"Come on, one more push. One more push. You can do it." I breathed out slowly, trying to calm my nerves.
Doctors talked loudly, the nurses were smiling and I held her hand, encouraging her to keep going.
She groaned, screamed and wiped away the glistening sweat on her forehead.
"One big push, Mrs. Salvatore and you'll see your little girl. Go ahead and give it all."
Katherine screamed out in pain and I huffed. I hated to see her suffer, but I knew it was all worth it once I heard the baby's first cry.
"It's a beautiful little girl!" A nurse cheered.
She was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid my eyes on. My daughter. The words still felt strange in my mouth, but I smiled proudly. I looked down at Katherine.
At that moment, my world stopped turning."Katherine." My heart beat fast. "Why are her eyes closed."
"Sir, we need you to step out." A nurse started pulling my arm. I snatched it away as I saw another nurse take my daughter. "What's wrong with my wife?" I yelled, trying to get close to the bed, but they were already pushing me out the door.
"Mr. Salvatore, please, this is an emergency." They pushed me out of the room and I was left .
In one single moment, I had gained and lost the most important women in my life.
Two, maybe three or four hours passed before a doctor came out.
At that time, my brother, my parents, and Katherine's parents were livid. They yelled at the doctor for an answer while I stepped back and waited.
"Mr. Salvatore." The Doctor looked apprehensive.
"My wife...how's my wife." I urged him to talk.
"I am sorry to tell you this." The Doctor looked away from my eyes.I stopped listening to his words.
A piercing cry was let out from Isobel's lips, my knees gave out, and I sunk to the floor as my own mother knelt next to me, hugging me, trying to soothe away the pain.
It didn't work. My world was already crashed. My soul was dead and I had lost any type of salvation. I cursed the world and cursed life.
"You didn't try to save her!" I looked up to see my father in law, John, who had just punched the doctor. In a matter of seconds, everything was a mess.
Doctors, nurses stood all around us, trying to calm us down. My father stood aside, and shook his head at the madness around us.
"I have to go back to work." He said, as if nothing had happened.
Mother cried by my side while Katherine's parents asked if they could see her body. Stefan felt dizzy and was carried away, and I was still on the floor.
Dead. Gone.
"You have to fight, Damon. You have to be strong for your baby." Amalia, my mother, whispered in my ear.
I breathed out.
Katherine's funeral was today.
I was still at home, drinking bourbon, a habit I had taken up since she died.
I smelt of booze. I looked like hell, but nothing seemed to matter that much.
I heard the front door knock open and I walked around the house as I heard a baby crying.
"Damon." Mother breathed out, carrying my daughter in her arms. "You're not ready."
I looked down at my clothes. Flannel pants and no shirt. Bourbon in my hands. "What for?" I asked.
"Katherine's funeral." She whispered.
"I'm not going." I retorted, rolling my eyes as she cradled the baby in her arms.
"Damon. It's been a few days...and I know you're hurting. I took the baby for the time being because I wanted to give you some time to...get yourself together. For your daughter, Damon, look at her. It's not her fault. I know you love her, so do something for yourself and for her. For the past few days, Katherine's parents have had to arrange everything for the funeral. We all have taken care of your responsibilities, but you need to start taking charge again. As much as it may hurt."
"I'm not going." I deadpanned.
"We haven't even named the baby, Damon." Mother's eyes showed sorrow.
Sorrow. An emotion I refused to feel.
A few days had passed, maybe a week or two.
I had not kept track of the days. I only kept track of the bourbon bottles laying around the house. Music was playing loudly from the speakers in the house. Loudly enough that I did not feel the knock at the door. I was walking downstairs when I caught a glimpse of the family.
There was my own Stefan, Giuseppe, Amalia.
Then there was Katherine's family: Isobel, John, and Katherine's baby.
"Well, I didn't get the memo. Is there a tea party or something going on?"
Mother sighed, holding the baby in her arms. "Shh, darling, it's all right."
"We need to talk." Isobel and John stated at the same time.
"Make it fast, because I have a business meeting to go to." Giuseppe huffed.
"Of course dad, you always do. You never have time for family." I smirked.
"Look, Damon. We are all in pain." John began."Katherine's death has been hard for all of us. I can't even imagine how you feel. You were her husband. You were by her side, everyday." Stefan continued, "But there's someone here who needs you now."
"This is your baby, Damon. You need to take care of the baby. You need to love your daughter. She lost a mom too." Amalia sighed.
I looked at the baby. She had big beautiful eyes, just like her mom. I smiled a little, but the feeling was destroyed as Katherine's memory flashed in my mind.
"What do you want me to do?" I asked. "I don't know how to take care of ...this." I huffed as my mother placed her in my arms.
She was soft and smelled like cotton candy. She felt so light in my arms, such a tiny human.
"I know, but we are all here to help you." Isobel stated.
"Isobel and I can't take care of her, we're old now. We can't support a baby." John said, "but we're here for anything you need."
"We are." My mom agreed, as Stefan shook his head.
"Right." Giuseppe retorted. "Now, that is clear. I have to go."
He stood quickly and left the room. The family kept talking to me, but I the only thought in my mind was Katherine.
Katherine was dead and this baby was here.
An hour or so passed. I was left alone with the baby and mother.
I took a shower and she put the baby to sleep. Mother made dinner and left the baby in her room - the room that Katherine and I had prepared before she was born.
I was sitting in the kitchen. Thinking. When mother came into the room.
"She's asleep for now." She sighed, black circles around her eyes. "She's a bit whiny at night, but she's still a newborn. It's normal. I'm going home. There's formula in the fridge. I made it earlier. You just have to heat it up and pour it in her bottle. I know you and Katherine took classes that taught you how to do all of this, so I don't have much to say." She placed a soft kiss against my cheek. "I'll come back tomorrow morning, all right? I'll bring a book that has plenty of cute names for girls. We can choose then." She smiled.
I blocked all sound out as she walked out of the kitchen. Out of the house. The house felt empty.
Katherine wasn't here. It was only me and that thing that took her life.
A pang of anger, guilt and God knows what hit me.
"I don't want to live in this house anymore." I ran to my room.
Grabbed a suitcase with clothes and placed it in my car.
I went to the baby's room and picked her up.
Part of me felt ashamed for I was going to do. But, Katherine was gone and I was nothing.
This baby would be better off without me.
Everyone was better off without what I was becoming.
I needed to leave this town. Yorkshire was no longer home.
I headed out the door with the baby. Placed her in the passenger's was not safe, but it would do for now. She was asleep and would not move, anyhow. I drove and drove for miles. Not knowing where I was headed.
Then I saw it: an orphanage.
I looked at the sleeping beauty, just like her momma.
I sighed and stopped my car.
I stepped out and took the baby in my arms.
I headed hour or two later, I walked out.
I felt emptier than the desert.
But my past was now buried behind me.
I started driving again, letting the road take me wherever it pleased.
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