Bishop left with Karnwyr early in the morning.
Before that, he made them breakfast, which Faldaen wryly refused again, much to their continuous confusion. At least this time he woke up only a short while after them. Maybe it had something to do with the cold.
When Bishop left, Aeyrin honestly expected him to leave Karnwyr with her to watch out for her in her journey. It was so sweet of him when he did that back at High Hrothgar. But now he didn't. It was for the best. It was not like she couldn't handle herself without either of them and the wolf could be making Faldaen uncomfortable too. But she still felt a tinge of sadness that he didn't even suggest it.
She forced herself to overcome her discomfort and kissed Bishop reassuringly before he left. He was very morose about the situation, but much to her surprise, he never protested again.
He didn't spare a word to her father when he left. Not that she expected him to. And he disappeared into the plains, heading towards Ivarstead.
She set out with her father shortly after that, taking the route towards the warehouse which Bishop had suggested to her previously, rather adamantly at that. And now with him gone, they could travel through Whiterun Hold with no trouble. They could take the path along the White River, but they still stayed off the main roads.
"I'm surprised that he left, little rabbit. He seemed keen on hounding me, for some reason," Faldaen chuckled briefly as they continued across the rocks near the Valtheim Towers.
"Uhm… he's just watching out for me…" Aeyrin shrugged. She wasn't exactly eager to get into the reasons for Bishop's hostility – that would only make the uncomfortable tension worse again. Not that it was any better with Bishop gone, surprisingly enough. She had no idea what to talk to her father about. And she didn't feel confident enough to broach the subject of his business dealings again, especially since he just got some respite from Bishop's questions.
"Heh, aren't you some Nordic hero now?" Faldaen scoffed somewhat dismissively. Strange… he seemed much more in awe of that when he told her of how he had decided to stand on his own feet. In fact, he used it as a reason for that.
"Everyone needs help sometimes…" she gave him a cautious smile, hoping that it would nudge him into revealing something more substantial to her. That was probably naïve. One sentence would hardly make him crack and fess up to what was really going on.
Faldaen stayed silent, only nodding absentmindedly, before he turned to her again with a concerned frown. "Is he always this… abrasive, rabbit?"
She didn't answer. Explaining to him why Bishop was behaving that way was pointless. If she did, he'd get defensive and she'd get angry. It wouldn't lead anywhere. It was a little disturbing how that reasoning reminded her of her childhood. She would always rather keep her mouth shut than aggravate his moods.
"I just thought… a nice girl like you deserves better," Faldaen shrugged with a regretful sigh when she stayed silent.
Aeyrin bit the inside of her lower lip to keep quiet. He certainly wasn't this concerned about who she 'deserved' back then when she was a kid. She tried to remind herself that the person she was talking to now was… different. But the fact that he had never even acknowledged the past was making her so angry.
She wasn't sure if she wanted an apology from him, or if she wanted him to try to assure her that he had changed, but this blatant ignorance of how he had treated her was throwing her off considerably. Even making some excuses and blaming everything on Ri'zhassa would have been better than this! It was, after all, what she had been doing all her life – blaming her father's behavior on the Khajiit. They both had. For some reason, it would have made it more… normal if he did the same just now.
Maybe that was the reason why she felt so disheartened about his disregard. She had always told herself that he was just… sick. He was not in control of himself. It wasn't his fault. It was that evil man feeding his habit, going to extreme lengths to keep him in that state. She knew that she used to be part of the reason for that. Ri'zhassa's clients were hardly ever capable people. They couldn't steal very well in their states, and hardly anyone would ever give such obvious addicts money if they were begging on the streets. Whenever these people ran out of the money, which they had miraculously acquired somewhere before, there was nothing else to squeeze from them after that.
But her father had her and Ri'zhassa found himself a bottomless well. A child and a weak addict. So easy to manipulate and use. It was the one certainty that the Khajiit had in his business. It was no wonder that he got so upset when the temple took Aeyrin in.
No wonder that things had escalated as they did.
The last time she had seen Ri'zhassa, she made things somewhat more… personal. It was not about the money anymore. He just wanted revenge.
The uncomfortable silence loomed over her and her father as his continuous casual callousness formed a pit in her throat. Maybe he didn't even realize it, but for her, it only meant that even though he was 'sick', even though she was talking to a different person now, that person was not the regretful caring father she had always imagined him to be without the drugs back when she was a child.
She cursed herself for her naivety. But he was still a person, one hoping to make something of himself. Something more than what he was. And she still felt compelled to help him. Whether he was in trouble or not.
The uncomfortable silence continued for a while. Faldaen looked like he had realized that he wasn't making much of an impression with his words and he seemed to be pondering on what to say next.
After some time, he sighed, shaking his head regretfully.
"I'm sorry, rabbit. I just… don't want you to repeat my mistakes. Getting stuck with the wrong person… it can ruin everything. Let alone if you're not careful and end up making things even worse with a child."
Aeyrin stopped in her tracks at his words and she couldn't help but give him an incredulous look. She didn't even know how to respond to that. She got a bit torn by the urge to ask about her mother, since he seemed to bring it up, but… she really didn't want to respond to that. Well… she did, but she forced herself to swallow the bitter anger again.
He was making it more and more difficult for her to control herself.
The lack of interaction from her seemed to fluster Faldaen. He threw her another pondering look, thinking on how to make her more receptive, but his next words made everything only worse: "You are being careful, right, rabbit? Believe me, the last thing you'd want is to get…"
"Gods, do you even hear yourself?!" She couldn't stop herself anymore. How did he have the gall to insinuate that she made his life any worse?! If it weren't for her, he'd just join Ri'zhassa's list of septimless, dead former clients.
"W-what? Rabbit, I know that it's been a long time, but that doesn't mean I stopped being concerned about you!" He raised his hands at her defensively.
Apparently he did not hear himself. She took a deep breath and she promptly clenched her fists in an attempt to calm herself down.
Then, suddenly, a loud roar echoed from below the cliffs, down from the valley. Just then, it was like a saving grace to her.
She needed to let the anger out on something.
"What was that?" Faldaen's eyes widened, twitching nervously. He probably already figured out the answer anyway. The fear etched on his face made it obvious.
"Dragon," she noted in a detached tone. For some reason, the prospect of a dragon battle was not that daunting this time around. She really wanted to get away from him for a while. Getting absorbed in battle was as good of an escape as any other. Although… she was alone.
If only Bishop were there to help her out.
As if it was an answer to her thoughts, loud yells echoed from the same direction. Somebody was already fighting the beast.
She turned on her heel instantly and she began walking towards the edge of the cliff. She could see the glistening grey scales among the trees below as she started to carefully scale a little lower across the small paths along the cliff.
"Rabbit, what are you doing? Can't we avoid it?" Faldaen stayed up on the rocky ledge, looking down at her with a worried expression.
"No. I need to kill it," she retorted instantly. It would be faster if she just jumped down.
"I… well… I'll just… stay here… I guess. Does that usually take long? You said that we need to keep walking to make it to the warehouse in time!" Faldaen fidgeted on the spot while he continued slowly peeking below the cliff as if he was scared to even look at the dragon directly.
She gave him another sharp look. Of course! Why would he be concerned about anything else than his business?
"You won't stay here, because you're just an easy target if it soars. Just scale down and hide by the cliffside below. I need to hurry. There are actual lives in danger," she scowled at him and she looked down below before she turned her head away from him adamantly.
"FEIM!"
…
Bishop watched from atop the rocky outcroppings as Aeyrin plummeted down the cliff before her ethereal body disappeared among the trees below.
Faldaen looked around in confusion. He looked like he didn't have any clue as to what just happened. Bishop was always too far to hear their conversation, just to be safe. He just needed to keep an eye on her, to make sure that she didn't stumble into another ambush. Although it did look like she and Faldaen were arguing before. There certainly weren't any palpable warm family reunions.
Upon noticing that she was really gone, Faldaen slumped his pack down from his back and he began rummaging in it frantically. He pulled out something too small for Bishop to see from the distance and he moved it towards his face in a drinking motion.
That was without a doubt that strange bottle Bishop had found last night. What was that?
When Faldaen was done, he grabbed his pack again and started to scale down the cliffside carefully, clinging to the rocks desperately all the while.
Well… no need to watch that. He should get down to see if Aeyrin was alright. He saw the people down below – at least she wouldn't be battling the beast alone. Bishop was pretty sure that she could manage the fight even on her own, but it made him a little less anxious to know that she wouldn't have to.
Although Bishop was rather uneasy at the prospect of watching her absorb the soul without being able to hold her through it.
He checked the fastenings on his rope around the rock he had chosen before and he tugged at it with all his strength to make sure that it would hold. With the battle raging in between the trees, no one would notice him dangling from the cliff. He'd have to sacrifice all of his rope for that, but it was the fastest way down. Especially since he was not jumping down that fucking waterfall. Not ever again. And with the other people there, maybe he could even help out against the dragon without anyone noticing.
At least it wasn't that high.
Bishop nodded reassuringly at Karnwyr before he started to climb down the cliff steadily. The numerous ledges along the way were making the journey down rather faster than he had even anticipated.
He could hear the dragon roar in pain below when he was already half-way down. His eyes scanned the tree lines, but it was hard to pinpoint anything in the thicket. When he couldn't discern anything from the battle, he looked back to the other side of the cliff where Faldaen was descending down. Surprisingly enough, he was even closer to the ground than Bishop. His path was much easier, but it was still… odd just how spritely a man unused to this sort of terrain was.
After a while, Bishop finally made it down onto the solid ground. Thank the Gods, his hands were starting to burn. The leather gloves helped a lot during the climb, but it was still not ideal. Now he just had to do his best to stay hidden by the trees as he began approaching the dragon stealthily.
He could finally discern the situation, after some time observing it.
Aeyrin was attacking the dragon head on, smashing into whatever part of it was the closest. Its wing looked already strangely shaped – likely mashed by her mace, and now she was crushing the weapon across its jaw. There were three Orcs attacking the beast alongside her. One was a mage – her hands were crackling with lightning, constantly shooting at the dragon. The other two were heavily armed warriors, cleaving at the beast at every opportunity.
The dragon was roaring constantly under the assault. Bishop didn't even need to help them. So his eyes went towards the cliffside where Faldaen stood instead. The man was pressed against the stone, watching the battle without moving an inch. He was very far, but Bishop could have sworn that he did look scared.
Then the dragon finally slumped down lifelessly.
Bishop wasn't sure what it would assault Aeyrin with now – he didn't see it doing anything but thrash around. There was no telling what Shout it had used last. He twitched uncomfortably when he saw her drop down to her knees and close her eyes firmly as she braced herself for the last challenge.
Fuck, this made him uneasy. He was so close. He could just rush over to her at any second and hold her in his arms.
But this was what she wanted.
The dragon was simply bad timing.
Bishop looked over at Faldaen again. The man watched her, but he didn't make any motion to approach. Meanwhile the Orcs gathered around her when she dropped down to her knees and they all began looking her over worriedly. And that fucking wretch didn't even move an inch.
Strangers were more concerned about her, for fuck's sake!
Why would she ever think that that fucker was worth even a second of her time?
The dragon's corpse was enveloped with frosty mist and the familiar light. She'd be freezing for hours after again. And if it wasn't for that asshole Faldaen, Bishop would have been there to warm her up.
The Orcs flinched when the light shot out towards Aeyrin, but they didn't leave her side. Their hands were on her shoulders in reassurance, holding her protectively.
Then her piercing shriek echoed from tree to tree, making Bishop's blood turn even colder than it usually did.
This could actually kill her.
And he was forced to just watch helplessly.
While that fucking scum still didn't even move.
…
Aeyrin finally started to notice her surroundings while she continued shaking violently.
The first thing she noticed was how much she ached for the warmth and comfort of Bishop's embrace.
But there was still someone there, fussing over her. She could feel the eyes roaming over her worriedly.
She was sure it was him. Watching his daughter shriek and shake like that without knowing what was happening at all must have been rather frightening.
She patted one of the large hands on her shoulder reassuringly with her eyes closed. Her whole body was still trembling with cold wildly. She didn't manage to stop the feelings of the absorption this time. She suspected that it had something to do with her anxiety regarding Bishop's absence.
But she knew that this could happen at any time. She needed to start getting used to it.
"Are you going to be alright? We will help however we can," a deep voice rang by her ear.
That was not her father.
She opened her eyes slowly and she turned her head to see who it was. There were three Orcs surrounding her, all with deeply creased brows and worried expressions on their faces.
"Oh… I-I-I'll be f-fine…" she stammered as her teeth chattered. She pointed towards the pack she had dropped nearby earlier and one of the Orcs rushed to bring it to her abruptly. She looked over to the cliffside in the meantime. Faldaen just stood there, looking at her with an unreadable expression on his face. She concentrated on rummaging through her pack until she located her fur cloak, but her eyes still kept darting towards him. He finally started to walk towards her slowly.
He may not have been a warrior, but he didn't even move to see if she was fine before.
She felt like she battled the anger out of her system.
Now there was just sorrow left.
She draped her cloak around her shoulders as the Orcs started to readily rub their arms over it to warm her up. She shot them a grateful smile, but her mood didn't allow for it to last very long.
"That was amazing, Dragonborn. We can't thank you enough. I doubt that the battle would go this well without your assistance," the Orc woman gave her a grateful smile.
"I say a warrior like that deserves to be called a Blood-Kin!" one of the men slapped her back in a friendly manner with a proud smile on his face. His pointed teeth kept grinning at her widely.
"B-b-blood-Kin?" Her own damn teeth still chattered, making her stammer, but she was a little warmer with their constant attention.
"It's a great honor. Not many who are not of our blood receive it. You would be welcome at any of the Skyrim strongholds as a sister, as our kin," the last Orc smiled at her warmly.
Bishop had told her a little about the Orc strongholds once. He said that they were very reclusive. She's never seen any Orcish communities like that in Cyrodiil. It could be an interesting experience to see their culture in such a unique environment.
"T-t-that would… be an… honor," she returned the smile again. For a moment, she completely forgot that Faldaen was already approaching her tentatively.
"Settled then! Blood-Kin," the Orc laughed before he slapped her across her back again. "Come visit us some time at Narzulbur! It lies just east of Kynesgrove."
"Is it done, rabbit? Can we go?" Faldaen interrupted the merry exchanges suddenly and she finally noticed him standing above the four of them while they were still kneeling on the ground. His arms were hugging his own form rather tensely.
She felt an uncomfortable sting in her gut at his words. Why was she still hoping for anything else?
He didn't need skooma to make her miserable.
She got the urge to leave him right there. But… she still feared that he may have been in danger, considering his odd behavior. She would have helped any stranger like this after all.
That's right… she should just think of him as another stranger in need of her help now for good. No matter how annoyed she got with him, it was her duty to see this through.
Be kind and generous to the people of Tamriel.
She repeated the command to herself, as if it would give her the strength to put up with this situation. But she instantly thought of another one…
Honor your parents.
Why did it not feel… applicable anymore?
"It's done," she rose to her feet resolutely while the Orcs peered at her in confusion.
"Are you sure you will be alright, Dragonborn? If you need healing supplies… or another cloak…" one of the Orcs gave her a concerned look.
"Thank you, but I'll be fine. We have somewhere to be. But I'll be sure to visit your stronghold one day," she smiled at the Orcs gratefully before she turned on her heel to locate the direction that they were supposed to be heading in.
The Orcs still looked a little confused about the abrupt departure, but Faldaen seemed to relax considerably.
"We will make it by sundown, won't we, rabbit?" he gave her an uncertain look. Not even a word about what he had just witnessed? Really?
Ugh… stop thinking about it.
"Yes. It's only about three hours or so away if we don't run into any trouble," she nodded with her eyes set on the road ahead, avoiding his face.
"I hope we don't… those things aren't that common, are they? It took a long time to get rid of it," Faldaen narrowed his eyes at her.
She merely shrugged with a sigh.
Just think of him as a stranger. Why would a stranger be concerned about you?
But she couldn't help the sting of pain coursing through her with each word he uttered. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't detach herself from the ideals she held of him throughout her life. She couldn't just forget the hope she put into his recovery, as naïve as it was.
He did look nervous about making it in time. It could be just regarding the business… but… he looked actually genuinely frightened that they wouldn't.
Perhaps there really was something going on that would explain all this.
…
"I must admit, little rabbit, I expected you to… have more questions for me," Faldaen chuckled nervously after a long while of silence as they traversed across the edge of the Eastmarch tundra.
"Like what?" she shrugged at him. She wasn't really in a mood for conversation anymore. Besides, most of the things she was curious about had already been said… and they did not sound very convincing.
"I… I don't know… things that I… couldn't tell you before. Things that I couldn't explain," Faldaen sighed.
Aeyrin stayed silent again. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to hear any of it. It would just put more doubts in her head. Or it would just cause her more pain.
"You know… it was your mother who led me to that life," he sighed. Apparently he has decided to provide the answers himself, even without her prompting. Or without knowing what she would have asked. "That… that was why I worried about… about who you spend your time with, little rabbit. If it weren't for her, I would have never… fallen so low. And I would have never met Ri'zhassa."
She ignored his insinuations about Bishop. As if he knew anything about him.
But she noticed a disturbing pattern in his words. One she used to echo for so long before.
It was never his fault.
When she didn't know him like this, when she didn't know him sober, she could still believe that. But not anymore.
"D-do you… do you want to know more about her?" Faldaen stammered a little when he was again met with silence.
"She's dead?" Aeyrin asked curtly.
"Y-yes… she died shortly after giving birth to you, rabbit. I'm… I'm sorry. But I'll tell you what I can about her if you…"
"No, thank you," Aeyrin interrupted him. The last thing she needed was more of this. More of the 'what ifs'. And she still wasn't sure if he was actually telling the truth at all. She never knew that woman, and she hardly needed more resentment in her life, since he seemed adamant to lay his wretched life on her feet.
"Oh… a-alright…" Faldaen stammered uncertainly.
They continued in silence again. She could feel his eyes on her constantly, but she never met his gaze. She was just helping out a stranger now… she had to remind herself of that.
Faldaen slumped his pack to his torso while walking and he began rummaging around for quite some time before he stopped his hand's movements. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see him staring at something inside with his brows creased intensely.
He closed the pack after a while again and he threw it around his shoulder with a frustrated sigh.
They continued for a while as he sighed deeply every now and then, shaking his head rather morosely.
What was that about now?!
"R-rabbit… I need to tell you something," he let out yet another sigh again, making her stop in her tracks and turn back to him. Her eyes finally met his.
Was he going to tell her the truth now? He seemed to be bracing himself to say something uncomfortable. She would have never guessed that largely ignoring him would actually make him want to share with her.
At least she would know what she was getting herself into.
"What is it?" she tried to look genuinely concerned. She kind of was concerned, but it was hard to get over her previous mood.
"I…" he took another deep breath. It was clear that whatever he was about to say was hard for him to voice. "I... I'm sorry, rabbit. For… everything I did to you, everything I made you do. For not defending you from Ri'zhassa. For not being the father you deserved. I… I would really like to make it up to you," he said the words quickly, as if he was eager to let them out and get it over with.
She stared at him in bafflement.
She did not expect this anymore. She did not want this anymore. It was… what she had wanted to hear through all those years, but suddenly, she felt disappointed. She felt more… free before. There was a lump in her throat when she thought of the fact that it would not end with this.
It required such effort from him to admit his shortcomings. It even almost sounded… rehearsed.
She nodded at him slowly and the words felt like they were sticking to her throat.
"Thank you," her voice sounded so hoarse.
He approached her tentatively with a sympathetic expression and he placed his hands on her arms below her pauldrons, squeezing her gently. His fingers twitched with the grip and he quickly withdrew himself before he gave her a wry smile.
"Let's go… so we don't miss your meeting," she tried to swallow the lump in her throat unsuccessfully before she turned on her heel again.
Everything felt so confusing.
…
"You said that it was a warehouse."
Aeyrin peered at the half-rotten and crumbled wooden cabin in the distance with surprise in her eyes. She's certainly never seen any warehouse that looked this decrepit… at least not any legitimate one.
"It's in the basement of that old building, rabbit," Faldaen gave her an uncertain smile.
He's been getting increasingly nervous and twitchy as they approached their destination. Something was definitely wrong.
"It… looks suspicious. How much do you know about those buyers?" she narrowed her eyes at him. If there was a time to fess up, it was definitely now. If he didn't… well… she'd just have to see for herself.
"M-my partner swears by them, rabbit… there's no need to worry, I'm sure," Faldaen smiled again, but he was avoiding eye contact with her rather pointedly.
How much more obvious could he be?
"Listen, rabbit… I'd like to see you again. Maybe after I finish with my business here and…"
"I'm coming with you," she interrupted him with a resolute nod. It wasn't just her determination to see what was going on. For some reason, she really didn't want him to continue that line of thought. She didn't want him to make plans on when they would see each other again.
"W-what? R-rabbit, there's no need… I'm telling you," he stammered nervously again. His eyes were still not meeting hers.
"I'm sure they won't mind. Skyrim is dangerous, nothing strange about arriving with someone to guard you on your journey," she insisted.
He looked at her for a long time, then something flashed across his face.
It looked like… relief.
His smile lit up, relaxed, and he reached out to squeeze her below her pauldron again with a grateful expression on his face.
"Thank you, rabbit."
