Chapter One: Home
The sound of the wind is whispering in your head
Can you feel it coming back?
Through the warmth, through the cold, keep running till we're there
We're coming home now, we're coming home now
~ Home; Dotan
A/N: Happy spooky season and welcome! This fic was originally written under a different pen name, but it's back and freshened up. This is a Remus/OC and will be on-again, off-again. The romance develops quite quickly at first but it's more "puppy love" that will mature with the characters as they get older.
There was nothing like the pure joy that Phoenix Black felt at the prospect of returning to Hogwarts. Summers with her family were utterly stifling, and this one had been more drama than Phoenix had bargained for. While it was true that her older brother Sirius didn't get on with her parents at the best of times, she hadn't expected him to actually leave after a heated argument with their mother Walburga. Perhaps she would have been more anxious if he hadn't a safe place to go, but he was staying with James Potter.
The countryside rushed past in a blur of colour. Phoenix pressed her fingers to the window, withdrawing them just as quickly at the coldness seeping into her touch. She felt the same way she always did returning to Hogwarts for a new year: excited and nervous. Especially for this year, her fifth year, as it meant she would be taking her O.W.L.s.
Phoenix's ragdoll cat, Saturn, purred contentedly in her lap. She buried her fingers in the cat's thick, warm fur. It was a welcome change from the frostiness of the window pane. Saturn's purrs increased until she was practically vibrating in delight. Walburga had tried to get Phoenix to agree to an owl, but she had insisted she could always borrow Regulus's eagle owl, Glory, to send letters.
In the seat across from Phoenix, Beth Fawley and Lorna Flint had already helped themselves to the trolley and were comparing chocolate frog cards. She wanted to join them, but there was an anxious feeling bubbling in her gut. Her friends' laughter was contagious, and she brushed aside the uneasy sensation.
"You got Ptolemy!" Beth exclaimed. "I'll swap you? I've got two Morgana cards already."
"No deal." Lorna clutched the card tightly to her chest, shaking her head vigorously. Both of them were avid collectors of chocolate frog cards. Phoenix preferred the chocolate, and surrendered her cards to whoever let her eat their frog.
"Please just swap her so I don't have to listen to her whinging for the rest of the trip," Phoenix begged, immersing herself in their conversation.
"The Prefect has given you a command," Beth declared, making Lorna smirk and Phoenix groan. She hadn't heard the end of it ever since she'd been issued the damn badge. "Speaking of which - aren't you meant to be on patrol with the others?"
"Vance and O'Reilly said we were meeting at one o'clock." Phoenix pointedly indicated her watch, which would have started telling her off for lapsing in her duties if she'd been running late. "I've got half an hour to kill."
Phoenix was also avoiding her fellow Slytherin Prefect, Alexander Wilkes, although she wouldn't admit that to her friends. She had been disappointed and surprised that her twin brother Regulus hadn't been given the badge instead. Wilkes was far more likely to bend the rules, so she considered this an oversight of Dumbledore's. She was distracted by Beth tossing her over the chocolate frog, which she snapped up quickly.
"Black." The door to the compartment slammed open, and Phoenix jolted as Hogwarts' current Head Girl, Emmeline Vance, glared across at her. She pressed a hand over her heart to indicate her stress level.
"Whoa. Vance. Are you trying to kill me before I even start my patrol?"
"Very funny." Vance's eyes narrowed. "You're half an hour late to the meeting, so I told Lachlan to talk to the others while I came and found you."
"What do you mean?" Phoenix's eyes flicked down to her watch. "I was told that the meeting was at one."
"It started at twelve," Vance scolded.
"Shit." Phoenix raked a hand through her hair, mentally cursing Alexander and reminding herself not to trust the moron again. She scrambled to her feet and cast a look at Beth and Lorna. "I'll see you later, okay?"
She didn't get time to hear their responses as she closed the compartment door and followed Vance, silently fuming. Trust one of Regulus's idiot friends to make her look bad for her very first Prefect meeting. Vance and O'Reilly probably thought she was slacking off. When she strode into the compartment, she narrowed her eyes at Alexander and drew a finger across her throat, earning a smirk in return.
As Vance started prattling on about their duties like patrolling the corridors, things they already knew - O'Reilly remained silent, making Phoenix think Vance was definitely the one in charge - Alexander crossed to stand beside her. She scowled and pointedly stepped away, but he didn't seem to get the message.
"What's wrong?"
"You told me one o'clock," Phoenix hissed at him.
The smirk on his face broadened, making her certain it hadn't been an honest mistake, but a deliberate ploy to make her late. Unlike him, she took her duties seriously, and didn't appreciate the fact that she'd been made to look bad. She resisted the urge to hex him, although she also made a mental reminder to complain to Beth and Lorna.
As Vance wound up her speech, it was the Prefects' responsibility to patrol the compartments and make sure none of the students were doing anything they shouldn't be. Seething, Phoenix stomped down a completely different corridor than Alexander. She hadn't even set foot back in the castle, and she was already in the bad books.
There would be a back-to-school party happening in the Hufflepuff common room, according to Phoenix's sixth-year friend Taylor Montgomery. For now, she was more focused on unpacking her trunk and settling into the dormitory. The feast had been magnificent as always, and Phoenix had eaten more than usual to compensate for the alcohol that she'd likely be having during this party.
"Are you going to the party?" Beth asked. She and Phoenix had formed a quick friendship from day one, and although she was perhaps Phoenix's closest female Slytherin friend, she wouldn't exactly call them best friends.
Lorna, on the other hand, could be quite the fickle friend. When she thought something would make her look cool, she leaped at the opportunity, even if it meant putting her at odds with Phoenix and Beth.
"Of course." Phoenix lay out a black dress that would flatter her figure nicely. She had nothing against forming inter-house friendships, something that none of the others minded unless it involved Sirius and his little group.
It had certainly come to Phoenix's notice that Beth fancied her twin brother, Regulus. At times she seemed jealous of the attention that Phoenix got from Regulus and his friends. She'd been mingling with those boys since they were children, and didn't think anything of it. Beth and some of the other girls claimed the boys wanted little to do with them.
For that reason, there were those among the Slytherin girls who vied for Phoenix's friendship in the hope that it would gain them access to the circle of Slytherin boys. She'd become rather good at figuring out who genuinely wanted to be her friend, and who only wanted to be in her life to get to her brothers – either one of them, really.
Pushing herself to her feet, Phoenix stripped off her Hogwarts robes and shimmied into the dress. Sweeping her dark hair over her shoulder, she spun to face Beth for a verdict. Phoenix was well aware that she was a pretty girl – people were always telling her as much. She possessed the same good looks as her siblings – black hair, stormy grey eyes, fairly tall. At fifteen, Phoenix had developed curves over the course of the summer, and knew some of the boys had already noticed.
"You look good." Beth cast a glance over her shoulder at her own trunk. "What should I wear?"
"Hmm." Phoenix crossed over to critically inspect Beth's choices. Beth was a pureblood too, but her family was not as wealthy as Phoenix's. For this reason, Phoenix would often let her borrow clothes – the pair were a similar size. This time, Phoenix plucked something appropriate from Beth's trunk. "How about this silver one?"
"Good choice." Beth admired the dress in her friend's hands. "What would I do without you?"
"Miss out on looking stylish, I expect." Phoenix tossed her dark hair over her shoulder with a grin.
'Party' was perhaps an optimistic term for the event. In truth it was a group of students milling around the Hufflepuff common room with various drinks. Phoenix was intoxicated by the back-to-school atmosphere - friends sprawled across seats chatting animatedly about the summer break. Two sixth-year Ravenclaw girls crossed arms and did shots of firewhiskey, giggling hysterically.
Phoenix immediately made a beeline for Sirius and his friends – or as they obnoxiously referred to themselves, the Marauders. She'd had a small crush on James Potter when she'd first started at Hogwarts, but that had quickly dissolved the more he opened his mouth. She was typically Sirius's annoying little sister, though her presence was far more welcome and less ominous than Regulus's.
She couldn't help but examine Remus Lupin. He had scraped past six foot over the holidays and had gotten...well, he'd gotten hot. He had light brown hair and pale green eyes, and a strong jaw paired with a sweet smile.
"Hey, Nix." He glanced at her as she appeared on the fringe on their group.
"Hey, Remus." She smiled flirtatiously, tilting her head to the side and examining him. "How were your holidays?"
"Hello to you too, Phoenix…" Sirius rolled his eyes dramatically, reminding his younger sister that the last time they'd spoken had been before he'd stormed out of the house and renounced his family.
She raised her eyebrows. "Yes, hi."
"My holidays were good." Remus ignored the fact that Sirius had even spoken. Phoenix appreciated that. "How were yours?"
"Eventful." Phoenix took his drink from his hand and took a sip. Something like firewhiskey burned its way down her throat. She handed it back to him, resisting the urge to cough as he eyes watered. "Did you go to James's as well during the holidays?"
"For a little while." Remus shrugged his shoulders. "I didn't stay long."
"Oh yeah, I can imagine not." Phoenix knew that Remus had a habit of going missing once a month, claiming sickness or that he had to visit an ill family member. She never questioned it, but it did make her suspicious. Her statement made him raise his eyebrows and she smiled innocently.
"You grew a bit over the summer."
"So did you," Remus pointed out.
Phoenix laughed. "Grew a rack, you mean?"
It was the truth. She may not have been as well-endowed like others, but she'd certainly started to get curves in places that attracted notice from some of the boys. Alexander Wilkes had already looked her up and down a few times, only to some chastising from Regulus. He didn't like his twin being treated like a piece of meat.
"I hadn't noticed, in all honesty." A faint flush spread over Remus's cheeks. "There's more to people than their looks."
"What more is there to me?" Phoenix asked, genuinely interested to know what his answer would be.
"You're a nice person."
The answer amused her. She thought both of her brothers had referred to her as a heinous bitch, on more than one occasion. She was not known for being kind, so she found Remus's answer hard to swallow. He was probably just flattering her, telling her what he thought she wanted to hear. Guys were good like that.
She scoffed. "Here I thought you knew me."
"It's because I do that I know you are." It was true that Remus had known her since she was a knobby-kneed eleven-year-old, but that didn't change the fact that he was wrong about her.
"Remus, that's really sweet of you, but I'm not that nice."
He shrugged. "Well, I think you are."
"You're very cute," she said, before glancing over her shoulder to where Regulus was beckoning her over. Flashing Remus one last charming smile, she crossed the room to her brother and his usual group of Slytherin miscreants. Regulus looked up from his drink at her approach, a smirk playing about the corners of his lips.
"Hello, brat."
"Reggie." It was the nickname she'd given him since childhood, and he'd given up on trying to get her not to use it. "Having a good time?"
"Saw you spoke to Sirius." Regulus hadn't really cared about Sirius being thrown out, but the brothers had been on bad terms since Sirius's departure. She didn't really expect them to speak.
"And the half-blood." It was Alexander Wilkes who spoke up. He was tall and gangly with dark hair and pale eyes. She had hooked up with him at the end of their fourth year, and regretted it ever since.
"He has a name, you know," Phoenix chastised, nudging him. It was true that she wasn't heavily defensive when her fellow Slytherins made nasty comments, but that didn't mean she'd say nothing about it.
"Does it matter?" Evan Rosier drawled. He was in the year above them, but many of the Voldemort-supporting Slytherins tended to flock together. Evan was less sleazy than Alexander, attractive with blonde hair, blue eyes and sharp features.
Alexander waved a dismissive hand. "Don't waste your time, you're too good for him."
Phoenix rolled her eyes. "Flattering."
"It's true," Evan piped up.
"Besides." Alexander slipped a silver flask out of his pocket and tipping her a wink. "We're a lot more fun."
That damn flask had gotten them into trouble time and again, but Phoenix would be damned if she wasn't going to participate in some mischief before classes started back – even if it meant attending them with a hangover. Heaving a sigh, she held out her hand for the flask, knowing she'd probably regret every sip in the morning.
The first day of classes had been predictably awful. Combined with a hangover that loomed about like dark clouds on a rainy day, Phoenix found it intolerable. There was the serious conversation that their OWLs were this year, which Phoenix had tuned out around the third time it was mentioned.
After the stress of it all, she found herself reclining in a chair in the Slytherin common room along with Regulus and his friends, scoffing sweets and rolling her eyes as Alexander listed the hottest girls at Hogwarts this year.
"I'm a girl and I'm sick of hearing you objectify girls," Phoenix said bluntly. She was also annoyed with him because he'd insisted on pairing with her during Potions and ended up completely ruining their project. He wasn't exactly renowned for his intelligence, less so when it came to Potions.
Alexander frowned. "I'm just stating which ones I find attractive."
"And being an ass about the ones you don't," Evan added, handing Phoenix some Bertie Botts beans when she reached for the box. Alexander leaned back in his chair as he observed the exchange.
"I don't think I've ever seen you eat something healthy."
Regulus shrugged. "She doesn't eat healthy."
"Bite me." Phoenix snapped. She wasn't overly selective with her food, but she didn't see the need to be. She certainly didn't appreciate Alexander's unnecessary commentary about it. "I like sweets."
"I've heard you quite like Lupin too," Alexander countered slyly, referring to the previous evening's back-to-school party. She refrained from rolling her eyes into another dimension, but only just. Merlin's beard, what was his problem with it?
"She was talking to him because he's Sirius's friend," Regulus said. Although Phoenix appreciated her brother sticking up for her, she had to admit that his statement wasn't true. She liked Remus, and she didn't feel she should have to hide that. The fact that he was a Gryffindor and half-blood was inconsequential.
Alexander smirked. "They seemed to be flirting."
"Don't be a hypocrite," Phoenix sneered, leaning forward on the couch to glare at him. "You've hit on half-blood girls."
"She's not doing anything with him." Evan rifled through the Bertie Botts beans in his palm. "It doesn't matter."
Phoenix feigned an innocent smile. "I'm saving myself for marriage."
Alexander burst out laughing, and even Evan looked amused. Phoenix's cheeks flared with heat, and she looked quickly at Regulus. She hadn't exactly told her brother that she and Alexander had got hot and heavy at the end of fourth year, or that Evan had drunkenly propositioned her over the summer at the Malfoys' party.
"That's a funny joke," Evan stated.
Phoenix's eyes narrowed. "Excuse me, I'm pure."
"You haven't had sex," Alexander pointed out. "That doesn't mean you're pure."
"Leave her be," Regulus interjected.
Phoenix stretched out across the couch, smugly eating more sweets, content in her twin brother's defence of her. It was true that she was far from innocent, but she doubted that Regulus knew the sort of things she'd been up to, just like she avoided descriptions of him snogging Beth Fawley.
Alexander held up his hands. "Relax, Regulus, you know I'm kidding."
"It's okay, Reggie, none of us are saints." Phoenix changed the subject, knowing otherwise there would probably be some kind of argument. "Who's trying out for the team this year?"
Alexander looked thoughtful. "Could try for a Beater."
"I reckon Chaser for myself," Evan remarked, which was Phoenix's coveted position. She had no doubt that if it came down to it, she'd kick his ass to make it onto the Slytherin Quidditch team.
"I might try for Chaser too." Phoenix nudged her twin with a sly smile. "Although we all know Reggie will get Seeker again."
Regulus grinned and didn't bother denying it. He'd played as a Seeker the year before, and odds were looking as though he'd make the team again with little competition. Him being on the team made it more favourable for Phoenix – although she planned to get in on talent as much as her connections.
There were few things that Phoenix was enthusiastic about when it came to her schooling, but Quidditch was certainly one of them – not to mention Potions and Charms on occasion. Yet with the OWLs this year bound to bring her stress, being on a broomstick would be a wonderful outlet.
"I am deceased," Phoenix declared as she let her books drop dramatically onto the table where Beth and Lorna sat. Lorna almost jumped out of her skin, but Beth leaned back in her chair, textbooks already open in front of her.
"You look alive to me," Lorna drawled.
"Shut it." Phoenix pulled out her Potions book and opened it to the reading that they were meant to be doing for their next class. Studying with Beth and Lorna was always more productive than Regulus and his gang of miscreants.
Beth was a good influence when it came to study - she colour coordinated her notes, she did her homework the night they received it, not the night before it was due. Although she was serious when it came to study, that was why having Lorna was a good thing. When study sessions got too long and Phoenix got tense or irritable, Lorna resorted to gossip or offering to do her nails or braid her hair.
"We have a mountain of homework already," Lorna complained, attempting to look over Beth's shoulder. The blonde scowled and angled her book so that she couldn't see, making Lorna scowl. "Come on, Beth."
"You're not going to get anywhere if you don't start doing your own homework," she chastised.
Phoenix scanned the textbooks, but the words seemed to blur into nothing. In truth, she was holding out for the Quidditch tryouts - the only spark of hope in her immediate future. Checking her watch, she cursed as she realised she was meant to be patrolling with Alexander in half an hour.
"I have to go. I've got patrol." She pulled a face, easing herself to her feet and gathering her textbooks up again.
"Enjoy." Lorna smirked, causing Phoenix to flip the middle finger as she headed out. She was beginning to think she might actually prefer studying over spending a few hours patrolling the corridors with one of the most insufferable gits she knew - which was saying something, considering her older brother was Sirius.
Phoenix frowned over her notes on the Draught of Peace that they had been learning about in Potions. Although the notes were prettily written, she still didn't think she had the steps in the right order. That was partially why she'd come to see Sirius and his friends – half in the hope that Remus could help her, and half because she genuinely wanted to see him.
"I don't get it," she admitted.
Remus patiently explained to her again, and Phoenix went through her notes and made the necessary modifications. He was very clever, and she was quite surprised he hadn't been sorted into Ravenclaw. She couldn't help but watch him as he looked over her notes. How had she not noticed how cute he was before now?
"Better?"
Phoenix brushed a strand of dark hair out of her eyes. "I think so."
"I'm a single woman again," Taylor Montgomery announced as she entered the common room, making Phoenix look up from her Potions notes.
Taylor was a Hufflepuff in the same year as Sirius and the others, a pretty and curvy blonde who had been dating a Ravenclaw called Kane - a situation she seemed to have rectified. Phoenix was pleased for her friend – she'd always thought Kane was an asshole, and had never been shy about telling Taylor so. She reckoned she'd probably told Kane that to his face once or twice too.
"Join us," Sirius called, patting the spot on the couch beside him. He and James were chatting animatedly while Peter scoffed sweets and listened. "Remus is flirting with my sister in nerd."
Remus frowned, his cheeks going red. "I am not."
"Good." Sirius shook his head and tutted, wagging a finger at him. "She's too young for you, mate."
Phoenix's eyes narrowed. Sirius was joking, but the last thing she needed was her brother's input.
"I'm barely a year younger than him, thanks."
"They'd be a cute couple," Taylor stated, tossing her blonde hair over her shoulder and offering the two of them a wide grin.
"Phoenix wouldn't go there," Sirius teased, leaning forward to ruffle his little sister's dark hair, "She only goes for purebloods."
Phoenix responded by flipping her middle finger up at him. It wasn't true in the slightest. She tended to stick more to people she'd known since childhood, like Regulus and his group of friends. Yet that didn't mean she'd only hooked up with pure-bloods. It wasn't as though Remus was Muggle-born.
Setting her Potions notes aside, Phoenix turned her mind to other matters – such as the upcoming Halloween party that she'd heard Regulus and the others discussing. The event was still a bit over a month away, but there was no harm in planning ahead. Feeling daring, she turned her attention on Remus.
"Do you like Halloween?" she asked him.
"Yeah." He nodded slowly, expression wary as though her question was some sort of trap. "Why?"
Phoenix tried to act nonchalant. "Slytherins are having a party if you want to come."
Remus's shoulders tensed up a little. "I don't think I'd be welcome."
"So you won't come? You'll be in costume. No one would have to know." Phoenix's eyes were wide and pleading. She knew her friends could be dicks, but the Marauders were more than capable of holding their own. "You don't have to if you'll feel uncomfortable."
"I'll think about it." Remus didn't seem overly enthusiastic, and Phoenix was not used to the sting of rejection. She was used to having people – Regulus, his friends, even Sirius on most occasions – wrapped around her little finger. The idea that she couldn't rope Remus into coming to a damn party didn't make her feel good, and she immediately found herself irritable because of it.
"Never mind." Phoenix picked up her things hastily, gathering them together. "I just wanted you to come."
It sounded too much like vulnerability, too much like she really cared what he thought and whether he was present. If the Slytherin boys ever heard her talk like that, she knew the kind of things they'd say. She was sick of hearing them mock her choices, like they weren't hypocrites themselves.
"I should go back to my common room."
Sirius was amused, arching an eyebrow. "Are you sulking?"
"Me?" She shook her head vigorously, although she silently cursed her older brother for knowing her well enough to realise precisely what she was doing. "No."
"Have fun with your elitist friends!" Sirius crowed after her as she marched out of the Gryffindor common room, feeling even more pissed off because of his comment. He could act all high and mighty if he liked, but James and Sirius were bullies themselves. They could condemn the Slytherin boys all they liked, but really, were they much different?
