A/N Hey everyone thanks for all the wonderful review comments. I just wanted to say that no one needs to be hateful toward EO here. We are all adults, we can all like different things and we all have the right to ship what we want. This is just not an EO shipping story but EO issues/angst DOES live here. I don't hate any ship, I just hate the divisiveness it creates between fans - there is no need to hate on something just to upset others, so let's be nicer to each other and respect our own differences. Anyway, that's the last I'll say it: this is not an EO romance fiction.

Also, I will be shortening my updates from here on; I am finding they are taking a very large chunk of time to write and edit and while I am on lockdown its fine, but I will be going back to work soon and run a business and have been studying so I need to use my time more wisely. Smaller updates, but hopefully just as frequently.

Please remember to use your name instead of Guest if you can so I know who to direct my comments to! Let me know what you think!


"Mommy when can we have the cakkkkeeeee!" Elly clutched to the edge of the kitchen counter and hopped excitedly on the spot, her eyes barely seeing over the top of it, looking at the small stack of pastel iced cupcakes.

Olivia leaned over the counter and smiled at her excitement, "soon, I promise."

"But hoowwwww loooooong?" she pressed impatiently.

"Come on honey," Olivia tried to understand her daughter's anxiousness but she was a little fed up with the constant questions.

"Eloise," Trevor appeared from the living room where he had helped Noah hook up his hand-held device to the television. He preferred to see what he was playing anyway. Olivia and Trevor were in agreement that they preferred to know more about what he was doing when he was playing his game given that it was an online game. "I really want you to calm down a little okay? Mommy is trying to get some snacks ready for night with Auntie Ezzie and Uncle Sonny, stop bothering her."

"But Daddyyyy," she whined, looking up at him with her big, green eyes, "I just want a little cupcake…"

"Oh my goodness!" Olivia exclaimed as she was trying so hard to piece together a pretty looking cheese platter, "anyone would think you kids are completely sugar deprived…"

"Mommy," Eloise replied very seriously, trying a different approach, circling the counter and standing at her side. She slid her arms around Olivia's legs, "I just want a baby cake so I can see what the baby is," she looked up at Olivia innocently widening those eyes that she found so hard to say no to.

She held firm though.

"The baby is a baby and you don't need a cupcake to find that out," Olivia replied returning the little girl's sugar-y, sweet smile.

Olivia and Trevor exchanged amused glances. She was nothing if not persistent.

"Okay look," Trevor started, "you're not having a cupcake and that's final, not until everybody is here so stop begging Mommy like a puppy dog, she's busy." He lifted her up. Eloise glanced at her Dad and ruffled her fingers through the short beard that he was growing for no other reason except that he'd run late the past few mornings and hadn't had time to shave. "Your face is alllllll itchy, Daddy," she told him.

Trevor laughed and covered her face in kisses, tickling her with his beard. She giggled her loud, adorable laugh making both himself and Liv laugh as Elly pushed him away half-heartedly. "Why don't you come and sit up at the table and draw Daddy and Mommy a new picture for the refrigerator and then you could draw something for Auntie Ez too. When you're done it will almost be time for them to arrive."

"You can even have a short bit of screen time too," Olivia added. Trevor looked up, surprised.

Olivia shrugged. He knew she was tired and over fighting with her. "I downloaded her some cute little educational games on my iPad. It's only fair, I don't want her playing Minecraft for as long as I can help it…"

"True…" Trevor agreed, hating the very sound of the game Noah was playing in the next room.

"Daddy will you sit with me?" she asked him.

"I'll be in the kitchen helping Mommy right here in front of you…" he nodded to where Olivia was standing. He put her in to her booster seat. "You wait here and I'll get you your pencils and paper."

He set her up and went to check on Noah who was quiet with his game. He had informed Trevor that he was constructing a mansion and was going to blow it up. Trevor still had no idea what the point of the game was, but Noah seemed to enjoy it and loved to show off all the constructions right before he destroyed them.

"Okay, all good." He picked up his phone and opened up his music app and put on some 90s soft rock music and set the phone in to the speaker cradle so that they could listen in the background.

Olivia turned to him and grinned. "Thanks for that… I appreciate it…"

"I appreciate your patience," he replied, coming up behind her, sliding his hands around her waist and planting a kiss on her neck. She leaned back in to him smiling. He was so warm and soothing to be around. "And I love the way you deal with Elly and I can't wait to have our baby in our arms. Your MILF game will be next level."

Olivia laughed. "I'm excited to find out if the promises of changing diapers and getting up in the night with me is going to actually be a thing with you," she chuckled.

"It will," he said with absolute confidence, "I will be there for you. We are a team; none of this is a solo endeavor, I promise."

He kissed the side of her neck again, sensing that she was a little unconvinced. "You believe me?"

"I think so… I just think saying something now when its not 3am and a baby is not screaming with a diaper so full of pasty baby poop that's up it's back and through the crib is one thing, but when it actually happens, its another."

"We'll work it out Liv, don't freak out yet, it's too early for that…" he said with a little laugh, "I promise that I will be here for you. There's no way I'd be sleeping through that anyway – not for at least the first few months when we have the baby in our room."

Olivia set her knife down and turned around to face him. She wrapped her arms around him. "I'm not freaking out, but I want to be realistic."

"Its okay… but I'm realistically telling you that I'll be here for you… you're not a single Mom and you need to let go of the idea that you'll be left for it on your own. We're getting married and that means we unify as one not our own separate teams, Liv… okay?"

She glanced up and met his eyes and saw that he was sincere. She nodded slowly and let a little smile spread across her lips. She reached up and grazed her fingers through the beard. "I think this has to go… it's a bit too long, you're starting to look unkempt."

"I know…" he laughed. "Maybe later, it is getting a little itchy."

"Tonight," she told him resolutely, "before you go back to work. I don't want Kara to think I let you get around looking like Tarzan when you have a couple days off."

They both shared a laugh.

"Okay baby," he agreed, "now what do you need me to do here?"

"Just get some crackers out, I've put everything in the oven that you prepped yesterday so…"

"Awesome. Why don't you go get yourself changed if that's what you still plan on doing, I'll get some things out and text Sonny and get a real ETA. Whenever Ez says she's left you know she's only just began to think about getting dressed and ready."

Olivia laughed because in the short time she'd known Erika, she knew that he was right. She was notoriously late. If she said she was on her way, she was at least 15minutes from leaving.

"Good idea, before Elly explodes with need for sugar," she laughed.

Olivia went to let go of him, but he drew her back. "Hey…" she paused, turning back to him.

"I love you, if you're suddenly feeling a little insecure or scared of how we're going to juggle this, I just want to say that it's okay. It all just became very real today."

She considered his words before she responded immediately. "I'm sorry if it feels like I was doubting you, I wasn't… I just have a lot on my mind but I'm fine, I'm not upset or freaking out or anything, I'm really happy now that we have a few facts in cement. I am a bit anxious to see how the kids will respond."

Trevor enveloped her in to his arms. "We are doing this baby and we are going to smash it because we're a great team," he promised. He kissed her lips softly when she pulled away. "And where we fall short, we will have Erika to help when we are so exhausted we need a couple hours of rest."

"I know, I love you… thanks for saying all that."

"Okay, off you go and let's see how far away this little liar is. I'll tell her the love of her three-year-old niece depends on her arrival."

/

"Oh my gosssshh!" Eloise breathed excitedly as Olivia set the cupcakes down on the table.

"She does not care a single bit about whether she is getting a brother or a sister," Erika laughed, "she is alllll focused on the cake."

They laughed, "Keep your hands to yourself, no touching yet, you've been so good and patient," Olivia praised her. "Daddy and I are so proud of you both for waiting so nicely." Olivia smiled at Noah who sat comfortably on Erika's lap while Eloise leaned forward on Sonny's.

They hadn't worried much about making sure the kids had dinner first. They'd let them split a cupcake and then eat something before they brought dinner out.

"Okay," Trevor began once Olivia had sat back down, "listen up… we are going to find out if you are going to have a brother or a sister," he told them. "So you both are going to get some help from Auntie Erika, and you're going to cut the cake together and if the cake is blue inside then that means…." he motioned to Noah for the answer.

"It means I will have a brother," Noah said, understanding that the cake was a big surprise.

"Right!" Trevor smiled, "And Elly, if the cake is pink inside, what do you think that will mean?" he asked her.

"Ummmmm," she stared at him and looked to Olivia for help, "the cake will be strawberry!"

They began to laugh but Noah cut in, "noooo, it means we'll have a sister!" he said with frustration.

"Its okay, babe," Olivia said to him, "Elly is only little, she doesn't understand as well as you do."

"Perfect, if it's pink it means you'll have a sister if the cake is pink," Trevor confirmed.

"Which one is it gonna be, guys!?" Sonny asked the kids.

"PINK!" Eloise and Noah shouted at the same time.

"Okay well let's find out," Olivia smiled, handing a knife to Erika. She felt Trevor take her hand over the tabletop. She smiled at him knowingly.

Erika organized the two little hands beneath hers around the knife. She looked up and flashed her brother and sister-in-law a grin, silently thanking them for involving her in such a wonderful moment.

"Ready…" she said softly to the kids, "one, two...three…" she pressed the knife in to the cupcake and let it cut right to the bottom of the plate. The smaller side of the cupcake fell over revealing a blue cake-y inside.

Erika felt her eyes fill with tears as the kids oohed, specifically Eloise. "Congratulations you guys!" she told Trevor and Liv. She turned to the kids, "you guys are gonna be a big brother and a big sister to a little boy, isn't that exciting?!"

Eloise nodded but Noah looked a little stoic about it.

"Wait, before you eat that cake, baby, let Daddy and Mommy take a picture of you and Noah and Auntie Erika and Uncle Sonny..." Olivia suggested, pulling her phone out. She could see immediately Noah was unhappy and probably on the cusp of crying – he wasn't the kind of kid that cried willingly in front of other people besides her or Trevor, so she knew he was holding back.

She took the picture painlessly with Noah trying his best to look happy.

"Which cake can I eat?" Eloise asked, "hey does this mean a baby boy will come to my house?" she asked, looking from her parents and back to Sonny.

"That's exactly what it means," Sonny replied with a little laugh. "You can eat this piece of cake, I'll cut it so you and Noah have the same size bit." Erika opted, putting a little bit of cake on a small plate and setting it before her. "Noah would you like your cake?" she asked.

He shook his head.

"Hey bud," Trevor smiled at him, "do you want to help me with something in the other room?" he asked him. Trevor glanced to Liv. The adults understood that he was unhappy.

Noah shook his head and sat stoically, trying very hard to stop the stinging of tears in his eyes. "What about me, will you help me with something?" Olivia asked him. She stared her beautiful blue-eyed boy in the eyes and watched them fill with a clear film of water. He finally nodded.

"Okay, come on…" she smiled. "Guys, we will be right back, keep an eye on that little cake monster for me!" she chuckled at Eloise who had an entire piece of cake filling her mouth as if she were afraid someone might take it from her.

"Elly!" Trevor exclaimed making a face.

"Leave her alone, Trev, she's excited!"

Trevor watched Olivia take Noah's hand and walk him in to the living room. "We thought that this might happen," he said softly, "he really wanted another sister."

"Why?" Carisi asked, "I would have loooooved a brother when I was a kid, so much better than being surrounded by girls when you're all teenagers…" he told them.

Trevor laughed. "I think it's a little concern for his and my relationship. He's worried about being second best."

"Oh the poor little thing," Erika pouted, "I can relate to that."

Her brother rose his eyebrow, "Are you kidding? As if they loved me more… I couldn't even get a look in after you were born," he laughed.

"Yeah and now who's the failure…" she replied bitterly, "in fact, I think she actively despises me – but not you, not the great Trevor; she even refers to you still as my Trevor … it's gross, you're a grown man."

"Come on—"

"Seriously," Erika dropped her smile, "Mom cares so little about me these days. She even told me-" she stopped when she felt Sonny's hand on her knee; gentle but allowing her to know that she was becoming worked up, "no, let's not get in to this…" she turned to Eloise and felt herself calm, "the main thing is that you'll always treat these kids as equal and I know you, I wouldn't expect anything less."

Trevor let it go too. He just nodded, "I love that kid in there, he is the sweetest and I would never treat him second to anyone."

"I know," Erika gave him a smile.

/

"Sweetheart, tell Mommy what's wrong," Olivia suggested to him. She sat down on the couch and drew him closer. "Are you sad about having a baby brother?"

He shook his head, no.

She scooped him up on to her lap. "Come on, you can do better than that, I've told you that you've gotta be honest with me and Dad."

He said nothing and cuddled Olivia. She held him tight. "Babe, its okay to be sad – these are big, big, big changes!"

Noah pulled away and wiped his eyes. Olivia's heart broke when she saw the silent tears falling down his cheeks. He was trying so hard not to show his upset. "Tell me…"

"I don't want to make you sad with me Mommy," he said softly.

It was like a knife to her, his words twisting it in to her skin. "I'll never get upset with you for telling me your feelings, my love," she wiped his tears and kissed his temple. "Are you happy living here with Daddy and Elly?" she asked, thinking maybe their living arrangement was bothering him.

He nodded. "I love Daddy and Elly."

"Are you scared of things changing with a new brother?"

He nodded again. She took his little face in her hands "Are you scared that Dad and I won't have as much time for you?"

"A little bit," he replied. "when the baby comes Daddy and I won't be able to have Dude Day he will be too busy."

Olivia couldn't help but to smile. Dude Day was something Trevor had started as a little joke with Noah instead of father-and-son time, he thought it sounded cooler and clearly Noah was too young to see the goofiness in it. It was the time they spent on the weekend without Olivia and Eloise.

She wanted to tell the truth and not pretend like nothing would change because neither she nor Trevor knew whether or not things would stay the same or how much time their baby was going to take up. "Honey, at first things might be a little bit busy because the baby will be very, very little and it might take up time but Daddy will find the time to spend with you and Eloise. Instead of having Dude Day at first, you could help me by holding your little brother and helping him feed with a bottle or you could help Daddy cook and clean a little bit and Eloise is going to need help too."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because she is so little and she doesn't understand what it will be like to have a baby brother, so you're going to have to teach her about him. You already know lots more about babies by spending time with Jessie and Billie!"

Noah nodded. Olivia looked up to see Trevor making his way in. "Am I interrupting?" he wondered. Olivia looked to Noah, wanting him to answer. "Can I talk too?" he directed his question at the little boy.

"Yes."

Trevor sat down. "First of all, I am in need of a huge hug because my hug energy is really low," he told Noah dramatically. "And I hate it when my hug energy gets low. You think you can help?"

Olivia hid her look of absolute adoration for her man. Noah held his arms out and Trevor embraced him, pulling him in to his lap. "Ooooofftt don't squeeze me too hard, you'll make noises come out of me!"

"And nobody likes that!" Olivia exclaimed with a little laugh.

Noah giggled, squeezing Trevor harder. He made sound effects, making the little boy laugh, winning him over with toilet-humor never, ever failed him.

"Come on, Trevor, I thought you were more distinguished than that," Olivia teased.

"I'm a low-brow surprise," he winked. "Now listen," he turned his attention to Noah, pulling away, "I am really worried that you are sad about having a brother because you think that Mom and I will have less time for you or might even feel different about you… is that how you feel?"

"Only sometimes…" Noah admitted.

"Well…" Trevor replied, "you're going to be a great older brother and nobody is going to think you're any less important than any other boys in this family – or girls for that matter," he told him firmly, "you know who else was an older brother?"

"Who?" Noah asked.

"Me!" Trevor pointed a thumb at himself, "and I was scared at first when my Mom and Dad said they were having another kid, I thought they were crazy! Who wants a stinky baby with poop diapers everywhere!"

Noah giggled.

"But Auntie Erika stopped pooping her diapers – well, I think she did anyway, maybe she still does wear poopy diapers, you should probably ask her—" Olivia shoved him but couldn't help but love the way he was instantly charming and making her son laugh. He was a great Dad. "and anyway, she was so much fun! I got to help my Mom take care of her, I got to push her in her carrier – I got to make her laugh and teach her fun things and …" he lowered his voice, "even naughty things, like how to sneak cookies for me!"

"Did you love her?"

"Did I love my sister!?" he exclaimed as if it was an incredulous thing to ask, "yes! I still love her, my sister, your auntie Erika, she is my best friend after Mom of course. And I still get to look after her because even though she's a grown up, she will always be my baby sister."

"Okay," Noah nodded, "so when my brother is born I can help and you and Mommy will still play with me and Eloise and help us with our work and read bedtime stories?"

Trevor nodded, "you bet! Nothing will change how much we love you and Eloise; but we might just be a little bit more busy but that just means you can be involved too."

"Okay," Noah accepted their answer.

"Now, this is never going to happen again after today, but would you like to eat your cake now? I think if you say no again, the little cake monster, Elly, is going to snuffle it up and you won't get any. The frosting is already up her nose – do you know how silly your sister looks with yellow frosting up her nose?!"

Noah began to laugh and slipped off Trevor's lap and ran out to see.

"Oh my gosh I fucking love you." Olivia laughed, "you just made him laugh from the second you sat down, that's a talent. We're a fucking A-Team," she told him, "we are killing it and we are going to smash it as parents to a newborn."

"AUNTIE ERIKKAAAAA, DADDY SAID YOU MIGHT STILL POOP YOUR DIAPER!" Trevor cracked up as Noah's voice carried from one room to the next.

"Oh boy…" Olivia shook her head, a grin spreading across her face.

Trevor eyed her with an impish, cheeky smile, his nose grazing hers for a moment, nudging her slightly to the side before kissing her lips. "We are the best," he kissed her again.

He held up his hand to give her a high-five. "Good hustle, team," he winked.

She laughed, slapping his hand with all of her might until they both flinched from the sting. Laughing, they made their way back in to the kitchen to feed their guests.

/

"Can I tell you something, Cap?" Carisi asked, coming in to her office and closing the door behind him.

She stared at the message from Elliot on her phone with a little bit of irate. Heard the big news, congratulations Olivia. I hope Trevor treats you the way you deserve. All the best. El.

She wondered who had told him – only one person she could think of with a big mouth worked in her team. She glanced up at Carisi.

"Sure…personal or work-related?" she wondered, putting her phone down.

Carisi crossed the room to sit down in the chair opposing his boss's desk. "Well, actually both. There's two things."

"Go for it…" Olivia smiled at him, giving him her full attention.

"Well… I don't wanna tattle but I just want to warn you – I heard two people talking about you and Trev and it wasn't exactly …" he paused, "I mean, it wasn't bad, it was just questioning your choices and whether or not you're about to have a shot-gun wedding."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Let me guess, Fin and Elliot," she replied. She felt irate that she was now always second-guessing Fin's loyalty. It was the second time she had caught him out gossiping about her.

"Close. Fin and Amanda. I'm just telling you because they should have your back, especially Fin."

She shrugged, "Thanks for telling me Sonny but don't worry. Fin and I have a very long history. I know in his own messed up way, he's worried but I'm a grown-ass adult… don't worry about it, I already knew he was running his mouth."

"Okay, I just need you to know that my loyalty is always with you, Cap."

She smiled. "Thank you."

"The other thing… and I dunno, you can tell me to work it out on my own, but… I just need to pick your brain about something."

"Okay…" she listened. The creases on his forehead showed his concern and she knew immediately it was to do with Erika. "Is it about Erika?"

He nodded. "I feel weird about coming to you with this, but… I don't really know who else to hash it out with."

"Its okay Sonny," she said gently, "I'll be as honest as I can be and if I think it's something that you need to speak to Erika about rather than me, I'll tell you that too."

"Erika admitted that she can't have children and I know it was a huge deal for her…" he told Liv. "But ever since – any time any type of slight misunderstanding or situation where we are frustrated with one another, she pushes me away and she won't believe me when I say that I am confident that we can work it out if she truly does want to be a Mom."

Olivia smiled fondly thinking of Erika acting out in almost the same way that she had when things got a little complicated in the beginning stages of a relationship. "Not being able to have biological children is a big deal to some people and in some cases men aren't immediately ready to think about that so they say it doesn't matter but when they decide they want to settle down, it begins to matter – Erika had that happen and she was put through it in a pretty brutal way and I think she has scars and you need to be patient."

"Olivia, I'm almost 37. I am ready to settle down. Would it be disappointing for me to not have children?" he asked rhetorically, throwing his hands up, "sure, it really would be – but how do I know I'm going to meet someone else who makes me feel like Erika? I probably won't and I know this because I thought Amanda was it – and we can ignore the elephant in the room as much as we want," he continued, "but I got my heart broken on more than one occasion and then I walk through your door and meet Ez and …" he shook his head and shrugged, "and all bets are off and there's that chemistry, you know?"

"Oh, I know…" she laughed. "I saw it. I was there, remember."

They laughed.

"Sonny, be persistent and be gentle with her heart… and if you decide not being able to have children is a deal breaker for you, you need to decide that now, not in 4 months time," she told him, "because while its totally understandable that that is something you need, it would be cruel if you let it go further."

"Liv, I don't care about not having kids – I want kids, yes, but there are other ways, you showed me that and I know when the time is right, Erika and I will emphatically run at that avenue—I'd be stupid to throw this away – she's perfect for me and honestly, it's nice to be closer with you and Trevor too, two people I look up to so much – sometimes more than my own parents."

Olivia was able to smile. "Thanks Sonny. I'm so happy its working out for you both."

"Me too…"

He sighed, "Okay, I've got a witness coming in. Fin said there's a child you're going over to see at Organized Crime—is there not someone else who can talk to her?" he asked, protective of his boss.

"Elliot and his partner want me to do it—she won't talk to them." Olivia replied.

"If you want me to come, I can… I'm just getting a signature from the witness…."

"No, its alright, I'll be fine, thanks Sonny."

They both got up. Olivia grabbed her keys and her phone and they both headed out of the office.

/

"Well, well, well… look who it is, the woman of the hour," Elliot smiled. Olivia knew the smile better than anyone – nostrils slightly flared as if he was having a hard time keeping his mouth closed. And she was sure that he was.

"Thank you," she replied.

"Wow," he nodded toward her stomach, "you're getting big since last time I saw you," he remarked.

"Yes, that's what happens when you're pregnant, you get bigger." she replied, unamused, to-the-point and wanting to get the interview with the child over with.

Elliot picked up on it and dropped the subject, "the child's name is Lily, she's 6 and she's a witness to a hit. Sanchez' little yes men are doing some house cleaning, getting rid of anything and anyone who might be inclined to speak," he briefed her as she followed him along to the interview room.

She saw the little girl sitting with a coloring book, ignoring all of the pencils in front of her, just staring blankly. "Seriously, you kept her in this sterile room on her own?" Olivia rolled her eyes. "Where's the lounge?" she asked him.

"She's only just come in, she's only been in here a second," he said quickly, realizing he'd somewhat lost his touch in the years since SVU.

"Still, as if this isn't scary enough, come on, Elliot, you should know better," she sighed.

"He pointed down the hall, "last door on the right. There might be someone in three having lunch."

"So go and tell them to get out and get me a blanket or something warm for her," she ordered him.

Olivia didn't let him say another word, she opened the door and walked in. Sometimes having it was hard to deal with child victims given that she was constantly reminded of her own kids. She managed most of the time to switch it off, but sometimes it was a little too much.

"Hi there," she smiled warmly at the little girl, trying her best to seem open and approachable. The little girl looked up at her. She didn't say anything.

"It's a little cold in here, isn't it?" she remarked, making the motion to hug herself as if she was shivering. "My name is Olivia, what's your name?" she went to the child's side and squatted as best as she could on her haunches realizing that without using the table, there was no way she was able to get back up again with her belly.

Her tone was soft and inviting and the little girl briefly glanced at her again. "Lily," she replied.

"Just like the flower…" Olivia smiled at her, "Lily, would you like to come down the hall with me in to a warmer room? It's too cold in here for me. Are you cold too?"

The little girl nodded.

"Okay…" Olivia clutched the edge of the table and pulled herself back up to her feet.

She stretched her hand out to the little girl. "You could hold my hand if you like, it's probably a little bit scary in here with all of the police, isn't it?" she asked her.

The little girl didn't say a word. Her hand clutched Liv's tightly. She walked her out of the interview room and down the hall, meeting with Elliot. She felt a second hand on Olivia's wrist, getting closer to her, her small body pressing against her legs.

"Lily, you met my friend Elliot before, didn't you?" she asked her, pausing. Taking a large NYPD sweat shirt from him that he had found for her.

Lily nodded. "Elliot is going to get you a little snack to eat and a drink. Would you like some juice or…. a little bit of soda or even a hot cocoa?"

"Juice," she murmured, all but burying her face in to Liv's blazer.

"Okay, no problem," Elliot smiled at the little girl, "I'll get that for you."

"Thank you Elliot," Olivia made a show of her manners and the little girl parroted her words.

She took her to the empty lounge and told her should take a seat. "I have this warm sweatshirt for you, sweetheart, would you like to put it on, or you could just put it around you."

The girl looked at it for a moment. "Thank you," she said again.

Olivia scrunched the sweater up from the hem, finding the neck hole. She popped it over the little girl's head and let her find her own armholes and helped her pull it down. She gave her an encouraging smile. "it's really big, isn't it?" she flashed her a warm smile.

Finally, Lily smiled back. She nodded in agreement.

"Its really big but its okay, it's doing the job isn't it? Are you warm?"

"Yes," Lily replied.

"Okay great…" she took a seat beside the child on the soft-cushioned couch. "Lily, I want to ask you a few questions – would that be okay?" she asked. "You can ask me some questions too if you like."

"Are you a Mommy?" she asked in a voice so soft that Olivia had to ask her to repeat herself.

"I am a Mommy," she smiled. "I have a little boy your age and I have a daughter who is three and…" she touched her stomach, "I am going to have a baby soon." The child's eyes were drawn to Olivia's pregnant belly.

"Lily, do you know what happened to your Mommy and Daddy?"

She nodded and looked down. "The bad man…"

Olivia needed to tread gently, "I know it's very scary, but did you see the bad man?" she wondered.

She nodded, pulling the sweat shirt around her, tucking her knees beneath her chin.

"Do you think you could tell me what he looks like, Lily? It's very important because I want to make sure this bad man goes to jail."

Olivia asked her a bunch of questions to narrow down the features of the criminal. Elliot came in and delivered a drink to the child and also a plate of some crackers and some M&Ms.

"CPS is arriving soon," he told Liv softly.

"Katie?" she asked, hoping it was one of the officers that she was familiar with.

He nodded.

Olivia asked the child a few more questions. "Lily, my friend Katie is going to arrive very soon and she's very nice and you're going to go with her and she is going to get you some nice warm clothes and you can have something to eat and she will get you taken care of until your Mommy gets better, okay?"

Lily nodded.

"Thank you so much for helping me, you did so good!"

She glanced up, hearing a voice and noticed the CPS officer coming toward the door. She and Olivia exchanged smiles. "Hi Katie," she lifted her hand to wave.

"Hi Olivia."

"Hi Lily." Lily looked up at the tiny blonde woman dressed in smart but casually in a pair of fitted jeans and a professional top. She was one of the nicest CPS officer's she'd dealt with. She liked to look relatable to the children so that they weren't put off by her a skirt suit. It made her look less sterile.

"Lily, this is my friend Katie that I told you about… you're going to go with her now and she's going to talk to you about your Mommy."

Lily stared at Olivia for a moment, almost as though she didn't want to go. "Okay," she said softly, her eyes filling with tears.

"Oh honey," Katie squatted down beside her, "it's alright, I know it's scary and Olivia is so nice, isn't she?" Katie looked at Liv and flashed her a smile. "But guess what? Your Mommy is going to be fine, but she's going to need a few days to recover in the hospital so I'm here to help look after you until she is well."

"Okay," she wiped her eyes with the heels of her palms. Olivia passed Katie a tissue who helped the child wipe her face.

"Its okay if you're scared and feeling alone but I'm not going to leave your side. We are going to go back to my office and we are going to get some food and some clothes and figure out where you can sleep tonight – I promise I won't let anything bad happen to you."

"Okay," Lily nodded.

Olivia was taken by surprise when the little girl hugged her on her way out. It made her remember why she loved her job and why she was so good at her job.

/

"Liv, you got a minute?" Elliot asked as Olivia wrote the notes down on a piece of paper for him and was about to leave them on his desk.

"I've got to get back," she replied without looking at him, "I'm off the clock at 4 and I have to pick up Elly," she replied.

Elliot looked at his watch, it was only 2 o'clock. "You can't spare 15 minutes for me?" he asked, knowing that she was trying to avoid him.

She stared down his blue eyes for a moment and eventually sighed. "Fine. What is it?"

He led them back to the lounge and shut the door behind them. "Do you want a coffee?"

"I'm pregnant, I can't have coffee," she replied with irritation, not in the mood for his bullshit. "What do you want Elliot?" she asked bluntly.

He took a seat at the table and Liv sat on the arm of the couch that was closest to the door. "I just want to see how you're going… I feel like you've been avoiding me for weeks since we saw each other at Kat's party."

"Because I have been, damn it, Elliot, read the room," she snapped.

She didn't want to talk to him.

After spending time with Erika, Olivia realized that her feelings of anger hadn't been resolved; they were still bottled up and seeing Elliot only made it feel worse. She wasn't entirely sure that she had the emotional capacity to deal with it if it exploded while she was pregnant and extra hormonal.

"Liv, I just… I miss my friend…"

She crossed her arms defensively across her chest. "Oh my God…" she remarked under her breath as she stared up at the ceiling as if help was about to present itself, "give me the strength," she muttered. She took a deep breath.

"Do you know what sick of hearing?" she wondered. She didn't give him the chance to answer, "I miss my friend, I chose my family, I couldn't call you, I hope we can be friends again, I don't want Trevor to hurt you – fuck you, Elliot, not once have you asked me a single thing about my life since you left that I haven't volunteered myself."

He said nothing, it pained him to realize immediately that she was right. "Do you not think those were valid reasons that I gave you?" he asked gently.

"Do I think those were valid reasons…" she said quietly and deliberately as if she wanted to be sure that she heard correctly or as if she were mulling over the question.

"Yeah," she said finally, "I think some of them were valid reasons, Elliot, but I'm not mad that you left, I'm not mad that you chose your family and I'm not even fucking mad that you want to be my friend again – what hurts me beyond repair is the fact that you never once picked up the phone. You didn't explain any of this at the time. Shit…" she was determined not to become emotional, "you openly admitted that you knew about that …" she was so angry already that she almost used his name for the first time since the trial, "that monster who attacked me and you still didn't pick up the phone and instead you gave me some bitch of an excuse about how it might have harmed you to hear my voice."

He looked at his hands.

They sat in silence for a moment. Olivia wiped away a single tear that escaped.

"I don't want you to rush in to marrying Trevor just because you're mad at me," he said finally, "I know you think I don-"

"Go and fuck yourself, Elliot – you think I'm marrying Trevor to make you jealous?" she asked shocked that he had dared suggest it and furthermore that he thought that he had the right to question it, "you think that I'm rushing in to this all in an effort to spite you, this one perfect Elliot Stabler that thinks Olivia Benson was just too hopelessly in love with to ever move on from?" she laughed sardonically. "Lose your fucking ego, Stabler."

"Olivia—you only started dating him when you found out I was back, Fin told me."

"Fin needs to mind his fucking business!" she snapped. "I don't have feelings for you anymore, Elliot. I had mixed feelings about you returning – I missed you. I wanted to see your face but as soon as I saw you I remembered the hurt and that eclipsed any residue feelings of nostalgia."

"Hurt doesn't erase feelings."

"Oh my god," she groaned with anger, "why is it so fucking hard for you to get your brain around!?" she asked, glaring at him. "We played this stupid game of emotional infidelity for years without saying a single word about our feelings in any capacity," she told him. "I still don't even know what those feelings were!"

She scratched her forehead, the tension in her neck began to rise, "quite frankly, my life was so starved of human contact, affection and love that I could have caught feelings for a hobo if he expressed any one of those things to me."

"Liv-"

"No!" she snapped angrily over the top of him, "I'm talking now, you've said enough, you've talked about you enough!"

He closed his mouth again.

"My mother treated me with contempt my whole life, I never told you how bad it was and you never asked because Elliot Stabler only cares about Elliot Stabler," she informed him. "Any man that ever showed attention to me, you drove them away because you didn't want me but you didn't want anyone else to want me… My brother walked out of my life as soon as he walked in – you even once commented on me having abandonment issues!" she told him, "and then—the one person who's friendship meant the most to me, the man who I saw as family, the most important person at that time in my life - he did the same thing but did it on a much larger scale..." she let her voice trail off as she was reduced to a whisper, wiping away the tears.

"You abandoned me too and you did it so cleanly, so stealthily that it felt like a calculated, cold-blooded crime of someone who was setting out to break another person's heart. As if you didn't know that's what you would cause." She paused, "What do you think that does to a person?"

"But I-"

"I am not fucking done!" she exploded, her voice raising to a shout. "You will hear me this one time Elliot, because after this we are never speaking about it again."

"I was kidnapped, tormented, assaulted and tortured beyond any thing that you could ever imagine for four days straight. I prayed he would end my life but I also prayed harder that you would show up – in fact I knew you would show up because that's what Elliot Stabler does…but four days in, I realized that hope for you was lost and that if I wanted to live, I had to stop living in hope for you but for myself." She stopped to wipe her eyes.

"I saved myself, Elliot and I'm glad that I did because I proved to myself that I didn't need you then and I definitely don't need you now…"

Olivia saw him wipe his eyes and she was glad. She hoped that he was hurting.

"But yet… Like an idiot, I still kind of expected a phone call. And then it happened again, he came back for me and assaulted me again in front of a fucking CHILD!" she rose her voice and stood up, "forced me to play Russian roulette and then killed himself right in front of me and I still have that image repeating itself every fucking day in my head, Elliot," she felt herself losing control, she leaned over, getting in his face, "AND you still couldn't pick up the damn phone!" she shouted at him as the tears ran down her cheeks.

"You left me with the fear of allowing a single person to get close to me because the hurt of them leaving me is too much to bear and he left me with the kind of gripping, terrifying PTSD and night terrors that you couldn't even begin to imagine and I still can't trust anyone to share those details for fear that they could leave…" her voice dropped back down to a monotone.

She was tired and angry and upset.

"So Elliot the pain that you brought my life, in a way parallels the pain that he brought my life… isn't that funny?" she asked, but she didn't laugh. She started walking toward the door but stopped and turned back around.

"If you're wondering why I am not running flat at the opportunity for us to reunite as friends or whatever else you have in your brain that I might feel for you, that's why. You slot in to my life somewhere beside the violent, murderer who inflicted the kind of inner turmoil that I will never recover from… And just like the pain from him, I won't be able to get past the pain caused by the person who claimed to love and care for me while simultaneously abandoning me because his fucking ego was more important than a phone call."

She stared at him for a moment, her eyes burned in to his pools of blue. "And since you seem so worried about my relationship with Trevor – I'll tell you this. He's always been one-hundred percent about me. He's sat with me through the PTSD episodes, he's seen me raw like no one else has," she listed off all of her fiance's amazing qualities that, when said out loud, she only loved him more.

"He doesn't want me to keep my feelings to myself like you did. He is patient and kind with my son. He has given me a daughter and a baby and he makes me laugh harder than I've laughed before. He puts my needs first, always and I love him in a way that I've never ever felt and in turn, Trevor loves me unconditionally and I know inherently," she paused and placed her hand over her heart, "deep down within me, that even if things get hard… he won't walk away and leave me like you and every other man in my life has. He is made of stronger stuff than that."

She pulled the door open, "so you and Fin can stop gossiping about my life like teenage girls and stay the fuck out of it."

She didn't look back.

She let the door slam closed behind her and she made her way quickly out of the station before anyone could see her breaking down.

She plucked her phone out of her pocket and texted Carisi. "Should have taken you with me. I'm going across to see Trevor, can you grab the case file on my desk and follow up and apologize that I couldn't call today but am happy to call her tomorrow if necessary. Thanks."

She closed it off and opened Trevor's contact, "Baby are you at the office, I need to see you. I'm coming."

She hailed a cab and got in and gave the driver the address. She realized immediately she didn't have her purse. "Fuck!" she cursed, they'd already pulled away.

She opened up her phone and saw that Trevor had replied, "Sure am, baby, you okay?"

"I will be the second that I see your face. Also, I forgot my purse its back at the precinct can you come downstairs because I'm in a cab and…. I don't want to have to run from the cab driver in boots while pregnant straight in to the ADAs office."

She was able to smile fondly as she saw the bubble and the ellipses that signified that he was replying.

"I suppose I could, but I really would like to see you running from an angry cabbie. Just kidding sweetie, I'll come down and wait for you now. Love you so much."

She breathed a contended sigh and sat back with relief.

/

Trevor saw the cab pull up. He made his way to the cab driver's door and handed him a card. He nodded toward Olivia in the passenger side, "she forgot her purse…"

The driver laughed, "oh her man to the rescue," he joked as Olivia got out and met walked behind the car to Trevor's side.

"She doesn't need a man to rescue her, she could have outrun you," he winked at her. They laughed as the driver handed his card back to him. They said thank you and Trevor took Liv's hand and walked her through his office.

He knew immediately that something was wrong. Her face was tense and her make up was a little bit smudged so he knew she had been crying. "What happened?" he asked as soon as he closed his office door.

"I just need you to hold me…" she murmured. "I don't know if I can talk about it right this second."

"Okay," he replied. He wanted to know, he wondered if it was a work situation. Still, he slid his arms around her and drew her close and enveloped her in a firm embrace. He felt her relax slowly and then he could sense her tears.

"Are you crying, baby?" he asked softly.

She felt his hand on the back of her head, stroking her hair. The gesture of affection was one that came involuntarily to him, nothing he actively and deliberately had to prompt himself to do. The thought of his gentleness and the gravity of just how much she loved him and just how much he loved her in return seemed to hit her.

It was okay, she told herself, she could be vulnerable, Trevor was her safe space.

She began to come undone.

"Its okay baby," he murmured in against her hair, tightening his grip around her. "Whatever it is, it'll be okay, I love you—" he wasn't sure what was going on, but guessed it was probably a case. Since she'd been pregnant she'd often been more sensitive about cases. She hadn't been this upset though, he thought. "It's okay," he repeated, feeling her body shaking against him.

"Honey, it makes me so sad when I don't know why you're upset," he said softly, stroking her hair, resting his cheek on top of her head. He kissed her. He let her calm down.

There was a knock on the door and it opened without waiting for an answer. Olivia felt herself freeze.

"Hi Kara," Trevor said softly, looking at his boss who stood in the doorway looking a little startled. Olivia went to pull away but Trevor held her in to place. He smiled weakly.

"I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to intrude, I'll come back," she said quickly.

"Thanks," he replied.

Olivia pulled away the second she heard the door close. "I'm sorry," she apologized.

"No, its fine, do not apologize – ever." He took her face in his hands and smoothed her wet cheeks with his thumbs. She sniffed and avoided his eyes. "Are you okay?" he asked, checking with her.

She nodded. "I should go back to work-"

"Let me get my coat and bag and I'll walk you back to the precinct and you can get your things, I think you can take the afternoon off… you've obviously had a rough day."

"Kara?" she supplied.

"Right. Take a seat at my desk…" he motioned for her to sit in his desk chair. He passed her his drink bottle. "Have some water…" he smiled and leaned over as she sat. He kissed her temple. "I love you…" he told her.

"I love you too," she replied, grabbing a Kleenex from his desk and dabbing beneath her eyes, trying to calm herself down.

"I'll just be a moment."

/

"Do you want to talk about it?" Trevor asked as they walked slow, hand-in-hand.

Olivia was quiet and thoughtful. "When I was with your sister for the night last week we discussed Elliot in relation to the whole Carisi and Amanda situation—and she asked me about how I knew it was over and it got me realizing that the hurt and the anger is still sitting inside of me and every time I see Elliot he is pushing for a friendship—" she stopped, feeling Trevor's demeanor change, his body tensed.

She placed her hand upon his bicep, feeling her eyes film over again, "Please don't get weird about this…" she dared to glance up at him and instantly he felt guilty for the way he'd let his own insecurity bother him. Her eyes were covered by a layer of tears, "I don't want to tell you any of it if you're going to get weird."

"I'm sorry, I don't like that he's pressuring you for friendship if that's not what you want…"

Olivia fell silent. She didn't feel like consoling him, she bravely blinked the stinging of her tears away,. "I don't want to talk about it… let's just get my things and go home," she replied, suddenly feeling worse as they approached the precinct.

"Liv, no wait… I'm really sorry-" she let go of his hand and walked ahead of him, angry. He followed behind and as she walked through she spotted Fin sitting at his desk. She pointed at him, "You! My office!"

Trevor hung behind, exchanging glances with Carisi who had seemed surprised to see him. Everyone could hear the anger in her voice. She slammed the door shut behind her and Fin, avoiding the eyes of everyone, followed, opening her office door and closing it gently after himself.

"Yikes…" Amanda remarked. "She is in a mo-od."

"Don't," Trevor replied bluntly as he took a seat beside Carisi where Kat usually sat.

"Is Liv okay?" Carisi asked.

"I'm not sure, I'm guessing she's had a rough afternoon," Trevor replied. He decided to change the subject. "How's my little sister?" he wondered, "still being a pain in the ass?"

He couldn't help but smile to himself when he caught Amanda rolling her eyes. She got up and made herself scarce.

/

"What'd I do?" Fin asked.

"There is something going on here and I don't like it," she said. "You and I have been working together a long time, Fin, I feel like you're my family. Elliot Stabler walks through the fucking door and suddenly you think it's okay to go and shit-talk Trevor and my relationship behind my back?" she asked him. "Do you not think I've gone through enough betrayal?"

He sighed, "Olivia,"

"Sure, I'm Olivia, but I'm also your Captain, don't get it twisted. You sat there with him and gossiped about my dating life, about—about him and your concerns for this relationship like it fucking concerns you! Be a professional and above all else, if I'm your friend like you claim that I am, the fucking treat me like it," it was probably the harshest words she'd fired off, "just do better."

Fin didn't know what to say.

He knew she was furious and he knew that she had a point. She wasn't waiting for a response, though. She grabbed her handbag, her purse and everything else she needed and left him sitting in her office, turning off the light as she walked out.

She glanced at Trevor, "let's go." She turned to face her team, "I trust everyone can work autonomously for a few hours. I'm going to get my kids from school."

Everyone knew it was a lie, it wasn't even near pick up time. Trevor waved at Carisi and followed Olivia out.

/

"Sweetie," Trevor shook Olivia gently. She jumped awake, startled despite his softness toward her. "Sorry, sweetie," he said, "I just think you should wake up and have something to eat."

"I'm not hungry," she replied, barely opening her eyes.

He knew she was feeling blue. She had got in to bed after work, refusing to speak to him and asked him to get the kids on his own. He'd tried talking to her but she asked him to give her some space.

"Please, Liv, please don't be mad at me for earlier. I am so sorry for being macho but I was just feeling protective because I know how he makes you feel guilty and I just don't think you need to be apologetic."

"That's the point Trevor," she murmured, "I wasn't apologetic and I wanted to tell you because you said I could tell you – but I don't want you to get weird about it."

"I'm so sorry, you didn't make me feel weird, telling me he's trying to force a friendship despite you telling me you've said you're not really that interested made me feel angry and protective."

She accepted it his response.

"But it wasn't the right thing to react the way I did. I am really sorry for that."

"Its okay…" she replied.

"Please come down and at least sit with the kids and I, even if you don't want to eat. They miss Mommy…" it wasn't a lie. The kids had been bothering him to wake her up since school.

"Okay," she replied despite the fact that he could tell she really wanted to stay in bed but her parental responsibilities always took priority over her own needs.

"Do you want me to get you a drink or something else to eat?" she knew he'd made the kids their favorite chicken nuggets and mashed potatoes.

"No thanks," she shook her head.

"Baby, let me give you a hug, you really look like you need another one," he offered. She sat forward and relinquished herself; she didn't want him to pay for Elliot's behavior. She liked that Trevor was protective – that he would intervene if she needed him to.

She let him hold her for a few moments. "I'm sorry I'm in such a bad mood," she apologized.

"No, don't…" he replied. "you don't have to be sorry. Come downstairs, try to eat a little something and when the kids go to bed, we can try our conversation again, okay?"

She nodded. "I love you," she said softly.

"I love you too."

/

"Have you really not let a single sip of alcohol pass through your lips since we were at Garland's party?" Olivia asked him.

"No, I told you I would sit it out with you – so I am," he smiled.

"You can have a beer if you like, I don't mind…" she told him sincerely.

"No," he shook his head, "I don't want one. I want to have a break from drinking with you. They were sitting in the living room watching some True Crime show that Olivia couldn't help but nit-pick at.

"Okay…" she shrugged. She lifted his arm and snuggled closer, pressing her body against his flank. He smiled to himself and put his arm around her. She Noah's blanket around her a little tighter. Trevor planted a kiss on her temple.

"Are you gonna talk to me about what happened today?" Trevor asked her as the show's credits began to roll up.

She picked up the remote and turned the TV. She glanced at him and saw him smile. He drew her head closer to him and kissed her.

"I guess… I just realized when I was with Erika exactly when it was that I put my feelings—for whatever they were, behind me and it was after him –I felt so hurt that Elliot still didn't bother himself to call. And then, Sonny told me that Fin and Amanda were talking about us, asking if I'd rushed in to things and I got this text from Elliot saying congratulations which alerted me to the fact that he and Fin have obviously been talking about me again and … I was mad."

Trevor listened intently.

She continued on, telling him about the case, telling him that Elliot demanded to talk.

"It's his ego, Trev, the fact that he is so concerned about other people hurting me, unless he's the one causing the pain and then everyone should be forgiven."

"I have noticed that Elliot cares a lot about Elliot," he offered, "but he has been through his own set of traumas too – I'm not excusing his behavior but I'm just saying…"

"I know but I am so sick of feeling guilty of making someone feel bad by calling out their bad behavior. He gave me an apology and I accepted it back months ago but he keeps wanting to have these discussions and he's never clear with what he wants from me and after my chat with Erika, I realized that Elliot hurt me and scarred me just the same as he did and how can I ever be friends with him?"

"I don't know that you can Liv, not if your feelings about it are that strong, not if the hurt is still raw," he replied, stroking her hair.

"I also told him to stop gossiping about me with Fin like a teenage girl," she was able to laugh.

Trevor chuckled too. "It's a fair ask," he nodded.

"And I remembered as we got back what Sonny told me about Fin and I was furious all over again so I gave Fin a dressing down on a professional level. He's supposed to be my friend and have my back but instead, it's always betrayal… I'm just so fucking fed up with feeling like everyone's second best."

She sighed, glad to have got it off her chest. She felt his fingers combing through her hair thoughtfully. "Baby, you're not my second best. You're just my best of best," he smiled at her.

She glanced up at him, "Thank you for saying that… you've never once made me feel second best but it does help to hear it after dealing with these two disappointments."

"I'm sorry that you still feel so much hurt from Elliot;" he apologized, bring her close. She leaned her head against his arm. He reached for her blanket that kept slipping from her shoulder and pulled it up over her shoulder, tucking it behind her so it stayed up. "I wish I could take it away for you…"

"Thanks, I wish you could too…" she breathed a sigh. "I really just was furious that these two assholes dare question my life choices – as if they know what goes on with me outside of work…" she closed her eyes, encircling her arm around his torso, enjoying the warmth of his body and his show of affection. "I always tell people that I wasn't in to you when we met on the train – and truthfully, apart from briefly thinking you were hot on occasion," she smiled to herself, "you didn't enter my radar on that level, but when you sat down with me that night—I immediately had a rush of feelings and I have never had that and I didn't know what to do with it so I treated you rudely because I felt so embarrassed."

She felt the reverberation of his light laughter coming deep from his chest. "I thought you just wanted to have sex, I was really surprised when you agreed to go on a date and I felt something… but you were totally different off the job, you were so sweet and self-conscious and when you were trying to politely eat that deep dish pizza…" he laughed again, "and then when we got in to bed and you were so worried about sitting on my lap—and then when I saw you naked –"

"Ughhh stop," Olivia covered her face, "I am still ashamed of that whole situation, you are lucky I didn't run out the door."

"You almost did," he recounted the night, "but I was like, uh-uh, no way, if you wanted to go cos you weren't in to me, fine, but I wasn't about to let you go because you were self-conscious over a nothing issue…"

She laughed and gave him a little squeeze. "And when we fooled around and you didn't expect anything back in return, I was thinking, is this guy even human?!" Olivia laughed, "I for sure thought it was some weird dating tactic—"

"No, I actually felt guilty," he admitted. "I attempted to have a one night stand after Helena left me—I was angry and sad and wanted to do the male thing and get her out of my system so I met some woman at a bar, we went to her place and I realized as I looked around her apartment that she lived like a pig, she had late 90s grunge posters in her living room and a home made bong on the coffee table and I realized she was probably younger than my sister so I made some shit excuse and left."

"To your credit, you left… a lot of guys would have shrugged, had sex and snuck out the door later."

"Maybe, but it was all weird and soulless for me… and because I liked you so much, I felt guilty that we did stuff, like I was thinking with my cock instead of about you and I didn't want to make you feel – I dunno, just like I didn't value you…"

Olivia laughed. "You're crazy. You made me come so hard that I am pretty sure I felt valued, no worries there. And in fact, you were so good at sex stuff, Trev, that I never would have allowed myself to come ordinarily, I've always struggled at being that uninhibited…"

"Well I'm glad you don't have that issue with me… our sexual compatibility is off the scales, and I'm so happy about that," he smiled at her.

"Me too," she replied with a little knowing smile. "Thanks baby, I feel much better…"

"Good… let's go upstairs and get ready for bed. What time are you on tomorrow?" he asked

Olivia shrugged, "I can't remember if tomorrow is the start of the night shift or if it's the next—I'm trying not to think about it."

"Ugh," Trevor made a face, "I hate it when you're on nights, I miss you. I feel like we're just tag-teaming as you come home and I leave."

She got up and Trevor took her hand and helped her up.

/

Olivia put a fresh t-shirt out and pulled her towel down and hung it by the shower. She tied her hair up out of the way so that she didn't get it wet. She got in, turning the water on.

Trevor stood in his trunks in front of the mirror, staring at his reflection while he brushed and flossed. He glanced at Liv behind him in the shower. He knew he had to get rid of his beard but it was so long that it was past being able to use a regular close-shave razor on it.

He stared at himself for a moment.

"Don't worry, you're still hot…" Liv remarked over the sound of the gushing water.

He laughed.

Olivia turned around and washed her face under the spray. It felt good to wash the day from her. She washed the soap from her face and turned around to see Trevor hacking at his beard with a pair of scissors.

"Trevor!" she exclaimed. "What the hell are you doing?"

He glanced at her in the mirror, "I don't have time to go to the barber and you want it gone and its making my face itchy… it's too long to use a regular razor."

She shook her head incredulously. She turned the water off and got out, drying herself off with a towel. Trevor smiled to himself, loving how comfortable they had become with one another.

His beard was patchy and short and he looked ridiculous. She couldn't help but to laugh at how silly he looked. "Do you want me to help you?" she asked him, wrapping a towel around herself and tucking it in so that it didn't fall. .

He glanced at her and let a smile cross his face as she took her hair out of the pony tail she'd tied it up in while she had showered. Little damp locks stuck to her neck. "Sure… can I trust you at my neck with a razor?" he asked.

"I don't know, you'll just have to find out," she shrugged, giving him a little wink. She nodded toward the edge of the bath. "Get your shaving kit out, I'll go get some clothes on."

"I'm okay if you you don't want to put any clothes on…" he couldn't help but to tease, making the motion to pull the hem of her towel that it would fall off of her.

"Yeah right, that sounds safe…" she swatted him and took her fresh t-shirt and headed in to their bedroom to get some underwear.

Trevor waited patiently with his shaving brush, shaving cream and a fresh razor. He smiled when Liv came back in with just her t-shirt on. He couldn't figure out why but the idea of her helping him shave was a little hot.

She made her way over to him, standing between his legs. She couldn't help but to laugh, running her fingers over his patchy, hacked beard. "I can't believe you just hacked at it with scissors, you are so stupid," she started to laugh. Her words were playful, not insulting.

He laughed too. She put the plug in and filled the basin with warm water. She put some shaving lather in to the small little bowl that sat on the edge of the bathroom vanity. She picked up the shaving brush and wet it before dipping it in to the lather. She looked at him, cupping his left cheek in her hand. He stared at her with his pale-green eyes which could at times, be a little disarming and other times his stare made her breathless. She was focused though.

"Okay you need to stop staring at me like that," she told him bluntly as she spread the shaving cream over his cheeks and down across his jaw line, beneath his chin and a little above his mouth.

"Like what? Like I love you?"

She laughed and planted a kiss on his forehead. She felt his hands on her belly, disappearing beneath the hem of her shirt before sliding to her waist.

"You better behave, I have a razor…" she told him, picking it up and wetting it inside the basin. He watched her concentrating hard as she carefully held his skin on the side of his face taut as she worked the razor down over the patches of hair. She collected a lot of bristles after only one stroke. She rinsed it in the basin and went over the same spot until it was smooth.

She continued again over the next part of bristles. His hands slipped from her waist to the back of her thighs pulling her a little bit closer. She tried not to be bothered by his light touch grazing over the skin just beneath her ass cheeks.

She said nothing, feeling a little more comfortable that she wouldn't cut him.

"That feels nice, I'm not gonna lie…" he remarked as she wiped some of his now-bare skin with a warm cloth.

"Does it?" she wondered, "I'm not hurting?" she wondered.

"No, of course not… you're doing good, it feels nice, very nice, actually," he chuckled in spite of himself. She worked beneath his chin, lifting his head and was careful to make sure she left everything baby-smooth.

He watched her concentrating hard, laser-focused and unbothered by his soft flirting. He was certain that she wasn't really picking up on the vibes that he was putting out or if she was, she wasn't letting it show.

He kept still, nevertheless and closed his eyes.

"I have to be honest, you're looking very, very weird to me without stubble…" she chuckled, "not bad weird, just… like baby Trevor."

His eyes opened and he looked at her with a smile. "That does sound genuinely close to an insult."

"Nah. You are still as hot as ever, I just haven't seen you without stubble in a long time," she replied.

She felt his fingertips slipping upward until he cupped her ass in his hands and gave her flesh a little squeeze.

"Do you want me to cut you?" she asked, a playful smile crossing her lips as she rose her eyebrow at him. She held the razor to his face, perched between her fingers.

"No, but I am just taking advantage of you wearing these hot little thing-things where I can see a little of your amazing ass." He was referring to the skimpy boy-leg underwear that she'd been wear that were incredibly soft and slightly lace-like with the cut covering over half of her ass cheeks.

She knew how much he loved them. If it had been left to her, she would have been sporting a simple black cotton brief, but she knew there would be plenty of time for that after the baby was born and she wasn't really feeling up to having him grabbing her at each whim.

"Better close your mouth or else your lip is coming off…" she warned him as she went in with the razor, shaving the little bit of hair left above his lip.

Once she was done she put the razor down and soaked the cloth and wiped his face for him, making sure all of the shaving lather was gone. She loved the masculine smell of him after he shaved and enjoyed the smoothness of his skin.

She felt his finger tips graze past over her legs as she stepped away to grab a hand towel. Stood back between his legs and wiped his damp face. "There…" she told him with a smile. "You're all done…"

"Thanks…" he smiled. "who knew that being pampered by my fiancé would be so nice."

She grinned at him. "I'm happy to help you shave whenever you want," she replied. "It's kind of soothing…" the feeling of his hands all over her backside wasn't lost on her.

"It's almost a little too relaxing…" he admitted, pulling her against him until she felt his unmistakable erection against her. "See?"

"Wow… that must have been very relaxing?" she teased him, letting him pull her close. She couldn't help herself, she reached down and explored his bulge over the top of his trunks, staring him down.

"Very," he replied, his throat dry from her touch. He hummed slightly, and gripped the edge of the bath with one hand, watching her face lower over his to kiss him.

She pulled away from his mouth, resting her lips just a micron away from his, finding his outline of his shaft beneath the cotton of his underwear, making sure he was fully hard.

"Just something a bit sexy about you taking care of me in these…" he smiled, his eyes searched hers, full of desire and need for her. She drew her hand away and reached up, holding his face his face, pressing her lips against his. The skin of his face was extraordinarily soft and smooth.

He wrapped an arm around her waist, pressing her against his hardness again. He wasn't interested in messing around too much or teasing her the way he normally liked to. He broke the kiss and let his arm drop from her waist. He didn't bother waiting or taking it slow. He smoothed his hands over her ass, loving the feel of her bare, soft skin beneath his touch.

He heard her breath catch, almost a gasp escaping from her throat as he slid a hand beneath her from behind. Her back straightened and arched and he knew immediately she was just as eager as he was.

He removed her underwear and let them pool beneath her feet. "Told you that you shouldn't have worried about underwear…" he told her cheekily.

She laughed and kissed him again. He couldn't help himself, he loved to tease her, he let his hand sit on her backside, not moving to the spot that she wanted him to touch the most. She couldn't handle the want for him, the desire that started to make her body ache – as it turned out, it didn't take much to get her in the mood either, she thought.

"Why don't you lose your pants?" she asked him, between kisses.

He smiled. "Hmmm, nah, I'd rather just make out with you and squeeze your ass a bit." She reached around to her behind and took his hand, kissing him, hard and passionate, letting her lips work over his.

Brazen and forward, she guided his hand between her legs so that he could feel her growing desire for him. He broke the kiss, his cock fully erect, turned on by just how forward she was. It was hot, he thought, her showing him what she wanted.

"That what you wanted, baby?" he asked, his voice coming from his throat.

His hand was stationary. He wanted her to guide him. She nodded feverishly. She looked him in the eye with a little intent, "please…" she whispered.

"Show me…" he pushed, his throat still a little dry, wondering if she would do what he asked.

She guided his hand, between her legs, massaging her softly and slowly. It felt so good; a little heady and intoxicating and she tried hard not to let her insecurities get the best of her. She could tell he liked her showing him. She leaned forward, resting her head upon his shoulder. He steadied her with an arm around her waist.

"Okay, let's get you in to bed…" he suggested, his mind a little woozy with all of the things he was ready to do to her.

He stood up and swept her up in his arms. He set her down gently in to bed. He lifted the hem of her tshirt and pulled up from under her and pulled it over her head and balled it up and tossed it aside. One-by-one Trevor placed wet, lingering kisses on her nape, listening to her hiss with pleasure.

She lifted her head and pushed her hair out of the way allowing him better access to her neck and shoulders. "I love…" he kissed her again, "every," kiss, "bit…" kiss, "of your body…" he helped herself to her, letting his hands caress over her familiar curves, a slightly bigger swell in her breasts, her tummy sometimes making it hard to get comfortable, but they made do.

Trevor pushed his trunks down and got in to bed beside her, laying kisses at random over her.

"I love you too…" she murmured. "Every bit of you," she reached out to him, cupping him in her hands. He leaned in to her, pressing his erection against her touch.

"Shit…" he chuckled, letting out a deep sigh. "That's nice…"

Olivia captured his mouth against hers.

"How badly do you want me to touch you?" he questioned her between kisses.

"So much," she replied with a little laugh against his lips. She rolled over on to her side, facing him. She made eye contact with him, sweeping her gaze over him with a look of intoxication crossing her expression.

Trevor brushed the back of his fingers over her tummy and thighs. "That's not really an accurate gauge, to be fair."

"So much that if you don't get to it in a minute, I'll have to take matters in to my own hands," she teased right back.

He let out a throaty chuckle. "Mrs. Langan, you should be aware that I kinda like the idea of that."

"I kinda like you calling me Mrs. Langan," she replied. "But I think you should stop the shit talk and touch me…"

He smirked at her and planted soft kisses over her face. He brushed his hand over her nipples, grazing them with a feather touch, watching them instantly spring to life. He smoothed his hand down her tummy it disappeared between her legs. "You're so warm…" he murmured as he watched Liv's eyes fall closed and a look of complete relaxation and pleasure washed over her face.

He smiled. "Fuck, you have no idea how much you turn me on when you make that face. It wasn't a smile or a look of concentration but an expression he couldn't quite put his finger on. It was pleasure, but more than that; openness and complete comfort and trust in him.

He felt her body shift beneath him as he slipped his fingers inside her slowly at first. "You have no idea how much I've been thinking about this all day…" she admitted.

She was a little mystery to him at times – he was more inclined to initiate sex and she had only turned him down a time or two, but he always learned after the fact that she had wanted him at different times and had said nothing.

"Well, you definitely should have spoken up earlier…" he replied, kissing her.

Olivia rolled on to her back and with his free hand, Trevor caressed her thigh with firm pressure, massaging from her knees all the way up to the inside of her thigh where he was penetrating her.

Trevor let out an involuntary moan as he felt her soft hand his shaft. He paused for a moment, trying to steel himself. He cursed. He collected his thoughts and concentrated as she stroked him with the same speed that he was moving in and out of her with – effortless, firm and confident with how to touch him the way that he liked.

He used his thumb on his free hand to find her clitoris beneath her opening. Olivia had to focus too, it was hard to concentrate when he had both hands paying attention to her. "Go deeper," she directed him. He did as he was asked, sliding his fingers as deeply as he could while she worked on his erection.

He felt the beginnings of an orgasm building as her hips involuntarily rocked toward his palm trying to get him further inside.

He moved his hands out of the way. It was almost impossible for him to lay over her with her belly and was a little scared of harming their child. Instead, he knelt between her legs and lifted her ass slightly. He guided his erection inside of her.

"Is that okay?" he asked, not wanting to hurt her or put her in a position that was too uncomfortable.

She nodded, staring up at him, "its good, it's good…" she blurted out urgently. He moved in and out gently, holding on to the back of her thighs.

"Harder," she told him, "I'm not made of glass, Trevor!" she exclaimed with a little bit of cheeky laughter.

He laughed at her eagerness. "Shit…" she cursed feeling him slam in to her, "you feel so good… deeper," she commanded.

He loved that she was very vocal about what she wanted, it was easier not to have to guess. "Baby, you feel good," he replied and he wasn't lying. He was doing his best to last as long as he could but knew he was close.

Trevor leaned over, wanting to kiss her but he couldn't reach her mouth from the angle. Her breath was labored and he could tell she was struggling a little to keep up. Another side-effect of being pregnant.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah…" she laughed, "more than okay. He reached for her hand and laced his fingers with hers for a moment. He gave her hand a little squeeze before letting go. Trevor buried himself deeply within her walls, going harder and faster as she had asked, the pleasure of her walls contracting around him was almost enough to send him over the edge.

She listened with satisfaction to his grunts and curses of pleasure as he thrust within her, the force of his his movements coming from his pelvis caused her head to bump just slightly against the headboard.

She could tell that he was coming, he rocked faster and more urgent and soon enough, he filled her up; his hips spasming in a series of tiny, fast thrusts.

He heard her whimper and realized as her body tensed that she was also coming. She squirmed around as his body jittered from the sensitivity.

"Oh my goodness…" she half-moaned as Trevor slid out of her slowly, setting her thighs down on to the mattress again. He flopped down beside her, tired; he was breathless and spent. He caressed her thighs and between her legs lightly as he sometimes did as she calmed down until she became too sensitive.

He leaned over her and pressed his lips against hers, planting soft lingering kisses upon her waiting mouth. He rested a hand upon her flushed cheeks as they caught their breath. "Love you," he murmured, kissing her again before resting back down beside her.

Olivia rested against him, enjoying the feel of his hands gliding over her as their heartbeats calmed down. He planted another kiss on her temple.

"I love you," she told him.

She gazed in to his eyes and smiled adoringly. "I know it's a mood kill, but I think I have to shower again," she told him.

He chuckled. "Probably for the best."

Reluctantly he got up first and helped her up. He disappeared in to the shower while Olivia sat on the toilet for a moment.

She heard Trevor laughing to himself. "What?" she asked, feeling suddenly a little embarrassed.

"Nothing… just your … concentration face when you're trying to pee." He imitated her, he was watching her from the reflection in the mirror. She rolled her eyes at him.

"Hilarious," she replied, humourless, "you won't be laughing when I get a UTI and it becomes so bad that we can't have sex for 4 weeks – or worse, causes an early delivery."

"What, shit, seriously? That can happen?" the silliness dropped from his tone and he was serious all of a sudden.

"Yes, UTIs are no joke, Trevor…" she replied but couldn't help smiling to herself as she finally was able to pee a little. She finished up and got in to the shower with him.

"Sorry," he said, "I didn't mean to make fun of you,"

"It's okay," she laughed. "I do have to concentrate. It's really hard to pee when you don't feel the urge."

She tried so hard not to get her hair wet but showering with Trevor made it too difficult. She gave up and pushed him aside gently so she could stand under the spray.