A/N: This took far longer than I wanted mostly due to work but also because of how important this chapter is. I hope the wait was worth it. Soundtrack for this chapter include Going Under by Ólafur Arnalds, Ostuni by Melissa Parementer, and Breathing by Atli Örvarsson...three tracks I listed to endlessly and certainly had in impact on the moods of all the sections. Enjoy.

Soundtrack: Going Under by Ólafur Arnalds

They stood facing each other in an uncomfortable silence long after Tanya entered the house some distance away. Bella thought she saw a flicker of emotion flit over Rosalie's face, but whether it was distress or delight she couldn't discern because the blonde's mask came down in an instant, obscuring whatever she may have felt, if indeed she felt anything at all.

Rosalie may be skilled at hiding behind a blank wall, but if Bella could muster the strength to do the same it mattered not because she had absolutely no desire to. She was done veiling herself for others' sake. The seconds ticked by as she drank her in, waiting...almost hoping for something to break this spell.

She took a step forward of her own accord. The steadiness of her voice surprised even herself. "Hi, Rose."

She expected the anger. She expected it, but still it hurt when the voice she had longed to hear for so long finally reached her ears drenched in acid. "You shouldn't have come."

"Probably not the smartest thing I've ever done," Bella laughed humorlessly, "but I'm here. And I'm not leaving till we talk."

"Stay as long you want. I'll go."

"Don't you fucking dare!" Bella snarled.

Rosalie's anger was palpable, obvious even to her comparatively blind human vision. Yet Rosalie was underestimating her own rage. Bella had had two months to stew in it, two months to fan those flames. She ran and fought through it. She all but declared war on the Quilletes because of it. She hurt others and sought reckless thrills with it. But no matter what she did it was still there just under her skin waiting for the dam that was Bella's control to give way and let it surge out.

"It's been two months, Rosalie," Bella sneered. "Or don't you have calendars out here?"

"I know perfectly well how much time has passed," the blonde said through gritted teeth.

"Oh? Could've fooled me. One would think if that were true you'd spare a 'happy birthday' at the very least."

Amidst the coldness in front of her Bella thought she saw a glimmer of something else. Regret? Shame? Whatever it was, Bella didn't let it distract her. Anger was easier to manage than anything else Bella could conjure. Anger was far easier than the tranquility she, against her better judgement, had started to daydream about for this day as long as it was spent in Rosalie's arms. That hope died the day Rosalie left.

Rosalie shook her head as if to stop those other unruly emotions from latching on. She didn't have to put up with this. She turned on the spot and started to walk away.

"Stop being such a fucking coward!" Bella was screaming now. "There are things I need to say and you're not fucking leaving till I've said them!"

Rosalie snapped back so quickly her heart skipped several beats before she realized what was happening. Her hands balled into fists at her side instinctively, ready to defend herself if the pissed off vampire in front of her lost control of herself.

"Coward?" Rosalie hissed. "A coward?! It took everything I had to ask you to… everything! I went against decades of beliefs, a lifetime of self inflicted torture that I fucking forced myself to get over in record time...ALL of it was for YOU!"

Bella's heart hammered against her rib cage. She stood her ground despite the shrinking distance between them. Her balled up fists trembled at her sides as Rosalie slowly pushed forward, her rage gradually darkening her eyes.

" You think it was easy taking this relationship on? Knowing the danger? Knowing that one misstep and all of us could die? You think it was easy doing that knowing the ramifications on my life with Emmett? It would've been the easiest thing in the world to leave the day you came to Forks. YOU'RE the fucking coward!"

She was so close now Bella could easily make out the whites of her eyes. She could smell her scent lazily circling them with the breeze. Her arms need only reach out and she could finally embrace her.

"You're so caught up in your own angst you disregard EVERYONE around you! After EVERYTHING we endured…after how much we've suffered trying not to kill you everyday…even now you have no GODDAMN clue how hard it is…but we still push on and we help you and we stand by you…and we do it FOR YOU because WE LOVE YOU! You're fucking ungrateful that's what you are!"

Bella's lip curled back of its own accord. An onlooker would be mistaken in thinking she was the damsel in distress...that she needed rescuing from the visibly angry, visibly otherworldly monster in front of her.

Because Bella was a monster too.

The energy exploded out from her body, sending the too close Rosalie flailing backwards well past the house adjacent to them. The wave of sudden, apocalyptic destruction traveled only a few feet in every direction outside her body, but the damage was utterly complete. Nothing remained except Bella, who stood shaking and alone.

Fortunately there was no time to reflect. Rosalie's thunderous roar reached her ears a split second before she came back into view, hurtling herself over debris in the yard and in Bella's direction.

The air shield solidified around Bella just before Rosalie made impact. It held, and the blonde screamed and pounded her fists on the invisible but very solid barrier that had held back three other vampires before her.

Bella watched her girlfriend throw herself into the shield over and over again, all the while she stood in a defensive posture and tried to think her way out of this...Only her brain wouldn't cooperate. Rosalie's fury fed her own substantial reservoirs, and she was so damn tired of thinking. She was tired of constantly weighing her actions, her desires against a set of rules that she did not create. She was so fucking sick of everyone wanting something from her that she could not give.

So easy…it would be so easy to finally let go just this once. To let all of herself go…

Bella's eyes flashed crimson as wave after wave of fire poured out of her. The ground smouldered inches in front of Rosalie's feet, forcing the blonde to jump back before it could touch her.

Boulder after boulder in the Denali's heavily landscaped property broke open, their insides literally spilling out in rivulets of lava.

"FUCK YOU! Why can't you just accept me as I am?" Bella's voice shook despite the increasing volume. "Huh?! Why can't you do that?!"

There was more than indignation on Rosalie's face now. In addition to the cold rage that had been a mainstay since Bella laid eyes in her, fear now started to materialize.

"I accepted you, and everything you come with. I have NEVER tried to change you, Rose. I love you just as you are even when you're a downright BITCH! I never once asked you to change a single thing about yourself!"

The flames shot out of her hands and burst into fiery explosions in the spot where Rosalie had stood a moment ago. Bella let another fireball ricochet from her hands. And another. And another. The explosions in the distance roared to life before extinguishing themselves almost immediately. All the while, Rosalie remained a step ahead, relying on her superior reflexes to speed herself away from the perceived danger.

"I never asked for anything," Bella sobbed as the flames continued their journey from her hands. They were brightening the sky above them now, a technicolor of reds and yellows like a stormy mirage. "I never asked your family to adopt me. I never asked you to save me from Charlie. I never asked for so much as a ride to school."

As her emotions changed shape yet again and anguish began to eclipse the anger, she hesitated, completely out of breath, which prompted Rosalie to slow her movements too.

"I have a right to make this choice," Bella gasped through the tears that were burning their way down her cheeks. "I have the right to make this choice, Rosalie!"

"I'm supposed to be your partner," Rosalie cried. "Your choice affects me. And Emmett and Alice and all of us. You don't care about hurting me? Fine. What about Esme and Carlisle? I know what they are to you...what you are to them…"

She spoke like Bella hadn't given them any thought. Like it didn't gnaw on her every time she saw that look from one of her adopted family members. The way they tried to hide their sadness. Or how every interaction was now tinged with a layer of quiet resignation that dimmed their world far more effectively than the clouds in Forks.

"They respect my choice and my reasoning. Unlike you they actually stayed to hear it." Fury jolted back under her skin as her mind traveled back to the last conversation she had with Rosalie.

"But no, Rosalie is above that! Rosalie can't handle shit so Rosalie leaves, nevermind anyone else, nevermind the pain you fucking leave behind! You couldn't even give me the courtesy of explaining myself! Just up and left like you always do!"

The vampire threw her hands in the air and yelled right back. "Why, then?!"

"BECAUSE IT'S THE ONE THING I CAN DO, OK?! IT'S ALL I'VE FUCKING GOT!"

Bella's screams echoed in Rosalie's ears. She kept going.

"I have tried to kill myself a THOUSAND. Different. Ways. But it won't FUCKING LET ME! I don't deserve it. I don't deserve one life let alone what you're offering me! I shouldn't get forever when hundreds of others were cut short because of me!"

Soundtrack: Ostuni by Melissa Parementer

They stared at each other, finally silenced for more than a few seconds. Bella's breathing quickened as it dawned on her what she had just admitted...the thing she had kept from everyone else all while insisting it was simply fear of her powers that was the reason for refusing Rosalie's offer.

It wasn't exactly shocking, Rosalie would later reflect. Bella had told her as much before, the night they all learned of her connection to Jacob's mom. But that was supposed to be well in the past.

"So you're condemning yourself to death?" Rosalie whispered.

"It's not a death sentence, Rose. It's life. Life is supposed to end."

Bella regretted the words the instant they left her lips, for Rosalie looked like a slap in the face would've been a kinder blow.

On the verge of tears that couldn't fall, Rosalie asked, "And what have I done to deserve this? Why do I deserve an eternity with this pain?"

Bella's tears had no trouble falling. Neither did she as she sagged to the ground, her legs no longer capable of holding her. "You don't. I'm sorry. I know I'm being selfish...I'm so sorry. You're the strongest person I know. I wouldn't ask this of you otherwise..."

That predictable and comforting well of anger had dried up, much to Rosalie's dismay. She couldn't stop falling to her knees in front of Bella any more than she could stop herself from falling in love with her way back when.

"You said you were mine," Rosalie breathed so softly Bella almost missed it. "What you're asking me…can't you see what you're condemning me to?"

Bella could only nod sorrowfully. Her hands clenched around ash beneath her, remnants of the grass that until a few minutes ago was thriving and green.

"I'm sorry," she murmured tearfully. "If you really want a clean break, Rose…if the pain really is too much to bear, I'll go…I'll leave…I'll leave and you can put all of this behind you…"

Her insides tightened at the thought, but Bella meant what she said. Though deathly afraid of going down that road, she was prepared to do it. Her bag contained all the money she had and enough essentials to start over somewhere far, far away. Even further from civilization this time, though, the idea of enduring that sort of isolation again made her stomach drop.

She swallowed thickly and looked up at her. "…but Rose, I don't want to. It's selfish of me, but I'm scared of what I become without you. I don't like who I become without you. I don't…I don't want to be the villain in this story, and I think I'm turning into one. Please…I'm so afraid…Please…"

Soundtrack: Ostuni by Melissa Parementer

Seeing Bella on the ground begging hurt more than anything she could remember in her long life. Her instincts warred with each other. She wanted to tell her that time could mend her. It had worked for Rosalie after all. Rosalie's worst human memories had taken nearly a century to lose their sting, but it happened. Whatever Bella saw in herself and whatever she's done as a human could be traversed as an immortal, and she'd have Rosalie forever by her side.

But Bella didn't appear interested in putting the past behind her. The opposite, in fact. Bella seemed determined to punish herself till the very end. And in doing so, their family, and Rosalie most of all, would likewise endure what few of their kind have to.

Rosalie had never permitted herself to experience heartache of this magnitude. Never. Over the years she had been called many things from ruthless to cold hearted bitch. But her thick skin (even by vampire standards) had insulated her from the humans who sexualized her on a daily basis, Edward and his unyieldingly snap judgement of her character, and everyone else who only sees a blonde, aloof, fashion-obsessed supermodel.

The cruel irony of her situation wasn't lost on Rosalie. Had she not, until Bella entered her life, idolized the idea of mortality? Had she not endlessly mourned her inability to age with the world around her? Her inability to grow old with someone, to feel the passage of time and the eventual sunset of their days on earth? She would've given anything to have that with someone before all of this. And now if she went along with Bella's macabre intentions, she would all but certainly experience one half of what used to be her wish.

The question was, could she do it?

The question was, was it worth it?

It was par for the course for mortals after all. Commit with the knowledge that a car crash or a bullet or an aneurysm could kill your loved one the very next day and there wasn't a damn thing you could do about it.

But humans have short memories. She does not. Humans eventually heal. She would not. Humans convince themselves they'll join their loved ones on the other side. She was under no such pretense and would certainly not.

What Bella was asking of her was nothing short of eternal anguish in exchange for a blip (for that is what a human life is in the scheme of things) of happiness. It was the most selfish thing a person could ask another; to give the best part of yourself away knowing you'd never get it back.

And what would she have to show for it? She would have Bella, for as long as she could have her.

It wasn't nearly enough, but she would have to make do.

She knelt down in front of her. Bella looked up. This close, Rosalie could caress her cheek, and she did just that with both her hands, touching her for the first time since they parted months ago. She wiped away Bella's tears which were falling faster now, and even though her body couldn't produce the human signs of love and grief, Bella understood.

Neither of them would learn till much later that at that very moment, 2000 miles away, Alice was sighing in relief.

Before Bella could break down completely, Rosalie had her in her arms.

"I got you," she whispered. "I got you, I got you," she repeated through Bella's heaving sobs. She collapsed into her, utterly wrung out. The trip, the late nights, the emotional exhaustion...Bella was worn down to the bone. She was scooped up and carried inside, barely aware of Rosalie setting her down and helping her into a fresh set of clothes before finding herself wrapped in her arms. The only thought that crossed her mind as she lost consciousness was that she was finally safe. After two months unable to, she could finally take a deep breath.

Soundtrack: Breathing by Atli Örvarsson

It was dark when Bella stirred from her slumber. She has no idea what time it was but a large chunk of it must have passed seeing as she was wide awake. It took more than a few moments to get her bearings. She was lying in a large bed and unless another cold vampire had taken residence beside her, Rosalie was there too.

The elation of waking up beside Rosalie once again briefly veiled the reason for her sudden wakefulness. She squeezed the hand beside her, and despite the cold she warmed with the knowledge that her Rosalie was back.

But the feeling returned. The unease that had been her nightly companion for so long was making itself known, and though she felt comfortable in every conceivable way right here by Rosalie's side, she simultaneously felt like her skin was on fire.

Didn't it have enough? She destroyed the Denalis' yard (and there would be hell to pay for that, she was sure) earlier. Wasn't that enough for one day?

She had even taken on Rosalie, she realized with a tremble. She had attacked her. But no, Bella thankfully was aware enough to refrain from using her lighters. They remained in the bottom of her bag, leaving her to fight with her own brand of fire…deadly to all but the company she kept. She must have purposefully restrained herself. She must have…

"Bella, what's wrong?" The whisper came inches from her right. She couldn't resist leaning closer just to feel Rosalie's lips brush against her ear.

Bella did not answer. Instead she faught, and failed, to contain her body's desires. She was rapidly losing control and desperately needed to regain a foothold. She couldn't exactly leave Rosalie's bed and run to Seattle.

"What do you need, Bella?"

What did she need? She needed this energy to go somewhere, preferably somewhere that didn't result in a maimed or dead body.

"What do you need, Bella?"

She turned so Rosalie's face was in view. God, she was so beautiful. Even in the dim illumination coming through the window. Despite the turmoil inside her, close up like this Bella was overcome with deep love for this woman who could play her like she played the piano. Inching closer she finally met her lips with her own. It was their first kiss since Rosalie left, but it felt like the first time all over again. Bella immediately felt the power purr under her skin, and it exploded deliciously when Rosalie complied with her open mouthed request, granting her tongue access. It quickly became a searing, yearning kiss that had Bella's head spinning.

She was on top of her before she knew it. Bella's lips traced a wet trail down her neck as her hands traced their way down her body. Rosalie's moan sent her further down the rabbit hole, and she automatically reached between her legs for purchase, groaning when fingers met Rosalie's obvious arousal.

"Take it off," Rosalie gasped, and Bella paused to do as she asked. She frantically removed the blonde's pajama pants and then her own before resuming her ministrations to her sex. Bella held her breath as her fingers parted Rosalie's folds, shivering as she buried herself deep inside her.

Bella watched Rosalie unravel beneath her, a sight more powerful, more satisfying than anything she could possibly compare it to. She could get addicted to this. She was addicted to this. The noises coming from Rosalie's mouth, from between her legs…the way her eyes burned into hers…Bella's sweat coating her own skin and dripping down onto Rosalie's as she entered her faster and harder until she completely came apart with Bella's name on her lips…there was nothing in the world like it.

When Rosalie's hands continued to tremble haphazardly on the bed long after the rest of her body came down from its high, Bella looked at her quizzically and asked, "what is it?"

"It's…it's been a while, Bella. I have to be extra careful with you."

Indeed, Rosalie had been struggling and unable to use her hands. She was struggling so much she couldn't trust herself to touch Bella for fear of accidentally crushing her.

Bella considered this for a moment before an idea came to her. An idea that had her biting her lips to keep her arousal in check. "I can hold you down," she whispered hotly in her ear.

Rosalie chuckled, not taking her seriously.

"Do you trust me?" Bella asked, cupping her cheek, and Rosalie nodded with eyebrows raised.

Bella kissed her gently on the mouth, pausing to nibble both ears, the underside of her jaw, her throat. She slowly maneuvered Rosalie's arms above her so both her wrists were pinned down by her hand above her head.

The vampire smiled. "I like where your head is, but sweetie that isn't going to..." Rosalie stopped speaking as she realized what was happening. Bella's hand was still holding her wrists but something else was keeping her still, unable… for real, unable… to move an inch.

Rosalie stared at her in shock, and the darkened eyes looking back at her belonged to a very different Bella. This was not the sweet, melancholy, and mild-mannered Bella she was used to. The Bella looking down on her was a predator in her own right, high off her own form of bloodlust.

Both of them stilled, the air charged with electricity more powerful it seemed, than Kate's.

"Is this ok?" Bella asked, barely able to control her lust. Rosalie, helpless but eager to experience this new Bella, acquiesced with a frantic nod.

Bella shook her head. "Say it," she insisted while nipping at her chin.

"Yes!" Rosalie moaned the word much louder than necessary, and Bella was so close to completely losing control...but she stopped herself to ask a final question.

"Safe word?"

"Fuck…" Rosalie breathes hard, as if her own oxygen was quickly depleting, impossible as that was. "I mean, Colette. It's Colette."

Bella's lips quivered at that momentarily, but her hunger was closing in and there was no time to inquire about her chosen word. That would have to come later. She leaned down and kissed gently one last time, to remind her perhaps that she was still in there, before the moment ended and the predator returned.

She eyed the invisible restraints contemplatively and then adjusted them without warning so Rosalie's arms were splayed at her sides. Her legs followed suit, rendering her spreadeagled and unable to move any of her limbs. Bella then roughly pulled her lower down the bed, her power assisting. She slowly crawled up her body, her knees positioned on either side of the blonde's head, and without ever breaking eye contact lowered herself onto Rosalie's enthralled face. Rose drank her in, all her concentration going to this one act now that she could cease trying to control her extremities. Bella groaned at the feel of her mouth, threading the fingers of one hand in Rosalie's hair, fisting it, and grinding down hard. Her other hand locked around the headboard…and Bella lost herself to the unbelievable pleasure of Rosalie's enthusiastic tongue lapping at her entrance…inside of her…entering and swirling around her with as much skill as the blonde could muster without the use of her hands.

Only when Bella's hips started to buck involuntarily and she dug herself more forcefully into her face did Rosalie wish for her hands back, but only so she could hold onto her and force her down even harder. It was a sinful sight for both of them. Rosalie herself shuddered with a small orgasm while she watched Bella crashing over the edge above her, hair and body drenched in sweat that would make her salivate with want if her mouth weren't so busy already.

Bella slid off of her when the last of her tremors died. After untying her, she lay looking up at the ceiling unsure what to do or say.

"Did that help?" She heard Rosalie ask after several minutes had passed and her breathing had steadied.

She nodded. She was hesitant on how to proceed. Something had changed between them in the last hour. Or had it happened in Rosalie's absence, without either of them knowing it?

"Rose, there's something I need to tell you," she whispered.

Bracing herself for what would surely be a terrible reaction, she told her girlfriend of what she has been doing in her absence. She told her everything. The wolves. The men she pursued and punished. The people she sought physical comfort with. Everything.

"I'm not sorry for doing it," Bella said carefully, referring to her reliance on sex as a tool to curb her more dangerous desires. "But I am sorry for not talking about it with you first. I owed you that."

Much to her surprise, Rosalie did not flip out. She listened to her tale without interrupting and lay quietly when she finished, nothing on her face giving her away.

Rosalie's reaction may have been different if what she just heard had happened months earlier. But their separation had given her perspective. More importantly, Bella's earlier admissions were weighing heavily on her mind. If there was jealousy, it was overpowered by concern for Bella's safety. If there was indignation, it was overpowered by her worry that Bella's inner demon was escalating and driving her to do what she did.

"Are you going to stop?" She finally asked.

Bella stared at her, surprised she hadn't blown up. Then she thought about the question and paused. Would she stop? Could she stop? Did she even want to?

She ignored the last question because truthfully, she didn't have the mental energy to go there right now. But as to the others…

"I don't know," she finally answered with complete honesty. "But I can try."

Rosalie held open her arms and she sank into them, her head buried in her cool chest. "I'll help you," she promised. And Rosalie knew without a doubt this was a promise she would keep. She had unknowingly embarked on the biggest challenge of her life when her heart insisted she fall in love with this girl. Stewing in anger for two months, she had cursed her name and everything to do with her. But she couldn't turn back time and she certainly couldn't continue to lie to herself anymore. Life without Bella was no life at all. One day she would have to contend with the unthinkable if she couldn't get her to change her mind. If their family failed to convince her in time, Rosalie would herself die little by little until she was an unrecognizable shell of herself. Maybe Emmett could prevent that from happening. Maybe not. But until then, she would be there for Bella in any capacity she needed. She would never run from her again.

A/N: HUGE SIGH of relief. I knew this would be the hardest chapter to write thus far and I was right. It did not help that I've been building to this for 7 years (6 of those in a writer's block induced hiatus for all the new readers who have just tuned in). I truly hope the wait was worth it. As for me, I wouldn't have pressed the publish button if I wasn't happy with it, so I'm good.

This is the official end of New Moon by the way. Rest assured, I have detailed outlines and copies notes for Eclipse and the start of Breaking Dawn. I can also tell you that the general mood will be somewhat lighter for a good while. Angst will never really go away, but it will ease up a bit going forward. New Moon was the pit of despair after all and that's done now.

Oh and I still hate writing sex scenes. Fun to read, torture to write. The way I wrote Bella, and indeed the way she's evolving means there will be more though so...yay, I guess?

I'm really enjoying reading your comments by the way. The most thoughtful ones have pushed me to keep my head in the game and keep writing. Thank you, everyone, for every comment and kudos you send my way. They always make me smile.

See you soon!