CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
(BPOV)
I didn't want to believe what Jacob had just told me. I wanted to pretend that it wasn't real, that all of it was somehow just a terrible nightmare I'd eventually wake up from as if it had never been.
"Bells, honey, say something. You've been silent for minutes now." Jake hedged, his pleading gaze reaching mine as we stood by the front door, mindful to be careful with our noise level for Clarissa and the twins sake.
"I don't know what to say. I don't have words." I truthfully told him, my emotion still evident in my quavering voice.
"What's happening to Clarissa, it's not your fault. It's who she is and it would have happened eventually, Bella."
"-but not before she's even eight." I half cried. "Sixteen- seventeen- maybe...- not now."
"I need you to trust me, Bella. Trust what I'm telling you to be true and trust whatever comes next."
I lifted my head at the nervousness and dread I caught in his rich baritone and my insides shook from the look he wore.
"There's more isn't there? More to this whole thing with Demetri and the new Volturi? What haven't you told me?"
He motioned for me to sit with him on our porch swing and I did so wearily.
"We lost a lot years ago by keeping things from each other. We both did and I swore to myself I'd never go back to that again, and with all we've endured as of lately, with losing the baby and forgiving each other, working through things, I'm not gonna lose the ground we've made by only telling you half truths, so here it goes, Bells." He sighed in truth, getting on his knees in front of me and lacing our fingers together. "Demetri is skilled. His senses alone are lethal. He has years and years of experience and according to Edward, his abilities are unparalleled. He can track people through the tenors of their minds. He's been studying us- the pack-... who we are- our history. He knows too much, Bells. He's a huge threat to us."
My hands shook as he tightened his hold on them and leaned in closer to finish.
"As much faith as I have in us as a pack- even as Alpha- something tells me that Demetri won't stop till he gets what he wants. What his end mission is."
"Me." I voiced aloud, noting the way Jacobs gaze darkened at this.
"He'll come for you. I have no doubt. He'll try and I'll be right here waiting for him when he does."
"Jake-..."
"I won't let him near you, Bella. I promise you."
"Tell me what I can do to help? There has to be something? Anything?"
Jacob closed his eyes and swallowed hard before meeting my worried gaze again and the sinking feeling in my stomach got worse.
"You can do something. You can promise me something?"
"Anything." I readily agreed.
"Promise me that if we lose this fight and Demetri gets through us, gets through our defense, that you'll trust me enough to let me do whatever it is I have to in order to keep you safe? Please, Bella? No matter what that might end up being?"
I stared into his eyes and saw the determination there and it made me reach for him, my arms wrapping around his neck with my reply.
"I trust you. I do." I tearfully admitted.
"No matter what?"
"No matter what." I sincerely stated.
"I'm gonna need you to hold true to your word on this for me, honey. All the way to the end."
I felt utterly numb as the hours passed and Clarissa's fever only got worse with every passing one. When the dawn of another day finally broke, Gentry came running inside the house, his widened eyes of concern going to Clarissa as she stirred in Jacobs arms on the couch.
"Jake, bro why didn't you tell me she was burning up like this!? How long has it been going on?"
"Hours now." Jacob replied. "I didn't call you here because there's nothing you can do. We have to wait it out."
Gentry's face paled at this when he leaned down and touched Clarissa's warm cheek.
"Shit, Jake. She's giving off heat just like we do. I'm calling Billy! There has to be something he can do! Reach out to the elders or-"
"No!"
"We need to-" Gentry defended.
"Don't call dad and get him all stressed over this, Gentry. You and I both know that isn't good for him right now. So, please don't. Her fever is holding steady where it's at. When it goes up again, I'll know how close she is to phasing and I'll be ready."
Gentry truly looked as if he was going to lose it, his chest heaving with his labored breaths of worry now.
"She isn't ready! For shits sake! She's not even hit double digits yet! This isn't right." He hedged in frustration.
"But it's happening."
"I swear to God, when they come, when Demetri and his followers show, I'll enjoy ripping him apart limb from limb. Clarissa should be able to enjoy the rest of her childhood before worrying about this. Now she'll be just like Brenner was. You know how long it took us to get him adjusted, bro."
Jacob sighed and rested his cheek on top of Clarissa's head, his sorrowful expression making my heart clench and my emotion return.
"Brenner can help her. Probably better than we can." He soon breathed aloud. "Gentry, go get him and hurry."
Gentry tore off out of the house in a flash then, his running steps heading straight for the woods without stopping once.
I sat with them on the sofa and continued to hold a cool cloth to Clarissa's forehead, even though it wouldn't offer her much relief, I had to do anything I could for her.
"Do you think Gentry will reach Brenner in time for him to get back here before she phases? Her skin is sweltering."
"I think it'll be close, but I truly hope so, honey. I really do."
"I hate this for her." I told him. I selfishly want her to stay little."
"That's not selfish. It's what I want, too. She's strong. Little or not. She'll be okay."
"Cause she's your little girl. A real fighter just like her daddy. She gets that from you." I sighed.
"I'll do all I can for her. Whatever it takes. She'll be scared out of her mind at first and I hate that. I'd take it from her and endure it twice if I could. Seeing your kids hurt and not being able to do anything about it, is a whole other kind of hell."
"-but when she hears your voice through the pack mind, and she knows you're there with her, I think she'll be able to calm down." I timidly offered, placing my head on his shoulder as the two of us waited there for the inevitable to happen.
"You and the kids, Bella- you are the best things to ever happen to me- and I'll protect all of you fiercely, until I take my last breath. No less."