"Say you love me, to my face. I need it more than your embrace."
Felicity hated this song. More than any other song that was currently playing on the radio. She looked up from her dessert plate which had a few crumbs remaining from a particularly delicious cheesecake. She felt stuffed in her royal blue evening gown. So much so she silently prayed that the seams of the dress didn't spontaneously bust at this very public event.
Oh how she wished she had her tablet with her so she could log onto the internet and hack into something to distract herself from the feelings that this song stirred in her. She had started to find it difficult to relax when she was supposed to be taking an evening off from helping keep Starling City safe. And that was what she was supposed to be doing. Enjoying herself with her friends and celebrating. And she was, except for this particular song made her think of things. Things she didn't want to think about. Things that she told herself she couldn't think about in a small personal attempt to keep herself from getting hurt.
"Just say you want me, that's all it takes. Heart's getting torn, from your mistakes."
"Damn it." She mumbles to herself as she slides her chair back from the round table she was sitting at. She glances across the room and her gaze settles on the newlyweds. John and Lyla look very happy as they move in slow circles on the dance floor, both holding a squirmy Sara between them. Felicity thought Lyla looked stunning in her knee length lace wedding dress, hair pulled back from her face and with a delicate diamond necklace hanging around her neck. Diggle was very handsome in a dark grey suit with a purple flower in his lapel which matched baby Sara's dress. That moment right there was exactly the thing that Felicity didn't want to think about. The moment she wanted so badly for herself but couldn't have. Love was radiating across the dance floor from the bride and groom and watching it made Felicity's heart ache.
"Cause I don't want to fall in love if you don't want to try.
And all that I've been thinking of, is maybe that you might."
"I need some air." Felicity tells Roy, who is sitting at the chair beside her. He had been leaning in whispering something in Thea's ear.
"You ok?" Roy asks, glancing her way. Even Thea and Roy look unbelievably happy. What is it with weddings that seems to bring couples closer and makes single people feel, well, more single? Stupid flowers, cake, rings and blowing bubbles. Who blew bubbles anymore? Felicity thought thinking about how cheesy it was, at the same moment knowing that she had pictured her wedding with lots and lots of bubbles.
"Baby it's looking like we are running out of words to say, and love's slipping away."
"I'm fine." Felicity says as she stands up in a hurry, inadvertently knocking her chair right over, only to be caught by the person who appeared behind her.
"Whoa."
Felicity's heart skipped a beat at the sound of Oliver's voice. She hated that he had this effect on her. She hated the way that his voice sounded like heaven to her ears. She hated that the suit he was wearing as he had stood up beside John, as his best man, fitted him like a glove. She knew that underneath that shirt was a body so sculpted that few people could match its strength, and hell, she knew how sexy it was. Just thinking about Oliver shirtless it sent a rosy flush to her cheeks. He was scruffy, rugged, and unbelievably gorgeous.
It had taken Felicity weeks to find the right dress. It took over an hour to get herself ready tonight, styling her hair so it flowed past her shoulders and squeezing herself into a very risqué, backless dress. But she had felt sexy putting it on, that feeling only now challenged by the second piece of cheesecake she had opted for.
The look on Oliver's face when he had seen her for the first time that evening had been worth it. She had noticed the way his breath caught in his chest when she had walked down the path to the outdoor gazebo where John and Lyla were about to exchange vows. She had been given the task of holding Sara's tiny hand to lead her down the aisle towards her Daddy before Lyla followed behind them. Felicity had seen the way Oliver's eyes followed her with what she could only describe as desire before all eyes turned to the bride coming down the aisle. Well almost all eyes. Even then when everyone else was looking at Lyla, Oliver's eyes remained on Felicity. She had felt it without even having to look at him.
"Just say you love me, just for today and don't give me time, 'cause that's not the same."
But right now Oliver stood there, holding her chair which he had caught a second before it landed on the floor, looking effortlessly handsome, and his blue eyes sparkling.
Felicity had made promises with herself to try to move on. Try to date. Try to live her life. Because she wanted so much more. She wanted more then she knew Oliver could give her. Or what he was willing to give her. It had been over a year since Sara was murdered. Over a year since Felicity told Oliver she wasn't going to wait with him down in the Foundry. Over a year since they had gone on their first and only date. Over a year since that gut wrenching kiss in the hospital corridor. And over a year since she was happy.
"Sorry, Oliver." Felicity apologized, trying very ungracefully to step aside so she could slide the chair under the table. Unfortunately her very tall heels caught the bottom of her floor length dress, causing her to stumble. In an instant, Oliver had her in his arms, steadying her, not allowing her to fall.
"Are you ok?" Oliver asked. He pulled back to peer into her eyes. Felicity felt his hands on her bare back, instantly sending tingles up her spine. Her stomach started to get butterflies, which always seemed to happen when Oliver touched her.
"Want to feel burning flames when you say my name.
Want to feel passion flow through my bones, like blood through my veins."
"I'm fine. Really." Felicity says, taking a small step back. "It's this stupid dress. It's too long. I should have worn track pants"
"You look beautiful." Oliver interrupts her. He gazes at her like there is no one else in the room. He raises his hand and runs his thumb over her cheek. She instinctively leans her head into his hand, relishing how close he is to her and how warm his skin feels on her cheek. Felicity closes her eyes for a second, as a slight moan escapes her lips. When she opens her eyes again her gaze locks with Oliver's and she sees this desperation in his face.
"Cause I don't want to fall in love, if you don't want to try."
"Dance with me." Oliver says. It's not a question. Felicity can tell by the way he says it that he needs her. Needs her to dance with him. Something in his demeanor has changed. Something about him looks different tonight. An urgency; a longing; a want in his eyes that she hasn't seen since their dinner at the Italian restaurant on their first date.
"I don't really like this song…." She trails off, sensing from him that trying to deny him wasn't going to work.
"Please." He whispers, leaning in close to her ear. She can feel his stubble on her cheek and feel his breath on her neck. He smells so good.
"Yes." She says, nodding her head. Oliver smiles at her, relief flooding his eyes and with one hand resting on her open back, he glides her to the dance floor.
"But all that I've been thinking of, is maybe that you might."
Oliver wraps his arms around Felicity's waist as she places her hands on his shoulders. He moves her in perfect rhythm to the music. Within a few moments she feels him pulling her closer. Her body fits against his like they were made for each other. She finds herself resting her head against his chest and can hear the thumping of his heart beneath his perfectly tailored suit. Felicity feels Oliver's strong hands glide along her bare back, caressing the delicate skin along her spine. She had never been so happy with a dress purchase before in her life.
Felicity kept trying to remind herself that this is the man that chose not to be Oliver Queen a year ago. Who decided that he could only be The Arrow. The man that chose to not be with her over fears of what might happen instead of what could be. The man who shut her out and pushed her away. Felicity wanted to remember these things so she wouldn't get sucked back in by Oliver, no matter how much she loved him. It took too long to move on the last time and her heart was still trying to heal all these months later.
"And, Baby, it looks like we are running out of words to say, and love's slipping away."
"Felicity." Oliver whispers into her ear. Felicity feels him pull back and look at her. His hands remain wrapped around her waist, like he is almost afraid to let her go.
"Oliver." Felicity responds.
He looks nervous. Felicity sees him take a deep breath trying to gain his composure. This wasn't the Oliver Queen she was used to seeing.
"What's wrong?" Felicity asks. "Please tell me you aren't going to ask me to run some background check on some low level thug right now because I am not wearing the right outfit for that. And plus," she adds, "We are supposed to have the night off from saving the world."
They seem to have stopped dancing to the music and Oliver is giving her a quizzical look.
"What?" she says "You try wearing these heals. Not all of us look sexy in nothing but green tights. I …mean …not sexy. I….." she blushes as she stumbles over what she was trying to say. "Did I say sexy? I just meant that some people may not look as good as you in tights. I'm just going to stop talking. Now. Right now." She takes a deep breath, closing her eyes. After counting to three in her head she looks at Oliver who is staring at her with the faintest look of longing on his face. She swears that his eyes are even slightly damp.
"Won't you stay? Won't you stay? Slowly, slowly, you run for me. But do you know me at all?"
"Felicity." Oliver starts again. He gently takes both of Felicity's hands in his own. His fingers feel firm against hers and she feels his thumbs gently trace circles on her palms.
"Someone told me love controls everything, but only if you know."
"I was wrong." Oliver says.
"Oh….?" Felicity isn't sure where this conversation is going. But she can't help her heart from beating just a little bit faster.
"I was so wrong." Oliver continues. He has this look of hurt and longing in his eyes. "I wanted to be alone. Well, I tried to convince myself that I was better off alone. That I couldn't be with someone I loved because I had to be the Arrow."
"Cause I don't want to fall in love. If you don't want to try."
"I know, Oliver. I remember." Felicity remembered that moment like yesterday. The moment that he broke her heart.
"But now I see things differently. The city no longer needs me to be The Arrow. Well, not as much as before. We have Roy, Diggle and even Laurel. This burden I accepted as my fate feels less like a burden. I'm ready for more. So much more," Oliver brushes a hand along Felicity's cheek.
"If you will still have me. If you will forgive me, I want to…..I need to be with you." His voice catches in his throat as he is overcome with emotion.
'But all that I've been thinking of, is maybe that you might."
Felicity does everything in her power not to let the tears that are rimming her eyes fall. Oliver has rendered her utterly speechless, a task only few have ever accomplished.
"I love you Felicity. I tried not to for your own safety, but I can't not love you." Oliver pauses. "I have never loved someone the way that I love you. And if you will let me, I promise you I will never hurt you again."
She felt like she was dreaming. Did she really just hear what Oliver just said? She didn't even want to move for fear he was going to change his mind, or worse she was going to wake up and realize this never happened.
"So, um, you love me?" she asks.
"Cause I don't want to fall in love,(no,no,no,no,no,no) if you don't want to try (try, sometimes)."
"Yes Felicity. I have loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you." He takes a step closer to her, wrapping his arms around her. He studies her face for a moment before leaning in and kissing her. Gentle and soft soon gives way to passionate and desperate. Felicity has never been kissed this way before. Never with so much emotion.
Needing air, Felicity was the first to pull away.
"Baby it looks like we are running out of words to say, and love's floating away."
"So you love me." She says as she reaches up and runs her fingers over his lips, where her mouth had just been. Oliver chuckles nervously, as his gaze remains firmly on hers.
"Because I never stopped loving you." Felicity tells him. Relief floods Oliver's eyes as a beautiful smile spreads across his face. Felicity touches his cheek and leans up and kisses him, a kiss that is quickly returned.
After a few moments, lost in their own world, Felicity notices the song has ended. Oliver seems to take note too, and takes her hand to lead her off the dance floor.
Just then Felicity hears the guitar opening of a song she really does love.
"Oliver?" She stops in her tracks. Still holding her hand in his, Oliver turns to look at her.
"Dance with me." Oliver is quick to comply. He wraps her up in his arms as the music surrounds them.
"When I look into your eyes, it's like watching the night sky
or a beautiful sunrise, there's so much they hold.
And just like them old stars. I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are. How old is your soul?"
"Now this is a song I love." Felicity tells Oliver as he holds her tight and dances with her. As her head rests against his chest she can see John standing off to the side of the dance floor beside Roy and Thea. They are all looking at Oliver and Felicity dance. John is nodding softy, with a complacent look on his face. Thea is snuggled into Roy, a small smile on her lips. Felicity feels Oliver kiss the top of her head.
"Well I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough.
I'll give you all my love. I'm still looking up.
And when you are needing your space
to do some navigating,
I'll be here paitently waiting to see what you find.
'Cause even the stars they burn, some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn, God knows we're worth it. Oh I won't give up."
"Yes," Felicity says, running her hand up Oliver's back. "Now this is a song I love."
