It's the 25th here, but it's probably the 26th of July here by the time you're reading, so I'll be wishing myself a happy birthday.
..Yay?
I should be happy and all, but honestly it feels quite empty. It's already pretty sad when you think about how I forgot that it was my birthday, I've been busy and all.
I should be excited about it, but it's just outright disappointing when you had to argue a lot for a simple gift of a $400 drawing tablet after being asked several times on what you wanted.
And we're more than financially stable, I'll have you know. Already cut down the price from 1200, to 800, and already 400. I don't know what else they want from me. So I told them to just not get it at all, since they clearly were implying they weren't happy with my choices.
What else can I do? I needed a better Wacom for work, but I don't know, maybe I'm just being unreasonable.
But hey, if you're reading this, don't forget to appreciate the birthdays and presents you get. Because I'm not getting anything, and I'll probably just celebrate this with a tiny slice of cake and call it a day. It's examinations soon too.
A sad story, I know, I just wanted to put my feelings out. But instead of making you feel bad, have the chapter instead.
Disclaimer: I do not own Honkai Impact 3rd. Be it characters, or the main story.
This being my first time writing something out of my usual Genres, so let me know what you think.
Another Chance:
My Desolation
Warnings:
- Go and fuck yourself, Otto Apocalypse Vol. 3, except it's the cooler guy and not the asshole.
- "Slight" graphic depiction of, well, trash getting beaten up.
- Kiana is lost. Be an advocate for 'Stop Kiana Suffering' today, more at 5.
- Shifting of perspective here and there. Pay attention carefully.
Bronya had no idea what she was looking at.
Her vision is greeted by a maniac, sadistic smile. Her ears hearing words of plain, outright cruelty. Eyes of gold gave her no more than a glance from the corner of her peripherals as the person crushes something with her shoe. She registers a sickening crunch, that may or may not have been the crushing of several bones- and a loud scream of agony was made by the one underneath her heel; belonging to none other than a man.
She plants her foot there, twisting it to edge her heels further into his ribs. She then raises a fist, which rained down over and over until his screams heightened even more, and they all mixed into one, long wail.
The silence etched a deeper grin on her face as the silver haired woman made sure she disintegrates him from head to toe, in extreme slowness to draw out the pain.
Bronya feels nothing towards the sight she was seeing, even if she had no ability to express her emotions in the beginning.
But it was at one point, when she sees several flying lances moving to rip and tear off the fake Herrscher Core out of his already mutilated body that was beyond recognition, her mind simply blanked out at the sight.
It was only after the terror was over did she come back to her senses.
"Kiana" straightens up, a satisfactory smile gracing her lips as she shatters the false Core in her palm. She lets the pieces fall to the ground, the fragments freezing and breaking into nothing but melting pieces of ice. From the ground, she shifts her gaze away from it, as if it was nothing more than mere trash.
And then her sights turned onto them.
With a simple snap of fingers, all the armoured mechs that surrounded the vicinity of the area were enraptured by paralysing sparks of purple before falling into a useless heap, crumbling and blowing up one by one.
The heat blew against her back, with her vision filling with light and the smoke fogged her senses and clogged up the back of her throat, whilst all the more the ground shook.
"Do you think using mere metal scrap and a pathetic fake will stop me?"
She doesn't catch the other events that occurred, words to be spoken to the air. All she could hear was static, drawn out into a thin crackling line.
"Kiana" fully turns, her golden eyes striking nothing but fear into her, even if it were just a glance.
And then she took a step.
Bronya inches back subconsciously, her cannon refusing to be raised up to aim at the very friend standing before her-
She was a friend. She is a friend. Her friend. And yet, she was not.
...
What she does not remember though, as her legs gave up on her and dropped to the ground, was that very same hand had reached out to her gently when she fell.
Even if it was stained and marred, and her knuckles were reddened with dried blood from possibly raining blows down on someone..
Her hands had lightly stopped her from falling fully flat onto the ground, and those baleful golden eyes instead became one of concern.
...
...
...
"I see," Fu Hua says. Her hand lowers back down to her lap as she dismisses the feather she held in her grasp.
Here she was, like a counsellor giving advice to a patient.
Not much concern for her health was needed for the case regarding her feathers, because simply resting for Fu Hua was more than enough for her to recover from a minor setback.
Until something happens over at Schicksal HQ, that is- pertaining to a certain silver haired woman who may be possibly getting chased around by Valkyries or Schicksal Aesir Mechs all over the place.
Somewhere, she's starting to regret not telling Kiana to hold herself back when it came to using her Herrscher powers. All she had done was simply tell her to not needlessly cut down people and whatnot.
Sharing some of her Divine Key's energy (over a certain threshold, it would instead become her own,) over to Kiana from a far distance, for multiple days and nights straight was something else on its own. Much so, that she may have to bring up the topic of it again once more should they find the Kaslana.
Hua had to enter the battle soon too, after all, and she wishes to be as sharp and prepared as she always would be. The Blade of Taixuan- and Eminence, is not as forgiving as it seems.
There was no point for her to even bother hiding Fenghuang Down at this point, and so she puts it to use. Bronya had asked with permission, of course. The truth was already spoken to the rest, about her own self, so at this point her friends are more than aware.
Speaking of Bronya, she was the one who had spoken to them of her ability to be able to appear in the dreams of other people, and the capacity to even manipulate them. So at that point, she had to answer immediately to it in order to quell the burning questions that may follow.
It was a long discussion she had with the Sniper prior to Anti-Entropy's arrival and rendezvous.
The tale of the Celestial that stood with the Ming Dynasty against Schicksal in Shenzhou five hundred years ago, was the most prominently known in their histories, and it was the first she would admit to them.
It had raised quite the number of eyebrows, and in a way, Himeko expressed that she somehow feels kind of weird that she had been teaching history to a person that had belonged and involved in the historical events herself.
And in a way, too, Bronya tells Fu Hua that that was cheating in the exams, because she lived far longer than everyone else that was in the room as of this moment.
While it may have sounded a little off-putting and sudden for those comments to appear during such a serious conversation; to Fu Hua, this meant that no matter her circumstances, they still considered her as family, a friend, and a student of St. Freya.
This would end up compelling her to be more comfortable, and allowed her to positively continue on without much worry.
For them to know that she was the 8th Herrscher was something she hesitated to speak, and so she had held back until the last.
"So you're telling me everyone here has the potential to become a Herrscher? Even me?" Theresa points at herself, a bewildered look on her face at the very thought and notion of it.
The reactions that came out from it were rather quite predictable, Hua admits to herself, bemused at that moment.
But then came the matter when it regarded her being a warrior as of 50,000 years ago, just a simple soldier fighting for her own survival in the Previous Era. That one was the largest blow of them all.
Eyebrows rose even higher, and even Mei that time could not even hide her surprise. The explanations she gave them and the reactions she received from it were more than just haphazard-
"-Class Monitor, you're spacing out again."
Fu Hua makes a silent, 'ah' with her mouth slightly open before closing it. Sensing the awkwardness that would've followed through with the silence she would bring, she coughs lightly into a fist before bringing herself back to where she had stopped-
-But the one before her already beat her to it. "The Bronya suggests stopping here for some rest, it has already been ten minutes."
She understands the notion.
Forty minutes had already passed. Twenty more minutes left. Once that reaches, it would become an hour.
It had been estimated that they would've arrived at Schicksal HQ within an hour.
The navy haired woman pauses, giving herself ample time to think, until one may be able to hear the grinding of gears in her head.
They had to prepare soon.
In the end, she resolves herself to a simple nod.
"Rest it is."
As Bronya moves to stand up and reach for the doorknob, the next comment from her would nearly cause Hua to stumble from her very own movements.
"The Bronya has noticed the Class Monitor interacting more with Mei-neesama."
Of course it had to involve the very person that was always making food for the Hyperion.
She regains her footing before closing her eyes, an exasperated sigh leaving her lips. "Truth be told, I do not have a single clue on what you speak and imply of, Bronya."
Fu Hua was somehow sarcastic. That was, somewhat a step in having her open up more, one could've possibly concluded from this alone- but ultimately, who would even know.
Her eyes flutter open. Of blue eyes meeting black.
It was dark. That was certain. Even the floor beneath her does not feel familiar, it felt rather empty.
Kiana pushes herself up from the ground, and what was once confusion turned into a spark.
A spark of rage within when her eyes focused. The cold feelings that once more ignited as soon as her eyes recognized whoever it was that was right there before her.
Even in her dreams, his face haunts her very much so.
"YOU!-"
He turns around, and she comes face to face with the man with serpentine eyes.
"Took you a while to get here, K-423 Kaslana."
It was when she pauses. Golden. Golden. Not green.
The thought of it settles in, sinking quickly to the bottom of her mind. The silver haired woman soon finds herself speaking, drawing out each of her words carefully, unconsciously balling one of her palms into a fist. "What, are you doing here?"
The Previous Era's First Herrscher glanced towards her with something that was akin to playful curiosity, glinting in his eyes.
"How tragic, I am not allowed to visit the very person who was able to connect with one of my feathers?"
Kiana stops herself. Connect?
The fist uncurls itself, raising up to the level of her vision to peer at it, she stares at it. Confusion floats up in her mind.
The feather in her hand, released rays of light- of blinding white lines, as if it leaked from multiple cracks, unwilling to be held back and contained within its seal- it blazed a brilliant blue before burning into flames of the very same colour.
A brief flash of white took over the world- that seemed to have spanned for more than mere seconds.
The crosses in her eyes faded away, leaving the azure to be without its companion of power. Once more, a normal shade of sky blue stared back at the darkness.
"That shouldn't be possible," She simply says, uttering out as the sentence echoes in her thoughts.
"Oh," The Divine Key replies, the words like songs in his tongue. He waves the air, and as if on cue and by his command, the dark world turned into a large realm. "But anything can be possible, when you know even things people don't."
It was as if an entirely new domain took over the other. A world of blue replaces the empty space, where the bookshelves stretched to a height so far one could not see where it would tower to. Platforms circle around them, as if they were one long flight of stairs to heaven.
Ethereal creatures that shaped to ones that belonged to none other than the sea flutter around in the open air, as if the library was none other than in the deep sea.
He stretches his arms out and wide, a loud implication to proclaim that all of it belongs to none other than him alone. "Welcome to the First Divine Key."
Where his name would share the same as none other than this grand domain of his own. The Void Archives.
She does not sit down for an imaginary cup of tea- even if it does not exist in the first place, nor give any pleasantries. He may greet her, but she does not follow through with it.
Kiana looks and narrowed her eyes at him, even if she did not reach more than his height, and she had to look slightly upwards. "Why am I here?"
"I'm here to give you an offer. Anti-climatic, isn't it?" He glances at her. "Ah, yes. You wouldn't mind sparing a few minutes, would you, young Knight? Believe me, I've already gone against that Overseer of yours to just simply ask you this."
She disappoints herself in expectations. What else would these people be coming after her and finding her for? She stares at him, for a long painful silence.
"Oh?" He looks up. "You will not?"
He plays with the syllable of the last word, an echo resounding throughout the frozen illusion as if it were mocking her.
Kiana doesn't flinch, she tilts her head as she speaks in a monotonous tone, an eyebrow raised. "I won't. We have spoken before. This is just an elaborate trap you've set up by taking advantage of.. whatever his plan even is."
His golden eyes lands on her, but it felt like as it were staring through instead of directly at her.
Kiana knows that behind her back, there was nothing and no one.
"I see. You're the same." He simply notes. For whatever the same would've meant, she never found the strength nor chance to question. He immediately swings his body towards the railings that seemingly appears out of nowhere, along with the world, and he hoisted himself up on it with a single action; directly shifting his entire upper body to face her.
"How about we strike a deal instead? Since you clearly know my intentions, I see no problem in stating my reasons." Spoke the old Herrscher, who became an inhuman and cruel weapon and tool, coded to destroy the Honkai by any means necessary.
He doesn't seem like a reasonable man for his title. You know, the Herrscher of Reason.
Kiana only flickers one eye towards his direction. The other, as equally bright as her blue gaze that affixed on everything, and deep as the abyss that she was trapped in- does not.
"Destroy the Honkai, and I will not meddle or interfere with your plans." He says it with the same tone that one would tell someone that they already had the high capability of performing such a feat, and it would be nothing more than a cakewalk for them.
She has no reason to believe this is a lie, but Kiana knows that there was something in his eyes, a glint that could only be described as off-putting.
There was doubt, but she does not reject the offer either way. This was because she knew she would've given the same in such scenarios.
Much gone was her honest and dutiful sincerity. It was still there, roaring in her blood and heart to protect anyone she could- even the ones she had not known nor met in her life, but it has changed.
She has changed.
"You will not?" This time, Kiana blankly directs the same line back at the man, her gaze unchanging as ever.
His eyes were full of mirth at such, even as he does not reply to her question.
"And what of Otto?" Kiana continues in her tone of dullness, yet the words were sharp as a blade. The question, that neither had touched, had finally been thrown. Its intention, long hanging over them like a looming anchor, drops.
Void Archives pauses, turning around to look at her. In a heartbeat, he opens his palms wide, spreading them in a questioning manner.
"What of Otto Apocalypse?"
The silver haired woman does not blink at the question. Her hands do not close into fists in gushing rage. Her gaze calmly turns to look at him. Her movements slow and serene, her mouth silent-
-But it does not hide the intent that glowed and pooled in her glowing eyes.
"What would he have you do if I didn't escape?"
He does not leave his eyes off her, he closes his palms and folds his arms behind his back, a curious look taking form in his gaze. "Would you like to know?"
Somewhere within, a portion of her mind tells her to not go for it; it could've been a catch, just a bait to the fishing line that might make her step into a territory she dare not tread.
Yet somewhere else, she was just simply curious to what was held in store for her- even if it was objected with countless, several memories of knowing what Otto could simply try and do to her.
It was a mental debate that lasted for a few, short seconds that may have stretched into eternity. Kiana looks at him, her stare meeting his own.
With a sigh that she could not tell whether it was real or fake, the Void Archives simply replied. "A small portion should convince you. While it's quite compelling for me to have you agree for my own entertainment, I rather not break you without getting my answer yet.."
He smiles as he rests his head in his hand, throwing a golden feather into the sky.
It was sudden. The ground below Kiana's feet simply opened up and swallows her, giving her no time to even react or comprehend before removing her from the current space for a curt moment temporarily.
"It would really be a shame if our potential hero would give up on herself after this, but who is to know, that I, love Otto Apocalypse as much as you do?"
She had placed a warm hand against the cold glass, its crystalline clear surface slowly clouding and fogging up with her sighs.
"If I had known about it sooner in the past.. Would everything have changed for the better?"
Would Nuwa and Fuxi have passed away more peacefully instead?
Would her students have loved her genuinely if she had not killed their parents? If she had not turned out to be a merciless killing machine?
Would they have all not died in vain just so that she could've lived?-
She palms the knife in her hand. It was a small thing; tiny and seemingly would've broken into half from just a stab in the wall, yet it was the sharpest knife she ever held in her grasp. Hua glides her fingers over the ornamental carvings, where the case of wood banded with rings of gold.
It was an item she received from Shenzhou.
The Celestial would've simply taken it as a decorative gift, the Warrior of the Previous Era would've deemed it as a sign of an impending death or war- but the Hua that now stood in her battlesuit facing the clouded sky as they flew past the disabled, broken barriers of Schicksal territory deemed it as nothing more but a sign of her past.
Her past of regrets and tragedy, of a path filled with nothing but blood.
For that, she places the knife back to where it first came from, in the soft material that was contained within that small wooden case, before closing the box shut with the lid.
She faces forward. The time was nearing. Fu Hua is willing to put aside the past for this battle. She stands up from her chair, and her battlesuit of night and purple gleams in the sunlight.
To be free from dust and as clear a mirror, to be well and let her mind become one with the still waters, that would be her will to fight.
Until her regrets would catch up to her once again, she steels herself to not falter.
She fell into a vast ocean, and it was as equally deep as it was large.
A world where she fell down, piercing the layer of the abyss and turning away from the surface high.
How long she had been here, it was a question she did not know, for she was too burdened with thoughts to even dwell on such a question.
Endless. It was just endless.
And he had not lied when he even admitted that man was up to no good.
435. The recent belonging to none other than being impaled to death by her own lance, the weapon thrown at her like a stake to the heart. The silver haired woman laid unmoving at her feet, even if it was dealt to the one before her, the pain was not.
That was the number of times Kiana has died.
Kiana feels it as well as they all equally do- each and every single one. Phantom pain, of illusions real and unreal; she could no longer tell.
She watches as each and every body fall into the water, sinking deeper and deeper into the abyss as they paint the seas with their crimson blood, slowly dispersing into the colour of blue.
Bubbles flutter and try to escape, rising up like each and every soul leaving the mortal coil; to only be a futile attempt, fading away into nothing.
Yet, instead of doing anything, Kiana simply laid still in the sea that surrounded her, eyes trailing every falling shadow that sinks past her like broken debris.
What else could she do? Her body was numb with pain, and every split moment of recovery for her respite and relief only led to another new ounce of something tearing into her entire conscience.
With nothing else she could do, she only closes her eyes and lets the dark abyss of the ocean envelop her, waiting for the time to pass; to rise back up to the surface and wake up.
"We're splitting up into three teams. Himeko and Tesla's the ground team supporting Mei and Fu Hua, who's gonna be on the search. Einstein's with us, we'll cover Hyperion and Selene, and air support. Break in, get Kiana, and we'll get out of here. Any questions?"
The groups all stood around the large table with the floating hologram of Schicksal HQ. None spoke back. The plan was crystal clear.
Theresa, despite giving out the orders concisely, had still sent the Class Monitor a glance. "You're sure you are really fine, Fu Hua? Himeko told me what happened earlier."
A slight grimace was given in reply towards her direction, as all turned to look at the one in question. Regardless, the navy haired woman nods, reassuring them otherwise. "I'm sure, it would be something wrong for me, of all people, to not be fine."
Mei wished to open her mouth and add her concerns too, yet Himeko nudges the raven haired woman and pats her on the shoulder, a shit-eating grin on her face. "Oh, sugar. Let the Phoenix have her pride."
Any reactions that would follow would be cut off by a small, light cough.
Though, truth be told, the reason for her wanting to speak was not the one many might think, but as it was a conversation only the two shared, she doesn't speak up on it.
Mei trusts Fu Hua to protect Kiana as much as she does for herself, that was certain. It was proven right in front of her own eyes.
Now, one might ask why was she so overprotective of Kiana, but first thought that come to mind would be Mei just held the Kaslana in a different light than others. She did save her from taking her own life, after all.
But that wasn't the case, honestly. She's more than aware of the feelings Kiana has for Fu Hua. It was obvious- that Himeko and Theresa even was just somewhere in the corner, looking at the two be painfully oblivious to the things that were happening around them. It was like straight out of a manga, it was that sore of a thumb.
Problem is, she's now sensing those feelings directed at her now, and she somehow is about to get lumped in with the oblivious duo.
And so, the raven haired woman had asked Hua if this was really what she wanted- to choose Kiana instead of so many else.
But much to her surprise, Fu Hua answers in earnest. She tells her this is what she wanted, and why she wanted it to be so.
Though..
"I know Kiana loves you very much, Mei. I feel that I shouldn't step into your zone."
She'll give time for Fu Hua to decide, since she's absolutely alright with it on her end; and really- it's not the Class Monitor's charisma at work- but those feelings have to be put aside first.
They'll have to make sure they would all get out alive and safely, to begin with.
Deep somewhere in her thoughts among all of these, she prayed the Kaslana was alright.
Kiana was not alright.
She aimed the firearm at the opponent in front of her, the cold metal of ARC Serratus pressing tightly against her grip. Her hand trembles and shakes violently in an attempt to attack. Her body denies her commands, and her mind constantly refuses and tells her to not shoot the very thing that wore the same skin as her.
Kiana doesn't want to. She doesn't want to do it, because she knows she had already killed enough people. And the hidden dread that dwelled in her of seeing that very bloodied mountain of bodies once again snaked its way into her vision. But she knew if she did not- she would die to the one before her instead.
If she did not take the key to the exit, there were no more opportunities for her to escape from this nightmare.
A small hope in finally being able to be free- and dread to be treading into the next.
She hears her heart thumping loudly against her ears like loud drums that boomed all over the place. Her hand refuses to subside in its trembling. She could hear herself gasping for air as all her limbs just became numb. The pain in the back of her skull moved to press against her head.
Something snaps within her, like a thin thread torn into two with their edges finally long worn.
She can no longer hear anything; the clacking of the gun in her hand, the hectic and laboured breathing that fills her with exhaustion with each heave. Only static fills her ears, before white-hot agonizing pain followed after, and she feels herself crumbling into pieces.
Kiana screams, and with a feeling she could no longer bear, she pulls the trigger and-
Without a doubt. She had already seen these before.
She should've been somewhere else. She knew that. The thought occurs to her naturally, but the unusual slowness to it was off-putting.
..What was she supposed to be doing? Where was she supposed to be..?
She was supposed to.. to..
Kiana no longer knows whether it was night or day, nor month or year.
Her hand moves on its own. In that flaming world of snow and charred trees, she finds her hand stained with a colour that was akin to roses.
It may have only been a minute. It may have only been an hour.
Her hand still tersely grips on the handle as her bloodstained fingers curl around it. It was plunged into the chest of a man, whose silver ponytail seemed familiar.
He does not move, still frozen as he holds the flaming blade high above in the air with a single hand, the flames casting moving tendrils of shadows on their faces. The other arm, long-lost into ashes.
She doesn't know how long it had been ever since she was trapped down here in Hell-
Her vision shifts and distorts, and she finds herself kneeling on top of a raven haired woman wearing an armour of crimson and black on the ground. Her hands were closed around her throat.
Those eyes never once ever left her vision, even as she watches how the life in them was taken away in a flash. It sears into her brain like a brand.
-How long she has hid into whatever armor she could pick up that crumbled into the ground, how long she could even think properly using the last of whatever sanity she holds as her body repeatedly breaks and heals.
"Why?"
She doesn't know the answer, nor the reason.
Tears trickle down her cheeks and fall until she has no more of them left to cry. Her body shakes with her sobs; tears all long deprived from her body. She feels so small.
"Why did you kill us, Kiana?"
She doesn't know the answer, nor the reason.
Kiana watches with her two eyes as the people she knew disappear; disintegrate before her very being.
I didn't. I didn't do it. I didn't-
She knows that while she's trapped here, there's nothing she can do.
Why won't it stop? Why can't she make it stop?
But she knows only one thing. The one sole vow she had made to herself, to keep herself hanging onto that piece of thread.
She stabs at another person. Her name a ghost on her lips, a brief flash of a memory before it disappears like the life she took.
Kiana already long knew this is a lie. A dream. A fake. A false reality.
Another falls down at her feet- and she recognizes the fact too late that it had become a mountain of bodies that she stood on; as she glances down at her feet.
She won't know whether it would be in another fake illusion she would reside in upon opening her eyes to a different world, but there was one thing she knew.
When she wakes up, she will find Him. She will find Him regardless of wherever he hides. In this world, or another. An illusion, or reality.
She will find Him.
Even if she was drowning in a sea of blood, as she slowly watches how it pools at her bare feet, rising slowly up her ankles and to her knees, waist, neck and finally her
It was only a single Place. A single Planet. A single Universe. Kiana has all the time in her hands to search for Him.
She closes her eyes, whatever left of the dried tears that were on her cheeks as equally cold as her mind.
She doesn't stop driving her weapon into the illusion, the only thing left she could do to release her rage lest it drives her insane.
And she will tear the world apart; the sky and land to shreds. The Honkai eliminated, and those who stand in her way dead if she has to.
She lets something deep within rise up in her. Rage, anger, sorrow, hate- She doesn't know. But she lets it all take her, and she yells with whatever strength she had, with whatever sanity she had left.
"OTTO!"
No matter what it takes. No matter how long it takes. No matter how many corpses lay against her feet, and along her path. She will ensure it would be done.
She would destroy the pieces on the chessboard herself if no one will.
For a better world. She won't destroy it. She will destroy them.
-She wakes up. As if one had simply doused cold, frigid water on her.
It was absolutely, and literally stunning. It felt more real than being akin to one from simply waking up from an interrupted dream.
Not only just that, but it was as if she had just been torn away from one world to another, that the sudden shift of perception made her mind unable to comprehend in time.
The thoughts of what he had done. The multiple memories that constantly flashed past her eyes. Possibilities, even. It mixed together so violently that she could no longer differentiate one from another.
She raises a hand up to touch her temple.
She wishes to say she doesn't know anything, that she has forgotten everything pertaining to her life. Kiana wants to say she knew nothing, and never would- but Kiana remembered. The numbing sense of déjà vu was more than enough for her to realize this fact.
She remembers it all, and that was why it was even worse.
Just what truly is a Real memory to her? Was she in just another created possibility that just gave her whatever she wished for?
Or was this a World that she had created, and he simply just took her to reality?
But the message of it all stays, no matter whether it was real or not.
For one, when she thought the world was at peace, it would end in her killing them all.
And it was because he had set the world against her.
For another, when she forced to be under his heel, it was possibly the worst scenario she wanted to exist in. When he finds her doing something wrong, he would punish her for straying out of whatever she was told to do. Obey or die. Follow or see others harmed.
By harmed, it could go both ways; especially when he was more than willing to show her how each and every bone of the human body breaks and cracks differently in a wide variation of sounds.
For another, when she thought she could finally escape from all the chaos, she was just thrown into a brand-new set of chaos and conflicts under the guise of it being the freedom of the world she breathed in.
The memories; and for her to witness the very experiences, were still raw in her mind.
A continuous loop. A loop of trials, with the answers and purpose unknown to her.
But whatever it would be, Otto had dared to insult her. He dared to send her a silent message- by saying they, the people she loved the most and hold preciously to- are like those illusions churned out; even if they were from her own fears that nested in the deepest parts of her mind.
He dared. And her silver hair could not hide the rising anger that bore in her eyes. Feeling the empty ground before her once again, she pushes herself up to stand.
She bottles up the questions, the pain and confusion in her mind and places it aside, shutting them away.
"He would do this?"
"Oh, he would." She doesn't know when he summoned a cup into his grasp, but all he does was sit on the ornamental railings and swing his legs freely back and forth, while all the more occasionally tilting the glass to and fro.
"So how about it? Would you prefer making an alliance with me, or having to deal with that boy again?"
Boy. Kiana nearly forgets she's standing before a powerful individual. Right, the Previous Era was more than 50,000 years ago.
She closes her eyes, letting out a sigh. She clearly doesn't want to go back and experience that. Even if she doesn't show it here, in front of him; she can remember each and every detail of it, and that would be more than enough to haunt her for the rest of her life.
Kiana feels herself shaking in the inside, nearly- no, already driven to the breaking point, but she knows she can't let the weakness show here- and so she holds on, until this conversation was over could she simply just let the mask fall to the ground and shatter into nothing.
She stands beside him, sitting on the railings whereas she leaned against it. Eyes opened, the blues reflecting the living sea. The grip on the railing tightens, her flesh digging into the ornate steel.
"Fine. Consider it accepted."
He gives a slight nod, a tilt of the head before turning to raise the cup to his lips. Kiana feels her muscles losing its tension immediately upon that, and she hears the thumping of her heart subsiding. Her arms lean further into the railing, already losing its tight hold on them.
...
"..I won't say much," Kiana does not look and turn to face him as she suddenly breaks the silence, but the words were meant to be for only him alone. "But in the future, Otto plans to sell you off as a bargaining chip to Kevin Kaslana as an alliance."
The response was unexpected. An eyebrow was raised. The cup in his hands do not move after he lowered it down. "Me, to Kevin Kaslana? That very soldier interested in a Divine Key like me when he already long has his own?"
He scoffs. The silver haired woman does not make to look at him. "And you aren't afraid?"
The Void Archives smiled. It was simple, and easygoing, but it does not reach his eyes.
"Why would I be, when there is a larger threat out there than him? The Might of the old organization. An Apostle of God, that we were made to hate- but to that person instead, we were made to respect and obey. Why would I be afraid of a good soldier of MOTH, when there is a bigger threat?"
This was new, Kiana realizes. Fu Hua had not spoken of this before.
"..And who's this threat you speak of so proudly?"
He leans forward, and laughs. The cup in his hands swirling its golden liquid. "For that, I'm afraid to say it is more interesting for me should you find that answer out yourself."
The Void Archives finds his eyes looking at the open space behind him, where the translucent creatures swam around. "How morbid. For him to hold the blade of a dead person who became a Herrscher, who was the only parental figure your friend only had."
Her fists curled up and tightened, this time she turns to look at him from her peripherals. "Don't you even dare mention a single thing about her, with that face and voice."
"A monster in every way possible, is he not?" The Divine Key smiles once again. "And tragic.. Just like your path, as it always had been."
Kiana pushes herself from the railing, already turning away to walk off, seeing she had heard enough of what she had needed; and had taken in already enough of his tirades.
He does not stop in his rambles, however. "When you find out the truth of Project STIGMA, you'll soon realize the similarities you two bear. To be blinded in your ambition, you will do whatever it takes to achieve it. Even if it means killing and betraying your own family to get what you want-"
-The gate between them closes immediately.
He does not move to look at the exit, of a glowing book in one of the shelves, the golden key dangling on a chain. The liquid still sloshes in its crystalline golden cup. He turns to tilt the holder, and watches with his two eyes as the liquid falls to the ground and dissipate into dust.
The last few words, unheard by anyone else but him.
He sits there, all alone in the library, as the world continues to turn in its destruction as time goes by. "..Even if it meant everything to you. And without a doubt, that very Project may be also why you share the same face and ideals as Her."
-Kiana!
Blue eyes immediately opened to a bright world with nothing but the vast surface of clear, crystal waters beneath her feet.
Sirin stands in front of her, the water rippling endlessly beneath her feet, no longer garbed in her simple clothing with bandages that wore around her limbs, but the one that sparked truly the symbolisation of the Herrscher of the Void that brought terror upon all in the cold wastes of what was once the War in Russia.
Kiana does not recognise this place-
Where the Gem of Serenity resonated by her side, a message she was given on being deceived by mere illusions. The battle where the feathers around her burned within her grip. The true potential she grasped on her powers as a Herrscher.
Only to be defeated by a person whom she now regarded as an ally, who had taught her a portion of the very thing that defeated her and ripped her power apart; The Edge of Taixuan, Eminence.
A similar feather is brought up to her gaze, being held by the Herrscher who knelt before her- it's plume resembling a different colour. Purple, pink. Different from gold.
Different from Gold.
Sirin stands in front of her.
The thought makes her chest tighten, and she trembles violently. It strengthens much so when she found the purple haired woman tightly hugging her in an embrace, as if Kiana would've disappeared right there.
"I'm here.. I'm here."
Sirin was here. The Kaslana tightens her hold, even if it was severely weakened and on the brink of slipping. She doesn't want to let go.
Was she truly, finally free from all the things she had seen and experienced?
Kiana lets out an extremely shaky sigh, before her eyes started to let the tears fall.
One by one, they fell. And then she wept, her cries ugly and loud, with her eyes knitted shut, and of tears she failed to hold in; spilling out like streams of crystalline waterfalls.
The one that held her does not let go. She refuses to let go, and instead tightens her hold even more on her. Eyes of gold stared at the silver haired woman's sorrows with a look in her eye akin to sadness yet relief. She places a hand on her hair, in an attempt to soothe her.
The two stayed silent all the while, as one pours out all her feelings to the other, in a world where no one could see nor hear the two.
It was only a while after that the cries subsided down.
Sirin lowers her hand, kneeling in front of the woman. She was unsure of the silver haired woman's state, especially of the feat Kiana had to pull earlier, and go through while all keeping up to be strong all the same.
Kiana's mental state at this point was more than just simply concerning for Sirin.
"..Kiana?" She asks, her voice soft and low.
Blue eyes, more akin to red and puffy, slowly glanced up to look at her.
"I don't know.. what to do any more.."
The water ripples at her feet, and the clear waters and sky beckoned at the side of where she stood. Sirin looks up at the sky behind Kiana, and finds herself seeing the dark clouds that shadowed the world space, with each strike of light a rumbling clap; and each patter of water a continuous pelt against the calm surface.
It was different back then; a reversal of their roles, a flip of the two sides of the coin that they were. It was never meant to be like this.
Unexpected, unheard and unthought of; a Herrscher helping her own Host that she had tormented those years ago, instead of pushing her to the brink of destruction, she was doing all she could to pull Kiana away from it.
"..If I wake up.. will I be in a..?"
Sirin shakes her head. "No. You won't be. Mei, our Mei, somehow found us. She's right there, just slowly waiting for you to gain consciousness."
Blue eyes slightly widened at the mention of the raven haired woman's name. "Mei.. Fu Hua.."
She slowly gets up on her feet, no matter how shaky her legs were and on the brink of giving out. The purple haired woman moved to stop her, slowly shaking her head once more.
"No. I'll take over. Kiana, you've been through too much in one day." Her eyes softened, yet left no room for argument. "Please, Kiana. Rest."
Too much in a simple day. First Otto, then the Void Archives, and then she would soon have to deal with Schicksal again.
There had never been a single day Kiana could even sleep properly, Sirin was long aware of that. The both of them could not do without any rest, else they possibly might find themselves clasped in chains in the middle of night and taken away to somewhere deep unknown unawares.
And Kiana had insisted on doing all the work until now. It was that terrible of a situation for the past few days, more so even tormenting for Sirin to be watching all of it unfolding whilst being told countless times to not interfere.
The silver haired woman opens her mouth to protest, yet she already knew herself that rest was something that she really needed. Sirin prays that, somewhere, she would listen.
God, for the first time ever since her fall, seemed to have heeded her prayers. Kiana listens. The silver haired woman closes her mouth, and with a nod, she sits down in the space. It slowly transforms back into a field of flowers.
Sirin turns around, prepared to leave in her stead, before suddenly stopping when she hears a whisper from behind her.
"..Be careful.."
The Herrscher of the Void smiles reassuringly. "I will."
She leaves, but as she turns, she leaves with a new, profound look in her golden eyes. Burning with anger for the one who was behind all this, and an immense hate that she had not felt in years, ever since she woke up all those years ago.
It was Kiana who had extended a hand to her, to stay by her side instead of disappearing and ceasing to exist, as the supposed fate of her nature as the 'other side of the coin'. It was against all her protests to leave, because she knew that even she wanted another chance to live in life.
And even if it was inevitable, for the two of them to meet their demise because of her actions, Kiana never blamed her for it. The Kaslana took her faults into her own hands for her.
For that, it was why Sirin did all she could to fulfil Kiana's deepest wish of trying one last time, to patch up the wounds and regrets she could never close in her heart and find the ending she truly wanted.
Even if Kiana now could no longer remember such a thing, Sirin will for as long as she exists.
And for all she has done for her, Sirin will make sure Kiana has the same. Even if it means ceasing to exist and leaving Kiana's side in the future. Even if it means doing all she can in her power to protect her from the world when it turns against her.
She won't let anyone harm her.
Sirin won't.
...
...
...
K-423 Kaslana opens her eyes in the midst of a secluded, abandoned area in Schicksal HQ, long covered in broken rubble where the sun rays peeked through the corners of every opening of the construction framework.
Where the dust can be seen floating around in the air, of each particle fluttering by; a figure stands by in the corner, where the ends of her raven hair poking through the light of the rays from the shadows.
The silver haired woman slowly sits up, and when golden eyes meet indigo, Mei's hands flew to reach for the hilt of her katana, the reflection of the cold metal shifts to shimmer and glint in the dark, moving to meet those eyes.
Honestly, looking back, I wrote Another Chance just because it was a way for me to just throw out my life into words.
Maybe that's why the story can get really depressing sometimes lol. God, I such was a terrible mess back then.
It was the lowest point of my life, honestly. I was drinking a lot, and I considered smoking at one point.
Maybe I still am shit, but at least I found an improvement in my life after publishing this story.
To each and every reader, I appreciate your support. Since Sep 25th 2019, where this story first came to light in ffnet, the reception was better than I expected. It's almost 200 favourites there, but it's 38k views.
And then ao3 came in, and it just blew me away on how much people wanted me to continue this story. Nearly 500 kudos is something I still can't comprehend. That's halfway to 1000. 15k hits too.
Seriously, thanks for reading.
Flowie.
