"Do you wanna talk about it?"

Pausing mid-step, having just exited her small ensuite, she glanced his way. Almost awkwardly, Bucky was perched on the end of her bed – hands wringing before him as he looked at her closely. "No," came her quick reply, tone shutting him out as much as the word did. Watching his eyes dart down to his hands, she heaved in a breath and corrected herself; "not yet."

He looked back up to her but she couldn't meet his eyes. Taking a few steps forward, bare-feet making little sound, she maintained her gaze at the view beyond the window. The blinds pulled hastily over the window allowed some gaps of sunlight to stream through, the sway of the leaves outside just visible between these slits. Even these peaceful slatted views could not distract her mind from her previous hallucinations.

Shifting fabric jolted her mind from its feared reverie. Darting eyes found Bucky standing and moving towards her. She let her eyes drop shut as he framed her face with a hand, his other smoothed over her hair before dropping to pull her closer. Finally finding an even breath in this embrace, she pulled her own arms around him.

Forehead resting against his chest, she mumbled an admission into his shirt. "It's like I'm back there." A squeeze of his hand against her waist was the only evidence he had heard her. "Every-time I close my eyes, I can see it." She doubted he understood the specifics of her words, but it was clear he knew how it felt to be haunted. "I keep checking over myself, making sure he hasn't-" her voice broke, "hasn't…" she couldn't finish before the tears overtook her voice.

The last time she had dealt with this, tears had felt like failure. She had held them back, pushed them away and drowned them in anger and violence. These tears, therefore, felt cathartic in a monumental sense.

When the tears finally subsided, she pushed away from him to wipe them away. His fingertips beat her to it, wiping them away with a softness she would not have allowed herself. "I'm tired," she told him, lamely. It felt silly to say that and nothing else after crying on him for multiple minutes, but he laughed alongside her broken chuckle.

"Okay," he nodded, thumbs running over her arms, "you wanna try these?"

Looking at the little vial in his hand, she turned over the question in her mind. "What do they do, sorry? I… wasn't paying attention back there."

The strange medicine, despite its generally off-putting taste, had helped. To begin with at least.

Eventually, the thoughts and fears crept back in. Escalating nightmares overtook her until she started awake with a choked gasp. "Hey," a groggy voice sounded beside her, a hand upon her arm, "you're okay."

Logic catching up with her, she looked to him; the image of him obscured by the hair that had fallen before her eyes. Swiping the hair away, she leant into him immediately. How had she gotten through this before? How had she ever done this without him?

She had been treading water for so long and, in truth, she had never truly dealt with anything. It seemed clear now that immortality had preserved her despite her best efforts of a slow self-destruction, a fact she was now glad for. She had dealt with nothing, relying on it being far enough in her past that she could ignore it entirely.

Her hands felt over her stomach once more, a final wave of relief washing over her as she realised the skin had not been torn into.

"What…" he started, watching her hands but trailing off when her gaze met his, "what are you looking for?"

She looked to her lap. She whispered the words "I don't talk about this."

A pause, he whispered back "you don't have to."

Resting her head on his shoulder, ensuring she wouldn't have to look at him but still able to melt into his comfort, she ground out the words. "He – Killebrewe – he would…" a breath blew past her lips as she clutched his hand, "he would operate on me, a lot, but I was – I was always awake."

Cautiously, he broached the silence that permeated then. "What did he do?"

"I don't know," she answered, "sometimes I think that's the worst part. I don't even know what he did."

He tightened his hold on her and she wrapped herself around him, clinging to comfort.

"We'll need to operate."

Ever since those words had been spoken to her Lizzy had heard them reverberating in her mind near constantly.

There was something inside her. Killebrewe had put something inside her to cause this fear; a method of control over her that she had not been aware of. Shuri couldn't tell her why it had started to work. She had given her a theory; physical trauma, likely her death, had disrupted this device just enough to kick it into overdrive.

Lizzy wanted it gone, felt as though she wanted to claw it out of her own stomach, but the idea of operating made her skin crawl. And yet, she had managed to follow all of Shuri's instructions.

She hadn't eaten or drunk anything for hours on end. She had let a team of strangers take measurements of her blood pressure, her heart rate, and whatever else. And she had even let them send her to sleep.

The whole process, it turned out, had not been what she had expected.

Her pain had been kept to an absolute minimum. The surgery had been largely non-invasive, described by Shuri herself as key-hole. She had been talked through every aspect of the event and had been entirely clear on what would happen. It seemed in almost direct contrast with her previous, haunting, memories of what surgery could be like.

Now, two weeks later in the lab with Shuri, she felt nothing but relief.

How are you feeling?" Unlike any doctor or scientist Lizzy had encountered before, Shuri held an almost childlike interest in the answer. With one knee pulled up to her chest as she lounged on the pristine white seats of the lab, she watched Lizzy with a more friendly intrigue than she had become used to.

"I-" Lizzy paused to take stock of her body. "I feel okay?"

Laughing at her uncertainty, Shuri tilted her head. "You aren't sure?"

"I don't know." Lizzy looked down at herself. "I thought you were supposed to feel like shit after surgery?"

Shrugging, Shuri glanced at the tablet in her hands. "Well, it was only keyhole surgery. With your healing factor your body's bounced right back."

Lips twisting, Lizzy looked sheepishly up to the girl. "Sorry I was so…" she struggled to find the right word, "difficult." Memories of her snapping and cursing at the girl before her seemed distant, like a half remembered dream. She was sure, however, that Shuri remembered it all perfectly.

"Well, that is one way to put it." Shuri teased lightly with a laugh.

Sinking into herself, still guilty despite her seemingly careless attitude, Lizzy murmured another "sorry."

"Don't worry about it," she told her, a wave of her hand dismissing the apology entirely. "At least we could help you, right? You've not had any episodes since right?"

Lizzy felt like she had slept more in the two weeks since her surgery than she had in the last year. "No, nothing – it's… thank you."

"Good," rooting through her pockets suddenly, she continued quickly. "I was wondering actually," she stopped short as she pulled the miniscule black chip from her pocket, "would you mind if I kept this? I… wanna figure out how it works."

Looking at the tiny object, the offending article that had caused her so much distress, Lizzy shrugged. "I don't want it." Watching Shuri replace the object with definite excitement shining in her eyes, Lizzy felt begrudging curiosity bubble to the surface. "You don't have any theories about it yet?"

Moving off to the side, lightly placing her tablet down, she perched on a high counter across from Lizzy. "Well, I know it encouraged your body to create stress and fear hormones… somehow." Looking off to the right, mind likely conjuring theories as Lizzy watched dumbly. "There's definitely more to it but it's weird…" Lizzy didn't push her, recognising that the gears were still turning in her mind. Pointing a finger at Lizzy, she looked back and continued. "It was definitely designed to be controlled remotely," somehow that made Lizzy feel sick.

It was awful, questioning how much of her time with Killebrewe had even been real. She felt crazy, unable to trust her own memories. How much was merely a fever dream he had created with nothing more than a tiny chip planted within her? Her fear merely another experiment for him to wonder over. "But… something must have happened to make it go haywire like that."

Nodding, standing to leave as her fingertips started to pinch her wrists, she asked a final question. "Any idea what?"

"Body trauma, I guess," she told her with a shrug, dropping down from the counter to show her from the lab. "Something probably damaged it."

Trying to push spiralling thoughts to the side, she exited the lab. Lingering in the doorway for a moment, she looked back. "Thank you, Shuri, really."

Waving a hand in front of her with a scoff, she replied. "It was nothing."

The walk back to her room was meandering. The air, much like her mind, was settled. The warmth of the late evening was salved perfectly by the sweet breeze softly ruffling her hair. An amber light of sunset bathed the world around her with a serene aura, a comforting glow. Lizzy allowed herself to linger in this quietness, this serenity. There was a question, relegated to the very back of her mind for now, of how long this could last. Would it be broken by some, yet unknown, external force? Or would it be broken by her?

Lizzy had not settled into quietness for some time. Finding a fight every time serenity threatened the angry, antsy feeling in her bones. Could she do it now?

"Something on your mind?"

Jumping a foot in the air, she almost wrenched her neck looking to the source of her surprise. "Stevie? Jeez, you trying to kill me?"

He chuckled at her. "I did say your name a couple times."

Furrowing her brow, she looked over him for signs of unlikely deceit. "Really?"

Nodding, concern yet again softened his gaze. "Did everything go okay?"

Smiling, albeit sleepily, she shrugged. "Yeah, sorry, just lost in thought I guess." Shaking off the uncertainty, she let her eyes wander across the sunset. "You heading out?"

Humming his assent as he moved to stand beside her, he looked over the horizon with a sigh. "I'm meeting with T'Challa." Sending a sidelong look to her, he continued. "I think I'm gonna try and catch up with the others."

Crossing her arms she looked down at her feet. "When are you leaving?"

"A few days, maybe."

Nodding to herself, she kicked at the dusty ground. "You want me to come?"

"You want to?" He asked, a wry smile.

Eyes darting to the building behind him, she scoffed and shook her head. "Guess not." Moving forward to place a hand upon his arm, she tilted her head. "I'll be there if you need me."

Gesturing vaguely to the building behind him, Steve chuckled. "Bucky's pacing a hole in the floor waiting for you," she smiled at that, "maybe head up there?"

Chuckling, she assented and moved past him with a wave. "Already on my way."

Ambling through the halls of their temporary accommodation, she paused at every window she passed. With each level she ascended the view from the windows became increasingly breath-taking. The sun seemed hesitant to dip beneath the horizon, still hanging low in the sky, bathing the greenery with honeyed light.

She made her way to her room, assuming Bucky would wait for her there, but instead found him loitering in one of the large empty atriums. He didn't notice her right away, legs slung over a spare chair as he looked through the large window.

This building was strange; so empty. It was built with the purpose of opening Wakanda to the world, a concept that never seemed to come to fruition. These buildings, therefore, had an eerie emptiness about them. Like it was the end of the world and they were the only people left alive.

"Lizzy," turning to face Bucky, with a smile, she immediately moved towards him.

Reaching him, she smoothed a hand through his hair. "You waiting for me?"

Smirking, but saying nothing, he tugged her forwards. Stumbling to him, Lizzy let him kiss her. "I guess so," she murmured wryly against him.

Giving a laugh he let her go and gestured to the chair beside him. Immediately, she relaxed into it using power to drag another chair closer to become her footrest. "How was that?"

"Well," she sighed, "she's 'released' me from her care so…" shrugging, she trailed off.

Gripping the underside of her chair he pulled her closer, the chair scraping loudly against the floor as he did so. Her laughter at this pulled a smirk from him, but he spoke as though nothing had happened. "She know what caused it?"

Settling into his side, she looped an arm through his as she rested her head upon his shoulder. Why did he insist on ruining their few quiet moments together with questions she didn't like? "The chip probably got damaged through some kinda bodily trauma." Eyes falling shut, she continued through a yawn. "She thinks so anyway."

Grumbling as he shifted below her, she lifted her head waiting for him to settle. Instead of becoming still he spoke, hands wringing before him. "That's probably my fault."

She sat up entirely now, watching him. "How?" She scoffed out. The idea that he could take the blame for this, of all things, was inherently ridiculous but he seemed determined to.

"Well," Bucky cleared his throat awkwardly, "after what I did…" vaguely he gestured over her with his hands.

Still confused she watched his eyes dart to her stomach. Understanding hit her. Trying for a light-hearted laugh, she cupped his cheek with a smile. "Y'know," she whispered conspiratorially, "I was kinda thinking it happened when I died that one time?"

Much to Lizzy's relief, he smirked. "Good point."

"Now sit still," she ordered. Resting back against him, she let herself slip lower on the chair. Disappointingly, he still felt awkward beside her - not sinking into her warmth as she would have liked. Huffing, she sat up yet again and stared him down.

Looking back at her with wide eyes, a smirk tugging at his lips, he quirked a brow. "What?"

"What is it?" He shook his head, hands thrown up defensively, and went to reply. Cutting him off, hoping to focus this conversation more quickly, she raised her eyebrows. "I know you well enough, don't you think?"

Giving up on evasion, he nodded and let his shoulders drop in defeat. Looking down to his still wringing hands, he murmured the words; "Steve's leaving."

Assessing his features for any further clues, Lizzy nodded slowly. "He'll be okay," she reassured.

He wrestled with himself for a moment longer before locking eyes with her. "Are you going with him?"

Tone solemn, she rubbed tiredly at her eyes as she responded. "You really think I'd leave you now? After I begged you to stay?"

A breath collapsed from him but he still asked for clarification, pulling her hands from her face. "So you're staying?"

"Yeah, of course." She stressed. "I told him I'd help out if he really needed me but… I wanna be with you."

Grinning, Bucky visibly relaxed. Eyes roaming over her, his grin dropped to a smirk, "Oh yeah?"

Rolling her eyes at his sudden shift into flirtation, taking it as a sure sign of how well she had relaxed him, she settled a hand on his chest as she stood. "I might need some more convincing though," she murmured into his ear.

His body followed after hers, like a planet caught in her orbit, and his hands smoothed over her hips. "I can do that."

Letting him tug her into his lap, feeling a thrill at the sudden friction, she hummed into his next kiss. "I bet."

Two Months Later

It was easy to forget just how warm this place could be. Lizzy had spent the past two weeks shivering in the northern reaches of Finland as she attempted to cover the tracks of Steve's band of rebels. They had maintained a low profile for the most part but occasionally she would hear whispers. Lizzy kept in contact with Steve as often as she could; agreeing to meet him on sparse occasions, helping to keep the group hidden. Oftentimes, however, she wouldn't see him at all. Instead travelling to a location they had just abandoned to deal with anyone who came sniffing around their trail.

Despite the remoteness of their last location, Finland had been no exception to the multiple groups attempting to capture the fugitives. As much as she could have, and desperately wanted to, finish with these people as quickly as possible, she was forced to take her time. Were she to make a mess, their trail would become even more obvious.

So here, two weeks later, she was returning to Wakanda.

She hadn't bothered changing clothes before bounding off to find Bucky. Her excitement had chased away logic but now, wilting beneath the blazing sun, she was filled with regret. It was hard to dwell on this regret, however, when she locked eyes on him.

His back was to her and she was almost tempted to run and jump on him. Doubting that his instincts would appreciate such a surprise assault, she settled for calling his name first. Immediately, he whirled around looking for her.

A broad smile broke over his features when he spotted her and Lizzy rushed to him. Flinging her arms around him she giggled as he lifted and spun her. "You're back," he pointed out, pointlessly.

Beaming down at him, she nodded gleefully. "I missed you."

"I can see that," Bucky laughed. "Where were you this time?"

Pouting as he set her back on her feet, she bounced past him and into their hut. Her answering words were muffled as she struggled to peel off her shirt. "Finland – so fucking cold." Fumbling with the shirt Lizzy stumbled over her own feet with a laugh. "Oh, thanks," she murmured as he took hold of the hem and freed her.

"Anytime," the word was paired with a hand clutching her waist, pulling her in. "I missed you too."

Using his previous words against him, she shrugged as her fingertips scattered over his shoulders. "I can see that." Locking her hands behind his neck, she leant into him even as she felt far too warm. "How are things here?" In an attempt to enunciate the specificity of her question, she brought a hand up to his head – fingertips working through his hair.

Hands squeezing her waist slightly, Bucky sighed into her ruminations. "Getting there," he told her quietly, "it's just… hard to take that last step."

Nodding, she moved from his arms with a sigh. "I told you I can help-" he tried to cut her off, mouth working as he dropped to sit on the bed, but she rallied onwards. "I can be there." She reiterated again.

She listened to the deep breaths he pulled in as she roamed the room in search of more sensible clothes. Changing her shirt cooled her, but the oppressive warmth still pressed in.

Eventually, he rebutted her with a collectedness he had clearly fought for. "I don't want you anywhere near that," he stressed as she shimmied into a pair of denim shorts, "I don't want you to get hurt."

She would never win this fight. There were countless arguments she could make; she was one of the most powerful beings in the world, and, more importantly, there was recent evidence that she could bring him back. In his eyes, these arguments could never outweigh the risk of her getting hurt. Continuing to argue with him would do nothing but stress him further.

Sighing, yet relenting, she moved to stand before him. Tilting his chin until his eyes found hers, she smiled. "Okay."

The harsh buzzing of her phone against the wonky side table pulled them grudgingly from their moment.

Dismissing it with a wave of her hand, she stepped back to allow him stand. "They'll call back if it's important."

As the buzzing stopped Bucky moved to peer from the doorway. "So, it's your first day back," he turned to her with a smirk, "what are we doing?"

Grinning, she bounced over to him to grab his hand between both of hers. "Well, it's too hot to do what I really wanna do," she told him with a wink, earning herself a laugh. Resting her chin on his shoulder, she moved her gaze over the shimmering sunset. "Let's go for a walk?" She suggested, "we can visit the sheep!"

Pulling her from the doorway, he laughed. "How many times, doll? They're goats."

Tutting dramatically, she pulled back on his arm with an exaggerated pinched brow. "They're the same thing."

Rolling his eyes, he tugged her into moving once more, but his verbal response was cut short. Her phone was buzzing once more, barely a minute after the first call. They both seemed to deflate, a long sigh punctuating the calm air, as they shared a heavy gaze.

Something had happened.

Hey!

Little bit of a filler chapter here but we're getting into IW which is exciting. I love writing this story so thank you to everyone who is still reading, reviewing, following, and favoriting.

You may have noticed the first chapter has been edited to bring it up to scratch with my current level - mostly so I don't cringe when I reread it - and I'm working through the rest.

Hope you're all doing great!

Until next time, lotsoflava.

(Okay I updated this because I felt it was missing something at the beginning)