Author Notes: I took out my Videl theory, as one reviewer pointed out that it seemed out of place here. Instead, I've added it as a separate one-shot called 'Influence'. I would appreciate reviews on the flow of my writing and whether the characters are realistic.
Gohan loved his father. No matter what Goku had done in the past, Gohan did not doubt the man's intentions or his love for his family. Sometimes it hurt to think about how Goku didn't seem to realise the impact of his decisions on those he left behind. But he had long since made peace with it, and concluded that it was just the way his father was.
The first time Goku left it was because he had died, and he hadn't meant to leave. But it was okay, because Piccolo had looked after Gohan, however reluctantly at first. The second time was more deliberate. After Namek had exploded, Goku chose to stay in space and train. That was a difficult pill to swallow. But Gohan was a cheerful kid and no one else had been surprised about it, so he had just accepted it as being typical of his goofy father. The third time, though. That was hard. Gohan often wondered how his life might have been different if Goku hadn't stayed in Otherworld after Cell was defeated. He remembered feeling so overwhelmed with having to take care of a baby Goten; and there was definite bitterness and resentment that slipped through, even though it was very rare for Gohan to feel that way. Especially when Goku had returned from the dead. As soon as his father was back with them everything just felt right again. The occasional bout of sadness over the years was a distant memory. Goku just had that effect on people. And for the most part Gohan forgot about how Goku was occasionally running off and leaving surrogate fathers behind to take care of his sons.
But this was different. This was his baby girl.
Gohan watched Goku and Pan playing in a clearing near the lake. He, Videl and Pan had come to visit the family at Mount Paozu and they were all happy to get away from the city for a bit. Goten had wandered off to visit his animal friends. He never liked to play with Goku and Pan because he could not be as rough as he usually was with Trunks. ChiChi was making a huge lunch. Videl had offered to help, but was secretly glad when ChiChi turned her down. Now she was sitting in between his legs, leaning against his chest as he leaned back against a tree. The two of them watched their daughter pick herself up and chase after Goku, who was laughing and trying not to let Pan catch him. He was such a big child, Gohan thought to himself with a smile. And so competitive. He wouldn't let Pan win at all, and she was barely a year old.
Gohan's smile faded as he realised how much Pan adored Goku. He had charmed his way into her heart, just as he had with everyone he met. Pan was even more excited to see her grandpa than she was to see Gohan sometimes. Gohan didn't mind that part. But there was a dread that settled on his heart. The dread that Goku would abandon her as he often had the rest of his family. He knew that it would happen eventually. He hoped that Pan wouldn't ever have the thought that had so often plagued him as a child: 'Why wasn't I enough?'
Gohan wanted to protect his precious baby girl from that. But he shook the thought off. It would be different for Pan. He and Videl would still be here. And even after the Tournament of Power Gohan was training regularly again, so that he could protect his family and never have to leave them the way Goku had left him. It would be alright. Even if Goku decided to disappear again.
Gohan was not aware that he had stiffened or sighed or done anything that would alert anyone to his thoughts, but suddenly Videl tilted her head back and looked up at him with a concerned frown.
"What's wrong, Gohan?" she asked quietly, as if she could sense that he would not want Goku to overhear.
He looked down into her clear blue eyes in surprise. How was it that she could always see right through him? He had never been able to hide from her. Not even when he had been wearing a mask.
Gohan smiled at her and squeezed her tighter to him, trying to put his thoughts out of his mind. He couldn't be thinking of such sad things when it was such as a beautiful day, he had his beautiful wife in his arms, and his beautiful daughter's laughter was echoing around the clearing.
"It's nothing, Videl. I'm just mentally preparing for the conference next week."
She raised an eyebrow at him and he chuckled. She obviously didn't believe him. He marvelled at the suspicion in her eyes, and was suddenly taken back to how she used to glare at him when they had first met. He fought a small blush remembering how he had been half-terrified and half-hopeful that she would figure him out back then. It was ridiculous that she could still make him blush even though they were married now.
Videl turned her back on Goku and Pan and twisted around to glare at him with hardened eyes. She knew he was keeping something from her. Gohan gulped. Sometimes he didn't know which side of his wife he preferred, when she was happy or when she was angry. But there was something about her when she glared at him that made him weak in the knees. He couldn't keep things from her when she stared into his soul like that. He was just about to give in and confess all his fears to her when he was fortunately interrupted by the loud growling of his father's stomach.
"Whew! Man, I'm starving!" Goku let Pan catch up to him so he could pick her up and head over to them. "I hope ChiChi's done with lunch. I could eat a whole dinosaur."
Gohan chuckled at his father's predictable appetite, and at how Pan giggled in his arms as he tickled her. He noticed his own stomach growling, albeit a little less loudly than Goku's, and Videl rolled her eyes at them fondly.
"Let's go see if Mom's ready for us." Gohan stood, helping Videl up as he went.
"Let's race, Panny!" Goku called, putting Pan down and running back to the house at a pace that Pan could catch up to.
Pan giggled and chased after him, calling "Grampa! Grampa!"
Gohan smiled. It was one of the first words she had spoken and was still one of the only words she could say. He was not totally surprised to feel Goten's ki speeding up behind them as he flew past.
"Wait for me!" His little brother laughed happily following after the two of them.
Gohan took Videl's hand, happy to have a minute alone with her. He was fully prepared to have a leisurely stroll back to the house, but Videl was raising her eyebrow at him sceptically.
"What?" he asked, blushing at her attentive stare.
"I want to ask you what's on your mind," Videl replied with an amused shake of her head, "But I'm afraid that if we dawdle there'll be no food left for us by the time we get there."
"Shoot! You're right."
Gohan was so startled by her words that he barely waited for her to gather her ki before he took off into the air holding her hand. They had to get back soon or there really would be nothing left!
Luckily, they made it just in time for the last dish to be placed on the table outside. Gohan made sure Videl and his Mom each had a plate before digging in. Pan's appetite wasn't as developed as his yet, but she could still devour a whole chicken by herself.
Goku and Goten had started to make lunch into a competition. Gohan chuckled. Goten used to be much better-mannered when it was just the three of them. Not that Gohan wouldn't happily trade Goten's table manners to have Goku back.
By the time lunch was done Gohan was in a much better mood. ChiChi was always happy whenever they visited, and Pan was having a blast. But then, Goku patted his stomach in gratitude and Gohan knew what was coming next.
"Man, I'm stuffed!" Goku sighed happily, "That was great Chi-Chi! Well, I'm off to King Kai's place!"
Gohan sighed in relief. Goku was just going to King Kai's planet. That was nothing. He usually just stayed there a few hours or a couple of days at most. When he was off to train with Whis, he was often gone for weeks at a time. But while this made sense to him logically, his precious baby girl only understood that grandpa was leaving.
Pan's cries stabbed at Gohan's heart. At first, when Goku stood up she had tried to follow him. But when Goku put her back on her seat and patted her head in a cheerful goodbye, her eyes started to well up. Pan started wailing and flew back into Goku's arms clutching at his neck.
Goku looked surprised at Pan's tenacity as he hugged the crying girl.
"I'm only going for a little while, Panny. Don't cry. I'll be back soon."
Gohan felt his face harden, but he calmed himself and put on a smile for his little girl. He tugged her out of his father's arms, even though she continued to reach out for him.
"It's okay, Pan." Gohan told her and she looked up at him as if she understood every word. "Sometimes Grandpa goes away. But don't worry. He'll always come back, okay?"
Goku smiled at him gratefully and Gohan worked hard to keep the smile on his face. He turned back to the table. Pan's head was now settled into the crook of his neck, and she was sniffing unhappily. Gohan met Videl's eyes, and he knew that there was one person he was not fooling with his happy façade.
Goku cheerily waved at them and put two fingers to his forehead. Goten and Chichi waved back. But Videl stood up slowly with a dangerous look in her eyes.
"Hold it, Goku."
Goku froze and tilted his head to the side as he gazed at her quizzically.
"What's up, Videl?"
In answer, she marched up to him and dragged him off by his arm towards the woods. ChiChi and Goten looked to him for an explanation but Gohan could only shrug in bemusement. When he looked down he saw that Pan had fallen asleep on his shoulder. The tracks of her tears were still visible on her cheek. Gohan smiled sadly at his little girl and rocked her gently.
"Boy, big sister sure looks mad," Goten's voice drew his attention back to the scene.
"And your father has that look on his face again," ChiChi sighed in amusement.
Gohan looked where they were looking and saw Videl tensed up, with her fists clenched at her sides. She was glaring at Goku and obviously scolding him. Goku, for his part, was waving his hands in front of his face defensively, with a nervous grin on his face. Gohan couldn't help but smile. It was like looking in the mirror.
Then Goku waved one nonchalant hand back and forth with a smile, and even though Gohan was too far to hear what was being said, he already knew the expression that came with that movement: "Don't worry about, Videl. It'll be fine!"
Videl was obviously not happy to hear this and Gohan couldn't help but laugh now that he was not on the receiving end of that anger. But before she could pump herself up to scold him some more, Goku gave her a two-fingered salute and disappeared.
Videl was muttering to herself angrily for a while before she came to join them at the table again with a slump that indicated she was half-frustrated and half-amused.
"He's hopeless!" Videl exclaimed, shaking her head. "Why do I even bother?"
"That's my Goku!" ChiChi explained dreamily without even needing to understand what the argument had been about.
Gohan laughed along with Goten, deciding to ask Videl about it when they got home. Instead, they enjoyed the rest of their afternoon in the countryside. Pan was still sleeping so Gohan took her for a stroll down to the lake while the others helped with the dishes. He had a smile on his face.
Goku would never change. This was something Gohan would just have to accept. Pan would be okay. Eventually she would learn to love her grandpa even if he wasn't around all the time. As long as she knew she could depend on Gohan, it didn't matter if Goku was so unreliable.
As they flew home that evening Gohan asked Videl what the argument had been about, and she punched a fist into her palm, getting frustrated from over again.
"I just get so irritated when he makes Pan cry!" she growled, "I know you hate it when he leaves too. Not that you would ever say anything to that flaky father of yours."
Gohan sighed.
"Yeah." He admitted, "I worry sometimes that she'll get too used to having him around. But it's okay, because she has us. And I wasn't lying. Sometimes it takes him years and sometimes he goes through Otherworld and back to do it, but he really does always come back."
Videl merely grunted in reply, still seeming unconvinced. Gohan smiled at her with resigned fondness.
"What did you tell him?"
"I basically told him to do as much training as he wants right now," Videl narrowed her eyes, "Because once Pan is old enough to start asking where he is, he had better be somewhere she can find him."
Gohan chuckled at her vehemence and his heart expanded at how fierce she could be sometimes when it came to protecting her family. He loved that Videl's anger at his father allowed him to let go of his own. It was easier to forgive Goku for his absence when he knew that at least someone would be scolding him for it. He honestly thought that Videl was wasting her energy, but he would not discourage her from trying to force Goku to stay. After all, one of them had to try, and he had already given up.
Gohan had already prepared himself for the day that Goku would leave again. That was just the way Goku was. And when the day finally came when Goku left, Gohan was calm as he consoled his mother and his daughter, and soothed an irritated Videl. He was able to watch his father and Uub fly away with an exasperated smile on his face, thinking: "Oh well. There he goes. Come back soon, Dad."
