hi all.
This is another pre-beta stroy... This story is a little diff from my norm.
But I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think.
There will be more A/N's at the bottom so please read!
The thing about love is, it's unpredictable. It can hit you straight in the face, as I had seen happen many times. Or, it can sneak up on you and rear its ugly head when you least want or expect it. To make it even worse, it can be for the one person you wish it wasn't for. You see, love had recently hit me, and rather hard... and for someone I have never even really considered a friend. I have not said anything to anyone as yet and nor do I plan to. But sometimes, okay, a lot of times, when I am lying in bed at night, all I can do is think of them...
To make matters worse, I know this person really, really dislikes me. I mean, we aren't even friends! Not that I hadn't wanted to be before being hit with the love bug, or by cupid, or however you want to put it... But now, things are worse then ever. I have been avoiding people because of it. Stupid, I know, but I feel as though they will know it just by looking at me... So, being a coward, something I am not known for usually, I am hiding.
Even right this minute, I am sitting here in my room hiding from the world with the windows and door locked and the curtains pulled shut. I am glad I finally live alone. I feel stupid for hiding, but I can't help it. What would they say? Most people don't like me as it is... Why me? Why now? ... And why does it have to be him?
That has got to be the biggest question I have... Why him...? Why not someone else...? Why not someone who cares for me even one small iota? I know it is useless to whine, especially when all I have ever wanted was to feel this strongly for someone. But how can I not when he would never, ever, not in a million years, love me back. Well, he may love hating me, but that's not the same thing now, isit?
I don't know why I am even worrying; I should just go back to how things were and stop acting like a child. Maybe they would never know. Sighing, I decide to tell the one person I know would never let it slip. As I made my way over to their place, I got lost in my thoughts... I was thinking about all the arguments we had had over the years. All the times I was made to feel small and worthless, like I didn't matter. All the times I didn't hold my tongue and threw a retort back... and all the times I did.
My mind stops when I realise I am standing before their door. I raise my hand to knock, but the door is flung open and a happy face is smiling back at me. Within mere milliseconds, I am the receiver of one of the longest hugs ever. Stepping back, eyes cautious, the smile fades.
"Are you ok?" comes the question.
I shrug, I really can't say I am not fine, but I can't say that I am either.
"Come in. We'll talk over a pot of tea" I am ordered, not asked.
I do as I was told and am soon sitting in the kitchen drinking tea.
"So what's wrong?" I am queried
"This is going to sound stupid if I just say it right out, so I want to say a few things first" I tell them, thinking that if I explain things, maybe they can help me more, and hopefully they won't... pity me... Or worse, laugh... Not that they ever would, but you never know... After a nod, I continue, watching the water in my glass as I slowly swirl it around.
"I know you know that all I have ever wanted was to love someone." We had spoken about this before "And you know that I am bisexual... Well, I have recently come to the realization that I do love someone. The thing is... Well, you actually know him and how he treats me. I doubt he could ever love me back. He doesn't like me in any way. All he ever does is treat me like I am nothing. I have been hiding from him, and everyone else, since I discovered this... They must know something is up by now... I'm surprised they haven't ambushed me yet, to be honest"
"Why have you been hiding?"
"Because I don't know what they will think. I am afraid of their reactions. Plus, I really don't think I can tell him. He will kill me for this"
"Well, that confirms who it is. You should tell him. You never know, he may like you back"
"That is the most unlikely thing in the world" I say, "Like he would ever like me! I am nothing but a-"
I am cut off before I can continue "You are a fierce friend, who will go to the end of the earth, and into other dimensions and even to other worlds for their friends. You fight for honor not the glory. You don't even care if people know of your good deeds. You are content knowing that you have done right. If he doesn't see this, he is a fool who will never deserve your love"
"I know that. But... I just wish for once, things would go my way fully and not just tease me to throw me back down again. I am sick of being seen as something I don't feel I am. Sure, I may be ditzy; my brains just lie in other areas. That's all. Like fighting"
After talking for a little longer, I was starting to feel better. I still had no clue as to what I would do, but I knew that I wasn't going to hide any longer. I would face this like a man, not a scared child. It was that, or hide until these feelings went away... Which wouldn't be for a long time. I really was sick of hiding. I just hope, by the end of all this, I am still alive... No scratch that, being alive can mean many things. I hope I come out of this unharmed... yeah right, like that's gonna happen. I walked home, lost in my thoughts once again. I was at home before I knew it and got a shock as I walked in the front gate... My friends were here, along with him. Just what I needed right now... Questions.
I open the door without a word, which in itself was cause for alarm.
"Well... come on in. I am sure you don't want to sit around out here." They follow me in, all silent, and sit as I grab a few drinks from the kitchen.
"Okay guys. What's up?" I ask, dreading the answer... I had a feeling I knew what it was anyway. The way their eyes were watching me let me know they knew something was up.
A/N's.
So who do you think was the one talking to you? And who was the friend they spoke to? Let me know if you think you figured it out :-)
I will be adding more to my other stories, I have just hit a snag atm, and am taking a break...
I wrote this awhile back and thought i'd post and see what you thought... There will be more added... When I pass this snag that is lol!
Please review for me:-)
Thanks for reading!
