A/N PLEASE READ: Hello! It's been a very long time since I have posted any Klaine fanfiction, but recently, I busted out my old laptop and have been reading some of my old writing and I stumbled across this story; I had completely forgotten about it! The first 9 chapters of this story were actually written and posted YEARS ago, but in some rash decision, I decided to delete them (and all of my other stories off of my fanfic). However, upon finding this story and discovering it unfinished, I've been reinvigorated to re-post it and FINALLY FINISH IT! I hope this reaches some of the old readers who once believed in this story and I hope this also reached some new readers as well. I'm pretty nervous to enter back into this, but I want to finish what I started so long ago. Please enjoy and please let me know what you think :)
TRIGGER WARNINGS: Physical Abuse, mention of sexual abuse, depression, mention of suicide attempts/thoughts/ideation, and disordered eating.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee
Prologue
It's one of those moments
When you know you'll stand your ground
Whether that makes you brave or foolish
And you know beyond a doubt
That you won't move until you know they aren't coming back
When you'll wait and hope that they'll look back
Or turn around
When you pray that they'll realize it's all a mistake
And then you realize that the mistake might not be in leaving
But it had been in staying
It's one of those moments
It's one of those moments
When you know letting go is the right thing
But it doesn't make it any easier
When it takes every bit of strength you didn't know you had
To keep your feet planted firmly in the ground
It's the second you realize that you'll have to live off of memories now
And you can't tell if you should be grateful for them
Or wish you had never made them at all
It's one of those moments
It's one of those moments
When you wonder what you could have one to prevent this
You wonder what you did wrong
When you doubt you were ever worth it
And you're confused why they even stayed as long as they did
Because if you're not strong enough
Or special enough
Or smart enough
Or anything
If you are nothing, why did they stay
And what made them leave
It's one of those moments
It's one of those moments
When you realize freedom isn't what you want anymore
You just want them
It's one of those moments
Kurt heard the rain falling against the window panes in a multitude of hard slaps. The whole apartment was saturated with gray as the night's darkness permeated the small space. Come to think of it, the place was pretty much gray even in daylight. The dull, dim oppression that seemed to tinge the very air gave the spotless apartment the feeling of a prison. Or perhaps Kurt was just projecting his feelings onto everything.
Letting out a stifled yawn, Kurt winced as his stretching caused his every limb to ache.
He was tired and wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed next to Spencer. He wanted to curl up under the warm comforter and have Spencer encircle him in his arms and whisper sweet nothings into his ear until he fell asleep. But he knew that wasn't an option.
He felt the cut on his eyebrow still bleeding slightly from the book he had thrown at him earlier, and he knew it wasn't an option.
He felt the bruises up and down his spine from a year ago; they had never been given a chance to heal, and he knew it wasn't an option.
He felt the lump in his throat and the fear that was always in his heart and knew it wasn't an option.
It would never be an option because Spencer didn't love him. Love didn't hurt like this. Love didn't make you bleed and bruise. Sure, love made you cry and scream and fight and fuck and say stupid things, but it didn't make you need stitches or break your bones.
It had been a whole year of this shit, and Kurt was tired. Plain and simple; just bone tired. And if he ever wanted some sleep, he needed to leave, and never turn around; never look back.
His whole body ached and his mind was spinning so fast that the whole world seemed to spin with it; nothing made any sense.
In a rare moment of clarity though, Kurt knew, beyond a doubt, that he needed to escape while he could.
So before he could change his mind, he gathered his courage and slipped out of the apartment's door into the cold, dark corridor, while the beast slept in the bedroom.
He stepped into the pouring rain and took a deep breath.
He felt clean.
He felt something that he distantly remembered to be hope; he hadn't felt it in so long.
He looked at the dark street and let his eyes drift down the New York road to the lights of shops and restaurants. Like a moth to flame, he gravitated to the motion of the city that never sleeps.
He walked forward, and didn't look back.
A/N: I know it's not much to go off of yet, but what do you think so far? Leave a review or PM me!