over the room "Thank you very much for keeping Nazarick in such good shape while I've been gone Momonga, you must have been keeping the base preserved so we could come back at any time, right? It's a shame we're the only two here though, I hope some of the others come back though, even if it is just to say hello." They both observed the 39 vacant seats that surrounded the giant table, neither had to say what they were hoping for they both already knew each other's feelings on the matter.
"Of course I'd work to keep Nazarick preserved. We built this place together, it's a testament to the glory of our guild and of our friendship!...And well...I am the Guildmaster so it's also my job, it's not like I've much else to do nowadays anyways….Well let's go grind like old times then we'll explore once we're high enough level to survive the high level areas by ourselves."
"...Actually Momonga, there is something I just remembered that I've been wanting to show you for a while."
"Hm? Well, uh, go ahead then."
"Follow me. Peroroncino showed me this super secret exploit we can do." HeroHero grabbed Momonga with his sticky hand, leading him out of the conference into the labyrinthine yet still regal halls of Nazarick's 9th floor.
"Peroroncino showed you an exploit, so either this is going to be incredibly perverted or massively game breaking in which we have a massive advantage against other players. Pray tell, which is it?"
It didn't take a genius to figure out Peroroncino's personality, he was either the super degenerate perverted NEET like he was in the real world or he was the incredibly bloodthirsty and power hungry birdman that he tried to role-play as in YGGDRASIL. Peroroncino was an incredibly predictable guy yet he became somewhat of a mascot for the guild to rally behind and talk to when they were feeling down...or horny, he's always had some great suggestions for them.
"That's a secret. Just follow me, it's only a quick exploit as well...And truth be told I need a witness in case things go bad and I get banned. Think of this as purely for science."
"Ooooh so you just wanted to verify if the bug works or not and so I'm here to testify that this was purely for science and had no other motives?"
"Yep, now follow me, I need Solution for this to work… AH! A-at least that's what Peroroncino told me...haha, I've never tried this before…."
Somethings up with HeroHero.
"...Right...Lead the way then i guess" *Suspicious emoji*
One arduous search for Solution later.
"Ah, there she is! We really have forgotten the way, huh?" HeroHero rushed towards his creation who was idly roaming the hallways of the 9th floor, flanked by her sisters: the "Wolf Queen", Lupusregina Beta and "Best Bug-Maid", Entoma Vasilissa Zeta.
"Well, we never really had a need to walk around Nazarick considering how our rings let us teleport around the place instantly. So, what's this exploit Pero told you about then?"
"First off, tell me. What do you notice about Solution?" He pointed towards his creation.
"What? I don't know, she looks the same as ever. You haven't fiddled with her since the last time you came on a year and a half ago so I don't really know what you're asking of me."
"Come on Momonga. What is the first thing you notice about her? Pretend this is the first time you're seeing her, what immediately catches your eyes?"
"W-well, her chest is rather impressive so...her b-b-breast I-I would say…"
"Congratulations! You're correct! I really have to hand it to Whitebrim, he really out did himself with designing her, the commission was well worth skipping to pay that month's rent."
A month's worth of rent? Come on man, I know she's hot but you need priorities...
"So what does this exploit have to do with Solutions...chest?" Momonga was completely lost at this point although now he was slightly worried about HeroHero's intentions.
"Ah, right then. So, you see, Peroroncino said that when a slime NPC is morphed in a humanoid form, the humanoid form's head is flagged as the slime's head, as it should be, right? However, the humanoid body itself is bugged to hell and back and, therefore is not flagged as a humanoid body-plan as well as other neat things. Thus a slime NPC that is in a humanoid form has the majority of their body being flagged as a slime body-plan."
"...Okay that sounds like useless information at best or a straight up lie at worst. Why are we here then?" *Question-mark emoji*
"Because, I want to test the validity of Peroroncino's claims for myself and then report it to the Devs. Who knows what kind of special thank-you item I'll get from reporting the bug if it turns out to be legit?"
"And how exactly are you going to test out if this is true though? I'm pretty lost."
"Oh, it's an easily conducted check, really. I'm just going to quickly grope Solution's chest and see if I get banned as a result."
"Umu, I see- WHAT. HeroHero, w-what the...Is that really necessary? You could get banned from doing this - you couldn't even make a new character to continue playing. It's not worth the risk!"
"That's why you're here, dummy. I need you to testify that I'm doing this as a form of vigilante bug-testing. This is purely for science and potential monetary gain. I'll make it a simple boop and be done with it."
"Just a boop and nothing more. I don't want you molesting the NPCs even if you don't get banned."
"Just a boop and nothing more. Trust me Momonga I'm not that desperate to touch a girl's chest or anything, nope, not at all…..."
I REALLY want to trust you HeroHero but damn, this is entirely something Pero would be saying to justify being a huge perv!
"Fine, let's just please get this over with, okay? Pero is a really bad influence so you shouldn't spend too much time with him because you'll become a degenerate…..I fear he might have corrupted you already though."
"Well, in that case, you must be a huge degenerate like him then considering how close you two were. Actually….. I think I remember Peroroncino telling me about some of the 'manga' you two used to read together annnnnnd….yikes man, you're into some dark stuff, I never would have thought you were into- ."
"A-AH, NO! We've NEVER read 'm-m-manga' together at all!...He was lying to you! Nope, not true at all...ha...ha. C-can you hurry up please, I want to go out and grind."
That bastard Pero, he said he'd keep it a secret!
"...Ok, if you say so. Well I'm going to grab her now so you just sit back and watch, I guess."
HeroHero tentatively extended his tentacle towards Solution's chest, delivering a small *boop* before immediately retracting back into the main black mass.
"..."
A few seconds went by and HeroHero was still in Nazarick, alive and well.
"Nice, I'm not banned."
"Great, now hurry up and file the bug report please. I would like to forget we ever tried this."
"Not so fast there Momonga! We need to make sure contact was actually registered so I need to touch her once more."
"...Really man? You said you'd only do it once though! Are you sure you're not just doing this for your own perverted needs?"
"Come on Momonga you know how shitty the hit detection is in YGGDRASIL! I swear I will only do it once more."
"You swear?"
"Indeed my friend, I'm not like Peroroncino, I'd never degrade my own custom NPC to be little more than glorified wank-fodder! Never…"
*long sigh* "Hurry up then."
Once more, HeroHero reached out his tentacle to grope Solution's chest. However this time round, he did so with much more eagerness, so much so, instead of a simple *boop* as promised, HeroHero's tentacle latched onto the entirety of Solutions chest, bubbling and writhing with great zeal.
"WHA-WHAT THE HELL! You said a boop! This is clearly not what a boop is!" Frantically, Momonga flailed his arms around in a blind panic, briefly slamming his own hands into Lupusregina's chest, causing an "OH SHIT" to not so quietly leak out of Momonga's mouth.
Fortunately, YGGDRASIL was not too strict on banning accidental sexually suggestive contact with NPCs so Momonga should be safe so long as he waited for the hidden timer to expire without groping anything.
"Calm down Momonga, I'm just checking that YGGDRASIL can detect what I'm doing, I don't want to get banned for making a fraudulent bug-report like Luci Fer did! He didn't shut up for weeks about that." Even more intense groping ensued.
"...I think that's enough now, HeroHero...You should probably stop. I'm pretty sure YGGDRASIL is detecting your touches considering..."
"Hehe *bouncy bouncy*. Hey Momonga, do you want to give it a whirl? Y'know, uuuuhhh...make sure the bug is not just limited to one player and all that….who knows, um...maybe the glitch doesn't register my tentacle as a hand so er… that's why I'm not getting banned? We should further look into this! For science!"
"GOD DAMN IT HERO! File the damn report already and stop molesting the NPC! Who would have known that Pero's corruption would make you like this!?"
"Come on, Momonga, I know a virgin like you is dying to touch a woman like this so why not give it a spin while you can? In fact, I remember when we all met up irl, you got really drunk and started telling Beast King how much you wanted to screw Lupusregina, now's your chance to at least get some of the way there."
"THAT NEVER HAPPENED! Do you want me to get banned? I'm pretty sure you can only grope Solution because of the bug! Good God HeroHero, it feels like I'm talking to a much smaller and more slimy Peroroncino. I'm not going to grope the NPCs no matter what you say or do. So just please let us be done with this...thing and forget this ever happened."
"Alright, your loss then. Good to know that the only thing stopping is the prospect of getting banned. So, in other words, you do want to and you would if you could….Good to know…." HeroHero continued to grope his creation, showing no signs of stopping.
"…"
HeroHero was still groping her chest.
"…"
He just kept on groping.
"…"
He really enjoys it, it seems, even though we barely have a sense of touch in YGGDRASIL
"…"
"..." Momonga was speechless.
Pero must have really gone hard on converting HeroHero to the dark side if he's acting like this, shame on you Pero! You've Made the innocent HeroHero a complete perv! I'll never forgive you!...Thinking about it...why the hell is this even a bug in the first place? Surely someone would have reported this to the Devs, right?...Well, considering the groups of people Pero associated with, I doubt they'd let this information leak to the "no-fun police" but still, was every other player too cowardly to even try?
"…"
He's not getting bored of this.
"…"
Things are getting even more awkward now.
"...Alright, I think I should be in the clear now." Solutions chest, after a good few minutes was finally released from HeroHero's death-grip. Her chest was left slightly bouncing in the process of the tentacles' removal.
"Say...Momonga...does Solution look a bit different to you?" HeroHero extended his neck and meticulously inspected Solution's facial features.
"What?..." He carefully examined her and saw nothing that was off about her appearance. "Not really why?"
"Oh well it's just her eyes look a bit...well strange and her cheeks seem a little odd…."
"Hasn't she always had those rape-eyes though? Her cheeks look the same as always to me. You're probably shifting your own embarrassment or…'other' feelings onto her. Now, can we please go out on and level up our Classes, I do want to be max level before YGGDRASIL ends, you know? We've been here for waaaay too long doing absolutely nothing of value."
"Yeah sure let's go grind then…." With a flurry small head-pats to Solutions noggin, the duo backed away from the battle-maids and made their way to leave.
Oops, almost forgot the bug report….eh, I'll do it after we're done grinding….unless I "conveniently" forget to do that...hehehe…
With the matter of what to do being settled, both Momonga and HeroHero activated their [Rings of Ainz Ooal Gown] and appeared on the surface of Nazarick to be greeted by the ever-present purple haze and gurglings of the swamp of Helheim.
"Alright then Momonga let's go."
"You're not going to equip anything first? Isn't that really damn risky considering Helheim has always been PKer hell?" Momonga tilted his head in confusion over his companions lack of clothing and weapons.
"Eh, most of it doesn't even appear on my avatar due to the Devs giving up on modeling most armors for a slime body so you just can't see it." HeroHero fiddled with his UI for a few seconds and then let out a "I'm ready now!"
A thin white headband appeared over his 'head' while HeroHero's tentacle morphed into what was a poor attempt at a 'thumbs up'.
"Onwards!" They both exclaimed, stepping out into the hellscape of Helheim. With that said, the duo step out into the dismal swamps of Helheim, looking for monsters to murder for exp.
A few days of grinding later, Sunken ruin, Swamps of Helheim
Choke points and lots of enemies, that's all the ruins in Helheim were. Oh, that and the fact they were always filled with the highest level undead, all of which could massacre player equipment via abilities. Not only that, the ruins were always filled with gimmick traps including ; teleportals, infinite enemies spawners, pitfalls, instant death lava, a bunch of strong enemies in one corridor, etc. No one enjoyed grinding them yet despite that, HeroHero decided that it'd be a swell idea to do just that. So now, Momonga and HeroHero are currently in one of the highest level ruines as well as one of the longest, most choke pointy and undead infested dungeons in all YGGDRASIL, it's not even that the drops were any good, HeroHero just wanted to explore them because "They look cool".
"Fwaaah, this is taking way too long! HeroHero why did you suggest this dungeon? We're gonna need a full party if we want to rush through this whole thing! We could have at least asked Touch to join us!" A very exasperated Momonga lazily marched through the sea of corpses left behind by HeroHero who was mowing down every single trash mob in the dungeon.
"It hasn't really been that long, it's only been just shy of only half an hour or so! Besides, this is the 9th floor of 12, we may as well keep going for the first time clear bonus. You know that Touch would decline us anyway, he's too busy grinding himself up."
Momonga flicked his crimson staff, instantly bathing 50 or so level 75+ undead in a sea of red blaze.
"12 floors? REALLY!? That's more than Nazarick for God's sake! Shitty Devs, why do they always have to make dungeons like this?"
"Haha, this is nothing Momonga. Remember that Touch Me told us there's this 100 floor underground tower that literally took days to fully clear with more than 6 parties attending the raid? I checked the forums and it's true, apparently it's in the Niflheim mountains."
"People were in there for d-days!? Like, it's real? Real, real? Do the Devs want people to die from exhaustion!? How the hell do you clear 100 floors…."
"What's more is that it was technically a one attempt clear because the group had at least one person from the raiding group present in the dungeon at any one time! The forums didn't say what exactly they got from the raid but considering the difficulty of one-shotting a level 100 dungeon that has 100 floors, it must be huge."
"Ah, of course it's level 100 as well, why wouldn't it be max level? Fwaaah the Devs really hate us, huh? So, who were the mad men that did the raid then?"
"Uuuummm….." He paused for a moment while crushing the skulls of nearby [Beholders] with his fists. "Oh yeah, some of the guys from [Trinity] and the [GreenSkinsOnlyClub] teamed up with some of the top mercenary guilds or something, didn't really say too much about the guys who actually conducted the whole raid."
"Great, so we don't even know the majority of who we need to look out for, this is just wonderful," *smack* an [Eternal Death] exploded into giblets "Although, the GreenSkins being their doesn't surprise me, their all monsters. I really don't like the idea of those Orc and Goblin guys getting any stronger though, especially not their Guild-master."
"Huh?" *many smacks* Many more undead fell to the floor. "Their guildmaster? I've only heard about him from Ulbert who said he was one the best role-players in all of YGGDRASIL. Is he strong on top of that then?"
"Strong? Nah that's too light of a word. Basically think of him as the Orc version of Touch, at least skills-wise. His build is disgusting, he dumped all of his stats into Physical attack and agility. All of his other stats are below 30 but the two he sunk his time into are waaaay above max, something crazy like 130. He's the definition of a berserker, he's an actual nuke. Sadly, despite his talents, the guy just loves larping as an Orc so he's pretty dumb in game. Hell, he even got his entire guild to role-play like the Orcs and Goblins from….um….'manga' to make things more immersive for himself."
"Huh? How come I haven't heard of him if he's like Touch and has those monster stats? And he's the reason why GreenSkins is filled with NTR loving degenerates then, how lovely. Never would have thought that the pretentious asshats over at [Trinity] would actually team up with a non-angel or human based guild." Countless undead exploded as Momonga's staff shot out an explosion AOE spell, whirling past HeroHero's head, causing his words to sound slightly muffled.
"You don't know his strength because he didn't play very often back in the day where you were a heavy forum user. He was only really active back before 5.0 so…" It took awhile for Momonga to do the mental maths. "That's around the time you took a break...5 years ago, I think. I only know how broken his build is because we used to talk briefly about making our guild weapons and how they made our build stronger."
The two finally reached the end of the 9th floor, easily destroying the [Death Tyrant] boss monster in only two of HeroHero's punches and a single [Magic Arrow] from Momonga. Behind the boss was a simple wooden staircase, presumably leading down into the next floor of the ruins.
"He just told you about his build? Isn't that really dangerous?"
"Well, he is always role-playing as a dumb Orc who punches things even if their his guild-mates...or walls...or [World Enemies] that are out in the field, so yeah it was pretty easy to get info from him." Momonga started to walk down the stairs to the next floor.
"Hey, shouldn't we gather up this floor's loot before heading down?"
"Oooh yeah….Fine, let's get it over with then. I want to get out of this place as soon as we can."
A few minutes of sifting through trash gear later
"Hey Momonga! There's finally something you can use!" From atop a mountain of garbage magical weapons, HeroHero procured an elaborate metallic staff from his insides. The main body of the staff itself was gnarled and twisted as if it was mauled by a monster. Gold engravings of alien characters lined the entirety of the staff aside from the small bowl-like protrusion at the very top. Floating slightly above the bowl was a sickly green orb, occasionally small black tentacles would squirm within the orb or even break out for a moment. It wasn't a very pretty thing but stats mean everything at this point in the game.
"Stats?"
"Uuuuummmm…..Let's see [Germinating Embryo of the Old Ones]...ew Oh! It's at least better than what you're using now, lots of +150 and +200 on it…. Ah but - 75% health isn't good... and a - 20% HP drain per spell cast isn't good either….But it's got a hefty life steal of 120% on it so that's pretty good!"
"Whatever, I'll use it as a dungeon clearer then, nothing here can really do more than a few % of health to me anyway. As long as I can hit whatever I aim at then it's not a problem."
"If you say so but don't go dying on me before we even get to the boss! You know how much shit Nishikienrai got for dying mid way through dungeon runs!" The staff was flung from HeroHero's grasp, clanking on the floor next to Momonga.
"Right, I believe we should have cleared out all the loot, let's go to the next floor!"
Long, boring dungeon clearing ensues
After an eternity, the party finally reached the lowest level of the ruins and what awaited them was the final "fuck you" from whoever made this dungeon. Tarrasques. Plural. Three to be exact, all cramped up in a tiny, narrow corridor of a floor. The tarrasques were enormous abominations, roughly the size of an ancient dragon, with two long horns extending from its forehead, a thick carapace, mighty tail, and a wide, toothy mouth. The tarrasques only had two small eyes, but they do not rely on these for the primary of seeing, no, that would be too easy, in the case of an attack crippling the eyes, the tarrasques were also equipped with [Darkvision] and the slime families [Area Sense] skill. So if blinded or if their eyes were removed, they were effectively unhindered by such means of attack, in fact, an attack that targets the eyes results in the tarrasque having a maxed out [Hate] meter for the attacker. Each tarrasque was also impossible to frighten or charm and had resistances to every kind of damage imaginable apart from slightly lowered resistances to magical weapons. What made tarrasques hard to fight was not their disgustingly high strength nor constitution, it was their god like HP pools (which rivaled the low level [World Enemies]) and abilities. Their single racial skill was a hard 75% damage reduction from all sources and a 100% damage reduction from all non magical sources with no way to debuff or pierce the resistances. What's more is that three times a day, a tarrasque could survive a normally fatal blow and fully heal as well as gain complete immunity to whatever damage source caused the ability to trigger. Each tarrasque was effectively three in one already...There are three tarrasques so all in all, this is a fight with 9 phases. There they were, three hulking brownish monsters of nigh-unparalleled destruction that ate max level players for breakfast. Monster that were drunk on the devastation they caused, each would also keep getting stronger as the fight went on, a hidden ability that many a player complained to the Devs about for removal. The Devs response? "Just avoid them". Three of these things, in the one tiny little corridor with no way of avoiding or cheesing the fight.
"Is this some sort of sick joke? Did Ulbert and Luci Fer make this damn place!? We're fucked!" Momonga was clearly not too happy about this whole ordeal.
"Language! Just calm down, as long as we spam them with magic and avoid fire, we're a-ok...I hope. I'll at least try to engage in melee combat! Just prepare for a really long fight!
One full hour fight later
The last Tarrasque was finally dead, Momonga's two[Grim Reaper Thanatos] that he spawned from the 2 other Tarrasques plunged their weapons deep into the Tarrasque's skull, killing it for good.
...
"HeroHero...we are never running this dungeon ever again. No matter what you say, we are never even coming close to this place ever again."
"Was it really that bad though?"
"Hero, we just fought three Tarrasques at once in a tiny corridor. Why the hell would I ever come back to this place? I had to use all of my mana four times and nearly died four times because you kept blocking my view with your fat slime ass."
"I blocked your view? I could barely see with all those damn spells you kept casting. I'm only like a meter and a half tall, you're blind! And fours times? I've died SIX times already! I have ZERO Cashshop items left to revive without a penalty, if we get ganked by Pkers we are as good as dead."
The tarrasques don't even drop anything after death either...including exp because their [Trap Monsters]...
...
*ping* You have [One] unread message in you inbox
"..."
"..."
Both were stunned.
"Could it be…?"
Momonga opened up his inbox.
TO : [Momonga]
Congratulations [Momonga] for clearing the level [95+] dungeon [Hell's walkway] in one attempt with a party size of [2] members. In recognition of your achievement you have been granted the following [World Item] : [Mask of Nyarlathotep].
In addition you and your party have been given a permanent [+15%] to [Physical Attack] and [Physical Defence].
FROM : YGGDRASIL DEV TEAM
"..."
"..."
"That's pretty garbage actually. Not even the [World Item] drops are good in this damn place! The mask is garbage! WHY ARE WE HERE!"
"…"
*ping*[touch_me52479] has sent you a skeeype message
"S'cuse me for a sec Momonga, I need to check it , you chill out in the meantime!"
*ping* [HeroHero] has gone [AFK]
"..."
Ten minutes later
"Ooooh, he's coming on now! The old man is finally coming back!"
"Wha-"
*ping* [Touch Me] has logged on
*ping* [Touch Me] has sent you a message
The message simply read:
Don't talk to me. I'm solo grinding.
That was the entire message.
"What did the message say? Is he going to join us grinding or something?" HeroHero was confused as to why Touch didn't message him considering how he had literally just messaged him a few minutes ago.
"No, in fact, he says he's going to solo grind..."
"But...didn't he give you all his gear? He doesn't even have a ring anymore so he can't teleport around. Is he really going to, not only run through all of Nazarick naked but then run around Helheim and solo grind for exp? He's gone insane in his old age, did he forget to take his meds? We should rangle the naked old man before it's too late. You're the guild-master so you should probably go into the treasury and give him his gear and ring, right?"
"Well, if it's what Touch wants to do then we can't really stop him though. He could still probably beat us even while being naked considering how disgustingly good his classes and reflexes are. Although, we really need to give him his ring though in case he gets in a pinch and needs to run away."
"Fine, he's going to die a lot though even if he is super OP. Shouldn't you just leave a pile of guild-rings in the conference room in case anyone does the same thing Touch does?So, what're we going to do now then, watch TouchMe's level plummet through the mirror you have back in Nazarick or are we going to ignore the lost and crazy old man and keep grinding?"
"I think we should keep grinding, if [World Items] are this easy to get we need to secure as many as we can before the other guilds do. I'm sure Touch will be fine considering his skills and most players don't know what his avatar looks like so as long as he stays in dead zones he'll be fine."
"Agreed, well then Momonga, where to next?"
Many more days of grinding later, Mountains of Helheim
The mountains of Helheim, generally referred to as either "The basilisk hole" or "HolyShitThat'sALotOfKobolds the area" (However, the Devs and the asset store they bought the mountain range from called the location "Generic mountain top scene no.12"). As the player-given name implies, the mountains of Helheim were filled to the brim with high level basilisks and the many subspecies of Kobolds. Due to disgustingly high levels of the basilisks, the basilisk heavy areas are referred to as honorary "dead zones" as the level 90+ [Basilisk Brood-mothers] can completely bypass petrification and poison immunities. Needless to say, the mountains were not a very popular spot for most players to venture into, however, HeroHero and Momonga are not most players. Amongst the mountop's snow was hundreds of bodies that littered the battered mountain path, Basilisks, Chimeras, Dragons and countless other monsters were slaughtered by the duo, some were sizzling and covered in viscous black ooze, others were little more than shambling corpses, lazily moping around and attacking anything in sight. Further up the path towards the mountain's summit a duo of Heteromorphs were eviscerating everything that came into their path. Cutting gales of wind, bolts of roaring electricity, plumes of fire and the occasional eruption of black fluids carved a way for the duo to continue their slaughter through the hordes of encroaching enemies. Finally, the duo reached the summit, leaving behind an impressive trail of destruction leading up to the summit. There they met the boss of the dungeon, the [Ancient Steel Dragon]. The Steel drake was clad head to toe in glistening steely scales, each scale sharpened to an unbelievable edge, giving the Drake the appearance of an amalgam of different weapons come to life. It's tail lashed to and fro, extending up to a maximum of 8 metres from the main body, the tip of the tail dribbled a slick, red mucus, poison. Despite the drake's fearsome scales and deadly tail, the main body was stout and rather fat in appearance, rolls of fat were clearly visible from underneath the metallic surface and the Drake's wings were noticeably atrophied as well. The legs could barely keep the dragon from crashing down onto the floor, clearly straining to even move. It was a pathetic dragon but it was still a dragon so caution was a must….unless you're two level 140+ vetern players that is.
"Hey, HeroHero...ain't that th-" HeroHero cut off his friend
"Yeah it is. It's the beta design for [Steel Dragons], the one with the disgusting summon skill that can completely shut down a party's backliners." He sighed. "We don't need you to use [Wrymslayer] after all, I thought it would have been a [Prismic Force Dragon] or something actually hard for two players. We're going to be fine due to our inflated levels but still, watch out for it's breath attack, it still might be nasty!" Both party members entered a basic formation, the tank a good few metres ahead of the backliner inorder to intercept any stray blows while dealing damage to the boss.
"GROOoooh."
Narrow fractures in the floor splintered around the fat dragon as it strained to raise itself to full height, letting out a pathetic moaning sound, presumably it's roar. Even more cracks appeared with each of the drakes' heavy footsteps in it's pursuit of HeroHero. After a pitifully long time, the drake finally slammed itself into HeroHero who caught the dragon's attack, not moving an inch from the impact. And then HeroHero contorted his body around the drake's face, preparing to suffocate the dragon….if YGGDRASIL actually had such a system. Instead, HeroHero discharged his corrosive fluids into the dragon's face, coating it in black, acidic muck. His simple attack immediately caused the dragon's HP to plummet. Rather than trying to loosen HeroHero off from it's face, the dragon kept barreling towards Momonga only for HeroHero to interrupt it's charge with a lash towards the legs, generating enough force to make them buckle and snap.
"Get those buffs and debuffs going Momonga! It's going to pop it's summoning skill!" The small slime ordered his much larger compatriot.
As if one cue, the dragon backed away from HeroHero who relinquished his hold from it's face. Rearing up (with great effort) the dragon unleashed one of it's skills [Invoke Dragon - Steel Kobold]. While the dragon recovered from the arduous task of rearing up, the summit's innards were ejected as hundreds of [Steel Kobolds] dug their way out from the summits gullet, they looked little more than anthropomorphic, grey lizards, not a scrap of clothing or weapons in sight. The only notable part about the Kobolds were their steel grey scales which were slightly pointed, needless to say they were not a threat to two level 140+ players.
…
It could barely be called a fight, the slime [Puffed up] and engorged itself on the dragon's summons, wiping them out instantly in his acidic mass as it danced around the fat dragon's frame. On the other hand, the skeleton was stock still at the very rim of the summit while it spammed every buff imaginable on both itself and the already formidable slime. Each and every buff that the skeleton casted, another debilitating debuff was applied to the already near-crippled [Ancient Steel Dragon]. They were bullying the dragon.
*ping* [Ancient Steel Dragon] is at 75% HP
As the drake's health reached 75%, it's fatty maw widened as the [Bladed Breath] breath weapon was unleashed, the scales covering the drake's body converged within the dragon's mouth before being launched towards the party. In an instant, HeroHero was swallowed in a typhoon of clattering steel scales. Hundreds of steel-like scales raked into its opponents only doing 90 points of damage to HeroHero who shielded Momonga by literally becoming a wall of acid and consuming the scales as soon as they made contact. Another 20% of the drake's total health was drained with only a few playful smacks by the slime, leaving behind remnants of it's tar-like body on the dragon's already smoldering, acid scarred body. Each globblet sank into the exposed flesh, pulsing and gnawing away at the tender innards of the beast, leaving a blackish muck to dribble down the dragon's body.
"Ah, Momonga, Phase 3 time! It's gonna summon those [Steel Kobolds] from the Beta!" The slime shouted at the skeleton in between it's strikes while the skeleton began chanting.
*ping* [Ancient Steel Dragon] is at 50% HP
It only took one more of the slime's acid laced punches to lower the dragon's HP to 50%, causing the charging of the final trump card: [Mass Invoke Dragon - Elite Steel Kobold] coupled with [True Renewal]. With it's lowered HP, the lumbering dragon let loose a blood curdling shriek, hundreds of heavily armored [Steel Kobolds] swarmed towards the summit to face the duo. More and more Kobolds popped into existence around the drake, some even falling off the rim of the summit due to the sheer magnitude of the summoning.
*ping* [Ancient Steel Dragon] has fully recovered
"[Triplet Maximize Magic - Vermillion Nova]!" Three blistering plumes of emerald tinged fire erupted from Momonga's Lovecraftian staff, immediately wiping out the boss's summons - blanketing the entire boss-arena in scorching waves of heat. Small worm-like tendrils were squirming around on the floor, boring into the charred Kobolds. Damn this staff is freaky.
"Hey Momonga, it's hard to see the boss when you do that, you know?" HeroHero grumbled softly as he used [Puff up] in tandem with [Phagocytosis] in order to inflate his body in a bid to swallow the boss whole, HeroHero heaved as he engulfed the [Ancient Steel Dragon]. Once the boss was adequately smothered by the corrosive bulk of HeroHero as he sent out a *Smiley-Face emoji*.
"Sorry, man, I'll be careful next time with my spells! Hey let me kill this one will you? I need to catch up to you!" *Sweating emoji*
Screeching erupted from the dissolving dragon as it flailed around, smashing nearby boulders into dust, it's tail slamming into the floor which caused enormous fissures to form as well as launching several dying minions off the mountain's summit but all was for nought . The howls of pain escalated as the entire draconic body was coated in more of HeroHero's waxy frame, it's health plummeting as it was consumed by it's black, slimy captor. Eventually, the rabid flailing ceased as the boss' health finally reached a critical point, leaving the boss twitching in a puddle of (pg 13) gore while HeroHero refused to relinquish his stranglehold.
"Alright Momonga, you should be able to kill it now! Once this thing dies, I'll use my racial skill [Lingering Torment - Release -] to kill all the enemies lower down which are affected by my slime! We'll get a bunch of levels if this works...probably. I only read about this exploit on some shady site so it might not work but it's worth a try!" A portion of the slimy surface flung itself off the [Ancient Steel Dragon], towards Momonga. This pulling of the tar left the dragon in a disfigured heap, wounds now sizzling.
"[Triplet Maximize Magic - Call Greater Thunder]" Jet black rain clouds formed over the dying dragon and unleashed bolts of crackling emerald lightning which plunged into the weakened skin of the dragon. Electricity wrecked the dragon's body, shredded by the bolts from the clouds, electrifying every inch of its body. With one final groan, the [Ancient Steel Dragon] died...followed by countless explosions of gold coins that formed piles all the way down the mountain path.
"Well would you look at that, a shady forum site was right for once." Triumphant in the fact now he has a dedicated grinding spot and method, HeroHero gave himself a slimy pat on the back.
*ping* [Momonga] has mastered the [Armored Mage - Heavy], unlocking the [Armored channeling] ability
"God damn, HeroHero i never thought [Cook] would ever be a good class but you sure showed me...haha…..uuuuuugh...Three hours….THREE damn hours that took! Well I'm level 140 now so that's good but that took way too long to do. It's almost as if the Devs don't want us to level up to the new max!" Momonga sighed, sifting through the coins.
"I know, sorry for poaching so many of your kills but I just wanted to level up [Assassin] and [Primal Ooze]. I'll make it up to you though, you can finish off all the enemies we encounter on the next run then. I want to hit level 150 by Monday but I can afford to give you most of my kills for now." With a slight bow, HeroHero wiggled his chubby tentacle up to the Overlord of Death's head, giving him a head pat.
"Next run? It's midnight man and we've done almost every Helheim dungeon in less than two weeks! I thought you said you were only going to grind for a few hours each day, it's been 8 hours already! You really have changed after becoming unemployed, you're machine." The slimy head pats were denied by the skeleton
"Yeah I did say that, huh? But I've gotten good at ignoring fatigue over the years, so I can keep myself going for another hour or so and, like I said before, I don't have anything to do now that I'm free so i can sleep anytime i want."
"Well, take care man. I'm going to log off for today because unlike you, I've got a job to go to in the morning. Goodnight, I'll be on tomorrow. Just please keep track of your health, bad sleep schedules are horrendous for you, remember what happened to Tabula after he started working night shifts? He basically went insane and rewrote every NPC in all of Nazarick!" With that said Momonga pressed the log out option on his UI which began the 5 second log out process.
"Ah, goodnight then Momonga, I'll play with you tomorrow then as well."
Momonga then vanished from sight, leaving the Black ooze all by himself on the mountain's summit.
"He didn't even stay to check for loot…." *Sad-face emoji*
"Well, time to rerun this dungeon then then it's bedtime." HeroHero shambled his way over across the slowly fading [Ancient Steel Dragon] corpse towards the [Teleportal] to reappear in a fresh instance of the dungeon.
The dungeon run was much the same as all previous runs, simply slap any mobs that get too close while making a b-line towards the summit to kill the [Ancient Steel Dragon]. It was a simple and effective plan, but unlike all previous dungeon runs, HeroHero was alone, not like this was a problem per se but HeroHero did feel pretty damn lonely.
And so, HeroHero's blobby body blitzed past the vast majority of mobs, occasionally slapping a few dragons to inflict them with [Lingering Torment] ability, the mobs would spread his ooze amongst themselves so personally afflicting them was only a waste of time. He even smashed through a few [Kobold] outposts instead of fighting them one by one just to get to the top faster. In only 12 minutes, HeroHero had slaughtered the local [Kobold] population, inflicted more than 250 monsters with his abilities, reached the top of the mountain path and plundered the nests of 8 [Steel Dragons], grossing him a fair sum of gold and trash magical items to be used as crafting fodder.
Finally, the blob met the fat dragon once again. Much like the previous dungeon runs, as soon as the boss attacked HeroHero, it's body was coated in viscous tarry dribble and slowly melted away while HeroHero rolled around on the floor, bored. This process repeated, the dragon died...over and over and over again for many more hours until….HeroHero finally got the notification he was waiting for.
*ping* You have [One] unread message in your inbox
"Hmmm…? A message from the devs! Ah..it's probably gonna be an auto log-out alert…." A few seconds went by and nothing happened….
"Are they going to auto-log me out now?...I have been on for way too long after all and it's waaaay past my bedtime. Well I guess I should check just in case it is what I'm hoping it to be."
TO : [HeroHero]
Congratulations [HeroHero] for [Solo Clearing] the level [90+] dungeon [Steel Bastion of Dragonkind] in one attempt under the time limit of [15 minutes]. In recognition of your achievement you have been granted the following [World Item] : [Milk of Shub-Niggurath].
Note: This is a transformative item and is therefore a one-use only item.
In addition, you have been granted : [Invoke Dragon - Ancient Steel Dragon (Beta)] and [Mass Invoke Dragon - Steel Kobold (Beta)]
FROM : YGGDRASIL DEV TEAM
"Finally, after 8 long hours, I finally got a new [World Item] for the guild! Huh, well that's number 13 for the guild's treasury…well...it is a transformative item...NO I should put it in the treasury….unless, I use it for myself, it's not like the guild will benefit from not using it right? No, I couldn't….but what if…..No one would know if I did though….No I can't…...unless." Flecks of slime were sent flying as HeroHero swiveled back and forth, deciding what he should do with the item until he bonked himself on the head in order to clear his mind.
"Damn it! Get it together HeroHero, this is a [World Item] so therefore a unanimous decision must be reached even if it was a direct result of my hard work..." Then, finally, after a lengthy internal discussion, HeroHero slammed his fist into his free hand.
"I'll ask Momonga and Touch Me tomorrow!...Maybe the day after...*yaaaaawn* I stayed up a tad too late…bedtime..." His tentacle gave the logout button a small boop and a few seconds later, a very sleepy HeroHero logged out for the day.
End of Pre New World pt 1
AN: Holy frick, that took a while to write. That was my first attempt at writing fan-fiction so i doubt it's any good but i thought it'd be fun to write an AU story. A few character inconsistencies here and there but oh well, i'll iron them out in later parts. I've already planned out the entire prologue (at least plot wise) and have started writing out part 2 featuring everyone's favorite chuunibyou, Ulbert. It'll take a week or so to write so some stuff might change however, i dunno, i'm not a psychic.
As you can guess, the prologue is going to be entirely focused on a few of the SBs coming back and dicking around with Momonga. Each part will reintroduce a SB (aside from this part which had 2 come back) so this won't just be the Momonga and HeroHero show. Although the SBs that will come back, the cast isn't set in stone as i only really need Ulbert and Touch (maybe) for the plot, everyone else is just an interchangeable side character. I might bring back Pero for some haha funny (I really want to write Pero's scenes but i'll probably be the only one to find them funny) but i also want to write about some of the more niche SBs like Tabula or LuciFer...i should plan things ahead more :(
You might be wondering where i'm going to take this whole thing. Well, um, spoilers my man. I know for certain that once the prologue is over i'll have Momonga assume the form of Momon but other than that it's a secret.
I know not a whole lot actually happened in this chapter but i just wanted to establish a few things for future parts and i wanted a chance to make the SBs even more op than they were. Before you ask, no, the new world will not be completely stomped buuuuut...spoilers...unless i change my plans then oopsie doopsie.
Maybe you should review..haha just a joke...unless you want to...haha jk no you don't have to...but i'd like it...just kidding...unless?
I'll rewrite the early chapters when i have more writing experience.
I'm sorry you had to read this massive AN on top of the fic.
Cya in the next part - Puddle
