Chapter 171 – A Feeling…

Prime P.O.V

It was a heaviness.

A cold weight in the pit of my tanks and an oppressive, cloying feeling that wrapped itself about my spark.

/Something was wrong!/.

I stood to my pedes and began to pace about my makeshift personal quarters here on Luke Air Force Base. We had been granted temporary permission to base ourselves here for the duration of ''the mission''. /Our welcome had been overstayed by close to a fortnight now!/. I was on edge, had been ever since Phoenix suggested her plan, but now – it was as though I was about to topple over the precipice into the awaiting abyss below.

Walking over to the far side of our room, I leant my helm against the cool surface of the wall. Placing both servos above my head, I tried to channel the agitation and worry that accosted my spark, out and into the wall before me. /Too long. She has been gone too long!/. I closed my optics and pressed my helm harder against the surface. /A decacycle longer than anticipated, longer than planned for/. I pushed off from the wall with a low growl. ''Why?'' I queried the silence that seemed to mock me, reminding me that I was here, and she was not.

Striding over to my berth, I sat down heavily on the edge. Bringing my servos up under my chin, I clasped them together, propping my helm up as I played out various scenarios in my processor. ''What could have happened to you, my Phoenix? What IS happening to you?'' The trouble was, I just did not know! To keep her safe and maintain her cover for as long as possible, we had disabled her ability to both make and receive comms to us. Something that had eaten away at my resolve as the days dragged by. When Phoenix had chosen to exile herself on Wrangel Island all those years ago, Rachet was at least able to keep in touch with her and assure me she was safe. Now, for her safety, none of us knew her status. None of us knew how she fared. I did not know if she was safe. With each passing day another layer of my sanity was torn away as the unknown began to terrify me in a way it never had before.

I rocked forward on the edge of the berth in an effort to comfort myself. Phoenix had come up with the clever idea of having a few data pads stowed in her subspace to leave behind messages every now and then if it was necessary or safe to do so. I felt a fond smile tug at the corners of my dermas as Phoenix's words suddenly came flooding back to me. /''Hey, worked for Hansel and Gretel Prime! No reason why it can't work for little ol' me, especially seeing as I'll be using data pads not bloody breadcrumbs!''/. My servo involuntarily found its way to my spark, and I clutched at my chest as a dull ache set in. /Primus how I missed her!/.

I groaned my frustration and fear out loud in the privacy of this space. Here, behind these closed doors, I could drop the mantel of Prime for a few precious moments and simply be. I could take the opportunity to give in to my fears and my worries without prying optics possibly judging me, without feeling like I was letting everyone down.

I sighed out loud as I rose from the berth and began to pace agitatedly again. I had taken to almost hiding in here for joors at a time these past few days as I felt like a powder keg, my emotions on the verge of exploding. Thankfully, millennia of practice keeping my feelings in check have prevented that from happening – /yet!/. However, as the days slipped by and there was no sign of my Phoenix, that hold, that control, was slipping. Slowly but surely, I could feel myself losing the battle to keep it together.

''Something that is seemingly only a matter of time given my brave scout's last communique regarding Phoenix!'' I muttered to silence that surrounded me. Early this morning, Bumblebee had made an urgent comm indicating Phoenix had initiated the override protocol and contacted him directly to set up a meeting as she had some urgent information to relay to him. The fact she did that, and our deadline for extraction had come and gone, had concerned me greatly and I had listened intently to all my brave scout had to say about their meeting.

I continued to pace about the room as I replayed in my processor all Phoenix had told Bumblebee and I sighed out loud once again. ''It would seem Phoenix had kept her promise and indeed somehow managed to obtain vital information on both Unicron and Megatron''. Despite the smile that formed on my dermas, that uneasy feeling about my spark remained.

Leaning one arm against a wall, I sifted through the conversation again, trying to piece it all together and work out what to do next and perhaps, why Phoenix was still with the Decepticons. The information had been both deeply troubling and helpful. Thanks to Phoenix and Bumblebee's bravery and sacrifice, we now knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the great darkness and terrible foe we were going to face was indeed Unicron. We now knew that the horns were indeed activated because of the Matrix being used, /just as Phoenix had predicted/, and that they were also going to help transport him closer to this planet from wherever it was he currently existed.

A coil of fear wrapped itself about my spark, threatening to consume the final shreds of resolve that burned within me. Perhaps the most concerning, yet important, pieces of information Bumblebee relayed back to us from Phoenix, were that we now had a rough timeframe in which to expect Unicron's arrival and Megatron had Phoenix searching for an ancient weapon. ''Two Earth months! We have less than two lunar cycles before the Chaos Bringer arrives!''. My spark skipped a pulse at the thought. We were not ready, not in the least. I gave a derisive snort. ''How could you ever be ready for a being such as Unicron?''

I closed my optics tightly as the thought of all the lives, all the sparks we were about to loose, overwhelmed me. /Please Primus! Help us!/. Though it was likely useless, I offered my silent prayer up to the deity that had brought Phoenix and I together. We were approaching our darkest hour. /Surely, he would not abandon us now?/. I pushed my helm harder against the wall, vaguely concerned I may be leaving a dent in the frame. The other issue that held great concern for me was this ancient weapon Megatron had Phoenix searching for. A weapon of great power and mysticism. One I had only read about. /The Star Saber!/. He had ascertained that Phoenix was a Prime and he intended to use her to wield it against Unicron to help him end Unicron's control over him. Control Unicron had gained due to Megatron using large amounts of Dark Energon. A low, threatening growl rumbled through my body at the thought of him using my Phoenix for anything! /She is MINE!/.

Clenching my fist, I hovered it above the wall, fighting the urge to send it flying. Yet, instead, I felt myself ex-vent deeply in a bid to calm myself as I replayed the final piece of information Phoenix had imparted to Bumblebee before she disappeared. ''The piece of the puzzle that worries me the most!'' I lowered my helm to the cool surface once more, seeking a reprieve. Unicron knew Phoenix existed and for some reason, he saw her as a weakness. He did not want her to fight against him! /Truth be told, neither did I!/.

I clenched my servos by my sides and closed my optics for a moment as I clung to the small shred of hope in this kernel of knowledge. Unicron had tasked Megatron with killing both Phoenix and I before his arrival, agreeing to spare Megatron if he did. Apparently, Phoenix had challenged Megatron on this, calling him a fool if he believed the God of Chaos would keep his promise. Once again, a small, fond smile spread cautiously across my dermas, despite the torment that raged inside of me, at the image of Phoenix speaking to Megatron in such a way. /So stubborn, so utterly stubborn was my Phoenix/, and I loved her for it!

Turning about, I leant my back up against the wall, propping one pede against it and folding my arms across my chest. I gently tapped my helm against the wall as I tried to dissipate the nervous energy within me. What I desperately wanted to hope was that Megatron's desire to be free, that his pride in being slave to no one, far outweighed his fear of retribution and torment at the hands of a merciless God hellbent on oblivion. ''That should her cover be blown; he would keep Phoenix alive for that reason alone, that she was his salvation.'' /I HOPE!/.

I growled out loud and pushed off from the wall, heading over to the energon dispenser to procure some refreshment. It was perhaps one of the few privileges I had allowed myself to claim as Prime here. /When was the last time I had some energon?/. As the tasteless liquid tracked down my glossa and spread throughout my systems, I gave a rather undignified snort and a smile tugged at the corner of my dermas. /I'm surprised Rachet hasn't threatened me with a wrench, forcing me to imbibe the nourishing yet wholly tasteless fluid/.

The smile faded as I realised, he was probably just as worried about Phoenix's well-being as I was, being one of her dearest friends. I grunted out loud as I downed the remainder of the drink. /Everyone was worried about her; they knew how badly things could end up IF she was found out/. I clutched the empty cube in my servo. /Perhaps she HAS been found out! Perhaps that is why she has been detained so long, perhaps Megatron…./.

Physically shaking my helm to banish the terrifying thought, I snarled out loud and threw the cube against the wall, taking some delight in watching it shatter and fall to the ground. My chest rose and fell as I cycled air deeply through my intakes, fighting the overwhelming feeling of helplessness and guilt that assailed me. As I stared blankly at the shards laying on the ground, I could not help but draw parallels with how I felt. /Any moment now, I feel as though my spark will end up like that cube, shattered into a million pieces when I learn…./.

::Prime, it's Jazz, acknowledge:: My 2IC's voice thankfully derailed my dark thoughts.

::What is it Jazz?:: I barked down the comm, dispensing with pleasantries. I was in no mood.

::I ah… I thought ya should know we might have a situation brewin' here:: I could hear the concern and indecision in my 2IC's voice and instantly my thoughts flashed to Phoenix.

/NO! Please Primus, let her be okay!/ ::What situation? What is wrong Jazz. Is it Phoenix, has she contacted Bumblebee again?:: I didn't care if I allowed some panic and fear to leech into my words. Phoenix was not just a soldier under my command, she was the other half of my spark, my light. Without her….

::That's tha thing Prime. We can't get holda ''Bee. Not since he contacted us early this mornin' with all that intel Phoenix gave him::

I felt my spark constrict tightly and a wave of guilt washed over me as I realised, I had been so focused on Phoenix's well-being, I had neglected that of my brave scout's! /His life is on the line too!/. ::How recently have you tried to patch through to him and what were Bumblebee's last known coordinates? Send them to me NOW!:: I began to stride towards the door, the mantel of Prime settling about my shoulders once again. All my petty insecurities and worries disappeared, replaced with an anger and a resolute decision. /The time for waiting is over! I'm coming for you both!/.

::Ironhide tried ta reach him via comm just now Prime ta check if he'd heard anythin' more on Phoenix, an' several times before that, as have I. I'm sendin' ya 'Bee's last known coordinates now:: There was an internal ping as my GPS received the information.

I punched the codes into the panel by the door far harsher than necessary. Exploding through the doors, I almost knocked them off their runners. ::Jazz I am on my way to the Communications Hanger. Have all able bodied Autobots assemble immediately and notify Lennox of the situation and that the final failsafe is about to be put into motion:: My long strides ate up the ground as I made my way towards the exit.::Tell Lennox to stand by with transport to get us to Ellington Airport, Houston on the double!:: We did not have 17 hours to spare to drive to where we needed to get to, we needed to be there NOW!

::Affirmative Prime! Onta it now:: there was a slight pause before his voice continued, resolute yet filled with sympathy. ::Don't worry Prime, it'll be okay. We'll get 'em both back safe an' sound::

I faltered in my strides as I exited the building. I did not trust myself to reply so I simply ended the communique. /Jazz'll understand/. Transforming into my vehicle mode, I tore off across the tarmac towards the Communications Hanger. My spark was in turmoil as my processor played out various scenarios, each one grimmer than the last.

As I sped towards my destination, I felt a quiet rage unlike any I have ever known building within me. A feral, dark thing that began to consume me. For millennia Megatron berated me for being too soft, too compassionate, too forgiving. He accused me of prolonging the war because I was not decisive or violent enough to do what was necessary. I felt my dermas press tightly in a thin line and a snarl echoed through me. /If you have hurt my young, loyal scout or if you have made my Phoenix suffer in any way. If you have harmed her – or abused her - you will finally get what you have longed to see Megatron. A Prime that is not bound by mercy or compassion. A Prime that will decisively and violently seek your spark and the spark of every Decepticon in retribution!/.

As the Communications Hanger loomed before me and I saw the gathering Autobots, a sneer formed on my dermas. I was heading down a dangerous path. /If he takes my light away from me, he will unleash the darkness within/. I should have been terrified, I should have been concerned, I should have been ashamed of these thoughts and feelings as they clawed at me, seeking release from their tightly guarded prison.

But I did not care.

''Be careful what you wish for Megatron. I'm coming...for YOU!''