Chapter Five: Act I, Scene V: Fleeting
A/N: I am basically offering you a delicious meal with this chapter and then whisking it out from under your nose before you can eat it. Take that as you will ;)
Another early update. We still in lockdown. Fun times.
Warnings: implied/referenced sex
It only took Beth just over a week to cave and decide to speak to Regulus again. The stress of their OWLs made it easy for her to avoid him, but after exams had finished and the summer break was almost upon them, she acknowledged that there was no denying she had to speak to him about what she'd seen. He approached her after their exams, to which she responded she'd seek him out on the Hogwarts Express as it headed back to London.
True to her word, Beth waited a full twenty minutes before she sought Regulus out and they headed into an empty compartment to talk. She hadn't seen Phoenix for most of the trip, and would hazard a guess that her best friend had gone to spend time with Lupin before she had to return to Grimmauld Place for the summer.
"Are you breaking up with me?" Regulus blurted out as Beth closed the compartment door behind them.
"What?" Beth frowned. "No. I just wanted to give you a chance to explain."
"Alright." Regulus inhaled deeply. She took a seat across from him, resting her hands on her legs to ignore the fact that her palms were sweating. "I suppose things really started when Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor. There was a lot of pressure on Phoenix and I, and our parents were so relieved that we were both sorted into Slytherin."
Beth nodded slowly, wondering how this was going to play into Regulus becoming a Death Eater, but knowing it wasn't her place to interrupt him. She had promised him that this would be his chance to explain, so she had to give him that place.
"Unfortunately, things kept getting out of hand with Sirius. He and our mother fought all the time. Screaming matches, curses thrown around the house...it was awful. Then, last summer, he ran away for good."
Beth remembered Phoenix telling her about it. She'd tried to shrug it off, but it was clear that Sirius's departure from the family upset her.
"Our mother blasted his name off the family tapestry. It was a tense summer, trying to explain to the rest of our family what had happened. It was an embarrassment. Sirius's name still brings shame upon my parents, and they won't hear it spoken under their roof."
"I take it they're supporters of the Dark Lord," Beth said quietly, staring down at Regulus's arm, the Dark Mark covered by his sleeve.
"They are." Regulus nodded. "They agree with his methods, and the goal he has in mind. It was through my older cousin Bellatrix that I started to...get involved. I wanted to stay on the periphery, but then Phoenix started dating Lupin. It became obvious to me that I needed to be the one who would give it all for the family."
"So, the Mark…" Beth's breath hitched. "You did it to protect Phoenix. To protect your parents. To make up for Sirius."
"I suppose you could put it that way." Regulus shrugged his shoulders, raking his fingers through his black hair before leaning back in his seat. "Well, there you have it. That's the big story. That's my reason for joining the Death Eaters."
Beth mulled over his words. Though Regulus's tone suggested he didn't want her pity, she couldn't help it. It couldn't be easy for him, wanting to try and remove the stain of Sirius from his family, especially when Phoenix's own actions were putting everything Regulus was doing at risk. Beth didn't think Regulus was exactly good, not if he was a Death Eater, but neither did she believe he was a terrible person. Could someone be doing the wrong thing for the right reasons?
"Alright." Beth took a deep breath. "I think I can live with that."
Regulus's questioning gaze scanned her face. "So you're not breaking up with me?"
She cracked a smile. "No, I'm not. I don't know why you keep thinking that I will."
The relief that came over Regulus's features warmed her heart, and he reached across to take her hands in his. The gesture was sudden but something about it felt right when he linked his fingers through hers.
"Come and stay this summer."
"What?" Beth laughed aloud. "Do you really think your parents will be okay with that? We're sixteen."
"We can say you're visiting Phoenix." Regulus shrugged his shoulders, a mischievous glimmer entering his grey eyes. "You've been to stay for the holidays before."
She had, and their parents were content in the knowledge that she and Phoenix were best friends. Neither of them had suspected anything untoward happening between her and Regulus, though she didn't think Richard and Jessica would be averse to a pure-blood boy from a prominent family dating their daughter.
"Alright." Beth beamed, feeling that these holidays might just be her most exciting yet. "I'll come and stay."
When Beth said that she would be visiting Phoenix for the summer, Richard and Jessica had been all too pleased for her. Thomas, who had recently graduated Hogwarts, would be starting a new job with the Ministry. As her parents focused all of their attention on their oldest child, Beth had never been more grateful to be invisible, slipping off to Grimmauld Place.
Phoenix claimed she was off visiting Lorna for a few days, however Beth knew that their friend had gone to Italy for the summer. Though suspicious, she guessed that Phoenix would be off spending time with Sirius and Remus and their friends. She chose not to say anything in front of Regulus, unwilling to cause discord between the twins. She'd speak to Phoenix in her own time about the fact that she was sneaking around and lying.
Beth focused her time and attention on Regulus, giddy in the touches and kisses they shared. The more wrapped up in Regulus she was, the more she could forget her bitterness that her parents only cared about Thomas, that Phoenix was going behind their backs and being dishonest. Though Regulus did spend time with his friends too, Beth often busied herself reading books in the moments of his absence.
The night before Phoenix was due to return home, Regulus tapped on her door and entered the spare room she'd been settled into upon her arrival. She sat up as he closed the door behind him, silk sheets tangling around her thin legs.
"Regulus?" Beth whispered into the darkness, frowning as her boyfriend's silhouette made its way across the room. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine." Regulus sat down on the end of her bed, the mattress sinking under the added weight. "I came to see you."
Did he suspect that Phoenix wasn't at Lorna's? Did he know that she was really with Sirius and Remus? They had been seeing each other all the time, after all. Certainly he had an ulterior motive in seeking her out so late at night.
"Why?"
"I didn't know I needed a reason." Regulus sounded amused, but Beth's cheeks flamed with heat. She truly was oblivious sometimes. Of course he was allowed to see her without wanting anything, but she always seemed to assume the worst. She shifted across the bed and patted the spot beside her, and Regulus sidled in without hesitation.
"I guess I just thought you might get sick of seeing me all the time."
"Never." Regulus's warm breath ghosted over her cheek. "I could never be sick of you."
Then his lips were on hers, passionate and urgent. Beth wound her fingers through his dark hair and kissed back with enthusiasm, secretly pleased by the way this had gone. Regulus's arm looped around her waist, fingers pressing into the small of her back. Her free hand gripped at his shoulder, tugging him flush against her.
Regulus's lips moved down her jaw to her neck, and Beth closed her eyes and tilted her head back. In the darkness, she was less self-conscious. With Regulus's hands traversing her body, she found that she was no longer blushing. Instead there was a heat rising within her, and she knew she wanted more.
Beth rolled onto her back and pulled Regulus on top of her. He was breathing heavily and even in the darkness, she could tell he was staring down at her.
"Are you sure?" he asked.
"I want this." Beth nodded fervently. "I want you."
"You look well-rested," Walburga remarked as breakfast was served the following morning. Beth had never quite known what to think of Phoenix and Regulus's parents, knowing that they had been awful to Sirius leading to his departure. Orion was concealed behind a copy of the Daily Prophet, smoke blooming up from his cigar.
"The bed is very comfortable," Beth said with a shy smile, knowing there was no chance she was about to admit that she'd shagged Regulus in the spare room. The boy in question was smirking across the table, helping himself to some bacon.
"Merlin's beard, Orion, I've asked you not to smoke at the dining table," Walburga snapped, her attention quickly shifting to her husband. Beth helped herself to breakfast, eating in relative peace when Walburga and Orion left the dining table. Afterwards, Kreacher offered to make them some tea. As she stood in the kitchen sipping her tea, she saw a familiar face enter.
"Oh, Nix, you're back!" Beth exclaimed, setting aside her mug and striding over to envelop her best friend in a hug.
"Beth."
"She's come to stay for the holidays," Regulus called, prompting Beth to nod in agreement, "I thought it would be nice for you to have some company, since I'll be out with the boys for a while."
Beth's stomach twisted. Regulus hadn't said anything of the sort to her. She couldn't help but feel disappointment well within her, though she knew it was selfish. They'd just had sex last night, why did it matter that he was seeing the gang of Slytherin boys? She brushed such thoughts aside, like unwanted cobwebs.
"The boys?" Phoenix said, raising an eyebrow.
Beth was curious as to exactly what her friend had been up to. Phoenix didn't typically keep secrets from her, so the fact that she had lied about where she was definitely rubbed Beth the wrong way. She plastered a smile across her face.
"It's so good to see you, Phoenix. We should catch up." Beth linked her arm through her friend's and led her into the lounge room, away from Regulus's curious gaze. Once they sat down, Beth's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "I know you weren't at Lorna's, so spill."
"What?" Phoenix choked out, panic flaring in her grey eyes. Had she really thought no one would figure it out? Beth refrained from rolling her eyes. Her best friend must believe she was stupid. Lorna had mentioned on the train that she was going to Italy, after all.
"I won't tell, if you tell me where you really were. Were you with Lupin?"
Phoenix nodded slowly. "Not just him. Sirius bought a place—he had a housewarming and had a bunch of people over."
Beth was quiet for a good few moments. There was a lot unsaid in the silence. She remembered what Regulus had said on the train, about feeling like he needed to protect his family. Phoenix either didn't know or didn't care, fraternising with blood traitors wilfully. Maybe at her age it would earn a chastising, but in the future, who knew what might happen?
"You can't say anything," Phoenix hissed, seeming to realise that Beth wasn't pleased, "You promised!"
"I won't!" Beth held her hands up, inhaling deeply before she continued. "But...Nix, I'm worried about you. Hanging around with a crowd like that looks bad, especially considering—well, you know what Regulus is."
"I know, Beth." Phoenix sounded done with the conversation. "I'll deal with it."
"You definitely should." Beth glanced over her shoulder to make sure that neither Regulus nor his parents were around. "Before they do."
Regulus and his friends would be far more unforgiving if things continued. Sirius had already brought shame upon the Black family, and Beth knew Regulus would be damned if he'd let Phoenix do the same thing. Unfortunately, Phoenix wasn't the sort of person to listen to anyone if it wasn't what she wanted to hear, so Beth suspected her words fell on deaf ears.
Evan Rosier's parents had gone on holiday to France to see his mother Camille's relatives, and as such, he had decided it was the perfect occasion to host a summer pool party. Beth was astounded to receive an invitation—she was usually dragged to such events by Phoenix, lingering on the periphery. She supposed it must be due to her status as Regulus's girlfriend, and prepared herself for a night of the usual debauchery.
By the time Beth and the Black twins arrived, the sound of laughter and splashing water was already audible. She followed them outside, unable to remember the last time she had been to the Rosier estate. The pool was huge, with two diving boards at different heights, a cabana and a poolside bar, behind the counter of which Mitchell was already serving cocktails. A loud splash of water rose in the air as Alexander Wilkes dived into the pool from the higher diving board.
"My favourite troublemakers!" Mitchell exclaimed, clearly already halfway drunk. He grinned broadly as he emerged from behind the bar, a cocktail in one and a bottle of rum in the other. Like many of the others, he was clad in swim trunks and a button-down summer shirt, left open to expose his bare chest.
Beth smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear. She'd decided to keep it simple, a black tankini with a white summer dress thrown over the top. She wasn't one to flaunt her figure. Beth knew her slender build was what a lot of women aspired for, but she sometimes wished she had more in the way of curves.
Not currently though, since as Phoenix peeled off her oversized shirt, cocking her hip and shielding her eyes from the sun as she squinted at the pool, Beth could see Evan staring at her as he emerged from the water. Phoenix noticed, arching an eyebrow coolly as the blonde boy approached her, eyes raking approvingly over her navy blue bikini. Merlin's beard, it was like he'd gotten even worse since Phoenix got a decent rack.
"Hey." Phoenix clicked her fingers. "My eyes are up here."
"Mitch, get me a drink if he's going to be leering at her all afternoon." Regulus rolled his eyes and tossed his towel down on one of the chairs. He paused, a frown crossing his face as he noticed two boys who weren't typically part of such decadent affairs. "What're Snape and Crouch doing here?"
Beth followed his line of sight to see the two boys in question. Severus Snape was the same year as Evan, Isaac and Mitchell, while Barty Crouch Jnr was the year below Beth and the twins. They were engaged in a game of wizard's chess, oblivious to the group as a whole.
"They've got potential," Alexander said as he approached, snagging the bottle of rum from Mitchell and taking a gulp. When Beth looked down, she could see the Dark Mark on his arm, and her skin crawled. Regulus realised the same thing, scowling as he snatched the bottle away.
"Are you out of your fucking mind?"
"What's the big deal, Reggie?" Alexander smirked. "Nothing wrong with new blood."
"We're not talking about this now." Regulus's voice was cold as he stared at the other boy. "And put a charm or something on to cover up the fucking Mark, you git."
"Well, I'm going in the pool," Beth declared, determined to break through the sudden tension that had settled over the group.
"Good idea, make the most of it." Evan rolled his eyes, accepting a cocktail from Mitchell. "Mother hates it, so we're probably getting it covered up and replaced with something else before next summer."
Slipping her dress over her head and tossing it onto one of the chairs, Beth slid into the water, dipping her legs in first to test it. Once she decided the temperature was to her liking, she submerged herself up to her shoulders. Evan could be a git, but he did have a very nice pool. Contenting herself with paddling around the pool, she spun around when something nudged her in the back.
"Want one?" Phoenix was sprawled on an inflatable flamingo, a pair of sunglasses on her face and a cocktail in her hand with another two ready to go. Beth grinned and climbed aboard, grateful for the anti-capsize charm that the flamingo had on it. Across the other side of the pool, Mitchell shoved Evan into an inflatable pirate ship before jumping on himself.
Afternoon bled into afternoon as Beth and Phoenix dominated the flamingo, occasionally pulled off into the water by the boys, or else offered another cocktail by Mitchell. As dusk bled into night, most of them were well and truly intoxicated, and Beth lay back on the inflatable flamingo and stared up at the night sky, the stars twinkling overhead and the floating lanterns that Evan had bewitched to hover over the pool.
The flamingo rocked around and Beth rolled over to see that Phoenix had actually gotten to her feet, a cocktail in each hand. A mischievous smirk crossed her lips as she examined the others, arching an eyebrow.
"Who reckons I drink both of these without stopping?"
Before anyone could contest her, Phoenix lifted the first of the cocktails to her lips, tilted her head back and drained it. Mitchell was laughing and Isaac was cheering, but Regulus's expression was grim as his twin then started on the second cocktail. Beth had to confess she was a bit concerned as well, touching Phoenix's leg.
"Nix, I think you should slow down."
Phoenix just scoffed. "Don't be a buzzkill. They're just cocktails."
Beth bit her lip. Regulus was talking in a low voice with Evan. She didn't know what was being said, but Regulus's expression darkened and he pushed Evan in the chest. The blonde boy scowled, getting right in Regulus's face, until Mitchell grabbed his arm and tugged him away. Anxiety began to knot in Beth's stomach as she realised they were arguing.
"Come on." Regulus took Phoenix's arm and tugged her off the inflatable flamingo as it reached the edge of the pool. "We're going home."
"What?" Phoenix pouted. "But we're having so much fun."
"You're drunk." The disdain in his voice was apparent, as was the contemptuous turn of his lips as he examined his twin. "I'm not putting up with this shit, Phoenix."
"Let's just go," Beth said quietly, hoping that adding her voice would convince her best friend, "It's getting late anyway."
"Fine," Phoenix huffed.
Beth exchanged a look with Regulus, but he quickly averted his eyes. What had he and Evan been arguing about when Mitchell intervened? She wanted to ask, but also had the feeling that he wasn't going to feel too talkative about it tonight. Linking her arm firmly through Phoenix's, she headed back up toward the manor so they could Floo back to Grimmauld Place.
On Beth's final morning at Grimmauld Place, Regulus came to her with a grim expression on his face, a storm brewing in his eyes and a furrow in his brow. He had seemed distant in the days since Evan's pool party, and now he closed the door to the spare room and leaned against it, taking a deep breath.
"Can we talk?"
"Sure." Beth marked the page in Midsummer Night's Dream that she was up to, her slim frame going rigid at Regulus's troubled expression. "What's up?"
"I've been thinking about us." Regulus made no move to come and sit on the bed. He stayed against the door, reaching up to sweep his dark hair out of his eyes. His gaze dropped to the rug as if he couldn't bear to look at her. "I just...I don't know, Beth."
"What do you mean?" A cold chill raced up Beth's spine. Her summer with Regulus had been one of the best in her life, incident at the pool party aside. She had really felt herself coming into her own as his girlfriend, but now she could see by his guarded expression that he didn't feel the same. Merlin's beard, she had been such a fool. Here she was, determined to be cautious, and yet losing her heart to the first boy who'd been kind to her.
"I don't think our relationship is a good idea."
"Then why have you spent the summer with me?" Beth couldn't help but shift quickly to anger in order to hide her hurt. "Was this just some summer fling to you or something? All the nice things you said to me, was I an idiot to believe them?"
He'd told her about the Dark Mark, the reason he'd got it. The same Dark Mark she'd now seen on several of his friends as well. Beth pushed herself up off the bed, hands balling into fists as she swallowed the lump in her throat.
"How I feel about you is real," Regulus insisted, and she was astonished at the guilt that shone in his grey eyes, "But Beth...the future I have ahead of me isn't one I want to share with you. I don't want to drag you down that path."
"Don't I get to make my own choice about that?" Beth demanded, folding her arms over her chest and blinking away the tears that swam in her vision. "So because you're a Death Eater, you can't have a relationship with someone?"
"Have you seen my sister?" Regulus asked, voice rising as he pushed himself away from the door at last. "She drinks and she pushes everything aside for Lupin, because deep down, she knows it isn't going to last. She's delaying the inevitable. Is that what you want? To live a lie?"
Beth's eyebrows flew upward. "So being with me is a lie?"
"No." Regulus shook his head. "We might love each other, and we might be happy together, but I could never give you peace. You'd be choosing a future of violence and war and blood, and we don't even know if that means a happy ending."
Was this because of the way Phoenix was acting? Merlin's beard, why did Phoenix and her actions dictate their relationship? Unbidden, Beth felt a surge of resentment toward her best friend, though she knew Regulus's decisions were his own. Doing her best not to break apart, Beth sucked in a steadying breath.
"Maybe I don't care about that."
"Maybe I do." Regulus clenched his jaw, chin jutting up in a way that was reminiscent of Phoenix when she was being particularly stubborn. "I've made my choice, Beth. My future is mine alone, and I wish you happiness in yours."
Beth clamped a hand over her mouth and choked out a sob, tears falling thick and fast through her fingers. Regulus wouldn't even look her in the eye, turning and opening the door. She wanted to say something, but what? Cruel words to hurt him the way he'd hurt her? Pleas falling upon deaf ears to lure him back? No, Regulus had made his decision, as final and damning as the black ink on his forearm.
Regulus walked out of the room and closed the door behind him. Beth sat on the bed and cried, tugging her knees to her chest. She and Regulus hadn't been together very long, but that didn't mean her feelings were any less real. She had cared about him, and he'd cared about her. He'd cared about her so much that he was pushing her aside because he feared something worse happening to her.
No one had told her that when your heart was breaking, it felt like the rest of you was, too.
