Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I super-disclaim.

Author's Rant: Yeesh. This...this somehow happened.


The First Case


This wasn't the profession he imagined having when he was in grade school.

In fact, Kiba Inuzuka vaguely recalled wanting to be a veterinarian, since working with animals had always been his strong suit and raising Akamaru has been one of the greatest experiences of his life. But regardless of reason, and despite him being an average joe, he ended up here; stuck in a room that was akin to a refrigerator, and he wasn't liking it one bit.

If he wanted to freeze his balls off, he would've stuck his nut sack in a bag of ice or something. Kiba sadly noted that, while his life long dream was to cater to canines and pets alike, he'd ended up somebody elses lapdog in the long run. Or rather, the chew toy for a bunch of rabid rottweilers, and it was a shame he let it happen.

"This isn't funny guys!" He made sure to emphasize loudly and proudly, kicking the back of the bed to show just how tasteless this was. This, in reference to, the state of his appearance, because if there was one thing Kiba Inuzuka treasured, it was his dignity. If people got wind that he was dressed in nylon stockings, a Kimono, and a girl's wig, the young bachelor was sure that he'd never get laid in this town again; or this country, for that matter. So excuse him if he wasn't in the liveliest of spirits. Cross dressing wasn't a hobby he wanted to take up any time soon.

Taking a deep breath Kiba mustered up the courage that he knew he had, deep, deep inside. And trust that he had to look especially deep this time, considering he was teetering on the edge of borderline insanity, this close to taking the costume off and storming out of this dank room. Squinting his eyes through the sheets of black that seemed to encompass his vision, he let out a shaky breath, trying to calm himself down. At the moment, while his friends were cozied up in a living room by a warm fire, he had to sit in the middle of a vacant bedroom in the dark. By himself. With nothing but the possible dead and the termites to keep him company. So in the same breath that he swore revenge, Kiba prayed that he would make it out of this one alive.

It was a wonder why he joined this luckless group in the first place. Well, he didn't necessarily join. He was dragged into it just like he was dragged into all of his pea brained colleagues schemes; and as long as that guy existed, he was doomed.

Sheesh he was an idiot.

Kiba figured he might as well start writing his will now, because he'd be damned if he made it out of this little strategy of theirs unscathed.

"Jerk..."

Why was he always the bait?

"You know you guys suck right?" Kiba called to seemingly no one in particular. A bunch of static came from a nearby pillow before someone responded. A lot of someones. With not exactly the apologetic words he'd been looking for.

"Don't complain,"the first person said boredly.

"Y-you'll be f-fine," a feminine voice added on shyly. However the last one to speak, like usual, had an air of uptight, irreplaceable arrogance to it. Kiba could practically feel him sneer as he said, "You actually look kind of pretty, for a mutt."It almost made him gag, but Kiba relented from letting his loose tongue get the better of him. Slurring wasn't very ladylike, after all.

"How long do ya think it'll take him to piss his pants this time?" A distinct voice snickered from among the others, clearly trying their best not to bust out laughing midst the crappy sound of the twenty dollar device. This voice, unlike the others, was bubbling with buckets of cheer. Just the sound of that voice made Kiba jump out of his seat to glare directly into the hidden camera in the room, because when this was all over, he had very specific plans to make that person go away for a very long time. "Shut up Fox face!" he snapped over the walkie-talkie."You try sitting here in the dark and see how you like it!"

It took guts to do this shit. Guts a certain leader he knew didn't have. But the aforementioned party still persisted, chortling over the audio device like it was no one's business.

"Awww, is wittle Kiba afwaid of the dark? Man up will ya! Besides, you look the most like the girl in the picture. I swear you could've been distant relatives or somethin'."

"But Hinata could've done it—she's a girl!" Kiba retorted logically. "And anyways, it's pretty obvious that I sound like a dude, what if the ghost notices?" His appearance may be different but the way he spoke wasn't fooling anyone.

"Lady Hinata would not have been a suitable candidate," a rich baritone countered immediately, eliciting a gentle sorry from the girl into the speaker. "And too answer that last question, it's rather simple: don't talk. You'll be saving us all the headache."

"Oooh! Burn!" Someone guffawed.

"You too, Uzumaki."

Now such laughter ceased.

Ha, well that served him right.

"I'm getting real tired of your shit Naruto." The brunet made sure to state, though it was blatantly obvious from the get go. Naruto cracked a blinding smile towards the image where Kiba was displayed, poking at his digitized form in mock provocation but knowing full well he couldn't feel it. "Oh yeah? Well if you don't like it, than come here and do something about it—oh wait." Here came the choppy snort. "I'm allllllll the way over heeeere."

Kiba's lips twitched.

Those were fighting words.

"Just wait till I—"

"—As much as I'm enjoying listening to you two argue, you mind toning it down? Jeez..." another man tiredly cut in, not having spoken this whole time but feeling it necessary since they were both being annoying. "I'm picking up a reading."Everyone's eyes moved towards the monitor instantly where Kiba was displayed. All were completely silent. Their shoulders tensed in anticipation. It was show time boys and girls, and it was time to deploy the heavy artillery.

A merry atmosphere now turned serious as a whiskered boy took a seat in front of the TV screens with the rest of Private Paranormal in tow. Watching the room closely Hinata Hyuga, Neji Hyuga, Shikamaru Nara and Naruto Uzumaki readied themselves for the operation to commence as a dark shadow began to rise from the floorboards, bending and twisting into a distinguishable shape of a women. The ring leaders wheat brows rose comically, a wide spread grin infecting his face. "Bingo!" He shouted. Everyone's breaths hitched. They couldn't believe it. Naruto had hit the nail on the head!

"She actually appeared?" Neji said surprised, but with a lingering hint of skepticism. "I didn't think this would work, Uzumaki...but you proved me wrong." Was that praise? Was the ice queen actually praising him? Naruto's chest swelled with pride.

"Well, naturally," Naruto responded bashfully, scratching his cheek. "I'm just pretty awesome, aren't I?"

"Now you're getting ahead of yourself."

He guessed not.

"U-uh..." Hinata muttered, coming in between the two of them with a shy smile, "A-are you ready to begin?"

"Is Commander-Asshole stationed outside the door?" Naruto asked, childishly fiddling with the knobs on his machine.

"Ah, yes...h-he's right where you put him." Hinata timidly said, pointing towards the monitor where Sai stood by the bedroom door, looking his usual emotionless self. The guy could be neck deep in evil spirits, and he still wouldn't bat an eye. Naruto didn't know which was creepier sometimes, Sai or ghosts? It was still a mystery, that's for sure.

"I p-put the charms all around the house...j-just in case it tries to escape they will contain it inside of the bedroom. And if the other spirits try to interfere, Sai will dispel them...s-so, I think we're prepared."

"You're so awesome, Hinata!"

The young priestess turned every shade of red imaginable. Naruto leaned over in his chair to smile at her. "You're pretty cool, yanno?" His face was so close. So close, in fact, the troubled girl was confident she was seeing stars.

"Hinata...?" Naruto called, noticing a glazed look on her face. All the while Hinata was imagining different scenarios in her head, all of which led to Naruto passionately kissing her. What if Naruto did kiss her?

"HellooOo?"

Maybe she was ready. She really liked Naruto after all. She had liked him for a while, maybe even possibly-

"I-I'm..." She squeaked.

. . . loved him.

There was a loud thud.

Neji covered his face with his hand and hissed, "I knew it," sending a hateful glare towards Naruto who flailed his hands around and screamed, "What did I do?!" Neji figured this would happen. This always happens at least once during every investigation, and the next time Neji promised he would bring some padding's for the floor to cushion her fall. He couldn't afford the risk of his cousin cracking her skull, merely because she was a victim to an unhealthy crush on a certain moron of theirs.

"Women," the man muttered incredulously with a click of his tongue.

He didn't understand them nor did he try too as he lifted her up, gently placing her on the couch. Why did it have to be Naruto? It sickened him that a mere mortal would have such an immense effect on Hinata, whereas in the presence of potential spirits the young female remained completely calm. Despite knowing for a while about the huge crush Hinata had on Naruto, Neji still didn't want to believe that his cousin, powerful head priestess of the Hyuga shrine would not fall victim to a demon—oh no—but to an idiot like Naruto Uzumaki. It just didn't make sense to him. He was a renowned genius and even he couldn't figure it out. Moreover, the worst part was that everyone knew about her thing for Naruto except Naruto.

And it would've been understandable if it weren't so obvious,but it was, which only further proved how indescribably mindless the blonde was.

"Is she gonna be okay?" Naruto asked innocently, which made the sides of Neji's mouth twitch.

"No thanks to you," Neji bit out, temperament rising.

"How is this MY fault?!" Naruto yelled.

"If you'd been busy working instead of playing around she wouldn't have fainted."

"I just gave her a compliment, where's the harm in that?"

"I thought you'd see the harm considering she collapsed just now."

"How the hell was I supposed to know huh!" the blond cried, hovering over Hinata like a fruit fly with this look on his face that made Neji want to abandon all etiquette and strangle him.

Shikamaru coughed from his corner of the room to gain Naruto's attention. He was getting a headache from all the noise. He wanted to get this over with smoothly so he could go home and play Shogi with his dad. "She probably tired herself out," Shikamaru lied, straight faced. "Let's focus on figuring out whether or not the poltergeist in the Jhonson's home is even a poltergeist." He finished with a yawn. Energetic as ever.

Naruto seemed satisfied with that answer for now as cerulean hues became fixated once more on the screen. Determined. Curious. And with such passion that Neji was once again reminded why they all followed him in the first place. After all, the six of them had been stuck together for almost five months, and they were completely engrossed in this new and strange world where the lines between the living and the deceased were blurred. They weren't just any supernatural investigation group: they were Private Paranormals, Chicago's one and only, ass kicking, spirit research team. Cleverly initialized as P.P, which sounds like pee pee, (since Naruto wasn't all too mature about picking the name) they take on as many cases as they can find, eager to find some proof of life beyond a physical form.

Neji didn't like Naruto at first. In fact, he'd been put off by his personality when he met him at his university. Everything spelled trouble, brash stupidity, and if there was one thing Neji still couldn't figure out was how such a normal guy could eat such an abnormal size of instant noodles without having his stomach pumped. But some way or another all of them, Neji, Hinata, Kiba, Sai, and even the sloth Shikamaru were lead to each other with little to no regrets. Whether by fate or by chance, they would never know.

Kiba nervously looked up into the hidden camera, clearly seconds away from shitting himself as this ghastly apparition formed in front of him. 'This better work.' he thought somberly. 'This better work Naruto or I'm haunting your ass in the afterlife.'

Naruto than stood up in that instant and took a deep breath.

All traces of silliness were replaced with alarming concentration to his task.

"Let's get started-"


"-ON GETTING SO DRUNK WE CAN'T STAND TO TAKE THE BLUE LINE HOME YO!" Kiba shouted, waving his arms around like a wild chimpanzee in a small bar on the corner of state street.

A bust.

The case had been a bust, and like usual, the team of investigators were back to the drawing board, trying to figure out which place to hit next (if their was anything at all.) Turns out like most of their so called "hauntings", this one had been a total hoax. It was exciting at first. Kiba almost lost his shit when he saw that figure seep from the floorboards, completely dead set on high tailing it out of there because, let's face it, he didn't sign up to be slaughtered. But he wasn't so happy when he noticed that behind the curtain in the Jhonson's room was a projector- needless to say, Neji had elegantly, and most effectively, tongue lashed the family for wasting a bunch of college students time.

Supposedly the Jhonson's had been haunted by the dead mother who previously owned the house, a young Japanese women by the name of Hiraki, who lost her daughter in a terrible fire. And acting on that assumption Kiba had been forced to dress just like the women's daughter, hoping to draw the spirit out. If Naruto's logic, again, was a testament to the revolting sight.

Kiba glared at Naruto through the corner of his eye.

"Never again."

It wasn't an opinion, but a statement.

Naruto knew his friends were pissed off at him again for leading them to a shitty case. At the corner of the bar they had come to, Neji was rambling about how he didn't come to America to be made a fool of, and Naruto slapped a hand to his forehead in frustration. Every time they failed, Neji would rant about the same shit.

He met the Hyuga's just this year. Hinata and Neji were originally priests at their fathers temple in Kyoto, and from the esteemed Byakugan sect, they had been trained since birth to deal with troublesome spirits—or so they claim—so Neji considered himself the leading expert and everyone around him a two-bit hack. Neji continued to ramble how such potential was wasted here. Hinata rubbed his shoulder soothingly and told him it would be different next time, but Neji swatted her away and chugged another beer impressively down his throat.

"No respect!" He seethed.

Naruto rolled his eyes at the sight of him. He wouldn't be the one to carry Neji home if he wrecked himself like last time.

He'd started this club, at first, out of boredom. Maybe it was all those episodes of Ghost hunters that got him interested in forming a supernatural research team, so his reasons for creating this little group weren't anything noteworthy. There wasn't some crazy back-story behind it. Trust that Naruto hated ghosts, or anything remotely scary. Once Kiba brought a copy of "The Ring" to his dorm room, and needless to say, he spent weeks without a television for fear that something would pop out of it. However, after his parents passed away in an accident, the boy had become interested in spirits. Probably as a last ditch resort to get over their tragic deaths, at first, but what he did find was an outlet for his stress; a rush of testosterone that brought a spark of excitement to his life.

Albeit it was a little strange, and it took forever to get the schools approval, he had rushed out at once and researched his head off to get into this new craze.

And Naruto was happy to say that, after five months, his small club of two—he'd dragged his childhood friend Kiba into it—had grown in size. They were making school life a lot more interesting, despite them all having their differences. Though Sai had never been invited, so Naruto didn't know why he was still here.

"Y'know what reeks?"

Kiba threw his hand over Naruto's shoulder. Naruto had a few guesses.

"Your breath?"

"N'aw, naw, ourrr livesss man! What the hell are we even doin'? If that was a real ghost...haha, I would've come after you."

"Riiight.."

One disappointment after another. Sure this was all for fun, but to keep the club they needed to have some results. His university didn't expect him to make a ghost just appear out of thin air, but they did expect them to have some validity that their club was productive and helped improve students lives. Sadly, all it was doing at the moment was urging Neji to become an alcoholic. Shikamaru from Naruto's advanced calc had gone home for the day with equipment in hand, and Sai decided that he had better things to do then spend more time then necessary with someone so dick less.

Naruto groaned.

"Gaaahh! Why can't we get something- I dunno, real for once?" He rambled, starting to go with the flow while downing shots with his dorm mate. Was it too much to ask for one breakthrough? One, amazing case, that would have the council at his school dying (ha, a pun) to increase their budget and give them some damned respect? Unbeknownst to the red faced blond, a women was watching him out of the corner of her eye. Hesitantly clutching her purse and wondering if she should even approach the whiskered man, she watched him teeter from one end of the stool to the next. Buzzed out of his mind.

The green eyed, pinkette didn't know if a chance like this would come again in a life time. She had overheard the others conversation, and she knew that if she let this slip by, the happiness of her, and the ones dear to her, would be lost forever. However, this didn't deter her from approaching with caution.

"...E-excuse me?"

Naruto didn't expect a beautiful girl to come waltzing up to him, but if this night was getting better, he didn't want to scare her away with his intoxication. Slapping his cheeks in a futile attempt to sober up, hazy blue eyes stared at the most gorgeous women he'd ever seen. Trust he looked all over cook county on romantic escapades with Kib's, and never before had he seen someone so...so-

"Hello?"

Naruto snapped out of it, running a hand through his hair with a nervous laugh.

"Hi! Can I help ya with something?"

The girl nervously looked left and right.

"I hope I didn't mishear but...you guys investigate paranormal activity, right?"

Neji, who was almost on the floor at this point, had straightened up at the mention of that. Kiba frowned, eyeing her cynically.

"Yeah- and what of it?" He grunted.

Naruto used the end of the bar top to balance himself.

"Well you see..." She shuffled her feet, confidence wavering. If she didn't do this for him, she might just lose the one man she loved.

"My name is Sakura Haruno, and right now..."

She knew she'd be putting them in a world of danger but..

"...My house is possessed. Can you help me?"

..if it was for Sasuke, she needed to take this step.


Author's closing notes: Alright. Finally was crazy enough to edit and fix this potential story that's been sitting in my dash forever. Please give me your thoughts? I've always wanted to write a supernatural story, and yes, this is a SasuNaru, so don't be confused by the light flirting in the future. I intend for it to be a Sasuke and Naruto fic and stay that way.

Gah- as for this; this monstrosity. I'm just going to try to go with the plan in my head and see how it all turns out.

Hopefully I can make this something real fun, or it'll turn out real stupid. Who knows.