A/N: Before we start, know that I've edited the last chapter's timeline (just some minor stuff)
You know, even though I have review moderation enabled on my account, I make sure to never delete any reviews unless they contain insults towards me or anything not related to the story. I don't care if you want to shit on my fic or my version of Naruto.
I'm writing this because someone or some people have been leaving guest reviews on several chapters all reiterating a variation of the same opinion: Naruto's a pussy/boring.
So here's my response:
The fact you believe a version of Naruto that is not particularly OOC and holds many similar ideals to the canon version is, as you say so cleverly, a "pussy" shows you've never particularly liked the original Naruto.
The most OOC thing I had my Naruto do is be a good dad if a dorky one.
Now I'll be the first to point out the flaws in Naruto's character, most particularly his overly forgiving personality. I find it irritating because Naruto has never taken into account the consequences of forgiving someone or even taking such a risk.
But here's the thing.
This Naruto is ridiculously OP. He might not have the Rinnegan or the Sharingan or other BS abilities but I will reveal later on the extent of his power (I hinted at it in the timeline last chapter).
Knowing that, if the person he intends to forgive is far weaker than him (which a LOT of people are), he can both take the risk of forgiving them and avoid any collateral damage in doing so.
Believe it or not, Naruto is decidedly acting like an actual adult when taking the consequences of his actions into account.
Imagine that!
A fic where Naruto doesn't just fuck around with everyone and hope it works out!
A fic that's not purely an edgy power trip! Oh my Lord! I must be going crazy!
…
Ahem
With that said, on with the chapter!
"What the hell? Is that Kaguya? Oi! Weren't you sealed?"
"You speak of my previous shell, this is a different one"
"What do you mean?"
"The one known as Kaguya Otsutsuki was nothing more than an extension of my true self with naught but a silver of my power, a medium to use whilst my main body continued to slumber"
"Who...no… what are you?"
"You may know me as the mother of all earthly life, the one whose body you insects have chosen to inhabit and desecrate."
"..."
"I am Gaia"
~~Memories of an Age's End~~
Auntie Em's Garden Gnome Emporium, 3rd of September, 2000
"And then, after scaring me half to death, the little brat had the nerve to laugh at me!" Zetsu heard his father exclaim before the ensuing giggling of their guest emitted from the inn.
He had just come back from re-assimilating Ze-Two into him. The clone had proven to be every bit as crafty as the original. Unfortunately for it, as soon as Zetsu's rage subsided he had remembered the fact he could simply remote-control his duplicates and simply did so.
"Zetsu! You finally come back! Come here and introduce yourself to this lovely young lady"
"Ufufufufu" Hestia held a hand to her mouth as her cheeks colored a bit, "I think you'll find I'm anything but young Naruto," she said modestly only for the blond man to wave his hand dismissively.
"Eh? What do you mean? I'm the old man here! Bahahaha!" the man laughed.
Seeing the previous tension in the air had dissipated, the green-haired Uzumaki decided to join in on the conversation.
"Pops, what were you talking about?"
"That? Oh, I was telling Hestia about that time your brother; remember little Māui?" At Zetsu's nod he continued "Anyway, I was talking about that time he faked drowning in the ocean. Took after his old man in the pranking department, that one! Bahahaha" The man slapped his knee as he reminisced about one of his sons.
"Hmmm" Zetsu nodded at the answer. He indeed remembered that one, and although he was more obnoxious than he'd liked, his little brother was still one of the best people he had met. The legacy he'd left behind among the people of the Pacific ensured that myth or not, Māui would remain a beloved figure to everyone who heard his story.
After Naruto calmed down, he finally gestured for his son to sit next to him.
"Ya know? Hestia-chan here" the woman in question raised an eyebrow at the honorific "has told me an interesting story…"
Zetsu began to pale in dread and made to escape before feeling his father's hand grip his scalp and freeze him in place.
"A story which my dear boy conveniently forgot to mention in his recounting last night… about how MY SON, who I know I'VE RAISED BETTER THAN THAT has gone and committed petty theft and driven her poor sister to hysteria" Naruto's tone, coupled with his glowing eyes gave him a menacing vibe.
"I-I-It wasn't me Pops! My stupid clone did that!" the younger Uzumaki pleaded.
WHAM
"OW!"
"BOY" Hestia jumped in surprise at the blond's sudden movement. He moved at high speed, let go of Zetsu's scalp before delivering his patented Chop of Fatherly Disappointment™ not a nanosecond later.
"Unlike my clones, yours are technically other versions of you, they would literally do anything you would Zetsu! Not only that, but you also went and committed the greatest mistake you could possibly have!" the father scolded his son.
Hestia nodded in agreement and gave a look of understanding to the blond. Although somewhat harsh, she could understand the boy needed to be disciplined.
'He's a good parent' she thought, impressed, and was once again reminded of her mother.
Naruto's hand raised in the air and delivered a second, just as intense, chop.
WHAM
"OWWWW!"
"Pranking One-Oh-One! Never get caught and if you are, shake off the blame! You took back the clone before he could face justice! What is this, amateur hour?" the Sage threw up his hands in exasperation. Zetsu for his part nursed the growing lump on his head with both hands.
"I'M SORRY POPS"
"DON'T APOLOGIZE TO ME, YOU IDIOT!"
'Ah' Hestia mentally gawked at the outrageous actions, 'nevermind'
It seemed the man had more layers to him than she had thought. Not even their "exchange" earlier that day could truly prepare her for his unpredictableness.
A very strange man indeed.
"Well now that this is over with," Naruto said, before once again grabbing his son by the head and forcing him to bow alongside him "I wish to formally apologize for my son's behavior, if I meet your sister, I will make sure he apologies to her and compensates her for the damages," the man said resolutely.
"Sorry for the trouble," both father and son said in the same breath.
The goddess stood a little surprised. It was unnerving for her to see someone so powerful bow their head to her, or even act so much unlike her expectations. But then again, she'd come to learn in her long life that preconceived notions could never truly decide the way one should see the world.
"It's alright, please raise your heads," she said softly.
Naruto did so and shot a grin at the goddess "You really are kind Hestia-chan, most people wouldn't hesitate on guilt-tripping me into doing whatever they want" the man said before bouncing closer to her, still in a seiza position.
He stopped when he was within two feet of her and leaned his face closer to hers. She almost recoiled back had it not been for the fact she could sense no lust in his actions. The man settled for simply gazing at her with a grin, his eyes looking into her flaming pair.
…
Before she could ask what he was doing, she felt the man's hand land on her head gently.
"Pat Pat!" the blond, voice filled with joy, while tactlessly giving the eldest Olympian a headpat.
Something not even her siblings had ever done.
'Oh,' the goddess flushed a golden color in embarrassment, and reflex took over.
SLAP
The deity's hand shot up and smacked the blond's cheek, the force of the strike was something the man clearly did not expect as he was sent careening into and through a wall. Zetsu looked on, not appearing to be the least bit worried. If anything, she could sense a tiny amount of vindictiveness from the shorter Uzumaki.
Not even ten seconds later, two doors swung open, with Thalia and Luke came out of their respective rooms in sleepwear and brandishing their weapons. While the privacy seals soundproofed the rooms they were in, they did not prevent them from feeling the entire building shake from Hestia's strike.
"What was that?/Mr. Naruto! I felt the entire room shake!" both shouted at the same time.
They spotted a veiled woman with orange flames where her eyes would be, standing and looking at them in surprise with a hand extended.
Naruto for his part was nowhere to be seen but from the big hole in the adjacent wall, one could only think that the lady, with her abnormal appearance and body frozen in motion mid-strike, was clearly a-
"MONSTER!" both demigods shouted and ran at the surprised deity spear and golf club raised in the air.
"DIE!" a single warcry tore out of their throats as they flung themselves at their perceived enemy.
"OOMPH" Before they could get any closer, air escaped their lungs as they were abruptly blocked and hoisted up over Zetsu's shoulders (who had taken his human disguise).
"Stop it you two, she's not a monster" The (now) teenage-looking Zetsu's voice cut through Luke and Thalia's protests and struggles. A few minutes later, both teens were calmed down and sat on the ground with many questions on their minds, Zetsu had taken a similar position facing them while Hestia sat at the edge of the trio, getting back her bearings.
Booming laughter erupted from outside the destroyed wall, cutting through the tension.
"BAHAHAHAHAHA! You're packing a hearthy wallop in those stringy arms aren't you?" Naruto had an easy-going grin on his face, despite the red handprint taking up a third of it. He did not look like a man who was just had, eloquently speaking, the bitch slapped out of him by an embarrassed goddess.
The Sage stepped over the still-standing portion of the wall and got back into the room to look at the occupants. Thalia and Luke were looking at him like he had grown a second head, Zetsu's palm was acquainting itself, once again, with his face, and Hestia?
The goddess did not take teasing well from how golden her face had gotten.
Naruto's grin widened. Ah, nothing like some comedy to ease up the tension, why he had the perfect pun prepared for this occasion.
"Seems like we got ourselves a" he looked at the four seated people "sit-uation" he winked for added effect.
…
The other four occupants stared at the winking man in silence, all with different thoughts.
"HYAAAAAH!" A scream rang out from Thalia's room as Little Annabeth, clad in a makeshift pillow armor she'd tied with parts of the bed covers came out of the door swinging. She wielded a hammer and a small dagger in either hand and tried her hardest to look as threatening as possible.
Silence reigned once more, Naruto's face was still frozen mid-wink. No one spoke for a few seconds.
"Pffffttt!" Hestia's cheeks puffed out suddenly before the goddess, followed by everyone sans Annabeth exploded in laughter.
The little girl looked confused before laughing meekly alongside the group.
"Bahahaha! That was great!" Naruto wiped a tear from his eye as he sat in the same position he was in before his trip through the wall.
"Ufufufufu! Indeed, I have not laughed like this in quite some time" Hestia's face was still flushed, but this time from sheer mirth.
Her statement drew a shocked look from Naruto "Eh? That's a dam-er darn shame" he faltered when she held up a bar of soap threateningly "I-er mean, one should always laugh! Makes living fun! Hah-haaa!" he laughed uneasily.
"Hmmm well, you'll be surprised at how dull Olympus can get. If it wasn't for the occasional fights I have to break up or my nephew's TV show, I doubt there would be much for me to do" the deity said somewhat melancholically.
SLAM
Everyone sans Naruto and Zetsu jumped in surprise when the blond slammed his palm to the ground, a tense atmosphere enveloped them as the man's hair hid his eyes.
"That..." he said lowly before raising his head, revealing a smirk "is unacceptable! Tell you what? How about spending some time with us?"
"Wha-"
"But-"
"Pops you can't-"
"Shush" the man's words silenced any protests Thalia, Luke and Zetsu might have had. Annabeth for her part had retreated back to her room to read, after taking off the -in Naruto's opinion- adorable outfit, much to the man's chagrin.
"Hestia-chan here has been nothing but a delight to be around!" he ignored the groan coming from his son before continuing "The whole point of this trip is to have fun-"
"I thought it was getting to camp" Luke whispered to Thalia, heedless of the older blond's glare.
"-and I will not let anyone feel excluded! I expect you to give her a warm welcome and for all of us to get along!" the Sage finished his statement.
Thalia and Luke seemed satisfied, but Zetsu looked constipated.
Naruto briefly realized the hypocrisy of his actions. He had just scolded his own son for potentially blowing their cover and yet here he was willing to mingle around with one of the beings they were supposed to hide from.
Eh… What can he say?
In for a penny, in for a pound… Might as well gain Hestia's friendship.
She seemed like a nice gal, especially with how happy she looks right now...
The goddess of the Hearth was positively touched by the invitation.
She could feel an inner giddiness at being able to spend time with not just the demigods -her family- but also the father and son who had become a great subject of interest to her.
It occurred to her how rare such an instance was, where she was able to drop her guard around outside of Olympus, especially around her family.
Oh, she could not wait to learn more about the three demigods! What were their likes? Dislikes? Ambitions or dreams for the future?
What were their personalities like?
From her brief glimpse into their emotions, it seemed her niece was more like her father than she realized, a little spitfire that one. Her grandnephew Luke seemed a bit of a downer, but if what she'd heard from Hermes was correct, that was, unfortunately enough, a natural result of his past.
And little Annabeth?
That little ray of sunshine absolutely must be protected! Ah, it was almost like seeing a child version of Athena! So cute!
If only her little brother hadn't been such a stickler when it came to gods seeing their children, she'd have been all over watching over the children…
Sigh
Well, only one thing to do now...
"I gladly accept your offer, Mr. Naruto! But please, let me make breakfast for you all! It's the least I could do!" She said earnestly.
"Wah? No way! You're a guest here!" the blond waved his arms in front of him in disagreement.
"I assure you it'll be no trouble at all! Cooking is a pleasure for me, especially for family!" the deity insisted.
"Ahhh! But aren't you all about manners? Well, it'd be bad of me to let you work!" the man argued.
"Oh shush! It'll be done in an instant!" she waved away his concerns.
"Oh come on! I was going to make my super special breakfast ramen!" he pleaded.
"I think not! Noodles are not a good way to start the day" she disagreed vehemently.
GASP " You take that back!" the blond looked as if he was physically struck by that statement
"Ufufufu, if anyone needs me, I'll be in the kitchen" she disappeared in a swirl of fire.
"Oi! Come back here!" Naruto ran towards the kitchen.
Thalia and Luke watched the back and forth with conflicting expressions.
Thalia for her part was mostly surprised at how calm Mr. Naruto and Zetsu were being in this situation, so much so that the father was bantering with her!
Bantering!
With an all-powerful goddess!
What even was this?
Can someone be that brave or was is it just pure stupidity?
What?
"I am so lost right now" she admitted honestly and Luke for his part nodded with her statement.
"I hear you, I knew Mr. Naruto had guts but I didn't know he had a death wish too" he said in a deadpan before huffing as the ravenette's elbow dug into his side.
"Don't be mean!" She said with a frown before sighing and crossing her arms.
"But yeah you're right… I mean I'm not dreaming right?" she pointed at the kitchen door "that was Hestia right? My aunt?" she questioned.
"Yup…" the teen admitted.
"My dad's sister? Eldest Olympian?" the freckled
"Yup..." his tone was the same.
"...she sounds pleasant enough" Thalia admitted reluctantly.
"Yup..."
"Say 'Yup' one more time and you'll be making another sound" the girl shot the smirking blond a glare.
Luke opened his mouth as if to taunt her, before wisely closing it and nodding, smirk still in place.
Thalia huffed before turning to look back at the door "...I can't trust her yet" she muttered.
"Same" He nodded without any fuss.
They'd already been screwed over enough by their supposed 'family', they couldn't let their guard down now. Mr. Naruto and Zetsu might have been strong enough to fend off monsters, but gods were in a different league.
Thalia flinched when she felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to see Luke looking at her seriously.
"No matter what, we'll stick together okay?" He said resolutely.
…
"Okay" her cheeks colored a bit at his intense gaze.
Later
'This is so unfair' thought Zetsu, as he sat on a table with the demigods and waited for their meals.
'I make a single mistake and get bonked, but Pops can just go ahead and open up to anyone he wants! Ughhhhh!' he internally groaned.
"Err you okay there buddy?" Luke asked worriedly after seeing a constipated look appear on the Uzumaki's face.
"Yeah, you've been awfully silent since all this happened. What? Are you scared or something?" What started off as concern from Thalia was quickly replaced with her usual snark.
"No, I am not," Zetsu said firmly before putting up a hand to support his cheek "But I am apprehensive of the potential risks of this development…" he did not elaborate further, opting to ponder on a possible solution for their problem.
It was by sheer luck that the only person to discover him knowing about them
"Sooooo you're scared" the ravenette sported a large teasing grin.
"NO"
Before the two could start a fight, the door to the kitchen opened and an enticing aroma flooded the room. The group all felt their mouths watering at the positively divine smell, as Hestia and Naruto walked back into the room, each with a plate stacked with pancakes on each hand. Two extra plates were put down for the two adults as put down the stacks. As a finishing touch, Hestia snapped her fingers and a bottle of maple syrup appeared and a bowl of fruits appeared in the middle of the table.
The demigods eagerly piled their plates with the fluffy breakfast food. Luke paused before eating as he held Thalia and Annabeth's shoulders. They looked at each other and nodded before looking up at the goddess's expectant gaze.
"Thank you, Lady Hestia"
The three said after remembering their manners, drawing a great smile on both the deity and the elder blond's face in the process. Naruto sharply looked at Zetsu with the same expectation.
The younger Uzumaki who had been in the process of cutting his own pancakes paused at his father's look.
"Yeah...umm thanks I guess," he said awkwardly. When he saw his father narrow his eyes, he huffed and recomposed himself.
"I mean. Thank you for the meal" Zetsu clasped his hands and lowered his head in gratitude to the goddess of the hearth.
Hestia smiled at the children in front of her.
"Oh, no thanks necessary my dears! Simply enjoy my food and that'll be enough for me" she said kindly, making Naruto internally gush at the wholesome scene.
Zetsu shrugged before taking a cut part of his pancakes and bringing it to his mouth.
Damn, the smell was really amazing...
Once the treat entered his mouth, however, he felt his mouth explode with flavor.
'This is' he thought as his face reddened in joy.
'Nirvana!' he internally shouted as he felt his own soul get lighter.
That was the day the expert food critic, Zetsu N. Uzumaki, learned what the perfect pancake was.
...
"Oh, by the way, I never asked you Zetsu, but whatever happened to your little friend?" the goddess asked, referring to Ze-two.
Her question snapped the dazed Zetsu from at the other occupants. The demigods were lost in their own happy places as the delicious food did wonders on their taste buds.
Naruto simply snickered before piling up his own plate and dribbling maple syrup all over it.
...
"Ah...poop" Zetsu adequately answered.
A/N: So that's chapter 9! Hope y'all liked it! There was originally gonna be a more touchy-feely scene with Naruto and Hestia but I figured it was both too early for it and it would have raised too many questions for Luke and Thalia.
I REITERATE THIS VERY IMPORTANT PIECE OF INFO I HAD SAID BEFORE: NARUTO WILL NOT BE PAIRED WITH HESTIA OR ANY OF THE VIRGIN GODDESSES, HIS POTENTIAL PAIRING IS ALREADY SET.
Leave a review to tell me about any potential improvements!
Also, I got another omake for you all! It's a scene I had no idea where to put this chapter
OMAKE
"Oh! Oh! Annie-chan do a pose!" Naruto crowed at the girl, still in her makeshift 'armor' as he held a large digital camera with a polaroid printer attached, and spammed picture after picture at different angles.
The demigoddess in question pouted at the man but obeyed him by raising her hammer half-heartedly.
"Oh come on! You can do better than that! Where's the flair? Where's your panache?" the blond urged Annabeth.
What did panache even mean?
Naruto didn't know, he just thought it made him sound fancy after he heard it once from a photographer on the street.
"Mr. Naruto, are we done? The cushions are stuffy!" the girl whined at the man. She even crossed her arms and stomped the ground! How cute!
"In a sec aaaaaaand DONE! Bahahaha! This one's going in the scrapbook!" the man smiled giddily while looking at the pictures, he finally selected one and waited for it to be printed. His statement got the attention of the two other demigods.
"There's a scrapbook?" Thalia and Luke asked at the same time, before blushing in embarrassment.
"Eyup! And it's got aaaaall the fun times we spent together" the man pulled out the printed picture and started rapidly waving it in the air.
At the demigods' inquiring gazes, he moved towards one of the camping bags they carried around and reached into it, discretely pouring chakra into a storage seal inside it, and making a large book appear in his hand, which he proceeded to pull out.
The scrapbook was a large monstrosity that looked like something a kindergartner would put together, with sprinkles, colorful papers, and stickers. It had "VACATION IN AMERICA" spelled with dry macaroni.
The man waved it around like one would do to a freaking college diploma before beckoning the kids over. The demigods approached Naruto as he sat down and opened the book, showing the kids pictures of different times, both embarrassing and memorable that they had spent together as a group.
Zetsu, who stood to the side and was already accustomed to his father's antics, huffed before making for the room's exit to occupy himself.
"Oh Ohhhh! Look at this one! Back when Thalia-chan admitted she couldn't swim! So we threw her in shallow water! Bahahahaha!" The blond father's guffaws echoed, followed by Luke and Annabeth's laughter, while Thalia joined in after pouting and huffing.
A small smile appeared on the younger Uzumaki's face. After everything, his pops being happy was enough to quell his worries.
