"Let us begin. Hohoho..."

The voice rumbled, like the deep ocean...

+x+

Ugh, my head. My body felt hot and wet, and not in a good way.

I absent-mindedly rubbed my wrists, then my neck, before opening my eyes. Got damn it was hot.

I was on a tiny, sandy island. It wasn't any bigger than a parking lot. It'd be comical if I weren't trapped on it. There was even a single tree with coconuts on it.

All around me was the big ol' ocean. Vast and unending. Waves bobbed up and down, up and down. It was the never-ending abyss of wet-wet.

If I was dead why was I here? Is this heaven, hell, limbo?

Shit, this doesn't look like heaven. Or hell. Or even limbo! Where the fuck am I?!

I looked around to find a weird-ass fruit, a note, and a big-ass iron club; all right next to the coconut tree.

I shrugged and got up, brushing the sand off my body. I walked over to the note and read it:

Dear Jamal Ashon Reed,

You have died.

Do not panic!

You have a second chance.

I have left two things for you: A Devil fruit called the Hito Hito no Mi, Model: Oni; as well as a metal club that can change size. Do with them as you wish.

Have fun.

Sincerely,

Guyton

Hot damn! I was in the One Piece World! I started dancing and jumping for joy at my luck!

I paused my dancing the moment I realized I was still trapped in the middle of the ocean...

Fuck!

What to do, what to do...

I scanned the horizon, only to see in the distance a large boat!

Actually, it was really large. Really, really large. Huge. Giant.

I've been on ships before. I know ships, and that thing looked like a barge or a baby cruise ship. Maybe a warship? Alright, maybe I didn't know a lot about ships, but I knew it was too big to be some nobody's boat.

But it was a few miles away...If they didn't see me now, who knows when it'd be the next time I'd see another ship.

Whelp, I ain't swimming my way out of here. I had to figure something out quick.

I looked at the rest of the stuff. The club looked like a generic oni-club from animes. Ignoring it for now, I picked up the Devil Fruit inspected it.

It looked like a red and black spikey apple, with the stem looking like white bone. I knew these things tasted disgusting...but if I didn't eat it someone would take it from me.

I ain't going out like Thatch! Fuck that!

I put the fruit between my teeth and took a bite.

It tasted like shit.

Tears streamed down my eyes from the sheer unpleasant, rotten, pungent, bitter, vomity, garbage, and a thousand other horrible tastes in my mouth. With one heroic gulp it went down my throat.

Then I started spitting as much as I could to get the flavor out of my mouth. I rather eat someone else's vomit than eat that ever again.

With that out of the way, I threw the fruit as far as my arm could pitch it. And considering I played football for most of my life, pretty damn far. It dropped into the ocean with a distant 'plop'.

I smiled. I had Mythical Zoan powers now! Yeah boy! I've read fanfics like these, where the main character started out OP as shit. I usually hated them.

But I was starting out OP as shit, so fuck everyone else! Gahaha!

Now that all evidence of my ability was gone I was golden. No one was slapping sea-stone cuffs on these wrists. No way, no how.

The next course of action was trying to get the attention of this ship. The ship was far as fuck. If I had to guess, probably four miles away? I wasn't the greatest at telling distance and shit, but I'm pretty sure it'd be able to see me.

I took off my white shirt and blue pajama pants, pointedly ignoring the bloodstains on them as I tied them together. Then I tied it to the fuck-huge spikey club. Now I had a flag as long as a person!

Picking up the club, I used it to help myself up the tree. The palm tree was thick enough so I could climb it using my legs and the club. I was scared it wouldn't support my weight, but I was golden when it barely moved with my added load.

At the top of the tree I used my flag and waved that bitch like my fucking life depended on it (since it did...). After what felt like thirty minutes I laughed as the ship turned and started sailing towards me.

Salvation here I come!

As it got closer I saw how big it was. It had three columns of canons on either side and was full of people. Four huge masts and a deck that was as wide as a small soccer field. Hopefully, they'd be friendly.

+x+

They were not friendly.

At first I thought they were friendly. They looked like a Marine ship. It had the same blue and white color scheme as the Marines. Hell, it said Marine on it big blue letters.

It was, in fact, not a normal Marine ship. I knew that the moment I got on board the vessel. Actually, more when they clocked me from behind and chained me up. I didn't know if its a Marine ship or a pirate ship disguised as a Marine ship. I only knew one thing.

It was a slave ship.

Faceless Marine goons pushed and shoved me below deck with all the tenderness of a meat tenderizer. The butts of their rifles were used often and without hesitation as they kept hitting me with their weapons to move. I struggled against them, but they kept clocking me until I couldn't move. At which point they just decided to drag my battered-ass below deck.

I spit on them as they chained my collar to a wooden pole. That was answered by another smack of their gun and a laugh. They left me there in my puddle of blood as they traveled back to the surface. All I could bitterly think was, 'Man, what a nice beginning to my journey,' as I drifted off into unconsciousness.

+x+

I must have woke up a few hours later. I knew as much since there was still light out. Or as much as it came through the wooden planks above me. It was dark in the bowels of this stinking ship. And that wasn't an exaggeration, it was stinking. Damp, pungent, and disgusting.

My head hurt like hell. I had blood caked all over my body and all I was in was underwear.

Great.

I looked around to see this deck was filled to the brim with slaves. All types of slaves: Regular people, gigantic people, weird-looking people. Every race, ethnicity, whatever was here. These slavers didn't discriminate.

They also didn't discriminate in their treatment of the slaves either. All of us had some kind of injury on us, me being the gashes and bumps on my head. One guy looked like an emaciated corpse. A giant guy was just beat the fuck up, to the point where I looked uninjured compared to him.

One woman looked as if she was comatose. She was just naked with...well, I don't really want to talk about it.

I sighed as I tried to find a comfortable position, but couldn't. The chains were only long enough for me to lay down awkwardly, or sit right up against the wooden pole. And the ceiling was so low I couldn't stand up, only crouch. Worse of all there was no space, it was like being a sardine in a can: the other slaves were pressing into me with every sway of the ship.

Frustrated, I started pulling on my chain attached to the wooden pole. The other slaves stared at me in annoyance. I didn't give a shit.

"What are you doing? Stop that." A slave behind me said. I turned around to be greeted by a white-haired man with mismatching eyes. One was green and the other was blue. He had dark skin, but it lighter than mine. The guy was big too, probably six feet and a half feet tall. All he could do was sit since he took up so much space there was no slack left on his chains.

His face was old with wrinkles and long with sorrow and defeat.

"Mind your own business," I said as I turned back to my chains, trying my best to pull them off the wall.

"Stop, or we'll all get in trouble. They'll beat us too, and just because we didn't stop you," he said with exhausted anger.

I didn't care," Man fuck you, I ain't staying here. I'm not being some slave."

The irony of a black man becoming a slave was not lost on me. It wasn't even funny. I would rather die than be a slave.

"You idiot. Even if you broke those chains you still have the bomb collar on you. Every slave has one," the man said with frustration and annoyance.

I touched the collar on my neck and froze.

Fuck!

I turned around and slumped against the wooden pole. I glared at the man in front of me, secretly blaming him for magically making the bomb collar appear with his words.

It was like he read my mind, "It's not my fault you're in this situation. We all must have been born under an unlucky star."

I snorted. I didn't get that saying and I didn't care to get it, "Yeah. Every single one of us born at the same spot. On the same day. At night. Under the same star. Twinkle, twinkle."

He frowned, "We'll see how well you keep that attitude when they beat it out you."

I frowned back, "Fuck you, grandpa. Don't lump me in with you just because you've given up. I'm breaking out of here when I get the chance."

Someone behind me scoffed, "Yeah. And I'm actually a Celestial Dragon."

"Man fuck you and you're mother, " I spit out at the anonymous man behind me.

"WHAT'D YOU SAY ABOUT MY MOTHER?! I'LL KICK YOU'RE ASS!" He said in a rage, chains jingling as he scrambled to turn around the pole but couldn't. Not enough room to do that.

The old man growled, "Stop agitating everyone! You're going to get someone killed!"

"Man, you guys are fucking agitating me. Giving up and-" My eyes became as wide as dishes as I saw the cuffs around his hands. They were the round cuffs I saw Robin wear during Enies Lobby Arc.

Seastone cuffs.

We got a plan, we got a plan, we got a motherfucking plan!

I smiled at the geezer, my eyes wide with triumph, "You a devil fruit user?"

He looked at me dismissively, but answered, "What if I am?"

"What type?"

He closed his eyes and sighed, humoring me, "I'm a Zoan. I can turn into a tiger."

That's more than enough. I stared up at the ceiling, kissed my fingers and pointed to the sky. Thank you, god, for shining down on your boy.

I looked back down at the geezer, who was staring at me like I was an idiot.

"Whats you're name, pops?"

"Sandokan" He said after a minute of hesitating.

Wow, that's a badass name. Alright, "Well Sandokan, what if I told you I was a devil fruit user as well?"

He looked at me confused, before looking down at my hands and finding only regular iron cuffs imprisoning me. I smiled as his eyes lit up with understanding. He looked around, seeing if there were any Marines nearby. I knew there weren't, it was too quiet and we would have heard them coming a mile away. But I guess it wasn't a bad move to be careful.

He nodded his head over and over again, as though working himself up to believe the situation was possible. Sandokan finally broke out of his self-hyping and whispered, "What kind of fruit do you have?"

My smile must have been a mile wide as I whispered, "I have a Mythiclogical Zoan type. Hito Hito no Mi, Model: Oni."

His miscolored eyes nearly exploded out of his head, "Why haven't you used it yet?! Hurry up and get us out of here!" He damn neared yelled.

I bared my teeth in annoyance, putting a finger to my mouth and using the other to gesture to 'calm the fuck down', "Shhhhh! I don't know how to use it! I've been trying to change but I don't know how!"

I thought it was like a switch. Just think it and 'poof' animal man, but it really wasn't. I don't know how CP9 learned how to use theirs so quick.

The Tigerman looked at me in confusion before whispering, "What do you mean you don't know? How long have you have had your power?"

I squinted my eyes and pursed my lips sheepishly, I probably looked like French Stewart at that moment, "Uhhhhh. Maybe a few hours? Hehe..."

He smashed the seastone cuffs against his head in annoyance. He then promptly fell over.

"Grandpa! What the hel-"

He sat back up with a huge gash on his forehead, "I'll teach you how to use your fruit..."

I pointed at the man in shock, "Don't pretend like nothing happened! You just hit yourself in the head!"

To my complete annoyance, he continued to whisper as though nothing happened, "Once I teach you how to use your transformation, you'll have no fear of your bomb collar."

I blinked in surprise. I touched the collar lightly, as though any errant movement would set it off. His eyes were deadly serious. He was a hundred percent invested in escaping now, he wouldn't lie to me.

I nodded, as seriously as his eyes, "Ok, I believe you. But why? How won't I die the moment I transform?"

I'm pretty sure the moment I transformed into my Oni form I'd become big enough to break this collar. All the animal Zoan fruits made their users big boys. And the only other Hito Hito fruits I know from canon were eaten by a deer and fleet admiral. In the case of the later, he became the size of a building.

Fuck. If I turned into a giant Oni man at the bottom level of the ship, I'll rip through this place and it might sink. Fuck seawater being a devil fruit weakness, I doubt Onis do well in liquids period.

Sandokan smiled confidently, "The Model: Oni is the direct opposite of the Model: Daibutsu. Whereas the Diabutsu gives a person enlightenment, the Oni fruit turns its user into an Oni, the embodiment of human sin and evil. No flames can harm you. You will be given incredible strength and toughness. I doubt the explosion will even bother you."

My eyes brows couldn't be any higher if I strapped rockets to them and sent them into orbit.

'Oni man! Oni man! Oni man!' I couldn't stop cheering in my head.

The train stopped at problem station when the issue of 'giant huge-as-fuck person' reared its ugly head.

"One problem," I said with sadness, my vision of unleashing a can of Oni ass-whooping sailing away, "The Diabutsu turns the user into a giant fucking Buddha. I think we'll all die if I transform."

Tigerman nodded severely, "Yes. It seems you are aware of Fleet Admiral Sengoku's ability, though I shouldn't be surprised. He is known throughout the world. They do call him 'Sengoku the Buddha' for a reason."

Yeah. Let's go with that.

I stayed quiet as the man smiled, a spark of hope coming from the pit of my stomach "You don't need to transform into your full beast form. Your human-beast form will be enough. Even in that your hybrid form you won't even feel your collar go off. Legends say that the Oni fruit bestows immunity, creation, and control over fire; as well as incredible strength. Even a portion of that strength would be enough to escape."

I nodded, "Ok, ok. Hear me out though, what about your bomb collar? Even if I'm immune to fire and super-duper tough, you're not."

To my surprise, he actually laughed, "I trust you enough to stop the flames. Do not worry about me, I am tough enough to withstand the concussive force."

I stared at him with worry. I didn't know anything about the man except for his name and power, but he had a lot of faith in me.

Fuck it.

"Alright. Let's do this. How long should it take?"

He nodded, fire in his eyes as we set our plan rolling, "Not too long. You're extremely lucky to have a Zoan-type in a situation like this. They're the easiest to use and learn. But before we begin, I must warn you..."

Sandokan looked around one last time before leaning as close to me as his chains allowed him. I mirrored his actions. He whispered with gravity in his voice, "The moment we begin you're training, be ready to release me," he lifted his up his cuffs for me to see, "The seastone cuffs' weak spot is here," he showed me which side the locking mechanism was.

With absolute seriousness, he continued, "The moment you transform you will have only have a minute before the rest of the crew comes down. Even in you're half-oni form you will be large. As you can tell, there isn't even enough space for someone as big as you are currently."

He was right. I was only five feet and eight and I found this deck cramped as a shoe box. Even if I became as big as Sandokan, I'd bust my head through the floorboard above.

"The moment you transform," the Tigerman said slowly, "crush my seastone cuffs between your fists with all your might," he finished gravely.

"Yeah. Don't worry, I got this pops." I said with a thumbs up.

He nodded at my answer, "Ok let us be-"

"Wait..." someone called out from the dark. We turned to see the giant man I saw before. The closer I looked at him the worse he looked. He looked like he was trampled by a pack of elephants. His bruises had bruises for God's sake.

The man was, as stated before, a giant. An absolute unit as the boys over in England like to say. He had a long, rectangular head with mutton chops on either side of his face. His hair was Super Saiyan Three status, with a widow's peak that rivaled Vegeta's. He had two flame tattoos over where his eyebrows should've been and a large gash in the middle of his head. The cut ran down to his right eye and had become a bloody, puss-dripping scab. The rest of his head looked like a massive, swollen thumb from his treatment by the slavers.

He struggled to speak above a whisper, we had to strain ourselves to hear him, "Please...let me free too. My...my name is Jean Bart and I refuse to be a slave as well."

A voice behind me spoke up as well. It was the man who's mother I insulted, "Aye, me too. Let me free and I'll join you."

And then everyone started whispering as well, begging to be free. Even the woman I thought comatose started pleading in between sobs.

Sandokan looked at me, hard. I gritted my teeth and whispered loudly. I was going to lose my voice talking like this, "Shut up! I'm going to free everyone! But if you guys keep whispering like this someone is going to notice! I ain't going let a damn person be a slave," I said with absolute certainty.

The old Tigerman closed his eyes and smiled as 'thank you's filtered through the dark. I kept whispering 'shut up', trying to get them to quiet down before someone heard us.

"What's your name?" Sandokan suddenly said as I kept hushing people down.

"My name's Jamal Ashon Reed. Call me Jay."

He nodded with a smile, "Call me Sando then."

I cracked a smile as well, "Alright Sando, let's do this."

He nodded his head as all the slaves immediately quieted. I could feel everyone down here staring at me through the shadows. All eyes were on me.

I was used to this. I hated the pressure, but I was used to it.

I wouldn't let these guys down.

"Alright Jay," said Sando, "close your eyes and picture yourself. Imagine as hard as you can yourself becoming a half-Oni. Keep doing it until you feel something. Once you do, don't stop!"

I nodded fiercely and closed my eyes. The blackness of my eyelids slowly disappeared as I saw a blurry version of my self. Short hair, athletic build, black. That was me, yup. Ok, so I wasn't very imaginative, but I kept going. I imagined myself transforming like the Hulk into a red-skinned oni.

It didn't take the first time. Or the tenth time. Or the hundredth time. As time moved on I slowly fell into deep meditation. Over and over I imagined myself transforming into a red thing. I don't know how much time passed, but all I knew was it wasn't working.

I started thinking less oni and more like a halfway point. Giant, but not building-sized. Oni-like, but not monstrous like a demon. I imagined myself as a tall person with horns. Over and over. Maybe for hours.

Then something clicked. I felt my body shift as I opened my eyes in excitement.

My limbs stretched and grew disproportionally muscular. My waist elongated as my abs turned into a muscular belly like E. Honda. White horns the size of my human index fingers sprouted from my head. My canine teeth became even sharper and larger, along with the rest of my teeth. Hands and feet were no longer proportional to my body, becoming oversized and Street Fightersque in their ridiculousness. Even my hair was a long messy mane.

The explosion hit me and did absolutely nothing. Sandokan was right, I didn't even feel it.

My head shot through the roof as I was suddenly nine feet tall and staring at a guard on the floor above me. He looked at me in horror before I tore my arm through the wood and pulled him down to me like a movie monster. I slammed him into a wooden pole and he was out before I could drop him.

I turned to see Sandokan smiling with awe and joy. I reached down as he raised his cuffs. With a smash, my fists collided and the seastone cuffs were shattered. I felt absolutely feeble the moment I made contact with the seastone, but instantly felt better when the pieces fell away from me. I moved my feet away from the evil things just to be safe.

I hunched down like the monster I was and put my oversized fingers next to his explosive collar like I was catching a ball. I sucked in a huge, nervous breath, scared of what would happen next. But as Sando's eyes locked on mine I saw the faith he had in me. All my hesitation disappeared.

He roared and in seconds became a massive Tigerman. Giant orange and black fur erupted from him his skin as he stretched to be over seven and a half feet tall. His hands and feet became claws that raked the floor as his body became bigger and bigger. The muscles all over his body stretched and tore the pathetic slave clothing he wore as the material fought not to turn into shreds. His neck expanded to the size of a tree trunk and a massive tiger head with blue and green eyes formed on top of it.

That was also the moment his collar went off. I saw it in slow motion, the fire expanding outward from the metal ring threatening to engulf Sando and turn him into a fireball. My eyes were as wide as headlights as I willed the flames to come towards me. It wrapped around my hands, slithering up my arm like a snake, and settling around my shoulders into a cloak. Sando stared in fascination as the fire danced to my will.

We stared at each other with dumb smiles on our faces. We flung our hands up into the air and hugged each other, "WE DID IT!"

We broke apart and focused up. We weren't out of the woodwork yet.

"Alright, we have a minute before the Marines start swarming us. Can you hold them off while I release some of these guys?" I asked Sando.

The Tigerman nodded, a cruel smile filled with fangs came on his face. His voice was deep and powerful in his tiger-human form, "Aye, that won't be a problem at all," he punctuated his statement by flicking the claws in his right hand.

You do you, bro! You do you!

Sando raced up the stairs. I heard all hell break loose. A warm small came to my face.

I looked around and found the next person to release: Jean Bart.

In canon, he was part of Trafalgar Law's crew. I guess I was in the One Piece world before Bart became a slave to the World Nobles. That was concerning in a lot of ways. I'd deal with that later.

Because of my new size, I had to crawl over to the giant man who I now realized was way fucking enormous. The shadows down here made it hard to tell how big he was, but he had to be close to twenty feet tall. I forgot how tall this fucker was. Shit, he did wrestle a Pacifista.

But the way he laid on the floor made him look a lot smaller. He was curled up in a ball from all his injuries and, from what I guessed, a lack of food. I don't know how the slavers got him down here, but it must have been some fight.

I grabbed the collar around his neck and snapped it. The explosion came, but I grabbed the fire and added to my flaming cloak. Just like Sando, the giant tanked the concussive force with his yoked-out as hell neck. Jean Bart looked at me with such intense gratitude I felt I like a cheat for being given it. I got an overpowered fruit, not like I deserved any recognition. Anyone would have done what I did.

Hell, anyone who didn't would be a scumbag.

Big ol' manly tears started flowing from him like Kenshiro as he seemed to breathe new life. He pushed himself up to my eye level and began, "I owe you a debt I can't begin to repay. If it weren't for you, I would have been sold into slavery," he looked at me with steel in his eyes.

He wasn't like this in the manga or the anime. From what I remember he was a stoic dude. But I guess he's experienced some shit and the emotions were getting the better of him. Fuck.

I patted him on the shoulder, "Don't worry big guy. It's time for you're revenge."

He smiled something vicious, wiping away the tears and pushing himself with a strength that I couldn't even fathom. It was like he was a whole new person.

Jean Bart then smashed through three floors with the wooden pole that had held him and starting fucking everyone up. Holy shit.

I backed up as the mammoth man pulled himself through the hole he made and unleashed all the pent up fury he had on the Marines.

I moved on to one last person. The man who's mother I insulted.

Reaching the pole that had imprisoned me, I moved around it to find a man with silver hair that was in his thirties. Grey eyes and quirked eyebrows looked back at me as he saw the man who was about to release him. He had a cocky look to him, smarmy. The goatee didn't help either.

"Well, it seems you're an honorable man after all. I had thought you'd be some brute who'd renegade on his word," He said with easy confidence.

"Man, fuck you and you're mother."

"I'LL KILL YOU AND YOU'RE WHOLE FAMILY!" He roared he began thrashing against his chains.

"Calm down. Let me get you out-" My eyes widened to find he was also wearing a pair of seastone cuffs.

"You're a devil fruit user too?" I said with a surprised look.

"Of course. Why would someone as great as me not be? I'll help you defeat those Marines above as gratitude for my release. Though, I doubt you could do it without me."

Man, fuck you and you're mother."

"STOP INSULTING MY MOTHER!" He said as he tried to kick me.

"Fine, fine. I'll stop insulting your ma'. I'll release you. What're you called and what's you're power anyway?"

His smarmy smile covered came back as he closed his eyes, "My name is Peter Mara. They call me the Magnificent Mara, my exploits are known across all the four blues! I am the prodigious Pistonman! Be at awe for you stand bef-"

I cut him off before my head exploded from his speech. My fists smashed through the seastone cuffs and I quickly moved to destroy his explosive collar. His eyes widened as he swiftly turned his neck into a thick, metal piston that blocked the concussive force of the blast that my powers didn't protect him from.

"Alright Pete, I'm gonna' call you Pete, go up there and kick some ass."

He looked at me for a long moment, before giving me a genuine smile.

Then the smarmy look on his face settled back in and I wanted to punch his face. The Pistonman turned his legs into, well pistons, and flew through the decks like a missile. Again, tearing a hole through it like the wood was made of crackers.

I stared up at the holes in the boat, incredibly annoyed, "Come on! I'm planning on taking this thing!"

I sighed as I looked around to see if I could release anyone else that could fight. The sounds of the battle above sounded fierce and I didn't want to leave the three of them alone, no matter how strong they were.

After scanning the area, I realized everyone was either too weak or would be worthless in a battle with a bunch of Marines. I sighed and spoke out to everyone, "Alright! I'm going to deal with these fucking Marines! After I'm done you'll all be free to do as you please! That's a promise!" I said with absolute certainty.

The rest of the slaves looked up in hope, even those who could barely move. I smiled and raced up what remained of the stairs.

It was a war zone. A one-sided one at that. Marines tried their best to stop two devil fruit users and a man so big and strong he didn't need a devil fruit. I saw Sando slash through two marines with his massive claws with ease. Piston Pete was pulling a Big O and punching marines off the ship with piston-powered punches.

I smashed my fists together as I roared out. My deep, size-enhanced voice brought me to the attention of some of the Marines not getting their ass-kicked. A gang of them broke away from trying to stop Jean Bart, deciding that maybe I was the easier target. I smiled as I ran towards them, ready to show them that decision was a mistake.

Two of them raised their rifles and fired. My eyes widened in fear as I realized I was being shot at, my reflexes too slow to move out of the way. Instead, I raised my hands in a pathetic attempt to block them, my eyes closed as I braced myself for pain.

It felt like being hit by paintball, er, balls. Not really painful, especially when hopped up on adrenaline. The sound of the round bullets clattering made me laugh out loud.

"YOU CAN'T HURT ME, HAHA!" I yelled at them with all the class of Nelson from the Simpsons.

The three swordsmen didn't seem to like my comment as they slashed at me with their swords, almost in unison. I raised my left forearm to block their attacks in a supreme display of arrogance. To my surprise, the swords actually penetrated my half-oni skin. In another surprise, the cuts were shallow and failed to go any deeper than a quarter of an inch.

Damn, I was tough.

Still, it was a blow to find that I wasn't completely invincible. To make myself feel better I pulled my left arm back and slapped the three of them, hard. To my horror, they went flying off the ship. It was a distance of at least fifty feet. I could only look on dumbly.

I turned to the two marines with rifles. They stared at me. I stared at them. They dropped their guns and surrendered. I gave them a nod, respecting their intelligence.

Then I was smashed on the side of the head with something big and metal.

I went sailing through the air, only to stop with a tremendous thump by one of the masts of the ship. When the world stopped spinning, I looked up from my sitting position to see who had hit me.

It was the captain of the ship. I could tell by the Marine jacket and the cocky as shit smile he had on his face. He was carrying my iron club on his shoulder.

He walked over to me with arrogance, even though he looked weird as fuck. He looked like a walking bowling pin that had become animate. His head was long and tall and his body was round with stubby legs. His arms were weirdly out of proportion with the rest of his body, being too long for any normal person. He had a long, Fu-Manchu mustache that reached to the floor and blonde, balding, wispy hair on his head.

To top it all off, his mustache was black while the hair was blonde, making him look even odder.

The reincarnation of Mr. Potato head began to laugh, and that's when I truly knew I was in One Piece, "Oinoinoinoin! You have the gall to rebel against us, you lowly pirate slaves! Instead of becoming somewhat useful as slaves, throw away your worthless lives to fight against the Marines! If you give up now I shall consider sparing your lives, oinoinoinoin!"

"Oh yeah? We're wiping the floor with your crew! If anything, you should give up before we kill you all!" I roared.

Some of the Marines became unsure of what to do when they realized I was right. Jean Bart alone was wiping the floor with half the crew.

The Captain stroked one of his long, ugly whiskers as he looked at me with one eye closed, "You dare think you could defeat me, Captain Leonard!? I have eaten the Kami Kami no Mi! The longer my hair, the more powerful I am! I am truly invincible! Oinoinoinoinoinoin!"

I stared at him, completely baffled at how he thought he was so strong. He literally had a comb-over. Then I saw his mustache and realized his powers didn't only count for hair on his head.,I also realized how stupid he was for telling me his weakness.

I looked at him like the fool he was and lit his head on fire with all the flames I had stored. His mustache and Marine coat went up in a ball of flames. He hopped around the deck with his stubby legs, as his lanky arms did their best to stamp out the flames.

I laughed as he struggled to stop the flames. The captain dropped my club and decided that diving into the ocean was the best move, even though he was a devil fruit user. My eyes widened in surprise as I looked over to see him floating in the water like, well, a bowling pin. The top of his head above the water as his lower body bobbed around. I couldn't stop laughing.

I turned to see three marines staring in shock, mouths wide open and bodies shaking. They turned to me like I was going to eat them.

My hands clasped together with a loud pop, snapping them to attention. I pointed to one of them and began, "Alright. You, go tell all you're Marine buddies to surrender. Anyone who does will get to live, as well as be dropped off the next place we stop. We'll also give you all some cash so you don't starve until you're all picked up by you're Marine buddies."

"You! Go find the key for the slaves' chains and release them. If anyone tries to attack you after releasing them, tell me. No fighting until after I find out who treated us slaves like shit," I snarled.

"You!" I pointed to the last man, "Go fish your captain out of the drink before he gets eaten by a Seaking," I laughed.

The three snapped off a Marine salute from sheer habit. Two of them ran off to there assigned tasks while one of them stayed, shaking as he stared at me. It was the one who I had ordered to fish his captain out of the ocean. He was a kid, barely sixteen.

"Yeah Marine?

"Uh, well, sir. It's just that, um, if we follow your orders we'll get trouble."

I rolled my eyes, "Look, just say it was under duress. Or if you want, you can join my crew."

His eyes widened, "Crew sir? You're going to be a pirate!?"

I smiled, "It's all part of the plan," I said my best Heath Ledger Joker voice, "Look, don't worry about it and just help your captain before he drowns. He can't swim, even though he's vaguely penguin-shaped and surprisingly buoyant."

We both looked over to see 'Captain' Leonard bobbing like an apple, spitting out water in vain attempt not to drown. His mustache looked like weak, frizzy ant legs after a dose of my flames.

"Uh, sir, one more thing..."

I sighed, "Come on man, spit it out!"

"Uh, well, y-you're naked sir!"

I looked down to see my wiener dangling in the breeze.

I shrugged. Got to own it now. I waved him away with my hand as he gave me another Marine salute and ran off to find some rope or something for his captain. I looked around to see the battle.

Well, it wasn't much of a battle anymore. Sando had annihilated everyone at the bow of the ship and was sitting on a pile of bodies. Pete had taken out the marines at the stern, any remaining marines foolish to fight him would be piled-bunkered in the face. Jean Bart just fucking went ape shit in the middle of the boat and had tossed maybe half the crew off the ship.

I couldn't help but laugh as I sat naked on the railing of the ship, my club on my right shoulder. This world will be fun.

My eyes focused in on a pair of familiar-looking marines. It was the fuckers who butted me in the head with their rifles!

"Hey, you! Mother fuckers! Come over here!"

Their eyes widened in horror as I trounced on them.

That was the beginning of my adventure on the high seas...

+x+

Guyton laughed as he saw the naked man beating up the marine.

"This will be fun. Quite the entertainment."

The giant manta ray-like creature stared at you. Yes, you reader.

"Don't you agree?"


Author Notes:

Hey all! I hope everything is going well for you and continues to go well!

This is will be a fun little story that will link up (very far down the line) to my other story. Hunter Hunter.

Though, like my other story, we'll be exploring the world of One Piece. So unfortunately, we won't be seeing Luffy for a while.

I hope you enjoy

Note: I am not black, but the OC/IC is based on my friend and how he would react. They're obviously not exactly alike. Just his personality traits fleshed out more to be entertaining.

Fun fact: Open office tells me that without the Author Note section the word count for this first chapter is 6666. Hehehe.

Until next time dear readers!