Everyone, let's give a warm welcome to today's competitor on 'Magic or Mental Illness', Zelda Harkinian! (She's my self-projection so I'm allowed to bully her a little.)
Headcanon Time: I am convinced that Link, mostly TP and OoT Link, looks utterly gorgeous in candid photos but as soon as you ask him to pose for anything he looks like an Awkward Dad. BotW Link at least knows how to take a killer selfie.
The Magic Awakens
Chapter 34
Party Crashers
Zelda's heartbeat was frantic when the school hall brushed in frame of the car window. She still hadn't told anyone about the "warning", convinced that her anxiety was to blame, but that "What if?" still nagged her. As one of Hyrule's tireless saviours, she was owed one night of peaceful fun, but that stupid little dream had to ruin it.
If only Ganon, the real Ganon, was here. He was no cure for her mental illness, but the way he had faith in her and set her at ease was sorely missed in moments like these. Even without any solid plans of asking him to the dance, she was looking forward to being there with him and Link, even though they'd be treated like centrepieces by the student body.
In the front seats, Impa and Link tossed some banter. That was refreshing to see. Link had taken Impa's brush with death hard, and now he was taking her recovery even harder. Less snark and stinging silence, as though he had finally forgiven her for uprooting their lives in Ordon.
"I remember when your mum and I had our school dance," Impa said. "We had a crush on the same girl. Kept trying to one-up each other's gestures."
"Was it as bad as Groose?" Link asked.
"No, but shamefully close. Senior wrote a short poem, and I did a little wood carving. Thought her poem was a sure win, so I made a bigger carving, then she wrote a longer poem, and it all snowballed. Worst of all, neither of us had the guts to ask her in person, so we left our gifts on her desk. Poor girl had to lug a statue and scroll around with her all day. When someone else asked her, she dropped everything and hugged them. I kid you not, there were tears of joy."
"Gods, you were both awful," Link laughed.
"At least I grew out of it. You should've seen the poem Senior made everyone sit through at her wedding. It almost hit the floor. Rune loved it so much that he kissed her before the priest gave the command."
The car pulled up to the bay where the arch of winding paper vines and dangling LED fairies framed the path leading to the school hall. "Did you make that?" Impa asked.
"Most of the hands-on stuff," Link said. "Mr Gondo came up with the blueprint."
She put the car into park. "I'm getting a pic of you two under it."
Link groaned. "We already took a bunch."
"And now we'll take some more," Zelda quipped, eager to mask her nerves with some excitement.
Since they arrived early to help with any final preparations (and avoid the swarm of fans), they exited the car without a fuss. The loose pants of Zelda's jumpsuit swished about her heels, sporting the stunning border print of the kimono. It was belted by a thin red obi and silver obidome shaped like the Sheikah's teardrop insignia. Her loose hair had been collected into a thick braid that narrowed into tightly wound ribbon. There were a few wonky seams and missing details here and there, but overall, Zelda was happy with how well she pulled something together in a day.
Link's look was decently put together if one didn't look too long. He wore the bottle green blazer over Impa's black dress shirt that she often wore to her job, though he elected to have leave the top button undone. Impa's suit pants, which he had to roll up a few times, exposed black sneakers with a few scuff marks. And to top it all off… "Are you sure you want to wear that?" Zelda prodded his hat.
"Why not?"
"It doesn't match. It's worn. I don't think you've ever washed it since Dad gave it to you."
"Won't smell like him anymore," Link mumbled.
Oh. That's right. At least they had one parent around to dote on them tonight. "C'mon, get into position." Impa held up her slate, camera at the ready. The twins shuffled into the centre of the arc and posed. Well, Zelda did, shifting her weight to one leg and poising her hands as if she was about to throw a knife. Link stood front on with his hands in his pockets. Impa snapped a few pictures, and then she and Zelda coached Link through better poses.
He could've sworn Impa's hands were trembling, and when she hastily swiped through the blurry pictures of them, he knew for certain.
She gave Link and Zelda one last hug. "Have fun, you two. It's not often you get a night like this."
The twins bid their farewell and walked through the arch towards the hall. Impa slipped back into the driver's seat and almost slammed the door. Once her children had disappeared, she leaned her forehead against the steering wheel.
And let the tears fall.
Staff, teachers, and students flitted in and out of the softly lit hall. Painted banners of various folklore "carved into stone" hung from the walls, framed by paper vines and yet more fairies.
Upon a stage at the opposite end of the hall, five Zoras fiddled with their instruments and equipment under dim spotlights. "Oh, that must be the Indigo-Gos." Zelda latched Link's arm, breaking his eyes away from a very important search. "Let's go say hi."
She dragged him along, but halfway there, the most stunning woman crossed into a beam of moonlight before them. Her silky orange hair was tasselled between her collarbones. A long-sleeved gown exposed cool grey shoulders and dipped into a sweetheart's tip. But the skirt. A gradient of solid black to total transparency. The hemless hem floated about opaque black tights and stiletto heels that the uneducated would mistake for a natural extension of her legs. There wasn't a single stitch to be found on the gown made of shadows.
"Hilda, move that table over a little," Midna called. "Sakon, stop sniffing the murals."
Midna's prediction rang true. Link was indeed tortured by the sight of his tall, magnificent "imp", so radiant in her darkness. When she spun around, her skirt twirled with hypnotic grace. "Zelda," she chimed, though her eyes were on Link. "It's good to see you."
"Likewise," Zelda mumbled breathily.
Link stepped forward, or was he drawn in? It didn't matter. Even with the surrounding eyes and risky circumstances, surely he was allowed something with her. She floated closer as well.
Zelda cleared her throat. "So, your favourite band is here. How does it feel?"
"Oh." Midna whipped her head over her slack shoulder. "It's cool, I guess."
"Something wrong?" Zelda asked.
Midna opened her mouth to answer, but then Sakon ran up in her. "They're complaining about the lighting again." He jerked his head towards the stage.
Midna groaned. "They didn't have a problem with the lighting in all the fan cams," she grumbled. "I'll be right back." She dashed after the bald kid towards the door to the tech room behind them, dress swishing like ribbons of water.
Zelda had no business being that mesmerised. "Are you staring at my girlfriend?" Link chided.
Zelda flushed. "In my defence, you have impeccable taste," she squeaked. "And that dress is… Weren't we about to greet the band?" Again, she latched his arm and dragged him towards the Zoras.
"Hey." Zelda waved. "Lulu. Mikau." The Zoras took a second to perk up, and no warmth crossed their features at the twin's approach. She knew what they were like in their home, but perhaps they had a more serious mindset on the job. "How are you?"
"Good," the husband and wife droned. They hunched over their equipment again. Dim spotlights diffused their shadows.
"Care to introduce us to your bandmates?" Zelda asked.
"Pianist: Evan. Bassist: Japas. Drummer: Tijo," Mikau listed, not looking up from his guitar. How much tuning did it need? Those test strums sounded fine to Zelda, but she didn't know much about guitars anyway.
She raised a tentative hand for the other three band members. "It's nice to meet you all." They acknowledged her with a few grunts.
"C'mon, I think they're busy," Link said. "Let's look for something to do."
Unfortunately, "something to do" was a rare commodity, or perhaps it was withheld from them. Midna's overzealous organisation had already put everything in place, aside from catering, which neither Link nor Zelda were eager to chase up lest a certain pompadour appear. "You'll have to wait for Midna to come back," Zant echoed, but she was still tied up with that lighting issue.
Thanks to Groose's abhorrent punctuality, the catering arrived with most of the students. Zelda and Link stuck to the opposite end of the hall, which unfortunately put them near the entrance and thus in the sights of dozens of people begging to dance with them. Saria, who wore a tunic dress of green satin referencing the Kokiri, asked Zelda for her first dance. Relieved to see a trusted face, Zelda soared with her to the floor, leaving Link to deal with his own fans.
Then came a dreaded sing-song voice Link had rejected several times in the past fortnight. "Hiii, hero." Celeste elbowed her way through the small crowd in a short, black slip dress and combat boots. "Ooh, I see you're dressed as the wolf. That means we match!" Nothing about her outfit suggested 'imp' or 'ancient Twili princess'.
Link ducked out of there. Midna had to be back by now. If anyone could chase Celeste away, it was her. "I guess this would make us a pretty cute dance couple." No matter how much Link weaved through the jungle of bodies, Celeste still trotted on his tail. "I hear there's a slow song coming up next. Ballad of the Whalefish or something." Gods, where was Midna?
Shadows swayed into view. When Celeste reached for Link's hand, Midna snatched it for herself. "Dance with me," she demanded. Desperate and enraptured, Link didn't linger on the consequences. He nodded against his better judgement, and together they swept past a fuming Celeste.
Nothing felt right to Zelda. Nothing at all. The anticipation for this event was like pumping up a bouncy castle, and now instead of bouncing in it, most people were standing around as their collective weight deflated the structure. The Indigo-Gos, whom Zelda had been looking forward to since Midna's raving text, played something that barely passed for music. Sudden, experimental, ear-splitting volume changes were not music. The lighting wasn't lively or whimsical, but ghostly. Only the decorations were decent, but they couldn't save the dreary atmosphere that permeated everything.
But was this because the dance happened to be a dud, or was there an undercurrent of something sinister?
"Are you having fun?" Zelda asked Saria as they freestyled.
Saria blew a lock of green hair from her face. "No. Wanna dip and grab sushi?"
The offer activated Zelda's survival response. Was this a ploy to get her alone? Unprotected? Vulnerable? "What about Link?"
"He can come. Midna too."
What? Sure enough, the forbidden couple was dancing in the middle of the hall! Idiots.
"I'll think about it," Zelda said. "Might check out the snacks."
Saria nodded. "Cool. I'll go find Hilda."
Zelda felt a dozen eyes upon her as she wove her way to the snack table. She passed Coach Darunia, who stood by a wall with his arms crossed and a molten glare at the Indigo-Gos. "This beat is not hot," he grumbled.
Why did the dance being such a disappointment need to feel like a bigger problem than it was? Why was she looking to sour it further with some stupid conspiracy theory? Just let it be bad, she told herself over and over. Let it be bad. Let it be bad. There is no special reason why. Just let it be bad. The balls of her hands hit the table, and she leaned over it with scrunched eyes as she practiced her breathing. There was not plot. There was no danger. If anything, she should be pleased that a night got to be tough for completely normal reasons. It was fine. Everything was fine. For now, just browse the food options.
Bananas. It was all bananas. Banana bread. Banana slices. Banana candies. Banana punch. Even –oh, gods– was that banana nigiri?
The menu was enough reason to gag, but then the person she dreaded third-most finally cornered her. "Oh, hi Zelda." Groose didn't try to touch her this time. That was nice of him, but the bar was on the floor. Of the basement.
She whirled around. "Why bananas?" she demanded. He flinched. Zelda hadn't meant to be so forceful, but of all the things that could possibly feed her little conspiracy theory, it had to be the very thing that the Yiga worshiped as much as the Demon King: bananas.
"Jee, I dunno. Dad got a call last night from some organiser or whatever. Said there were some crazy allergies Minda forgot about. They offered a ton of rupees for a custom rush job."
That made no sense. How could something like that pass Midna by? And what would make bananas of all things the solution?
The clues all cycled within her. The dream. The lighting. The band. The food. The dream. The lighting. The band. The food.
The student council president, who had meticulously planned this event, was somehow ambivalent to all of this. Choosing to publicly dance with her forbidden partner. Surrounded by dozens of faces that looked like they belonged at first, but Zelda couldn't place.
Screw it! Maybe it was anxiety! Maybe nothing was wrong at all! But Zelda was well-past dismissing every notion that something was wrong. She needed to get Link and leave.
She power-walked past Groose, towards her brother. The unknown faces closed in, forming white noise out of a single question. "Care to dance?" Surely one of them, at least one, might be someone she knew, but there was no Saria, or Hilda, or Sakon, or Ashei, or Ruto or Paya or anyone.
Except for Groose. So she spun on her heel, stomped back to the snack table, and with tense shoulders, clenched fists, and gritted teeth, asked him the most vile question of all.
"Care to dance?"
Link was uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. Zelda was dancing with Groose, and Midna wouldn't let him check in with her. "She's fine. Don't worry about it." The band and lighting sucked, yet Midna defended them. "They're just rusty. The next song will be better." It was not better.
Most insidious of all, her hands clamped his shoulders like a pair of binder clips as they swayed with the music. This rescue mission to keep Celeste at bay had gone on for five songs. People were staring and whispering. This whole secret dating arrangement was for his safety too. Did she not know that after seeing what her father was capable of? Did she not notice that narrowed glare from her brother sipping punch by the wall?
The person he had fallen for, the one who chose to be her best self every day despite her worst impulses, had been replaced by someone who reminded Link of Celeste. So many people saw him as some trophy boyfriend, and now Midna danced among them even though everything before this point promised she never would. It could be a misunderstanding. Maybe the stress of planning the dance only to have it turn out this bad made her less self-aware, though that barely lent her the benefit of the doubt.
"Can we stop for a bit?" he asked at last. "I could get us some drinks."
"I'm not thirsty." He was.
"Midna, I need a break."
"One more song, okay?"
He jerked away from her like she was scalding hot water. "No."
Something dark fell over her, but it was not a darkness he had known her to have. "No?" That one word was a finger slowly drawing itself from the hole in a bursting dam. He really needed a break from her if this was how she was acting tonight.
Link turned and marched towards Zelda, whose eyes were glued on him, only to be blocked by a wall of grooving bodies.
The most forced sob came from behind as Midna clenched his arm and dragged him back. "Darling, why are you ruining our special night?"
Gasps echoed around the room. He was fuming. Everything was messy and public now, but he wouldn't let things escalate here. He needed to leave. He needed space. He needed to think about why the person he fell for was suddenly replaced by this boundary-shattering-
Wait. Replaced?
Before he could check her shadow, a door from the side burst open. "Who the fuck is that?!" Panting against the doorframe was his one true firework. Messy hair, smudged make-up, and torn shadows fresh from an unknown battle.
Just as he wrenched himself free of the fake, the lights shut off.
A hundred screams shredded the whispers. Students stampeded for the glowing exits only to be caught in scuffles and dragged away crying. Link summoned the Master Sword, flicking the point to every shadow that flew by, but how could he tell who was innocent and who was guilty?
The Triforce on his hand glowed brighter, just enough to make out students being thrown onto the same patch of floor. A single step towards them, and he was surrounded by red suits and one-eyed masks. Attacks rained upon him, and he only had what it took to deflect and deflect and deflect. If he couldn't save himself from this, how was he supposed to save his peers?
With the snap of a glove, the light boomed, and this time there weren't any dim spotlights. It was a harsh, bright one cast on all the students and staff huddled on the ground with their hands behind their heads, cowering under a dozen Yiga with crossbows that could spray arrows like guns via magic. Withered illusion strips of the disguise and dummy variety littered the floor. Before the display, with arms as wide as his grin, was Ghirahim. He had even worn a crisp, white tux for the occasion.
"As much as I adore a dramatic speech, I'm sure the scene has been set clearly enough." He gestured at the hostages. The only gleam of hope was that Zelda and Midna weren't among them, and neither were Groose and Zant for whatever reason. Every terrified face that was present pleaded for their hero to do something, but how could he try if it would snuff out a life?
"You can save them," Ghirahim said. "I know you love saving people. There's just one teensy tiny thing I need from you. Can you guess what it is?" Link's grip on the Master Sword shook more violently. The two sides clawed at him. Save the hostages, or save Hyrule? Hostages? Hyrule? Hostages? Hyrule?
If his actions fell even one innocent, he would be too broken to save Hyrule.
The sword clattered to the ground. A hundred faces were snuffed of hope. "Good wolf," Ghirahim cooed, then he turned to the nearest Yiga. "Tie him down."
Welp at least Link and Zelda got one good thing out of this chapter: Midna's Morticia Addams moment.
Also I have to wonder, does anyone have a favourite background character in this fic? I can't choose between Ashei, Sakon, or Celeste.
