Chapter 62
Everyone was in such a good mood; a party was inevitable. Every Order member had been rescued from Malfoy Manor with the exception of Dedalus Diggle. Luna joined the Order and quickly became the life of the party, and was already a ridiculously adept duelist. Xenophilius joined the party as well, and was currently trying to explain to Harry the importance of the Deathstick, or Elderwand. Hermione watched as Harry's eyes gradually glazed over. Even Mary and her husband Reginald came to celebrate with them. She had healed the prisoners after all, and wanted to celebrate their return to health and normalcy.
Although no one else was privy to their mission, the Trio were slowly but surely knocking out Voldemort's Horcruxes. Harry and Ron weren't even daunted by the prospect of breaking into Bellatrix's vault. They had her wand, they had her hair, they had Griphook to help them, anything was possible.
"You look pretty, Hermione," Lavender said, eyeing her up and down. "A nice change from your jeans and T-shirts."
Hermione had borrowed a simple black cocktail dress from Lavender for the occasion. She was tired of her clothing; practical for combat training, but not very festive. She hoped the fancier outfit would improve her mood.
It hadn't.
Hermione couldn't share in everyone's joy. The grim realities of war hit her full force. Eloise, Oliver and Hannah may be back, but she caught the vacant expressions on their faces when they thought no one was looking. Haunted by memories they didn't wish to share.
Especially Eloise.
Hermione remembered Dedalus again. His eyes closed and his smile sad as he begged her to kill him. If she hadn't killed him, he might be recovering in the Infirmary right now. And she thought of Draco, who was made to pay for decisions she made.
Draco.
She had to tell him the truth. Even if she didn't know how to help him right now, he deserved at least that. She couldn't lie to him anymore. She shouldn't.
The next time them met, she'd tell him.
"Justin's been avoiding me."
"What?" Hermione asked, pulled from her thoughts.
"The past two months or so, he hasn't been interested," Lavender explained, watching Justin brood in a corner.
Hermione furrowed her brow in confusion. "Aren't you with Dean?"
"No," Lavender rolled her eyes. "I'm with Oliver now that he's back."
"But," Hermione glanced from Justin standing alone with his arms crossed, to Oliver, smiling shyly in their direction. He met Hermione's eyes and his face fell. Oliver didn't judge her, but by unspoken agreement, neither had mentioned what happened in the Malfoy Manor dungeons. Eloise hadn't either, but she refused to speak to Hermione about anything, anyway. Hermione turned to Lavender, forcing a grin to her face, and Dedalus' accepting smile to the back of her memories.
"So why would you care about Justin?"
"Well I'd go between the two," she waved her hand flippantly. "We weren't exclusive. They didn't mind before."
"But not with Dean?" Hermione asked, puzzled.
Lavender shook her head. "Three is too many."
"Of course," Hermione nodded sagely. "Two men tops."
"And there's the conflict of interest, with the bomb making."
"Obviously," Hermione agreed with a small smile. "You've got to separate your personal and professional life." She watched Justin in the corner. He was sipping a butter beer by himself, occasionally looking at the clock on the wall. "Maybe Justin wanted a more monogamous relationship?" she suggested.
"Who knows?" Lavender shrugged and sauntered over to Oliver, the haunted look in his eyes disappeared as she approached. "His loss," she called back to Hermione.
She watched the two of them lock lips and forced her gaze over to Harry, who had escaped Xenophilius and was laughing with Ginny. Hermione wanted to be happy for them, but she couldn't. Harry's time was running out with each Horcrux they destroyed.
The Hufflepuff Cup. Then Nagini. Then Harry.
Ron had his arm around Susan Bones and they were gazing warmly at each other, deep in conversation. His happiness made her smile and she was heartened he found someone. He didn't look awkward around Susan like he had been with Hermione. Their romantic affection was natural. She was proud of him for destroying the Horcrux, even if his moment of bravado got them caught.
Harry and Ron's moods had lightened considerably after everyone but Dedalus was brought back. They had oscillated between sullen and morose since the party at the Manor, but the destruction of the Horcrux and the retrieval of the remaining prisoners returned the light to their eyes… somewhat. But they'd never be the same again. They'd never been in the position of having to choose one person over another before, and both had been irreparably damaged. Especially Harry, who had forgotten his Portkey that night.
"You seem distracted."
Hermione jumped and spun around to see Fred leaning against the wall next to her. She hadn't even noticed him approach and took a sip of her Butterbeer, considering her answer.
"They're not the same," she replied, unable to remove Dedalus' face from her mind. She shouldn't have done it. He would be here. Alive.
Fred followed her gaze towards Oliver and Lavender, towards Hannah and Neville, and then towards Eloise. "I don't suppose any of us will be the same after this is over."
Hermione observed Eloise's hollow expression. "But it's different. For them. They've been tortured and who knows what else. I wonder if we shouldn't just send them all into hiding with their families. We don't know what they've been through."
Fred glanced at Oliver, shifted his gaze to Hannah, and then Eloise. "Luna seems okay; I don't think they did much to her since she wasn't an Order member when she was captured." Fred's brown eyes bored into her. "Do you really think that's what they want?"
Hermione shrugged pensively. "Hannah has Neville, Oliver has Lavender, but Eloise doesn't have anyone. And we left her at the first breakout because we could only take three."
Fred turned to look at Eloise, sitting by herself and holding a Butterbeer that she wasn't drinking. Hermione couldn't imagine the feeling of abandonment. It wasn't like with Ollivander, who told her to leave him there. Eloise had watched them all leave without her, desperately pleading for them to come back. After giving Hermione a determined look Fred pushed himself off the wall and disappeared into the kitchen.
Alright, then.
Hermione had never understood the twins. She'd do a better job predicting Quidditch fantasy league with Arithmancy equations.
After being left by herself, she walked over to Hannah and Neville and they both smiled as she approached.
"I don't think I've properly thanked you, Harry and Ron for saving us," Hannah said, laying her hand on Hermione's forearm.
Hermione shook her head. "It could have been any one of us in that dungeon. We have a responsibility towards one another. We just didn't know how to get you all out at the same time."
Hannah took her hand, eyes imploring her to understand. "You did what you could, that's what matters."
Hermione stared at Eloise, sitting by herself, a hollow expression on her face. "Not to her."
Hannah shifted her gaze to Eloise.
"You can't blame yourself, Hermione," Neville said. "And she's here now."
"You should have seen what they did to Dedalus." Hannah's face hardened uncharacteristically. "He protected us, said we didn't know anything – which we didn't. Not anything useful anyway. And he never broke, kept most of their focus on him. It would have been so much worse for us if he weren't there. I can't wait until I'm put on a raid again." Her tone became menacing. "I want to make them pay."
Hermione twisted her hands in the fabric of her dress and tried to ignore the hollow feeling in her stomach when she thought about Dedalus' smile.
Neville rubbed her upper arm. "Don't talk like that, Hannah."
"I hate them, Neville. I can't help it. Not after…" she sucked in a shuddering breath. "I hate them." Hannah clenched her jaw, took a sip of her Butterbeer and stared at nothing in particular. "You know who tortured us most of the time?" Hannah asked, still staring with a distant expression. "Draco Malfoy."
Hermione flicked her eyes to Hannah's. She shouldn't be surprised. Draco had confessed to torturing her friends. Once again, she was forced to confront the fact that Draco was a Death Eater. Despite the fact that he had changed, he was still working with people that expected him to kill, to torture and to maim.
Aside from that, the use of Unforgivable Curses was harming him. She needed to speak with Tonks about how to help him deal with the affects.
"Malfoy?" Neville's eyes widened. "But Harry said he couldn't go through with killing Dumbledore. He was just a petty bully."
"Not anymore. Those Slytherins." She almost hissed the word, angry at the memory. "They're all evil and going the way of their parents. This war is changing them for the worse. Pansy Parkinson is a Snatcher. Did you know that?"
She hadn't ever talked with Draco about what his friends were doing in the war. He had been absolutely adamant that she not contact them about spying, saying it was too dangerous. Back then, she didn't want to chance breaking his trust.
But twice now, she had seen Pansy follow Draco's lead despite him acting contrary to what Voldemort would have wanted. It must be that many of Voldemort's followers weren't necessarily loyal, they were scared.
Hermione wondered how many.
"Some of the Muggle-born prisoners we were with mentioned who they were captured by," Hannah continued with venom in her voice. "She's no stranger to torture either. I've seen it. They're all rotten."
Hermione sipped her Butterbeer in silence, pondering the Death Eaters, remembering how terrified she felt on the other end of Draco's wand.
Suddenly, Fred and George burst out of the kitchen, singing Happy Birthday at the top of their lungs, off-key and completely mismatched in timing. George held a cake, replete with candles sending off tiny explosions.
Everyone stopped their conversations and watched the twins as they approached Eloise, each going down on bended knee, bowing their heads and holding out the cake as if offering tribute to a queen. Eloise gaped at them from her armchair.
"But, it's not my birthday!" she protested.
"Not your birthday?" Fred lifted his head and looked at George in mock horror. "Who's in charge of collecting intelligence around here anyway?"
"Sack them immediately," George replied. He turned to Eloise, who had a huge smile on her face now. "Apologies Eloise. This is so embarrassing. I'll just go toss the cake, clearly it was a misuse of valuable Order resources." He raised an eyebrow in Hermione's direction. "Hermione would never approve. No fun of any kind when she's making Portkeys."
Hermione smiled, and the warmth of affection for the twins spread in her belly.
Eloise grabbed his sleeve as he turned to go. "We shouldn't waste a perfectly good cake. And I'd like to blow out those candles."
"Oh, right." Fred said, scratching the back of his neck. "About that… I wouldn't blow out the candles. We haven't finished testing them yet."
George craned his neck, searching the room and smiled widely when his eyes landed on Ron. "Oh Ronnikins!" he called out in a high pitched voice, waving him over. "Be a good chap. Come blow out Eloise's candles for her."
Ron took a swig from his Butterbeer and called back. "Those days of me being your pygmy puff are over."
Fred looked at George, wistful. "I miss those days."
"Dearly," George solemnly agreed.
"Eh…Ginny?" Fred looked around the room and saw her snogging Harry while giving him the two fingered salute. "I'll take that as a 'No.'"
"Rude!" George called back to her.
"So how do we eat the cake then?" Eloise asked, still smiling.
George levitated the candles out of the cake one by one while Fred stood up. "We should probably do this outside."
"Yeah," Fred agreed eyeing him. "One of us could lose an ear."
"Or their only ear," George retorted, levitating more candles out and shaking his head in mock consternation and muttering. "So inconsiderate to the one-eared."
"Fancy joining us, Eloise? We're probably going to blow random things up trying to get rid of these."
Eloise gazed at the two of them and the candles floating in mid-air, still giving off tiny explosions, and then stood up from her armchair determinedly. "I would love to blow random things up."
Immediately Lavender appeared, Oliver cautiously trailing behind her. "Did you say you were blowing random things up?"
George slowly turned to her with a smirk. "Do you have a hidden penchant for destruction, Brown?"
Lavender blushed, forgetting that no one knew she was being secretly trained to build bombs with Dean. The Order didn't want Voldemort's Army to get wind that they were utilizing Muggle bombs, lest they prepare for that eventuality. "I'd like to join. If you don't mind."
"The more the merrier," Fred replied jovially.
Hermione watched the five of them exit the safe house, feeling a burst of love for the twins. Angelina and Alicia were huddled over their Butterbeers in the corner, whispering to each other and staring after the twins fondly. Alicia wiped a tear off her cheek.
She wished Seamus and Gwendoline could have been with them today. And Dedalus.
Her Galleon warmed in her dress pocket causing her heart to nearly leap out of her ribcage.
Draco was finally contacting her!
Eagerly, she dug the Galleon out and read the glowing message.
I need you now.
Hermione surveyed the room. Everyone was happy, joking and celebrating. They didn't need her, but Draco did. She told Neville she was leaving, ignored his knowing look and headed to her room.
She glanced down at her dress and, feeling a burst of inspiration, sprinted up the stairs to her room, removed her knickers and left them on her bed.
oooooooooooooooooo
As soon as Hermione appeared in her bedroom she was gently whirled around. She barely had a chance to see him before Draco started carefully moving her arms, tilting her head, apparently checking for something.
"What are you doing?" she asked, as he brushed her hair out of the way.
Cradling her face, he studied her expression, tenderly inspecting her. "How much did I hurt you?"
Draco's brows furrowed in worry. The tips of his fingers gingerly pressed against her neck, cheeks and jaw. He must be nearly recovered himself by now, if not completely.
"I'm fine, actually."
He tilted her head back so he could look down into her eyes. "You're sure?" His gaze roamed over her face, looking for any hint that she hurt, and his thumbs lightly stroked her cheekbones.
"Yes. I only had to take a mild potion, but I don't even need that anymore."
He remained unconvinced, searching for any sign that she was covering up pain.
Hermione smiled at his affection. "Draco, really. I'm alright. I've even been to combat training every day since we got back." She smirked. "Your Cruciatus is lacking."
He raised his eyebrows in challenge. "Oh yeah?"
"Definitely sub-par wandwork."
At her retort, he pressed two fingers into her sternum and pushed her lightly away from his body.
"I'll teach you not to question my wandwork," he murmured, taking in her dress with an appreciative smile. His hungry eyes raked up and down her body. "What are you wearing?"
His voice was a low growl and then his mouth descended onto hers before she had a chance to respond. Draco's strong, muscular arms wrapped around her, one hand grabbing her arse, the other cradling the back of her skull. He walked her backwards, prying her lips open with gentle nips and an increasingly demanding tongue. She thought he was walking her back towards her bed but he aimed her towards the desk. As they approached he was practically ravaging her mouth while his fingers descended lower, splaying over her thigh and creeping under the hem of her dress.
"It's not what I'm wearing," Hermione explained with a ragged intake of breath. He lowered his head to attack her neck and throat. Her body thrummed from his touches and she ran her hand through his hair. His hand slid up her thigh, pausing at the exact moment he realized what she had done. "It's what I'm not wearing."
Draco released a long, low moan of appreciation as his hand slid around the curve of her bare arse and dug in.
"Naughty," he breathed into her ear.
Hermione reached down to feel him but he lifted her up by her bum, bunching up the fabric around her thighs as she wrapped her legs around him. His hands cupped her rear and she ground onto his length. He smiled against her lips.
"Love you." He exhaled into her mouth and pressed himself into her soft body, molding her against him.
"Need you." Draco's voice was a low desperate gasp and he thrust against her.
"Want you." His tongue plundered her mouth, and it was all she could do to breathe as he devoured her moans and placed her on her desk. One hand made its way between her legs and the other snaked up her back to find the zipper.
Hermione couldn't keep up with him. His fingers had already found her wet slit and he inserted two inside her. She threw her head back to the sound of the zipper sliding down her back while he sucked on her throat; frantic, desperate and rough. Draco tugged the opening of her dress and bra strap down her shoulder, exposing her breast. He released her throat and she strained forward, fucking herself on his fingers while he lowered his head to lathe her breast. She clung to his shoulders as she thrust against his hand with a grunt, reaching forward while he licked her nipple, finally sucking it into his mouth.
"Oh…" she gasped as the inward motion of her nipple shot heat down to her core, and her walls clenched around his fingers.
Hermione pleaded, hardly aware of what she was she was saying while his thumb worked her clit, bringing her up and over her climax. She came hard and fast, moaning towards the ceiling, fingers digging into Draco's shoulders with her nipple in his mouth. He released her breast and she reached down for his belt buckle, wanting nothing more than to be filled by him. He raised his head, cheeks flushed, hair mussed, lips swollen and grey eyes bright and ravenous for her.
Hermione couldn't open his trousers fast enough and Draco started to help her when he suddenly stumbled backwards with a cry, clutching his forearm. His eyes were wide with alarm.
"I have to go," he panted.
She nodded wordlessly, placing her hands on her bare thighs, her head a whirlwind of sensation.
He Disapparated and Hermione remained there breathless, sitting on her desk with her heart pounding furiously, digesting what had happened. Her body was still hot from his fevered, desperate touches. Slowly, she breathed in and out, trying to calm herself down from the orgasm Draco wrenched out of her.
She wondered why Voldemort was calling him at ten o'clock at night, and hoped it wouldn't result in him being tortured again. He had only just recovered from the last time.
Biting her lip with worry, she Apparated back to her room, donned her knickers and rejoined the Order party.
"That was a quick shag."
Hermione turned around to see Ginny with a shit eating grin on her face.
"You know," Hermione replied with a wry smile. "There are other things in life besides sex."
"Not many. And you can't hide your criminal forever," Ginny warned her before sauntering back to Harry and wiggling onto his lap.
Hermione grabbed another Butterbeer and surveyed the room. She could hear faint explosions and smiled to herself. Fred and George were brilliant in more ways than one. She walked outside, leaned against the post of the front porch and watched little fireballs burst in the night, followed by a few yells by Fred or George, and the deep belly laugh of Eloise.
Lavender stood with Oliver, entranced, resting her head on his chest and watching the bursts of fire on the lawn. Oliver met Hermione's eyes, and then looked away, face contorted with guilt. Oliver hadn't forgiven himself for abandoning Eloise either. She wondered how he had processed his experience there, if he felt similar to Hannah.
Eloise had also seen her kill Dedalus, and hadn't spoken with anyone, let alone Hermione, since she returned.
She shivered in the night air and smiled at the twins.
Hermione felt a warmth in her dress pocket. Draco must be finished with whatever Voldemort wanted and was now able to see her again. She hoped he was okay. Eagerly, she took her coin out and stopped breathing.
Raid. Now. Get out.
Adrenaline raced through her body. She thumbed a reply.
Which house?
The seconds ticked by but there was no answer. She waited a few more seconds. Nothing. They'd have to act as if every house was being raided. Heart racing, she ran back into the house, pushing past Cho who glared at her, elbowing her way forward until she stood in front of Neville and Hannah again, breathing heavily. He tensed when he saw the look on her face.
"There's a raid now. Soon," she gasped for breath. "Now. Activate the caterwauling alarms."
Hannah grabbed his arm in terror.
"Here?" Neville asked, his voice rising in slight panic.
"I don't know. We all need to leave."
She turned to Hannah. "Can you warn the other safe-house leaders? I don't know if they're here. I think I saw Penelope but I don't know about the others."
"Of course!" she replied in a shaky voice.
The caterwauling alarm started blaring while Hannah's Patronuses flew around the room and out the window, searching for their targets. Hermione sent hers to McGonagall, Tonks and Remus. Dean's loud cry rang through the air.
"RAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIID!"
Bottles and glasses smashed on the ground as everyone ran around trying to get to their Portkeys. Cracks of Apparition were heard, reminding Hermione of a persistent problem in their evacuation plan – not everyone brought their Portkeys with them to other safe houses and they needed to be retrieved. She wondered if some were Apparating precisely to the safe house under attack. Then again, they'd only succeed in doing so if there was no anti-Apparition ward in place.
With a start, Hermione remembered Eloise. She didn't have a Portkey. The Trio had only recently rescued her and Hermione hadn't had the time or the resources to make her one.
She clutched Neville's arm frantically. "Eloise doesn't have a Portkey, I'll take her with mine."
He nodded and Hermione lunged towards the door, almost getting knocked in the face as the twins burst in with Eloise, face stricken with terror. "I'll take her with my Portkey," Hermione told them. "It's pretty large. Get yourselves out!" She grabbed Eloise's hand and they raced up the stairs into her room. She summoned her beaded bag and pulled it over her neck and across her chest.
"My book is a Portkey," she said, gasping for breath and motioning towards Hogwarts: A History sitting on her nightstand. "We'll touch it on the count of three. Ready?"
Eloise nodded wordlessly, grabbing Hermione's hand like a lifeline.
"One, two, three, Portus!"
After a tug on her bellybutton, they reappeared in the Bath warehouse, book in hand. Confused and frantic Order members were popping into space all across the empty expanse of the building. It was noisy and the din got louder as more people appeared.
Hermione glanced at Eloise. She was terrified.
"Are you alright?"
Eloise shook her head to the negative. Of course she wouldn't be. Eloise was captured during the first raid, held in a dungeon and tortured. She'd just been rescued only to face another raid.
"Nobody knows this location except Remus and I. Certainly they don't. They can't get us here. The only way in is by Portkey," she raised her book and wiggled it for show, "which they don't have." Hermione went to find Harry and Ron but Eloise didn't release her hand. Hermione took in her frightened expression. "Come with me, okay?"
Eloise nodded with a whimper and they wove in and out between the Order members who were all speaking at once, hugging each other and craning their necks to see who else had arrived. Neville had his roster, checking off names. So did Penelope and the other safe house leaders. Justin slipped outside. Hermione wondered why he left but supposed he needed some fresh air. It was awfully crowded in the warehouse and they'd be here for a while. Finally, she saw Harry and Ginny run and hug each other, and then turned around to see Ron and Susan holding hands, nervously eyeing everyone appear.
Her posture relaxed in relief. She started searching for the rest of the Weasleys and exhaled slowly as she found them, one by one.
Now she needed to find Tonks. Hermione whirled around again, searching the crowd and saw Tonks with Teddy strapped across her chest. She strode over to her, dragging Eloise with her. She was about to speak when she heard Eloise's trembling voice instead.
"Tonks?"
They turned to Eloise, waiting to see what she'd say.
"I want to go home," she was on the verge of tears. "I can't do this anymore."
Tonks glanced down at Eloise's hands and Hermione's gaze followed. They were shaking. She tried to still the tremors but couldn't, and grabbed Hermione's arm instead.
Tonks nodded and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "We'll arrange it as soon as this blows over. Alright?"
Eloise relaxed somewhat but started to cry, and ran over to Hannah, who upon seeing her face, immediately drew her into a hug. Hermione watched and bit her lip to stop herself from crying, remembering Eloise's face, silently screaming in the dungeon cell as she and Oliver walked away.
"All the houses got hit at once?" Tonks asked her, brow furrowed.
"I don't know," Hermione explained, still watching Eloise and Hannah. "He just warned me now. We'll have to stay here until we know which house was compromised."
Tonks eyed her. "We have alarms set off by anti-Apparition wards. They'll know we were tipped off now. He endangered himself by warning you."
Hermione drew her gaze back to Tonks. "It wouldn't be the first time. He's demonstrated trust, even though he lied about having the prisoners." That had been Kingsley's latest excuse for not granting him an Unbreakable Vow.
Draco had been pro-active this summer, using his own knowledge of what would be useful to the Order instead of waiting for instruction. He endangered himself and his family to ensure the Trio got out with the prisoners, lied about their identities when they were captured by Snatchers, and just now warned them about another raid.
The older witch set her mouth in a grim line. "I know, Hermione."
Fat lot of good that did her if Kingsley still refused.
The safe house leaders reported to Remus one by one. Everyone had gotten out safely but they weren't sure which safe house had been hit yet, although they suspected Westchester, again where the Trio stayed. The Order would have to wait for some time in the Bath warehouse before sending scouts back to investigate.
Hermione saw Eloise's body shudder with sobs and Hannah squeezed her harder, whispering something into her ear.
They probably had nightmares caused by Draco.
"Tonks?" Hermione asked tentatively.
The Auror scanned everyone milling about in the warehouse one last time before facing Hermione.
"Yeah?"
"How do you deal with performing so many Unforgivable Curses? With torturing? The Imperius Curse? Even killing?"
Tonks studied her in pity. "Are you still thinking about Dedalus?"
Hermione's gaze fell to the ground. She often saw his face before going to bed. Eyes closed, smiling, waiting for death. Killing Dedalus was insignificant in comparison to what Draco had done, but the Auror still haunted her dreams.
"Yes, but I was referring to…" she flitted her eyes around to ensure they could talk in confidence. "To Draco. To everything he does to stay on as a spy, to protect his parents. It's eating away at him."
Hermione knew that Tonks still had reservations about her acting as his handler but for all intents and purposes, the arrangement was working out well, they were getting more information than before.
"You know that Draco's tortured prisoners at the Manor," Hermione explained. "He mentioned he'd never been able to do it properly before, but he is now. Has been since the raid in March."
Tonks looked at her sharply. "He's tapping into his hatred of others to do it. That's what I do."
"I don't think it's just that." Hermione chewed on her lip in thought, remembering the night he lost control and screamed at her to hit him. "I think he also hates himself on some level, because of what he does as a Death Eater."
Tonks was taken aback, considering her words. "That's… interesting. I've never heard of anyone using self-loathing to fuel the Cruciatus or Killing Curses before."
"But it shouldn't matter, right? You manage it," Hermione persisted. "You don't let it change who you are. And you and Remus have a good relationship."
Hermione wondered what Tonks could offer Draco to help him as he struggled with his role as a Death Eater.
The Auror scrutinized her, quiet for a moment. "Are you scared of him?"
Hermione held her breath, staring back into Tonks' probing eyes.
"There was one time that…" It was his self-loathing that made him snap when she hit him, the fact that he was using hatred of himself to fuel his Cruciatus Curse. The violent way he demanded she punish him had truly scared her that night. "Yes," she relented. "I wasn't before, but the use of dark magic is starting to affect him. Was Remus scared of you?"
Tonks grin was sardonic. "Around the full moon or not? Remus and I are an odd pair. But no, I manage it."
"So Draco could see a Mind Healer? He could learn to manage it like you do?"
Tonks eyes softened in sympathy. "No, he can't get help."
Hermione's stomach lurched. "But he–"
"What excuse would he have to see a Mind Healer? And specifically about this? His case is more complicated than what Aurors have to deal with." She looked at Hermione in pity. "I've never heard of anyone using self-hate as fuel for Unforgivable Curses. He'll compromise himself, or the Mind Healer would." Teddy shifted in the wrap and Tonks rubbed his back. "Draco told you he couldn't even ask his father for help about this, and you want him to see a stranger?"
Hermione felt sick to her stomach. Tonks was right, but the situation was terrible and her whole body ached for him. After all Draco was putting himself through, he couldn't even seek help?
"Isn't there anything he can do?" She hated the pleading whine in her voice, but she couldn't help it.
"There is," Tonks added hopefully. "He can cast his Patronus. He's fortunate you taught him how. It'll slow down his deterioration, maybe even stop it, depending on how often he's using the curses, and if he's using all three. But he'll need to see a Mind Healer when this is over. Immediately. There's no substitute."
Hermione wondered when the war would be over, and she glanced around at the Order members, still talking loudly in the warehouse. They were all here – and safe – because of Draco.
"I'll tell him."
Tonks studied her. "I know you, Hermione. You won't abandon him, but you need to be careful. He's unstable. Yet another reason I should have replaced you earlier."
The rational side of her knew that Tonks was right again and Hermione clenched her jaw. But whoever Draco's handler would have been, they'd be far less sympathetic to his plight. Even in retrospect, she was glad she hadn't been replaced, and outmaneuvered Tonks, albeit unintentionally.
"What if his state of mind impacts his performance as a spy?"
Tonks' eyes travelled over Hermione's face. "Let me know if you think it is. And in the meantime, you need to watch yourself around him."
Next chapter:
Golden Trio Antics. And Pansy. She's got opinions.
Chapters 63 and 64 have some fluff before the angst and violence start up again. So enjoy it while it lasts!
