Chapter 30 - I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream
Several years before...
"Who do you like Kakashi? C'mon you can tell me," Ren wheedled teasingly.
"Obi Uchiha," Kakashi said lightly. It really shouldn't have come as a surprise. She was the most talented shinobi in the last... Ever. "You're friends with her right?"
"Oh," Ren said. Kakashi pretended not to notice the panic on his face. "I uh.. I'm... Yeah."
Ren wouldn't be much of a rival. He was a nice guy, but he wasn't even a shinobi, just an assistant for a little ramen stand in the Uchiha District. Kakashi smiled to soften the blow. People seemed to like it when he smiled.
He'd never cover up his face with a mask like his father.
XOXOXOXOX
During the bell test. About a year before…
Unlike most shinobi, Kakashi liked children, he was kind to them. That was why he'd failed every academy student he'd ever tested. And this year he was testing Sensei's kid and the last Uchiha. He couldn't get any clever ideas, he had to fail them. But…
He was surprised by how much they… They totally… Sucked. They lacked any talent whatsoever.
Naruko couldn't perform all the academy jutsu, she could barely even hold a kunai, and if Kakashi didn't know any better he'd swear that she didn't even know what chakra was. Sasuke was twelve and he still couldn't activate his sharingan. He didn't know any genjutsu, he only knew a single basic flame release, and his taijutsu was barely above academy standard. And Sakura was useless.
Perhaps more importantly was Kakashi's impression of them as people… They were… Just incredibly unlikable. Naruko didn't seem to realize how unattractive her desperate kindness was, Sasuke was… just really unpleasant, and Sakura was an oblivious, spoiled, moron. And yet, they'd looked beyond each other's flaws and managed to work together.
Maybe Kakashi could trick them into thinking teamwork was the secret to strength, and fool them into making connections that would bring them some actual happiness, that would return meaning to their empty lives.
Naruko was skinny. Sasuke was antisocial. Sakura was spoiled. That wouldn't change if he failed them.
Maybe…
But…
Naruko was Sensei's kid. Sasuke was the last Uchiha. They were already targets. He couldn't do this to them. But if he abandoned them they'd be miserable...
If he was going to do this then he'd have to... But not so much that they'd be killed during normal shinobi duties. Kakashi sighed. It really would be so much easier to just fail them, but he already found himself caring about his precious little students, rooting for them to all find happiness. For them he'd walk a tightrope. It would take a lot of work, and he would inevitably earn their hatred, but…
Madara. Mokuton. A mission gone wrong. That look on her face when she realized the truth. He never wanted to see it again. These kids, he would protect them from what he'd gone through, from what she'd gone through.
Kakashi held out the two bells with a jingle. "Congratulations. You pass." Kakashi smiled underneath his mask.
It would hurt to sabotage these children. But he wouldn't scream.
XOXOXOX
A few months before…
The chunin exams had been a disaster, and this fight was the culmination of his failure. Kakashi had known Naruko was strong, but he hadn't seen a way she could defeat Neji. But here she was, having somehow completed Sensei's jutsu, dominating Konoha's most touted genin in front of everyone. What had Jiraiya done, how could he have taught her the rasengan?
But of course it was Kakashi who had taught her the shadow clone jutsu. He'd tried to be as vague and unhelpful as possible, but he hadn't really thought the jutsu would be such a weapon in her hands. Afterall, she'd just been a kunoichi, and with a single notable exception, kunoichi didn't dominate the battlefield. He'd been careless.
It was stupid to blame Jiraiya anyways, he didn't know about her. He didn't understand that the stronger that Naruko got, the more danger she'd be in. He didn't know that by teaching Naruko rasengan he'd guaranteed her death. In the absolute best case scenario.
But then Kakashi heard a beautiful, hopeful sound. One person booed. Then another. And another.
"What is this about?" Kakashi asked the man sitting in the row above him, masking his relief with detached curiosity.
"Rumor has it that the girl was caught buying a gambling ticket before the match," the man explained. "Personally, I don't buy it. I may not be a shinobi, but I know what I see. She's a prodigy."
"No." Kakashi whispered, quietly so Guy, Sakura, and Sasuke wouldn't hear. "She isn't. I'm her sensei. She's the worst student I've ever had, but a cunning one. She must've convinced Neji to take a dive. Spread the word. Make sure everybody knows that Naruko Uzumaki is no genius, just a cheater."
The booing, scattershot before, intensified to a fever pitch, so loud that it felt like the stadium was shaking. Naruko stood petrified in the middle of the arena, hearing the hatred of Konoha raining down on her, not understanding their scorn. Kakashi had never seen his beloved student so miserable.
He smiled grimly. It might be possible to salvage the situation after all. He steeled himself for what he would have to do, for what he would have to say.
It would hurt to say such cruel things to her. But he wouldn't scream.
XOXOXOX
10 hours before...
She was here, She was here, She was here!
Kakashi's eye burned and burned, forcing him to watch- No, he had to stay focused! He'd been so sure the invasion had been a bluff! That was why he hadn't helped Naruko and Sasuke. He'd been waiting. Waiting. But unlike last time Konoha had been invaded, the Biju hadn't been a distraction, this time… This time…
But how was he supposed to know? The last two times, when The Fox attacked and on the night of the Uchiha Massacre- No! He had to find Sasuke, Naruko? She couldn't be after Sakura? He scratched at his mask, almost took it off- As if doing that would help! He hadn't worn a mask when The Fox had attacked, and he hadn't been able to say a damn thing then either!
That had always been the problem. He could never say what he knew! This time had to be different! He had to find his mouth, before it was too late. He wouldn't let it happen, not again.
She must have been after Sasuke. Perhaps Naruko, but most likely Sasuke. After the massacre, he'd thought it had been Itachi, but now it all made sense. She had been grooming Sasuke for years, all to kill her. He'd tried to prevent that, he'd tried to make them less enticing, but…
There he was! Kakashi captured Sasuke with a wire, and tied him to a tree. They'd have a little chat. Kakashi would explain everything, and Sasuke would finally know the truth about his clan.
"She is near," Kakashi said in a panic. No, no, no, he had to stay calm. But how the hell was he supposed to stay calm with her around? If only they knew! If only he could explain! He had to explain. But his sharingan was flaring through his mask, on the verge of transforming. He used every ounce of will to keep it down. He had to speak this time, and quickly. Kakashi said, "..."
Okay, that was to be expected. Kakashi tried again. "...?"
No, that wasn't fair! Kakashi said, "...!" Kakashi shouted, scratching at his mouth, willing it to speak "...!"
Fine! He couldn't explain, but he could at least give advice. "Don't listen to what she says! Sasuke, you mustn't be fooled by her-" He retched, too close to the truth. "It wasn't Ita-"
Damn! Damn! Damn! Kakashi clutched his mask, and shook his head. Tears ran down his eyes. He couldn't speak about anything that mattered! He'd always known he had no choice, that was the whole point, that was the fragment of The Curse she had shared with him, along with her eye. To allow him to understand what it was like to be forced down a path you hated.
If only he could speak! If he could have told Sensei the truth about that terrible mission, about a kidnapped civilian, about Madara, and about her, then everything would have been different!
"You will never avenge your clan!" Kakashi screamed, as close to the truth as he could get. He could give no reasons, but please, please, let the naive boy understand. Please let his feelings get through to him! "You don't understand a thing about your clan! Give up on vengeance! Give up, give up, give up! Don't even tr-"
And now Sasuke was furious. "I will avenge my clan! That is my purpose!"
"No! Don't be a fool! That's exactly what she-" Kakashi clutched his throat, but no more words came out. Again! It was happening again!
He could no longer hold it down. Kakashi's mangekyou sharingan activated, turning inward. But with the last shreds of free will in his body, he uttered one last question which he hoped would prevent another tragedy.
"How does an Uchiha say, 'I love you.'?"
Sasuke's brow furrowed. And he turned his back to Kakashi and began to walk away.
Kakashi had failed. Again. His hatred turned inward, and he found himself trapped inside his own Tsukoyomi.
"Hello old friend," She said with a hollow, tired smile, only an echo of who she had once been. "It's wood to see you again!"
And then she stabbed Sensei through the stomach with a spear. She did nothing to Kakashi. She had never done anything to him. Just made him watch. As a helpless observer.
Kakashi screamed. She laughed and laughed.
When Kakashi finally woke up he was alone. Sasuke was long gone. He slammed his fist into the ground.
He'd thought she was after Itachi, the poor boy. She'd manipulated him into killing his parents, what else was he supposed to think? But now it all seemed so obvious, Itachi hadn't wanted to kill his parents so he could never truly understand the folly of hatred. But Sasuke… Sasuke hated Itachi- he'd made it his purpose to kill his innocent brother… Sasuke was perfect. Her target had always, always been Sasuke.
Kakashi tried to speak. But even alone he couldn't speak of her. So in the silence of his own mind he made a desperate plea. Please. Don't make him do what was done to you. Let The Curse die with you and me.
After all this time, after all he'd done to hide them, she'd still discovered their talent. Kakashi had failed. But he didn't scream.
XOXOXOX
9 hours before...
Whatever it took to save his students he would do. Even if it was only one. Even if he had to sacrifice another to do it.
"Sasuke has left the village," Kakashi said, bowing before the pathetic man sitting in Sensei's chair. "Naruko is sure to try and stop him."
"So?" Danzou asked, scratching his chin, slouching in Sensei's chair. "I saw them fight in the chunin exams. She is sure to succeed. We retain our Uchiha, I do not understand the problem."
"Orochimaru brought help," Kakashi invented quickly. As far as he knew it could actually be true. Irrelevant obviously, but perhaps true. "He might be after her as well. And think about it, this is an opportunity. Sasuke has betrayed the village. This is your chance to…"
Danzou glared at Kakashi. "To suggest such a thing about your own student. You are scum."
Kakashi's sharingan burned. He didn't have time for this! Could he say it?
"I met-" Kakashi ground to a stop. He shouldn't have expected anything else.
The old man stared at Kakashi expectantly.
He really was old wasn't he? Could he be old enough, would he be able to recognize…
Kakashi slipped off his forehead protector, glanced at the flag of Konoha hanging above Danzou, and let his sharingan transform. Black flames burnt the flag into nothingness.
Danzou stood, eyes wide. "I see… Apologies… I was the fool, it seems in my old age I had forgotten… Yes, yes, I understand the true threat now. I will do what I can, Kakashi. Thank you."
As the old man started making arrangements Kakashi wilted.
It hurt to betray his student. But he didn't scream.
XOXOXOX
8 hours before…
"I'm going," Naruko said, her accusation clear, if unspoken. "You should too. Kakashi."
Despite everything he'd done to sabotage her, despite never showing her any sign of affection, Naruko had always seemed to look up to him.
Until now.
He forced himself to meet her gaze. "I don't expect you to understand, Naruko, but this is for the best. It's too late for Sasuke. Going after him will only make things worse."
When a trap was obvious; don't fall for it. Easy words to say. He'd known that even as a child. But he hadn't known.
"He's my teammate, he's my friend," Naruko shouted. "Isn't that what you said being a shinobi was all about!"
Despite everything he'd been through, her disappointment, her disgust, it still hurt. He knew, in his heart, that this was his last chance.
She looked sort of like Sensei, but she resembled Kushina so much more. The way she was looking at him reminded him of their stares, of their glares, when he'd returned to the village alone. When he'd told them that he'd misplaced Konoha's future, he'd misplaced Konoha's heart. When he'd failed to find his mouth, when he'd found himself unable to say a thing, unable to explain.
Of course, they'd actually been understanding, but they shouldn't have been. Because after all, Kakashi's silence had cost them their lives.
"..." Kakashi explained.
Of course.
Of course.
FUCK! Why? Why, why why! Hadn't he suffered enough? Hadn't he-
He could only do what he could do. He'd asked for this. He'd chosen this destiny, he'd chosen knowledge, understanding, and connection rather than ignorant self-righteousness.
"I command you to stay," Kakashi said. He'd tried to communicate with Sasuke, it had been ineffective and he'd allowed his beloved student to follow a path worse than death. This time he'd use brute force. "I'm your superior officer. You agreed to follow my orders when you took your headband. You don't get a choice."
It didn't work. Naruko pushed him aside, and started walking to her death.
She and Danzou had an exchange, it was almost laughable how little either of them understood, the severity of which they underestimated the threat: Her nature, her goals. They were acting as if they were players, as if their actions meant anything. It was all so pointless.
"What the fuck is wrong with you Kakashi?" Naruko asked. "How could you bring him into this? Don't you believe in Sasuke? Isn't that why you spent all your time training him? He was supposed to be your favorite! Isn't that why you were assigned to us, so you could train him? Don't you understand what kind of a person he is?"
Kakashi loved his students. Kakashi wanted to protect them. But he was so, so weak. This was all he could do. So he would do it, no matter how much it hurt.
He cut their connection forever.
"It's far too late Naruko. This was Sasuke's destiny… Inescapable… No matter how hard he fought… No matter what he did… No matter how low he sunk… Some curses can't be broken… I understand Sasuke. You don't. Sasuke made his choice," Kakashi said. "It's done. I won't lose you too."
She didn't react well. That didn't concern him. No, what mattered was that Danzou was reneging on his promises. But with a wave of Danzou's arm, Kakashi was put into a hypnotic sleep.
He awoke in total darkness. And there she was. Had she, she…
"Why?" Kakashi croaked. "Why did you save me?"
She smiled, her scars crinkling, and bonked him on the forehead. "Isn't it obvious?"
"I thought you were supposed to be Nobody!"
She put on her mask. "Not to you."
And she disappeared in an Orange Flash.
Kakashi stumbled after her. But that was impossible! She was supposed to be empty! She wasn't supposed to be able to feel anymore!
It hurt to know how much his best friend was suffering. But he didn't scream.
XOXOXOX
1 hour before...
Naruko was flooded with orange chakra.
Run fool!
Naruko was filled with a strength she didn't know she had, and ran and ran. The Fox had just given her all of his chakra.
What are you so worried about? Naruko asked.
This can't be possible! I died a long time ago!
Umm… Naruko kept on running.
Somehow I've returned. The Fox explained poorly. And I'm trying to put myself together again. We have to tell the others, we have to stop this, we must prevent us from being born again!
Well that sounded… Um… That actually made sense when she thought about it. Jiraiya had warned her about the akatsuki. So we have to find the other jinchuriki?
What are you talking about? The Fox snapped. Yes this concerns us biju, but don't you fear being born again as well?
Nevermind, Naruko was still confused. But no matter how much The Fox tried to explain, she just didn't get it.
XOXOXOX
1 hour before...
Kakashi surveyed the battlefield, and just like he'd feared the former meadow was covered in a new forest.
He found her prying out some of the sharingans from Danzou's unconscious body.
"Kakashi," she said. "You finally made it. Slice to see you!" She held up her kunai and smiled. Kakashi winced, her body was littered with fresh cuts and wounds. That could only mean…
Root… Danzou's men. They'd been crushed like insects. Their corpses, their dull eyes, staring up at the sky, their necks slashed. She had given them quick, painless deaths, she had murdered them as humanely as possible. It was still murder. Not by her.
By him. Kakashi had known this would happen, but he'd sent these men to their deaths. He'd done it to protect his students, to try to get Sasuke back, to hope for a miracle. He should have known it was futile.
He was a fool.
"Are you going to kill him?" Kakashi asked dully, nodding at Danzou.
"Hmm," she scratched her head with a kunai absentmindedly, drawing blood. "It would be fun to see what Itachi would do without his master. Like a chicken with their head cut off, you know? But no, I won't kill him, not yet. Danzou will make my plans much, much easier."
To others that might have seemed enigmatic. But to Kakashi her plans were obvious. She wanted a successor, somebody that could understand her, somebody who could give her the glory she deserved for her contributions. It was only human after all. Nobody could bear the burden forever.
It was pointless to fight her. He'd sent Konoha's strongest against her, he'd sent them to their deaths. To struggle was to cause misery…
But...
"I won't let you pass on The Curse!" Kakashi cried, using amaterasu. He would be miserable for his student. "I won't let you have Sasuke!"
She teleported away the flames using Sensei's jutsu and sighed.
"Yes. That. Sasuke asked me an interesting question, you know? 'How does an Uchiha say, 'I love you.'?'"
Kakashi charged a chidori and leapt at her. Roots caught him, and bound him to the ground. It was pointless to struggle, mokuton could bind even a Biju.
"You think I'm going to let him kill me?" She whispered into his ear. "I'm not a pedophile. I just wanted to learn Sage Mode. It sounded fun. I've got no ulterior motives, you know? Believe it."
Blue chakra surrounded her arm, and the closed sharingan she was holding transformed into a rinnegan, then reverted back to mangekyou. It transformed from a simple swirl, to a pattern with three circles within a circle, to a shuriken shape, to a combination of all three.
She forced open Danzou's eyes, and mouthed the word, "Kotoamatsukami."
Roots disemboweled the corpses scattered on the forest floor, the trees from her mokuton growing, intestines falling on the ground like dead leaves. Then, with a deep rumble, the forest sunk back into the earth, replaced by meadows and a pitiful set of vines, a pale imitation of the true jutsu. Despite himself, he couldn't help but gape with awe just as he had the first time she'd shown him mokuton when they were kids. She crushed the eye.
"Only one person is allowed to kill me," She said, and Kakashi finally realized he'd been freed from his constraints.
She let him jam the kunai in her gut.
"You really tried hard to protect them, didn't you Kakashi? Your students should be thankful." She smiled warmly. "If not for your efforts, I would have come much sooner. The time they spent together, that year of happiness and love, that was something you gave them."
And she burst into smoke. It had been a shadow clone. She had taken out Konoha's most powerful military force with a shadow clone. Kakashi had always known that trying to fight her was pointless. She had been the strongest shinobi in the world by the time she was thirteen, and she'd gotten exponentially stronger since. But she had always been willing to let a battle of ideals play out.
The hint he'd given to Sasuke would have to be enough. Kakashi tried to pull down his mask, but failed. He still had no mouth. And it had cost him another.
He'd lost Sasuke, he'd failed him. It hurt. But he didn't scream.
Because he didn't deserve to.
XOXOXOX
What had happened?
Danzou stared at his right arm. His sharingans, where had they gone? And then he realized something else…
His men were… His comrades were… His friends were…
Dead.
Slaughtered brutally like animals.
The memories came flooding back to him. His men had been killed by Orochimaru. Sasuke had been working for the Sound all along. He'd discovered the Uchiha Massacre had been ordered by Konoha, and had vowed revenge.
He'd also said he would stay silent on the matter to protect his clan's glory.
Danzou wiped away his tears. Konoha had lost the sharingan, it had been stolen by Oto. He could not idle, he had to start preparing. He could not let Konoha be destroyed. Because along with Orochimaru's forces there had been shinobi from Kumo and Iwa. As Danzou had always known they would, Konoha's old enemies had waited and struck when they were weakest.
Danzou had been too weak to stop them. Without his right arm, without his sharingans, Danzou was nothing. When he returned to the village he would beg Tsunade to take the position of Hokage. Konoha needed to be led by a Senju, it needed to be as strong as it had once been.
He'd sacrificed everything for the power to create peace. His body, his morals, his friends, his wife, children, the Uchiha Clan…
He hung his head, and limped back to Konoha to report the news.
And although it did not become official until much later, historians would agree that this was when it became inevitable, that this was when...
...The Fourth Great Shinobi War Begins...
Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Hope you didn't hate the twist too much! I'm kinda curious how many of you saw it coming, and suspected that Kakashi was under a gag order, and knew about Itachi's role in the massacre. And now onto the reviews,
Amaterasu53 - I'm glad you liked the bit with Lee! I hope you liked the chapter! I'm still not sure if it would have been better to have it right after the Sasuke Retrieval arc or to leave it here. Thanks for the review!
