The long, cold, lonely night gave way to a colder, lonelier morning, and he was feeling the gnaw of regret biting at him like the icy wind bit at his skin mercilessly.
Wrapping his cloak tightly around himself, trying to shield off some of the cold air barrelling down the alley, he touched his pocket as he did so, ensuring the galleons he withdrew were still there.
He wondered if he should stay here or move to somewhere less obvious. A muggle motel, perhaps. If it were true, and he was to be under Hermione's watch, he hazarded a guess that it wouldn't be long before there was a warrant out for him and here he would be a sitting duck.
He missed Hermione terribly, and she was all he had known over the past few months, but he couldn't be around her and the sea of lies she had left in her wake.
Fighting a battle with head and heart he stood beside Ollivander's old store, boards over the windows and door, the sign above hanging askew, ready to fall in the next gust of wind. His heart so desperately wanted to go back to Hermione, to safety. He wanted to go back to the warmth and the comfort of her arms and her home. This wasn't the first time he had ever been on the run, so a stranger to it he was not.
Logic told him to swallow his pride and go groveling back to the woman that ultimately saved his life, albeit not that he wanted her to do that, but the sentiment alone should have him indebted to her for the rest of his life, ironically.
He noted how incredibly quiet Diagon Alley was and how many shops they were boarded up, far beyond Ollivander's and he wondered just how many people lost their lives, or how many purely closed shop because there wasn't enough income.
Sighing deeply, looking around once more, wondering where he should go, it was obvious he couldn't go anywhere obvious because they would find him. He didn't particularly want to integrate into muggle society, but at the moment, it might be his only option.
"Severus?" A husky voice passed his ear quickly on the icy breeze that whipped past him, tensing up for a moment as he turned to follow the sound.
"Kingsley," he acknowledged with a tightened jaw and a breath held in his lungs, refusing to exhale.
"You're looking a sight better than the last time I saw you. I trust it's Hermione's great care you bounced back so quickly."
Kingsley was doing one of two things here. He knew he had stormed off from Hermione and was trying to get him to play himself into a trap, or he genuinely did not know what had happened and Severus himself could play Kingsley for a fool and walk out of here.
"She's been, remarkable," he interjected a little too happy. "I owe everything to her." Well, he wasn't lying.
"She's a bright girl, Severus. Her talents would lay wasted if she doesn't continue her studies. She could be anything she wanted to be."
"I agree," he nodded. Eyes darting nervously, looking for an exit should he need to take one if the conversation went wayward.
"Is she around?" He asked with a raised brow, watching Severus intently.
"She's, She just went to-" the sound of a familiar voice cut him off, almost dancing through his eardrums, and he finally exhaled the breath he was holding. He'd never been happier to hear the octaves of her voice meeting his ears.
"I just went to Gringotts to withdraw some money." Hermione smiled at Kingsley before casting a glance sideways at Severus with a small smile tugging at her lips.
"How are your experiments going, Hermione?" Kingsley enquired, eyes gazing upon Severus's now healed throat. "A success, I am assuming."
"Yes. Quite." Hermione nodded, confirming. She hated small talk and right now she had bigger things to deal with than Kingsley, who was taking a feigned interest in her findings right now.
"Good. Good to know you have them under control. If you would like to share your findings with me one of these days, it would be much appreciated."
Hermione knew exactly what he was getting at and so did Severus, neither was inept and could read between the lines. He expected Hermione to have full control of Severus, or he would not hesitate to ship him off to Azkaban.
"Have a good day. Severus. Hermione." He nodded curtly before turning on his heel.
Neither said a word until he was out of view and earshot. Severus didn't even know what to say to her nor where to go from here.
"Severus," she leveled, turning to face him, taking a step back to put some space between them.
"Hermione," he began. Tightening his cloak around his body again to ward out the bitter cold.
"Severus. I'm sorry." A deep breath pulled through her nostril and exhaled sharply out of her mouth. She wracked her brain for the right thing to say so he wouldn't storm off again. "I'm sorry for everything. Come back home. Please." A single tear pricked the corner of her eye. She wiped it away as discreetly as she could, passing it off as a scratch of her nose.
"Home?" He looked at her with question and deep regard in his eye and uneasiness in his stomach. "I don't feel I have a home, Hermione. Not with you."
"You have a home with me, Severus," she almost pleaded as she talked. Taking a step closer to him, he could see the sadness and desperation deep in her eyes and it tugged at his heart.
"Hermione," he warned sternly.
"Just come back so, you have somewhere to stay. It can end at that until we sort things out. I will talk to Kingsley and see what we can do about everything. I still try to get him to overturn his decision. You can have your old room back. If he caught wind, you were here without me, he would've dragged you so quickly to Azkaban you wouldn't have time to process it."
"How did you know I was here?" He asked with an interested upward inflection.
Eyes rolled extravagantly into her head for but a split second. "It didn't take a genius to know that you would need money to get by without me, and you left too late last night to make it by closing time. I wasn't going to approach you only to watch from a distance, but when I saw Kingsley and I had to intervene. He's a very persuasive man as you know."
"I wouldn't have fallen into his trap, Hermione. I am smart enough to get myself out of situations or I wouldn't have made it this far in life under the hand of Voldemort. Obviously." He ended with his own extravagant eye roll to rival her own.
She smiled sheepishly. "Just come back. I'll talk to Kingsley. He likes me."
Exhaling sharply through his nose, he eyes her apprehensively. "Yes. Kingsley does like young girls, so you might be in luck," he said bitterly.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Hands on her hips, she looked sternly at him with an air that reminded him of Molly Weasley.
"Exactly what I said and that exact innocent is going to get you in trouble, Hermione. He puts young girls in positions that the only way out is to give him whatever he wants. Sometimes he will offer them a position they can't say no to, or he might put them in such a predicament they will do anything to find their way out." He sighed heavily. "I'm just saying be careful, is all. He is a man who knows how to get what he wants by manipulating the ones he wants most." He shrugged. "Not that I care." He lied.
She brushed off what he had said, or tried to. It lingered deep in the back of her mind for the rest of the day. At least Severus came home.
o-o-o-o-o
Come home. That was all he could play over and over in his mind for the rest of the day and well into the night. Home. He'd never really had a home and here she was practically slotting him into her life and giving him his first-ever proper home. How stupid was he to push her away?
Rolling over in bed, he punched the pillow with a right hook before lying back down, frustrated. He wanted to crawl in with Hermione, but he couldn't. He needed to hold steadfast, and show he wasn't a pushover. She hurt him and he wasn't about to go crawling into her bed soon.
Rage was coursing through his body as he tossed and he turned, seeing Kingsley's face every time his eyes closed. He couldn't stand to think what he would expect off of Hermione in lieu of his freedom and he would much rather stay a captive man than earn his freedom because Hermione laid her body down for a man that's only desire stopped at bedding her, blowing his load and moving on.
o-o-o-o-o
Hermione tossed and turned as she lay in bed. It broke her heart to know he lay on the opposite side of the wall and wanted nothing to do with her.
Punching the pillow hard, she rolled onto her side, tears streaming down her face with little reservation. She loved him, needed him. She thought he would be at least a little grateful that she saved his life and healed him, but it seems all that time ago she should have let them turn off the life support. He was bitter, and it was obvious she had done a giant unjust by saving him.
She would go to Kingsley tomorrow and level with him. See what they could do for his release and he would be free to go about his merry way and never set foot in her house, should that be what his heart truly desired.
She wondered what he meant when they were talking about Kingsley, that he liked young girls. She tried to wrack her brain and pinpoint anything in his demeanor or actions that would have ever led Severus to that assumption, and she couldn't think of a single thing. Perhaps Severus was just jealous of him.
She sucked in a shaky, teary breath. She could only hope that when push came to shove, Severus would stay where he belonged and that was here with her.
