CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
(JPOV)
The suns rays from a new day touched Clarissa's face as she stirred in my lap, her skin so warm now that it rivaled my own and I silently cringed at what that meant.
Wouldn't be long now. We were getting closer.
A few hours remaining at best.
The Cullens would be arriving to Forks any time now and that knowledge sent my insides screaming for Clarissa.
Bella had packed the twins up and sent them back to Emily's for the morning just after breakfast, and I was thankful they weren't here to witness the chaos that would unfold later. It would only scare and confuse them in the end.
Sam had since stationed himself outside our house with a pacing Gentry, the two of them sticking close together by the tree line and tuning into every noise that came from inside the walls.
They were on guard, ready for the new phase that was coming and still waiting for Brenner to show. We learned that Rachel and Paul had taken him out of town for the day for an impromptu fishing trip and we were all anxiously awaiting their return.
"I made Gentry and Sam some breakfast. Think they'll want it?" Bella softly asked, her red rimmed and tired gaze reaching mine from across the room.
I nodded and managed a forced half grin to her in return from the obvious answer to her question.
"You know they can't say no to food." I encouraged, as she turned and headed outside to them with a full plate of roast beef sandwiches in hand.
My gaze soon fell back down to Clarissa, as a hundred memories of her, from the time she was just minutes old to the present, rushed through my mind all at once. My throat grew tight as one stood out to me above all the rest.
It was from the time I'd brought home her first bike, training wheels and all, just two summer's ago now. Her smile was wide, stretching from ear to ear when she saw me pull into the drive and unload it from the truck.
"Daddy! Is that for me!?" She excitedly asked, practically bouncing up and down as she ran toward me.
I caught her in one arm and hoisted her up, as she hugged me tight, and looked at the bright pink beginners bike with shiny tassels on the handle bars that blew wildly in the wind.
"Sure is, sweetheart. I got it with your uncle Gentry and Grandpa Billy today. Do you like it?"
"I love it! Teach me to ride!?"
"You got it." I told her, placing her back on her feet and setting the bike up beside her. She admired it with eyes of joy and reached for the hair tie on her petite wrist.
"Here, daddy, I need you to put my hair up! It'll get in the way when I ride!"
I took the tie from her and she quickly spun around while tilting her head back with an excited grin.
"A ponytail or a braid?" I offered.
"You can braid?" She asked in innocent shock, her surprised tone causing me to chuckle in response when her brown eyes met mine again.
"Yeah, probably not the greatest at it anymore. Been a long time." I admitted.
"Can you braid like mama!?"
"No, baby. I don't think so but I can try."
"How do you know how to braid!?" She asked with a light giggle as I parted her long hair and started.
"Well, would you believe me if I told you that your dad used to have long hair?"
Clarissa gasped and shook her head then.
"You had long hair? Really Daddy? How long was it?" She questioned with another giggle that made me grin at the memory of my younger days with long hair.
"I sure did. It was past my shoulders, but not nearly as long as yours."
"Why did you cut it off?"
"It got in the way for me." I told her, as I finished braiding the end of her hair and secured the hair tie in place to hold it.
"I wanna see you with long hair again! You should grow it out, daddy."
I chuckled and placed the long braid over her left shoulder as she took hold of the bike and peered up at me.
"You ready to learn?"
"Yep!" She huffed, eagerly swinging one leg over as I helped her to get adjusted on the seat. She tightly gripped the handlebars and peered nervously ahead at the long drive before her. "What if I fall over?"
"That's all part of learning, but don't worry, I'll catch you before you touch the ground." I assured her and she grinned easily at this. "You know, I taught your mama how to ride a bike, too."
"You did?"
"Yeah, but hers was a different kind of bike." I clarified, with a heavy sigh at the treasured memory.
"What kind of bike was it?"
"A dirt bike." I admitted. "-and your mama got a little throttle happy with it."
"What happened then?" Clarissa asked, as I placed the newly purchased lavender bike helmet on her head.
"Let's just say it didn't end well." I huffed.
"Tell me what happened!? Please?" She begged.
"Well, your mama fell off her bike and got a pretty big gash on her forehead from it. If you look close enough- really close- you can still see where the faint scar was from it."
Clarissa's widened and shocked gaze was almost comical as she peered my way.
"You let mama crash!?"
"I tried to stop her, but failed in the end. Don't worry, mamas head was okay. She wasn't wearing her helmet and that's why you always should, right?"
"Yes, I'll remember that rule daddy." She promised. "No riding a bike without a helmet on!"'
"That's right, we wouldn't want anything to happen to that precious head of yours, so always remember that. Do we have a deal?"
"We have a deal, daddy!"
"Good."
We spent the rest of that afternoon outside trying to master pedaling and by the time dinner rolled around, Clarissa had gotten the hang of it and was ready to try without me standing beside her. She wheeled down the drive and back with a wave to me, her small voice calling, "Daddy, look! I did it! I'm doing it! Look at me!"
"Great job, Clarissa. Don't forget to turn-"
I had no more than gotten the words out before she over corrected and toppled down into the dirt, scrapping her knee in the process with a cry that had me running to scoop her up.
"Daddy!"
I lifted her off the ground as the blood dripped down her leg from the small gash.
"I'm sorry, Clarissa. I didn't catch you in time." I regretfully told her, but she wiped her tears and pointed to the new bike with a teary grin.
"That's okay, daddy. I did two whole turns all by myself and I learned!" She sniffled. "At least I didn't crash like mama did on the dirt bikes."
I fought the grin that threatened to resurface on my face from this and carried her inside to clean her knee and get a bandage for her.
"Right, baby. It could be worse."
"Will you teach me how to ride those kinds of bikes soon?" She asked, wincing some when I carefully rinsed her knee with peroxide and dabbed it clean. "Ouch! That stings!"
I leaned down and blew on the scrape before putting the band aid on and wiping her tears from her cheeks.
"Better, sweetheart?"
"A little." She tearfully hedged as I placed a kiss over the bandage and peered up into her sweet face.
"How about now? Still sting?"
Clarissa shook her head and reached her tiny arms out for me with her answer.
"No, daddy. It feels better now. Thank you." She sighed. "You never answered me about learning to ride the kind of bikes that you and mama did? Can we?"
"Someday, when you're older, I'll teach you how to ride a dirt bike, but not for a while, alright?"
"Okay, daddy. Till then. What if I fall off like I did with this one or what if I crash like mama did?"
"I'll be there just like I was this time and we'll fix whatever gets broken, which hopefully, will be nothing." I half chuckled.
"Learning new things is scary." She hedged.
"Sometimes, but it's worth the adventure to learn something new."
"Is it okay to be scared?" She soon questioned, as I sat down with her on the porch step.
"Of course, but always remember you're much braver than you think."
"I am?"
"Yes you are." I told her. "-and if there's ever a time you doubt just how brave you are, I'll be right here to remind you."
"What if it's something really scary?"
"You come running to me, and we'll face it together. I promise."
"I hope I grow up to be brave just like you daddy. I love you."
"I love you too, Clarissa. Very much."
I blinked back the emotion that filled my gaze as I stared down at her now, wishing more than anything that I could've held onto that moment in time a bit longer.
Bella had always said the Clarissa was a daddy's girl through and through, and I had to admit that she wasn't wrong. She followed me everywhere she could, getting her new clothes dirty when out in the garage with me, or digging in the mud on a rainy day while we made our own version of mud pies. More often than not, she loved being where I was and I couldn't help but fear the danger of what following after me would bring her now.
Having her in the pack would change everything for me. It would alter my focus, because her safety would make me rethink things twice over in the future. I whispered my thoughts aloud then, knowing she wouldn't have memory of them later.
"When you wake up today, everything you've ever known will be different, honey. Don't be scared. I'm right here with you, Clarissa. I'm not going anywhere. I promise you that your safe, sweetheart. Even if it doesn't feel like it at first, just hold onto my voice, okay? We'll face this together, just like I promised you we always would after your very first bike ride. Nothing's changed there. It never will. I'll get you through this. I won't leave your side. It's gonna be okay."
The sound of an approaching engine, followed by running footsteps made me look up from her as Brenner came rushing inside the house with Bella fast behind him.
I held my hand up, gesturing for him to slow his advance and to be quiet when he spoke.
The longer she slept... the better.
"Mom brought me back as fast as she could- is it true, uncle Jake? Is she-"
I nodded and saw the dread touch his young face when he reached out and tentatively brushed the backs of his fingers against her fevered cheek.
"Is Paul here, too?"
"Yes, he's right outside with Sam and Gentry. Can't we do something to stop it!? Like you did for me?"
"No- she'll phase before the mornings out. I need you here with us, Brenner. No one would be able to understand it this young better than you. Can you do that for me? Can you stay?"
"I'll do anything for her. Name it and it's done." He countered.
"I want you and I to be the only two phased in when she does. She'll be terrified, just like you were, and I don't want more chaos around her than needed. The two of us are enough."
"You got it, uncle Jake. You got it." He sighed, sitting down in the adjacent chair to us with his concerned gaze fixed on Clarissa.
A/N: More to come. Please review and thank you! Also, I sincerely apologize for any missed grammatical errors over the last few chapters. Thank you for your understanding.