Melinda looked at her watch. She was twelve minutes late. It didn't matter too much, she thought as she looked around the quiet, top end bar. It probably looked like she was being stood up to the servers, she thought. She was nervous, jittery even. Her leg jigged beneath the small, just-above-knee height circular table she sat close to in the crushed velvet smoker's chair.

It wasn't unlike Olivia to be late for a social function. She was a wallflower, someone who liked to just be in her own space when she was away from work. She didn't cut loose often and always had her mind on her job. It was deflection, Melinda knew, from the torment of her past and of love that she hopelessly wanted but never admitted to.

Melinda was good at reading people, but Olivia only ever gave an inch.

This was going to be different though, she had some news and she wanted to give her colleague-turned-friend fair warning before she was blind-sided.

"Ma'am would you like to order another drink?" a server interrupted her thoughts, taking her empty vodka and lime.

"Sure, another vodka and lime please," she smiled. "Wait, do you guys have Makers Mark or …. Bowmore?" she asked him.

He smiled back, "Definitely Makers Mark, not sure about Bowmore – I could find out if you like?" the young, handsome, but wayyyyy too clean-cut for her liking, guy replied.

"Maker's Mark is fine, I'll have that as well as the vodka and lime, just on the rocks thanks."

"Big night?" he flashed her a cheeky little grin.

"For my friend," she corrected him, not wanting someone to think she was drinking alone on a weeknight.

As he walked away Melinda looked around, she'd hoped to be feeling a little more buzzed by the time Olivia arrived, she wanted the news to come out smoothly, less like she was trying to tell her parents had been pushed off a cliff, but to smile anyway.

She spotted her, she looked cute, maybe a little tiny bit underdressed for this bar, but she always pulled it off. She stood, scanning the room for Melinda wearing a grey, harem-style jumpsuit under a black leather jacket.

Only Olivia could get away with something like that, she thought with a little smile to herself. She lifted her hand to wave at her. Olivia's eyes settled upon the ME and registered her with a smile. She waved back, pulling her hands out of her pockets and made her way over.

Melinda stood to give her a hug. Olivia obliged before sitting down. "This is cosy!" she exclaimed, looking around. "Should have sent me the dresscode brief, though," she laughed, "I feel so under-dressed."

"You look great though," Melinda remarked, "I love your outfit. You look adorable, but then the jacket… it says, I'm adorable, but also don't fuck with me."

They both laughed. "I ordered you a whiskey," Melinda informed her.

"Oh, doctor, are you trying to get me drunk and have your way with me?" she joked.

Melinda chuckled. "If only," she teased.

"Wouldn't want to turn your thing with Fin in to a triangle, wouldn't be fair to me, I'd get no attention from Fin." Olivia continued, winking at her workmate.

"Fin and I?" she asked. "I dunno what you're talking about, girl."

"Oh, c'mon… you and Fin have been dancing this awkward jig for almost ten years."

The server appeared and put down the glasses on the table. Olivia looked up and thanked him and thanked Melinda. "So besides having a boner for Fin that you've been trying to cover up for years, what else is going on?" she asked, taking a slow slip of her whisky, letting it roll around on her tongue for a moment, savoring its smokiness.

Melinda waved her off and laughed. "If I sit around waiting for Fin to make a move, my bones will end up fossilized somewhere in the Lower East Side," she laughed. "But besides that, nothing, I just thought it'd been awhile since we caught up outside of work."

"Right," Olivia replied a little suspiciously but didn't want to make it too obvious in case Melinda genuinely was putting work in to a friendship that was at times weak or at least up and down, depending on how busy they both were.

"You know, I don't have too many friends outside of work, I know it's the same for you – you see too much, you end up distrusting everyone…. I just thought, you're someone I trust, I hope that you feel the same about that with me, so we should… hang out more, you know, that's what friends do."

A small smile spread across Liv's mouth. She didn't have any girlfriends either; it was hard. In her world, women didn't want to hear about rapes and murders and being a trailblazer career-woman. The friends she did have in college were now mothers and enjoyed time with their family's and children and spent their time with nice, shiny things – not constant exposure to morbidity and darkness.

"That's nice, Mel," she replied, "I do feel the same, you're probably right – we're not getting any younger, we understand each other."

"If I have to find another excuse not to go to a superfluous friend's child's birthday party it will be too soon," Melinda rolled her eyes.

"Work is always my go-to, but honestly, besides Fin's grandson's birthday, I don't get the invites anymore, my friendships are only with other police officers or people like you who work in a similar field," she admitted, taking another sip of her drink.

"Jeez," Melinda remarked, leaning back in to the red lounge-y type chair, "work really has messed us up, right? Even if on the surface we feel fine about what we do."

Olivia chuckled lightly. "I'm long done being sad about it," she shrugged. "it is what it is…"

Melinda just smiled and watched her friend drink up. She was starting to feel the hit of her first drink. She wondered just how she was going to bring him up, how Olivia would take the news.

Olivia couldn't help but notice the awkwardness and the tension in the air. She knew there was something Melinda wanted or was worried about telling her at work. As the small talk dissipated, she realized that besides cases, there wasn't a lot to talk about. Neither women were open or happy to discuss emotions or private thoughts the same as other women their own ages were.

"Liv…" she began, her voice trailing.

Here it is, Liv thought, something – a favor, a question, help with an examination. She didn't mind, she just wished it didn't come under the pretense of getting together for a social drink.

"I have something to tell you – you might already know this so… if it's out of line I apologize, but-"

"Wait," Olivia held up her hand, she shook her head a little confused. "is this something I need to be very drunk for?"

The tension seemed to fall from her friend's face. "Maybe…"

Olivia took two long slugs of her whiskey and made a face. She set down the glass with just a tiny bit left. "Okay, go…"

Melinda laughed at her. "Alright…Olivia, I found out something about Elliot yesterday." Olivia's face seemed to shift in to seriousness.

"What about him?" she asked, trying to seem aloof. She hadn't spoken with anyone about Elliot since he left without word. She was sure that she would never heal from the heartbreak he left her with. As with every other pile-on of shit that had occurred in her personal life, she buried it deep down, hoping never to have to face it again.

"He's uhm…" she started, she took a deep breath, "he's coming back to Manhattan in High Crimes…"

"What?" she asked, doing a double take. "Are you serious?" she couldn't hide her shock or surprise. "When? Who told you that?"

"It just been floating around, I also confirmed it with someone from your precinct so, I thought I should tell you first so you're not surprised if he turns up."

Olivia face went slack, as if the news had smarted her. Melinda watched as the color drained from her face. She went quiet, not sure what to say. She looked down at her glass. She took another mouthful, enjoying the burn, adding warmth to her face that was already heating up with her upset.

"Are you okay?" Melinda asked gently, reaching over, placing her hand on Olivia's forearm.

Liv looked up; as if she was surprised her coworker was still sitting there; registering her and realizing she was awaiting a response. Olivia cleared her throat, hoping that along with it, the film of water that covered her eyes would disappear. "Y..yeah…" she stammered.

"Elliot did a really bad thing when he left, Liv, I know we never talked about it, but we didn't have to, I know how much it hurt you."

Olivia rolled her shoulders self-consciously. She shook her head, "If Elliot is coming back that's good for him. He doesn't owe me anything."

"That's the thing, Liv," Melinda countered, "I think he does owe you something. He owes you one hell of an apology. You were so close for eleven years!" she insisted.

Olivia sat back in her chair and shrugged as if she were at a loss for words. She lifted her glass and gave a half-hearted mock-cheers. "And look how that ended."

Melinda felt bad for her friend but she was unsure of how to support her. Olivia was never very open with her emotions – she saved that part of herself for Elliot, Melinda knew for a fact that he was one of the only people that she had ever been truly vulnerable with; it came with the territory – you had to trust the person who you were working with, after all they were responsible for your life.

"Olivia, you didn't deserve how he treated you."

"I can't do this Melinda," Olivia sighed, "I can't let myself go back there…" she rubbed her face. She finished the rest of her drink just as the server passed again. "Can I have another one of these?" she asked.

The waitress smiled and nodded, "sure, I won't be long."

There was some silence that hung between them for a moment as Olivia processed. Melinda wasn't trying to push her for a response. Liv could be a woman of few words when she was bothered or upset. She knew if pushed the issue, Liv would make a hasty exit rather than airing how she felt.

Liv drew in a deep breath and pinched the bridge of her nose and a pained expression settled over her face. She breathed out slowly and deliberately.

"Mother fucker…." She finally blurted out, resolutely. She glanced at Melinda and shook her head slowly, "it's typical, isn't it?" she asked with a laugh that mocked her disbelief, "after 11 years of that kind of closeness where I'd have put my life on the line for him, he just leaves without a trace…. And want's to just wander back in… what the fuck? Was he actually just a closet sociopath that whole time and I didn't know it?"

Melinda was able to find a tiny spark of amusement from Olivia's annoyance, but she didn't let it show. She wanted Olivia to be angry. She deserved to be angry. She didn't want Elliot to think he could just waltz back in to everyones lives and slot himself back in like he didn't offend every single person he had worked with for all those years.

It felt fake; like his friendship and brothership had all been just for show. It left everyone reeling and devastated when he left, but no one more heartbroken than Liv.

"I don't think he was a sociopath but I'm certainly not going to make excuses for him," replied Melinda. "You know how I feel about it all; I said it to you when he left. I can understand if he needed some time after what happened, I know he took it hard, but he could have picked up the phone…"

The server appeared with their drinks and Liv immediately picked up hers and took a mouthful. She swallowed with a wince, ignoring the burn.

She felt her eyes betraying her in the form of two fat tears, mapping their way down her face. She quickly wiped them away with the backs of her hand and took another sip of her drink. "Fuck him," she murmured.

"Fuck him," Melinda repeated. She knew though, that the second Olivia saw him she would fold. She would try to be strong, but Elliot was the only man who was ever able to turn her to mush; to bring out that vulnerability. She loved him so unconditionally, Melinda had seen it.

Liv wiped her eyes again and sniffed. "That prick isn't worth my tears," she said with a sardonic laugh.

"He's not, Liv, but when you do see him, you're allowed to have feelings and be mad and let him know you're mad."

"Thanks…" she murmured.

"You're welcome and you can talk to me about it anytime, you know… the offer is always there."

Liv tried to smile and thanked her again.

So, she thought, Elliot was back and she had no fucking idea how she felt about it. She finished her drink and reached in to her pocket and pulled out a small folded leather purse. She put a couple of twenties down. Melinda went to stop her but Olivia insisted.

"I need to go take a walk… thanks for the heads up, I appreciate it."

She watched Olivia walk out of the bar, looking casual as could be in her grey jumpsuit, wearing it with abandon, not giving a shit that she was dressed down for the place they were at.

She swallowed the rest of her own drink and asked for the cheque.