DISCLAIMER: All of the characters, plots, places, and everything else Harry Potter-related belongs to J.K. Rowling. I own none of it, and I am in no way associated with the Harry Potter franchise. No copyright infringement intended.
A/N This is my first HP fanfic! The idea hit me, and I had to write it. It is Harry/Hermione, but the development will be slow because I don't think it would be realistic to throw them together. Reviews are welcome because I want to know what you think! :)
"Bye, Hermione!" Ron said cheerfully as the screen door slammed shut behind him.
Hermione turned to give him a quick wave before realizing he had already disapparated. She sighed tiredly and gazed at the worn pages of her book once more. She was sitting at the faded blue kitchen table in the flat she shared with her boyfriend of two years. He used to stop and make a playful comment about the fact that she was always reading "those muggle books." Then he would kiss her on the forehead, tell her he loved her, and leave for work. These days, someone who didn't know either of them would assume they were siblings before lovers.
She gently placed her copy of Wuthering Heights on the table and stared out the window. Letting out a soft sigh, she wondered what happened. After the war, she and Ron had been mad about each other. They were more than first loves. After dating for only a month, they moved in together simply because they couldn't stand to be apart. She didn't like living in such a rural area all that much. Like Harry, she would have preferred to get a flat in London. However, there weren't many things she wouldn't have given up for Ron. During that time, Hermione was the most irrational, illogical, and happy she had ever been before or since.
She stood up and placed her hands on either side of the kitchen sink, staring across the fields full of golden weeds swaying in the summer breeze. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when it had all changed. She honestly couldn't even remember when it all started. As any of their friends would readily admit, the two of them had always spent more time bickering than anything else. Then one day, out of nowhere, she saw him differently.
It was fourth year, and they had been sitting in the Great Hall just as they did every night for supper. One minute she was scowling at his sloppy eating habits and the next she was trying to hide the blush that was creeping across her face. Just like everything else in their relationship, the development of her feelings was sudden and completely inexplicable. Now she wasn't so sure she felt that same spark when she was with him anymore.
Get a grip, Hermione. She chastised herself as she ran her fingers through her long, brown curls. You love Ron.
But even as she thought the words, she wasn't entirely convinced they were true. Did she love Ron? Of course, she did. He and Harry had always been her best friends, and Ron had always been a little more than that. She had been so sure that she loved Ron when she was seventeen, but then there were a lot of things she had been sure of at seventeen.
For instance, she was sure she would never see her parents again after obliviating them for their own safety, but that proved to be false as she found them a year later and successfully removed the spell. She was sure Harry was going to have to die before Voldemort could be defeated. That situation had worked out much better than she anticipated as well. She was also sure, in the case that he did live, he and Ginny would have been married by now. The two of them did get together again, but their relationship fell apart no more than six months after the war when Harry turned to alcohol and Ginny couldn't handle the ways in which he had changed. He had gotten his life together since, but Ginny never could quite forgive him for all the nights she found him passed out in the Leaky Cauldron. None of their lives had turned out like they were supposed to.
Hermione jumped at the sound of a pop behind her. She placed her hand over her racing heart and laughed as she realized it was only her best friend standing on the other side of the kitchen.
"Harry, you shouldn't just pop in and out like that! You nearly gave me a heart attack!" she cried.
"Sorry," Harry said. The amused smile on his face didn't make his apology sound very convincing.
Hermione laughed and motioned for Harry to take a seat.
"What brings you here anyway? Don't you have some kind of important auror work to do?" she asked teasingly.
"Lunch break," he said, holding up a small brown bag that she hadn't noticed before. "I thought I would drop in and say hello. I never see you anymore at the ministry."
He stared at her shrewdly. His statement was innocent enough, but she could detect his barely concealed question. It was true. She barely left her office most days and only came in when it was completely necessary. Even she knew that her behavior betrayed the fact that she had simply lost the eagerness and excitement she once felt for her job. Her S.P.E.W. campaign would have failed long ago if it weren't for her faithful assistant, Luna Lovegood.
"I've been busy," she said without meeting Harry's eyes. She stood up hastily and began preparing a sandwich. She hadn't even realized it was time for lunch.
"Busy with what?" he said, picking up the book which was flattened on the table. "Reading Wuthering Heights? Hermione, I know you've read this book at least a thousand times already."
She gave him an exasperated look and they both laughed.
"Fine, no questioning you about your books. I know," Harry said.
"It's about time you learned," she said.
Still laughing, she hit him on the arm playfully and fell into the chair next to him with one leg folded under the other. The two friends ate in silence for a moment before Harry asked, "Where's Ron?"
"You just missed him," she said, picking up half of her sandwich. "His lunch break ended just before you showed up."
"That's right," Harry said. "I keep forgetting he switched to eleven o'clock. How are you two by the way?"
Hermione choked on the bite she had just taken. "Excuse me?"
"Ron seems a little distracted lately, that's all." Harry said, looking as if he regretted asking.
"If Ron's distracted, it's not because of our… relationship." She stuttered on the last word before continuing. "Ron and I are perfectly fine."
"If you say so," Harry mumbled.
"And what is that supposed to mean?" Hermione asked, her brown eyes suddenly looking very accusatory.
"Merlin, Hermione. It was just an observation. I didn't say it meant anything." Harry said, his voice portraying his shock at her outburst.
"I know. I'm really very sorry, Harry," she said quickly, reaching out to touch his forearm. "I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. I've just been thinking, and I don't know what's going on… and I don't know what he's thinking… then you said that…"
Harry moved his arm that she was still touching and took her small hand in both of his.
"Hermione, slow down. You know I can't understand a word you're saying when you take off like that."
She laughed and placed her head on the table, her face covered by both arms.
"I don't know what I'm doing anymore, Harry."
"Mumbling doesn't help either, you know," he said.
Her head shot up and she gave him a look that made him quickly throw his hands in the air.
"I was just kidding! I heard you!" he said quickly, so as to avoid anymore of her wrath. He had long been aware of her short-temper. However, she only laughed at his expression.
He took her light response as a good sign and asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"
Hermione chewed the corner of her lip, a nervous habit she had been doing a lot lately. She wasn't sure if she should voice her concerns to Harry or not. He was Ron's best friend as well as hers, and he might feel obligated to tell him what Hermione was thinking. Before she could decide on a course of action, he said, "You don't have to, but Ron is worried about you."
"Ron is worried about me?" she asked, her voice full of surprise. "Why is he worried? I've done everything like normal. I've gone to work, packed his lunch in the mornings, kept up with the laundry…"
"It's nothing like that," Harry said reassuringly. "He says you've been really distant lately. Like you aren't really there even though… you are."
Hermione laughed. "He's always had such a way with words, hasn't he?"
"Indeed," Harry said, laughing as well. "But really, Hermione, I'm your best friend. I can tell when something is wrong."
"You're right," she sighed, giving up. "Something is bothering me. But you can't tell Ron!"
Harry laughed at her quick outburst that was accompanied by her finger pointing just inches from his face.
"Alright, alright," he said. "Your secret is safe with me. Now what is it?"
She stopped, not really sure how to put her thoughts into words. "I just feel… differently than I used to. Like there used to be something wonderful and now it's only good. Don't get me wrong! There's nothing bad about good, but it's just not… wonderful, you know?"
Harry said, "I'm not really following you, Hermione. Honestly, you're making about as much sense as Ron right now."
"Our relationship, Harry! Me and Ron!" she practically shouted, not understanding why he hadn't made the connection.
"Oh, I see," he said, though he still seemed a little confused. "So what you're saying is, you don't feel the same about Ron as you used to?"
"Well, when you say it like that it sounds quite harsh," Hermione said, chewing on her lip again. "I don't mean that I don't still care for him. I just don't feel as strongly for him as I used to, and I don't think he does either."
"Go on," Harry said, knowing she wasn't quite finished.
"It's just that we couldn't stand to be apart before, and everything was perfect. Now we act more like we used to back at Hogwarts."
"You mean you nearly tear each other's heads off at the drop of a hat?" Harry asked.
Hermione laughed. "Maybe not exactly like we did at Hogwarts. We are still nice to each other, but we used to be more than nice. We used to be in love! Now I find myself reading and wishing I had a great love like Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet or Heathcliff and Catherine."
She stopped, realizing that Harry had no idea who she was referring to. "Didn't you ever read Jane Austen or Emily Brontë, Harry?"
"Not really," he said. "But back to you and Ron, I think I get what you are saying. We were all so young and forced to grow up so quickly when Voldemort was defeated. We made a lot of decisions that have mostly proved to have been impulsive. I'm not saying you and Ron aren't meant to be together, but maybe you should consider the idea that your love for Ron was nothing more than friendship amplified by the extreme circumstances we were in. Obviously, Ginny and I weren't meant to last. Maybe you've outgrown your relationship with Ron as well."
Hermione stared at him in awe. "I never knew you were so insightful, Harry."
He feigned a hurt expression. "I'm wounded, Hermione! I can't believe you think so little of me!"
She laughed, and said "You know what I mean."
"I do," he said, looking at his watch. "I'm sorry, I have to get back to work. It was really great talking to you, Hermione. Good luck with Ron."
She stood up and embraced him. "Oh, thank you Harry. You've been very helpful."
He returned her hug and said, "Anytime."
Before he could disapparate, she called, "Have a nice day at work!"
He smiled and waved before spinning on the spot and disappearing. Hermione walked back to the table and sat down with a sigh. She certainly had a lot to think about, and she knew she had to do it before Ron returned because they needed to talk.