Alrighty. This is my first crack at writing any type of fan fiction story, let alone an NSN fan fiction. I hope I do my fandom justice :)


Chapter 1: The Life of Namikaze Naruto

Naruto sat on the hard, metal cot. It was precariously attached to the concrete wall behind him with the metal bunk bed looming above him, just inches from him slamming his head against if he wasn't careful. He slumped over, his elbows resting on his knee and his lazy head being held up by his palm. Outside of his cramped and overly gray cell were countless other cells, all peopled by various different criminals and vagrants, all with the same orange jumpsuit on. Naruto sneered. Orange wasn't a good look for anyone.

Naruto laid back on the thin, uncomfortable pillow on his small cot, his legs still dangling over the side of the bed. He was too tall to fit on the cot, although that was the least of his problems. What was the most of his problems? Any normal 22-year-old would say it's pretty problematic to find yourself in jail - unrightfully, at that. A normal 22-year-old would say it's problematic to have dragged your best friend down with you when all he was trying to do was break up the fight. A normal 22-year-old would say that it's also problematic to have a throbbing wrist and no solid plan to get out of this hell hole. But for this 22-year-old, these were not his biggest problems. His biggest problem was his father. Any normal 22-year-old would find a helpful dad as the least of their problems. But this was the life of Namikaze Naruto - and he was not a normal 22-year-old.

"Do you think your dad is gunna kill us?" Shikamaru asked from the cot above Naruto's. Naruto snorted in reply.

"What do you think?" he muttered with amusement. This wasn't his first time at the rodeo. His people-pleasing, overly good natured and loveable - not to mention filthy rich and powerful - father would be making his way down the corridor to bail him out in no time. And, just like always, Naruto would pitch a fit and complain that if he got himself into this mess, he could get himself out - both of them knowing that he in fact could not live up to that promise. He was so predictable - and he didn't know if he was referring to himself or his father. In reality, Naruto wished that his predictable dad wouldn't come save the day. There was also a sense of guilt in Naruto each time his dad came to clean up the mess he made. Maybe it was the fact that his father was willing to give a world of chances to his troublesome son. Maybe it was because he knew his father was the incumbent this year and if/when the press heard about this debacle (which they always did) it would only serve to hurt his father's platform.

"You really messed up this time, you know, man," Shikamaru crossed his arms under his head and looked to the ceiling, pretending he was in a field, looking up at the open, starry sky rather than the dingy stucco ceiling he was actually gazing towards.

"It's not my fault," Naruto responded dismissively. Jails didn't even scare him anymore. Was that bad? He figured it was bad, but did nothing about it.

"Don't even go there," Shikamaru replied. "You just have to let things go sometimes." But "letting go" wasn't exactly Naruto's forte. He didn't like to let things go. He didn't like when he heard snappy comments or backhanded jokes in his name. He didn't like when he was ganged up on. He especially didn't like hearing some low-life loser hanging outside of a night club at 1 A.M talk about how hot his mother is and how they'd like to fuck her if they ever got the chance. Naruto knew he had a short temper, but he also knew people were stupid for crossing him, for thinking that he would hold back or be polite just because his father was the leader of Konoha. Because he won't. He never has and he never will.

After a long pause and no response from the blonde-haired boy, Shikamaru forfeited from trying to reason with his friend and chose to fall asleep. Within minutes he was unconscious.

In truth, Naruto felt responsible for getting Shikamaru involved. Naruto was just standing up for his mother, and Shikamaru was just standing up his friend. Naruto shut his eyes and replayed the moment over and over again. Shikamaru intervened to break up the fight, but was instead slammed to the pavement and kicked in the back of the head. That was just moments before the police came and those two horrible pieces of shit ran off. Naruto remembers watching blood spill out of Shikamaru's nose. He's surprised he didn't have to go to the hospital. He was surprised he didn't turn around and punch Naruto in the face - that's what Naruto would have done had the tables been turned. It was Naruto's fault that happened to him. Shikamaru passed out in the back of the cop car on the way to the station, but regained consciousness just in time for his mug shot to be taken, which involved a piece of a tissue shoved up his bleeding nose and a couple of tears he had hid from Naruto, who was a regular to mug shots these days and feared nothing, especially his picture being taken. Thinking back on the past three hours he and his friend had been through, Naruto's eyes slowly began to flutter closed.

-NSNSNS-

Naruto awoke forty minutes later to a familiarly cool, calm and collected voice with similar footsteps making its way down towards his cell. He knew that tone. He knew that pace. That was Namikaze Minato trying to act as if he wasn't have a mental breakdown on the inside. That was his dad trying to pretend he wasn't making a routinely trip down to the Konoha Jailhouse to pick up his son, the way he used to pick him up from the academy every day after school.

Naruto leapt up from his cell and raked a hand through his golden hair. He stretched backwards, not realizing just how stiff that cot was. Funny, this was his third time in prison but the first time he ever fell asleep here.

The footsteps got louder until he saw an officer, his father and his father's bodyguard approach the cell.

"Hey there, Kazuo!" Naruto said cheerfully. "I haven't seen you since I was here this past summer," he said nonchalantly, waving at the officer who was escorting his father. Kazuo chose not to reply. Naruto was known for being viciously light-hearted while imprisoned. Instead, he opened the door to the young man's cell and stepped aside.

"You're free to go, you and Mr. Nara," he said, looking up at Shikamaru, who was still dead asleep. Naruto reached over and poked at Shikamaru's arm until he startled awake with a messy grown and a yawn. Only Shikamaru could enter any type of deep sleep on a prison cot.

"Come on, Shikamaru," Minato said calmly. "Let's get you home, I'm sure your mother is worried sick about you." Silently, Shikamaru sleepily crawled down the metal ladder and hopped onto the ground, walking past Naruto and exiting the jail cell. This was his first time being arrested and, as far as he was concerned, his final time. In truth, Shikamaru was terrorized from the experience and already planned to cry in his bedroom for the remainder day when he got home.

"You three go on ahead," Minato motioned away Shikamaru, his bodyguard and the officer. He waited a few moments until they were gone to make eye contact with his son.

Naruto let a deep breath out, expecting some sort of meaningless and emotional death threat to come his way but instead he got a silent, emotionless look from his father before he walked away. Naruto quickly followed, swallowing the hard lump in his throat that coupled with his dad's silent treatment. The last time Minato bailed him out, he was matter-of-factly backhanded across the cheek and told to not "break his mother's heart ever again". The time before that he was shoved repeatedly against the wall of his jail cell as his kindhearted father tried hiding his tears but failed to do so, so instead hugged Naruto as tight as possible while crying into his shoulder. Silence? Silence was a new form of punishment. Silence could possibly be worse than any previous punishment. It was a white flag. It was Minato saying, 'Alright, I get it. You'll never grow up.' It was also a sign that his mom would be angry, loud and violent enough for the both of them, which sent a shiver down Naruto's spine. An angry mom was far worse than any sort of capital punishment.

After about half an hour of bail payments and checks being passed back and forth from Minato to the desk clerk in the Police Office, the four all quietly moved into Minato's personal stretch limo. The silence inside the car was gray and heavy. Everyone wanted either an apology or wanted to give one. Shikamaru had been eyeing Minato with shame and remorse since he wrote out a personal check covering Shikamaru's bail, which he overheard was a little over two thousand dollars. Not that it was a large sum of money for Minato Namikaze, because it wasn't. But to Shikamaru, who grew up in a modest home, it was a lot. He felt as if he owed him his firstborn child. But that was Minato. That was why Minato was the leader of Konoha: because he was kind, generous and had everyone's best interest at heart. He was friendly and polite and when he talked to you he made you feel like he didn't care about anyone else even half as much as he cared about you. And Shikamaru felt very cared for at that moment. He looked over at his young friend, who was slumped over in his seat with a cavalier look on his face. He was picking dry blood out from under his fingernails. Shikamaru had the urge to punch him, knowing Naruto didn't - and never would - be nearly as grateful to his father as he should be.

The limousine stopped in front of the Nara home to let Shikamaru out. The chauffeur came around and opened the car door for him. Shikamaru looked over at Naruto who nodded a silent goodbye to him. Shikamaru climbed out from the car and turned to face Minato, aspiring to fall to his knees and thank him endlessly for all he has done. Instead, he couldn't voice anything aside from "Thank you for the ride home" to which Minato replied with, "Anytime, Shikamaru".


The sleek, sable limousine stopped in the driveway of the Namikaze Manor. Once more the chauffeur came around and opened the door. First Minato's bodyguard exited, then Minato, then Naruto. It wasn't until Naruto stepped outside of the car did he realize that the sun had just begun to wake up and face the day. It wasn't until Naruto saw the sunrise did he realize that he was ready to go to sleep.

"NARUTO!" Naruto jerked back into reality and saw his mother burst through the front down and angrily storm down the stairs and into the driveway, welcoming him home with a slap to the face. She violently grabbed his arm, shook him, and dragged him inside, continuing her rampage with shrill yells about how much he has dishonored his family and embarrassed his father who will now have to face the consequences for his stupid son's actions. She shoved him into the kitchen and slammed the doors behind her. Kushina, who was too worked up to sit, paced back and forth. She stopped pacing only to smite her fist to the table, the floral centerpiece bouncing up off of the mahogany a good inch and a half. Naruto watched it topple back to it's original spot as he took a seat at the table.

"Do you even care what you have done?" she asked him rhetorically. "You could've been killed! You got your friend not only hurt but also imprisoned! What were you thinking?" she asked loudly. Naruto stared up at her and blinked slowly. He knew she didn't actually want an answer from him. She liked answering her own questions. "That's right! You weren't thinking! You're never thinking!"

"I was thinking this time, mom," he breathed, folding his arms on the table and placing his head on them. "I was thinking." And truthfully, he had been thinking. Naruto would be the first to admit that his first two times being arrested were completely his fault and completely unnecessary. But this time, Naruto would do it over and over again if he had to.

"Liar!" she smacked him on the back of the head as she paced behind him. "You're hurting your father's career! Do you think it's fair that he has to run around in the middle of the night, bailing you out? Do you think he likes having to hold press conferences to assure Konoha that you're not just a troublemaker?"

In retrospect, Naruto did feel bad that his father had to get involved. At the same time, however, he didn't ask for his help. He was four years into adulthood and any actions he took were his responsibility - no one else's. It wasn't his fault that his dad openly babied him. It also wasn't his fault that his dad was in the public eye. That was his own decision, getting involved in a leadership role. Naruto couldn't live his life quietly just to appease the public. If he wanted to live it up while he was young - which he did - then he was going to, whether that discounted him as a troublemaker or not. If Naruto were asked, he would just say he's "unlucky" or "always at the wrong place at the wrong time".

Naruto looked up at his father who quietly entered the room alone and sat down across the table from him. He was weary and quiet and his lips were dry and he had bags under his eyes from a lack of sleep. "Sorry, dad," he said softly. Minato looked up at his son with a small smile, a sign of his acceptance of his sons apology. Naruto returned the smile. Kushina smacked him again.

"Say it like you mean it!" His mother was never nearly as quick to forgive as his father was.

"I did mean it!" Naruto protested, rubbing the back of his throbbing head. "I am sorry!"

"Sorry for what," Kushina spat back.

"I'm sorry for getting into another fight!" he jumped up in a fit of overwhelming enthusiasm to get his apology out. He was certainly his mother's son - just as easily excitable and theatrical as she was. "This time it was different! I was right this time!" he defended, always pleading. Kushina rolled her eyes and walked off with sass.

"You say that every time," she said. Seeing her son get worked up, she was beginning to calm down. That's what always happened - the minute Naruto became as worked up as Kushina was, she relaxed more - but not enough to sit down or stand still. She folded her arms across her chest and continued to pace behind her husband, who stayed quiet. He knew it was best for the two hardheaded fighters to battle one another and tire out before stepping in to play referee.

"Well I mean it this time," he said solidly. "Look, I'm not repeating what this jackass said, but it was enough for me to have an axe to grind with him. And it was about you, so you're welcome." Kushina gave a look of surprise. She had never heard of Naruto defending her in a fight. The last few times he had been in a fight he was either dishing out a vendetta or receiving one. "He was a disgusting pig and he deserved what he got. Shikamaru was just trying to get me home without making a scene but ended up getting in the middle of it. After he got hurt the police came around and the two guys ran off." After a long pause she accepted what Naruto had said as truth and sat down next to her husband. "I bet they didn't even get caught, motherfuckers," he muttered bitterly to himself.

"Naruto," Minato said, folding his fingers into one another. "We've been debating this for a while. Since your constant need to brawl is becoming more and more of an issue." Minato took his wife's hand and looked at her sincerely. She nodded in approval. Naruto's eyes darted back and forth from one parent to the other. Minato looked back at his son. "Your mother and I have decided that it's what's best for right now." Naruto blinked in reply.

"Are you disowning me? Sending me off to some island off the coast of Kirigakure, never to see me again? Are you putting me on an ice cube diet so I slowly die off from malnutrition?" His tone was irritatingly apathetic. Kushina winced to hear his words.

"No," Minato continued, hiding a small smirk from his son's sarcasm. He always found his son humorous when he was being melodramatic. "We're getting you a bodyguard."

Naruto nearly jumped from his skin. "A what?!" he exclaimed. "Why? What am I, some little princess?"

"Your constant need to get in fights has only been increasing as you've gotten older and we're trying to protect you-"

"I don't need protection." He said curtly. This time he was the one too upset to sit down or stand still, and he began to pace around the table like a shark closing in on its kill, just as he had seen his mother do since he was a young boy. "And clearly, as seen from all of my 'fighting' I can handle myself," said Naruto, using air quotes.

"One day we won't be here to bail you out. One day you'll find yourself against someone a lot stronger than you and the next thing you know you'll be dead," Minato said. "Come next week, your mother and I will be on a one month business trip to Sunagakure and you'll be here in Konoha all by yourself."

"I have Grandpa Jiraiya and Granny Tsunade if I run into trouble, I don't need some babysitter," Naruto cut in smartly. "And I'm 22 you know, I'm sort of old enough to take care of myself."

"This isn't a babysitter, it's a bodyguard," Kushina responded, watching her son rapidly pace around the kitchen table.

"Well I don't need a fucking bodyguard!" he yelled before recoiling quickly; he had forgotten he was talking to his parents. No cussing allowed. Kushina stood up to smack him but Minato snatched her wrist before she could. "I don't need a bodyguard," he repeated, minus the swear. Kushina sat back down with a huff.

"Jiraiya and Tsunade are busy with their art gallery. They're opening a new location in a few weeks, you know that. And they're not here to make sure you stay out of trouble," Minato retorted. "Let's just try this on a temporary basis. All he will do is stay here in the house and follow you in public," Minato said.

"Oh, so you're hiring someone to stalk me," Naruto mocked immaturely.

"No, of course not," Minato sputtered. "Look Naruto, you can pout and whine all you want but this decision is final. We're giving this a shot so you can either accept it like a young gentleman or you can be negative about it and live miserably. Either way, it's happening." Naruto stuck his nose up to his father, his lip in full-on pouting mode. He wasn't sure why his father was retracting all of his words by now - the puppy dog look always works.

"You're hiring someone to stalk my life," Naruto verified.

"Bodyguards don't stalk people. Take a look at my bodyguard, Yamato. It's as if he isn't even there, but when I need him, I can always count on him to be at an arm's distance from me." Minato beamed proudly. It took him many years to secure such a fine and respectable body guard such as Yamato, who was standing just outside the kitchen door at the moment.

"You're the Hokage, a high political figure of Konoha," Naruto replied. "It makes sense for you to need a bodyguard."

"And it makes sense for you to have one too, you rotten child," Kushina said fiercely. "You're always getting yourself into bad situations."

"That's not true! Bad situations find me, not the other way around," Naruto cocked his head with a half-smile, challenging his mother's feisty glare. She flipped her hair with a scoff and looked to Minato for reasoning.

"Well either way you'll have someone there to take care of you," Minato said professionally. Naruto knew there was little point in replying; he wasn't going to win this argument, at least not right now. He knew it was his overbearing mother who put Minato up to this. For years Naruto had considered his dad to be his best friend. He was always in his corner. It wasn't until his adolescent years ended that Minato began to side more with Kushina than Naruto - and Kushina was always against Naruto. Naruto knew that the minute he got friendly alone time with his father he could manage to sway his impressionable mind. After all, how could he deny his firstborn son?

While Naruto chose not to continue the hopeless argument, he was, however, already scheming of all the ways he was going to torture this new bodyguard of his to get him to quit as soon as possible. Naruto tried to hide a small, mischievous smile. As a child he had always been a pro at being horribly overwhelming and reckless when he was cared for by nannies and babysitters. This caused a long chain of caretakers to look after him once, then never show their face at the Namikaze Manor ever again, despite all of Kushina's kind and pleading messages on their answering machines. Naruto really hated being care for by others and he was really good at getting rid of them.

Minato sleepily blinked and Kushina leapt up, murmuring something about making coffee for everyone. Naruto kept his eyes peeled on his father. He knew his dark gaze wouldn't sway his father's decision, but it would make the decision very hard for him and, for Naruto, that was enough right now.

Kushina set a tray consisting of two small cups and a pot of coffee between her husband and son before returning to the kitchen to make a light breakfast. Naruto reached for the coffee first, pouring them both a cup. He spooned two teaspoons of sugar into his father's coffee, swirled it around and gently slid the hot cup over to his dad. He then poured himself a cup of black and sipped it lightly. It was the first comforting and warm thing he had had in many long hours.

"So do you have one in mind then?" Naruto asked. "A bodyguard, I mean. I'm assuming since your bodyguard was hand chosen from the ANBU Black Ops then mine will be from the same ranks?"

Minato guzzled his coffee down before replying. He smacked his lips together in deep thought. "Ahh, well, no, not quite," he replied hesitantly.

Not quite? What was that supposed to mean? "Well where else would you get one from?" Naruto stuttered, shaking his head in confusion. Naruto shoved a spoon into his black coffee and began hastily mixing it out of boredom and newfound anxiety. "Isn't the ANBU under your control? They're the best out there."

"Actually," Kushina cut in, pouring pancake mix into a hot pan. "They're not anymore." She smiled a competitive smile that was only ever directed at Naruto. This meant that she had full reign of choosing his bodyguard. Naruto's eyes slid to the corner of his face and he sent her a cutthroat frown before taking another drink of coffee.

"Anymore?" Naruto repeated condescendingly.

"Just recently a silently powerful family has taken back the reigns of supremacy," Minato told him.

"Taken back? Reigns of supremacy?" Naruto repeated once again.

"Some of the best known snipers have come out of the woodworks and all trace back to this clan."

"Clan?" He was beginning to become more interested. "Who? What? Have I ever heard of them?"

"Probably," Minato sipped his coffee. "Their headquarters are out of Konoha's boundary lines and they own a small portion of the Fire Country themselves."

Naruto blinked a few times. "Are we talking about Uchihas?" he asked softly. Minato sipped his coffee in reply.

"Uchihas!" Naruto flung up from his seat once more, knocking over the centerpiece of flowers. "You're gunna surround me with Uchihas?" He slammed the palm of his hand onto the thick table. Minato must hate him. There couldn't be any other rational thought process as to why he would choose a "bodyguard" from the Uchiha Clan - the wealthiest, most powerfully deadly and cold-hearted clan in the history of… well, anything, really. "We're talking about the clan who held control over Konoha a while back?" His father nodded silently. "The clan who took out the Hashirama Senju in order to gain that control?" His father nodded silently once more.

"Yes, you see, back in the day I went to school with Fugaku Uchiha, the current Head of Clan to the Uchihas and-"

"You're handing me over to the Head of that clan?! Why don't you just kill me now! They're a bunch of thugs! It a large family gang! I thought you were trying to keep me out of trouble, now you're sending me straight to Satan's spawn?!" Naruto rampaged. His pacing began again, with loud stomps making the china set in the cabinets gracefully clink together as his heavy foot met the stone floor.

"Relax, Naruto-"

"Relax!?"

"Things are different now," Kushina said, cutting the soft pancakes before dousing them in maple syrup and handing the plate to Naruto, who angrily snatched it and walked away. "This isn't the same Head who tried overpowering Konoha. That was Madara Uchiha. He's been dead for many years now and since Fugaku-san took over as the chief of the clan, things have been much better."

"That's a clan of hit men," Naruto deadpanned.

"It's a clan of people who do various services for people who cannot do those services themselves," Minato corrected. Naruto rolled his eyes.

"So it's a clan of hit men."

"No," Minato replied patiently. Kushina set a plate of pancakes before him and sat down with her own plate as well. "The Uchiha's do all sorts of undercover and top secret missions. Truthfully, I've used them quite a few times in the past. Whenever I have a public press conference, there are Uchihas around, you know," Naruto's eyes widened upon hearing this. "And I'll have four around your mother and I as we head to Sunagakure next month for our business trip." Naruto, suddenly loosing his appetite, pushed away his plate of untouched food and leaned back in his seat. He exhaled loudly and unwaveringly glowered at the cup of sugar before him on the coffee tray. He was looking back on each family vacation-turned-business trip and each press conference he's ever been to, trying to remember any kind of unfamiliar face around him. He had never seen anyone suspicious during any of those memories and although he had never seen an Uchiha in person before, he'd like to think he'd be able to recognize one: they're known for their dark features and emotionless expressions. They're known for perfecting the silent kill method, making them a fabulous clan to hire when you need protection, revenge, or anything that involved under-the-table violence, really. They were a clan of phlegmatical murderers. It was common knowledge to everyone: if you ever see one, flee as fast as possible. Do not engage.

"I had contacted my old friend Fugaku a while back, giving him light to your insatiable desire to need protection," Minato said politically. "I asked for his personal best Uchiha to bodyguard you, which is his eldest son, Itachi Uchiha. I've had him at a few of my press conferences," he admitted. Naruto was barely listening. "Unfortunately, Itachi is off on an important mission and cannot help this month so Fugaku said he would send his next best clansman." Minato looked up at Naruto. "Which is his other son, Sasuke." Naruto continued to blink steadily at the cup of sugar. "Who will arrive within the next few days."

The next few days.

So he'd only have a few days left of a nice, uninterrupted life.

"After that skirmish in the summertime that also landed you in prison, we contacted Fugaku and forewarned him that we may be in need of his assistance in the future. After getting out of prison that second time you seemed to improve a little bit though, so we didn't," Kushina frowned. "Until last night. So when the Chief of Police called to inform me that my little boy was back in jail, your father and I decided we couldn't hold back any longer. We needed someone to intervene."

He looked up quickly at the couple. Completely ignoring everything his mother had just told him, he asked, "I thought you two weren't leaving until next week?" He pursed his lips. "Why would this Sasuke guy come in a few days if you two will still be here?"

"It's true, we aren't leaving until next week," Kushina clarified. "But we'd at least like to meet the man who will be watching our son before we leave. That way if it doesn't sit well with you, we have time to find a new bodyguard." She smiled sweetly, trying to appease her disgruntled son.

Naruto gulped down his coffee to hid a rising grin. All he heard was that he had a week to make sure this Sasuke character wished he had never accepted to bodyguard him. Perfect. That was more than enough time for Naruto to raise hell. By the end of the week he'd be leaving, never to return, and his parents would be forced to give him an ANBU watchdog instead. And while, granted, no bodyguard is better than any bodyguard, the ANBU was far better than a group of untrustworthy, unemotional sociopaths. It didn't hurt that, having grown up in a well-off, well-protected home, Naruto had met with and befriended many ANBU members and frequently would hang out with them in their downtime. Maybe by the end of the week he could even convince his parents to let him chose his own bodyguard, seeing as their choice was such a terrible match for him. If Naruto had his way, he'd have Sai, one of his closest friends, as his bodyguard in no time. Or maybe even Kakashi, who was like an uncle to him and had taught Naruto simple karate moves and let him read his dirty porno books when he was thirteen.

Because after all, a close friend as a bodyguard could possibly be better than no bodyguard at all.


Yay! I finished the first chapter! I realize it was fairly long (sorry!) I'm just overly detailed in that way. If you dislike it, I'll try to work on it. Anyway, thank you for reading and please review and tell me what you liked/disliked about it!