Hello, fellow readers! I'm AraneLuna, new to , but not new to fanfiction. Here's my first submission (a REALLY LONG story, multi-chapter). This is actually an Omegle RP between me and my John/Mycroft, Rachel. Thanks so much!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters...except for the OCs...and those are...well...jointly owned. Everything recognisable is the property of the Mofftiss. All hail the Mofftiss.

Also...I am not British. So...this has not been Brit-picked. If anyone would like to...message me...and I will learn how to read it on here. :D

Enjoy!

Love, AraneLuna

How was lunch with your brother?-JW

Like pulling teeth, as always. -SH

Not good, then?-JW

Just his usual. 'Why don't you visit Mummy?' 'You really should take care of yourself better.-SH

At least it's over. We agreed. I'd have lunch with Harry if you had lunch with Mycroft.-JW

Speaking of, I've arranged for your luncheon with Harriet already. -SH

Right. Yeah. Thanks for that, but I'm perfectly capable of talking to my own sister.-JW

Oh no, I just gave her the reservations I made. By text. I didn't actually speak to her. -SH

You...made reservations?-JW

Sherlock, we've talked about this.-JW

It's at Angelo's. -SH

Nowhere out of place. -SH

Still, Sherlock. You've got to let me handle this by myself.-JW

I thought I was helping. -SH

Oh. Well, thank you for helping.-JW

Is that sarcasm? -SH

Not at all.-JW

Oh...all right then -SH

What did you and Mycroft talk about then?-JW

Like I said. The usual. You came up though -SH

Me? Why?-JW

My dear brother is still under the impression there is something more between us. -SH

Your dear brother should get his nose out of our lives.-JW

Oh but I wish he would. -SH

Did you ask about his latest rent boy?-JW

I did. But curiously, he was telling the truth when he said he hadn't got one. -SH

Was he? Interesting.-JW

Mhmm...but I detected a blush when I mentioned Lestrade. -SH

Oh...no. God no. Please, no.-JW

It would appear it's casual at this point. -SH

I don't care. That's just...no.-JW

I don't think I can look at Lestrade with a straight face now. -SH

I don't think I can look at Lestrade now. At all.-JW

Too bad. We have a case. -SH

Really? Fill me in.-JW

Double murder near the West End...two starlets. -SH

Oh? What makes it interesting?-JW

Neither of them could fire a gun. -SH

So not murder suicide.-JW

Or so their castmates say. -SH

No. -SH

Want me to meet you there?-JW

If you would please. -SH

Be there in ten.-JW

Just when did you make these reservations?-JW

Yesterday. -SH

When did you make them /for?/-JW

Oh...Friday. Noon. -SH

If we're still on the case, I'm breaking them.-JW

Why? Don't use the case as an excuse to back out of our deal, John. -SH

I'll reschedule.-JW

Sure you will. -SH

You'll make me.-JW

Yes. Because I suffered an hour and a half of my brother's company. Time better used for experiments. -SH

He's your brother, Sherlock. And he may be a git, but he's still family.-JW

Doesn't mean I need images of him and Lestrade in bed together. -SH

Dammit. I didn't either. And I didn't have until just now.-JW

If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me. -SH

I hate you for that.-JW

You don't hate me. -SH

No. I don't.-JW

Exactly. -SH

I wish I could sometimes.-JW

Hmm? -SH

Hate you.-JW

And why can't you? -SH

I just can't. It's impossible.-JW

I don't believe that. -SH

Nothing's impossible, John. -SH

Yes it is. Flying without assistance is impossible.-JW

And hating you is impossible.-JW

At least for me.-JW

I don't understand why. -SH

I don't either.-JW

Curiouser and curiouser. -SH

You remember children's books, but not the solar system?-JW

I was a child once. And Lewis Carroll always fascinated me. -SH

You were also a student once. You learned the solar system.-JW

And found it boring and unnecessary. -SH

Right.-JW

Why do I need to know that the Earth revolves around the Sun? -SH

To help solve cases, apparently.-JW

That was one time. And it had nothing to do with the Earth's rotation or orbit.-SH

Nope. Just basic astronomy.-JW

But you know that, so why do I need to? -SH

Because what if I'm not around?-JW

You'll always be around. -SH

We don't know that.-JW

I won't let you not be around. -SH

Sherlock...-JW

What? -SH

There are some things you can't control.-JW

Then I'm going to damn well control the ones I can. -SH

Sherlock, calm down.-JW

I am calm. -SH

Doesn't seem like it.-JW

What? So I can't say one swear word with you saying 'calm down'? -SH

No, it's just...you seem upset.-JW

I'm fine, John. -SH

Okay. You sure?-JW

Yes. Quite. -SH

I'm almost to the theatre. -SH

Same. You'll probably get there before I do, though. Traffic's terrible.-JW

I suspect it's the weather. It's not been all that conducive for travel. -SH

Not that great, no.-JW

Did you bring your umbrella? -SH

...No. I barely grabbed my coat.-JW

You can share with me then. I pinched Mycroft's. -SH

Very nice. I suppose he'll be furious.-JW

Livid, actually, judging by his texts. -SH

Fantastic.-JW

You can give it to Greg after we're done. I'm sure he'll make sure it gets back to your brother.-JW

He just noticed it's absence apparently. -SH

Stop bringing that up! -SH

You brought me down, I'm keeping you there.-JW

I just got finished deleting it! -SH

If I can't delete it, neither can you.-JW

Damn you. -SH

Yeah, yeah.-JW

I don't need that creeping in my scant hours of sleep, thank you very much. -SH

I wonder who tops?-JW

Bet it's Greg.-JW

Stop it. -SH

I wonder if they have any kinks.-JW

Ooh! I wonder if they use the umbrella!-JW

Or foodplay.-JW

GOD! JOHN! -SH

Cake. Mycroft would love that.-JW

Food /and/ sex.-JW

I can't...stop it! -SH

Oh, but I'm having fun.-JW

I will think of the most creative revenge possible. -SH

It's worth it.-JW

I only wish I could see the look on your face. You'll probably delete this by the time we see each other. I might have to do it again.-JW

I have a lovely bag of fingers I might introduce to your tea. -SH

You will never be allowed around my food again.-JW

Not in front of Lestrade. -SH

Maybe...-JW

No. -SH

Oh come on!-JW

I don't need the look on Lestrade's face confirming my suspicions. -SH

Could be fun.-JW

Or nausea inducing. I can't even touch this umbrella now thanks to you. -SH

I'll hold it.-JW

What if they have used it for...that? -SH

Can you really not say sex, Sherlock?-JW

Not in connection with my brother. -SH

Your brother Mycroft and newly divorced Gregory Lestrade most likely have hot kinky sex with cake and umbrellas.-JW

Happy Christmas.-JW

Those fingers are definitely going in your tea. -SH

I won't drink it. And thanks for the warning.-JW

Oh it will be when you least expect it. -SH

Or I can powder them and put them in your tea leaves. -SH

I'm not taking food from you ever again.-JW

Especially after Baskerville.-JW

It was an experiment, John. I needed to know. -SH

I don't care. I'm your friend. I think.-JW

You are my friend. My only one. -SH

Well, that's nice to know.-JW

Doesn't mean I won't get revenge for you poisoning my mind palace. -SH

Oh boo hoo. You'll delete it soon enough.-JW

Then you'll bring it up again. -SH

Maybe.-JW

Just to be cruel. -SH

Nope. Never cruel.-JW

I'm tempted to leave this evil thing in the cab. -SH

I'm not afraid of a little rain. But you know I was kidding, right?-JW

What? -SH

About the cake and the umbrella.-JW

Don't bring it up again. -SH

Not unless you're absolutely horrid.-JW

I'm wounded John. I can behave myself. -SH

Not always.-JW

I try. -SH

Most of the time.-JW

Well, the world seems to have a problem with me. -SH

Right. Blame it on the world. There are times you act like a two year old.-JW

Do not! -SH

Exhibit A.-JW

This is not a courtroom, John. -SH

Figure of speech.-JW

Still. -SH

My behaviour isn't on trial here. -SH

No, it isn't. I was just trying to prove a point. I'm here, now where are you?-JW

Just walking up. Cab had to stop a while back. -SH

Lovely. Did you bring the umbrella?-JW

...Yes. -SH

Thank you.-JW