"Do you want to talk about last night now?" Harry asked, after he and his wife had gotten up and ready to go.
Daphne nodded, sitting beside him on the bed. "I'm sorry - I was pissed with Astoria, but you're right and I shouldn't have gone and taken that out on you. I'll make it up to you...and to Daisy."
"What...were you upset about?" Harry asked cautiously.
"Just..." Daphne looked away. "Just the old arguments, you know? She wants to keep throwing herself out there and killing herself, and I just wish she'd cut it out."
"I know you don't want to lose her, too," Harry said softly. "But don't you think you're just- banging your head on a wall?"
"A big, brick one," Daphne murmured. "Funny how I always wanted to get her to leave me alone when we were kids, and now I just can't stop chasing after her..."
Harry put his arms around her and kissed her. He didn't really know what to tell her that he hadn't before; she knew he didn't agree with her opinion on the subject. And he didn't want to give it again, and risk upsetting her more. He chose to say something else that might...also upset her. "Daphne, look, I know you were upset last night, but...still...some of the things you said - about Daisy, and me, and yourself...about being a good parent-"
"I've got no idea where the hell any of that shite came from," Daphne interrupted.
"It came from you, Daphne. And that's fine! We just need to talk about it. Because I don't think you're a bad parent, I don't think you're a bad mother to Daisy! And Daisy doesn't either! Okay? We love you, and you're great."
Daphne was quiet. "Fuck it, alright, we'll talk about it. It just seems like you've always gotten her. Everything you do and say is a hit with her - and all I do is miss. You think of what she needs before she does, and I can't remember half the time! Tell me how I'm not a shitty mother again?"
Harry couldn't restrain a laugh. "You really think everything I do or say to her is a hit? After all her tantrums and meltdowns?"
"Well no, alright - you've got me there. But...still feels that way to me," Daphne said gloomily. "I don't know what the hell to even do different with her! I feel like I suck all the time, I can't- I just- dammit!" she swore, choking up. "I never put a thought to being a mom, and then I married you and I had to be one, and I just suck at it and I...You do more for her than I do! You're her daddy; I'm just a roommate! And I don't want to be, but I'm fine with it - I want to do more, step up, but I'm scared of that I want to just hide from it and leave and-"
"You want to leave?" Harry said quietly. "You want to stop being Daisy's mother?"
Daphne froze. "Fuck, no, I didn't say that - I don't mean that. I just feel like...I married too soon, I didn't think what it meant to- I never expected to...I can't do this, I don't know if I can keep doing this. I just...fuck. I'm sorry, I know, it's awful!" She burst into tears, smacking her hands to her own head.
"How long have you been feeling like this? This whole time?" Harry demanded, anger surging.
"Well...not exactly-" Daphne started.
Harry drew a breath and stood, stalking away for the door. "You should probably think about it some more," he said, more harshly than he might have intended.
"H-Harry, come on, I didn't-"
"No!" Harry rounded on her. "Look, if that's how you feel - you want to leave, leave Daisy, leave me - then go! Nobody's keeping you here, yeah? So just go already! Better that than to sit around wallowing to yourself like this. It's not great for anyone, is it?"
Daphne jumped to her feet, striding toward him with glinting eyes. "I didn't fucking say that! I don't want that, I don't-"
"Yes you did! And that's fine! Divorces exist for a reason! I won't make you stay if you're not happy, okay? You said you want to leave, and you can do that! You've never let me stop you from doing anything before, don't start now!" Harry said sarcastically.
"Oh go to hell, you fucking prick! I just said I feel that way, I don't actually want to- goddammit, fuck you!"
"Fuck you! You are a terrible mother, you know that! Who the hell wants to just abandon their kid?!" Harry shouted back at her furiously. Then he turned and stormed out.
He heard the telltale crack of apparition behind him.
Another toward the front of the house - and then the front door opening and slamming shut.
Hot rage roared to life in Harry's chest.
He knew she had wanted to leave! And she just had.
"Sthubeby...Mmmm, Stupheffy! Stubefy! Stubefy, Stubefy, Stubefy- dammit."
Just past noon, Harry eyed his daughter across Grimmauld Place's living room. She was sprawled on the floor on her back, kicking her legs. and extending her arms to the high ceiling. He sighed as he watched her continue her efforts to spellcast by using only her tongue. He debated actually getting up from the couch or not and moving elsewhere. Of course, that wouldn't actually solve the problem of the harm that Daisy might do to herself.
"Daisy?" he spoke calmly.
She stopped, turning her head to look back at him. "What, daddy?"
"You need to stop doing that; I don't want you to knock yourself out, or blow your head off or something."
"But I think I can really do it!" Daisy responded fiercely. She opened her mouth wide, stuck out her tongue, and gave it a flick as she tried to keep speaking. "Thee? Ith I justh- thay Stubefy like thisth-"
"Daisy!" Harry said firmly. "What did I say? That's way too dangerous to mess around with. It's dangerous enough just using your hands - do you know how many mages over in Africa have really bad burns or cuts, or even have lost their hands to training wandlessly? And that's with some of the best teachers in the world! If a deadly spell backfires, you're going to get majorly hurt. Maybe even killed, if you keep doing that inside your own mouth!" He paused, taking a breath and giving a look to the ceiling. "Or you could end up damaging the house if you actually get a spell off. I don't want to have to dig you out from under a bunch of rubble."
"I know I might blow up the ceiling," Daisy replied, unfazed. She swirled her hands above herself, adding, "That's why I put my arms up; I can make a shield if it works."
"That's...at least a good safety idea," Harry told her slowly. "But I'd rather you just didn't try this at all, Daisy. Okay?"
Daisy stuck her tongue out at him, blowing a loud raspberry.
Harry counted to three before talking again. "No attitude, Daisy, please. It's just rude."
Daisy stuck her tongue out at him again, giving it a flick.
Harry sighed. He didn't want to issue this ultimatum today, but... "If you don't cut this out, you're not going to get to go outside today."
Daisy retracted her tongue immediately, letting her arms fall and sitting upright so fast it was almost comical. "Sorry, daddy!" she exclaimed. "But...I just really thought I had it! I know I can do it!" she insisted fiercely.
"I believe you could do it," Harry said sincerely. "You're wonderful, and talented, and strong, and beautiful - but let's just not, please? It's dangerous. I don't want you getting hurt."
"Fine..." Daisy flung herself back onto the floor with a great sigh. She put her hands under her head - kicked her feet up before letting them fall too.
"Thank you for listening, Daisy."
"I only listened 'cause you said I was beautiful," Daisy informed, a small smile growing on her lips.
"Really?" Harry raised an eyebrow, doing his best to smother a grin.
"Uh-huh."
"So if I started calling you that more often, you'd listen to me more often?"
Daisy stared. She frowned, really seeming to mull it over. Then- "No!"
Harry laughed.
Daisy joined him, giggling madly. When she was finished, she jumped to her feet, came right over to Harry and climbed into his lap. She hugged him, her arms looping tightly around his neck.
Harry hugged her back, enjoying the contact - but a little hazy on why it was happening so out of the blue like this. Daisy made it clear after a moment, drawing back to gaze at him with seriousness.
"Sorry I wasn't listening, daddy - and that I was so rude to you, too," Daisy said quietly.
Harry smiled. "It's okay. Thank you for apologizing for it; that's really good of you."
Daisy continued to stare into his face with total seriousness. Her eyes became distant. Her lips pressed together.
"What're you thinking about, sweetie?" Harry asked.
"Do I have a birth name?"
Harry froze. He breathed. Was it finally time? "Yes..." he said, swallowing. "You do."
"I have to," Daisy went on, still looking him in the eyes. Hers were narrowed now; she was expecting opposition. "I have birth parents, and you said you named me Daisy - so I have to have a birth name that they gave me before you."
"That's right," Harry told her calmly.
"What is it, then?"
"It was...D-Delphini - Delphi," Harry spoke quietly.
Daisy's gaze became unfocused once more. Her lips moved silently. She blinked, and her face scrunched up. "I like Daisy a whole lot more," she said firmly. "It's pretty; Delphini sounds like a gross vegetable or something. Like asparagus."
"I like Daisy, too," Harry said simply.
And that was the end of it.
Harry had thought it wouldn't be - had thought she would go on to ask about her birth parents themselves. But that dreaded question did not come. And he could breathe relief again, and hope that question truly never came. Though, of course, if it did...he would do as ever and tell her the truth. No matter how much he would hate having to, for all the pain and upset it was bound to cause her.
All Daisy did was give him another close hug, a kiss on the cheek, a very serious "thank you for telling me," and then she had thrown herself down to lay across his lap, carefree as could be.
Harry gazed down on her, stroking her hair and relaxing again.
It was going to be soon, wasn't it?
Everything seemed to be...soon.
Just on the horizon.
That prophecy he could never forget, having to finally tell Daisy about her parentage...
Soon.
But Harry could be grateful that for now, for today, neither of them had to worry about such things just yet.
A few hours later, a Floo call roared to life.
He turned toward the flames, staring at the face burning in it.
"Ginny?"
"Hi, Harry," she replied, very casually. A smile on her lips.
"What's- err- going on?" Harry asked, striding over to kneel before the fireplace. He paused, looking to Daisy. "Why don't you go up to your room?" he told her quickly.
Daisy eyed him. Eyed the fire. Then she shrugged and walked out into the hall.
"So what's going on?" Harry asked Ginny again.
"Nothing. I just realized from yesterday that it's been too long since we've talked on any kind of regular basis," Ginny replied. "I was hoping we could start that again? I feel like we haven't been close since we were teenagers," she confessed, after a moment's hesitation.
"Great! Yeah - of course we can," Harry agreed. "I- look, I am sorry we haven't kept in touch. I'm sorry I haven't been- it's just- you know- the war, and Daisy, and...losing everyone that we did...I'm sorry; you were there that night, I wasn't," he hastened to add, stammering.
"It's fine," Ginny waved off. "Thanks, Harry."
"Yeah. So...do you just want to talk, or- do you want to come on over?"
"Let's just talk."
"Okay. Well - anything you like, then."
"How about yesterday - Daisy?"
"What about her? Did she give you trouble up on the broom flight?"
"Oh no! She was great - and I did Sticky Charm her behind to the broom like you asked, by the way," Ginny grinned. "Just - well - how she broke through my shield in our duel? That incantation, and the Blasting Curse...the whole wandless magic in general! I know battle magic is reported to be leagues easier than charms and transfigurations in that area, but even still...the things she was doing? That was some powerful magic for an average adult mage, let alone a five year old - almost six. That shield has stood up to Death Eater curses; it should have easily held against a five year old's attempt at a Blasting Curse - if she could have even successfully cast it in the first place! But she broke my shield!"
"She is powerful," Harry agreed cautiously. "Very powerful."
"My point is: if this is how she is at five, what is she going to be like when she's our age? Or, hell, fifteen?" Ginny pressed.
"Probably terrifying," Harry said thoughtlessly. He winced at himself.
Ginny laughed. "I can see it. God help anyone who pisses her off, right?"
"Oh yeah," said Harry, giving a laugh of his own. "For sure."
After his talk with Ginny, Harry decided to finally bring his offer to Daisy.
He found her up in her room, entering after knocking, and getting an affirmative from her.
"Daisy, could we sit and talk for a bit?" Harry asked, indicating her bed upon which Daisy already sat.
Daisy looked up at him. She nodded, swinging her legs over the side and putting her hands in her lap. "Ok. About what?"
Harry seated himself next to her, smiling at her. "You know how you've been really wanting to get out of the house lately? Wanting to make friends?"
"Yes..."
"Well, when we were at the Burrow the other day, Mrs. Weasley told me about a place I could take you to do that. A place where...a lot of muggleborn kids and their families are living at, since the Ministry keeps trying to find them and hurt them."
"Like us?"
"Yeah. They're all in the same boat as us, Daisy. The Order is helping them all stay safe and happy - and Mrs. Weasley told me they even hold classes there with all the kids. So, if you...if you wanted to, you might even get to start going to a real school with other kids."
"Really?!"
"Maybe. We'll need to check it out first," Harry told her. "I don't know anything about the place, myself. Just what Mrs. Weasley told me. But...is it something you'd be interested in? With muggleborn kids, you wouldn't have to hide your magic, or anything like that. Kreacher can even come along. In fact, I'd prefer it if he did - even there."
Daisy's face lit up. "Yes! Where is it? Can we go today?!"
"I hoped you'd say that," Harry said, smiling. "Yes, I wanted to get us over there today - see what it's all about. Meet people first. The thing is, it's supposed to be a huge secret, Daisy. To keep everyone there safe. So we need to never say the name out loud if we can help it. Just like we never talk about where we live when we're outside."
"Ok!" Daisy said quickly. "I understand!"
"Okay...it's called Renita's Refuge. We'll take the Floo there. So if you want to go now, we can get a snack, and get ourselves ready? When we get there, we can look around, introduce ourselves - just for a first visit."
Daisy nodded excitedly. Then she froze. She frowned at him. "What about Sarah? Can I still keep seeing her? As long as she doesn't tell anybody about magic?"
"Of course you can," Harry said, not missing a beat.
"Ok, good! I really liked her," Daisy added, a smile on her lips. "She was fun and cute and had nice hair."
"Does she?" Harry said, amused.
"Yep, and I-" Daisy stopped herself abruptly. She narrowed her eyes at him. "What's so funny, daddy?"
"Nothing, sweetie. Nothing at all."
"I thought we never lied to each other, daddy," she retorted.
Harry sighed. "I'm just really glad you like her. It's nice to have friends."
"She's my only friend - for now!" Daisy went on, tossing her head.
"For now," Harry agreed.
"I'm going to have so many new friends after today!" Daisy continued exuberantly.
"I hope you do, too," Harry said honestly.
"I guess mummy isn't coming with us, is she?" Daisy said, her face troubled. "She left again."
Harry hesitated. He sighed. "She...needed some air for a while," he said, as honest as he could be without lying. "We- argued this morning. But...just- don't worry about it, okay?"
"But I am worried," Daisy replied. "She was mad at me last night! She acted all annoyed and-"
"That was really wrong of her," Harry interrupted firmly. "I'm sorry, Daisy. I'm the one who told her you wanted to see her - I told her to go up and check on you, but if I knew she was going to be that way toward you I wouldn't have! That's not okay, and I'm sorry. She wasn't mad at you, she was mad at me, and she took that to you. But it wasn't you. You didn't deserve it."
"Well don't make her say sorry to me - she'll just get annoyed again," Daisy said darkly.
"Daisy...your mother is just really- stressed lately and-"
"I don't want to talk to her when she's stressed then."
Harry sighed again. He hugged Daisy close. "I know. I don't really, either..."
Harry stepped out of the fireplace as soon as the world stopped spinning - finding himself in a baffling environment.
Open space, and grass.
He turned around as the fires roared again, and Daisy came stepping out of it.
They were in an expansive courtyard of sorts, surrounded by a high stone wall. The fireplace was just...sitting there in the open, attached to nothing. There was a pathway right to the front of a wide, large building that looked like a muggle school. It was brick, old and overgrown with plant-life. Like it had been abandoned years and years ago.
Of course, that couldn't be right - unless they had messed up the name somehow, and come out of the wrong fireplace...
"Is this it?" Daisy asked, inspecting the place critically.
"I'm not actually sure," Harry admitted, sheepish. "Mrs. Weasley didn't actually describe it to me..."
"Let's go knock!" Daisy said, starting forward.
"Daisy, hold on there," Harry said quickly, moving to keep up with her and grab her hand. He drew his wand with the other, and began to walk up the path to the front entrance.
Metal, peeling double doors with a fancy arch over them. Intricate flower patterns of dark metal, twisting around and between each other.
Harry climbed the steps. He hesitated before reaching out to knock firmly on the doors.
A minute passed before it began to creak open, both doors swinging inward.
The entry hall was a stark contrast to the outside of the building, immediately so: it was nice, white carpet, polished wooden furniture, smooth painted walls of a pleasant yellow, several tables and sofas put together, and a small fountain in the middle. There were nice plants in various sized pots. There was a hallway that led off to the left, one that went right, and one that went straight on ahead.
Standing in the doorway was a single figure. Tall and looming, swathed in a long black gown - a woman. A woman who seemed...
"Mr. Potter? I never would have expected to see you here. Although, it has been a long time..."
The woman's voice made it all click into place for Harry. "Professor Barbu?!" he blurted, staring.
She was as Harry remembered last seeing her: tall, deathly pale and thin, with long nails and eyes a crystal blue. She also looked every bit as...reserved and tired as she had been during Potions lessons in that sixth year, years ago now. A vampire under the energy-sapping, sick-inducing powers of the sunlight - probably with no good blood supply in a place like this, either.
But what was different about her (all the reasons why he hadn't recognized her immediately)…was just as striking as the familiarities: one of her ears was missing, all the hair on her head was gone, down the left side of her face was what looked like a massive, furrowed burn wound; up and down her arms were these little markings, surrounded by dozens of overlapping scars; her left bare foot was a ruined stump, as if it had been cut in half a few inches behind the toes; prominently down her throat were a littering of even more scars and burns, and even places that looked as if her flesh itself had just been carved out and lifted away at some point.
Standing out above all else, across the tops of her breasts, visible through the wide oval window in her gown's chest area, was the ugly burned imprint of words: "Sucks More Than Blood".
Daisy, from her very low vantage point, could not see the words (else Harry knew she damn well would have asked what they meant on the spot).
Lower than that, Harry saw there was a section of the gown cut out around the lower left ribs. A whole area of flesh near Barbu's lower ribs and her left hip was just gone, several inches deep, into her abdomen. Inside this missing area was what looked like a shaped, smooth, thick brick of polished wood. Harry thought it had to be replacing part of her hip, and her lower left rib or three as well.
This, combined with her missing half a foot, was giving Alina more than a bit of a lopsided stance.
"I'm not a professor anymore - you can call me Alina now - but I'm happy to still get to be a teacher..." Alina Barbu murmured out, with a small smile. "To everyone here at the Refuge."
"Alina," Harry agreed, focusing intently on her face. Her eyes. "If you'll call me Harry, then."
"Harry," she echoed. "What brings you here - and who is this?" she added, turning a much wider, warmer smile down on Daisy.
"The Refuge? So this is Renita's Refuge?" Harry replied.
Alina simply nodded.
"Well, err - this is Daisy. Daisy, this is Alina; she's one of my old teachers from Hogwarts. We're here because Molly Weasley told me that...well...I should bring Daisy here if she wanted to get the chance to socialize with other magical children? Without, you know...risking attention from Death Eaters and such."
"I see," Alina replied. "An excellent suggestion on her part - she and her husband come here often to help, and we're always glad to have new people around. No matter how long they stay for," she concluded. She paused. "You don't need a place here, do you?"
"No, no, we're just - visiting. We still have a safe...home elsewhere," Harry said carefully. "Believe me, we wouldn't want to take space from anyone else!"
"Wonderful. That's perfectly fine, then," Alina answered, with another nod.
Harry noticed that Daisy was staring Alina up and down much as Harry himself just had. He couldn't fault her for that. He'd be a hypocrite to tell her not to. All the same... "Daisy - we shouldn't be rude."
Daisy blinked. She glanced up at him, then looked to Alina's face in imitation of him again. "I'm sorry," she told Alina clearly. "Staring is rude."
"It's fine," Alina spoke lightly. "Everyone does that at first. I don't mind it. You're wondering how I got hurt now, aren't you?"
"Yes," Daisy admitted bluntly. "But it'd be rude to ask!" she added quickly, looking to Harry for deliberate reassurance - or praise, more likely.
"It would be - but if she's alright with it..." Harry replied cautiously.
"A lot of people out there don't like vampires," Alina said softly. "So I had to come and live here to not get bothered anymore."
"Sorry you got hurt a whole bunch," Daisy said earnestly. "Was it Death Eaters?" she added, her face darkening severely. Narrowed eyes, frowning lips - and curled little fists at her sides, Harry noted. It was anger. No, rage. Rage, and outrage again. But it was righteous and true, and Harry was proud of her for that.
Alina eyed her. She glanced to Harry, getting a nod before answering. "Yes. Thank you, Daisy. That's very kind of you."
"Somebody should make them all hurt for once!" Daisy burst out furiously. "They hurt you, they hurt Auntie Ginny! They need to hurt too! They need to die!"
Harry dropped to a knee quickly, taking Daisy's arms and pulling her close. "Daisy - the Order does that. But that's not the point. The point is to keep people safe, to save them. Not to hurt Death Eaters."
"Why do they get to keep doing stuff like this?!" Daisy cried. Very literally; she was blinking tears, she was shaking in Harry's arms. "They should all just die, we should make them die - I want to make them all die already! I- I want- I mean it- I-"
"Okay, Daisy, come here, come on...calm down, sweetie..." Harry pulled her in tight, holding her head and stroking at her hair as she violently shivered and cried into his chest. "It's g-good that you feel this way about the people they hurt - it's so good of you - but you need to...to try not to..."
How could he word it? How could he put it, say it to her?
Words failed him, for once.
He didn't know how to explain it to her. About her own feelings, about...
Well, maybe now wasn't the best time, anyway.
They were meant to be here for fun, for comfort - for her.
Harry just held her, focusing on soothing her as best he knew how.
When she'd calmed, regained herself, she remembered on her own why she was even here. She wiped at her eyes and nose with the tissues Harry conjured for her and smoothed out her hair again, drawing herself up in that way she had. Her cheeks were flushed with embarrassment, but her eyes blazed. "Who can I play with here?" she asked Alina, gazing up at the woman.
"Why don't we find out for you?" Alina replied gently. "I'm sure we'll find someone who would be happy to."
Daisy nodded and pulled away from Harry, already moving to follow Alina down the left hand corridor.
Harry hurried after them, falling in next to his daughter and taking her hand again.
She glanced up at him and gave a smile, and squeezed his hand tightly. Nervousness crossed her face.
A very real, specific fear, Harry realized. Along with her general fear of failure.
He squeezed her hand back, trying to give her his best reassuring look.
Alina led them down the hallway, lined with windows on the left that looked out on the brick walled courtyard. She opened a door on the right. and stepped through.
It was an immediate change.
Harry almost thought they'd somehow gone outside again.
It was an expansive garden, or park area. Mindboggling in its size! It was all grass and soft dirt. A few trees, bushes, with fruits on them. There were flower patches, tables and chairs. Whole muggle playground sets, an area for sports games to the side, and in the middle there was a huge round pond of crystal water that looked like it could have qualified as a mini lake, more like.
There was didn't seem to be a ceiling at all, far above, letting in sun and a breeze of air to circulate.
And then there were, of course, the people.
Dozens. Families, partners, some pairs and singles. And the abundance of kids, of all sizes and shapes. Happy, whole and healthy families, in a place of safe haven.
But there was also the sight of plenty of children here that made Harry's heart ache: a white-haired pale girl without legs or arms was seated in a floating chair, that she seemed able to manipulate by touching a smooth glass dome on the right arm (the magical equivalent to a wheelchair, then?); there was a sickly-white boy under a tree with an eye gone and half his face mutilated beyond recognition - a single yellow eye stared out at the world (a vampire's eye?); a dark skinned girl had missing fingers and what looked like a complete, metallic prosthetic jaw, a thick green scarf wrapped around her neck just beneath it to completely hide her neck.
A girl in the pond was drifting on her backside. Most of the hair on her head was gone, save for a patch on the right that hung down the side in a long, styled lock - as fashionable as it could be. Across her stomach were the letters "B.W." with a symbol of a serpent beneath them. It looked similar to what Alina had on her person - a burning brand.
Harry didn't ever want to know what those letters stood for.
Harry had known - of course he had - that a world ruled by Voldemort would not be kind to muggleborns. He had even heard plenty of horrific tales told by the Order members, from time to time. But that was nothing compared to experiencing it firsthand. Seeing it firsthand. He found himself feeling a powerful new surge of respect for the likes of Ginny, and Astoria, and Ron and Hermione. For all the good they did - and the things they had to witness to do it.
The whole Order - this was what they were fighting for.
These were the people they were helping to save.
