PREFACE

In our good Lord's year of 2021, I give you a BBRae fic that I should've started years ago.

I don't want to bombard you with too much information at once, but this story's going to be a bit of a biggie, so if you wish to have all the context and make the most of reading, please do take the time to read this preface to the end!

1. First (and most importantly), though many chapters will be written purely by myself, others later down the line will be a collaboration between RobynKitty (on AO3) and I. I'll be crediting Robyn at the beginning of every collaboration chapter. About 30% of this story is already written (those being the collabs). Expect a slow burn cos I live for the build-up.

2. Whilst there will be action and conflict and villains in this story, please know that this is not a plot-driven story. It is a character-driven one. There is no overarching scheme or bad guy, and action will only account for a limited portion. This story is very much focused on the relationship between Raven and Beast Boy (though all other Titans are still given plenty of screen-time and other platonic relationships will also be explored). Above all else, this is a romance story, so please don't come into it expecting twists and turns… though you can expect a fair dose of drama, mutual pining, and a dollop of angst!

3. Finally, I'll quickly try to sum up the story's context - please read as this is also pretty important!

This takes place post-series, around two months after 'Things Change'. As both Robyn and I disapprove of the characterisations in Trouble in Tokyo, we kind of pretend that movie never happened in our canon. Nonetheless, our story still opens with Robin and Starfire as an established couple, but how they came to be one is entirely up to you. Everything that happened in the official show still happened.

Cyborg is 21, Robin and Starfire are 19, and Beast Boy and Raven are 18. I headcanon that the time from the Titans forming as a team in the episode 'Go!' to the series' end is around three years, meaning Raven would have been 15 when they all met, Robin 16, etc.

(P.S. This story uses British spelling.)

I think that covers everything. Please enjoy!


CHAPTER ONE
ONYX


PREFACE

In our good Lord's year of 2021, I give you a BBRae fic that I should've started years ago.

I don't want to bombard you with too much information at once, but this story's going to be a bit of a biggie, so if you wish to have all the context and make the most of reading, please do take the time to read this preface to the end!

1. First (and most importantly), though many chapters will be written purely by myself, others later down the line will be a collaboration between RobynKitty and I. I'll be crediting Robyn at the beginning of every collaboration chapter. About 30% of this story is already written (those being the collabs). Expect a slow burn cos I live for the build-up.

2. Whilst there will be action and conflict and villains in this story, please know that this is not a plot-driven story. It is a character-driven one. There is no overarching scheme or bad guy, and action will only account for a limited portion. This story is very much focused on the relationship between Raven and Beast Boy (though all other Titans are still given plenty of screen-time and other platonic relationships will also be explored). Above all else, this is a romance story, so please don't come into it expecting twists and turns… though you can expect a fair dose of drama, mutual pining, and a dollop of angst!

3. Finally, I'll quickly try to sum up the story's context - please read as this is also pretty important!

This takes place post-series, around two months after 'Things Change'. As both Robyn and I disapprove of the characterisations in Trouble in Tokyo, we kind of pretend that movie never happened in our canon. Nonetheless, our story still opens with Robin and Starfire as an established couple, but how they came to be one is entirely up to you. Everything that happened in the official show still happened.

Cyborg is 21, Robin and Starfire are 19, and Beast Boy and Raven are 18. I headcanon that the time from the Titans forming as a team in the episode 'Go!' to the series' end is around three years, meaning Raven would have been 15 when they all met, Robin 16, etc.

(P.S. This story uses British spelling.)

I think that covers everything. Please enjoy!


The city didn't rest.

It was a whirring thing, alive and latching to the Californian coast. The streets thrummed and heaved as an amber sun slowly sank between the rooftops, sending its low, striking rays across the pavement like molten gold.

Through the thoroughfare, its dwellers scattered like ants in the haste of their ending day. The middle-aged man strode for the underground with blazer billowing and suitcase in tow. The frantic mother scrambled around another corner, intent for the hospital before visiting hours ended. At the docks the workers packed up, and at the parks the school kids gathered with sodas in their hands and ties loosened at their necks.

Somewhere downtown, the roar of battle shook the ground.

"Cyborg, now!" Robin's strident voice pierced the air. He watched on as that chrome arm lifted from his friend's side, blazing blue light at the end. There was a shrill sound as the weapon ignited, before blasting ahead. It struck down its target across the road, sending the great mass flying through the air and splitting the tarmac as he came crashing down.

Mammoth ground his teeth and pressed a palm to his head as he heaved himself up from the rubble. His hardened stare locked to the robot, face twisting into a scowl, then with a snarl, his knuckles dug into the road and he was lunging forward with a vengeance.

Above them, a flash of purple clashed with white. Angel - a new H.I.V.E. member following the Brotherhood battle - used her broad wings to swoop left, only narrowly dodging the shot of green light thrown from Starfire's fist. The villain looked behind her to see the blast shatter an office window, then turned with a frown and assailed the alien head-on.

From his periphery, Robin kept a sharp watch on the brawl waging in the skies, though his main focus stayed on his own opponent, bending into battle-stance before him. There was See-More, fingers hovering beside his visor and a smile etched beneath it.

"I should've known you'd be back to petty bank-robbing soon enough," the masked Titan jeered as one foot slid back in readiness. See-More gave a well-humoured shrug, looking much too confident for Robin's liking.

"How else we gonna fund the new HQ?"

Robin's mask narrowed.

All members of the H.I.V.E. had been present for the Brotherhood battle, but much to the Titans' chagrin, a fair few had still managed to clamour away in the chaos. Whilst the familiar faces of Gizmo and Billy Numerous were confined to prison bars, those that remained had regrouped, keeping quiet until the time was right.

It was too early to say whether they stayed bound to Brother Blood's rule, or indeed whether the gang had deserted all command to instead pursue their own path of villainy. Neither thought was a comfort, and as of today, the H.I.V.E. had made it quite clear that mischief was still their favoured route to getting what they wanted.

See-More bent forward with a grip on his visor. The lone eye glowed red before sending out a searing beam at its mark. Robin's mask widened, but with lightning reflex he backflipped up the street and out the line of attack. When the ray merely followed, Robin swiftly ducked left, then threw his bird-a-rang See-More's way at a nimble sprint. It missed the crook by an inch, landing upright by his feet. See-More glanced down.

"Ha - bad aim, Bird-Brain!" came the mocking voice; enough to distract from the blinking light of the weapon before it exploded in a ferocious blast. The force hurled See-More off his feet, and Robin watched as the man hit the ground hard and lay groaning amidst the clearing smoke.

Satisfied, he huffed once through his nose, but was quickly rounding at the sound of Raven's yelp from a few metres behind. He turned in time to see her stumble from a well-placed hook to the jaw, but true to her stubborn self, the magus found balance, shook the pain and planted her boots firm into the ground.

Kyd Wykkd wordlessly stared her down, giving the hand with which he'd struck her a small shake. Raven felt magic gather at her palms, then was sending a missile of black power straight at his torso. It would have been a perfect shot, had the criminal not vanished from sight with a sweep of his cape.

Raven straightened, alert, then let her head bow and eyes fall closed before taking in a slow breath. On her right hand, her middle and index fingers came together and she drew them down in a line from her forehead to her chin. The instant Kyd Wykkd reappeared at her side, her eyes snapped open and, with a shout, a wave of magic bolted from her at all angles.

At the bank's entrance, a pearl-skinned girl in violet and pink had singled out the changeling. Though she matched him in height, she seemed to stand taller, with deep blue circles dying her cheeks and her white hair curled in at her jaw.

Voodoo - the H.I.V.E.'s new perilous leader in place of the wayward Jinx. Though Beast Boy didn't recognise her from the Brotherhood, the air she wore was enough to warn of her malignity. And if it wasn't, then the metal ball-and-chain she dragged behind her would certainly suffice.

He bared his fangs, let his hands curl into fists at his sides and noted how, when he spoke, his voice didn't sound like his own.

"You guys picked a really bad day to come crawling back to Jump."

The way Voodoo chuckled set his veins alight.

"Hey, now that's not right," she returned in a honeyed tone, her hip propped out and a finger coming to tap at her mouth. "They told me you were the goofy one. You wanna try a joke instead?"

Beast Boy had decided on first glance that he hated this new girl.

She was both creepy and infuriating, looking like nothing at all could shake her. Like there was something not quite right upstairs. When the villain moved, it was with stiff joints but limp limbs, much like a marionette being pulled along by strings. With her head at an unnatural tilt and false smile painted on, she stared back at the Titan through large, expectant eyes.

The shifter's gaze darkened.

He felt a growl brim at his lips, and in seconds his hands were sprouting claws and skin was lined in black-striped fur.

"Aww!" Voodoo cooed down at the green tiger, that inhuman glaze still holding her stare. "The kitty wants ta' play!" With that final word, she took the chain in both hands and yanked it tight.

In the next instant, Voodoo was running with purpose at the creature, the metal ball she wielded scraping loudly on the blacktop. When she came close enough, she swung the chain out and the ball came ricocheting from behind her like a weighted whip.

Using his powerful hind legs, Beast Boy jumped high above the swing. The ball skidded off to the side and whilst Voodoo pulled the chain in, he shot forward at incredible speed. A fierce claw slashed out at where the girl stood, but without warning, she bent back at the base of her spine as though it had simply snapped in half.

That grin prevailed on her pastel lips as she swivelled in place, using the leverage to spin out of reach and whirl the ball-and-chain around with her. Soon it was back at her side, and Beast Boy was taking on the form of a velociraptor.

"Ooooh!" called Voodoo, watching this new beast in childlike awe. She took two jerky steps forward and once more held onto her chain in both hands. Then she lifted the ball from the ground as though it weighed nothing and began to swing it in circles like a yo-yo.

"You want the ball?" she taunted through that same unhinged smile, now beginning to whirl it over her head. Needless to say, the shifter did not appreciate being spoken to like a dog on the best of days, but at this particular time, that saccharine voice set his skin ablaze.

He let out a shrill roar and lurched at her. It seemed she'd misjudged the speed and ferocity of this creature, as she had to throw herself back and out of reach several times. And every time Voodoo eluded his claws, she let out a plucky 'woah!', as if instead of being almost sliced, the two were merely playing a game.

Knowing he'd caught her off-guard, Beast Boy chose that moment to wheel around so his long, mighty tail went smacking into her ribs. The impact sent Voodoo hurtling, landing in a heap of limbs on the sidewalk with her chain dropped before her.

For a while she was quiet, with her face planted to the cement. But soon enough an unnerving laugh was spilling from her mouth, her shoulders shaking as she pushed herself up from the ground. Standing tall again, Beast Boy saw how the girl's left arm was bent at a completely wrong angle. She casually cracked it back into place then raised her head to him.

The wide eyes and deranged smile were back.

"That really hurt."

In a blink, the villain had taken up her chain and given it one large swing before throwing her arms down. The metal ball came plummeting with it, until it collided with the tarmac and cracked the ground apart. It split violently down the street, causing a gorge to open up and soon swallow the changeling whole.

Beast Boy's heart skipped, but just as the split reached him, he morphed into a bird, flying metres above ground. Once again he was forced to resort to dodging as the ball and chain came soaring aimlessly through the air. The bird swooped and dipped out its way, and by the time Beast Boy was able to land in his human form, he found himself panting heavily.

Voodoo curled her fingers around the metal links, then lassoed the chain out at her rival. It wrapped around him again and again, pinning his arms to his sides, and when the ball at the end fell like an anchor to the floor, so did Beast Boy.

Ireful green eyes stared up at Voodoo as she approached and stood blithely before him. Her head pitched to one side again, bent sharply at the neck, and Beast Boy felt like he was being both mocked and pitied.

When she next spoke, it was in a stage-whisper.

"Hey," she said, as one might when about to share a secret. God, this one liked to talk. "You're wondering if I've got powers, right?"

Dammit. She was annoying. But she was also dead-on.

So far the Titans had only seen this new member wield a weapon. And though her dexterity with that alone was impressive, they were all trained to expect more. So yes, from the moment she'd picked him out from the fight, the shifter had been bracing for whatever this eerie newbie might throw his way.

Instead of answering, he merely glared. Voodoo leaned forward slightly.

"This is a fun one."

Beast Boy's eyes followed her gloved hand as she abruptly raised it, with all her fingers pinched together like she was picking something up.

Nothing happened - or so he thought - but then his tapered ears twitched at the sounds of struggle coming from somewhere in the distance. Voodoo's cold, white eyes lifted to a space behind him and he followed, looking over his shoulder.

Raven's entire body was frozen mid-flight, having soared out of Kyd Wykkd's reach moments prior, with only her head able to move. She squirmed and grunted against the unseen force. The sibyl looked down at herself in panic, jaw clenched and teeth grit. Then Voodoo splayed all her fingers and Raven's arms suddenly shot out to her sides, in line with her shoulders. Beast Boy's stare bulged.

This girl was puppeteering his teammate.

Voodoo slowly lowered her arm and Raven too was lowered from the air, placed before her enemy as an offering.

"She's all yours, Kyd!" Voodoo called out, something wild in her eyes as she saw her comrade raise his razor-sharp cape high and wide.

But Voodoo had made a mistake.

Not only had she led her team out into the streets of Jump on the worst day of the year; she had then proceeded to gravely underestimate 'the goofy one' by much too steep a margin.

Before the girl could even breathe, Beast Boy had morphed into a fly to escape his bonds, then a gorilla in quick succession. The 500lb giant came crashing down from above and landed all its weight on the marionette. Voodoo's hold on Raven vanished like smoke and the cloaked hero fell to her knees. With massive hands, the gorilla pinned Voodoo down then swung on one leg to hurl her through the air like a rag doll.

She went crashing into Kyd Wykkd. Pained cries struck Beast Boy's ears as their bodies collided then hit the ground hard.

From the dark of her hood, Raven glanced up to see what on earth had happened in the time she'd taken to blink. All she could catch was a flash of green as it tore past her, up the street then taking off into the sky.

The peregrine soared like a bullet. Viridian light was swelling in Starfire's eyes as her head tipped back, but before she could fire at Angel, the villain was assailed out of nowhere by a scowling grizzly bear. The two struggled through their descent, but Beast Boy held strong to her. Just before they crashed into the ground, he shifted again into a dragonfly to evade the fall and left Angel to drop.

Without even sparing a glance, he abandoned the girl now out cold on the floor and instead pursued their last standing foe. Robin and Cyborg were double-teaming Mammoth, who had resorted to throwing cars in dangerous proximity to the public.

Those onlookers, simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, ogled from where they were trapped behind shop windows on the ground floor. They peered through the glass, some afraid to make a break for it, some entranced by the brawl taking place. One man had to watch in despair as his car was the next to be tossed at the hands of the brute.

Cyborg barely ducked in time to miss getting a bumper to the face, then lifted his cannon and gave Robin a nod. He nodded back in accord and reached for his utility belt. The two bared their teeth and crouched, ready to launch, but were halted by the African rhino that came barraging into Mammoth's side.

Soon Raven and Starfire were approaching from behind, sharing in their wide eyes and gaping mouths. The four stood rooted in place, with only their heads turning here and there as they watched the struggle unfold.

Beast Boy was cutthroat.

He dragged one hooved foot across the floor, kicking up a cloud of dust, and let his rage steer his hulking horn forward. As it came ramming towards him, Mammoth wrapped his arms around it and squatted in an attempt to sweep the beast up. But Beast Boy crushed those hooves deep into the earth. With an incensed grunt, the rhino tossed its head back and instead sent Mammoth barrelling down the street.

The criminal smashed into the asphalt, his entire left side singed red from the force with which he had scraped across the road. A raw howl fled his lips as he clutched at his arm, but in seconds another green beast was upon him.

The ground trembled as the gorilla ran on all fours. When it reached its prey, it grasped him with a fierce hold and threw him out to the wall behind them. Mammoth's back whacked into the wall, causing its surface to crack, then he was thrown again the opposite way into another stretch of solid brick.

The gorilla dropped his limp form to the ground and banged at its chest with a yell, only stopping when it felt a hand grip tightly to its shoulder.

The animal jerked its head round, its pupils shrunken to black dots, but Robin observed them as they fell to his familiar glove and gradually grew large once again.

"He's had enough, Beast Boy," the Titan told him - an attentive command. The gorilla's chest rose and fell with heavy breaths, its incisors sharp in its mouth as it took in Robin's face. But then it was deflating, and those fangs were drawing back as their teammate was warily returned to them.

Beast Boy's shoulder was now small in Robin's hand. He let it go as the boy welded his eyes shut and dragged the back of his glove roughly over his mouth. His cheeks were mottled in sweat and dirt.

"Sorry," the changeling said. His head hung low, but he didn't look to the body below, nor to any of the four faces watching him. Robin's eyebrows knit together in sympathy.

"Let's just take these guys in and head home. Okay?"

Beast Boy lifted his eyes to sweep over his friends, then to the heap of villains he'd taken out in his frenzy. A wash of blue and red light came flashing up the street, with the faroff shriek of sirens as the authorities arrived on scene. An awful feeling slid down his spine like cold oil, and he felt his fingers twitch at his sides.

"Actually…" His voice was scratchy at the base of his throat. "If you guys can handle it, I'll just catch you back there," he offered with a jerk of his thumb in the direction of the tower. Robin saw how he swallowed hard before transforming into a red-tailed hawk and taking to the skies without another word.

The masked man took a few steps forward, hearing his teammates move to follow. When he felt a warmth close to his side, he wrapped his arm around the alien.

Starfire looked to Robin.

"He will be… alright?"

The other three watched with sad eyes as the spot of green soared towards the horizon, eventually disappearing into the clouds. Robin held tighter to Starfire's waist.

"He just needs some time."

- T -

Raven winced against the streak of moonlight peeking through the gap in her drapes.

She was wrapped in the shadows of her room, her cheek pressed into a pillow and legs drawn up to her stomach. Through bleary eyes, she let her gaze lift to the pale light - a silver strip piercing the endless dark. She blinked slowly, breathing out through her nose as her lips pulled down at the sides.

Relinquishing her will to sleep, the magus brought her hands out from beneath her pillow and instead pressed her palms flat into the mattress. She heaved herself upright and let her head hang a moment, locks of violet hair coming to fall about her face.

Raven sighed.

For all that she wished she didn't, the sibyl had recognised that look in his eyes when he'd turned to Robin too well. She'd felt her chest clench at the sight of it; their pine hue like a darkened forest, and those striking brows furrowed in unspoken grief.

Only two months ago, Beast Boy had finally come to terms with the fact Terra would never be a part of his life again. That was after he'd been separated from all his team and forced to lead a group of unknown metas to take down the Brotherhood of Evil. And that too had been after he was made to watch all his former team - his family - sacrifice themselves one by one for the sake of the mission.

She had said nothing to him. She wasn't sure if anyone had. And it was to no one's surprise that after some days spent latched to his GameStation, their teammate was once again beguiling them with quips, jokes, and an overall sprightly presence.

Perhaps it hadn't been a ruse. Perhaps the resident shifter had truly come to peace with it all, and Raven's suspicions that he was routinely donning a smile to distract from the pain were void. But whatever the case, the only truth that mattered had made itself clear today: something had been simmering beneath the surface in her friend, and with the heat of battle, it had been given the chance to come spilling over like a rampant flood.

That familiar adrenaline, the kind that only came with combat, had been his final tipping point.

And what could she possibly say? How could she even begin to take his broken heart in her hands and stitch it back together? It was a splintered thing. Splintered from forever being worn on his sleeve, where anyone may reach it...

Raven gasped at the sudden sound of a scream.

Her head jolted up to stare at her bedroom wall, where the cry had rung out. What followed was a muster of stifled groans; a low rumble seeping through the wallpaper. Through the haze of night, Raven's mind cleared away the mist and was quickly brought into focus.

Of course.

It went like this every year.

But this time, when the whines slowly faded, there was further shuffling in place of silence. She heard him as he paced about his room next door, the occasional creak of a floorboard beneath his feet. Then came the familiar clink of sliding metal as it opened and shut again behind him, and his aura was gone from the hallway.

For some minutes, the sorceress merely lingered on the creases and folds she'd made of her duvet. Her lips pressed together as a set of slender fingers smoothed them out, one by one. Dark eyes flitted to her nightstand, where a ticking clock spoke the ungodly hour in which she still found herself tied to the waking world.

There had been no more movement from the corridor. The bedrooms of their three teammates were located on the opposite side of the tower, after all, but even if they hadn't been, Raven doubted anyone else would've stirred.

Since migrating to Starfire's room, Robin had been sleeping like a log, completely dead to the world (much like the girl in his arms). It was a good thing - not just for their leader, but for all of them. Cyborg had taken to 'switching off' at night as opposed to being on 'standby' - a decision made from his annoyance in constantly being roused by his insistent stomach. It had certainly saved the heroes some added grocery bills, and he had wired his system to be overwritten by both the crime and intruder alerts.

So the tower remained still, with three Titans sleeping and two wide awake.

On an inhale, the magus drew her attention once more to the rift in her curtains, where the moon now hung like a beacon in the night.

Before she could dwell on whether she was making a mistake, Raven succumbed to instinct and abruptly tore the quilt off of her.

Walking the tower halls in these early hours felt like wading through a void. The world outside their small island might have no longer existed - or perhaps it was the island itself that ceased to exist, like a vacuum out at sea.

The tap of Raven's boots on the carpet echoed in her head as she carried herself onward, turning corners and descending stairs. When she reached the place she sought, the door slipped open for her. The first thing she felt was a solid gust of sea breeze, whipping her cloak about her ankles and raising gooseflesh on her legs. The first thing she saw was a hunched figure, perched upon the rocks at a distance away.

Her heart fell through her chest and she frowned.

Russet boulders formed a trail between the magus and the sea, and with purpose, she ventured on until she could make out the lines of his back, the ruffles of his hair.

Though he showed no signs of awareness to her presence, she knew he'd have picked it up the instant she'd arrived. And with such heightened senses, Raven was sure he'd have also pinned down exactly whose presence it was.

It was only when she found herself standing a few feet away that his voice finally croaked out above the tide.

"Guess you're not out here for a swim?" he uttered, and though she couldn't see it, she could tell it was said through a melancholy smile. Hearing him speak was enough to pull her forward, until she was finally stepping up onto the same rock and sitting down at his side.

"Guess you're not either."

She gazed out at the sea, but from her periphery she could catch how his eyes dropped from the shoreline to his lap. Another brisk breeze sailed past them.

"Sorry," he began, "if I woke you." The sound was thin, as though his words could have been carried away on the wind. She still stared ahead, unreadable.

"You didn't."

He gave a slight nod, then the silence settled in...

It sank into all the crevices. All the small spaces.

It swelled in the hollow between his ribs and nestled there, like a sleeping ghost.

He felt the salt air stream into his lungs, heard the steady surf as it ebbed and turned in time with his thoughts.

And he knew what she was doing. This sitting. This waiting. This quiet.

And God, he thought. Why did it always work?

A soot cloud crept over the moon and stole away all the water's glittering light. Garfield released a sigh, sombre and full.

"I miss them so much, Rae," he said.

With this confession, she turned to gauge him for the first time.

Sometimes it was easy to forget how such a sunny face could be whittled down to this. How his mouth could be carved into something so sad. How the spark in his eyes could be burnt out to blackness.

How he could look so tired.

He'd never spoken to her about his parents before. In fact, Raven was certain the only Titan who knew any details of that day was Cyborg. What she knew was as much as the other two knew: that he had been seven, and there was an accident. He alone had survived.

Rather than speak, she let his words carry for a time. Her dark brows turned up at the bridge when she spotted the shadows beneath his eyes.

"It's the same dream," Beast Boy told her, resting his elbows on his knees. "Every year. Just me, watching it happen. And I… I don't do anything." She thought she saw resentment slip onto his features. "It's like I'm stuck. I just watch."

With a tilt of her head, Raven tried to catch his line of sight, but he just remained fixed upon the waves lapping gently at his feet.

"You were seven." Her tone was level and sure. "There's nothing you could have done."

The changeling gave a light shake of his head, drawing his hands together.

"I still had my powers," he asserted. "If I'd really tried... maybe I could've done something."

He often did this, she had noticed. When things went wrong, when the pain crept up on him, he would ruminate on how things could have been different. A mind plagued with buts and what ifs.

Raven had never had such a luxury as this. She could never afford to. To harbour regrets, for them to stir and build inside of her, would only amount to chaos - a rolling ball on a downward hill, spiralling out of control.

What happens happens. We can't change it. But we can respect it. We can let it shape us.

Though Raven knew this to be the truth, she was also aware it was not what he needed to hear. She let her gaze drift down to his gloved hands, twined together.

"What were they like?" she asked, surprising even herself when she did.

He looked up to her then, curiosity swimming in his stare. And soon, a huff of a laugh left him. A bittersweet sound.

"They were amazing," Gar said. "Smart. Fun. Kind… My mom, Marie - she used to take me canoeing with her. I got pretty good at it. And Dad knew everything about constellations. When we were setting up camp somewhere new, he'd always teach me about another one that night."

He looked up to the heavens with glassy eyes. You didn't get stars in Jump like they had in Africa.

"We'd stay up for hours… It made Mom so mad."

He wasn't sure at what point he'd begun to smile, but Raven found herself mirroring it softly.

"They always worked so hard with their research, trying to help people. Save lives. Make the world better…" As his voice withered, so did his smile, and in its place came a look of reflection. He peered down at his face, echoed in the rippling water.

"So, it runs in the family?" Raven murmured. His lip trembled and he nodded in earnest. For a second she panicked, but was relieved to see his shoulders lift as a small, wistful laugh left him.

"Heh. Yeah," he croaked, quickly wiping at a rogue tear that threatened to fall. "Maybe."

Raven wasn't sure what a parent should be. The very notion of a mother or father was elusive to her, and though Beast Boy had now given these titles to Rita and Steve, even the enchantress could see that the latter was a sorry excuse.

No. Raven imagined that if a parent should be anything, it was probably however Mark and Marie Logan had been…

His blinking came more frequently now, batting away the wetness blurring his vision. She leant back on her hands and let the ends of her hair dance in another gust of wind.

"They would be proud of you," Raven told him sincerely.

"Yeah?" he replied, and he looked to her like he was desperate for it to be true. Still, the doubt lingered. The insecurities. The guilt. "I dunno… I mean, I'm no scientist." The changeling shrugged lightly. "I'm just out here, trying to do what I can."

When their gazes met, Raven could see that in those jade pools, her friend was yearning from somewhere deep within. Yearning for it to all be enough. For him to be enough.

"I know." She spoke softly, as though the moment might break otherwise. Then her lips pulled up into another one of those rare, Raven smiles. "That's why they'd be proud."

Green held to amethyst a moment longer as he felt himself smile back, and the world became quiet again. He wasn't sure whether he should reach out and try to hug her… Anything to make her realise what this meant to him.

To his surprise, it was her hand that lifted first, landing with purpose on his forearm. And with severe regret, he had to flinch away on a sharp intake of breath, for her palm had pressed right down onto the place where his flesh was stained blue beneath his sleeve.

Raven instantly backed off, her hand hovering idly in the space between them.

"Are you hurt?" she was quick to ask, her brows high on her head. Gar cradled his forearm with his opposite hand as he tried to laugh it off, giving his shoulder a generous roll.

"Yeahhh…" He hated how their voices had become louder now. Even the seagulls had begun to fly and caw overhead. Another broken moment to add to the list. "Mightta went down a bit hard on it in the fight..."

She eyed him.

"You didn't have Cyborg look at it?"

He paused.

"I kinda just… didn't want the sympathy today. You know?"

She supposed that made sense. And so, when another moment passed and she came to a decision, she made sure to carry it out with as little sympathy as possible.

"Here," the magus said, sliding her palm underneath his forearm this time.

She ignored how it was fuller these days. Firmer. How all of him had noticeably grown, whilst she remained much the same, but for an inch of height. His shoulders, limbs and chest were filling out. In a very short space of time he'd caught up to her, so that they were now eye-level when they stood side-by-side. His jaw had sharpened the smallest amount, and his voice… Still scratchy. Still pitchy at times. But deeper and richer and unfairly resonant whenever it hit her ears.

She also ignored how his spine straightened and arm went immediately limp in her hold. Instead, she focused on avoiding his gaze, bringing his arm closer to her own lap and finally laying it down gently.

If Raven had peered up, she might've caught how his cheeks were dusted a faint pink beneath the moon's pale glow. How his jaw was clenched and his Adam's apple bobbed in his throat. But those midnight eyes stayed trained to her task, and with a velvet touch, she let one hand graze against the fabric of his sleeve and settle at the place where she detected pain.

The sibyl inhaled, long and slow, before her hand was illuminated, crystal blue. The spell seeped through him like water, and he felt how it breathed warmth into his veins. When Raven exhaled, he did so with her, letting his eyes fall closed as the ache dissipated to nothingness.

Then all too soon, she released him, her own hands back in her lap and his arm hesitantly retreating in the seconds that followed. He looked down to it as he held it, flexing his fingers for good measure, then smiled up at her.

"Thanks, Raven."

"It's nothing," she said. But she was wrong.

"No," he pressed on. "I mean thanks for that, but... also…"

Oh, she thought, blinking up at him.

"You're welcome."

The seagulls' cries had died down, but with another chill breeze, the ocean rushed forth at the island's bank and Raven felt her whole body shiver. Coiling her arms around herself, she moved her legs from beneath her and swiftly made to stand.

"I should head inside," the girl murmured noncommittally, glancing back at the tower behind her. "Are you coming?"

Beast Boy studied her face a moment, the moonlight breathing silver into her hair as it moved with the wind. He swallowed.

"I'll be in soon," he replied. "Promise."

She nodded, looked away, then glimpsed back to him.

"Try to get some sleep. We still have training at eight."

The boy internally groaned, but on the outside, he forced a cynical smile.

"Gee. Can't wait."

Though Raven couldn't stop from rolling her eyes, her lips lifted a touch at the edge.

"Good night."

"Night…"

She turned and he watched that blue cloak withdraw further and further away, then like a phantom, she was gone from his sight. The smile he'd been wearing fell. For the first time, he realised how heavy his eyes felt, as though his very lashes were weighing them down.

Even so, the changeling tore his stare from the tower door and looked back out to the horizon, where the inky sea bled into an obsidian sky. The cloud that once veiled the moon had now drifted somewhere far away, and its clean, ivory light spilled back out onto the ocean waves.

Like the night, his mind was clear, and he could see all things as they were.

Beast Boy tipped his head back and let himself be bathed in the world.

Damn, said a voice in his head. He pressed a hand to his thrumming chest, a recognisable flutter swarming low in his stomach.

Not again.


Author's Note:

you will soon learn that i just talk a lot in the notes.

anyway yeah, sorry bb was kinda ooc in this opening chapter (is it rly ooc if we've seen him angsty like that in canon tho?). that's probs not the first thing you wanna see in a story, but i promise it was done with purpose and will not last.

you should know that i love digging into characters' emotions, and with bb especially, i frickin love that his happy-go-lucky personality is a blatant coping mechanism for all the awful shit he's been through. some of my fav moments in the series were when all the angst built up and he just went ham. it's also something that inherently ties him to raven, who too has a dark side but merely deals with it in a different way (though she also has every potential to lose control if she doesn't push it down).

so i had to get that off my chest here and give them that immediate association, but don't worry, our sweet boy will return. he was just having a bad day, made that much worse by this voodoo bitch (who i created completely by accident after realising the hive didn't have a leader and i actually rly love her even tho she's creepy and patronising af)

honestly i wasn't sure if this was the best way to open the story. like, with such a sombre tone. cos trust when i say this story is NOT going to be all doom-and-gloom and serious like this, in fact i really enjoy writing comedy and light-heartedness, so maybe this wasn't the most accurate tone to set (though there will be more serious/angsty moments ahead too).

with the conversation between bb and rae, i was super conscious of trying to walk the line between not having it be too little but also not having it be too much. i think dialogue in heartfelt moments like this is sooo delicate, but you'll see that a lot of this story is just me walking a very thin line and refraining from giving into my ship instincts for the sake of the slow-burn.

like i totes see the appeal in having them pour their hearts out to each other, but that's a v intimate thing and in this story we like to build up to those things. patience will be rewarded.

i put off starting this story for sooooooo long cos i just didn't know how to start it. and when i came up with this idea, i liked it, but i was still questioning whether i should leave it for a later chapter. but then i'd be back to square-one with no beginning, and just giving myself more excuses to delay writing the story, and in the end i decided any start would be better than not starting at all, so here we are.

(oh, and for any of you who didn't know, the locations of the titans' rooms in the tower is canon. just google 'titans tower blueprint' and you'll see the official layout.)